How ladies behave with men. Rules of etiquette. Sophisticated manners for a real lady
Having a sense of style. As a rule, this quality is innate, but it can be brought up. If from childhood you try to give the girl a deep aesthetic education and show an example of real elegance, it is possible to bring up a real lady from her. At the same time, do not forget that style is not only the ability to dress well, but also the ability to surround yourself with beautiful things, radiate a special charm and attract admiring glances from others.
Second Rule: Great Manners
The lady always carries herself with her usual grace and knows how to behave in any situation. She does not allow herself to relax, even being alone. The easiest way to recognize her is by the way she speaks. Not without reason, in George Bernard Shaw's famous play "Pygmalion", the professor of phonetics Higgins, having decided to make a real lady out of the street flower girl Eliza Doolittle, first of all teaches her impeccable pronunciation.
Third Rule: Education
The lady must be fluent in several foreign languages. It will not be difficult for her to maintain a conversation on any topic. However, she will never stop on the path of self-improvement.
Fourth Rule: Creative Giftedness
Music accompanies a true lady from childhood. She should be able to move beautifully and gracefully, play a musical instrument and not be afraid to sing for her guests. Mandatory for a lady is the ability to dance. It should be rhythmic and graceful, confidently hold during any dance. Once upon a time, a lady had to adequately present herself in society during balls.
Fifth rule: etiquette
And this applies not only to the rules of behavior at the table, but also the ability to behave in society. A lady should be able to adequately receive guests, know what to say and to whom, when to smile, and when to show equanimity.
Sixth rule: diligence
Although today there is an idea of aristocrats as bored loafers, a real lady at all times is a wonderful hostess. She should have the ability to perfectly cook, set the table, manage the household. A modern lady always has cleanliness and order in her house.
Seventh rule: feeling beautiful
A true lady should be able to grow flowers and make beautiful and exquisite bouquets from them. Flowers accompany her throughout her life, she decorates her house with them. At the same time, it is impossible to see a single wilted bouquet in her house.
Rule Eight: Sewing Skills
Even if a lady buys her outfits from the best shops, she still needs to know how to sew. Such skills will allow her to tastefully compose her wardrobe and always keep it in perfect order.
Ninth rule: physical health
Once upon a time in English high society, a lady had to be able to ride, because she had to participate in the hunt and attend the races. Today, many girls are also fond of equestrian sports, but this skill is no longer required. However, a lady can ride an "iron horse" by learning to drive a car.
Tenth rule: work on yourself
Being a true lady is not an easy art, however, if desired, it can be mastered. For the sake of this, it is worth working hard, because a real lady cannot but arouse universal admiration.
Complexes and internal problems often prevent revealing their talents and feminine qualities. What to do with it? Exercise with a psychologist, watch a video lesson!
Manners, etiquette, tact and the ability to keep yourself are eternal. Elegance always captivates, delights and inspires respect. Coming out of modest surroundings and being forced to rotate in rich circles, it is easy to get a bunch of complexes, admiring chic and sophisticated women with extraordinary manners. But natural elegance and self-confidence can be easily learned. The main thing is to approach the issue with all your heart.In most cases, this is due to social origin. In wealthy families, girls are sent to a ballet school, where they are taught to stand straight and move gracefully. And in addition to dancing lessons, they go to special schools where they teach this, just like at home, everything is simply saturated with the spirit of sophistication of behavior in society. Most often, of course, this is typical for royal families, of which there are not so many left in the world today, or for upper-class families belonging to the elite of society. In Ukraine, unfortunately, due to certain historical events, there are practically no such families for a long time, as well as special requirements for behavior in high society, and, consequently, specialized educational institutions.
Continuing the lessons of good manners and correct behavior in society, I would like to pay attention to how we walk, stand and sit, and teach how to do it correctly and elegantly. There is nothing worse than a pretty girl who only uses her appearance, completely unable to behave properly. Sometimes it becomes a pity for those women who spend a lot of time and money on care in order to achieve the perfect hairstyle, manicure and makeup, who are completely lost behind their total inability to behave and behave with dignity. Correctly stand
First of all, when you stand, stand up straight, maintaining the correct posture (read about this in another article).
- Do not shift from foot to foot, even if your legs hurt or ache
- The legs should be perpendicular to the floor. Take small steps if this somehow helps to ease the load on the legs. You can also become in the third position by placing one foot slightly in front of the other
- Don't lean against the wall. Stand straight on two legs, or find yourself a chair
Regarding movements, remember that a real lady, a seductress, is a restrained and tactful woman who impresses with her beauty, demeanor and tact.
- Don't talk or laugh too loudly and avoid overly sweeping gestures. Hands, and especially elbows, should always be close to the body. Do not cross your arms over your chest or place them on your hips.
- If your legs really hurt and you can no longer stand, never complain or make a face. No one should know about your suffering. An exception can only be made for a best friend, or a loved one, but only very quietly.
When walking, the movements should be smooth, calm, harmonious and attractive. Exude confidence.
- Don't forget to keep your chin up.
- Try to walk straight. Imagine a straight line on the floor and try to put your foot as close to it as possible. Don't try to walk like a supermodel. This is not the effect you want.
- Don't go too fast, as if you're in a hurry. Don't move your legs. This will make you look tired and exhausted.
- Do not put a strong emphasis on the heel. Firstly, you become like a soldier, and secondly, the heel knocks too loudly, which annoys others.
- Do not exaggerate the swaying of the hips or the movement of the buttocks. It's unnatural and looks cheap.
- Always carry a bag or clutch with you to keep your hands busy. So you look more elegant than when your arms just dangle back and forth.
- Don't put your hands in your pockets. Pockets for men only!
- Standing in front of a chair or chair (or other object that you can sit on), lean forward slightly and bend your knees.
- Remember to keep your back straight. Then slowly lower your buttocks onto the seat, as close to the back as possible. If the seat is too far away and you need to move it closer to your knees, do so while you slowly lower yourself. Never pull up a chair after you sit on it. This creates unnecessary noise and looks disgusting. Never hunch over when sitting, no matter how comfortable the seat is.
- Keep your feet together. You can tilt them slightly to the side, or cross your ankles. In some cases, or in certain seats, such as the high stool behind the bar, it is better to cross your knees. This looks more feminine. Just remember that when crossing your legs, you should do it as carefully as possible and keep them as close to each other as possible. (Forget about Sharon Stone - not now...)
- When you get up from a place, do it also slowly, keeping your back as straight as possible.
In order to master these simple rules and apply them in society without the slightest feeling of embarrassment or inconvenience, it is best to practice at home in front of a mirror with different chairs and different outfits.
The next time you are going to famously open the door with your foot, uncork a beer bottle with your left eye and swear in colors, think about it: would Carla Bruni do this? Or the Duchess of Cambridge? About what is not yet to face a real girl, read below.
Use sex to manipulate a man
Today he was guilty - he took you to McDonald's, and not to Matisse, did not honor your new "bow" with a compliment, accidentally mentioned the name of his ex in a conversation. And in the evening you will punish him severely by refusing to share a bed with him. But after all, sex is not a prize or encouragement, but mutual pleasure. If it’s not so with you, we sympathize - it means that the wrong man is next to you.
be proud that you can't cook
Your culinary incompetence may indicate either that your mother still cooks for you, or that you eat exclusively in restaurants. The second option is no more attractive than the first, believe me.
Take a picture of yourself with your iPhone in the mirror of the toilet
It seems that this has already been written and said hundreds of thousands of times, and toilet photos still continue to flood the expanses of social networks with the force of Niagara Falls.
Hours on social media
Of course, of course, you are on Vkontakte and on Facebook, but you are there - you are only listed, but in general you do not abuse the Internet. But for some reason, constantly online and for some reason your likes are displayed in the news feed of friends with the pulse rate of a patient suffering from severe tachycardia.
Call your loved one a hundred times a day
You're not in control - you're just bored. You're not jealous - you just want to know how he's doing. Twenty times in the last three hours. Save your boyfriend's nerves so that one day they do not burst like the strings of an old guitar.
Read glossy magazines instead of fiction
You can spend the time freed up from many hours of calling your boyfriend to good use - for example, read something that enriches the mind and soul. We are not talking about Cosmopolitan.
Get involved in esotericism
Do you still think that posing as a sorceress is mystically attractive and demonically sexy? We hasten to dissuade you: demonstrating your love for Tarot cards and intoxicating teas from witch hazel and toad legs, you are more like a hereditary witch Tamara from the Poltava outback.
Getting too caught up in fashion brands
If you love Louis Vuitton and Dolce & Gabbana so much, love yourself quietly, but you should not buy whole batches of T-shirts with the name of the adored brand on the chest. It's not fashion at all and it's not trendy at all. Well, how much to learn, well.
abuse cosmetics
Natural beauty has been sung by more than one poet and more than one beauty expert. But you stubbornly spend at least 30 minutes every morning on the artistic drawing of curly arrows and creating rainbow patterns on your eyelids. Remember: what is good for Halloween celebrations is not suitable as a make-up solution for every day. Don't you want to take a nap for half an hour longer than usual?
Abuse causeless tears
You're tired and want to handle. You don't want to decide anything - you want a dress. And in general, you are so sudden and contradictory, you can cry whenever you want. Maybe a couple of times your beloved will press you to his heart and so affectionately drawl say “well, don’t cry, bead.” But sooner or later, these sobs of yours will start to annoy him wildly. You will not have time to come to your senses, as the object of passion hastily self-destructs, leaving you alone to splash in a small puddle of crocodile tears.
A true lady is kind. She is attentive to others, thinks about the feelings of other people. Such a woman will never scream, will not quarrel over trifles. She will not be sarcastic and spoil someone's mood. It's comfortable to be around her, it's nice to talk to her.
The lady will not get involved in any intrigues and gossip. Her eyes radiate warmth and kindness. Such from the bottom of her heart seeks to please others. She is equally polite to everyone. A true lady is especially kind to children and animals, she loves to take care of them.
Often such girls are involved in charity work.
Optimism
A real lady tries to stay optimistic. She believes in the best and is happy with what she has. The lady will not complain, whine and criticize someone. She is mostly in a good mood. If such a woman is not in a good mood, she will not show it to others.
The lady tries to control her own negative emotions and does not break down on others. By this, she proves her respectful attitude towards herself and towards other people.
Self confidence
A lady never doubts her own attractiveness. She loves herself, and the fact that she always looks good is proof of that. This girl appreciates her own dignity and knows how to take compliments properly. Such a woman will not fearfully make excuses in response to praise. She will thank the interlocutor with dignity and a smile.
Thanks to adequate self-esteem, a lady is not afraid to be alone. She is not inclined to suffer from jealousy and torment her partner with suspicions.
calmness
Tantrums or stupid whims are not about the lady. She is calm and carries herself with dignity. This lady will not wind herself up, be tormented by doubts or worry about minor things.
The lady will not rush, panic and fuss in vain. There is no nervousness in her actions, she considers her actions.
A real lady is smart and intelligent. She seeks to get a good education or improve her professional level. Such a woman has a lively mind and is interested in what is happening around.
Lady does not stop in self-improvement. She understands that a woman who is not engaged in personal growth does not just stay in place in her development, but takes a step back.
Such a girl is selective in her leisure. It will not be traded for low-grade reading and third-rate talk shows. Lady prefers high-quality literature and intellectual cinema.
The main quality of a lady is that she remains herself. Her behavior and character are not components of some invented image. This is part of her personality, which testifies to the true beauty of her soul.
What is the difference between an ill-bred person and a well-educated person? Audrey Hepburn, movie legend and model lady, argued that a well-mannered person would never cause inconvenience to others. The ability to restrain oneself and not be led by one's desires and instincts is the main difference between a Neanderthal and an aristocrat, the actress claimed.
In aristocratic circles, etiquette was taught from childhood, but the development of the market has made the elite much more diverse than centuries ago, and the rules of etiquette have ceased to be the prerogative of the elite. Today, many of the ancient rules have been abolished as unnecessary, and new ones that are relevant to our reality have taken their place. For example, did you know that putting your cell phone next to you in a restaurant is officially bad manners? (Which, what is already there, almost all of us have).
“By whom is this officially recognized?” the persevering reader will ask. London School of EtiquetteLondon School of Etiquette), the last bastion and guardian of good manners in our chaotic world.
Do you want to know what other rules of etiquette should be observed in a decent society? Here's a list from the LSE.
1. Never start eating until everyone at the table has been served.
Well, or until the hostess puts the last portion and sits down at the table. Leaning on your portion without waiting for the rest is a sign of bad education. In exceptional cases, you can start eating if the hostess or someone who is waiting for their dish asks you to do so (sometimes different dishes require different cooking times, and while your neighbor is waiting for his order, your dish will already cool down).
2. There should not be anything on the table that is not related to food.
Sunglasses, phone, keys, handbags, etc. must be cleared from the table at the moment when plates of food are placed in front of you.
3. Sending messages or checking your phone at the table is not accepted.
If you are waiting for an important call, or have to send a message, then excuse yourself, go to another room, to the veranda or to the toilet, and only then take your phone out of your purse or pocket.
4. Instead of “I don’t drink,” say “thank you, not today.”
A very nice rule of etiquette - it turns out that people who categorically state that they are against alcohol can offend or injure those who are even very much in favor of it. It turns out it seems like opposing oneself to those who are not averse to drinking a glass of wine and have already tuned in to it, and you spoil their whole mood with your manifesto. However, according to LSE experts, if you slightly change the wording, then your refusal will be taken quite calmly. You never know why today you refuse a glass of wine? In a decent society, no one will focus on this.
5. Always warn the interlocutor that you turn on the speakerphone
If you make a call and want to turn on the speakerphone, be sure to warn your interlocutor about this so that he does not end up in a stupid situation by accidentally saying something that is intended only for your ears.
6. The door is opened by the one who is closer to it
Hooray, women won the right to independently open the door in front of them, without waiting for a man to arrive in time. If a couple approaches the door together, then it is no longer necessary to wait for the man to open the door and hold it; this rule of etiquette has gone along with the era of stiff gentlemen and helpless ladies, tied with corsets.
7. In the office, it is indecent to heat up or eat food that smells strongly.
Especially if you eat at your desk. In spaces and common areas, etiquette forbids the use of strong fragrances or the presence of anything whose smell might disturb others. If you've ever sat at your desk and annoyed trying to figure out who was reheating fish in the office microwave again, then you know what I'm talking about.
8. They always leave the elevator and the room first, and only then they enter
In other words, there is no need to break into a store, an elevator, a subway car, or another room until those who want to get out get out of it. If it were possible to instill this rule of etiquette in the school of compulsory injections ...
9. Do not send empty messages and letters
No need to fill the mailbox with letters that contain one word "thank you" or a smile - it's better to write "thank you in advance" in the first letter of appeal, and not take time from your interlocutor (and not clog his mailbox) with meaningless messages, this is required by modern rules of etiquette.
10. Don't Send Work Emails and Messages During Non-Working Hours
In 99 cases out of 100 things can wait until tomorrow, pulling a colleague, partner or employee out of his personal or family affairs is a sign of your bad parenting.
11. Blot Your Lipstick Before Drinking
Lipstick marks on a glass of wine or glass were considered bad manners in the days of Audrey Hepburn, and continue to be so today. If you have made up lips, then blot them with a napkin before drinking, put the napkin in your purse, and after dinner, apply lipstick again.
12. Don't reach across the table
If a dish of bread or salad is out of arm's length, ask the person closest to you to pass it to you. Before putting food in for yourself, ask the person sitting to your right and left if they want to too. And if so, then serve them first, and only then put the food on your plate.
13. Shared dishes are always passed counterclockwise.
If a side dish or salad is served on a large dish, and everyone puts it on their own plate, then you should take this dish from the neighbor on the left, and then pass it on to the neighbor on the right. However, LSE experts note that if one of the guests does not know this rule and initially sets the wrong direction (clockwise, not counterclockwise), then you should not draw attention to this so as not to put him in an awkward position.
14. When you introduce someone, the older person is always introduced first.
If you introduce a friend to dad, then it would be correct like this: “get acquainted, Ivan Ivanovich, my father, and this is Sergey, my friend.” In the case of a business acquaintance, the one who is higher in status first introduces himself, this is required by the rules of etiquette.
15. In the office, hospital, or institutions, always set your phone to vibrate.
And if you need to talk, then go outside the common room so as not to disturb others. In a theater or cinema, the phone must be put in airplane mode, so as not only not to disturb other viewers with vibration and ringing, but also not to distract the artists with the light of the active screen.
16. If you are sick, stay at home.
Coming to work with an active cold and infecting other colleagues is very bad manners.
17. Don't let your guests drive drunk
Unofficial rules of etiquette say that you, as the hostess, are responsible for the state in which guests leave your house. If you see that one of the guests is not quite adequate, call a taxi and make sure that he does not drive.
18. If you invite guests to your place, always ask if they can take someone else with them.
To avoid later an ugly situation when one of the invitees comes with a couple that you did not expect, or with children that you are not ready to accept, and all emotions about this will be reflected on your face.
19. When you talk to someone, take off your sunglasses and headphones.
You can stay in sunglasses if your interlocutor does not take them off, although this is not very beautiful (but acceptable in some situations). If your interlocutor is not wearing glasses, then it would be correct to take off your glasses during a conversation in order to look into each other's eyes.
20. Don't forget to thank your hosts the day after the party.
Be sure to send a message or letter of thanks for the evening you spent visiting friends or acquaintances. In exceptional cases (for example, if the party was something outstanding), flowers with a thank you card or chocolate can be sent, the LSE clarifies.
21. Never come to visit empty-handed.
Even if the hosts answered “nothing” to the question “what to bring”, bring flowers or a bottle of wine. If the owners have children, then bring something to them (it is better to check with the owners in advance whether it is possible to bring sweets to children, and if not, then get by with beautiful balls or trinket toys).
22. Always check if your interlocutor can talk to you at the moment
It doesn’t matter if you are calling for work or for a personal reason, before starting a conversation, be sure to ask if your interlocutor has time for it.
23. Follow the dress code
Make the difference between how you dress for a party with friends and your workspace. Even if you work in the creative industry, and you don’t have a strict dress code, a bare stomach, an overly open neckline, or translucent fabrics in the workspace are strictly inappropriate.
24. Neatness and attention to one's appearance is a sign of a good upbringing
It is not necessary to spend a lot of money on clothes, but attention to one's appearance is one form of courtesy towards others.
25. Breastfeeding and changing diapers - intimate procedures
The LSE puts an end to discussions about what is natural and what is not, and whether a breastfeeding mother has the right to breastfeed her baby anywhere. LSE experts argue that breastfeeding in a public place is possible if the mother at the same time covers the child and does not publicly expose her breasts, covering it with a diaper and not embarrassing others with the physiological process, which not everyone is ready for.
The rules of etiquette require changing diapers in rest rooms, and not in front of interlocutors or in the middle of a restaurant. If you are visiting, then you need to ask the hosts where this can be done so as not to disturb others.
26. Always call back the one who initiated the conversation
If during the call the connection was interrupted, then the one who called should call back, and not you - your task is to wait and try not to occupy the line.
27. If you hear an accent from the interlocutor, then do not ask the question “where are you from?”
If you are talking to a foreigner, and this question is acceptable in the context (for example, you are at an international party and everyone is interested in each other where who came from), then this question can be asked. If you are talking to a person in your own language, and you hear that he is a visitor, then do not focus on this, this is a bad form.
28. Don't clutter up your friends' social media feeds with meaningless posts and messages.
These rules of etiquette are very clear. LSE specifically recommends creating two accounts - professional and personal, and making a difference between the content that you post in them. If you use the same profile, and among your friends and subscribers there are both colleagues and close friends, then do not post too personal photos (for example, from the beach) or frankly personal information that your colleagues do not want to know about you .
29. Don't be more late than is allowed
Being late for dates, business meetings or meetings in a restaurant is a bad form. But if you go to visit someone's house, then on the contrary, you should be late for 15 minutes (no more) to give the owners time to finish all the preparations. If you are 15 minutes late for a business meeting, be sure to let us know. If you are more than 15 minutes late for your visit, be sure to notify your hosts of your exact arrival time.
