What a woman should never apologize for. How to apologize to a girl if you offended you a lot and don’t know what to do That feeling when a girl apologizes

Shot from the film "One Day"

So, you offended her, brought her to tears, and now she is trying to forget your name. We understand that the situation is not simple, but it is quite possible to get out of it without losses. In this material, we decided to tell, while keeping the relationship and head on our shoulders.

But before you want to use our advice, remember one important rule: ask for forgiveness from a girl only if you fully admit your guilt and are ready to make amends with all awareness.

If this is about you, let's move on to practical recommendations.

Preparing for an apology

Before you start your fiery speech with words of remorse and despair, you should mentally prepare for this and understand how much you screwed up, and what shocks your girlfriend experienced after that.

1. Calm down and take a little break

It must be understood that in the power of emotions it is impossible to conduct a constructive conversation. If at least one of you is after a quarrel, it is worth taking a short pause, collecting your thoughts and calming down a bit in order to be ready to adequately analyze the situation.

You should not immediately rush to her knees and beg for mercy after you have done something unpleasant. Give yourself and the girl time to solve all the problems in an adult way.

2. Understand what you were wrong about

We all tend to justify our mistakes. Therefore, before apologizing to your girlfriend, make sure that you do not say: "You forgive me, of course, but I think that I am not to blame for anything." Even if you really are not to blame for anything (which is unlikely), this approach will be obviously losing.

In order to sound sincere and receive a well-deserved forgiveness, you need to comprehend everything that you have done. Try not to lie to yourself and identify the real reason for your quarrel.

In the process of so-called self-digging, you can come to unexpected conclusions that will lead you to identify all mistakes and readiness for repentance.

3. Choose a place and a way to apologize

Now you just have to figure out where you will apologize to your girlfriend in order to take the first step towards restoring your relationship.

If you live with her and will see each other anyway, make sure that nothing will distract you. If you understand that this is hardly possible, invite her to some cafe to talk in private.

If you live at a distance with a girl, and she does not want to see you, you will have to resort to another form of communication, for example, apologize to her in SMS or VK. Here, completely different rules will already apply, in contrast to live communication, and we will tell you about them a little lower.

How to apologize to a girl if you offended a lot

So, in this paragraph, we will tell you exactly how to say what should melt her heart. The main thing here is not to look for bright and beautiful quotes on the Internet, but to speak in your own words and be as honest as possible with her and yourself.

Here is an approximate algorithm of actions that must be followed if you meet face to face:

start with the words that you fully admit your guilt and understand the gravity of what you have done;

try to give an explanation for your actions, and it will certainly be credited to you. If you find it difficult to find a justification for your actions, try to dig a little deeper and say, for example, that you were rude to her because of not quite the right upbringing in childhood and not the best example of communication in the family, but also because of the current toxic environment, the influence of which leveling is not quite possible yet;

now say simple words of forgiveness, which should sound honest and sincere;

after that, tell your girlfriend that you realize the mistake and therefore you are never going to repeat it again;

do not forget to say that you value your relationship and value it very much, so you are ready to do everything possible so as not to upset her like that again;

if you see that your girlfriend has begun to soften a little, try to lightly touch her hand, and if you notice that she does not mind, try to gently hug her.

Looks easy, right? However, remember that the girl will not necessarily silently listen to your explanations.

Listen to your girlfriend

As you already understood, it is unlikely that your apology will be one big sentimental monologue. It is possible that at some point your girlfriend will want to express her opinion about what happened, in which case her reaction will most likely develop according to two possible scenarios.

First scenario(desired) - you still manage to beg for forgiveness, and she will be moved, forgive you and begin to talk about her experiences and reverent attitude towards you. Do not interrupt her and listen to the end.

Second scenario(more likely) - you will have to answer for the offense inflicted on her, obediently bowing your head and listening to everything that you deserve. There will be severe criticism and accusations that you will have to accept with courage, in no case falling into a similar tone. If suddenly you allow yourself to resist her, it means that you lost and failed the task. Your apology is unlikely to be accepted, so you have to start all over again. However, if you endured everything with dignity, your girlfriend may soften and most likely forgive you.

How to apologize to a girl remotely

If for some reason you can’t communicate live, then they can help you: a phone and her number, a profile on social networks, paper, a pen, an envelope and a person who could give her all this. There are a lot of ways to apologize in absentia, it all depends solely on your readiness and creativity.

Naturally, no one has canceled the classic messages online with the same words that you would have uttered at a meeting. The advantage of this format is that you have time to think before sending all this, as well as the ability to attach your joint photo or favorite song.

But if you don't think it will bring the desired effect, you can take a more serious step and record an apology video for her, send it to her in a personal or, even cooler, post it on Instagram or on YouTube. Here you can experiment in any way you like - sing a song, read poetry, dance alone with a sensual photo of her, show some cute magic trick, come to an open microphone and perform a stand-up in which you apologize to her, and much more.

In addition, there is always the option to write her a letter by hand on a piece (or several pieces) of paper, seal it in a beautiful envelope, buy her a small gift that only she will appreciate, and send it all by courier to her place of work or home. People do this a lot, trust me.

If you feel that you are very guilty, all methods will be good. The main thing is to do it all with maximum dedication and honesty, because pretense is very easy to notice.

If you think that the girl was offended just like that, and you are not to blame for anything, try to analyze this situation in more detail, looking at it not only from your side.

Sometimes guys mistakenly think that girls make scandals and whims from scratch for the sake of ... fun, because this should be a kind of shake-up for a relationship or a way to make a man more accommodating.

But, by and large, the guys just see the situation one-sidedly and selfishly, not thinking about the fact that in some moments they can really go too far.

Advice: Never jump to conclusions or make impulsive decisions. Always put yourself in the girl's shoes - this is the surest way to understand her feelings.

By the way, we even have a special one in the relationship. So, are you ready to find out the truth about yourself?

Relationships can be long, or they can end with the appearance of the first rays of the sun. What are you striving for when meeting girls, we do not know. But for sure, if you want to build a long-term relationship in full accordance with the canonical wish “until death do you part”, then you will be picky in your connections. The more expectations, the more careful the choice. Therefore, it is better to immediately pay attention to the moments that directly indicate that nothing serious should be expected with this girl.

1. All talk about her Actually, there is nothing wrong when a girl talks more than a guy. Men generally just talk like that is unusual. But when she talks only about herself and her problems, while not being interested in yours, then this is a sure sign of her selfishness. You got promoted at work and she keeps talking about her new perfume. Has your friend been in a serious accident? Yes, what is there! It is much more important that she did not get into the solarium today.

2. You have different values

Opposites may attract, but not when you have different values and worldviews. And now we are not talking about the situation when you support Spartak, and she supports Zenit. There are far more significant disagreements. For example, different attitudes towards managing money and expenses, or different ideas about the family. Such differences (and similar ones) can lead to further complications.

3. She is always too busy

Of course, it would be worse if she was free all the time. You don't need a slacker. But if she rejects any of your proposals for a meeting, referring to the so-called employment, then she does not particularly want to meet. At least that's what the prioritization of her schedule says.

4. She was dumped by her boyfriend

Now, be careful not to miss the point. We do not mean that a guy once and for some reason left her. The timing of their separation is important here. If this happened recently and she often remembers it, then you can serve as a temporary refuge for her, a way to distract or, even worse, annoy her ex. In this case, you should abandon such a relationship. And if you really like this girl, then give her time to move away from parting, and if she is worth it, she will reappear in your life. Who are you for her: a guy for once or a guy forever

5. One-sided desire to make contact

6. She has changed since you met.

Some people at the beginning of a relationship, trying to please their partner, try to seem better than they really are. And often in this case they resort to lies. In the language of metaphor, this means that when she met you, she declared her love for hockey, and when you started dating, it turned out that she didn’t even know what a puck was. If a girl lies at the very beginning, she will not stop doing it later.

7. You can't be yourself with her.

If you have to be unnatural, affected, too serious, silent or irritable next to her (in general, not being yourself), then it is better to refuse her. And it's not even that she's bad. You just don't suit each other. It is much worse if a girl hinders your development and you degrade with her. It’s better not to let this one get close to you for a cannon shot.

8. She's unfaithful

We don't even talk about the situation where she cheated on you. What matters is how she behaved with other guys. If you know that she cheated on all her exes, then what is the likelihood that this girl will be faithful to you?

9. She is against your friends

By and large, your friends do not have to like your girlfriend. You probably don't always like them either. And if she doesn't want to spend time in their company, it's not so terrible. But if she forbids you to do it, then go to hell with her. Why do you need an extra dictator in your house?

10. She doesn't trust you.

Unreasonable jealousy does not make her cute. Try to convince her of this. And even if after that she still continues to distrust you and you continually stumble upon traces of her espionage, then stop the girl's torment - break up with her.

11. She never apologizes or takes responsibility.

Relationships are built on mutual responsibility and the ability to find a compromise. You, as a man, must make greater concessions than she does. But if a girl never admits her guilt, even when this guilt is obvious, and never apologizes, then this indicates her immaturity for a relationship. 10 qualities of a girl that you need to pay attention to

Girls are taught from birth to be obedient and polite. It is important for adult women to know that there are things in life that you never need to apologize for.

The people around us always care about everything: we are constantly either too fat or emaciated from diets, we are condemned for our passion for a career, walking, beauty procedures and God knows what else.

According to relatives, each of us constantly makes mistakes - spoils children too much or, on the contrary, does not educate them at all, gives birth very early or delays childbearing too much.

It’s a little easier for men - society is much more supportive of many things, and women are brought up from birth in such a way that they are forced to constantly feel their own inferiority and apologize for many of their actions. It's time to stop doing it - a list of important things for which a woman in a good way should not apologize to anyone. Never. A woman's life is her own, and you need to perceive it the way the woman herself wants, without regard to the opinions of others.

your love status

You can be free, not lonely - and your mother can continue to worry as much as she likes that you still haven't made her happy with the news of your imminent marriage. You can live in a guest or informal marriage - and if it suits you, truly and without reservations - this is your personal choice, which you do not have to explain to anyone or experience feelings of guilt or inferiority about this.

If you are already married and happy as a housewife - great, then you are in the right place too. All those who claim that a woman's happiness is only and exclusively in her career can arrange their personal lives and not get into yours.

It is you who live, not your mother and not your girlfriends, no matter how hard they try to prove to you that they know better than you what exactly you need.

What are your views on motherhood?

Whether you give birth to children or remain in the ranks of child free supporters, at what age you decide to have offspring and in what quantity is entirely your choice. You can resort to the services of a surrogate mother - or have a baby to your friends, if you want. No one should ever tell you exactly how to live - period. Yes, it is not forbidden to completely change your beliefs either.

Your ways of raising children

Our mothers most often criticize our way of raising their grandchildren - no matter how clean or dirty the house is and at what age our children begin to walk and talk - even if in five languages at the same time.

The following thesis can be an argument: “Mom, you have already raised one child - me - and you assure that you are dissatisfied with the result. Therefore, I will raise my children myself - and in the way I see fit. This usually works. You are a real mother, and no one can prove otherwise to you.

Your success rates

Another parameter in which no norm is set - simply because there is none. You can run a large corporation and earn seven figures a month, be a cheerful housewife and live on your husband's money. You can be a school teacher, a cabaret dancer or a downshifter in Goa. Only you determine when and where you are comfortable making money and what you invest in the concept of "success". Under no circumstances should you make excuses, let alone apologize.

your appearance

Do you stick to naturalness and naturalness, calmly looking at your gray hair, or spend half your salary in a beauty store and the other in beauty salons? This is your decision, and in any case it is the right one.

your way of dressing

Jeans with a T-shirt, leggings in leopard print, a formal suit or floor-length dress and stilettos - yes, even a kokoshnik with a sundress. You and only you decide where and how to leave the house. Those around, including stylists with their endless “what women should not wear for ...”, let them follow their own advice. You can listen to them and draw your own conclusions.

Your body

You can proudly wear six-pack abs - or lush hips and chest. No matter what size you wear, no matter what the scales show, this does not determine your essence or the measure of your happiness. The main thing is that you feel comfortable with your sizes, numbers and volumes. The rest is completely unimportant.

Your age

The times when women in their 40s were considered deep old women are long gone. And that's great. At any age, it is never too late and not too early to do what you want and like. Skydiving, hip-hop dancing, cross-stitching, getting married for the seventh time, or going to nursing school because you always wanted to. You are not required to follow any age restrictions, rules or conventions: it's great if you are ready to proudly show off your gray hair and wrinkles. It's great if you know everything about plastic surgery and are willing to do anything to look young and fresh. This only applies to you - and your body.

Entertainment and joy

To each his own: someone does not get out of the library, while the other changes planes and countries. One cannot live without chocolate, and the other without yoga - you can continue indefinitely. No one will ever dare to judge you for your way of living in joy, so you need to make yourself happy at every opportunity. And when uncomfortable, too. Life is so short that it is definitely not worth wasting it on useless regrets, excuses and excuses.

We all express our regret at least once in a while when we are wrong. But scientists conducted a study and found that women tend to do this more than men. The fair sex is 37% more likely to apologize for their behavior than their companions. And usually this happens for fictitious reasons that are simply not worth remorse. So, here are 9 things women shouldn't feel guilty about.

For the desire to relax

"Excuse me, wouldn't it be too much if I take the day off next Friday?"

Regular vacations, sick days and even promotions are all your full rights. Therefore, you should never apologize for wanting to take a day off.

For a look that isn't always perfect

“I'm sorry, but I look terrible. I have dirty hair and a clear lack of cosmetics. I'm just disgusting!"

Even if you allow yourself to relax for a few days and stop carefully putting on beauty, this does not mean that you have become an outcast. Even without a perfect manicure, women remain members of society.

For debt reminders

“I’m very embarrassed, I’m sorry, but could you return this cup to me?”

Why should you feel uncomfortable? If a person borrowed something, then he is obliged to return the thing to the owner. And it must be embarrassing for him.

For expressing your opinion

"Forgive me, but I think this plan is really irrational."

Never apologize for your own beliefs. Better defend them.

For late response

“I just saw your letter. My deepest apologies for not being able to answer it sooner!”

On the one hand, ignoring may seem rather rude to the interlocutor. But on the other hand, every person has force majeure, for which he is not responsible.

For expressing emotions

“Sorry, I can’t even imagine what came over me ... Now I’m ashamed of my intemperance”

Even men shed tears sometimes. So it's all the more forgivable for a woman.

For sudden collision

A passer-by accidentally touches a woman. Her reaction: "Sorry!"

Perhaps, here it is not necessary to write high-profile comments. It's the other person who bumped into you. In fact, it is desirable for him to ask for forgiveness.

For a request to a service worker

"Hello. Excuse me, could you bring me some coffee?”

The client cannot feel guilty before the employee of the establishment for being a client. Therefore, learn to simply use the services without unnecessary timidity.

For saving

“Sorry, I can only order Diet Coke”?

This is quite normal if you do not have the means or simply do not want to buy expensive French wine. Just order a Diet Coke - and don't apologize for it.

There are things that we simply cannot change or somehow influence. So why apologize for them? So that later they would really begin to blame us for what we are not guilty of? In apologies, you need to know the measure. Here's a list of things we shouldn't apologize for

1. The period of menstruation

Maybe your man is sulking at you because sexual pleasures have come to an end for some period, you should not apologize for this. Let him sulk at Mother Nature. You didn’t choose such a “pleasure”, it was imposed on you by evolution. So why apologize? Well, if he does not understand this, then he is worthless.

2. Small (large, soft, sagging, etc.) breasts

The fact that your chest has become just like that, and not some other, again, is not your merit. And the fact that you will begin to apologize for her will not change the matter, but on the contrary will create the impression that she is in fact the fruit of some of your ill-conceived “frauds” or, in general, “meditations”. Your man has no right to reproach you with the fact that your breasts have developed regardless of his preferences. And that means you don't have to apologize for it.

3. Number of former partners

The fact that you apologize to someone for having previously had sexual relations with this or that person will not make it easier for you or the person you are apologizing to. What is done is done. And if your current boyfriend suddenly got you a "boy", this is not your merit, but his. You can’t change the state of things, which means you shouldn’t waste your nerves on such apologies.

4. Pimples

Gathered for a dinner party, and suddenly a pimple popped up on your face. Will you apologize? Not worth it. The pimple won't go away. And it won't improve your mood. Although, no, to your partner, maybe yours: “Forgive me!” and will cheer you up if he belongs to the category of snobs, but it certainly won’t make you feel any better, moreover, neither mentally nor physically. You didn't drive that pimple on your forehead with a stick. So why apologize for something you didn't do?

5. Character

"I'm sorry I'm like this!" - a frequent response. But who is to blame for the fact that you were brought up by such a kindergarten, school, mom and dad and the whole society that has fallen on your shoulders. That's right, nobody. It may be necessary to change in something, but you should not apologize for the fact that you have such a nature, and no other. Breaking your personality for the sake of another, adjusting it to someone else is bad. Why doesn't he fit in with you? Right. He knew what he was getting into when he started a relationship with you. And therefore, it is not worth apologizing for your nature.

6. Makeup and outfits

Every woman has the right to choose the style of her makeup and outfits. If someone does not like something in her "outfit", let him not wait for an apology. Apologizing for the fact that you like yourself, but do not like others is stupid. It's not worth bending over for everyone. As well as apologizing for wearing make-up and outfits that you like and not them.

Conclusion

Do not rely on third parties. Apologizing to someone for something that does not depend on you means lowering your own self-esteem. Considering the opinions of others more than your own is a bad move, which in the future will definitely affect you and your life for the worse.