How to help a man overcome a midlife crisis? Midlife crisis how to help your husband

Until recently, everything made sense: family, work, hobbies. There were so many aspirations and desires! And suddenly life became gray and tasteless. All passed, all known, all achieved.

16:36 6.07.2013

Both men and women experience it, only it is believed that the representatives of the stronger sex feel this crisis more acutely. Someone is destined to survive it at 25, someone - at 45, but it is inevitable, like a transitional age. A strange state when a gray wave of apathy covers you and the world loses its colors.

“Lately I don't want anything,” complains Olga, 39, a lawyer. - I'm tired of life. The son has grown up, he no longer needs my care. I achieved the maximum at work: there is nowhere to grow further, and it’s too late to change my specialty. In my relationship with my husband, in my opinion, everything has been tried. I don’t see the meaning of existence, I live by force every day, because it’s necessary. ” 35-year-old Alexander, a businessman, says: “I had some unreasonable anxiety. I'm getting old and I haven't done anything yet. And less and less power. Sometimes you want to become small again and hide under the covers so that no one will find. This state can last for months or years. Often, only specialists can get out of a protracted depression. If in a family one of the spouses is going through a midlife crisis, then the other one has a hard time. What if both are in crisis at the same time?

However, the picture is not so pessimistic. As they say, the salvation of the drowning is the work of the drowning themselves! You can become your own psychotherapist, coach and teacher, and it is you who can help your partner overcome depression. Be strong, tune in to a positive result - and start therapy!

If a loved one is depressed

For some time now you do not recognize your cheerful spouse. Somewhere the light in the eyes disappeared; a smile more forced than happy, and more and more often in his speech the phrase: “What's the difference?” Together you will cope with his depression!

Psychologists distinguish two types of midlife crisis in men. The first is conditionally called "early": it happens at 25-30 years old. The man is still young, full of ambition, but everything does not turn out at all the way he planned. It seemed to him that by the age of 30 he would have his own housing, a well-paid job, an expensive car ... But the 30-year milestone is about to be overcome, and he still rents an apartment, rides the subway and receives $ 300. The situation is aggravated if there are problems on the personal front: he has not yet married or, on the contrary, managed to get a divorce. Life disorder, unsuccessful career, lack of time and finances, dissatisfaction with ambitions lead to constant anxiety, anxiety, or, conversely, apathy. A man loses faith in himself, his own strength, feels like a failure.

The second option is a "late" crisis. Usually it comes after 40. Its reasons, as a rule, are opposite to those described above: a person has already taken place, achieved a lot, realized himself in all areas. And at some point he realizes that there is nowhere else to go. He does not see prospects, does not find interest in life. Perhaps he was disappointed in love, in family values; perhaps he realized that all his life he was engaged in an unloved thing. And now, more than ever, he feels the frailty of earthly existence...

Disappointed and very dangerous

Recognizing the crisis in your partner is not so difficult. If you have a trusting relationship, he himself will tell about his feelings: “everything is tired, I don’t want anything, life is meaningless.” Active and sociable before, he suddenly begins to lead a reclusive life: to refuse trips to visit, meetings with friends, noisy parties. Or, on the contrary, he goes into all serious trouble, trying to make up for lost time in his youth: he returns home late, ignores you and the children, perhaps even starts an affair on the side. However, these are extreme cases. Most often, a man continues to lead a normal life, does what he did every day, but at the same time loses interest in everything. He becomes a cynic and a nihilist: he scolds politicians, neighbors, colleagues, the country. Or closes in itself and avoids all sorts of questions. How do you deal with such a situation?

No offense

It makes no sense to take up arms against your spouse, “get” him with reproaches, repeat that it’s not easier for you either. This will lead to nothing but scandals and mutual alienation. Now, more than ever, a man needs a loving and understanding woman, wise and mature, capable of raising his self-esteem, suggesting that he is still good-looking, lucky, smart, that he has a whole life ahead of him and he will achieve everything he wants. Hide your ambitions and resentment of fate away: the time will come, and your spouse will also help you overcome a spiritual crisis. And now imagine yourself as a sister from the rescue service - and act.

verbal therapy

As you know, words can work wonders - use this. Some things will have to be repeated ten times, but this is how you will achieve the desired effect. Stock up on patience. For every husband's argument about his worthlessness, failures, senselessness of existence, find a counterargument. “I didn’t manage to do anything, I didn’t achieve anything,” he complains. "You're wrong," you reply. - Let's figure it out: look, friends appreciate you, you drive a car, you took the place of the head of the department.

An excellent son is growing up (grew up) in you, who does not have a soul in you. Many men can only envy you!” “I'm tired of people. Everyone annoys me, I don’t want to see anyone,” he continues. “Take a few days off, sit at home, relax, read, watch TV. You work hard, no wonder you're fed up with everything." - "The world is not organized correctly, there is no justice in it." - "May be. But you can surround yourself with those people and things that please you, create your own world in which you will be warm and comfortable. We'll do it together!"

Do not tire of listing his best qualities, remembering all his achievements. Repeat how you need it, children, parents, friends. Inspire that in everyone's life there is a black streak, but behind it a white streak necessarily begins. Say it with a serious face. Do not brush aside his complaints: "Leave me alone, I'm tired of listening, and it's so sickening." In the end, you decided to share both joy and sorrow with this person, and who, if not you, will help him believe in himself again?

Knight's move

We will bring the dear one out of the crisis not only in word, but also in deed. Show your partner that you love and appreciate him. To begin with, give him some unusual gift for no reason: an expensive lighter, an original painting, an accessory for a car. Dedicate a song, poem or story to him. Take apart his old photos and make a funny and cute collage out of them. Buy tickets to a concert of his favorite band or to a killer play in the theater. Give him some life-affirming philosophical works (for example, Osho) to read.

Suggest new bodily pleasures: go to a Japanese restaurant, try a Thai massage, visit a sauna together. And best of all, make a knight's move: send your dear one to rest abroad for a week. Even if he has been there more than once, he probably went either on business trips, where you can’t really relax, or on vacation with his family. And now he will have a unique opportunity to travel on his own! If, for financial or other reasons, he did not have to go abroad, then, no doubt, this will be a powerful surge: the person will return inspired, full of impressions, new aspirations. For the sake of this, it’s not scary to “tighten the belt” for a while and buy an affordable tour.

From fish to a new job

It is very important not to leave your husband time to be bored and indulge in sad thoughts. Fill his day to capacity: in the evenings, ask to work with your child, talk to you, help around the house; on weekends, visit friends, the museum, the city. Undertaking a small repair or furniture rearrangement at home: physical labor “unloads” the head. By the way, it’s nice to do some kind of sport together, for example, start going to the pool. The ideal option is if you help him find a new hobby, a business that would capture him entirely.

It can be photography, houseplants, fish, a dog, a bicycle, and, in the end, wood burning! First, get him interested, and then help create the necessary conditions: buy the necessary literature, introduce him to people who are fond of this. Show that there are a thousand more areas where he could apply himself! After all, it's not too late to learn another foreign language and get a second education. Or maybe it's time to change jobs or move to another area? He has been thinking about it for a long time, but does not dare. Cheer him up! Life is full of new opportunities, let him be convinced of this!

Closer to 40 years in the life of every person comes a difficult period of reassessment of values and deep internal changes in the personality - a midlife crisis. Everyone goes through this test in their own way, depending on the life situation and individual characteristics. Psychologists believe that men are experiencing this crisis more acutely, because society still makes higher demands on the representatives of the stronger sex in terms of self-realization and success.

Women also have a hard time, because the quirks of the husband, his mental turmoil, mood swings and other “charms” of the transitional state are added to their own experiences. It is at this age that the largest number of divorces, depressions and even suicides occur. The weak half of humanity faces many difficult questions: how to survive a midlife crisis with a husband, support a spouse in this difficult time, save a family and remain yourself?

What is a midlife crisis

The age of 35-40 is perceived as the middle of life, when carefree youth is already in the past, and old age is just around the corner. A person looks back and tries to evaluate the past years from a new, more mature position. What were the best years spent on, what was achieved, do you have the strength to move on? If the answers to these questions are disappointing, self-disappointment sets in, heavy worries about wasted time.

Even if a man has realized himself in one or more areas, has reached heights in his career or business, he has a wonderful family, he is quite successful, the crisis will somehow manifest itself in the devaluation of his past achievements, in a desperate desire to catch up or spiritual searches.

Former goals seem small and insignificant, priorities change, and a person seriously thinks about the meaning of life, tries to find something to occupy his mind and heart with. He is looking for support in a changed world, shedding his old skin and striving to find himself new, still not understanding what to fight for and what to desire.

Often a midlife crisis becomes a turning point in men's lives. People change jobs, religion, lifestyle, family, move to another city or country. At this time, a person is capable of any actions - from ridiculous and eccentric to tragic, which have irreparable consequences. But for those who manage to cope with the manifestations of the midlife crisis and accept these trials as another step towards a higher level of development, the midlife crisis helps to become better, wiser, kinder, more humane.

Signs of a midlife crisis in men

A dear and close person, a beloved husband and father suddenly becomes a stranger, unfamiliar, absolutely unpredictable. He gets annoyed because of every trifle, takes out his anger on his wife and children, tries to spend more time away from the family hearth.

At the time of the midlife crisis, most men have the intention to drastically change their lives. Some men change their style of clothing, habits. It is not uncommon to search for new hobbies, craving for adventure and thrills.
With health, too, not everything is in order, affect nervous tension and emotional instability. In addition, at this age, hormonal changes begin in men, excess weight and the first signs of aging appear.
In relations with the second half, not the best times come. Carping, reproaches, insults begin. It seems to a man that his wife does not love him, children do not respect him, there is no comfort and coziness in the house. He craves admiration and approval, needs self-affirmation and often starts an affair on the side to prove to himself that he is still capable of winning women's hearts.
Work is also changing. A man either begins to make a strenuous career, in an attempt to achieve the position that he dreamed of in his youth, or, on the contrary, is disappointed, gives up and loses all interest in his work. Wealthy people often retire for the sake of spiritual pursuits.

The period of the crisis lasts quite a long time - from three to five years, during which he faces the difficult task of becoming stronger, finding his place in the world and not losing his loved ones.

How to Help Your Husband Get Through a Midlife Crisis

Age crises of a person are a difficult test for his loved ones, especially when it comes to the head of the family, her hope and support. And the main role here is assigned to the wife, the keeper of the family hearth. No matter how destructive and repulsive a man’s behavior may be, it is important not to cut in haste, but to try to understand him and help him during this period.

Psychologists give some advice on how to help cope with the manifestations of the age crisis in her husband.

Try to understand the psychological state of your spouse

Of course, now your husband is not a gift, but he has an excuse - he is going through one of the most difficult periods of his life and can count on your support. This does not mean that you need to become a hostage to his depression and give up yourself and your desires, because such a position will only worsen the situation. Find a middle ground and become a true friend for him, an assistant he can trust, but not a victim. To do this, you may need the help of a psychologist who will explain what is happening now with your spouse and help you maintain your own peace of mind.

Be considerate to your husband

Surround him with unobtrusive care and warmth. Create a pleasant homely atmosphere in your home, indulge your loved one with delicious dinners. Spend time together, find common interests. Change the scenery, go on a trip, attend cultural events. If your husband has a new hobby, try to share his hobby. At the same time, be extremely tactful and avoid pouring out curiosity and importunity, give him the opportunity to be alone with you.

Avoid conflict

Do not throw tantrums, do not scandal. Avoid sharp corners and unpleasant topics. You may have to close your eyes to something and let a lot of barbs go past your ears. Be patient. Do not blame your spouse for all mortal sins and do not provoke your spouse to sort things out. Do not threaten divorce unless you really intend to divorce.

Respect and support your husband

Whatever happens, don't humiliate your husband. Right now, more than ever, he needs to feel like a winner. Help him to assert himself, praise, encourage. Don't give advice unless he asks you to. Do not decide for him what to do, and do not treat him like a sick person. Understand and accept the fact that you will not live this period for him or instead of him. He is a man and is able to cope with his own problems. Just be there and by his side.

How to help a woman during a difficult period

When men have a midlife crisis, many of them become depressed and begin to look for the culprit of all their troubles. Not everyone is able to face the truth and take responsibility for the past years. At this moment, the closest person is under attack - the wife.

It is extremely difficult to withstand such emotional stress, especially if a woman herself goes through age-related transformations. Therefore, it is important for a woman to save herself and protect children from psychological trauma. The following tips will help you maintain your mental health:

Take care of your self-esteem. Do not pay attention to unflattering words, to attention to other women.
Don't blame yourself. Even if he blames you for his failures, remember that his life is his responsibility, and only his.
Do not take revenge and do not seek solace in alcohol, drugs and connections on the side. The more worthily we cope with difficulties, the better our future life will be.
Don't let yourself be treated harshly. No crisis will justify physical and psychological violence. Respect yourself and don't become a victim.
Do not involve children in conflicts. Do not fight in front of children and do not speak badly about their father.
Love yourself and develop. Your man needs a confident, beautiful, interesting woman. No matter how this situation is resolved, you need to move on with your life.

Remember that now your spouse is lost and disoriented, and no matter how he behaves towards you, it is you who support and support him. If you follow his example and give up, then your family boat will inevitably run aground. Take care of yourself, your appearance, do not abandon your business and hobbies. If you do not feel enough strength in yourself to do this, seek psychological help from a specialist.

Outcome

Age crises are an integral part of a person's life and a prerequisite for his maturation and personal growth. During these special periods, important psychological changes occur: worldview, values, priorities change.

If the crises of the first years of life are well studied and known to all, then the age-related crises of adulthood and old age still largely remain a blank spot for the average person. Therefore, you need to understand how to help your loved one survive the midlife crisis. After the crisis, a new life begins, and if you managed to go through this test hand in hand, then you have every chance to live happily together until the end of your days.

Video: psychologist Natalya Tolstaya “The crisis of your husband. Turn on the mood."

The midlife crisis in men is a huge problem that affects not only him alone, but the whole family. It occurs in every second man who has reached the age of thirty, and it will not work to avoid or ignore this phenomenon. Therefore, a modern woman should take care of how to help overcome this problem and survive all the misfortunes with her husband.

You probably know what relationships should be in a family, but with the onset of a crisis, a man’s relationship is kept in the balance. Often a husband can not only scream in vain, but also go “to the left”, so it is extremely important to help him survive this difficult moment - the onset of a crisis.

signs

Of course, a lot of factors should be taken into account, perhaps this is far from a critical situation, but simply trouble at work, or increased fatigue. So let's look at the signs that a man has a midlife crisis:

He is dissatisfied with himself and his work. As a rule, a midlife crisis is a ball of problems that not only exist, they also accumulate. Therefore, a man becomes dissatisfied with his work, his position, salary. Why is the performance indicator one of the first to appear? Imagine for a second that your husband lost his job. For him, this is almost everything, he existed at the expense of work, and even endured all family difficulties at work. And now he falls into the risk zone, or in general, he can lose it. During a crisis, any man rethinks his life, and it all starts with the fact that, they say, if he did something differently, then life could be different. I would have graduated from another university, gone to another job, or even changed my specialty. He can begin to compare himself with his peers, and if they turn out to be richer and more successful, depression is guaranteed to him.
The man is dissatisfied with his personal life. This is also not uncommon. In a crisis, it seems to him that his wife does not love him enough, that his children have been brought up incorrectly, they treat him badly, that no one appreciates him. And in general, other wives are much better. This is typical behavior, because of which more than one family is destroyed.
The husband is overly concerned about his health. He becomes too suspicious in this matter, constantly looking for diseases that were even more so, he believes that he is being poorly looked after, and so on.

If you find your husband has these symptoms, then be prepared - he is having a midlife crisis. But thanks to what we will tell further, you will be able to experience it with him, and help him believe in himself, respectively, he will come out of such a depressed state.

How to get rid of the problem

First of all, only a woman can help bring her husband out of this state. The midlife crisis in men is dangerous, how to get rid of the problem - now we will analyze.

So, first of all, you should know the secrets of how to improve relations with your husband. You need to understand that a woman in a family is an important link, but she should stand next to her husband, and not above or below him. Try to behave with restraint, do not react to the mood swings of your husband. In no case do not enter into disputes and polemics with him, you still won’t prove anything, only make him more angry.
Praise the man more often. Every man loves praise, especially he will be pleased to hear it from his wife. Prepare pleasant surprises for him, prepare a new dish, for example, homemade, which will instantly cheer you up. Inspire him that he is an excellent worker, that he is irreplaceable, peers and no match for him.
Instill faith in the future. During a midlife crisis, men experience mental weakness. You must logically explain to him that he is still young, handsome, easily overcomes difficulties, and great achievements and successes lie ahead of him. Direct his energy in the right direction.
Improve the intimate atmosphere. Oddly enough, but this factor is the most useful and has a strong influence. Many men seek solace in other women because their wives won't give it. Therefore, you should improve the intimate atmosphere, perhaps try something new. If the husband has changed, it is only because he is afraid that he can do nothing. Try to prevent this, go to study at the "School of Elite Wives" - Lisa Pieterkina. It's still that option! Having passed such a school, a woman will never allow any crises in the family, neither middle nor junior, not a single senior!
Prepare delicious mulled wine, arrange a romantic candlelight dinner…

Midlife crisis, how to help your husband?

Main features

At the turn of 40 years (it is this figure that is considered to be the “middle age” of a man), many representatives of the stronger sex are in a constant state of stress because of the reassessment of the values of his life. Outwardly, it may seem that nothing has changed and everything goes on as usual, but the emotional state of a man during this period is going through hard times. Anyone can face this problem, regardless of their financial well-being or marital status.

The period of the greatest risk of a crisis falls on the return from 36 to 50 years; it is not possible to give a more accurate figure due to individual characteristics. The crisis can be characterized by the fact that the psychological problems of men lead to the realization that what youth is gone, and, looking back, not everyone can say that they took everything from life, and all the opportunities that fate gave were used.

Dissatisfaction with the answers to the question: "what have I achieved in my life?", "Could I have done something better?" all the possibilities are open, to change something is no longer on the shoulder.

Eat a few basic things in life, problems in which can bring a person to depression:

Job. It is in the period of 35-40 years that a career is at its peak, and if a man has not reached the heights by this age, it scares him, and it seems that nothing can be changed. But a high position and high earnings are no guarantee that a crisis will not come, introspection can lead a man to decide that what he has received from life is not all that he could do.
Family. Even little things can annoy, what usually seemed normal now leads the head of the family to discontent. As with work, it may seem to a man that the woman he dreamed of is not around, and his family could be much happier.
Health. Coming to a manic state, alertness about one's health is another sign. After all, according to the man, he is on the verge of old age and his health is about to be like that of an elderly old man.

The correct behavior of a woman

Women's Help Basics in a difficult period, they lie on three whales:

support;
Adoption;
Love.

The first sign that a man is “withdrawn” is his frequent silence and unwillingness to communicate. Constant fatigue and dissatisfaction with any oversight, even the smallest, should also alert. Often a man is covered with aggression, and a change of mood becomes the norm for a similar period of a person's life. In response to this, you can’t let the situation take its course, talk with him, bring him to a dialogue.

If a man receives proper support from close people, the state of crisis will pass faster, adaptation to a new period of life will be less painful. A life partner should become the first assistant in this matter. The main thing is to recognize in time what is happening in the soul of the betrothed.

No wonder they say that a woman in a family is a neck that turns the "head" - a man, in the right direction. The wisdom inherent in the representatives of the beautiful half of humanity will help give a man the opportunity to feel like a leader in a family whose word is not discussed. Sometimes the demands and requests will not be entirely timely and may even resemble the whims of a child, and this is where female wisdom is needed to help minimize the consequences of male decisions.

To convey to a loved one that his changes in appearance and health is a natural, biological process, and gradually we all grow old, this process did not start in a moment, but goes on for years. A man should not doubt that he will be accepted at any age, in sickness and in health, it is necessary to make him understand that changing his physical condition and accepting him is what people agree to, giving consent to live in a family.

A huge role in the preservation of the family is played by the sexual attractiveness of the partner, her love and passion. And if a long-term life partner cannot provide for all the needs of her husband in this regard, then it is no wonder that he will go "to the left." And here scaring away competitors will no longer help, you need to start with yourself, become interesting and attractive for your man. Even the diet will help ignite the spark of passion. Invite a man to eat eggs, nuts and seafood (known aphrodisiacs) regularly and his sexual desire will become sharper.

Denying intimacy is a direct way to aggravate the situation both in the soul of the husband and in the family.

After all, thanks to regularly received sex, a man can feel the significance, assert himself. It is quite possible that right now a new round will begin in close relationships between a man and a woman.

How can I help you?

In addition to family relationships, attract a man to social life:

Sport. A good way to distract, or even captivate a person is sports. Regular classes (and even better joint) in a fitness center or just in the fresh air will help not only improve your well-being, but also strengthen your morale and improve your state of mind. compliments and encouragement about physical data from a beloved woman will cheer up, and who knows, maybe reduce the time a man stays in a crisis to a minimum.
Trips to cultural events, museums and exhibitions are also able to bring a new touch to the life of a man. It is not necessary to spend a lot, the main thing is to show that life does not just go on, it has just begun! You can make a trip, even to a neighboring city, to learn something new. Well, if the financial situation allows you to fly far - do not delay, relax.

Prohibited actions

None of the support methods will work if you apply in your practice the scheme of comparing a man with his friends or colleagues.

How is the midlife crisis expressed in men and ways that will help a man cope with depression in this period.

Have women ever had such situations when a once cheerful and cheerful loved one suddenly becomes gloomy and irritable? Do frequent depressions already seem normal to you? Congratulations, your chosen one smoothly passed into middle age and felt the crisis of this period. Let's figure out together what this time is and how to deal with it.

What is a midlife crisis in men?

Not all women really appreciate the situation in which a man found himself during a midlife crisis. Wives think that all this is a trifle and nonsense. But for a man, this is a deeply psychological stress.

Indeed, it is during this period, in the understanding of a man, that he ceases to be a reckless guy (even if he has been married for 10 years), but becomes a serious and responsible man. And if the wife does not support and calm the man, then he can not only close in on himself, but even go into a long binge or find solace from another woman.

What is a midlife crisis? Actually it's just certain boundary, in which a man already has a status, a family and a certain social circle. But for a man, the crisis has its own specific nuances.

He suddenly realizes that already half of his life is behind him and looks closely at what he has. In addition, he looks very meticulously - the car could be better, the house is bigger, the wife is more beautiful. And here she is, depression came.

By his personal standards, all that he has achieved is very modest. Again, he recalls his mistakes, which were at the moment, in his opinion, youth. And realizing that not all of them managed to be corrected, he is even more sad.

The next step is the reassessment of values. Now what I wanted to achieve earlier does not seem so desirable. And what is desirable is very unrealistic. It becomes unclear to a man what he needs and how to get it.

In addition, the man believes that he still has to do everything better than young guys at work, in the gym in training. And when for some reason this does not happen, then a wave of negative emotions simply covers the man. And going to the mirror, and seeing a couple of new wrinkles or gray hair along with an emerging fox, a man loses the remnants of optimism.

Signs and symptoms of a midlife crisis in men at 30, 33, 35, 40, 45, 50, 52 and after

So, let's take a look at how men look and feel during a midlife crisis. It is also important to consider that it does not last a week, not a month, but can last several years.

The man's behavior changes dramatically. That merry fellow is no longer there - a gloomy depressive man has appeared. Calm earlier guys become, on the contrary, the soul of the company, they can unnecessarily join alcohol.
The man goes to work now very reluctantly. After all, 20 years ago he dreamed that he would become the head of the holding, but it turned out that now he is only a manager in a trading company. But he really understands that it will be more difficult to achieve something than at the age of 20. If you don’t support a man in time, you can get fired from work.
Accompanied by a deterioration in the psychological state, in a man deterioration in physical health occurs. After all, as has long been proven, all problems are from nerves. And worrying about any failures, a man is faced with a deterioration in health.
A man becomes dissatisfied for any reason- favorite borscht is now undersalted and sour, a beautiful wife suddenly found a stomach and cellulite. And he turns into an old man. These thoughts simply overcome the man with a heavy burden.

From 30 to 33 years old, a man has another crisis period when he gains complete independence and freedom. And it is very important not to let a man savor freedom, because if he is married, then this union will burden him. Free people, gaining freedom, will not want to burden themselves with family ties.

From time immemorial, a man has been a breadwinner and a warrior. But over time, the biological clock, ticking, led the guy to irreversible aging processes. Hence the crisis arose, because realizing that youth is passing, they also appear:

Prostration
Hormonal changes
Decreased libido and, as a result, potency
weight gain

The midlife crisis in men can be compared to menopause in women. This can be associated with a low level of testosterone in the blood. But men absolutely do not want to lose past successes, including in sexual terms. Therefore, often after 35 years they have a few more ladies of the heart.

Thus, a man proves first of all to himself that he can still attract the attention of women. I mean, it just asserts itself.

And if before the age of 35 men seek themselves and achieve certain goals, then after 40 they already consider and evaluate everything that they have achieved. And according to psychologists, a man at 40-45 years old wants to see himself like this:

In a career - a victorious warrior
In the family - the head and breadwinner
Steering wheel - only a high-class car and a powerful yacht
In society - recognition and admiration

And if all this is achieved, then the man does not have joy. Again, by the age of 50, more and more fears are obtained. What to do next? Buy another car or house, go to a resort. But all this somehow does not cause something that can cause delight in many.

And his wife, as it seems to him, no longer admires his success so much. And the purchase of another fur coat is considered a given, without gratitude in the eyes.

In addition, from 40 to 55 years old, a man is terribly tormented by one thought - he can lose potency. And without this, according to the powerful of this world, they already mean nothing. And here it begins, as in the well-known saying "gray hair in a beard, demon in a rib."

Young mistresses, in the opinion of an aged man, stimulate his libido and improve potency. But this is the mistake men make - they think that it is the deterioration of potency that has cooled their family life and support it with the help of young girls. But it is the presence of a mistress (a rare woman does not know about a rival) that worsens her personal life.

After all, a woman also worries that she is no longer as fresh as before. And maybe the man lost interest in her. So it turns out a snowball of misunderstanding, which can destroy the family.

It is important to be patient, because a crisis in a man can be from 3 to 5 years. And often the outcome of this period depends on the wise behavior of relatives and wife. After all, the endurance of the wife and children will help the man return to the family and to the familiar circle. And not the desire to understand the psychological disorders of the husband lead to the breakup of the family.

When does a midlife crisis begin and end in men, how long does it last?

As we have already found out earlier, the midlife crisis is a very individual period that can begin both 30 and 50 years old. It all depends on the inner mood of a man and the values he has - family, children, successful work.

The less values a man has, the earlier and longer the crisis period can last. Therefore, it is important to identify the cause in time and take comprehensive measures to eliminate partner depression. A wife needs to have conversations with her husband, support him, connect children to spending time together.

It is important for a man to understand that he is not alone and everything is in his power. Only in this case, the midlife crisis will pass for a man quickly and with the least emotional distress. If the wife and children are not able to help the man on their own, then it may be necessary seek help from a psychologist.

Midlife crisis in men - depression: how to survive, how to get out of it?

Depression during a midlife crisis is a phenomenon that will surprise no one. But it must be overcome. Let's figure out how to do it.

Let's consider everything in stages:

Problems at work- low salary, always dissatisfied management, envious colleagues.

In this case, you need to find out if you need this type of activity. Maybe you should take a little vacation and look for a new job. Yes, it is difficult and even scary to start something from the beginning. But is it worse than going to the service, like hard labor. Or maybe you try to work for yourself. You just need to decide on the field of activity and not give up.

Problems with wife- misunderstanding, scandals.

The important thing here is not to be selfish. Reconsider your behavior, because not only a woman is wrong in everything. Think about how best to smooth this or that situation. Take one step forward and get two steps back.

But if a man himself cannot cope with depression and the situation only worsens, then you need to visit a specialist. An experienced psychologist will be able to help, find common ground and ways to solve the problem.

In addition, if depression is deep, then a psychotherapist may resort to medication.

IMPORTANT: Drug treatment should only be carried out by a psychotherapist. No need to treat a man with medicines that helped a relative or colleague. The choice of the drug is selected individually, taking into account the degree of depression.

Medical treatment may include:

antidepressants, of which there are a huge number. All of them contribute to the elimination of anxiety, depression. They also improve sleep and appetite.
Tranquilizers which are used at the beginning of treatment with a short course. The effect of taking the drugs occurs after about 2 weeks.
Mood stabilizers. These drugs eliminate depressive disorder and stabilize mood. After taking the man, there will be no mood swings in the depressive direction.
vitamins- to normalize the nervous system, vitamin B is used.

Midlife crisis in men - mistresses, leaving the family: what should a woman do?

Every woman has experienced a midlife crisis. Very often, a man finds a solution to the problem in a new hobby, a young girl who will cheer him up and not only.

Divorces are often the result of such a spree, and most often at the initiative of the wife. But in vain, because going to the side, a man never at first thinks about leaving the family. A man after 35 in this case can look for new positive emotions and a sexual charge, nothing more. And no matter how the wives think about eternal love, but the man is fed up with family ties and is looking for fire on the side.

But many men at the age of 40 admit that their wife is completely satisfied with them as a companion, mistress and mother. And the girl on the side is just a temporary hobby. And while spending leisure time with his mistress, a man first of all thinks about keeping a secret. After all, he is an excellent family man, a careerist and a caring father. And if this happens, then the combination of lover + wife brings him a positive emotional outburst.

But all the secret once becomes clear and the time comes when the wife from the "well-wishers" learns about the betrayal. And very often the lover herself informs about this, thinking that, in this way, the man will get to her alone. Not every woman is ready to be in the background all her life.

And now, if the betrayal had not been exposed, then after a year or two the man was tired of the young passion, and he returned to the quiet family shore. But in life there are unpredictable and unexpected situations. What to do?

It is important for a woman in this situation to behave with restraint and correctly. And this means that the husband during the crisis depression does not leave to seek solace on the side, try to take care of yourself, be well-groomed and feminine. Support a man, listen to him and be a friend, partner and a great lover.

But do not turn self-care into fanaticism. Otherwise, a man will leave his eternally brilliant wife with long nails and false eyelashes to where they simply cook delicious borscht for him. Find the golden mean.

But imagine that you were informed about treason. What are your actions. Yes, first of all, I want to tear out all the hair of my mistress, slap my husband in the face and put him out the door, expecting that he will crawl on his knees daily begging for forgiveness.

But here it is important to understand the psychology of a forty-year-old man. At this age, they no longer want troubles, although many do not want this ever. And especially if she, the other, accepts him with open arms, then it may turn out that by collecting his things, you will only make his life easier. He will calmly go into the warm embrace of a contented passion.

But this course of events does not suit us. Therefore, you should remember the following rules:

Keep your mouth shut. Yes, it’s difficult and I want to do something nasty to my mistress in front of everyone. But be wise, it will be credited to you later. And later, when everything ends well for you, you will pour your spouse on the first number. But now it is important not to disclose these personal nuances.
Find an ally. Believe it or not, your mother-in-law will help you with this. After all, she also worries about her beloved son. And if she finds out that he left his children and wife for the sake of a young flirt-tail, then she is unlikely to be happy. Maybe, for starters, she will show irony to her daughter-in-law, that, they say, she apparently behaved badly with her son, since she went on a spree. But he will have a conversation with a man, you can be sure.
Get information about your opponent. You won’t find out the truth from a man, besides, he will easily tell you that he has nothing to do with it, that she has bewitched, drunk, etc. But you need to learn everything about her as much as possible and understand what attracted your man to her.

Here, the one who is more wise and self-possessed, cunning and calm will win. You just need to let your husband go, yes, you heard right. Just tell your husband: “If she is dearer to you, then you can be with her. But you must know that I cannot live without you, because I love and cherish you.

Remember that the best way to keep a man is to let him go. In no case should you expel your husband. Even if it hurts a lot and there is no strength to see him. Talk to your partner and let him talk.

It is also important to learn to forgive. Yes, it is difficult and painful, but all people make mistakes. And maybe right now your husband realized how dear he is to you and your family.

The main thing to remember is that it is important to be attentive to each other. Do not spend leisure time with books and TV alone, but do everything together, find common interests, travel. And then the husband will be so carried away by his family and wife that he will not allow the demon to penetrate his soul and body behind joyful impressions.

When is the most difficult age for men - the crisis years?

In men, the crisis period can be more than once, and at different periods of life, a man is faced with situations that cause him to become depressed. These periods can be divided into the following:

13-16 years old- at this age, the guy wants to seem very mature, not only in the eyes of others, but also in his own. An important action at this point is to demonstrate independence from parents. But in response, often only conflicts and misunderstandings are obtained.
21-23 years old- during this period, studies have already been completed and you have to bear responsibility for your actions at work. You can no longer skip a couple or not do your homework. Now you have to come to work early and possibly stay up late. Hanging out with friends doesn't happen that often anymore. All this at first can cause in a young person a feeling of throwing, nervousness, fussiness.
30 years- this period for some is a harbinger of a crisis, and for some it already completely takes possession at this age. During this period, a man begins to realize what he has achieved in life and what niche he has occupied. There comes an understanding that some of the bars were overestimated and, accordingly, not achieved.

35 years– at this point, the man begins to look at his surroundings. And first of all it concerns the wife and children. Now it seems to him that falling in love has already passed, and a routine and time has appeared that cannot be returned. Now the days for him fly inexorably, adding new wrinkles to his face. Where perishing here without depression. Quarrels, scandals, and sprees of a depressed man are often noted here. But, if the wife finds the strength to endure this period, then the man gets depressed over time and he begins to live more realistically, set attainable goals and successfully achieve them.
By the age of 40 a man develops a new degree of depression. And even if a person is quite successful, the reason is new. Namely, diseases. At this age, the man most likely was already in the hospital for one reason or another, watching for chronic diseases from friends with whom he could previously revel in a revelry for several days in a row. And this is where thoughts of death often come up. After all, age, in their opinion, already obliges to think about it. Here it is important to convey to the man that you just need to monitor your own health and lead a healthy lifestyle.
50 years- now a man is increasingly becoming like a small child. In addition, the child is sickly, the man constantly starts to get sick. But if the wife does not support the man at this most difficult moment for him, then it is possible that he will find a young girl who will take care and look naively into the eyes of her beloved. This is where he will seek reassurance.

Try to help the man cope with emotional breakdowns. Understand that this may seem like a trifle to you, but for the stronger sex, such failures become a problem and a very serious one. Take care of your loved ones!

Midlife crisis in men: what are the consequences?

No matter how long depression lasts, it cannot last forever. And therefore it is important to foresee the possible consequences of this period. They may be as follows:

Favorable. After long painful reflections, the man decides that his wife is still a reliable support and support, his children love him, and work brings pleasure. Therefore, the man begins to set himself more realistic goals and returns to a normal fun life.

Unfavorable. In this case, a man who is not satisfied with anything in his life begins to change everything abruptly. This applies to everything: wife, work, environment. Very often, having not achieved success in a new life, a man knocks on the door of an abandoned wife. But the door is not always open. Such events can involve a man in a new depression and leave, as they say, with nothing.

Midlife crisis in men: how to overcome?

If you are looking for a solution to your man's midlife crisis on the Internet, then you are both right and making a mistake. You are right because you need to read the information, the psychological advice of other people. This must be done in order to be prepared for a different course of a man's depressive state. But the mistake may be that not all measures are applicable to your husband. All people are individual, and what helped the husband of one woman will not always help yours.

Having more or less figured out what needs to be done, it's time to study the main mistakes. These are the things you can't do:

Do not impose on a depressed man with advice. Do not use: "I believe", "I am sure", "I know how best." A man must understand that he is able to make this or that decision.
Don't blame yourself for your husband's depression. Every man goes through this stage to some extent.
A man should not see your tears. In this situation, he will not regret you, but will only get even more angry.
Do not be offended if a man does not show signs of attention to you, he is now all in himself and his problems. But you, in turn, show tenderness and support your partner. This will give him confidence in his need.
Give the man freedom, let him calmly think. But make sure that he does not like this freedom.
Never talk about divorce. In this state, a man can easily agree to this, and then you will have to regret it.
No scenes of jealousy. This can lead either to a baseless scandal from scratch or the departure of a man from your life.
Don't stop taking care of yourself. Go in for sports, visit beauty salons. Be in shape, but don't make yourself a doll. Self-development of a partner will invigorate a man.