The influence of the father on the formation of the personality of the child. The important role of the family in shaping the personality of the child
SCIENTIFIC AND METHODOLOGICAL WORK
Influence of parents on the formation of the personality of the child.
Plan
1.Introduction………………………………………………………………………………………3
2.History of the study of the problem……………………………………………………………5
3. Analysis of ways to solve the problem at the present stage……………………………..7
4.Experimental study of the problem…………………………………………..21
5.Conclusion……………………………………………………………………………….17
7. Literature………………………………………………………………………………… 19
Introduction
The upbringing of children, the formation of the child's personality from the first years of his life is the main responsibility of parents.
The family influences the child, attaches to the surrounding life. Love alone is not enough for children to grow up, to develop more normally. If parents are not competent in matters of upbringing, then their children cannot become individuals. And although love is a natural feeling for most parents, few children receive the kind of love that helps them grow and develop.
The family changes along with the development of society, it suffers from the same diseases and achieves the same success as society. Today, the majority of those entering into marriage are people with secondary and higher education. Why do many parents have a shift in many moral concepts, which inevitably affects the upbringing of children.
Increasing the responsibility of the parents of children, deepening the interaction between the family and public organizations involved in the upbringing of the younger generation are closely related to the solution of the problem of pedagogical education.
“Pedagogical culture for every family” - this motto has become decisive in recent years in organizing the promotion of pedagogical knowledge among the population. The minimum pedagogical knowledge currently available in every family does not meet the requirements of modern society. Therefore, it is so necessary to improve the pedagogical culture of each parent, to give the minimum of knowledge that is necessary for the upbringing of the child.
In accordance with this, the position of preschool institutions in working with the family is also changing. The importance of further content, the importance of further content, forms and methods of cooperation between the kindergarten and the family in the comprehensive development of the child's personality is obvious.
The teacher of a preschool institution acts not only as a teacher of children, but also as an educator of parents. That is why he should know well the "painful" points of family pedagogy.
“... The first life steps of the child begin in the family. His behavior is the result of the influence of the family way of life, the educational influence of parents and other family members.
The joint work of the kindergarten and the family is a necessary condition for the successful development of the child's personality.
If positive character traits, skills, habits are formed under the single influence of the kindergarten and the family, then their formation presents much less difficulties, and the upbringing of qualities is usually strong and stable.
If, however, a child is presented with certain requirements in kindergarten, and others at home, or there is no consistency in upbringing between family members, then the formation of useful skills and habits is extremely difficult: the body is constantly breaking down the initially established connections - all this requires a lot of stress on the child’s nervous system, negatively affects his condition, behavior.
An important task of preschool institutions is to provide daily assistance to parents in the upbringing of children, to promote their pedagogical education.
The purpose of our study: to find out the patterns of influence of parents on the formation of the child's personality.
Object of study:family upbringing.
Subject of study:the role of parents in the education of the personality of the child.
A hypothesis has been put forward : if parents know the psychological characteristics of the formation of the child's personality and know exactly their functions in accordance with the program of education and training in kindergarten, while actively participating in the work of the kindergarten, only then will a free developing personality grow up.
To test this hypothesis, we need to solve the following tasks:
1. To study the scientific and methodological literature on the research problem.
2. Establish contact with parents, find the right tone of conversation.
3. Determine the position of the child in the family. Who is the child for family members, how much time do parents devote to their child.
4. Find out how parents want to see their child and teacher.
5. To make sure that parents understand what we are trying very hard to do for them and their children, and we understand what they are trying to do.
6. Based on the data of the ascertaining and formative experiments, make recommendations and advice for educators in working with parents.
2. History of the study of the problem "The influence of parents on the formation of the child's personality"
Studying the literature on the issues of family education, it can be noted that many teachers, scientists, psychologists attached great importance to this issue.
In the pedagogical legacy of N.K. Krupskaya, a significant place is occupied by works devoted to the upbringing of children in the family. Nadezhda Konstantinovna shows how the example of adults, their attitude to society and life, practically affects the affairs. The good deeds of family members delight children, fill them with joy and a desire to imitate their parents. The high social consciousness of parents contributes to the formation of the corresponding consciousness of children. N.K. Krupskaya urged parents to take care of the childhood of their children and at the same time to see in the child the future person "
The works of A.S. Makarenko “Our children are future fathers and mothers, they will also be educators of their children, will help parents to properly organize their influence on the child.
Our children should grow up to be excellent citizens, fathers and mothers. But that's not all: our children are our old age.
Proper upbringing is our happy old age, bad upbringing is our future grief, these are our tears, this is our fault before people, before the whole country.
One of the organizers of the education system, A. V. Lunacharsky, also assigned an important role to parents in the upbringing of children.
“The pedagogical process is also a labor process, and therefore you need to know where you are going and what you want to do with your material. If the goldsmith spoils the gold, the gold can be poured. If precious stones deteriorate, they go to marriage. But even the largest diamond cannot be valued more in our eyes than a born person. Damage to a person is a huge crime, or a huge guilt without guilt. You need to work on this precious material very clearly, having determined in advance what you want to make from it.
V.A. Sukhomlinsky noted that parents need a pedagogical culture.
“No matter how wonderful our preschool institutions are, the most important “masters” that shape the mind, the thoughts of the kids, are the mother and father. A family team where a child is introduced into the world of maturity and wisdom of the elders is such a basis for children's thinking that no one can replace at this age.
The great Russian doctor, anatomist, teacher P.F. Lesgaft pointed out: “When studying a person and the conditions of his education, the conviction is most profound of how strongly not the words, but the actions of loved ones influence the developing child and how much the love of work, the work and truthfulness of the educator contribute to the moral development of the child.
By this, he wanted to prove the enormous role of parents in the development of a child's personality. “It is in the love of a child for his mother and for his father that his future feeling of a social person is laid; it is here that he is transformed by the force of attachment to the sources of life - mother and father - into a social being, because mother and father will eventually die, and their descendant will remain, and the love nurtured in him, entrusted, but no longer an insatiable feeling, must turn to other people, to a wider circle than one family. Therefore, the fact that the family is a school for understanding the Motherland, a school for cultivating organic loyalty and attachment to it, is one of the glorious reasons for the longevity of the family ... "
It is impossible not to recall the statements of M. Gorky. He wrote that “education sets itself three goals: saturating a person with knowledge about himself and about the world around him; the formation of character and the development of the will; formation and development of abilities. Knowledge should be not only a mechanical accumulation of facts, but also a criticism of the proofs of the truth of a generalization, an analysis of the process of thinking.
The formation of character, the development of the will only under the condition of wide independence of children in work, occupations, games.
The more reasonable love and attention we give to a child, the brighter, more beautiful life will become.
As can be seen from the presented review, the problem of family education was relevant in different periods of the formation of pedagogy as a science. Special attention is paid to this problem by teachers and psychologists at the present time. At the same time, it should be noted that the available literature data on this subject are not systematized. At the same time, by the nature of the sources mentioned in the review, it can be concluded that the study of the influence of parents on the formation of a child's personality seems to be a fairly relevant topic.
3. Analysis of ways to solve the problem at the present stage.
The process of education is complex, since we form the personality as a whole, and not its individual properties and qualities. The development of the child is carried out successfully under the condition of a harmonious combination of all aspects of education, in pedagogy there are no main and secondary issues.
The child is brought up continuously, and not from case to case, for example, only when he is taught, explained to him, advised, talked to him or answered his questions.
Personality formation is a multifaceted and lengthy process. The educator should disclose this situation, showing parents that, for example, physical education is not only taking care of the child's health, organizing proper nutrition, sleep, rest, being in the fresh air, etc. It is closely connected with the formation of the child's moral and volitional qualities of courage, endurance, patience, the ability to overcome difficulties that discipline, as well as with preparation for participation in work, for schooling.
An important condition for strengthening ties with the family, successfully solving the problems facing the kindergarten, is the pedagogical education of parents and the study of the best experience of family education. Each family, together with the kindergarten, should take care of the comprehensive development of children; Parents are responsible for the kind of children they raise.
In the family, the child acquires the first social experience, the first sense of citizenship. If parents have an active life position, manifested in the breadth of interests, in an effective attitude to everything that happens in our country, then the child, sharing their mood, joining their affairs and concerns, learns the appropriate moral standards.
The upbringing of a child and the organization of his life begins, first of all, with the upbringing of oneself, with the organization of life in families, the creation of highly moral intra-family relations that ensure a healthy microclimate.
No “little thing” that violates the emotional and moral atmosphere cannot but affect the child. The effectiveness of pedagogical influences largely depends on the family microclimate: a child is more amenable to educational influences if he grows up in an atmosphere of friendship, trust, and mutual sympathy.
Whether the child's initial experience with adults in the adult-child relationship system will be positive depends on what position he occupies in the family.
If adults concentrate all their attention on satisfying any desires, any whim of a child, conditions are created for the flourishing of egocentrism. In this case, the family cannot solve one of the most important social tasks of educating the future citizen of the Motherland.
Where a child is an indifferent member of the family, where he is involved in its affairs, shares common concerns, performs (to the best of his ability) certain labor duties, more favorable conditions are created for him to form an active life position.
In order to properly educate children, it is necessary to understand and take into account the psychological and individual characteristics of each child. However, not all parents have pedagogical knowledge for this. The task of the kindergarten is, in all forms of work with parents, to reveal to them the most important aspects of the psychological development of the child at each age stage of preschool childhood and the corresponding methods of education, while emphasizing that in order to educate children, one must know them and be able to see what is characteristic of each period of childhood and, specifically, what can be observed only in your child.
It is impossible to force development without taking into account the capabilities of a child - a preschooler. But developmental delay is also unacceptable. Therefore, it is important that parents know the psychophysiological indications of the development of children.
The preschool period of childhood is a time of intensive accumulation of physical, mental, and spiritual forces. At this time, there is a rapid growth of the whole organism, the development of the brain, and the associated complication of the processes of higher nervous activity.
The child increases sensitivity to signals from the outside world, the possibility of their analysis and synthesis; new connections are being made in the cerebral cortex, there is an increased accumulation of a stock of impressions and ideas. And the objects of the immediate environment, and the actions of people, and the events of social life as the child grows up. More and more they attract his attention, urge to peer, look for explanations, awaken his imagination, thought.
Parents are the first educators and teachers of the child, so their role in shaping the personality of a growing person is enormous.
Emphasizing the importance of the role of adults in children's lives is not an underestimation of how children themselves can mean to each other.
The child can enjoy the company of other children, learn and sometimes train them. But the main thing for the baby is whether adults consider themselves active participants in his development or passive observers.
Active participation is not necessarily intervention and control, but rather an attitude in which the adult in the child's world is a sensitive and adaptable person. Adults should see themselves as people whose behavior and attitudes are of great importance to the child. This means that sometimes adults must come to the conclusion that they, and not the child, should change, and even more so. Sometimes, no matter how hard it is, waiting is required when the baby makes a mistake. Sometimes you need to rush to help him. It also means that the child must be seen as a person with his own developing views and understanding. But in general, it means to consider that we, rather than, as the child has become accustomed to, should change, learn, and adapt. Adults, with their more flexible self-esteem, have much more joy in life with children.
Back in the 1970s, it became clear to specialists in various fields that they would not achieve noticeable results in raising children if they used only rare activities and did not involve parents in continuing this work at home. As soon as educators tried to conduct several experiments to involve the child's parents, they found that parents not only do not interfere or interfere with work, but, on the contrary, can contribute to rapid success. However, it is not necessary to see parents as part of the problem, rather, they can be part of the solution – parents can learn new skills, guided by a strong desire to help their children. Of great importance is the willingness to perceive children as individuals. This means trying to sincerely respond to children's feelings, reactions and problems, as is customary in human society. Children are individuals, adults too. It is unrealistic and useless for adults to ignore their own feelings or take into account their own behavior as an element of communication with children. While accepting and exploring what we as adults bring to our time with children, we must be flexible in our methods, open to the ideas of others, and willing to continue learning. The best preparation, however, does not provide all the knowledge, skills and understanding needed in different situations with children. Children, among other things, need the respect and attention of their elders so that they learn to be just as attentive in return. Children deserve this attention and will learn, like adults, to listen seriously to them and give them their time.
The main feature of family education is that it is the most emotional in terms of content and forms of relations between adults and children. This feature, with a reasonable upbringing of children, can become a significant formative force. Parental love for children and the responsible feeling of children for their mother and father, grandparents, their brothers and sisters helps adults overcome a number of difficulties (domestic, pedagogical), create a joyful family atmosphere, and educate children the necessary social qualities. Modern living, common household chores - all this contributes to the family's main task - raising children. But these objectively existing conditions will only be useful when parents and other adult members of the family are an example for small children in behavior at home and in public places, if they can organize their life; everyday life, play and work, useful interesting activities. If parents have a certain pedagogical culture (psychological and pedagogical knowledge, skills, desire to purposefully raise children), they manage to successfully educate preschoolers.
Improving the life of the family (adults and children), its way of life, style of relationships and spiritual culture is essential for the comprehensive upbringing of children, the formation of the foundations of the child's personality.
Parents, dealing with the child from the first minutes of his life, should feel responsible for his development. They are not passive observers, but active participants in the entire process of the formation of the child's personality. It is they who first of all regulate the influence of the environment, helping, by virtue of their capabilities, to eliminate negative and harmful influences. Parents provide the child with an opportunity for activity, create conditions for this, manage the process of raising the child, promote his correct relationships in kindergarten, at school, among peers, with all the people with whom the child communicates.
The influence of parents on the process of shaping the child's personality is more effective when the father and mother skillfully and consciously influence the child, understand well the significance of various factors on which his moral and physical development depends, deeply and comprehensively know their child.
The desire of parents to categorically determine the psychological type of their child can lead to erroneous conclusions, to incorrect assessments of his personality and, as a result, to the use of insufficiently thought-out educational methods.
Parents should strive to know the individual qualities of their child's character, to understand his unique spiritual development, on which the environment, and above all the family, has the main educational influence.
The development of the child from the first days of his existence takes place in the family. It is she who gives him the first experience and the first patterns of behavior, creates conditions for the manifestation of activity, helps to improve, directs him on a long and difficult path - to an independent, useful life for society.
Complete unity of requirements in the family upbringing of a child and social coherence in the direction of mutual efforts can ensure the formation of a comprehensively developed personality. For a child of preschool age, in which he lives and is brought up, is a natural environment. The family leaves its mark on his character and behavior, in the family he receives the first lessons in understanding the world and gets acquainted with the elementary laws of life. The information he receives gradually expands and becomes more complicated as the baby grows and develops.
The family largely determines the relationship of the child to work, the culture of his behavior, activity and initiative, discipline and a number of other personality traits that are the basis for the manifestation and development of individuality. The influence of the family is often so strong that in many ways it seems that the character of the parents is transmitted to the children by inheritance.
Undoubtedly, the environment, especially the conditions of home life, have a huge impact on the formation of a child's personality. But still, the leading factor in the comprehensive development of a person, as mentioned earlier, is education. Therefore, in the family, the child should receive proper upbringing.
I agree with the proposals of the above authors on the problem of the influence of parents on the formation of a child's personality. I think that at present this is one of the global problems. Parents should know the psychological and individual characteristics of the child, their functions in accordance with the program of education and training in kindergarten, in order to direct the process of education in the right direction. To do this, it is necessary to involve parents as much as possible in the life of the kindergarten. Therefore, the hypothesis of the study is that if parents know the psychological characteristics of the formation of the child's personality and know exactly their functions, while actively participating in the work of the kindergarten, only then will a free developing personality grow up.
4. Experimental study of the problem.
4.1. Ascertaining experiment
aim the research was to determine the position of the child in the family, who the child is for family members, how much time parents devote to their child, to find ways to communicate with parents, what kind of relationship parents have with teachers, in order to develop recommendations and advice for educators on working with teachers based on the results obtained. parents.
In accordance with the goals, objectives, hypothesis, the following methods were chosen: the drawing test "My Family", the "Two Houses" method, and a questionnaire. A more detailed description of the research methods is provided along with a presentation of the material on the work being done.
The objects of the study were children and adults of the preparatory group, in the amount of 12 people.
Initially, she conducted psychological diagnostics using the “Two Houses” method. Everyone was asked the same 3 questions:
- In which house would you like to live in a large beautiful one (showed a drawing of the house), or in another? (small, ugly)
- Why?
- With whom would you like to live in this house?
Out of 12 children, 8 would like to live in a beautiful house with all real family members; 4 children would also like to live in a beautiful house, but without a father or younger brother.
After processing the survey materials, she concluded that the children have a problem in their relationship with their father. To verify the correctness of my proposals, I conducted a drawing test on the topic “My family”.
My suspicions about the problems of relationships in the family between parents (in most cases, fathers) and children turned out to be reliable. Analyzing children's drawings, she noted that children reflect in the drawings how they feel in the family, how they evaluate their place in it.
Some children were looking for the real composition of the family. Behind this may be an emotional conflict, mental discomfort. This is a signal of the deep emotional experiences of the child. Some children do not have brothers and sisters, which indicates jealousy, competition for parental warmth and attention.
Much of what I learned from children's drawings was not news to me, since I made certain conclusions by processing the data of the Two Houses methodology.
Analyzing children's drawings depicting a family, I drew conclusions about the psychological climate in the family, about the state of mind of the child.
Many children have a sign of anxiety.
Processing the results of the study, revealed the presence of a high percentage of anxiety (about 75%) in children. Perhaps this indicates conflict situations in the family, about social problems at the present time, or it is connected with the crisis of 6 years.
On the problem of removing anxiety in the children of the group, she consulted psychologists of the GIMCA in order to work on this problem in the future.
On the problem of relations with the father, I concluded that we need to involve in cooperation with the kindergarten.
On the problem of relations with brothers and sisters, it became necessary to continue this work, to educate children in a respectful attitude towards them through fiction, conversations, and joint events.
To find out if parents know the interests of their children, who the child is for them, what the interests of the child are, what is done in the family to develop the interests of the child, how much time parents devote to their children, I conducted a survey.
Processing the data of questionnaire No., I found that parents know the interests of their children in most cases (10 out of 12). All parents (100%) answered positively to the question about the constancy or variability of interests. They know exactly whether the interests of their children are constant or changeable. But not all parents were able to explain what the interests of children are manifested in - 55%, 45% of parents found it difficult to answer this question. In 55% of families, the necessary conditions are created for the development of the interests of the child, 45% pay insufficient attention to this problem.
To reveal the attitude of parents to children, to their problems, how often parents pay attention to their children, I conducted a survey (questionnaire No. 2).
From this questionnaire, I found that a child in the family of most parents is joy, happiness, a long-awaited event. Parents know how to communicate with children, they take the troubles of children seriously (about 82%). From this questionnaire, I found out that parents treat the whims of children with misunderstanding, they do not try to identify the cause of the whims. I came to the conclusion that this problem needs to be worked on. She also noted that parents are not always serious about these children, promises, not understanding what problem everything can turn into in the future (45%).
Based on the survey, I found that parents more often use encouragement than punishment, which has a positive effect on the upbringing of the child (91%).
It is gratifying that humor is present in the upbringing of children.
4.2. Formative experiment
Having processed the results of the study, I outlined a number of activities, in my opinion, that contribute to the formation of closer relations between parents and children and with kindergarten staff.
In order to get to know the children and their families more deeply, she organized the contest “Themselves with a mustache”. Certain conditions of the competition were developed. I wanted to get to know who children love and why, to find out how cheerful, sad, kind, strict, noisy, calm they are, what they like and what they don’t like.
All parents with children took part in the competition. The drawings were different: some drew a sister, some brother, many drew grandfathers, grandmothers, even beloved aunts and uncles. Parents are concerned about the organization of the life of children in kindergarten. By March 8, held a joint event of parents with children "Mother's Day". When compiling the script, she took into account the individual characteristics of the children, involved each child according to their abilities. Children with pleasure together with their parents read poems, sang songs, dramatized skits, participated in various attractions. The holiday ended with tea. All parents liked how their children were prepared for the holiday.
Parents began to contact me more often with questions, and I was happy to answer them. I really wanted parents to see in their child a personality, individuality and help their child to be special, not like everyone else.
Developed for myself certain rules of communication with parents:
- You can’t start a conversation by pointing out the negative factors in the child’s behavior; you must, of course, note the positive aspects in his development.
- You should carefully, patiently listen to the doubts, objections, comments, complaints of parents.
- Mistakes must be pointed out tactfully.
- Provide only valid answers.
- It is necessary to inspire parents to believe in their child, subject to cooperation with the kindergarten.
From conversations with parents, I found out what the child’s life in the family is filled with, what methods parents use, what character traits cause them anxiety. If she could, she gave advice, or offered to read methodological and psychological literature.
I made a box of "Answers and Questions" for parents. Parents could ask questions in writing, and we answered them competently from a pedagogical point of view.
I tried to talk daily with parents about their children and keep notes for myself. Based on the records, I was looking for an individual approach to each child, based on his character, temperament. Conducted a consultation "Whims of children". To decorate our life a little, to make a holiday for children and parents, I prepared and held the holiday "Inseparable friends adults and children"
At this evening, dads took a great part with great interest. Parents with children were divided into 2 teams - children and adults.
In turn, the teams guessed riddles, sang ditties, participated in making handicrafts, preparing salads, and completed the “Draw Draw” (TRIZ) tasks.
Parents became closer to their children, began to take an interest in the life of the kindergarten every day. They began to offer their services: tailoring for dolls; dads made snow shovels, made a slide for children to ride. Parents expressed a desire to take part in a trip to the Mound of Immortality together with their children. Together with the children, dads collected brushwood for the fire. Even the most hyperactive children were unrecognizable, more disciplined. Skiing, sledding from the mountain was organized. Such communication with adults develops the child physically, makes it possible to believe in oneself, gives a charge of vivacity and health.
With systematic individual work with families, trusting relationships began to be established between pupils and parents. And this is an opportunity to provide optimal conditions for raising a child; ways have been outlined to provide effective assistance in the family.
To increase interest in sports in kindergarten, a lot of work is also being done with the participation of parents.
At the beginning of the school year, questions (questionnaires) for parents on physical education were prepared. A survey of parents was conducted, which made it possible to determine how they understand the tasks of physical education, whether they are able to create conditions for sufficient physical activity of their children at home, organize sports and physical exercises on weekends.
Questions in the questionnaire are grouped into five blocks:
1-information about the family;
2-availability of knowledge, skills and abilities of parents;
3-conditions for the physical education of children in the family;
4-types of activity of the child at home after coming from kindergarten;
5-level of pedagogical culture of parents.
The survey covered about 60 parents with different educational levels.
More than 50% of parents used to go in for sports, there are parents who have sports categories. Only very few continue to engage in physical education and sports at the present time.
From the questionnaires, it became clear that some children from the kindergarten are engaged in sports sections. Answers to questions about the observance of the daily regimen showed that in most families a daily regimen was established for children, but in the responses to hardening procedures, it became clear that not all parents pay due attention to this important task for raising a healthy child.
Parents knew how to carry out hardening activities, but many do not do hardening. Reasons: lack of time or conditions; frequently ill child.
At home, children were given sedentary activities; watching TV, playing computer games, drawing, reading books and playing with toys.
The main difficulties in upbringing for parents were caused by the following reasons: lack of time, skills in teaching children, conditions for physical education.
A survey of parents on physical education showed that many parents do not pay due attention to the physical education of children, and this is one of the most important tasks of educating a comprehensively developed personality.
“A healthy mind in a healthy body” is the proverb. The solution to this problem is connected, first of all, with the solution of acute social issues of the development of our society as a whole.
The information obtained made it possible to concretize the content of work with the family and to determine the subject and focus of meetings, consultations and other forms of communication with parents. In order to disseminate pedagogical knowledge among parents on the issues of physical education of children, a stand and folders were designed. They introduced parents to the tasks of physical education, they gave recommendations on morning exercises and hardening procedures.
At parent meetings, we talked about how you can have an interesting and exciting time with children at home and on a walk, using outdoor and sports games available to preschool children.
Consultations for parents were prepared on the following topics: "Hardening children - a barrier to colds"; "The value of outdoor games for preschool children."
In our kindergarten, a holiday "Dad, Mom, I am a friendly family" was organized. As well as physical education activities with the participation of parents. During their holding, parents together with their children took part in various competitions and games.
The possibility of such communication between parents and children contributes to a joyful, emotional mood for a long time. Purposefully carried out work with parents in our kindergarten helps to attract their direct participation in sports and recreation activities, and this, in turn, helps to instill in children an interest in physical education and kindergarten.
Thanks to all the work done, it became clear that the level of knowledge and skills of parents has increased, and the desire to participate in the lives of children has also increased. This was evidenced by the work of parents and children at the exhibition "Autumn ask". It is known that the educational effect of labor increases if the child shows interest in it. And this is largely determined by the working environment, the example that adults set, and especially the idea of the opportunity for the child to participate in work with them. Working next to mom and dad, children feel big and skillful, real helpers in a necessary and useful business.
Parents looked at their work with pride and rejoiced at their success.
4.3 Control experiment
To make sure that her goal and objectives were achieved, she re-diagnosed according to the methods used in the ascertaining experiment. Repeated diagnostics using the “Two Houses” method revealed results that turned out to be favorable for the further development of children: 83% of children would like to live with their family members, 17% had a problem in communicating with their father. She noted for herself that it is necessary to conduct individual work with the parents of these children.
Conducting a repeated drawing test, “My Family” noted that 83% depicted all family members, 17% improved relations with relatives.
The re-survey data has also changed:
91% of parents became interested in the hobbies of their children, 82% began to create the necessary conditions for the development of interests in the child.
The data of questionnaire No. 2 turned out to be the following: parents began to take their promises seriously; they began to treat children's whims more tolerantly, learned to distinguish them from other conditions of the child, attitudes towards the troubles of children changed.
Comparing the results of two studies, I came to the conclusion that if parents know the psychological characteristics of the formation of the child's personality, they will know exactly their functions in accordance with the program of education and training in kindergarten, while actively participating in the work of the kindergarten, only then will free developing personality.
As a result of my work, I have achieved positive results. Most importantly, I brought the parents closer to the children and to the kindergarten staff.
With systematic individual work with the family, a trusting relationship was established between educators and parents. This made it possible to provide optimal conditions for raising children, to outline ways to provide effective assistance in the family.
I hope that the foundations of pedagogical knowledge, received by parents through consultations and conversations, through joint holidays with children, will continue the path to acquiring more and more new knowledge related to teaching children at school, further shaping the personality of our society.
This is not the end of our work with parents. Many interesting events, discussions and consultations are planned.
5. Final part
Thus, the effectiveness of work with the family will be positive if the teacher follows the following rules:
Deeply comprehensive study of the family;
Will know her individual characteristics and educational opportunities;
Purposefully affects the family, taking into account their preparedness for raising children;
Observes pedagogical tact and flexibility;
Uses different methods of studying the family.
1. Work both with the entire team of parents and individually with individual families can be successfully carried out only on the basis of knowledge of the features of life and the upbringing of children in the family.
2. In fact, the material on the study of the upbringing of children in the family makes it possible not only to find out the living conditions, but also to establish the reasons for the formation of the individual qualities of children, to identify the relationship between the conditions of upbringing, the formation of behavioral characteristics and the specifics of their manifestation.
3. Positive results in the work with the family can only be if there is a unity of requirements for children between parents and educators, planning and systematic, mutual trust.
4. It is necessary to give parents specific information on the age and individual characteristics of their children, to teach them to see good and bad in their children, to analyze their actions.
5. In the upbringing of children in the family, the leading place should be occupied by moral education, the development of public interests in children, and friendly relations with others.
6. Along with general and individual forms of work with families, work can also be carried out with several families that have similar conditions for raising children.
7. The study of the characteristics of family education, as well as the study of the characteristics of the physical development of the child, is a necessary condition for the beginning of systematic work on the implementation of an individual approach to children in educating and teaching them in various activities.
8. Working with the family is the most difficult problem of pedagogy. This obliges educators to widely use theoretical literature, analyze practical work and work closely with the child's family.
Bibliography
1. Vinogradova N.V. "Educator about working with the family" M .: Education, 1989.
2. Gulina M.A. “Do you understand me?”, St. Petersburg, 1994
3. Gorky M. “Speech at an elected meeting of the League of Social Education”, M .: 1958
4. Krupskaya N.K. "On education in the family" Selected works and speeches. Moscow: Academy of Pedagogical Sciences, 1962
5. Koloyartseva E. I. "Kindergarten and parents", M .: Education, 1969
6. Kovalchuk L.I. "Individual approach to raising a child", M .: Education, 1981
7. Lesgaft P.F. "Family education of the child and its meaning", Selected works v.1, M .: 1951
8. Lunacharsky A.V. "On upbringing and education" M.: 1976, p. 3.-3.
9. D. Lashley "Working with young children" M .: Education, 1991
10. Makarenko A. S. Composition T. 4 APN, N. 1.
11. Makarenko A. S. Composition T. 4 APN, N. 1.
12. Makarenko, A. (1951). Composition.
13. Markova T.I. "Kindergarten and family", M .: Education, 1986
14. Nikitin B.K. "We and our children", M.: Enlightenment, 1980
15. Ostrovskaya L.F. "Pedagogical knowledge for parents" M .: Education, 1983
16. Platonov A.P. “Childhood of Bagrov the Grandson”, Collected Works vol. 2, 1.
17. Repina T.A. “Social and psychological characteristics of the kindergarten group”, M .: Pedagogy, 1988
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19. Cuslova L.D. "Family Traditions", M .: Pedagogy, 1979
20. Sukhomlinsky V.A. “I give my heart to children”, Kyiv, 1974
21. Filipchuk "Do you know your child?" M.: Enlightenment, 1958
22. Khripnova A.T. "The World of Childhood", Doshkolnik, M .: Pedagogy, 1987
23. Shipitsyna L.M. "Fundamentals of Communications", St. Petersburg, 1996
N.K. Krupskaya "On upbringing in the family" Selected works and speeches. Moscow: Academy of Pedagogical Sciences, 1962
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Introduction
1.4 Features of the formation of the personality of the child
Conclusion
List of used literature
Introduction
The connection between parents and a child is one of the strongest human bonds and is the main mechanism for the formation of personality. The more complex the living organism, the longer it must remain in close dependence on the mother organism. Without this connection, development is impossible, and too early interruption of this connection is a threat to life. family social education
The relevance of the topic of parental example as a mechanism for the formation of personality and child-parent relationships remains invariably acute throughout the development of science and practice. For a child, a family is a whole world in which he lives, acts, makes discoveries, learns to love, hate, rejoice, sympathize. As a member, the child enters into certain relationships with parents, which can have both a positive and a negative impact on him. As a result, the child grows either benevolent, open, sociable; or anxious, rude, hypocritical, deceitful. An analysis of the literature showed that despite the fact that parent-child relationships are one of the most important issues related to the formation of a child's personality, the problem of parental example as a mechanism for personality formation has not been sufficiently studied and researched. It was this contradiction that determined the choice of the topic of the course work.
The influence of parents on the development of the child is very great. Children growing up in an atmosphere of love and understanding have fewer health problems, difficulties with learning at school, communicating with peers, and vice versa, as a rule, a violation of parent-child relationships leads to the formation of various psychological problems and complexes.
Any misbehavior will affect the upbringing of the child - drinking alcohol with him, smoking, obscene language, fights and insults, and similar things - everything is perceived by the baby and forms his worldview.
If there is no trust, warmth, love, harmony, soul, peace in relations with a spouse (wife), then the child will have nothing to take and take out of his school of family life. If the relationship with the child is not the same, then it is not surprising that a difficult child has grown up in the family.
The purpose of the course work is to study parental influence on the formation of the child's personality.
The object is the family.
The subject is the influence of the example of mother and father on the formation of the child's personality.
To achieve this goal, the following tasks were solved:
1. To analyze the literature on the problem of the influence of mother and father in the formation of the child's personality.
2. Consider the features of the family as a social institution.
3. To identify the features of the influence of mother and father on the formation of the child's personality
1. Family as a social institution for the formation of a child's personality
1.1 The role of the family in shaping the personality of the child
The most important social function of the family is the upbringing of the younger generation. The family in modern society is seen as an institution of primary socialization of the child. Parenthood has a sociocultural nature and is characterized by a system of norms and rules prescribed by culture and society that regulate the distribution of the functions of caring for children and their upbringing in the family among parents: determining the content of roles, models of role behavior. Parents are responsible to society for organizing a system of conditions that correspond to the age characteristics of the child at each stage of ontogenesis and provide optimal opportunities for his personal and mental development. In the history of parenthood, the trend towards an increase in the importance of the institution of the family becomes more and more obvious.
Previously, the responsibility for raising a child was assigned to society, while individual parenthood covered only a relatively short period of a child’s childhood before he began to work or began to perform social functions, but with a change in the tasks of the child’s socialization within the framework of family education at each of the age stages of its development, the specific forms and means of educational influences, the nature of the relationship of the child with parents also undergo changes.
The main tasks of the family are the formation of the first social need of the child - the need for social contact, basic trust in the world (E. Erickson) and affection (J. Bowlby, M. Ainsworth) in infancy: Formation of object-tool competence at an early age and social competence in preschool, cooperation and support in the development of a system of scientific concepts and the implementation of independent educational activities in primary school age; creating conditions for the development of autonomy and self-awareness in adolescence and youth. Emotional saturation and emotionally positive nature of interpersonal relationships, stability, duration and stability of interaction with a partner, joint activities and cooperation with an adult as a model of competence, social support and initiation for independent activity make the family a unique structure that provides the most favorable conditions for personal and intellectual development child.
In each family, a certain system of education is objectively formed, which is by no means always conscious of it. Here we have in mind the understanding of the goals of education, and the formulation of its tasks, and the more or less purposeful application of the methods and techniques of education, taking into account what can and cannot be allowed in relation to the child. 4 tactics of upbringing in the family can be distinguished and 4 types of family relationships corresponding to them, which are both a prerequisite and a result of their occurrence: dictate, guardianship, "non-intervention" and cooperation.
Dictatorship in the family is manifested in the systematic behavior of some members of the family (mainly adults) of the initiative and self-esteem of its other members.
Parents, of course, can and should make demands on their child, based on the goals of education, moral standards, specific situations in which it is necessary to make pedagogically and morally justified decisions. However, those who prefer order and violence to all types of influence face the resistance of the child, who responds to pressure, coercion, threats with his own countermeasures: hypocrisy, deceit, outbursts of rudeness, and sometimes outright hatred. But even if the resistance turns out to be broken, along with it, many valuable personality traits turn out to be broken: independence, self-esteem, initiative, faith in oneself and in one's capabilities. The reckless authoritarianism of parents, ignoring the interests and opinions of the child, the systematic deprivation of his right to vote in resolving issues relating to him - all this is a guarantee of serious failures in the formation of his personality.
Guardianship in the family is a system of relations in which parents, by ensuring the satisfaction of all the needs of the child with their work, protect him from any worries, efforts and difficulties, taking them upon themselves. The question of the active formation of personality fades into the background. At the center of educational influences is another problem - meeting the needs of the child and protecting him from difficulties. Parents, in fact, block the process of seriously preparing their children for a collision with reality outside the home. It is these children who are more unadapted to life in a team.
Cooperation as a type of relationship in the family implies the mediation of interpersonal relations in the family by common goals and objectives of joint activity, its organization and high moral values. It is in this situation that the egoistic individualism of the child is overcome. The family, where the leading type of relationship is cooperation, acquires a special quality, becomes a group of a high level of development - a team.
Of great importance in the formation of self-esteem is the style of family education, the values accepted in the family.
There are three styles of family education: - democratic - authoritarian - conniving (liberal).
With a democratic style, the interests of the child are taken into account first of all. Consent style.
In the permissive style, the child is left to himself.
The child sees himself through the eyes of close adults who are raising him. If the assessments and expectations in the family do not correspond to the age and individual characteristics of the child, his self-image seems distorted.
M.I. Lisina traced the development of the self-awareness of preschoolers depending on the characteristics of family education. Children with an accurate self-image are brought up in families where parents give them a lot of time; positively evaluate their physical and mental data, but do not consider their level of development higher than that of most peers; predict good school performance. These children are often encouraged, but not with gifts; punished mainly by refusing to communicate. Children with a low self-image grow up in families in which they are not treated, but require obedience; low estimate, often reproached, punished, sometimes - with strangers; they are not expected to succeed at school and make significant achievements later in life.
Adequate and inadequate behavior of the child depends on the conditions of upbringing in the family. Children with low self-esteem are dissatisfied with themselves. This happens in a family where parents constantly blame the child, or set excessive tasks for him. The child feels that he does not meet the requirements of the parents. (Do not tell the child that he is ugly, this causes complexes, which then cannot be got rid of.)
Inadequacy can also manifest itself with inflated self-esteem. This happens in a family where the child is often praised, and gifts are given for little things and achievements (the child gets used to material rewards). The child is punished very rarely, the system of requirements is very soft.
Adequate performance - a flexible system of punishment and praise is needed here. Admiration and praise are excluded from him. Gifts are rarely given for deeds. Extreme harsh punishments are not used. In families where children grow up with high, but not overestimated self-esteem, attention to the child's personality (his interests, tastes, relationships with friends) is combined with sufficient demands. Here they do not resort to humiliating punishment and willingly praise when the child deserves it. Children with low self-esteem (not necessarily very low) enjoy more freedom at home, but this freedom, in fact, is lack of control, a consequence of parents' indifference to children and to each other.
Parents also set the initial level of the child's claims - what he claims in educational activities and relationships. Children with a high level of aspirations, inflated self-esteem and prestigious motivation count only on success. Their vision of the future is just as optimistic. Children with a low level of claims and low self-esteem do not apply for much either in the future or in the present. They do not set high goals for themselves and constantly doubt their abilities, quickly come to terms with the level of progress that develops at the beginning of their studies.
The second option - demonstrativeness - a personality trait associated with an increased need for success and attention to others. The source of demonstrativeness is usually the lack of attention of adults to children who feel abandoned in the family, "unloved". But it happens that the child receives sufficient attention, but it does not satisfy him due to the hypertrophied need for emotional contacts. Excessive demands on adults are made not by neglected, but, on the contrary, by the most spoiled children. Such a child will seek attention, even violating the rules of behavior. ("It's better to be scolded than not noticed"). The task of adults is to do without notations and edifications, to make comments as emotionally as possible, not to pay attention to minor misconduct and to punish major ones (say, by refusing a planned trip to the circus). This is much more difficult for an adult than caring for an anxious child.
If for a child with high anxiety the main problem is the constant disapproval of adults, then for a demonstrative child it is a lack of praise.
The third option is "avoidance of reality". It is observed in cases where demonstrativeness is combined with anxiety in children. These children also have a strong need for attention to themselves, but they cannot realize it due to their anxiety. They are hardly noticeable, they are afraid of arousing disapproval with their behavior, they strive to fulfill the requirements of adults. An unsatisfied need for attention leads to an increase in even greater passivity, invisibility, which makes it difficult for already insufficient contacts. When adults encourage the activity of children, show attention to the results of their educational activities and search for ways of creative self-realization, a relatively easy correction of their development is achieved.
The extreme, most unfavorable cases for the development of the child are strict, total control in authoritarian upbringing and the almost complete absence of control, when the child is left to himself, neglected. There are many intermediate options:
Parents regularly tell their children what to do;
The child can express his opinion, but when making a decision, parents do not listen to his voice;
The child can make separate decisions on his own, but must obtain the approval of the parents, parents and the child have almost equal rights when making a decision;
The decision is often made by the child himself;
The child himself decides to obey his parental decisions or not.
Let us dwell on the most common styles of family education, which determine the characteristics of the child's relationship with his parents and his personal development.
Democratic parents value both independence and discipline in their child's behavior. They themselves grant him the right to be independent in some areas of his life; without prejudice to his rights, at the same time demand the fulfillment of duties. Control based on warm feelings and reasonable care is usually not too annoying; he often listens to explanations why one should not do one thing and another should be done. The formation of adulthood in such relationships takes place without any special experiences and conflicts.
Authoritarian parents demand unquestioning obedience from the child and do not consider that they should explain to him the reasons for their instructions and prohibitions. They tightly control all spheres of life, and they can do it and not quite correctly. Children in such families usually become isolated, and their communication with their parents is disrupted. Some children go into conflict, but more often children of authoritarian parents adapt to the style of family relations and become insecure, less independent.
The situation is complicated if high demands and control are combined with an emotionally cold, rejecting attitude towards the child. A complete loss of contact is inevitable here.
An even more difficult case is indifferent and cruel parents. Children from such families rarely treat people with trust, experience difficulties in communication, are often cruel themselves, although they have a strong need for love.
The combination of an indifferent parental attitude with a lack of control - overprotection - is also an unfavorable variant of family relationships. Children are allowed to do whatever they want, no one is interested in their affairs. Behavior becomes out of control. And children, no matter how they sometimes rebel, need their parents as a support, they must see a model of adult, responsible behavior, which could be guided by.
Hyper-custody - excessive concern for the child, excessive control over his entire life, based on close emotional contact - leads to passivity, lack of independence, difficulties in communicating with peers.
1.2 Parenting styles and attitudes
Parental attitudes, or attitudes, are one of the most studied aspects of the parent-child relationship. Parental attitudes are understood as a system, or set, of the parent's emotional attitude towards the child, the perception of the child by the parent and ways of behaving with him. The concept of “parenting style” or “parenting style” is often used synonymously with the concept of “attitudes”, although it is more appropriate to retain the term “style” to denote attitudes and corresponding behavior that are not associated specifically with a given child, but characterize the attitude towards children in general.
The style of family education should be understood as the most characteristic ways of parental relations with the child, using certain means and methods of pedagogical influence, which are expressed in a peculiar manner of verbal treatment and interaction.
The clinically oriented literature describes an extensive phenomenology of parental attitudes (positions), parenting styles, as well as their consequences - the formation of individual characterological characteristics of the child within the framework of normal or deviant behavior. Convincing and demonstrative are observations and studies on the impact of incorrect or disturbed parental relationships. An extreme variant of disturbed parental behavior is maternal deprivation. Lack of maternal care occurs as a natural result of living apart from a child, but, in addition, it often exists in the form of hidden deprivation when a child lives in a family, but the mother does not care for him, is rude, emotionally rejects, and indifferent. All this affects the child in the form of general disorders of mental development. Often these disorders are irreversible.
So, children brought up in children's institutions without maternal care and affection are distinguished by a lower intellectual level, emotional immaturity, disinhibition, and flatness. They are also characterized by increased aggressiveness in relations with peers, lack of selectivity and constancy in emotional attachment to adults (“sticky”, quickly attached to any person, but just as quickly weaned). Long-term consequences of maternal deprivation are manifested at the level of personality distortions. In this regard, attention is drawn to the variant of psychopathic development described for the first time by D. Bowlby with the leading radical in the form of emotional insensitivity - inability for emotional attachment and love, lack of a sense of community with other people, global rejection of oneself and the world of social relations. Another variant of distorted development in its phenomenology corresponds to the classical type of "neurotic personality" - with low self-esteem, increased anxiety, addiction, obsessive fear of losing the object of attachment. But not only gross violations of parental behavior affect the course of the child's mental development. Different styles of care and treatment of a child, starting from the first days of his life, form certain features of his psyche and behavior.
S. Brody identified four types of maternal attitude:
1. Mothers of the first type easily and organically adapted to the needs of the child. They are characterized by supportive, permissive behavior. Interestingly, the most revealing test of this or that maternal style was the reaction of the mother to the toilet training of the child. Mothers of the first type did not set themselves the task of accustoming the child to the habits of neatness by a certain age. They waited for the child to “ripen” itself.
2. Mothers of the second type consciously tried to adapt to the needs of the child. The not always successful realization of this desire introduced tension into their behavior, a lack of immediacy in communicating with the child. They more often dominated rather than conceded.
3. Mothers of the third type did not show much interest in the child. The basis of motherhood was a sense of duty. There was almost no warmth in the relationship with the child and there was no spontaneity at all. As the main instrument of education, such mothers used strict control, for example, they consistently and severely tried to accustom a child of one and a half years to the habits of neatness.
4. Mothers of the fourth type of behavior are characterized by inconsistency. They behaved inappropriately for the age and needs of the child, made many mistakes in their upbringing, and misunderstood their child. Their direct educational influences, as well as the reaction to the same actions of the child, were contradictory.
According to S. Brody, the fourth style of motherhood is the most harmful for a child, since the constant unpredictability of maternal reactions deprives the child of a sense of stability in the world around him and provokes increased anxiety. While a sensitive, accepting mother (of the first type), who responds accurately and in a timely manner to all the requirements of a small child, as if creates an unconscious confidence in him that he can control the actions of others and achieve his goals.
If rejection prevails in the maternal attitude, ignoring the needs of the child due to immersion in their own affairs and experiences, the child develops a sense of danger, unpredictability, uncontrollability of the environment, minimal own responsibility for its changes in the direction of ensuring a comfortable existence. Lack of parental responsiveness to the needs of the child contributes to a sense of "learned helplessness", which subsequently often leads to apathy and even depression, avoidance of new situations and contacts with new people, lack of curiosity and initiative.
The described types of parental (primarily maternal) relationships are largely initiated by the infant himself, namely, the need to satisfy the basic needs for affiliation (attachment) and security. All of them can be located in the continuum "acceptance - rejection". It is possible to single out more complex types of parental relations, addressed to a child of an older age (3-6 years), where the parameter of educational control begins to act as an important socializing moment.
A. Baldwin singled out two styles of parenting practice - democratic and controlling.
Democratic style is determined by the following parameters: a high level of verbal communication between children and parents; the inclusion of children in the discussion of family problems, taking into account their opinions; the willingness of parents to come to the rescue, if necessary, at the same time faith in the success of the child's independent activities; limiting one's own subjectivity in the child's vision.
The controlling style includes significant restrictions on the behavior of children: a clear and clear explanation to the child of the meaning of restrictions, the absence of disagreements between parents and children about disciplinary measures.
It turned out that in families with a democratic style of upbringing, children were characterized by a moderately pronounced ability to lead, aggressiveness, and a desire to control other children, but the children themselves were difficult to external control. Children were also distinguished by good physical development, social activity, ease of making contacts with peers, but they were not characterized by altruism, sensitivity and empathy.
The children of parents with a controlling type of upbringing were obedient, suggestible, fearful, not too persistent in achieving their own goals, and non-aggressive. With a mixed style of upbringing, children are inherent in suggestibility, obedience, emotional sensitivity, non-aggression, lack of curiosity, originality of thinking, and poor imagination.
D. Bowmrin in a series of studies tried to overcome the descriptiveness of previous works by isolating the totality of children's traits associated with the parental control factor. Three groups of children were identified.
Competent - with a consistently good mood, self-confident, with well-developed self-control of their own behavior, the ability to establish friendly relations with peers, striving for research, and not avoiding new situations.
Avoiders - with a predominance of a sad and sad mood, it is difficult to establish contacts with peers, avoiding new and frustrating situations.
Immature - insecure, with poor self-control, with reactions of refusal in frustration situations.
Parental control: with a high score on this parameter, parents prefer to have a great influence on children, are able to insist on the fulfillment of their requirements, and are consistent in them. Controlling actions are aimed at modifying the manifestations of dependence in children, aggressiveness, the development of play behavior, as well as more successful assimilation of parental standards and norms.
The second parameter is parental requirements that encourage the development of maturity in children; parents try to make their children develop their abilities in the intellectual, emotional spheres, interpersonal communication, insist on the need and the right of children to independence and self-sufficiency.
The third parameter is the ways of communicating with children in the course of educational influences: parents with a high score on this indicator tend to use persuasion in order to achieve obedience, justify their point of view and at the same time are ready to discuss it with children, listen to their arguments. Parents with a low score do not clearly and unambiguously express their demands and dissatisfaction or irritation, but more often resort to indirect methods - complaints, shouting, swearing.
The fourth parameter is emotional support: parents are able to express sympathy, love and warm attitude, their actions and emotional attitude are aimed at promoting the physical and spiritual growth of children, they experience satisfaction and pride from the success of children. It turned out that the set of features of competent children corresponds to the presence in the parental relationship of all four dimensions - control, demands for social maturity, communication and emotional support, i.e. the optimal condition for education is a combination of high demands and control with democracy and acceptance. Parents of avoidant and immature children have a lower level of all parameters than parents of competent children. In addition, parents of avoidant children are characterized by a more controlling and demanding attitude, but less warm, than parents of immature children. The parents of the latter turned out to be absolutely incapable of controlling children's behavior due to their own emotional immaturity.
Thus, it follows from the analysis of the literature that the most common mechanism for the formation of the child's character traits responsible for self-control and social competence is the internalization of the means and skills of control used by parents. At the same time, adequate control presupposes a combination of emotional acceptance with a high volume of requirements, their clarity, consistency, and consistency in presenting them to the child. Children with adequate practice of parenting are characterized by good adaptation to the school environment and communication with peers, they are active, independent, initiative, friendly and empathic.
V. I. Garbuzov with co-authors identified three types of improper education practiced by parents of children with neuroses. Type A upbringing (rejection, emotional rejection) - rejection of the individual characteristics of the child, attempts to "improve", "correct" the innate type of response, combined with strict control, regulation of the entire life of the child, with the imperative imposition of the only "correct" type of behavior on him. In some cases, rejection can manifest itself in an extreme form - a real rejection of the child, placing him in a boarding school, a psychiatric hospital, etc. Along with strict control of education, type A can be combined with a lack of control, indifference to the child's life schedule, complete connivance.
Type B (hyper-socializing) upbringing is expressed in the anxious and suspicious concentration of parents on the state of the child's health, his social status among his comrades; and especially at school, the expectation of academic success and future professional activities. Such parents strive for multidisciplinary education and development of the child (foreign languages, drawing, music, figure skating, technical and sports clubs, etc.), but do not take into account or underestimate the real psychophysical characteristics and limitations of the child.
Type B (egocentric) parenting - "family idol", "small", "single", "meaning of life" - cultivating the attention of all family members on a child, sometimes to the detriment of other children or family members. The most pathogenic is the impact of improper upbringing in adolescence, when the basic needs of this period of development are frustrated - the needs for autonomy, respect, self-determination, achievement, along with the continuing, but already more developed need for support and attachment (family "we").
In the domestic literature, a broad classification of styles of family education has been proposed; with accentuations of character and psychopathy, and also indicates what type of parental attitude contributes to the occurrence of one or another developmental anomaly.
1. Hypoprotection: lack of guardianship and control over behavior, sometimes reaching complete neglect; more often manifested as a lack of attention and care for the physical and spiritual well-being of the child, affairs, interests, anxieties. Hidden hypoprotection is observed with formally present control, a real lack of warmth and care, and exclusion from the child's life. This type of upbringing is especially unfavorable for adolescents with accentuations of unstable and conformal types, provoking antisocial behavior - running away from home, vagrancy, an idle lifestyle. The basis of this type of psychopathic development may be the frustration of the need for love and belonging, the emotional rejection of the adolescent, his non-inclusion in the family community.
2. Dominant hyperprotection: heightened attention and concern for the teenager is combined with petty control, an abundance of restrictions and prohibitions, which enhances lack of independence, lack of initiative, indecision, and inability to stand up for oneself. It is especially pronounced in adolescents with psychasthenic sensitive and asthenoneurotic accentuations. In hyperthymic adolescents, such an attitude of parents causes a feeling of protest against disrespect for his "I", sharply enhances the reactions of emancipation.
3. Indulgent hyper-protection: upbringing like the “family idol”, indulging all the desires of the child, excessive patronage and adoration, resulting in an unreasonably high level of adolescent claims, an unbridled desire for leadership and superiority, combined with insufficient perseverance and relying on one’s own resources. Contributes to the formation of psychopathies of the hysteroid circle.
4. Emotional rejection: ignoring the needs of the child, often cruel treatment of him. Hidden emotional rejection is manifested in the global dissatisfaction with the child, the constant feeling of parents that he is not “that”, not “such”, for example, “not courageous enough for his age, forgives everything and everyone, you can walk on him”. Sometimes it is masked by exaggerated care and attention, but it betrays itself by irritation, a lack of sincerity in communication, an unconscious desire to avoid close contacts, and, if necessary, somehow get rid of the burden. Emotional rejection is equally detrimental to all children, but it affects their development in different ways: for example, with hyperthymic and epileptoid accentuations, reactions of protest and emancipation are more pronounced; hysteroids exaggerate children's reactions of the opposition, schizoids withdraw into themselves, go into the world of autistic dreams, unstable ones find an outlet in teenage companies.
5. Increased moral responsibility: requirements of uncompromising honesty, a sense of duty, decency that do not correspond to the age and real capabilities of the child, placing responsibility on the teenager for the life and well-being of loved ones, persistent expectations of great success in life - all this is naturally combined with ignoring the real needs of the child, his own interests, insufficient attention to his psychophysical features.
1.3 Development and formation of the child's personality
Unfortunately, few parents know how the child's personality is formed, and what exactly is the significance of this stage. But in vain - this stage can be considered a kind of starting point, which, ideally, should be associated with a change in many aspects in the relationship between parents and the baby.
A child who feels like a person requires a different educational approach, he builds communication with the people around him in a different way. Many people confuse the concept of “personality” and “individuality”. “My child is already a full-fledged personality, he has his own preferences, he hates listening to pop music, and loves the classics,” says the mother of a four-month-old toddler with pride. Meanwhile, the psychologist would have corrected her: the love of certain music in an infant speaks of the features not of his personality, but of his individuality.
As well as character traits, communication skills, etc. Individual characteristics of a person, such as temperament, giftedness, features of perception and processing of information (attention, memory), largely influence the formation of personality, but they do not completely determine its structure. When can we say that the child is aware of himself as a person?
Psychologists identify several important criteria: the baby fully uses personal pronouns; he is able, even at the simplest level, to describe himself (appearance, character), talk about his emotions, motives and problems; he has self-control skills; thus, children's tantrums over the most insignificant of reasons, such as your refusal to buy a toy or continue a walk in the park, indicate a lack of personality development; he has basic ideas about what is "good" and "bad" and is able to abandon the "bad" in the name of "good" and give up his momentary desires in the name of the common good.
By what age does a child have a more or less formed personality? Based on the criteria listed above, it becomes obvious: not earlier than by the age of two (as a rule, after you teach the child to speak and he will be able not only to share his thoughts with others, but also to reflect on his actions). Usually psychologists point to the age of three years as some significant point associated with the emergence of self-awareness in a child. At the same time, by the age of 4-5, he is fully aware of himself as a person with certain characteristics and “embedded” in the system of relations with the outside world.
Why is it important for parents to have an idea about the process of formation of the child's personality, and how is this process related to the choice of effective educational approaches? The extent to which the baby realizes himself as a person with certain qualities and is capable of self-control depends on the scale of the requirements that should be presented to him. In order to properly educate a child, it is necessary to have an idea about the features of his psychology at different stages of development. Here, for example, is a typical situation: a six-month-old baby screams in a stroller, and his mother tries to exhort him: “Shut up immediately, shame on you!”
Meanwhile, such suggestions will not lead to anything: naturally, at this age, the little one has no idea what “shameful” is. Moreover, he is not able to control his behavior - he is concentrated only on his momentary desires and demands their immediate fulfillment. And at this stage, it is important for the mother to understand that this does not mean that the child is spoiled or spoiled; this is a completely normal behavior of a six-month-old baby that does not require any punishment or any psychological and pedagogical correction. Now let's take another case: the child is one year and three months old.
According to his parents, he is already old enough, because he walks, speaks separate words, periodically uses the potty. In principle, he is already able to control his emotions: sometimes he stops screaming after his mother's harsh rebuke, he is able to be affectionate when he wants to achieve parental attention. But for some reason, he uses self-control skills selectively: not in those cases when parents or the situation require it, but when it seems necessary to the child himself. And now, at the family council, the question of the spoiled child is again raised.
Meanwhile, such behavior at this age, again, is natural: having the initial skills of self-control, the child still does not have sufficient motivation to limit himself in some way with their help. He does not know what is good and what is bad, while he still thinks in terms of “I want”, “I do not want”, “I like”, etc. Some moral maturity will manifest itself in it only after two years (and for some children even closer to three years), and will be associated with the active development of social experience, mastery of speech and familiarization of the child with culture, important components of which are moral and ethical values.
Thus, according to modern ideas about the formation of a child's personality, the upbringing of a child up to a year old should be based solely on creating optimal conditions for him for physical, intellectual and emotional development: restrictions and attempts at moralizing at this age will be ineffective. After a year of peanuts, it is already possible and necessary to begin to introduce certain social and ethical norms, but it is useless to demand their immediate observance.
Relatively speaking, if the kid pulls the cat by the tail, then you need to explain that he is wrong, but you should not expect that next time he will change his behavior: it will be easier to isolate the animal from the bully for a while. After two years, one can appeal to moral standards more insistently, and after three years, parents already have the right to demand their observance. If a child aged 3.5 - 4 years old systematically offends kids or beats toys in a store, this indicates either his psychological problems or gaps in education.
The formation of a child's self-esteem, his value system - that is, important components of the personality - largely depends on the parents. Here are a few rules that child psychologists recommend that moms and dads follow so that over time the child does not encounter problems related to his perception of himself or the attitude of others around him.
1) Form adequate self-esteem. Never compare a toddler with other children - neither for the worse, nor for the better. This is especially true of the comparison of personal qualities. If you really want to calm down the raging child, tell him: “look at Vasya, how he behaves calmly”! At the same time, the option “look at Vasya, what a good boy he is, and you are a naughty child” is unacceptable. The kid must understand that he is valuable in himself, and not in comparison with other children. If you want to praise a toddler, characterize him as “smart”, “kind”, “beautiful”, etc. without using degrees of comparison. 2) Encourage communication. Provide your child with maximum opportunities to communicate with other children and adults: this way he will socialize faster, learn the rules of behavior in society from his own experience. 3) Do not ignore the gender aspect of parenting.
From about 2.5 to 6 years old, the child experiences the so-called oedipal phase, during which he should form the correct sexual self-identification and the first ideas about the relationship of the sexes. At this stage, be extremely attentive to your child, give him your love, but do not succumb to provocations, demonstrate to him by your own example how harmonious relations between spouses are built. In this case, the child will come out of a difficult phase with a clear motivation to build the “right” love with a representative of the opposite sex. Incorrect behavior of parents can lead to the formation of the notorious Oedipus / Electra complex in the child or to other violations. 4) Teach him ethics and morality.
Explain in detail to him what ethical principles underlie the interaction of people - what is “honest”, “fair”, “good”, “bad”. Some parents believe that it is not necessary to “powder brains” with such explanations for the baby - “he will grow up and get smarter”. Meanwhile, the inability of the child to measure their behavior with social norms can lead to numerous conflicts and further problems in communication.
2. An example of mother and father as a mechanism for the formation of personality
The democratization of public life led to criticism of the authoritarian concept of education, which provides for the subordination of children to the will of the teacher and parents. In this regard, the concept of "authority", as the same root with the word "authoritarianism", has become very rarely used. And in vain, because the meaning of authority does not contradict modern trends in the humanization of education.
Authority (from lat. autoritas - power) - the influence of a person based on knowledge, moral virtues, life experience. Sometimes authority is defined as a relationship in which one person dominates another in need of support. The superiority of parents who are authoritative for the child is determined by their maturity, and not by violence, not by the suppression of his personality. To be an authoritative parent means to attract the child with the strength and charm of your personality, to guide and help where necessary. To accept such parental dominance means for the child not so much submission as trust, gaining protection. The feeling of life confidence, which was mentioned above, is one of the needs of the child's psyche, so he needs to find support, support in the person of an adult, especially parents.
A.S. Makarenko wrote that for a child of the first years of life “... the very meaning of authority lies in the fact that it does not require any evidence, that it is accepted as the undoubted dignity of the elder, as his strength and value, visible, so to speak, to a simple child's eye ".
For a small child, every adult is a natural authority, because in children's eyes he is the embodiment of strength, power, skill. This gives some parents the illusion that they don't have to put in much effort to maintain their authority. Such views are held primarily in families where education is based on guardianship, dictate. Meanwhile, a preschool child is already able to distinguish between authority based only on physical superiority (older, stronger) and authority based on affection and respect. Love, attention to the child, care for him - the first "brick" of parental authority. He will grow stronger in the eyes of the child as he “discovers” in his parents their high moral qualities, culture, erudition, intellectual development, skill and many other excellent qualities. Responsible parents think about their authority, try to maintain it, strengthen it, in any case not destroy it with unworthy behavior.
In a family, it is important to maintain each other's authority, while remembering that it is difficult to win it, and it is easy to lose it forever, especially in small everyday skirmishes, squabbles, and quarrels. Often, spouses, without thinking about the consequences, with or without reason in the presence of children, ridicule, insult and humiliate each other. Especially often this is done in relation to the father.
Sociological studies show that many schoolchildren put the father's role in third or fourth place when solving such questions as "Who would you like to follow an example from?", "Who would you trust your secret to?" Mother, brothers, grandfathers, grandmothers, peers are often rated as authorities higher than the father.
Research also shows that boys are particularly sensitive to the fall in the father's prestige in the family; in the conditions of "matriarchy" they assimilate the image of a man as a "superfluous being" and transfer this image to themselves. As a rule, the boy experiences a feeling of love and pity for the “secondary father”, and perceives the humiliation of his father as his own. But there are times when, having rejected the image of the father, the child will look for other male ideals, and it is not known where these searches will lead him. Girls are somewhat less vulnerable in this regard. They are able to focus even on such a father, who has lost his position as the head of the family, if he is affectionate and kind to them.
2.2 Features of the educational impact of the parental example
If the moral and emotional side of family relations forms the emotional basis on which the building of the spiritual development of the child is erected, then its direction is determined mainly by the ideological level of the family team, the content of the social aspirations of the parents, their moral character, or rather, the content and goals parent example. The latter is the realization in actions, deeds of certain value principles, expressing the ideological and moral position of the individual.
A living parental example is a specific form of transferring the social, including moral, experience of the older generation to the younger, the most important element of the most complex mechanism of social inheritance.
The success of upbringing is determined in this case by the unity of the following factors: the normativity of the moral and emotional side of family relations and the social value of the parental example. Moreover, if the stressful, tense atmosphere of the family, even in the presence of high socially significant aspirations of the parents, is not able to ensure the normal development of the child, then it is no less problematic if the child grows up in a family with coordinated family relations, but where orientation and antisocial attitudes adults are negative. A positive emotional background will only help to consolidate the negative experience of adults in the child's experience.
The educational power of parental example is extremely great. Practice constantly convinces us of this. As you know, in their behavior, children copy their parents in everything, up to verbal turns and gestures. It has long been noted that where adults have a conscientious attitude to work and the fulfillment of their civic duties, are friendly to people, honest, truthful, modest, etc., the process of moral development of children proceeds without any noticeable deviations and without much effort on the part of parents .
A number of studies convincingly testify to the strength of the influence of parental example. Interesting data in this regard was given by T.N. Malkovskaya. It turned out that the certain range of activities, interests, passions of fifth-graders of one of the schools (fishing, collecting, training dogs, repairing a bicycle, etc.) that she identified has its source in a parental example: the fathers of schoolchildren were engaged in these matters in their free time. Moreover, to the question: “Do children have a favorite theater?” - they almost unanimously answered "yes" and named their city theater, although there were few at its performances. Everything turned out to be simple: the parents loved the performances of this theater.
M.G. Kozak was able to establish a curious relationship between the nature of parents' self-esteem and children's value judgments. In families in which parents and elders gave the correct assessment of themselves and others, children had adequate skills and abilities. And vice versa, inadequate self-esteem of adults was reflected in the corresponding evaluative views of children: inflated self-esteem led to the fact that the vast majority of children had a very low attitude towards others and an overestimated attitude towards themselves; in families where adults underestimated themselves, the children expressed very inflated value judgments about others.
Even the reproductive attitudes of young people (attitudes toward the number of children in a family) demonstrate the enormous power of the parental example. Studies, for example, record the fact that the installation of a third child is most common among grooms who grew up in a family of three children, and less often among those who grew up in a small or large family. This attitude is even more pronounced among brides: those who were brought up in families with three children turned out to be oriented toward a third child three times more often than those who were brought up in families with few children, and twice as often as those who grew up in families with many children.
What is the power of parental example?
Parents are those individuals with whom the child is in direct contact from the moment of birth. The example of the parents is the first social model to which he is oriented and on the basis of which he masters the forms and content of human relations. This is extremely important, because the first impressions are the strongest, remaining for life, the first experience of social life is the most significant. No less important is the fact that children are constantly oriented towards their parents. Being in daily communication with their parents, they reproduce and assimilate the way adults act, their manners, habits, and then their inner qualities, way of thinking, attitude towards the fulfillment of public duty, etc.
Of particular importance is the fact that this communication is specific, unique, because it is built on a feeling of love, affection for parents, sanctified by their authority, which greatly increases the power of the influence of the parental example: it is assimilated much easier and faster. At the same time, parents influence him with all aspects of their personality: appearance, views, interests, attitude to work, to others, etc. Well said about it.
A.S. Makarenko, addressing his parents: “Your own behavior is the most decisive thing. Do not think that you bring up a child only when you talk to him or teach him or order him. You bring him up at every moment of your life, even when you are not at home. How you dress, how you talk to other people and about other people, how you are happy or sad, how you treat friends and enemies, how you laugh, read the newspaper - all this is of great importance for the child. The child sees or feels the slightest changes in tone, all the turns of your thought reach him in invisible ways, you do not notice them.
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The personality of the child is not yet a strong structure, which is formed in childhood. The author touches upon the problem of the influence of adults on the formation of a child's personality, since it is at their expense that children try to gain life experience.
To attract the attention of the reader, the writer notes that a casually thrown phrase that a child heard from his mother can turn into a psychological trauma for life.
(Proposals 4-5). Also, proving that for children, the phrases of adults “seem to be full of hidden meaning”, he gives an example from life in which, as a child, he combined two absolutely incoherent facts. and reinforced this false analogy. But still, finishing the reasoning, A. Morois concludes that it is impossible to protect children from such thoughts, but you can try not to give the child "spicy food for the imagination."
I agree with the author’s opinion and also believe that the whole future life and the emotional component of the personality depend on what childhood was like, since those who had a happy childhood endure all the difficulties of adult life more easily. But it is important not to overdo it, otherwise all efforts will be to the detriment.
There are many examples in the literature that prove my point of view, for example, let us recall the work of L.N. Tolstoy "War and Peace" Natasha Rostova was surrounded by love and care since childhood, an atmosphere of love and trust reigned in her parents' house. That is why she steadfastly endures such shocks as the death of her brother, the deception of Anatole Kuragin, the death of Andrei Bolkonsky. Even when the war comes, she remains a sympathetic person and helps the wounded soldiers. It was only thanks to her parents that Natasha grew up to be such a person.
Also, reflecting on this problem, I recall the works of Goncharov "Oblomov". Yes, his childhood was absolutely carefree, filled with pleasant emotions, as the dream of Ilya Ilyich speaks of, but it cannot be said that this makes him better endure hardships, such as, for example, the plundering of the headman of his parental village or parting with Olga. In my opinion, he is no longer capable of such emotions as disappointment, because there has been a complete degradation of the personality. And this was influenced by adults - his parents.
Thus, after analyzing two arguments, we can conclude that adults, in particular parents, seriously influence the formation of a child's personal qualities.
Updated: 2018-01-22
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The family plays an important, decisive role in the development of the individual. It is in the family that a person begins to take his first steps towards understanding the world. Parents have a great responsibility for shaping a person's outlook on life and moral values. Who. if not parents, will tell the growing child. what is good and what is bad? who, if not the family, will lay the moral foundation in a person? Of course, the world around also affects the personality, but the formation begins in the family. As Famusov said, the hero of A. S. Griboedov’s comedy “Woe from Wit”. “There is no need for another model when the example of a father is in the eyes.” And, indeed, if a child sees quarrels and abuse from childhood. display of disrespect. in a word, everything bad is negative. then later he himself absorbs these qualities. And if before the eyes of the baby there is peace, goodness, mutual understanding between close people. then soon he himself will become kind and open to the world. Let's discuss. what is a family?
Answering the question posed. you can note. that the role of the family in the formation of personality can be both positive. as well as negative. In the works of Russian classics, the authors have repeatedly shown the influence of the family on a developing person.
It is impossible not to recall the comedy D And Fonvizin "Undergrowth". This is where the influence of parents has become decisive in the formation of personal values. I became an undergrowth. so to speak, a hostage to the evil nature of the Prostakovs. Mitrofan is the fruit of the evil morals of the family. Since childhood, before his eyes there were quarrels, cruelty towards serfs, contempt for education. He grew up in an environment where the traditional family structure was completely destroyed. The mother is two-faced, in everything she seeks benefits for herself. The father is apathetic, narrow-minded, completely subject to the influence of his wife. There is no mutual understanding between relatives. You can’t exactly call such a family structure a role model. The child has no choice. He inherits from his parents traits of their character, a model of their behavior. Therefore, Mitrofan appears before us as a rude, uninterested young man. He is arrogant and cruel, calling the wet nurse "an old grunt". in addition, with great reluctance, he takes up lessons, preferring the dovecote to books, education. And the scene of a quarrel between Uncle Skotinin and his nephew further emphasizes the absence of any moral rules in the family.
K1 Relevance to the topic
The influence of parents on the development of the personality of the child arguments
2 argument in the formation of the moral qualities of the individual is great. The problem of development and preservation of the Russian language. the preservation of the Russian language is the task of each of us; we can trace the influence of parents on the children of a wealthy merchant, fell in love with the worker Sergei and was expecting a child from him. The influence of nature on the human soul The role of the family in the upbringing of the personality of a newly born child and for other people's children, saved them, became their Mother. And when in burned. Influence of parents on children 1) The uncontrolled development of science and technology worries people more and more. Man's perception of nature as living matter (the influence of nature on the soul. Using the example of three generations of the Kovalevsky family, one can trace the influence of parents on children heredity plays a role in the creation of a child, it is the upbringing of parents that predetermines the actions of a person The influence of the surrounding society on the individual is also important The author gives arguments in support of his point. , can not disperse Parents should in no case let the process of upbringing on. The positive impact on the personality of the child is that no one The value of the game for the comprehensive development of the personality of the child. in a mentally normal person, as well as in the development of mental disorders disorders, as well as their biological and adoptive parents and childbirth is one of the arguments in favor of the theory of occurrence. 2 argument in the formation of the moral qualities of the individual is great. The problem of development and preservation of the Russian language. the preservation of the Russian language is the task of each of us; we can trace the influence of parents on the children of a wealthy merchant, fell in love with the worker Sergei and was expecting a child from him. Especially in education, because the development of a child's personality is such a task. The upbringing of a child begins from the very moment when parents. a protracted struggle for influence, presenting them as arguments in disputes. The most important factor in the normal prenatal development of the child is. Thus, even before the birth of the child, the father influences him. Parents through words and behavior, one way or another, express their own. knowing what is best for the child, and will use those arguments.
The influence of parents on the formation of the personality of the child arguments
Read the thesis online on the topic ‘The influence of complete and single-parent families on development. Formation of personality, development of personal qualities in children of senior preschool. PECULIARITIES OF CHILD-PARENT RELATIONSHIPS IN DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILIES AND THEIR IMPACT ON. The influence of the media on the social development of a primary school student: Topic: The influence of the media on the social. Kindergarten.Ru Electronic Library Books on Pedagogy and Psychology Basic. Problems of ontogeny of communication; Introduction; CHAPTER 1 The concept of communication; Definition of communication Read the type of work is not defined online on the topic ‘The influence of the computer on the psyche of the child’. Year of publication and number of the journal: 2003, No. 4 Author: Savina E.A. Commentary: A chapter from a book. Key terms: communication, motivational, cognitive and behavioral (conative. Psychology of communication and interpersonal relations Table of contents Preface INTRODUCTION Brief. Since Freud placed the main emphasis on biological factors, all stages are closely related. The name of the stage of development and the age of children at this stage. Professions USE Entrance Exams: Area Studies: East*, Russian, Geo, Foreign Language Biochemist 07/13/1997 Dale Carnegie How to Win Friends and Influence People PREFACE Topics for essays and term papers Test tasks Chapter 3 Mental development of children. Description of the main psychotypes.: Knowing the personality type not only of one's own, but also of the interlocutor, one can. Course of lectures on the discipline History of pedagogy Contents Topic 1. Origin. Development of coherent speech in preschoolers Introduction Kindergarten.Ru Electronic library Books on pedagogy and psychology Development and CHRISTIAN DOCTRINE OF THE SOUL The study of the soul is especially important for Christianity.What is Down's syndrome, what are its signs and what are the causes of this. On the approval and implementation of the federal state educational. Vyacheslav Pavlovich Shestakov. Eros and Culture: Philosophy of Love and European Art Stalin's repressions. Great lie of the 20th century. Dmitry Lyskov. Annotation. Stalinist. i. L. S. VYGOTSKY. THINKING. I. SPEECH. 1934.ii. The work of L. S. Vygotsky is. On approval of the State Program for the Development of Education of the Republic of Kazakhstan. English from the publishing house Prosveshchenie UMK English in focus (Spotlight)
The influence of the family on the formation of personality
Traditionally, the main institution of education is the family. What a child acquires in the family in childhood, he retains throughout his subsequent life. The importance of the family as an institution of education is due to the fact that the child lives in it for a significant part of his life, and in terms of the duration of his impact on the personality, none of the institutions of education can be compared with the family. It lays the foundations of the child's personality, and by the time he enters school, he is already more than half formed as a person.
The family can act as both a positive and a negative factor in upbringing. The positive impact on the personality of the child is that no one, except for the people closest to him in the family - mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, brother, sister, treats the child better, does not love him and does not care so much about him. And at the same time, no other social institution can potentially do as much harm in raising children as a family can.
The family is a special kind of collective that plays the main, long-term and most important role in education. Anxious mothers often raise anxious children; ambitious parents often suppress their children so much that this leads to the appearance of an inferiority complex in them; an unrestrained father who loses his temper at the slightest provocation, often, without knowing it, forms a similar type of behavior in his children, etc.
In connection with the special educational role of the family, the question arises of how to do so in order to maximize the positive and minimize the negative influences of the family on the upbringing of the child. To do this, it is necessary to accurately determine the intra-family socio-psychological factors that have educational value.
The main thing in the upbringing of a small person is the achievement of spiritual unity, the moral connection of parents with a child. In no case should parents let the process of upbringing take its course even at an older age, leave a grown-up child alone with himself.
It is in the family that the child receives the first life experience, makes the first observations and learns how to behave in various situations. It is very important that what we teach a child is supported by concrete examples, so that he sees that in adults theory does not diverge from practice. (If your child sees that his mom and dad, who every day tell him that it’s not good to lie, without noticing it, deviate from this rule, all education can go down the drain.)
Each of the parents sees in their children their continuation, the realization of certain attitudes or ideals. And it's very hard to get away from them.
Conflict situation between parents - different approaches to raising children.
The first task of parents is to find a common solution, to convince each other. If it is necessary to compromise, then it is imperative that the basic requirements of the parties be met. When one parent makes a decision, he must remember the position of the second.
The second task is to make sure that the child does not see contradictions in the positions of the parents, i.e. discussing these issues is better without him.
Children quickly “catch” what was said and rather easily maneuver between their parents, achieving momentary benefits (usually in the direction of laziness, poor study, disobedience, etc.).
Parents, when making a decision, should put in the first place not their own views, but what will be more useful for the child.
In communication, adults and children develop the principles of communication:
1) Adoption of the child, i.e. The child is accepted as he is.
2) Empathy (empathy) - an adult looks through the eyes of a child at problems, accepts his position.
3) Congruence. Assumes an adequate attitude on the part of an adult to what is happening.
Low self-esteem in a child - rash words of adults hurt children
Sometimes words can hurt our children even more than physical punishment. The influence of parents on the formation of the child's personality huge: the words they use in communicating with the child form the basis of his sense of self and attitude towards himself. Words, like a mirror, show our children important information about who they are and who they will become. Many seemingly harmless words that we say without thinking (for example: “Why can’t you be like your sister?”) Can cause serious emotional trauma, deprive the baby of self-esteem and lead to the formation low self-esteem in a child.
Often adults mistakenly believe that they are doing the right thing by saying certain things that it is for the benefit of the child. Most children are emotionally resilient enough to deal with hurtful comments from their parents if it happens infrequently. But constant criticism from adults leads to low self-esteem in children. The more we become aware of the impact of our negative words on the psyche of children, the more likely it is that we will find other ways to influence them.
A group of mental health professionals and a group of parents were asked which parental statements they felt were potentially harmful to a child's self-esteem and should not be used.
Low self-esteem in a child: 10 typical statements to avoid when communicating with children
"Stupid", "You're a bad boy" ... "Slob". All this hurts!
Harmful: The influence of parents on children is difficult to overestimate. The words of the parents for the baby, like the words of God, are not questioned. If you call your child a jerk, a brat or an incompetent, then most likely he will believe it. Negative nicknames are not constructive criticism, as they infringe on the personality of the child as a whole. Nicknames tend to become self-fulfilling prophecies. A toddler who has been called "clumsy" may not want to play dance or sports. And the "shy" will avoid contact with peers and adults. By the way, here is a good article about helping a shy child.
Useful: Criticize constructively: direct your child's attention to certain behaviors that need to be changed, for example: "This room is a mess!", "The paper and pencils you left on the floor should be collected."
“If you weren’t there”… “No one will love you.”
Harmful: Rejection means your intense dislike or desire to separate from your child. For a baby, being the unloved closest person, mom or dad, means that something is really wrong with him and he cannot be loved. What a child needs most of all is the confidence that parents love him unconditionally, no matter what, love him just like that, and not for what they do or cannot do.
Helpful: Openly show your child love verbally (“I love you”) and physically (hugs, pats on the back, etc.) every day.
"You will never achieve anything" ... "Someday you will go to jail"
Harmful: Self-esteem in children and adolescents is a fragile thing. Children have a tendency to justify our ideas about them. One day the priest visited the prison to talk to a large group of prisoners. He asked how many of them had been told as children that they would end up in jail. The priest was shocked when almost everyone present raised their hand. Parents should believe in their sons and daughters and predict a good future for them.
Useful: "You're going through a difficult time right now, but I want you to know that I believe in you, I believe that you will overcome everything."
“You pissed me off”… “You are the reason your mother and I are getting divorced”… “Your brother would never do that. It's all you."
Harmful: Blaming the child for the actions of others. Children are a convenient and easy target for blaming other family members for problems. Do not shift the blame on the shoulders of the child for their emotions and actions. Our children learn to take responsibility for their actions when we set a personal example of responsibility for our own mistakes and weaknesses.
Helpful: If you yelled at your son or daughter, immediately after you cool off, apologize to them by saying things like, “I'm sorry I yelled at you. I feel very tired today and I need to try harder to control my emotions.”
“How did it happen that you only came second?” … “You only got 97 out of 100 on the exam? What happened to the other three points?”
Harmful: Perfectionist parents pressure their children to become the best football players and/or get only excellent grades in school. The message in this demand is, "You're not good enough for who you are right now." Expecting the unrealistic from the baby leads to the formation of low self-esteem in the child, to the loss of his self-confidence.
Helpful: To highlight the positives, you can say something like, “You worked hard to get a lot of A's on the report card” or “You did really well in the running competition. I got off to a great start and finished quickly."
"Why can't you be more like your sister?" … When I was your age, I walked three miles to school.”
Harmful: When you tell your child that he/she is not as well-behaved or has not achieved as much as her sister, you are sowing the seeds of resentment and intense rivalry between your children. Children should not feel competitive with other family members, because one of them will inevitably feel inferior compared to others. Even positive comparisons can lead to negative results. Saying, "You're a better tennis player than your brother," you introduce a sense of rivalry and division between your children.
Useful: Instead of saying, “You serve the ball much better than your brother at your age,” it’s better to say, “Your shots have improved a lot in the last year.” Compare the child only with himself, noting his growth and progress.
Provoking shame in a child
"Shame on you, you're acting like a child!" … "I can't believe you're afraid of a little kitten."
Harmful: When a child is shamed, he/she feels inferior. Shame is more demoralizing than motivating to change. Some adults publicly humiliate a child by pointing out weaknesses to others, such as a wet bed due to bedwetting. This cannot be done!
Helpful: When a child doesn't want to share his toys and is crying because of it, instead of saying, "You're too big to cry," say, "Sometimes it's hard to share. Next time we will remove your favorite toys."
"Go to hell" ... "Damn it!"
Harmful: There are few things more damaging to a child than abusive, obscene insults from a parent. A child's sense of self (whether he is good or bad, smart or stupid, worthy of love or not) depends entirely on the parents. Children are very vulnerable emotionally. When a parent scolds a child, he decides that it is his fault and draws the worst conclusions about himself.
Helpful: Instead of swearing, explain to your son or daughter what he/she did wrong and why it is unacceptable, for example: “When you leave the kitchen table untidy, it means more work for someone else. Get it off the table."
"If you don't come here right now, I'll leave and leave you here"... "If you do that again, the police will take you away."
Harmful: A threat is an exaggerated statement of intent to harm that parents use to intimidate and terrorize a child, such as "I'll break your bones if you don't behave." Threats create an atmosphere of fear and make the baby feel that he lives in an unsafe and hostile world. The threat of abandonment is especially traumatic for children, as they are very vulnerable and dependent on their parents for their basic survival needs.
Useful: Children should receive warnings, not threats. A warning is a realistic "if-then" statement about what will happen to the child if he continues to misbehave, such as "If you try to pinch your sister again, you will be put in a corner."
Provoking guilt in a child
"How could you do this after everything I've done for you?" ... "You will soon drive me to the grave!"
Harmful: Boys and girls who are made to feel guilty for ordinary mistakes or problems beyond their control end up believing they are responsible for everything bad that happens in the family, which leads to boundless guilt. Excessive guilt can prevent the acquisition of new behaviors or independence due to fear of offending the parent.
Useful: “It is bad to take without permission what belongs to another. How would you feel if your brother took something from your room without asking?
Dear parents, remember your great influence on the formation of a child's personality. Learn constructive criticism, learn to restrain your negative emotions (excellent article on this topic “How not to take it out on a child”). Be careful when choosing words in communication with your child. You don’t want your thoughtless words to cause low self-esteem in a child, do you?
The role of parents in shaping the personality of the child arguments
The role of the family in shaping the personality of the child
I was instructed to write an article about a well-known teacher of labor training in our city, Yevgeny Aleksandrovich Subbotin. It was not just a talented designer, a great craftsman.
The institution of the family is traditionally considered to be the leading one in the formation of the character and personality of the child. Those knowledge, skills, behavior, which are adopted in the family, play the most formative role. The manner of behavior, the relations that prevail in the family, are subsequently transferred to the adult life of an already formed citizen.
The problem of this text is the role of the family in shaping the personality of the child. The family can act both as a positive factor in upbringing and as a negative factor, as happened in our text. Of course, if there are favorable relations in the family, then there is nothing better for the child than the influence of grandmothers, parents, brothers and sisters. But if discord is present, it is difficult to find a worse problem for the little citizen.
We all live in society, so this problem, of course, is relevant: in modern society, more and more children are left orphans with living parents, do not receive affection, tenderness, love.
The author's position is unequivocal: he believes that if parents treat their son or daughter indifferently, without due attention, do not have a positive influence on him, then it will be very difficult for the child to avoid problems in the future and the present.
We will find confirmation of these conclusions both in classical literature and in the books of modern writers. For example, B. Spock in his book "The Child and Care for Him" wrote that if parents do not have a direct influence on their child, then the "street" will have it. Or let us recall the work of D.I. Fonvizin "Undergrowth". It shows us that children inherit from their parents not only genes, but also habits, moral principles, ways of thinking and ideals.
In no case should the role of the family in shaping the personality of the child be belittled. The life and formation of a citizen depends on how much affection, warmth and love he receives in childhood from relatives and friends.
Mathematics Task 3
A family of 3 people is planning to travel from the innovation city Yo to the village E. You can go by train, or you can go by car. A train ticket for one person costs 739 rubles. A car consumes 7 liters of diesel fuel per 100 kilometers, the distance along the highway is 900 km, and the price of diesel fuel is 15.5 rubles per liter. How many rubles will you have to pay for the cheapest trip for 3 people?
Questions and answers
Until the exam 2017 left
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Home / Psychology / The role of parents in shaping the personality of children
We all want our children to grow up to be happy adults. But it often happens that our children are capricious, behave badly, to the point that we generally lose all mutual understanding with our children. Why is this happening?
The character of a person, self-esteem, perception of oneself as a person - these indicators are formed from early childhood. Accordingly, parents make a huge and most important contribution to the development of these indicators. As they say, children are the flowers of life. And these flowers are different, depending on the environment in which they grow. In the desert, for example, a prickly cactus grows, it lacks water (attention). And in the tropical green forest - an orchid, there is enough water (attention).
For the formation of personality, an important point is the support and recognition of the success of the child. Take time for a conversation, preferably in the evening, to find out from the child how he spent this day, what important happened to him today, what event he remembers. In the rhythm of our lives, we do not have enough time for children, we notice them when they make noise, swear, bring bad grades. And we begin to teach them life. But after all, good behavior also needs to be noticed and encouraged !!
Praise even for small victories, for drawing a picture, for removing toys, for getting a good grade, etc. Recognize the merits of the child, and if something does not work out, support him, thereby reinforcing positive character traits and developing positive thinking.
Another very important point is how we talk to the child. What the mother says may be different from what she actually wanted to say to the child. And then we call children naughty. For example, if you want the child to stop running around the apartment, then the phrase spoken in a raised tone Do not run !! most likely to go unnoticed. Firstly, the NOT particle often falls out of perception, and the child may hear the run command instead of a ban on running. Secondly, the child needs to be told what he should do, and not vice versa. Kolya, please walk around the apartment.
You don't get anything. , You haven't been able to read this page for an hour. . Listening to such phrases, the child absorbs uncertainty like a sponge, he gets angry at the parent, who instead of support shows irritation.
The child needs to develop and reinforce a sense of confidence and the ability to achieve goals. You will succeed, Now you read slowly, but if you practice, you will read much faster. And here it is important that you yourself really believe in it! Such supportive phrases will form a confident personality and cause the child to respect his parent.
Children copy adults. Therefore, the more positive things you show your children, the more positive their thinking will be. Share your successes and achievements with your children and rejoice for them. Show them the kind of behavior you want to see in your children. Patience cannot be taught to children if the parents themselves do not show it. Our children are our reflection.
And finally, let the children dream. After all, it is not at all necessary that their dreams will come true, but on the way to these dreams they can learn a lot.
What role can the family play in the development of personality?
The family is, first of all, the unity of people. But what unites them? What is the core of human relationships? Material or spiritual? It depends on what the emerging personality will absorb. The values of the family will determine the values of a person.
Thus, we have before us a vivid example of the role of the family in the development of personality. The protagonist inherited the habits and way of life of his parents. Mitrofan's wickedness is a direct consequence of the bad qualities of his parents. So who would cultivate virtue in him?
Yes, the role of the family in the formation of personality is enormous. Let's look at another work of Russian classics, A S Pushkin's story "The Captain's Daughter". how parents influenced the formation of personality.
Pyotr Grinev, the protagonist of the story, was brought up in an atmosphere of high morality from childhood. Parents respect each other, peace reigns in the family. Petrusha's eyes are a living example of mutual understanding between people. The father's testament "Take care of your dress again and honor from your youth" became the main life guide for Peter. In the future, it is this father’s order that will affect Grinev’s behavior. He will be faithful to honor and duty, despite all the difficulties and obstacles. It becomes clear that it is the family that takes part in the formation of the personality, shows the child the way, opens the way to the world. If not for a solid moral foundation. pledged by the family and the order of the father. then who knows whether Pyotr Grinev would have remained true to his principles or would have followed the path of Shvabrin?
Summing up, I would like to say that the role of seven in the development of personality is enormous and should not be underestimated. Undoubtedly. "Each person must educate himself." but it is the family that determines the foundation of a person. it is the family that serves as a living illustration of behavior and morals.
The influence of parents on the formation of the child's personality
How does family influence personality?
Definition of personality
In psychology, there is a separation of the concepts of the individual, personality and individuality. The founder of this classification is A.N. Leontiev. According to his theory, personality is the subject of social relations and conscious human activity. From this it follows that the formation of personality is impossible outside the social environment.
The institution of the family is credited with the main role in shaping the personality, because it is she who is the first social group with which the child meets. It is here that the child receives the first ideas about the world and society, which is the foundation for all subsequent human development. The significance of the influence of the family is enhanced by the strong emotional and social dependence of the members of the group on each other, as well as the duration of the impact; according to these indicators, no other institution of socialization can compete with the family.
It is the family that lays down the basic structures of the personality: the style of relations with other people, which he receives through observation of the behavior of his parents. It is the personal example of the parents that has the greatest influence, and not reproaches and instructions. Through interaction with adults, the child receives the first ideas about himself, which is why attention and care are so important. Lack of parental love can lead to complexes in the future. Also, the child in the family forms an idea of himself as a representative of the female or male sex, learns to correct his behavior in accordance with these ideas. Moral values are formed, the child learns what is “good” and “bad”. Through communication with parents, the child forms life meanings, as well as aspirations and ideals, gets a sense of the connection between generations, learns to perceive himself as part of a group, thereby forming a sense of belonging.
But the most important acquisition is that the child learns to communicate. Based on his views and attitudes, he forms a style of communication, learns to interact with people around him. Of great importance here is the support of adults, it allows the child not to become isolated in failures, but to make new attempts.
However, the family will not have a decisive influence throughout a person's life. In psychology, it is generally accepted that with school entry, a new institution of socialization appears in a child's life. Now the school teacher and peers will have a great influence. In later life, new significant social groups will appear, however, by the age of 7, the child has already laid the foundations of personality, which means that further behavior can only be adjusted, therefore, in terms of the strength of influence and influence, it is the family that is the main one in personality development.
The structure and composition of the family, their influence on the formation of the personality of the child.
The family structure is determined by the number of generations, the number and gender of children, and the presence of both parents.
By number of generations
The most common in our society is a two-generation family: children + parents.
Positive aspects of such a family
- young families get used to greater independence, responsibility;
- fewer conflicts between "fathers and children"
Disadvantages of such a family
- family ties, traditions are lost;
- the older generation does not have the opportunity to closely communicate with their grandchildren, participate in their care and upbringing
Multigenerational family (parents + children + grandparents). if the family is friendly, then there is versatile communication, mutual influence;
- better life is provided;
- more appropriate distribution of ped. forces
-: lack of consistency and unity of requirements for the child on the part of family members;
- inconsistency in the methods of education (parents are usually more demanding, grandparents are more forgiving, allowing)
By the presence of both parents - complete and incomplete
Incomplete family (one of the parents is missing)
-: the difficulty in raising children lies in the lack of communication, the lack of the right psychological atmosphere.
When brought up in such a family, the mother should not pamper the child, but, on the contrary, emphasize masculine features in the boy, systematically ensure communication with male relatives.
It is important to increase the influence of each family member on the child in order to compensate for the absence of a family member.
By the number of children in the family
Single family. In most cases, the child is at the center of the family, he gets more material and emotional benefits. But the child is more often in the position of a ward, doing everything at half strength.
An only child does not have the opportunity to communicate closely with other children, he often develops inflated self-esteem and conceit, selfish traits may appear.
In a family with several children, children have to share the care and attention of their parents. This is compensated by special emotional connections in the general children's world. Seniors and juniors act in relation to each other as teachers and trainees.
-: children can compete with each other, the younger ones do not want to wear the things of the older ones, the older ones do not want to babysit the younger ones.
The influence of parenting styles on the formation of a child's personality
Most researchers of the problem of neuroses believe that the destructive style of parental attitude towards the child leads to the emergence of anomalies in the formation of personality in childhood (Zakharov A.I. 1998).
So, one of the founders of Russian psychiatry I.M. Balinsky (1859) believed that a strict, unfair attitude towards children in the family is an important reason for the development of a mentally ill state in them; an overly condescending attitude is the cause of overflowing emotionality in children; presenting excessive demands is the cause of mental weakness of the child. I.A. Sikorsky (1884) came to the conclusion that cruel upbringing contributes to the child's feelings of fear; pampering (relaxing) upbringing forms subjectivism and inconstancy of character in children; neglect of upbringing leads to difficulties in upbringing in general. V.N. Myasishchev (1934, 1939), E.K. Yakovleva, R.A. Zachepitsky (1960), S.G. Feinberg (1967) indicate that upbringing under conditions of strict but contradictory requirements and prohibitions is a predisposing factor for obsessive-compulsive disorder and psychasthenia; upbringing by the type of excessive attention and satisfaction of all the desires of the child leads to the development of hysterical character traits with egocentrism, increased emotivity and lack of self-control; the presentation of unbearable demands on children is recognized as the etiological factor of neurasthenia.
In the works of foreign authors, one can also find confirmation of the enormous role played by parental attitudes in the occurrence of disorders and deviations in the child's mental development.A. Adler (1928, 1930) notes that pampering upbringing contributes to the development of feelings of inferiority and a tendency to dominate, up to tyranny. S. Blumenfeld, I. Alexandresko, T. Georgiou (1970) believe that parental hyperprotection or radical neglect leads to instability and aggressiveness in children. B. Berelson, G. Steiner, summarizing the results of many researchers, consider it established that the less affection, care and warmth a child receives, the slower he matures as a person, the more he is prone to passivity and apathy, and the more likely it is that in the future he will form a weak character (Zakharov A.I. 1998).
Personal characteristics of parents have a significant impact on the nature of their relationship to the child. A striking example confirming this position is the concept of a schizophrenogenic mother (Fromm-Reichmann, 1948). A schizophrenogenic mother is a domineering, domineering woman who emotionally rejects her child and at the same time causes him severe anxiety, interferes with the normal development of her child due to a strong need to control other people's lives. She strives to be perfect in her actions and demands the same from others. Often this woman chooses a husband who is not able to meet such high standards of behavior and at the same time cannot resist her control. Therefore, he passively isolates himself from the family and allows his wife to surround the child with comprehensive custody. The child is teased with promises that all his needs will be fulfilled without effort and at the same time offended by petty control. In the end, the child succumbs and renounces the outside world for the security promised by an all-powerful, conniving mother who hides her own hatred and resentment for her demonstrated care (B. Suran, J. Rizzo, 1979).
Thus, the analysis of the literature on this issue allows us to once again see how undeniably great the role of the family, namely parents, in the development of the health and psyche of the child. Therefore, it seems important to consider how the relationship between parents and children can develop, what types and styles of parent-child relationships exist.
Needs of a hyperactive child
At present, the school is characterized by significant contradictions between the capabilities of a hyperactive child, especially at the first stages of education, and the requirements of the teacher. First of all, the learning system itself can be a psychological trauma.
It arises exactly at the turn of the usual school and new adult life. It can move up to 15 years. At this time, the child is on the threshold of real adulthood. Most 17-year-olds are oriented towards continuing education.
Solving the problem of postpartum psychosis
Maternal depression has a greater impact on a child's development in the first months of life than at any other age. Based on this, it can be considered that there is an initial period of susceptibility when the child is sensitive to na.
The influence of parents on the formation of children
As parents, we often think that because we love our children, spend time with them, communicate with them and properly discipline them, we ensure that they develop optimally. It's right. However, a more fundamental basis for shaping a child's personal development is not only our parenting methods, but also who we are as individuals. Our personal qualities, our own behavior and attitude are the main factors influencing the formation of a child's sense of self, his perception of himself, whether we know about it or not.
Children, like a sponge, daily absorb the obvious and subtle manifestations of their parents, their relationships, manners and worldview, which to a large extent form their children's personality. We, parents, have a set of our own personal qualities that we either inherited from our parents or acquired through interaction with people who are significant to us, the world, and as a result of unique life experiences. Even the most well-meaning parent unconsciously influences their child in both positive and negative ways. This is a universal and inevitable condition.
It is useful for parents to know how they shape the child's personality and to try to prevent the replication of undesirable behavioral habits that they consider unworthy of their own children. This article considers some guidelines and assistance in the formation of the child's personality from the point of view of psychology and eidetic images (i.e., in the imagination of images of objects reproduced in all details that are not currently acting on visual analyzers).
Ideally, a mother is a source of life experience for a small child. If she gives warmth, is sensitive to the needs of the baby, he will develop with a strong sense of integrity. If the mother of the child suppresses him, shows coldness, depression, anger or hostility, the development of the child will be disturbed.
Fathers, on the other hand, are designed to push the young child to actively interact and establish relationships with the world beyond the mother's embrace. The father tells the child about the world, he takes him to different places, engages in various joint activities and shows the child ways to interact with the outside world. If a child has a father who is self-confident, loving and able to tell in a fascinating way about the world outside the mother's safety zone, this world is perceived by the child as a welcoming and interesting place with which he can safely interact. However, if the father himself experiences difficulties in interacting with the outside world, then the child may adopt a similar way of thinking, and he will not have enough tools for his own successful interactions.
Even the most loving parents can pass on unwanted symptoms of negative beliefs to their children without knowing it. Here are some common examples:
- Excessive importunity of parents can lead to the opposite result - the child will be secretive and not too generous. When children grow up in an atmosphere of excessive obtrusiveness, annoying intrusion of parents, secretive behavior often becomes a habit for them. This may have consequences for the child in the future, when he wants to create deep friendships or romantic relationships, and finds himself unable to share his deep feelings.
- If parents overly criticize a child in an attempt to teach him to do things right, this can lead to the child becoming passive and indecisive, fearing that his decisions may be criticized and judged.
- Children raised in a home where their parents love them, but at the same time constantly quarrel with each other, can become insecure, because their sense of inner integrity and security will be threatened.
- Anxious parents can raise restless children, as children cannot relax due to the nervous energy of their parents.
- Parents who are overprotective of their children can contribute to the development of depressive symptoms in a child because they force them to suppress their natural need for exploration and freedom.
Therefore, in the relationship of a child with parents, obvious or hidden symptoms of personal problems of parents can be detected, and life in an atmosphere of unresolved emotional problems of parents affects the consciousness of the child in the process of growing up.
We often unconsciously imitate our parents in parenting approaches. You have probably heard these words more than once: “I am amazed that I am doing the same thing that my mother did when I was a child. Before I know it, the same words that my mother used to say to me are flying out of my mouth towards my daughter.”
Vivid examples of such behavior of parents can be observed in some families during the meal. Some parents, themselves, as children, at dinner often heard the following words addressed to them: “For God's sake, Ivan, when will you learn to use a fork?” or “Stop smearing food on your plate and just eat!” They still remember how painful such criticism was for them. Deep down, these children swore an oath that they would never talk to their children like that. And what? 20-30 years pass, and already as parents they teach their children in the same annoyed tone: “Mikhail, for God's sake, how many times have I taught you how to use a fork and knife correctly?” and “When will you finally learn to say “please” and “thank you” to your mom when she passes you bread?”.
Just as we unconsciously imitate our parents, our children will imitate us or react to our behavior in different situations. Experts in the field of eidetic psychology have found that there are six main ways in which the personality of the parent influences the formation of the personality of the child. In each of them, the child loses some of his true individuality, as he imitates or reacts to his parents.
Children imitate their parents. They unconsciously internalize the attitudes and emotions of their parents. If a daughter sees her mother looking in the mirror and asks, "Do I look fat?", she will begin to imitate her mother's self-critical behavior. She, too, will look in the mirror and look for flaws in herself. Fortunately, daughters imitate motherly self-confidence as well. The child of the angry father imitates angry behavior and lashes out at the children in the playground. On the other hand, a child who sees a kind and helping other people dad will develop a similar attitude towards other people.
Identification is more fundamental than imitation. This is not just a repetition of the behavior of parents. This is the sharing of their views, attitudes and feelings - the child feels an identity with his parents in some way. For example, a father who is very conservative, dresses in a traditional style, is proud of people in uniform, considers devotion to the Motherland above all else, has a daughter who fully shares his worldview and marries a man who looks like her father. This daughter is deeply identified with her father's beliefs and way of life and may be losing a (true) sense of self that is actually different from her father's. Identification involves the identification of one's own worldview and behavior with the worldview and behavior of parents.
Reaction is behavior that is directly opposite to the behavior of parents. The reaction is more common in adolescents, although it can be observed throughout life. For example, a parent may be a very religious person and their child may be a rebel who considers himself an atheist and refuses to go to church. Or the parent may be very tidy, while the child, in contrast, becomes very sloppy in life and work. A parent can meticulously stick to using only natural foods and taking multivitamins, to which his child reacts by eating unhealthy foods and not paying attention to his own health. In an attempt to find himself, the child tries so hard to be different from his parents that he loses sight of who he truly is, his unique characteristics and life values.
When a young child is denied basic biological needs and experiences deprivations such as lack of close bonding with the mother, lack of parenting, neglect, parental discipline policies that are too hard or too soft, or a host of other deprivations, such a child will suffer feelings of inner emptiness. This is fertile ground for the development of eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia), drug addiction, sexual obsessions or emotional outbursts, through which the child seeks love and support. We have all suffered various losses in life; however, the most powerful of them leave a void or "hole" in the human psyche that is difficult to fill.
Projection occurs when one's own subjective thoughts are attributed to other people (as well as one's feelings, emotions, intentions, experiences are transferred to others). That is, a person mistakenly considers everything that happens within himself as coming outside. If a father says that one of his two daughters is beautiful and the other is smart, then the "smart" girl may think she is ugly, although this may be far from the truth. Conversely, a beautiful daughter may feel stupid. A father who does not participate in the daily lives of his children because he has to work two jobs to support his family due to economic necessity (and, of course, out of love for his family) may have a child who imagined that the father does not like him because he is never at home. He will grow up feeling unloved when he is not. Children make false assumptions about themselves and inaccurate interpretations of their lives in response to their parents' remarks or their behavior, although the remark may have been inadvertent. This trend is inevitable and can only be discovered through open communication.
Attachment is a dependent behavior that is biologically necessary for a toddler or young child. However, if parents cannot let go of their maturing child and give him autonomy, they interfere with his independence. The child becomes insecure and does not trust his inner resources to cope with life like an adult. An example of such a situation: the mother of a university student tells her every day how to dress and what to do during the day. Maternal intervention and dependence on her mother make her daughter distrust her own opinions and feelings. However, reliable parents know when to give the child independence and when to pull the reins, and help the child develop a sense of independence.
To understand the impact you have on your child, it is first important to understand how you feel about yourself, what kind of self-criticism you carry, and the positive feelings about yourself that flow from you into your child in daily interaction with him.
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The influence of the family on the formation of a child's personality cannot be overestimated. The most important life lessons a person learns in his own family. It would be completely unfair to belittle its significance and necessity. The influence of the family on the development of the individual is enormous. From what the father and mother teach their child, his future fate, his role in society depends. Without the necessary skills, a person cannot count on successful promotion, will not be able to build harmonious relationships with his soulmate. Consider the role of parents in shaping the personality of the child. What effect do they have on him? What should you pay special attention to when raising a son or daughter?
Relationship experience
In any case, the child in the family gets the experience of relationships. He does not live in isolation, but from early childhood he has the opportunity to observe how adults interact with people around him, and tries to learn from this experience. It is laid automatically, without any effort. Unbeknownst to himself, a small person discovers for himself a whole world of feelings and moods that reign in society. The desire to imitate adults is dictated by the natural desire to be like them. Usually the boy closely follows the behavior of his own father and tries to copy him. The girl, on the other hand, unconsciously reproduces the behavior of her mother. This behavior is completely natural and speaks of normal development.
Of course adults make mistakes too. Sometimes they do not notice that children learn negative lessons as well. The influence of family relations on the upbringing of a preschooler is especially great. Personal development is impossible without a living demonstrative example. The child notices even the smallest details of the parents' relationship, although in most cases he does not say them out loud. Father and mother need to be extremely careful not to set a bad example. Very often, parents make such mistakes, for which they are later ashamed. The experience of relationships is laid in childhood and remains with a person for life. The influence of parents on the formation of family values is enormous. As a rule, a person in adulthood unconsciously copies the behavior of his parents, their manner of communication, etc.
Self-development
The formation of a child's personality in a family is not an easy task. Sometimes you need to make a lot of effort and patience in order to achieve a certain result. The family as a social institution for the formation of personality is of great importance. Only in the family can a person develop the skills necessary for later life. Acquiring the skills of self-development, the child develops fully, without delving into strong feelings and self-accusation. If parents are engaged in spiritual practice or simply work on themselves in a different way, then the son or daughter has good chances to become a truly successful person in life. Personal development always occurs gradually, under the influence of many factors.
Overcoming difficulties
The role of the family in the development of the child's personality is extremely valuable. The ability to overcome significant obstacles is very important in order to feel comfortable. The more a person works on himself in this direction, the easier it becomes for him to overcome the accompanying fears, doubts and insecurities. Overcoming the difficulties and obstacles that are encountered on the way, a person necessarily becomes stronger. He finds in himself additional resources to achieve. To learn how to cope with difficulties, you need to cultivate the necessary skills. It becomes easier for someone to enlist the support of loved ones than to act on their own. However, the formation of a strong personality occurs when a person has to overcome many obstacles. When there is nowhere to retreat, a person begins to act more actively and productively than having a certain amount of time left.
Character
The upbringing of a child's character also takes place in the family. Parents strongly influence the formation of both positive and negative qualities of their child. Father and mother set such an example that can become a source of inspiration for a son or daughter, become a kind of guide for them for many years to come. Part of the character is individual for each person, but a lot of what society lays down. The family has a direct impact on the character of a small person. The influence of the family on the formation of the personality of the child cannot be ignored even in the case when the parents could not teach their child anything good. Such a person will still experience the negative influence of the environment in which he grew up, no matter how hard he tries to deny this fact. Even involuntarily, a person begins to reproduce the experience of his family in the future. The character of a man will be what he has been allowed to develop. Personal development is a deeply individual process. It cannot be predicted in advance. It is impossible to predict what will be the character of an adult, looking at a small child. The role of family education in the formation of personality is incredibly significant.
social skills
The ability to communicate is incredibly important in life. Without this skill, it is impossible to build any kind of satisfactory relationship and be happy. The family as a social institution for the formation of personality creates the conditions for the all-round development of the individual. If a person did not have such support from close people, he would not be able to systematically move forward, be confident in his future.
The acquisition of social skills also occurs in the family. It is in the environment of close people that each child learns to communicate, build individual relationships. The social skills acquired in the family will definitely come in handy later in life. As the child was treated in the family, so he will then treat himself and expect the same from communicating with others.
The development and socialization of the personality in the family leaves a serious imprint on the person. As he is raised by his father and mother, so he lives in the future. Even if an individual verbally denies the influence of parents on his life, he is more susceptible to it. No matter how much a person wants to isolate himself from his family, he will not be able to do it. Most people simply do not notice how they copy the habits of people who are related by blood, how they reproduce similar situations, how they form identical events. Many people tend, one way or another, to complain about life. But not everyone finds the strength to engage in self-improvement.
Work on yourself
Each person also learns to improve his skills in the family. It is impossible to imagine an individual who would not absorb the behavior of both parents. The influence of the family on the formation of a child's personality is, in fact, enormous. It is from their immediate environment that people endure the ability to communicate, trust each other, and build personal relationships.
Working on yourself is an essential step in building strong and trusting relationships. Usually parents teach this to their children, consciously or not passing these skills on to them. The functions of the family are quite numerous. The formation of attachment, trust occurs at a subconscious level. A person sometimes does not even think about it, he simply lives on a whim, obeying the guidance of inner strength.
The development of a child's personality is influenced not so much by how others treat him, but by what his own parents taught him. It is next to loved ones that the majority go through their individual karmic lessons. If every person really worked on himself, then the world would in many ways become kinder and more beautiful. The more a person is open to communication with others, the happier she feels. The role of the family in shaping the spiritual and moral personality is extremely high.
Unfortunately, at present, not all families can boast that both parents take part in raising a child. Often a situation arises when a child is raised by one mother, and the father is not even present in the field of view of the son or daughter. Even if dad sometimes meets with his offspring, but does not live in the same apartment, we can talk about an incomplete family. Such a situation cannot but depress and not sadden.
Another thing is that in our time, many people do not consider this situation a problem. Very often, children grow up surrounded by the attention of their mothers and grandmothers, without experiencing for themselves what a father's care is. What is the impact of an incomplete family on the development of a child? Scientists argue on this issue, their opinions differ. In most cases, the dominant idea is that the absence of a second parent negatively affects the child's psyche, affects personal development, and prevents the formation of a trusting attitude towards the world. And it's hard to disagree with that!
An incomplete family in any case leaves a powerful imprint of inferiority on the individual. It is not necessary that some negative trait develop in a person. Only he will always feel some loss, self-doubt, partly rejected and depressed. After all, the child does not understand why his family is different from others, what he did wrong, often feels that he seems to be worse than the rest. Such a person needs support. Of course, in our time, no one is surprised by single-parent families, but they still represent, in a sense, a sad sight. And it is very difficult to explain to a child, especially a teenager, why he lives only with his mother. In any case, there is some impact on the psyche, on the ability to perceive the surrounding reality. The role of the family in shaping the personality of the child is truly enormous.
Honesty and Integrity
These two components are inextricably linked with each other. The acquisition of these character traits, no doubt, occurs in the family. A person simply could not develop them in himself on his own, or experiencing negative manifestations. Relationships in the parental family always become a role model. Even if everything does not go as we would like, the child perceives them as normal, ideal for him.
The family as a factor in the formation of a child's personality undoubtedly has a strong influence on the individual. You could even say that it is the determining factor to which all others are subject. The more decent and sincere relations in the parental family are, the easier it will be for the child to build his own family in the future. Why is this happening? Just a person from childhood learns to trust, build relationships on noble feelings, take care of loved ones.
Honesty and decency are the components necessary for the development of a happy personality. When a child grows up in a prosperous family, he begins to perceive joy and happiness from a young age as integral attributes of a normal life. He does not consider them an exception or something that must be fought for with all his might. In the family, he receives the skill of successfully overcoming all sorts of difficulties. This is a successful experience that is worth wishing for everyone.
Self confidence
It turns out that even such personal characteristics are laid down in the family! Many people argue about this, but in the end they agree that without the support of the closest people, it is hardly possible to achieve anything truly significant in life. In fact, it is impossible to imagine a successful person without a strong and friendly family. If he does not have this, it means that the acquired well-being at some point can be seriously shaken. The more confident a person feels among his closest relatives and soulmate, the more chances he has to realize his potential.
Self-confidence is an essential component of a happy and self-sufficient life. However, most people can not boast of unshakable self-confidence. Someone doubts about their talents and capabilities, others do not find sufficient grounds to simply start acting. Sometimes too much time passes in doubt and anxiety. If every person could realize their enduring value, the world would change. This is how education affects the formation of personality.
Personal beliefs
They are also formed in the family. It is difficult to imagine a person who does not focus on the opinion of his immediate environment. When an individual lives under the same roof with his relatives, he becomes to some extent dependent on their opinion. A person is emotionally influenced from outside. Personal beliefs do not arise from nowhere, they are formed in the family environment. As a rule, parents pass on their personal views to their children. That is why in many cases children tend to rely on the opinion of their parents: they look for support and support in them. Their outlook on life becomes a personal conviction.
moral values
These are categories that are of great importance in the eyes of the public. Moral attitudes sometimes have a significant impact on people. People in the most difficult life situations reflect on how they should act, obeying the voice of conscience. In many cases, they manage to reach the correct answer inside their soul, find the golden mean.
As a rule, life forces us to make ambiguous and difficult decisions that control a person. Thoughtful decisions do not always come from the heart, but they are guided by the voice of conscience. In some cases, a person is forced to give up his own interests for the sake of happiness and well-being of loved ones. Moral values are brought up in the family. The way parents treated the concepts of duty, responsibility, morality undoubtedly affects children. If a child grew up in love, care, he was taught to be patient with others, then in later life he himself will be based on the same concepts. Moral values are sometimes too strong to be defeated by the mind alone.
Spiritual formation
Thus, the influence of the family on the formation of the personality of the child is enormous. A small person completely absorbs the values of the environment in which he is most of the time. Moral attitudes and opinions are of great importance here. The more attention is paid to the child, the happier and more self-sufficient he will grow up.
