What if the child does not want to study? Useful advice from a psychologist. I have a lazy child - what should I do? Psychologist's advice

Hello dear friends and readers! Today I would like to talk about children's laziness. What to do if the child is lazy? What are the reasons for this.

Very often, you can hear complaints from parents that the son (or daughter) does not want to do anything, he is completely lazy. Many kids tend to be lazy. Not everyone immediately runs to fulfill the instructions or request of their parents, many are too lazy to do their homework, do not want to help around the house.

By and large, everyone has periods when they don’t want to do anything. But adults are condescending to their laziness, but they scold the crumbs and "saw" for it. Before throwing out your negative emotions, understand the reasons.

Why are kids lazy

What are the reasons why children are lazy?

Here are the main ones:

1. Suppression of the initiative.

Often, when a child is still small and wants to help mom or dad, parents say: “Don’t interfere, I’ll do it myself (myself) faster”, “Only spread dirt”, “Don’t get in the way”, “You are still small” and similar phrases .
And when the baby grows up, he no longer wants to help himself, since before he was forbidden.

2. Lack of motivation.

If a child is forced to do something that he does not like very much, without being interested in anything, he will not have a desire to work.

3. A good example of parents.

Children are known to copy their parents. For example, mom asks dad to nail a shelf for several hours in a row (or even days), but he cannot tear himself away from the computer or from the TV while lying on the couch. The child understands that if dad (or mom) is lazy, why can't I do the same.

4. Overprotection.

Sometimes parents are too protective of their child, doing everything for him, even if he can easily cope on his own. Not giving any instructions. The child gets used to this, and in the future it will be difficult to ask him to do something.

5. Lack of self-confidence.

This can happen in a baby when parents often criticize, saying that he does not succeed.

6. The child expects an assessment or reward for his work.

If he does not receive this, then he does not consider it necessary to strain.

7. Excessive workload of the child.

This happens when, in addition to school lessons, the baby is taken to several sections and circles at once, he gets very tired physically and psychologically. At some point, apathy sets in, he does not want to do anything.

8. Temperament.

If the child is phlegmatic, then he is very slow, “swings” for a long time. He needs time to get ready for work. This character trait is often mistaken for laziness by adults.

9. When it seems to the baby that the task assigned to him is difficult or very difficult.

What to do if the child is lazy

Having dealt with the cause of laziness, parents must choose the right method in which direction to act.

♦ Set the right example, children are our reflection.

♦ Encourage the child's initiative, rejoice that he offers to help, praise for any little thing.

♦ Motivation.

When the baby is interested in doing something, he does not even need to be asked about it. Therefore, try to interest, explain what he will get in the end if he is not lazy.

How to motivate your child to study.

♦ Creative approach.

Sometimes a boring activity can be turned into an exciting game or competition. For example, to collect toys in a race or someone else. Who will weave the bed cleaner or clean the room better.

♦ Segregation of duties.

Sometimes certain household duties can be assigned to children, of course, taking into account age characteristics.

♦ Divide the work into small parts.

It will be easier for a child to psychologically start doing something when the entire labor process is divided into stages. For example, you dismantled one box with toys, take a rest, then you will continue. I wrote the letters in the copybook, take a break.

♦ Teach proper daily routine.

Do not try to occupy your son (or daughter) with some useful work every free minute. He should have enough free time for games, rest and walks.

♦ In some cases, you can let your child suffer because of his laziness.

To do this, apply the method of natural consequences. Of course, so that the consequences are not dangerous to health and life.
For example, he did not make crafts for the competition, did not receive praise, a prize or a diploma, like other children. I didn’t learn a poem or didn’t do my homework, I got a bad mark and a remark from the teacher, I didn’t remove magazines from the balcony, they got wet in the rain and the like.

♦ Explain to your child that relaxing with a sense of accomplishment is much more enjoyable than constantly putting off work that you still have to do.

Repeat the proverb: "Do the job, walk boldly."

♦ And don't tell the kid that he's lazy, don't punish him. This will only make the situation worse.

I hope now you can figure out the reasons and decide for yourself what to do if the child is lazy.

I wish that you never encounter such a problem, and that the children are hardworking and efficient.

The child is lazy

April 26, 2018 - One Comment

Wherever you happen to communicate with parents, grandparents, you can increasingly hear conversations and complaints that the child is lazy. Don't force me to do anything useful. The child is too lazy to help his mother around the house, he is too lazy to go to additional education circles, the child is too lazy to study.

Grandmothers shrug their hands - where is it seen that a child, the very embodiment of curiosity in his knowledge of the world, gushing with energy, suddenly became a hopeless lazy person? Examples about hard-working neighbors or classmates do not help. There are no persuasions or punishments. What should desperate parents do if their child is lazy?

The nature of childish laziness

Laziness is a natural component of the human psyche, part of our nature, the desire for a static state. But a child cannot be lazy, because his psyche is still being formed and developed. It is dominated by the desire for life, it has a lot of energy. However, we see that the child is lazy and does not want to do anything.

More precisely, it is we adults who perceive his behavior as childish laziness, but, in fact, the reason lies in a completely different thing.

When do we conclude that a child is lazy? When a child refuses to comply with our demands: attend a circle that we think is necessary, immediately leave our activities and switch to an activity that seems to us more important, and so on. The child protests, he does not agree and prefers to do nothing.

And we believe that our child is lazy without understanding the reasons.

Different children - different reasons for laziness

System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan shows that children are initially born with different psychological properties and sets of desires. They can match the properties of their parents, or they can be completely opposite. We evaluate others through the perception of ourselves, so we can unconsciously perceive the owner of properties that are different from ours as wrong, try to remake and retrain him. Let's look at examples of why children are lazy.

For example, a child may be the owner of a skin vector, the properties of which are speed, ambition, flexibility, frugality, striving for material gain. The novelty factor brings him pleasure, and sitting still and doing scrupulous, painstaking work is stressful for him. Therefore, the child will allegedly be lazy, not wanting to attend a needlework circle, because this is contrary to his natural desires.

In addition, such a child is not initially aimed at learning. He will not be able to sit motionless over textbooks for hours. If forced, he starts to be lazy to learn. Maintaining order and cleanliness in the room does not matter much to him, so he will always clean up superficially. And it seems to parents that he is lazy, and they ask themselves the question - what to do if the child is lazy?

If the mother of such a child has an anal vector, the properties of which are aimed at quality, and the value is education, she can make him sit still with special zeal, do the same thing for a long time in pursuit of perfection. Or to seek from him to maintain perfect cleanliness.

As a result, a stable attitude is formed in the skin child that it is useless to make efforts, since it will not bring any pleasure. He has to do something that is completely opposite to his properties. However, he does not receive anything for it. His desire is to be faster, higher, stronger, and not to bring things to detailed perfection. Speed, not perseverance. And very soon he loses the desire to do something that does not bring any benefit. Already from childhood, an unconscious skill is formed to be lazy to study or help mom, without any ability to overcome this laziness.

Why are kids lazy? Because any effort is felt as futile. And if the mother constantly insists that he is armless or stupid, incapable of anything, an unsuccessful life scenario is formed in the skin child.

Different properties of children and parents

It happens the other way around: the mother has a skin vector, and the child has an anal vector. And when he does everything slowly, carefully, strives to do everything with the highest quality and in the best possible way, buying up on the manifestation of love, his mother may simply not praise him for his efforts. But it is praise that is the stimulus to action in the anal vector.

In addition, a skin mother can not let such a child finish things, push, rush, demand quick switching, which she herself has. Mom will assume that her child is lazy. As a result, the child loses all incentive to act, and a heavy resentment against the mother is brewing in the soul. A state of stupor, viscosity of thinking, pathological obstinacy is formed.

And then it is already very difficult to force such a child to do anything, and his life turns into continuous resistance. The mother will demand from him to perform some actions, she will force him to do his homework, and he will do the opposite - be lazy to study and not fulfill the requirements.

Or, out of a sense of protest, he will not do anything at all, which may look like childish laziness. In adulthood, such a person can become a pathological debater, stubborn, unwilling to do anything and protesting any requests.

Laziness as a manifestation of infantilism

But it may also be that laziness is a manifestation of infantilism. When a child is used to getting everything from his parents and does not have the ability to achieve goals through his efforts and work.

This happens if the parents do not teach him independence, if any initiative and manifestation of himself on the part of the child is not encouraged, but, on the contrary, is suppressed. Instead of allowing the child to be independent, parents continue to do everything for him, take responsibility and solve his problems, which he must learn to solve for himself. What is left for the child? At first - to be lazy to study. Further more.

Especially often such a scenario of relationships with children is manifested by the anal-visual mother in a state of anxiety. Being afraid for the child, experiencing constant anxiety for him, she shows overprotection, because of which the child does not develop the vital skills of adaptation in society. That is, the mother involuntarily pushes the child to be lazy. And then she herself asks the question - what to do if the child is lazy.

The skin mother can also behave in a similar way, but already out of impulses for control and limitation. This happens if its properties do not have sufficient implementation in society. And then she begins to control the child in everything, forbids him everything, does not allow him to take a step, literally the soul of his restrictions.

Why are children passive and lazy?

The result for the child in both cases will be the inability to take responsibility, to achieve the desired. Due to the fact that everyone does and decides for him that it is impossible or unnecessary to do anything himself, the child unconsciously forms the habit of receiving everything directly from his parents, and then from other people. Formed in childhood, laziness remains with a person as a way of life. He does not know how to live differently.

In adulthood, unconsciously, he will look for those who will do everything for him, will patronize him. Or he will stay with his parents, continuing to live carefree and without making any effort, only expecting that everything will be done for him. Moreover, even if he understands that this is not good, he will still not be able to do anything, since the formed habits and scenarios act unconsciously.

And from the outside it may look like childish and teenage laziness and unwillingness to do something in principle. In fact, the child simply does not have the skill to realize his desires on his own and the ability to take responsibility. That's why kids are lazy.

It is possible to overcome laziness

Parents can solve the problem that the child is lazy. More than a thousand positive reviews were written about this by parents who were faced with the fact that the child was too lazy to study, help around the house, and engage in children's circles:

“... Now I am writing these lines, and tears well up in my eyes. Why? Because it's a pity that I didn't get acquainted with the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan earlier, when my son was at least five years old. Then I would know that children with a sound vector should not be made into athletes, but rather taken to a music school. Then I would understand that haste is contraindicated for the anal baby, it cannot be urged and rushed.

I wouldn't tease him for some obscure spelling errors, but I would be worried, as this is one of the signs of dyslexia that happens in sound children. Moreover, innocent, as it seemed to me, jokes about mistakes hurt his skin vector and nurture in him a sense of insecurity. I would understand why the anal baby is often offended and remembers all the insults for a long time. I would not say to my visual child: “Dry your tears, be a real man! Why are you crying like a girl? And I would NEVER let him go hunting with his dad, where he saw live foxes being shot. And my son's eyesight would not deteriorate. It's sad to realize all this.

I am very jealous of today's parents who will receive knowledge of the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan and will be able to avoid tragic mistakes in raising their children ... "

If your child is lazy and you still don't know why children are lazy; if you are responsible parents, grandparents who love their children and grandchildren; if you want your children to grow up to be happy and self-sufficient people, you should learn how to gently and carefully raise your unique baby. Come to Yuri Burlan's free online training "Systemic Vector Psychology". Registration via link.

Editor Yanina Burakova

Proofreader Maria Klimnyuk

The article was written using the materials of Yuri Burlan's online training "System-Vector Psychology"

The responsibility for the upbringing of children rests entirely with the parents. So in no case should you tell your child that he is lazy. After all, by labeling him, you can reinforce an accidental manifestation of laziness and only exacerbate the problem.

I have a lazy child! He does not want to do anything and he is not interested in anything! Unfortunately, these words can often be heard from modern parents. But let's look into this problem together. Do lazy kids really exist, or is it all the fault of their weak-willed parents?

Psychologist's advice for parents who think they have a lazy child

• Tips for parents who think they have a lazy child

The fact is that some parents are simply not able to instill in their kids the willpower necessary to fulfill even the simplest duties. Below you will find advice from a psychologist on how you can solve this problem.

Lazy child: what is the reason?

The dictionary definition of the adjective "lazy" is idle, unwilling to work. So we call people who do not want to fulfill their duties. After all, this implies some effort and sacrifice on their part. Instead, they prefer to do something enjoyable and exciting.

Unfortunately, parents often behave inconsistently.. If you cannot get your child to perform elementary duties, but at the same time you allow, for example, to watch TV - do not be surprised why you have a lazy child growing up.

Before labeling a child, consider whether you are always doing the right thing as a parent. There are 2 extremes here:

• The first type of parent allows children to do whatever they want.
• The second one, on the other hand, is more demanding.

As you probably know, any extremes are harmful, you should stick to the golden mean. Our advice will help you with this.

Understand the reason for this behavior

If you notice that your baby has become lazy more than usual and this worries you, you need to establish the cause. Remember that laziness and lethargy are not at all synonymous with low intelligence. These things are not related at all.

So, first of all, you need to understand the causes of laziness. They may be of a medical nature, or they may be related to the family or society. Only then can you proceed directly to correcting the situation.

For example, if the reason lies in low motivation, it is important to say encouraging words every time the child completes at least some task. And it does not matter at all whether you will be pleased with the result. Such a positive incentive is necessary in order for him to enthusiastically take on new tasks and complete them.

Behavior Correction

If you calmly think about the reasons for the appearance of laziness, then most likely you will come to the conclusion that you yourself allowed it. This type of behavior is a direct consequence of overprotection.

Therefore, it is worth changing the tactics of education. Otherwise, laziness will take root firmly and the child will grow up to be a lazy adult. Ideally, you should look for associates in this difficult matter in order to work together to find a solution to the problem.

For example, it will be useful to refer to the successful experience of other families, to read literature on this topic. In the end, seek help from a family psychologist.

Be an example for a child

Any psychologist will tell you that parents are the main role model of behavior for their children. So you have a huge responsibility to serve as a living example of right behavior for them. After all, if you yourself cannot show how important commitment and discipline are, then what can we say about children.

At first, the kids will simply repeat after you, and then they will awaken their own interest in a variety of activities and overcoming difficulties. So, slowly, there will simply be no place left for laziness in their lives.

Encourage

If a child deserves an award, he should receive it. A little tip: try to make it useful and really necessary things for him. Otherwise, the child will begin to perceive you as a source of "easy money".

In psychology, this is called “positive reinforcement.” If you are consistent, then sooner or later even the laziest child will clearly understand: in order to get something, you first need to work hard.

Establish clear rules and deadlines for completing assignments

This is really very important. If you randomly distribute tasks and don’t remember what you were instructed to do, it will be very easy for the child to “get out” of responsibility. After all, as we have said, lazy child does not mean stupid. On the contrary, he will go to all sorts of tricks, just to confuse his parents and, as a result, continue to do nothing.

On the other hand, often such children begin to try to pity their parents so that they do everything for them. Therefore, it is important to control the deadlines for completing tasks. In other words, if you said to put the toys away before dinner, then there simply cannot be any excuse.

And, finally, it is worth recalling once again that parents are fully responsible for the behavior of their children. There are no lazy children, only spineless inconsistent parents. So, if you want your child to grow up to be purposeful and hardworking, you should start with yourself!published .

P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness - together we change the world! © econet

What is Laziness or Why is a child lazy; And how to help him get rid of this vice?

Aleksandrova T. V., educational psychologist of the PPMS-Center of the Vasileostrovsky district
Valainis N. A., educational psychologist of the PPMS-Center of the Vasileostrovsky district

Complaints about children's laziness are among the most frequent with which worried parents turn to psychologists for advice.

How often do we say to our child: "Laziness was born before you." Which of us is not familiar with the situation when our child does everything under duress? “Go wash the dishes!”, “Make the bed”, “Wipe the dust off the furniture”, “How much can you repeat: you need to wash the floors every day”, etc.

Our child hears these phrases from morning to evening, every day and ... nothing happens. He listens every day, agrees and is lazy.

As a rule, laziness in a child is discovered only when he begins to go to school. Remember your baby's early childhood: how hard he learned to walk, talk, pester you with questions about everything in the world. And now he can spend several hours assembling, for example, a Lego puzzle toy or playing computer games.

Obviously, laziness has nothing to do with it. The problem is that the child cannot or does not want to do what you consider necessary for a long time and hardworkingly, refuses to do difficult or uninteresting work.

A child who dodges lessons simply does not have his own motivation for this rather laborious process. He sincerely does not know why he himself needs this, and a simple desire to please his parents is clearly not enough. Especially if he is scolded all the time at home and at school.

Thus, laziness is a lack of motivation (lack of desire to work, to do something), i.e. goals initially did not lie in the plane of the interests of the child. Thus, the child did not accept for himself those goals that adults imposed on him, or even if he chose them himself.

Of course, all children are different. Among them there are children who lack the abilities necessary for studying at a gymnasium, or who have insufficiently developed abilities. There are children who find it difficult to study in groups, with a large number of students with predominantly frontal learning methods. There are children who, due to their age and mental characteristics, cannot master the program material. Finally, there are other children who study poorly only because of laziness, lack of will. We most often scold and criticize such children, however, forgetting that the laziness of a student is not born from scratch.

The laziness of any person, including a child, has its own reasons and is not only the fault, but also the misfortune of the child. A trouble in which he often needs help.

An adult (parent, educator, teacher) should be well aware that assistance includes several stages:

The first stage is to establish the reasons for the laziness of a particular child.

Causes of laziness	Manifestations
Fatigue	Many of the child's ideas would have been realized and undertakings completed if it were not for the fatigue and lack of strength that constantly haunt him.
No sense of work	Over the years, in an adult, this can carry a broader interpretation: the lack of meaning in life, and therefore the meaning of achieving something, striving for something and bringing it to the end.
Lack of ability to work	In this case, we are talking about a number of skills, primarily intellectual, which does not allow the child to study normally.
Overwork	Many educational tasks are difficult for a child due to inconsistency with his age and psychological characteristics and therefore are incommensurable with his capabilities. That is why putting before a child impossible tasks for him means knowingly dooming him to failure.
Lack of interest in work	Such children cannot do something without pleasure, they cannot endure tension, discomfort for a long time.
Laziness as a manifestation of fear	It seems that the child is lazy, but in fact he is afraid of a low assessment of the results of his work by others or his own low assessment. Fear of upcoming efforts - physical, mental or spiritual, with a high level of claims can result in the rejection of any work at all
Features of the state of mind	In the life of every person, including a child, there can be a hole into which energy is wasted. It can be conflict, dissatisfaction, trauma, jealousy, envy, lies...
Lack of self-confidence	In everything that the child undertakes, he foresees failure, on every path the obstacles seem insurmountable to him, therefore he easily retreats, goes out of the way.
Asthenic personality type	Weak sense of life. Inside such a person, something incessantly resists every duty, every “need”
hedonic laziness	The desire for idleness extends in such a person to any work.

The second stage is the creation by adults of conditions that encourage the child to engage in the development of strong-willed efforts and the formation of his desire and need to do this.

To do this, you need to show the child the problem that he has, convince him of the need to deal with it and the possibility of solving it. Figuratively speaking, it is necessary that the horse not only be brought to the water, but also want to drink it.

In this work, it is important to strike a balance between critical remarks and supporting the child's confidence in the success of his efforts with praise and moral support.

The third stage - this stage of work is associated with the formation of volitional habits, volitional abilities in the child. At the same time, it should be noted that many of the listed causes of laziness themselves dictate the appropriate ways to overcome it. Of course, if laziness is associated with a child's lack of the necessary intellectual skills, then they must be developed.

If the unwillingness to complete educational tasks is dictated by their inconsistency with the real abilities of the child, then such tasks need to be reviewed, etc.

Change rules for adults:

1. Warmly rejoice at the child's first efforts to get down to business. Help to succeed. And when this happens at last - an interesting essay, a difficult task solved, a beautiful craft, then the child himself will receive visual confirmation of his strengths. He will no longer need to defend himself with laziness. It is much more interesting to assert oneself with the help of a case.
2. An interesting way of life can also become a remedy for laziness: theater, sports, hiking, games with the whole family. When a child's life and school life is filled with things they love, it's much easier to put up with having to do the lessons they hate or clean their room.
3. Iron patience and self-discipline are the foundation of the basics, especially for adults.

Nothing can be done, education is a laborious and painstaking task. Sometimes there are miracle children - it seems that from the cradle they become organized, independent, hardworking.

If your child does not have these virtues, then he just has other virtues.

Of course, you will not turn him into a model of punctuality and diligence, but you can quite make habitual qualities for him that nature has not endowed him with.

Studying drives many into despondency, but every year the problem of reluctance to attend school becomes more and more aggravated. Even first-graders, who 10 years ago were waiting for the lessons to begin, today completely refuse to attend school. In the middle classes, students go to classes without enthusiasm, and high school students are horrified by the word USE. Every child, as they grow up, has their own reasons for not liking school. Ways to overcome this problem are different and depend on age, character, and some other features, which we will discuss in the article.

Because of what this happens, as well as consultations of psychologists, read in this material.

origins unwillingness to learn

Psychologists advise first to figure out why the child does not want to study, and then only act. It is necessary to observe the student and his behavior, to discuss the situation in a warm and friendly manner. Accusations and swearing will not help here - adults need to be clearly aware that their goal is to motivate the child to study actively, and not throw out their righteous anger. Therefore, first we understand the origins of a negative attitude towards learning, and only then we look for ways to solve the difficulties that have arisen.

What to do if the child does not want to go to school

Causes, :

1. Peculiarities of children's temperament.
2. Soreness.
3. Hyperactivity.
4. Lack of motivation.
5. Difficulties in communicating with other students or teachers, conflicts.
6. Family problems.
7. Diffidence.
8. Insufficient level of responsibility.
9. Smart but lazy at the same time.
10. Strong attachment to entertainment, gadgets, games.

What to do ,

To finallyunderstand the origins of the lack of desire to learn, consider each of the reasons in more detail and find ways to overcome this problem. Remember that only constructive methods of overcoming difficulties with study can help - scolding children is useless.

children do not want to go to school due to lack of motivation

1 reason is temperament

Psychologists have long distinguished 4 types of temperament:

1. Choleric - active, intolerant and nervous, easily excitable.
2. Sanguine is sociable and lively, but at the same time assiduous and efficient.
3. Phlegmatic - balanced and calm, easily copes with any difficulties.
4. Melancholic - vulnerable and touchy children, prone to stress and easily get tired.

Of these four children's types of temperament, learning is most difficult for melancholic and choleric people, since it is these guys who are the most emotional. The easiest way to gain knowledge is given to sanguine and phlegmatic people. If schoolchildren with a strong nervous system have difficulties with their studies, then we must continue to look for the root of the problem.

What to do , if the child does not want to study, having a choleric or melancholic temperament:

• Melancholy.

Melancholy children study much harder than any other children. They take the slightest setbacks or conflicts with teachers and fellow practitioners to heart. Melancholic people get tired very quickly, both physically and mentally.

Such a child needs to take breaks to rest and restore the body and psyche. Try to match the pace of study and homework so that the load increases gradually. So your young student will get used to large volumes of tasks more easily and his self-esteem will grow, which is important for melancholic children.

• Cholerics.

It would seem that choleric people are very different from guys with a melancholic temperament. But they both have learning difficulties. In the case of choleric children, the difficulty lies in the lack of patience and the rapid fading of interest. The parents of such a student face a difficult task - to learn how to dose his classes in such a way as to constantly maintain interest in learning. Vary tasks, for example, 30 minutes of reading homework, 30 minutes of math. Let your choleric person rest, let him play or even watch TV between homework assignments.

the child does not want to study - it is worth discussing this problem

2 reason, - soreness

Children who have some kind of health problems often miss classes. Because of this, many topics remain misunderstood, and catching up on missed material is not so easy. In addition, a student may begin to cheat and say that he allegedly has something in pain in order to miss classes again. Teachers often go to meet such students and give positive marks without relevant knowledge.

Such children should be gently attracted to study, not scolded, no doubt that they really feel bad.

3 reason, – hyperactivity

Syndrome of motor activity and lack of attention (ADHD) or hyperactivity is a disease of the nervous system that needs to be corrected by a neurologist. This does not mean that students with hyperactivity and ADHD should not attend a comprehensive school - it is possible and necessary, because their intelligence is not affected.

child does not want to study

4 reason, - lack of motivationto knowledge

The presentation of educational material by different teachers can differ markedly. Some teacher can interest any student in his subject, and in the lessons of another teacher, you want to yawn.

In this case, it is necessary to interest the student, explain why this or that subject is necessary and how this or that subject can be useful. Help your offspring understand what he wants to be after graduation and what to do, then the motivation and interest in learning will appear by itself.

5th reason - conflict situations

Difficulties in communicating with other students, a negative attitude towards some teachers happens very often. MaleIt is still difficult for a new person to focus on the main thing - studying, instead of solving and experiencing conflicts. Problems in communication with other students or even with teachers take all the time and effort.

Parents in such a situation should help to improve school relations, and to do this, find out the cause of the conflicts. Only by solving the problem with the interpersonal relationships of your child, you can move on to the main thing - to interest in learning.

Schoolchildren do not yet know how to separate the personality of the teacher and the subject itself. If the teacher did not find an approach to the students of the class, then no one likes to teach lessons in this subject. As in the case of a lack of motivation for learning, psychologists advise trying to interest the student, explaining how interesting and necessary this subject is. It is easier to do this closer to graduation classes - by explaining to your child the need to receive a quality education and having completed career guidance at school.

6 reason, - difficulties in the family

Psychologists believe that the negative in the family negatively affects the development of any little person. Both health and psyche with mental activity suffer.

If there is discord in the family, try not to interfere with your offspring in negative situations, protect him from quarrels and showdowns between spouses.

the child does not want to study - conflicts

7 reason, - diffidence

This is one of the most common reasons. Life forces parents to set global and difficult goals for their child. And when the baby does not succeed, mom and dad reproach him for this, showing their disappointment in him. Almost every parent said to their children such words as: “And the son of aunt-Masha is a medalist, and you are my three-year-old!”, “Neighbor Sveta does an excellent job of studying, and goes to ballet, but you can’t even do simple things!” .

Parents in this way just want to spur their offspring to conquer new heights, but the effect is the opposite. The schoolboy thinks that he can’t keep up with the medalist ballerina, which means there’s nothing to try.

8 reason, – insufficient level of responsibility

From early childhood, parents take care of the baby, control his every action - and this is right at an early stage of development. But the older the child becomes, the more he needs to be given freedom and the opportunity to make decisions independently.

If mom or dad collects a schoolbag for a student, completely controls the daily routine and homework, this is not right. The son or daughter of such parents does not learn to make decisions on their own, always relying on someone else. Why think to decide everything on his own, if his parents will do it for him?

Parental control is necessary, but up to a certain limit. If you go too far, then instead of a responsible, motivated student, there is a high risk of getting a lazy person without initiative.

Reason 9 - smart but lazy

There are children who find learning very easy. It is enough for them to flip through the textbook to understand the subject. But the catch is that such a student becomes uninteresting in listening to the teacher and completing assignments. As a result, the grades leave much to be desired, and in the worst case, the student misses new topics, the material on which is then difficult to understand on his own.

10 reason, – addiction to games, entertainment, gadgets

All sorts of addictions are the scourge of our time. Available entertainment in the form of a computer and a phone has become too much to avoid this. Yes, school lessons are increasingly becoming associated with computer technology.

In this case, it is necessary to clearly distinguish between the time for study and the time for rest. It is worth concluding an agreement with the student that he will be allowed to play on the computer only after completing his homework.

What to do if the child does not want to study – general recommendations and advice from psychologists depending on the age of the children

why the child does not want to go to elementary school

What to do if the child does not want to study V primary school

The most common reasons why kids refuse to go to elementary school are the reluctance to wake up early, do their homework, fear of a formidable teacher. Also, a new children's team can inspire fear.

• At the very beginning of training, do with the baby as when adapting to kindergarten - put your general photo in his portfolio, allow him to take his favorite toy to play with it during breaks.
• Meet the teacher in advance and watch cartoons and books about the student's daily routine. Let the young student know what awaits him during the lessons.
• Rehearse school preparations and lessons through the game. As tasks for such training, you can give real tasks in copybooks or in the primer. During the game, change roles - let the baby be a teacher, command and draw red paste in the copybook - this will reduce the fear of bad grades and the teacher.
• No need to scold a first grader for bad grades. It is better to network together and try to parse the mistakes, show the correct solutions to the tasks.
• As an encouragement, at the end of the school week, you can go with the student to entertainment events - to the cinema or an entertainment center for kids. In older grades, you can also encourage a student, but for good grades, and not just for attending classes.

What to do if the child does not want to study in middle school

Opinion psychologists about the unwillingness to study children aged nine to twelve years is reduced to the presence of conflict situations with teachers or classmates. At this age, the child is still highly dependent on the opinions of others, but already shows his own "I" and character.

First of all, you need to talk with the student and find out if we are really talking about a conflict situation. Separately, it is worth discussing this situation with the teacher, find out his point of view and get recommendations on how to solve the problem. A teacher can be an excellent assistant in education, because he has a huge practical experience in building relationships with a wide variety of students.

Try to protect your offspring from domestic conflicts. Any person, especially a small one, should have confidence that parents will always understand, help and support, no matter what happens.

Do not forget about rewards for good studies - no one has canceled the carrot and stick method, but very often parents forget about rewards when punishments do not keep you waiting.

Those problems with socialization, which seem ridiculous and stupid to you, are extremely important for young schoolchildren. Parents should in no way mock and devalue the experiences of their child.

What to do if the child does not want to study V adolescence after 12 years

Although in at this age, interpersonal communication problems with peers become most acute, psychologists identify another main reason for the lack of desire to learn - meaningless and uninteresting subjects.

At the age of 13 and up to 17 years, students are determined with a future profession and education. They additionally study in the areas necessary in the future, parents pay for tutors. Therefore, those subjects that will not be useful to them in life and, most importantly, when they enter a secondary or higher educational institution, turn out to be unnecessary and uninteresting.

But at this age it is already possible to explain to children why they need study and non-core subjects. A teenager is able to realize that without a broad outlook, which gives the study of all school subjects, it is difficult to succeed in life. In addition, everything in life can change dramatically several times, and then lessons that are not interesting now will come in handy.

Do not forget about the proper stimulation of interest in learning. Reward your child for good grades - this method works great.

Results

Unfortunately, the modern education system is built in such a way that the main share of the difficulties in learning and overcoming them falls on the shoulders of parents. If not you, then no one will explain to your offspring the need for a decent education. No one but you will be interested in his studies.