What to choose - family or career? A little advice for women. Family or career: what is more important for a woman

Family or career - which is more important? This question is an eternal female problem, because for men everything is much simpler, if a man is successful in the business sphere, he has an opportunity for self-realization and the choice of life partners becomes wider.

For women, it's much more difficult.

Career success does not guarantee them personal happiness.

Many talented women leaders find it difficult to find a life partner. As a result, children are left to their own devices, as their mother spends all her time at work.

From all of the above, does it mean that the whole stake should be placed on the family?

But here, too, many women face disappointment. The feeling of unfulfillment in the majority forms a large inferiority complex, because the social circle of housewives is limited to the family. Being in search for self-realization, a woman surrounds her husband and children with great care, which eventually develops into mega-control, which destroys many marriages.

So what do you prefer, career or family? Maybe try to combine them?

When solving this complex dilemma, thoughts come to mind: you need to do everything in sequence. First a career, and then a family, or vice versa. It would seem that everything is simple and logical, but there are also many pitfalls here.

Career?

Let's try to figure it out and put career first, and then family and children.

Young girls, full of enthusiasm and energy, ready for unexpected actions that often lead to success, are never limited to thoughts that they might fail. They are responsible only for themselves, they are not burdened with children and families, they can devote all their time to work and not worry that later they will have to explain to someone why you were late at work. They do not have to restore themselves after childbirth, because while you give birth and nurse your baby, your knowledge becomes obsolete, your ability to learn is significantly reduced, interesting ideas are thought out and implemented by someone else.

It seems that the advantages of putting a career in the first place are quite significant, but there are also many disadvantages here.

Going deeper into work, many women dull their desire to become a mother. It seems like you want children, but you can’t decide on this act. Once you realize that you are satisfied with your life and do not want to change anything, everything suits you anyway. But what about the maternal instinct?

In many Western countries, women give birth after thirty, as it is considered fashionable. The older a woman is, the more difficult it is for her to get pregnant, according to modern doctors - late birth is a very big risk for both the woman and the child.

Is family more important?

Let's try to formulate the question in a different way, and put the family first, and then the career.

This option is not so common, but it also has many of its positive aspects.

Firstly, there is no complex that you do not have a family.

After all, on a subconscious level, every woman dreams of getting married and having a baby, and if she is deprived of this, then, over the years, she develops a complex that interferes with the further creation of normal relationships with people. You calmly give birth, you don’t worry that there is very little time left and it’s time for you to leave maternity leave, and you give your baby a lot of maternal care and affection, which he needs so much.

If a woman has a successful marriage, then her husbands are very supportive in their endeavors, and sometimes they can even provide seed capital for these endeavors. But even here, not everything is so smooth!

One, probably, of the main questions - when can you take up a career?

When will the child go to kindergarten or grow up to school? When will he go to university? After all, at each of these life stages, it will seem to you that your child is still small and needs maternal support.

As they say in the poems of Eduard Asadov, "... children are always children for their mother, even if they are twenty, even thirty years old ...". Based on such reasoning, then career time may not come. Time does not stand still, and while you give birth, raise a child to your feet, your enthusiasm, knowledge and skill are lost, and many new promising competitors appear on the labor market, and in a few years you may find yourself far out of the business sphere. Also, not every husband wants to support his wife's initiative to make a career, and it is very difficult to choose between a favorite thing and a person dear to you, as well as solving the family or career dilemma.

Combining family and career?

But how to combine family and career? There are a large number of examples in which women successfully fulfill their potential both as business women and as wives and mothers. But how did they do it, and what helped them achieve such results? Firstly, it is the ability to balance between family and career, faith in yourself and in your strengths.

If you want your life to be rich, then you should never choose between a career and a family, but rather try to learn how to combine these two sides of your life!

Increasingly, there are families in which both spouses work. At the same time, the desire to work and rise up the career ladder is not at all due to a lack of material resources. Basically, such a desire is explained by the satisfaction of one's own ambitions and uncertainty about the future.

Previously, women tried to devote all their free time to the family, children and solving everyday problems, but now a woman is trying to reveal her full potential at work. In many couples, the question of the distribution of household responsibilities is very acute. In such a situation, the husband often cannot understand why it is he who cooks dinner today and why the wife, in general, needs to work in a position that takes her a huge amount of time and effort. After all, they can live well on his salary.

Pursuing a career can destroy a family

Whatever the reasons behind such a desire, such a tendency leads to the fact that relationships begin to deteriorate and they have to be “healed”. After all, if both partners are careerists, then conflicts in the family cannot be avoided. In such cases, it is imperative to seek a compromise, otherwise the partners run the risk of completely destroying the relationship. No one argues that after a hard day's work there is absolutely no strength either for a child or for a loved one, for oneself, and then there is no time left. But you need to learn to take care of and keep your relationships, otherwise the situation may come to the point that the relationship will no longer be reanimated.

To begin with, let's figure out how such an active desire to work is expressed.

It is impossible to say unequivocally whether it is bad or good when both spouses work. On the one hand, when the wife ceases to play the role of the guardian of the hearth, the usual way of life collapses. But, if you look from the other side, both working spouses are a guarantee of financial security. None of us is 100% sure of the future. Who said that another default will not occur tomorrow, the company will not go bankrupt, one of the spouses will not be fired from work? We will not consider here the more tragic cases when one of the spouses becomes disabled or dies as a result of an illness, an accident.

It also happens that it is simply unrealistic to live on the salary of one of the spouses, especially if children grow up in the family. In this case, the woman, regardless of her desires, goes to work. After all, it is quite difficult to maintain and raise even one child in our time, what can we say about several kids? How much money is spent on kindergartens, schools, paying for circles, sections, and so on?

Sometimes you can combine work and career

But there is a third reason why a woman goes to work. She was simply tired of feeling dependent on her own husband. Perhaps, looking at most of her friends and acquaintances, who themselves can buy new fur coats or jewelry for themselves and are not afraid that tomorrow their husband will decide to leave in another woman, and they will remain useless and unemployed, the woman also decides to become independent. This not only increases financial opportunities, but also gives self-confidence. In addition, work allows you to reveal your capabilities and make yourself a respected person. Sometimes this is what is lacking in one's own family.

How can you still manage to save a family if you both work?

First, you need to discuss this issue at the family council. Quite often, households do not understand why a woman should go to work, because everything is so good. The reason should be formulated as softly as possible, but voiced in a confident tone. For example: “I am applying for a job because we need to buy a car. Money will be put aside from my salary!” In no case should you humiliate your own husband or tell him that all husbands are able to earn money for family needs. That only in your family everything rests on fragile female shoulders. One such phrase will mark the beginning of long feuds and conflicts.

Don't forget about your children. After all, if parents are not at home for a long time, kids feel abandoned and unnecessary. Arrange for them joint family dinners, evening games or walks. On weekends, you can organize a family shopping trip or a trip to nature, a park, a trip to the cinema, theater or circus. Show in every possible way that children are the most precious thing you have, and that you never forget about them.

If the children continue to feel unhappy, let them meet you after work, unless, of course, the working day ends too late. You will go home together, you can chat and go shopping with your daughter along the way. You can even make a tradition out of it. In this way, you can get closer and make it clear to your baby that work is not a hindrance between you. Let the child be proud of your success at work, and if possible, let him sometimes come to visit you and watch what you are doing.

Or maybe a family?

Also, don't forget about your partner. After all, not only children can feel abandoned. The husband is also a person who needs female affection and attention. Nobody argues that you are very tired after a hard day at work. But it is precisely because of this that you move away from your husband. There is no previous understanding between you, physical contacts are also reduced. Life becomes predictable, as if on schedule. Do not forget to surprise your beloved man and please him. He should not think that there is no more love and passion between you, as before.

Ultimately, a career is not an end to family relationships.

Work can be successfully combined with family responsibilities

Millions of people have somehow managed to cope with the lack of understanding of family members on this issue. Everything can be adjusted and corrected. The main thing is to want it and try, and not think: “Ah, okay. Let everything go on as usual!” Family is the most precious thing you have, you need to take care of it like the apple of your eye. Think about what exactly you yourself are doing wrong, understand your mistakes. Analyze the behavior of your household, think about what they are wrong about.

Look for a compromise that will suit everyone and will be able to solve the problem. Use your wisdom, after all. Think about what you would do if you were not in the situation. Look at it all from the side. Imagine that a friend turned to you for advice, what would you advise her? As a rule, we give valuable advice to others and can easily help them cope with problems, while when we ourselves find ourselves in the same situation, we don’t know what to do at all.

And finally, the most important thing: initially, when choosing a job for yourself, think about whether it will include frequent business trips, overtime work in the evenings and on weekends. You need to immediately find an option that will not become an obstacle for you in your family relationships. Just keep this in mind before submitting your resume for any job.

Based on the results of a sociological study, at the moment a large percentage of people who have been able to make a successful career do not seek to tie themselves to strong marriage ties. In addition, about 60% of business women do not see themselves as expectant mothers or housewives.

So what is more important: a successful career or a happy family life?

In men this issue is resolved without any problems. Representatives of the male half of humanity give career preference and self-development in the chosen field of activity. After all, social stereotypes dictate that it is the man who is the main earner in marriage. growth provides him with an opportunity for self-realization and self-affirmation, and also provides a wide choice of chosen ones for a serious relationship.

woman much more difficult do correct choice, since rapid career growth does not provide her with harmony in her personal life. There is a large number women leaders who cannot decide on the choice of a worthy chosen one, and over time are doomed to complete loneliness.

If a woman chooses a family instead of a career, then in this situation she may also be disappointed.

Often housewives an inferiority complex is developed, and her social circle is limited only to family members. As a result, for self-realization, she surrounds her husband and children with excessive care, which develops into strict control of their actions. After some time, harmonious relationships in the family are destroyed.

Many women believe that achieve harmony in this topical issue is possible only if the sequence of their own actions. First of all, he first achieves success in his career, and only then creates a family, or vice versa. But even in this option there are many pitfalls. Let's take a look at the features of the different career-family choices:

A woman chooses career growth first, and only then seeks to start a family and plans to have children

This option has a number of advantages:

1. Representatives of the younger generation are distinguished by vitality and enthusiasm, which is necessary to create their own career. Women are ready to take risks and implement the most daring projects. At the same time, their actions are aimed only at success. A woman not burdened with family concerns offers interesting ideas and strategies for business development.
2. A woman is responsible only for herself, since she is not burdened with caring for her family and children. She easily agrees to go on a long-term business trip or internship to another city or country.
3. Beginner woman head for successful career advancement, he can work overtime and without a day off. After all, she does not need to pick up children from school or take time off from work in the event of a sudden illness of the baby. At the same time, you do not need to explain to your spouse why she is late at work.
4. All important moments in the life of a business woman occur sequentially. First school, then higher education, and then career. A woman is always up to date with the latest events and maintains the necessary connections for career growth. After all, the birth of a baby is always accompanied by maternity leave, which stops the process of developing one's own career growth.
5. A careerist will be able to invest all resources, including material ones, in the development of her own business. In this situation, she relies only on herself, since she does not need to think about the well-being of the family.

Higher benefits listed are weighty arguments for a woman who plans to realize her own creative potential in her favorite business, and only then start a family. But, given option not is perfect solution for a woman who wants to become not only successful, but also happy.

It should be noted that a complete deepening in any type of activity can dull the desire to become a mother.

Woman constantly delays the moment, motivating her own actions by the fact that she has not yet achieved everything she planned. After a while, she realizes that she is quite happy without children and she no longer wants to change something in her personal life. In addition, a business woman is so accustomed to calm and calm pace of life that a few hours of playing with noisy pedigrees completely eliminate the need for motherhood.

many women hesitant already give birth after 35 years, as the risk of developing genetic abnormalities in the unborn baby increases. If a business woman nevertheless took a chance and became a mother, then a “generational conflict” is likely in the future, due to the presence of a large age difference. As a result, motherhood can only bring disappointment to a business woman.

But do not be upset, as there are always exceptions to the rules. A certain percentage are successful individuals, caring mothers and loving wives.

A woman chooses a family, and only then is she ready to become a careerist

This option is less popular than the first. But it also has positive aspects:

There is a chance that your chosen one will financially and morally support you in an effort to develop in the future

There are also controversial points in this issue:

As a result, conflict situations and quarrels arise in family relationships.

A woman seeks to combine career and family

Some women were able to become not only business women, but also wonderful housewives, spouses and mothers. In order not to make a choice between a career and a family, these women believed in themselves, stocked up on patience and learned to maintain a balance between completely different aspects of their own lives.

To do this, women adhered to some principles:

• correctly planned time;
• learned to distinguish secondary tasks from the main goals;
• keep themselves in excellent physical shape;
• found a balance in their own inner world;
• learned to delegate some authority.

Thus, if a woman does not want to choose between career and family, then she must learn to give in and live a rich and interesting life. After all, a favorite job and a strong family can make any woman a happy and fulfilling person!

Due to the economic situation in the country, in modern families there is often a situation where both spouses work. Psychologists believe that this is an important factor influencing family life. Women who used to spend all their free time doing household chores began to work quite hard, practically renouncing their former duties. In many couples, the question arises of who and how will deal with household chores, how they will share household chores.

Often, couples who devote themselves to work are most often faced with conflicts in the family. Both men and women get tired of everyday work, monotonous work. Arriving home, tired spouses can “break loose” on each other and, without noticing it, create a conflict. When both spouses are busy promoting their careers, it is quite difficult to get away from conflicts and quarrels. They often do not have enough time either for the family, or for household chores, or for themselves.

What could be the threat? The answer to this question lies on the surface. The marriage may fall apart. Spouses will be doomed to loneliness. They lose family warmth and support of a loved one. And even the results achieved in the work may not bring due pleasure. How to avoid such a fate?

Couples with a similar problem should try to protect their relationship. A marriage that is not fueled by feelings is doomed to the fact that the work will push out thoughts of love and the second half. That is why you should recognize your mistakes in time. Until it's too late. You don't have to choose a career or a family. You just need to learn how to combine them.

For constantly working spouses, it is important to spend free time together, organize joint trips to the cinema, cafes or museums. Joint dinners will warm up the family hearth. At least at home. Trips out of town, to nature, will also have a beneficial effect on relationships. It is important to find at least 15 minutes to just chat with your loved one. Not on everyday topics, but about the feelings and experiences of each other. At such moments, you should carefully listen to your partner, try to give him advice. The main thing is not to forget about each other and not to put a career above the family, because true love is not so easy to find.

Household responsibilities can also drag a married couple down. Do not wait until family chores develop into a conflict. Responsibilities simply need to be agreed in advance and divided between the spouses. Not forgetting to leave the work that the couple can do together. Combining thereby the necessary work around the house with a pleasant pastime with your loved one.

What is more important - family or work? Everyone has the right to decide for himself. But those who value both the first and the second should be able to properly allocate their time so as not to end up with a “broken trough” later.

In the life of every woman, there comes a moment when she faces a choice - career or family. Of course, there are women who know how to combine both, but it is very difficult to determine how well they do it, and, achieving career success, whether there are problems at home at the same time. Therefore, before making a choice, it is very important to weigh all the pros and cons, and try to find a compromise. This will help you honestly answer the question of what you are willing to sacrifice, family or career.

Which is more important, career or family?

Now more and more women want to realize themselves in the professional field, to make a career. If earlier this trend was observed among women who have reached the age of 40, now very young girls who have graduated from institutes or technical schools are striving for this. But sometimes, having reached career heights or become disillusioned with work, they are left alone, sometimes destroying the family, but more often without creating it. To make the right choice and avoid loneliness, you should set all priorities for yourself from the very beginning of the career race. Indeed, often a woman who stubbornly strives to make a career simply could not establish her personal life at some particular moment, directing her energy in a different direction.

According to polls, it is by the age of 40 that most women begin to regret that they chose a career. If, having married, a girl does not want to give up her career, it is necessary that her husband supports her choice, otherwise she will have to give up either her family or her career. It’s better to give up a career after all, because not a single woman is unusual for the concept of careerism, this is more true for men. The role of the keeper of the hearth is inherent in the nature of a woman, not a director and manager, a real woman will never fight for a place in the sun with tough men.

Choosing a career in the presence of a family, a woman cannot fully give her children her love, attention, affection and care. Children do not receive the warmth they need, which directly affects their development and very often in a negative way. In addition, a career is not always a carefully considered choice, but simply helps any person, not just a woman, to feel their own importance.

In pursuit of career heights, one should not forget that not only success in the professional field is important in this world. Work plays an important role in our life, it helps to fulfill oneself, to show all one's abilities, to develop the best qualities and skills. But every woman is destined by nature itself to become a happy wife, a loving mother and a caring daughter. Only the inability to make the right choice and allocate time prevents you from achieving this fully.

The main advice of psychologists is that a woman must learn to feel, understand what she wants at the moment, so that later she does not regret her choice. Separately, I would like to mention that if you have made a career, but are still alone, you should not despair. Until a worthy man appears in your life, it’s better to build a career, and as soon as this meeting takes place, direct all your energy to your family.

How to balance career and family

Sometimes not just the desire to make a career makes a woman work, but also a banal lack of funds for a full-fledged existence, not all husbands can provide for their families. In such a situation, there is no longer a problem of choice, if a woman values ​​\u200b\u200bher husband, she can only learn to combine work and family.

• The distribution of responsibilities between husband and wife will help reduce the burden on a woman and enable her to successfully climb the career ladder if she strives for this. Therefore, talk about who among you will be responsible for what.
• Try to distribute responsibilities at work in such a way that household chores, and most importantly, your loved ones, do not suffer because of it. When using numerous techniques, how to rationally distribute working time and duties, this is quite possible. Organize your workspace both at work and at home in such an optimal way to save time on performing various operations.
• Do not take work home and do not discuss work issues all evening, devote your free time and weekends only to your family. Learn to separate work and home.
• To avoid problems if you earn more than your husband, and he shows dissatisfaction, try to create conditions for professional growth for your husband and an atmosphere that will make him feel that he remains a full-fledged owner in the house, despite your successes. Even better, if you let him know that only thanks to his support, help, good advice and faith in you, you have reached such career heights. Remind more often that all your successes at work are a common merit, but do not overpraise.

• Remember, workaholism and the desire to make a career are incompatible.
• Don't waste your time with your kids. Gifts, sports clubs and the best nannies will not replace a mother for children, so sacrifice your career for the sake of children. Spend all your free time with your children, arrange a joint vacation, play, take an interest in school affairs and hobbies.
• Be sure to remember that your husband also needs your attention and care. If you are forced to work overtime, let your spouse know and be sure to make up for it on the next weekend by arranging a romantic morning that turns into lunch and dinner. Try to avoid working on weekends and refuse to work overtime. Build a career not by increasing working hours, but thanks to your professionalism and deep knowledge.

Career and family for a woman

If you think about it and honestly answer the question to yourself, it turns out that many of the women strive to make a career in order to meet a worthy man and at the same time achieve a certain material stability and level in society. There are no other clearly expressed reasons that make you persevere to overcome step by step of the career ladder. Having achieved what they want, usually women no longer strive to move even higher, this remains even today the prerogative of men. Women who have received the right position and having reached a clearly defined level of income begin to think about creating a family, that it is time to direct all efforts to finding a worthy man, giving birth and raising children.

Therefore, if there is energy and ambition in the character, it is best for a woman to realize herself first as a business person and only after that start creating a family. Unrealized professional potential can become an obstacle to a happy family, as it will become a source of quarrels, scandals and mutual claims. To avoid this, if a woman feels the need and desire to work, let her work and not suffer what she should choose, a career or a family. After all, it is quite possible to combine career and family, simply by properly organizing your working day and distributing responsibilities.

A self-actualized woman is much calmer and happier than one who sacrificed her dreams for the sake of her family. Unfortunately, it is worth remembering that now men are no longer held back by either society, or the church, or children, and a woman who knows how to provide for herself will not find herself in a difficult financial situation if a man decides to leave her. In addition, everyone has the right to choose and freedom in decision-making, so make a career if you want it, but remember that becoming an honorary retired former plant director, you will want to have relatives and friends close by, so do not forget about family, a career will not serve a glass of water.

You should not look at those women who have completely devoted themselves to the family. If you look closely, many of them simply do not want to work and are comfortable in their own world. They easily made their choice, because they do not have any inflated goals and desires. They want to remain, first of all, a wife, mother, daughter and woman, and not a leading worker, but the risk of finding themselves in a difficult situation increases if the family breaks up.

The best option is only one, if you have ambitions and abilities, realize them before you have a family, as soon as you get married, find time and energy for the family, and then you can successfully combine both career and family without making a choice between them.