What is love. What is love - scientific explanation

Over the entire period of human existence, the concept of love has been understood by too many different designations. Each individual perceives it differently. What is this disease, emotion, feeling, condition, intimate attraction? But often they talk about love when they describe the relationship between the representatives of the male part of the population and girls. This feeling cannot be regarded as something one-sided and standard. Love is not an ordinary feeling or experience, it is a way of being of individuals with a certain worldview, values ​​and the presence of a set of qualities inherent in an individual in love. Love describes not so much words, but actions, the behavior of an individual, his actions and experiences.

What is love between a man and a woman

Infatuation, love, love-passion or love-habit, consumer or giving love are varieties of love between different sexes. In order to establish a condition that has a great influence on the development of love, it is enough to determine the foundation on which this feeling is built. Most likely it will be a social stereotype, physiological attraction, the state of the human soul, something that is at the head of behavior: mind or feelings. The nature and type of love is determined by the attitude of the subject to people or life, his perception of himself in society. This is a kind of reflection of the inner world of the individual.

Love is such a contradictory feeling, which is pursued, or run away from, it is highly valued or neglected. They rise from it or it destroys a person mentally and at the level of physical health. The stereotypes of intersexual love are shouted everywhere, be it TV, radio, books, advertising billboards. This is a certain social game, where everyone leads their own hunt, and having got prey, they create prosperous alliances. Is this really true? Initially, a person is interested in how to get the attention of his soul mate, to understand for himself whether he is loved or used. In the future, some are looking for ways to develop feelings, others are looking for time for their manifestation, others are looking for how to maintain a feeling of love. Some individuals are really looking for an opportunity to escape from this feeling, extinguishing in themselves every manifestation of it. If not everything is going smoothly between a woman and her lover and the feeling has disappeared, a more difficult task appears - how to stop suffering and torturing another, how to stop loving or part.

You can talk about love for a long time, in various direction vectors. First of all, it is care, disinterested, bringing only satisfaction to the life of both individuals. This is a kind of counterbalance to suffering for the individual. Everyone you meet, at least once, once dreamed of connecting his life with an individual who could change his existence, add colors of emotions to it and create harmony. At the same time, people tend to reduce such a sublime feeling to intimate attraction. Yes, of course, the traditional foundation of love is sexual desire. Since neuroscientists have proven after studying the brain activity of people in love that sexual desire is a goal-setting dopaminergic motivation that promotes the formation of pair bonds. First of all, as a fundamental factor, sexual desire appears in adolescence, when the values ​​and adequate worldview of the individual are not fully formed. For mature age, a more hidden manifestation of intimate intentions is characteristic. The subject is mistaken when he perceives a fleeting attraction or arousal as a source of love.

For a morally adult person, love is not an ordinary feeling, but a certain way of life with certain priorities such as: responsibility, respect, attention, mutual understanding.

Considering this feeling in the paradigm of psychology, it cannot be defined within the framework of a clear description of the actions or state of the individual. The manifestation of love is directly related to human perception. So there are several positions of perception of this feeling for the individual:

Zero position - "just" love. This is a manifestation of physiological attraction to a partner: it abruptly rolls over an individual, and also disappears, regardless of the will of the subject. A social pattern embedded in the consciousness of the individual. A quick and reckless stage in the formation of feelings, which often ends in disappointment of the individual. One of the couple allows himself to play the role of a person in love, playing out the "standard" behavioral norms of love, often imposed by society.

The first position is love and "I". It acts as the life position of an individual to receive more, even immediately, than to give to a lover. One of the subjects of love lives at the expense of the needs, needs of a person and the interests of the lover (love-want). Sometimes it manifests itself as “love-giving”: there is an interest in giving something, while the gift should be appropriate from the point of view of the person who wants it.

The second position is love and "you". Life position, when the interests and needs of a loved one are initially taken into account. It acts in the forms of "love-responsiveness" or "love-care". In the process, the individual, as a person, dissolves in his beloved, lives with the idea of ​​​​delivering maximum pleasure to his chosen one. Sometimes it develops into importunate guardianship over a love subject.

The third position is love and "we". A more loyal and rich life position. Considers loving individuals as a couple, how each individual is ready for change, what contribution they bring to the relationship. People, as a union of two individuals, see themselves as one, ready to understand and create love.

The fourth position is love and "life". With such a worldview, there are concepts of the future, past and present. The concepts of the existence of the world around a couple and people are considered. The subjects of love strive to see how capable they are of developing their feelings in order to save themselves in the future and give something not only to themselves, but also to the world, thanks to this feeling.

The fifth position is "angel". The life position of the individual, allowing him to become a source of love, its manifestation. It implies wise control of behavior, adequate dedication in the form of care. An individual brings pleasure and joy to caring for a loving person. With such a position in behavior, the individual is often the most self-fulfilled person. He has everything he needs, now he only cares about what he is ready to offer to his beloved.

The meaning of love in human life

For a long time, society has been trying to solve the problem: is it necessary to have a feeling of love in life. Nothing forbids just living without taking your thoughts off work, relationships based on mutual understanding and trust on an over-emotional feeling of love. Often an individual comes to the conclusion that it is supposedly easier to live without love, why is it needed at all. Everything in the world was not created aimlessly, there is a certain harmony in the existence of man. Without this feeling, human existence is doomed to destruction.

The judgment that this feeling is not necessary for a person arises on the basis of unrequited feelings, often manifested in a quivering youthful age. But unrequited feelings are not love. Love is a feeling of affection, responsibility for a partner, mutual understanding and support, when everything is done and created together and on a mutual basis. The personality psychology defines the love factor in human life as fundamental, although it has various variations and transformations, this feeling occupies an essential place in the existence of the individual. Psychologists describe men and girls as individuals with different mental structures, like two different poles. It is the feeling of love that allows them to unite and create a new beginning, respectively, to continue their race.

Love is an incentive for many in the creation of fairy tales, poems, legends and parables. She imprinted as an eternal image in paintings, sculptures and architecture created by talented people. This is an impetus for creation, development and creation of harmony. But catching the individual by surprise, sometimes such a feeling leads to disastrous consequences. One ancient parable says that the wise man who tried to help the boy understand the truth "what is love" failed to give a clear answer himself. The main thing that sounded in his speech is that feelings need time in order to test it for sincerity and strength.

: when you can’t imagine your existence without a partner, no one but your “beloved” seems better. In the beloved, the individual is able to see only good qualities. True love is the standard of calmness and balance, it allows you to see bad and beautiful qualities, helps to understand them and accept a person as he is.

Not only poets, psychologists, philosophers, but also doctors were engaged in describing the true manifestations of this feeling, and its interpretation remains difficult to this day. Love is able to appear spontaneously, like a drop of dew, born in the smallest act. Over time, mutual feelings turn into an ocean of love, covering not only the hearts of those who love, but also the world around them. Through the prism of love, a person is able to understand and realize a lot of new things, to create harmony in his life, to know himself.

Is it worth it to confess your love first

“Hide in a mink” is the most popular option of many when an inexplicable state appears, when a person realizes that he is in love. Not every man is in a hurry to be the first to be recognized, this is either a young man, a girl or a successful lady. The main reason that a person is afraid to show his feelings is the feeling when they do not accept or reject. Fear in response to feelings to hear ridicule from the subject of adoration. The reason for these fears mainly goes back to deep childhood or tremulous adolescence. This is a period when it is common for an individual to show his feelings more openly, at the same time it makes him vulnerable. The bitter experience of failure at this age carries over into adult life, prompting the individual to control his desires and emotions more carefully.

An interesting psychological fact is that representatives of different sexes lay categorically different meanings in love. Women invest the meaning "I belong entirely to the beloved." While men mean "I am responsible for my beloved." Often this results in a certain peculiarity, when it is more difficult for a woman to confess to her chosen one: “I want you”, and for a man: “I love you”. Due to such psychological characteristics, girls tend to fantasize superpowers to their lover. That he should guess about the feelings that appear through the prism of hints and begin to act himself. Representatives of the male sex put a completely different concept into such ladies' hints, for example, that the girl is just flirting, showing friendly care, or wants to show off her cooking skills. The girl in response to this perceives the inaction of the chosen one as indifference and unwillingness to make contact.

For most individuals, it is precisely the pronunciation of the phrase “I love you” that is difficult; for this, experts recommend referring to simpler forms of phrases. Such alternative expressions are, for example, "I want to be with you", "I like you", "it's nice to be with you". At the start of the development of feelings, this is enough. To develop a relationship or a more effective way to convey your feelings, you need to use both words and actions. However, requests for the importance of actions have always been bewildering in men, since there is a concept that a woman loves with her ears. But it's another matter when beautiful words are supported by sincere actions that help the representatives of the charming part of the population understand the seriousness of the partner's intentions.

Confessing love, psychologists first advise setting yourself up for two types of developments. After all, the answer of the beloved (lover) may turn out to be positive and not entirely. The chances of an individual who decides to have a revelation with his chosen one are fifty-fifty. Experts recommend that if you decide to confess, be aware of the options to fail. If a person hears a non-reciprocal response, it will be easier to retreat and the level of frustration will be less. Everyone is individual and everyone is looking for exactly their half. Having found it among millions of people, it is unthinkable to lose your chance, otherwise the “second” suitable half can no longer be found.

Society today breaks stereotypes. A strong half of the population - men, at the moment - softened their character, and the girls got used to the fact that everything needs to be taken into their fragile hands. Men just have to wait for everything to happen on their own. Confession of love is necessary! It will be ridiculous or not the way you planned all your life. Any emotional manifestation from the point of view of the psychological health of the individual must have an end, its denouement. You should not wait idly for a miracle to happen, you need to do it yourself.

Can there be happiness without love

The concept of love is interpreted as something important for the existence of an individual in society. On the other hand, there is a lot of controversy regarding life without this feeling. “The main thing in life is love” - sounds from almost all media in any country. You can live without this important feeling. The question arises, what would such a life be like? A subject deprived of love can exist like everyone else. At first glance, his life is no different: he goes for a walk with friends, watches TV, goes to work, eats, sleeps. Having everything important that he dreamed of from early childhood, he still feels an insatiable feeling of loneliness. Love is a feeling that can change life, it pushes for exploits, it contributes to every personality: people go in for sports, take care of their appearance, increase the level of self-education, everything to lay down their soulmate. Therefore, the main thing in life is love, which can rule the world and people.

Not every individual is capable of love. Sometimes, without meeting the same one or due to upbringing, a person is able to abandon the feeling of love, compensating with other emotions. For people who have not met their soul mate, it is common to create families with people who show a sense of care and attention. Let it be so, not mutually, they create new cells of society, come to terms with it, live happily. Someone is destined in this position to fall in love with a partner unexpectedly. A small flame of brightly colored emotions will flare up and a person will learn about the benefits of mutual love and a family created in harmony. Inevitable is the option that love will not come. There is a positive side - that moment of crisis will not come when this feeling is destined to go out and develop into a habit. Happiness without love exists, it is hidden in spirituality and personalities who are able to form a prosperous family on the basis of this.

How are loyalty and love related?

Based on the above material, it follows that love is a mutual, noble feeling, based on mutual understanding, mutual development, mutual support. Is there such a sublime feeling without fidelity?

The human quality that contributes to the manifestation of perseverance in relation to a certain event or subject, based on personal choice and attitudes, is commonly called fidelity. For a morally adult individual, love is a conscious choice. Only when both subjects create a common concept of existence, make a choice in the direction of creating a common good, developing family values, how they plan to live, a true feeling of love is formed. Accordingly, this is a conscious choice leading to maintaining fidelity.

Cheating is an act that implies not only the error of the individual, but mainly his immaturity and shortsightedness in creating relationships. But it happens that fidelity is kept in a relationship not only because of feelings. It happens when one partner is comfortable living in such an environment. In a meaningful and healthy relationship, the presence of love implies a sense of loyalty. Infidelity in a relationship where both partners do not value each other, do not want to develop together, is regarded as a betrayal.

How to forget an ex love

The feeling of love is not eternal, sometimes not mutual. Everyone who tries to feel true love must initially be prepared for disappointment and the loss of a loved one. Feelings experienced as a result of rejection in a mutual relationship or after the loss of a person you love, unbalance a person, lead to depression.

Experts offer various options to help reduce the level of suffering:

- realizing whether a person really loved helps to reveal subconscious feelings of affection or. A person needs to consider how honest he is with himself;

- try to change your life, make it as different as possible from the one that was. It is worth changing the circle of contacts, the phone number, getting rid of things reminiscent of a person (give what is possible to orphanages or refugee houses, unnecessary trash, then throw it away), without the possibility of changing the place of residence, change the situation in the apartment (new furniture or old, but located in a new way), change the daily routine;

- find an activity that contributes to the maximum distraction of your attention: sports, needlework, reading books;

- devote all the lost time to relatives, friends, let them help you;

- change your attitude to what happened - this is not a global catastrophe, you are alive and well, only a person has disappeared, your ability to love has remained with you. Take a lesson from what happened: happiness is created by us;

- you should never close yourself from new acquaintances, the world is full of surprises that await everyone;

- do not hold a grudge against a person, wish happiness and good luck, just let go.

You need to remember, a person who has left must leave only once, do not let him come back, do not humiliate yourself. Allow yourself to become happier, to find harmony, precisely because the person has left. Life gives a person a chance to live without the individual who made him suffer.

For centuries, poets and authors have tried to describe the concept of love. Scientists have also taken up this recently. But in no dictionary can you find an exact definition of this wonderful feeling. Although many of us guess the meaning of this word on an intuitive level. And for many, love is the main goal in life.

What is love

• Care. The ancient Greeks had many names for different forms of love: virtue, family affection, desire, and general affection. But all these forms of love have one thing in common: caring.
• Sympathy. Attractiveness and chemistry create a bond that allows people to bond. Without this romantic component, the relationship is nothing more than lust or simple infatuation.
• Respect. Mutual respect is a very important component of true love. You'll know you've found your soul mate when you can honestly say, "I've seen your good and bad qualities, but I still love you." While your partner feels the same way.
• Responsibility. Whether it is parental or conjugal love, we are responsible for each other. Knowing that your partner cares about you and will have your back in case of danger always warms the soul. But you should not impose on your loved ones what you think will be best for them. Care and responsibility must be shown gently and carefully, without infringing on the freedom of another person.
• Proximity. It is a crucial component of all relationships, regardless of their nature. Intimacy requires knowing the other person very well and creating an emotional connection with them. Over time, this connection strengthens and even develops, so that two people merge into one.

Love is not:

• Manipulation. "If you love me, then you must..." Sometimes people manipulate each other and put pressure on feelings. But for love, this is unacceptable.
• Making a compromise. Loving people often make compromises, and this is completely natural and normal. But if your partner asks you to change something about yourself, then this is not true love. A loving person will not change yours, but will accept you the way you are with all the advantages and disadvantages.
• Passion. Sometimes between people, desire and insane attraction flare up. This happens on a physiological level and does not apply to love.
• Love. Many people confuse with love. This is a very strong feeling in which a person's consciousness narrows. A man in love always idealizes the object of his love and, as a rule, this ends in disappointment. Falling in love can subside, pass completely, or develop into true love.

Opinion about love by experts from different fields.

Physicist: "Love is chemistry"

Biologically, love is a powerful neurological condition, like hunger or thirst, only more permanent. We say that love is blind, in the sense that we have no control over this feeling. Whereas passion is a temporary strong sexual desire associated with an increased release of chemicals such as testosterone and estrogen. When falling in love, the brain can release a whole host of chemicals: pheromones, dopamine, adrenaline, serotonin, oxytocin, and vasopressin. However, from an evolutionary perspective, love can be seen as a survival tool—a mechanism we unconsciously use to promote long-term relationships, mutual defense, and parental support for children.

Jim Al-Khalili is a theoretical physicist and Ph.D.

Therapist: "Love has many faces"

Unlike us, the ancients did not mix all the emotions we call "love." They divided love into several types.

Philia is a deep but usually non-sexual intimacy between friends and family members. It is called love-friendship. For example, it can be between soldiers who fought shoulder to shoulder in battle. Ludus describes a more playful attachment that is based on sex drive. May appear in . Storge- tender, family love that develops over a long period of time and includes goodwill, commitment, compromise, mutual respect and understanding. Agape It is sacrificial, selfless and unconditional love. pragma It is love that is controlled by consciousness. It may be based on selfish motives or attachment. Filautia is self-love. But do not treat it as selfishness.

Aristotle also said that in order to take care of others, you must be able to take care of yourself. This simple but brilliant idea will be confirmed by any psychotherapist. Eros is spontaneous love. They lose their heads from such love, but, as a rule, it does not last long. Either it will subside, or it will grow into another kind of love (filia, storge, pragma).

Love is all of the above. But don't expect to experience all these views with just one person.

Philippa Perry - psychotherapist

Philosopher: "Love is a passionate commitment"

The answer always remains partially elusive, because everyone's love is different. Love for parents, partners, children, country, neighbor, God. There are different types of love. It can be blind, one-sided, tragic, enduring, fickle, unconditional, selfless, and so on. At its best, however, all love is a commitment that we nurture and develop, even though it usually comes into our lives unexpectedly. That is why love is more than just a strong feeling. Without obligation, it's a simple infatuation. Without passion it is devotion. If we do not cherish and protect this feeling, we will, it can wither and die.

Julian Baggini - philosopher and writer

Romance Writer: "Love Makes All Great Stories"

What is love depends on where you are in relation to it. If a person loves and is loved in return, exists in love, then he feels happy and peaceful. Deprived of this, he may experience obsessions and overwhelming, physical pain. Love is the starting point for all great stories: not only romantic love, but also love for parents, children, family, country.

Joy Moyes - 2x Romantic Novel of the Year Award winner

Nun: "Love is free but still binds us"

Love is easier to experience than to define. As a theological virtue by which we love God above all else and our neighbors as ourselves, it seems remote until we encounter its embodiments: acts of kindness, generosity, and self-sacrifice. Love is a feeling that should not harm anyone, although it can be very expensive. The paradox of love is that it is completely free, but it strongly binds us with obligations. It cannot be bought or sold, nothing can be opposed to it. Love is the greatest blessing of life.

Katherine Woburn - Benedictine nun

What does love mean to you?

Psychologist Robert Sternberg proposes a theory that love has three essential components: intimacy, passion, and commitment.

• Intimacy- this is closeness and mutual support, partnership. It increases as the lovers draw closer and may not appear in a calm, measured life. However, in a crisis situation, when a couple has to overcome difficulties together, it is clearly expressed.
• Passion- this feeling . It culminates at the beginning of a relationship, but stops growing in long-term ones. However, this does not mean that passion is absent in a long marriage - it simply ceases to be an important motivator for a couple.
• Commitments- readiness to be faithful to another person. This is the only component of love that increases over time in any relationship - both long-term and short-term - and becomes an increasingly significant aspect.

Kinds of love

Depending on whether these components are present in a relationship, Sternberg identifies seven varieties of love.

1. Sympathy. Includes only one component - intimacy. There is spiritual intimacy, a feeling of tenderness, affection for a person, but there is no passion and devotion.

2. Obsession. There is passion, but no intimacy or commitment. As a rule, passion arises very quickly and passes just as quickly. This is the same love at first sight, which can remain a fleeting passion, or maybe develop into something more.

3. Empty love. There are mutual obligations, but there is no passion and intimacy. This is love by calculation (not monetary, of course), when a person judiciously, having weighed all the pros and cons, decides to remain devoted to his partner. This type of love is typical for couples who have lived together for a long time and have lost their emotional and physical attraction to each other, but.

4. Romantic love. Characterized by intimacy and passion, but no devotion. Relationships are similar to sympathy, but in addition to emotional intimacy, there is a physical attraction to a partner. This kind of love constantly pops up as a plot in literature and cinema (both in the classic play "Romeo and Juliet" and in popular women's novels).

5. Comradely love. A combination of intimacy and commitment. Passion is gone or never was. This love binds relatives, friends or spouses when the passion has passed.

6. Pointless love. An unusual combination of passion and devotion to a partner, but there is no spiritual intimacy with him. Such relationships often turn into a hasty marriage, when the couple decides to get married almost on a second date. However, if intimacy does not increase over time, such a marriage ends.

7. Perfect love. Includes all three components: passion, intimacy, devotion. All couples aspire to such relationships. And they can be achieved, but it is very difficult to maintain. This kind of love never lasts. This does not mean that relationships end in a break, they just lose one of the components, and ideal love is transformed into another kind, for example, into a friendly or empty one.

What is needed for the emergence of mutual love

Psychologist Elaine Hatfield, as a result of her research, came to the conclusion that in order for love to arise - mutual, bringing joy and satisfaction, or unrequited, leading to despair and - three factors must be present:

1. The right time. Be sure to be (ideally - both) willingness to fall in love with another person.

2. Similarity. It is no secret that people sympathize with those who are similar to themselves, and not only externally, but also internally - have similar interests, hobbies, affections.

3. Early attachment style. It depends on the personality of each. A calm, balanced person is more capable of long-term relationships than an impulsive and impulsive one.

Psychologists strive to understand the nature of love, but at present it is unlikely that at least one of them will be able to answer the question of why and how this feeling appears. But the phenomenon of love certainly needs to be studied. After all, if you understand the patterns of this feeling, then the reasons will become clear, which in the future can be avoided.

Love is the subject of controversy among scientists from the field of philosophy, psychology, physiology and other sciences. This is a question that has not lost its relevance over the years for experienced couples.

If you conduct a survey of the population regarding this phenomenon, then most likely, most of the answers will be from the category: "Love is when..." That is, speaking about her, we always turn to the heart, describing the different sensations that we experience when we love. How else? After all, no matter what they say, but love is a feeling, and no one will argue with that.

Love in different sciences

In short, love is a feeling of deep sympathy for another person or object. There is always an interest in who (what) you love, a desire to take care of him, give something to him and devote your time.

Biological interpretation

Each science has its own approach to the study of love. Chemists and biologists argue that it is based on the usual processes occurring in the human body. In particular, anthropologists have found that during the period of passionate love, dopamine is produced, which allows you to experience pleasure and gives a feeling of satisfaction. In addition, staying in this state reduces the feeling of fear, suppresses negative emotions due to the impact on the corresponding areas of the brain.

There is also a theory that we are attracted to each other by smell, which is not consciously perceived.

The evolutionary concept indicates that love is a tool for survival, as it helps to maintain long-term relationships, unite and support each other, and resist threats.

Psychology

In psychology, there are several definitions of love and concepts regarding its nature.

Love, from the point of view of this science, is the highest degree of an emotionally positive attitude towards an object, placing it at the center of one's own interests and needs. And also this strong stable feeling, due to sexual needs. A loving person seeks to take a key role in the life of the object of affection in order to arouse his interest and reciprocal sympathy.

According to psychologist R. Sternberg love has three components:

• passion(sexual attraction);
• intimacy(intimacy, emotional support, help, trust);
• obligations(loyalty to each other).

In classical psychoanalysis Z. Freud love reflects exclusively sexual attraction, which acts as a powerful stimulus for human development.

E. Fromm identifies two types of love: fruitful And unfruitful.

• The first is expressed in the manifestation of interest, care, involves inspiration, pleasure, knowledge of each other and self-development. This is a mature love based on mutual respect.
• The second - unproductive love - is associated with the presence of tight control over another person, the desire to completely possess him. This is immature selfish love. It does not lead to mutual development, but, on the contrary, destroys it. Such relationships are usually filled with various negative feelings.

According to A.V. Petrovsky, love is based on intimate attraction and is characterized by external manifestations of this feeling in relation to another person, the desire to evoke reciprocal love for oneself. It must have openness and trust. Lies have no place in it.

E. Hatfield highlights passionate love(sexual attraction and emotional outbursts) and compassionate(based on common interests and values, friendship, pleasant joint communication and mutual support). The ideal development of a relationship is the transition from passionate love to compassionate love.

Love, falling in love, passion, affection: what is the difference?

Of course, all these concepts are intertwined and it is not always possible to draw clear boundaries between them. Yet there are significant differences.

Love and passion

Passion involves a sudden onset of sexual attraction to a member of the opposite sex. It flows violently, is saturated with strong emotions and requires immediate discharge. Passion is often the initial stage of a love relationship, but it can also accompany them for a long time, flaring up in certain situations.

Passion is possible without love, it occurs only between sexual partners in order to satisfy sexual desire.

Love is a broader and more multifaceted phenomenon. It can be experienced for a husband (wife), and for a child, and for parents, and for a friend, and for a pet, and for a country, and for humanity as a whole. Therefore, love without passion is also quite common.

Love and infatuation

Falling in love is almost always the beginning of a romantic relationship. It involves the rapid emergence of feelings and sexual desire. Very often, falling in love is based on external attractiveness. Unlike passion, it may not be as intense and all-consuming and is usually longer in duration and more sublime. This is usually the first love, which often ends at the stage of falling in love.

Being in love is more superficial and less conscious than love. It may not yet have a community of interests, mutual support and respect. Ideally, with the development of relationships, falling in love should smoothly turn into love.

The essential difference between these phenomena is that, falling in love, we idealize the image of the object of sympathy, unconsciously strengthen its desirable sides of the personality for us, and do not notice the shortcomings. We love in it what “hooked” us and what we thought of ourselves. Over time, this image changes, and if we are disappointed and do not find other values ​​in a person, then the relationship ends. If we find new interesting sides in each other, we get closer spiritually, then a new stage in their development begins - love.

Unlike falling in love, love does not involve idealization of each other and self-deception. Loving, we accept the other person as he is, with all his virtues and weaknesses.

Love and affection

Love and affection are quite often in close union, and the longer the relationship lasts, the stronger this union. But they should not be confused, because it often happens that there seems to be no love between a man and a woman, but the attachment is strong.

A loving person always feels freer than someone who is simply attached to someone. Attachment is distinguished by such features as: dependence on another person, fear of losing him, the habit of being close to him, which is expressed something like this: “I absolutely can’t imagine life without him.”

Attachment is more passive than love. People may not show their feelings in any way, they are just ready to be there and tolerate each other. Love implies an active relationship: spiritual and physical intimacy, care and mutual support, joint leisure, personal development of each other.

In affection, personal boundaries are often erased, a person, as it were, dissolves in his partner. And the one who loves never loses his "I" and inner freedom. Loving people respect each other's personal space and interests.

How to distinguish love from affection? What is love and addiction.

It is the union of love and affection that always has a positive effect on relationships, gives both a sense of security, reliability and tranquility. The main thing is that everyone experiences true happiness, being next to each other.

Kinds of love

Since ancient times, love has been divided into several types, depending on how and in relation to whom it is manifested.

Who do we love?

• Love for a romantic partner (boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife) suggests falling in love and passion as components of sexual satisfaction. Over time, they cease to dominate and give way (but they themselves do not completely go away) to other qualities of love: respect, mutual support, devotion, empathy. Romantic love has an important biological significance, creating and maintaining favorable conditions for procreation.

What is love for a man? First of all, it is the guarantor of a stable relationship, the opportunity to take care of a fragile and sweet chosen one, to be a knight next to her, to admire her and the fear of losing her. Also, love for men is expressed in a comfortable and cozy atmosphere in the family, regular and interesting sex and respect for personal space.

• Self love expressed in self-understanding, self-acceptance, adequate self-esteem and satisfaction with one's own personality. Self-love is the basis for other types of love, because if we are constantly dissatisfied with ourselves and experience internal discomfort, then we cannot fully give sincere love to others and attract people to ourselves. Therefore, one of the most universal tips for creating and improving various kinds of relationships is, first of all, to establish contact with yourself and start respecting yourself.
• Love for children is based on mutual affection, showing care, tenderness towards the child, the ability to sacrifice one's own interests for the sake of his health and development. The stronger the contribution to upbringing, the more trusting and warmer the child-parent relationship, the more harmoniously the baby's personality develops.

Maternal and paternal love are different. Mother and child are connected biologically and socially (because they were one before birth). Father and child have only a social bond. In this sense, the mother has more experience in knowing and understanding the baby. It is usually more difficult for a father to capture his needs, he is inclined to connect his mind (but this tendency is by no means typical for everyone).

• Love for parents is based on affection, which was formed in infancy, and on gratitude for the care and upbringing.
• Love for people which in action is called altruism. This is selfless help to everyone around, self-sacrifice for the sake of others. A person experiencing such love is always ready to do charity work.

Stages of love

This feeling is always in development and goes through a series of stages since its inception.

Signs that a person is in love

How to understand that this strong feeling has surged? Usually a person changes both physically and psychologically.

1. He begins to carefully monitor his appearance, because he wants to look more attractive in order to evoke a response from the object of love.
2. Smiles and tries to maintain eye contact with the one he is in love with.
3. When meeting with a loved one, she may experience excitement, which is sometimes difficult to hide (redness of the skin, trembling in the limbs, etc.)
4. When communicating, he tries to reduce the distance, wants to touch.
5. The desire to constantly be near the beloved (lover): looking for a meeting, writes, calls. In any way he tries to remind himself.
6. Behavior can change dramatically. A person can drastically change habits, get carried away with new activities, etc.
7. He seeks to take care of the one he loves: he sacrifices his own interests and time, he wants to do something nice.
8. Ready to constantly talk about who he loves in a circle of friends and girlfriends.
9. He is interested in everything that his love object lives in (facts from the biography, hobbies, preferences, etc.)
10. He sincerely shares his thoughts, emotions, talks about himself.

Love is always interesting in all its aspects and manifestations. But no matter how much we talk about it, we can understand what it is only when we experience this feeling ourselves. Love and take care of your relationship if the inner voice tells you that “here it is - true love has come!”

Is it possible to love two? Polygamy. Monogamy.

Useful articles:

Hello people people. Finally I got to this topic. In fact, it would be much more correct to understand for yourself, and at the same time tell your readers What is love in the very first week of blogging. But then I didn’t do it, so today I will rehabilitate myself in front of readers and the blog.

I prepared for today's topic very, very responsibly, because this article reveals a good half of my blog, which means that I can’t even imagine in a nightmare to approach the issue carelessly. I am not interested in what love for the motherland, children, parents, friends or relatives is. Today I want to analyze what love is between a guy and a girl, between a man and a woman. It is classic heterosexual love, in the truest sense of the word. I started with the standard action in my case, I turned to the search engines: “Okay Google, what is love?” - I began a dialogue with the means of modern communications.

For two days I shoveled the Internet, outlined the most important and significant points, studied the works of psychologists, philosophers, poets and even doctors on this issue. And today, after hard work, I can say with confidence that I am ready to fully and completely answer this question of interest to all of us. Immediately there will be a request to all of you: if the article turns out to be really worthwhile from your point of view, please share it with your friends in social networks, for me as an author, this will be the best gratitude. There, under the article, there are special buttons for social networks, you will understand in general.

Love - what is it

What is love in your own words

In my mind love is those feelings that can change a person and his attitude to everything in the world, change values, change priorities, attitude to life, to yourself, and even more so to the object of love. Love is a kind of need, a need for a person, for his presence in life. sometimes love can inspire a person to exploits, or vice versa, equalize with shit.

In my life I happened to observe one most interesting case, when one of my friends, because of unrequited love, turned into a complete schmuck in a short time. For several years he led the life of a houseplant, drank, blunted, grew long, because of the vegetable lifestyle, forever dirty hair. He was boring, boring and generally negative such an individual. But a few years later he fell in love with another girl, and the person became unrecognizable. He began to engage in amateur bodybuilding, cut his hair, freshened up, became a constantly positive dude, the soul of the company. If I had not watched this story for several years, I would not have believed that such a wonderful reincarnation happens in the name of love.

It seems to me that the feeling of love has an incredible power, which can be both positive and crushing. As the ancient legends say, Troy also fell because of love. But you know what is the most important thought that I once learned in my heart: you can’t love “for something”. For some actions, you can respect, appreciate, cherish, but not love. Love is such a thing that happens contrary to all human laws, which absolutely does not make friends with either logic or common sense. The most appropriate words that can be applied to true love: " Despite everything"! Love cannot be planned, you can never fall in love because you want to fall in love. No wonder they say that love overtakes suddenly, and as a rule, unplanned.

But again, this is just my thoughts, which were written before the study of the issue of love on the World Wide Web.

How to know what love is

To answer the question of what love is, the first thing I looked at was Wikipedia, where I found this term:

"Love is a feeling peculiar to a person, a deep affection for another person or object, a feeling of deep sympathy."

In principle, a fairly good answer to the question of what love is, briefly and clearly. But is it really so easy to answer this question? It seems to be short, it seems to be concise, but still something is not right. After all, if you look, the answer to the question of what love is for a person is sought from the very beginning of the existence of mankind. And Wikipedia once, and answered. I do not believe.

In general, it’s interesting, if you ask the question what is love for ten different people, at least one of them will answer the same way? Hardly. And although there are a lot of theories and terms of love in literature, psychology, chemistry, culture and other layers of science and art, it has not yet been possible to find a specific answer that will fit in one paragraph. After all, love is different for each of us. For some, it’s just suffering and sacrifice, for others it’s interesting adventures and unprecedented madness, for others it’s a quiet family haven, and the fourth never thought about the question of what this love of theirs is.

How many people, so many stories, experiences and emotions. So forgive me for such a long article, but in order to answer the question of what kind of animal they call love as fully as possible, I will have to bring different points of view from different sources.

What is love at first sight

A lot of controversy arises about the very existence of the term "love at first sight". Many skeptics are in a hurry to argue that there can be no such definition, that this is nothing more than a surge of hormones in the cerebral cortex. However, as an author, I am ready to argue with any such skeptic, because I managed to feel all the power and cruelty of love at first sight. Sorry, I won’t tell the story now, firstly, it is long, and secondly, censorship will not let it through. 😳

It happens like this in life: once you see a person, you fall in love with him to the ends of your consciousness, and no one and nothing can erase the imprint of this look from your life. claims that the fatal glance at the moment when this very “love at first sight” occurs always lingers on the object a little longer than our gaze lingers on a casual passerby, or even on a very nice-looking person. Why people fall in love at first sight has not yet been answered by science, but it has been proven!

What is love at first sight? On this topic, I really liked the works of the famous Italian psychologist Francesco Alberoni, who claims that we are ready to fall in love at first sight when our unconscious seeks to change our world. Love at first sight According to Francesco, comes into our life at that moment, When we completely dissatisfied with what is happening in it. And they are dissatisfied not at the mental level, but at the psychological level. When our life energy goes off scale, we are already ready to disown what was with us before, and at the same time we have enough strength to change our lifestyle and make new experiences.

Love at first sight happens when deep in our hearts we would like to get new opportunities, activate previously unused resources, explore unexplored worlds, realize unfulfilled dreams and desires.

As a vivid example of this moment, Francesco Alberoni cites the experience of graduation at school. When the old life is over, when there is a lot of strength in the body and soul to experience something new, to explore something unknown. To create and create a new life. When we are ready to free ourselves from old shackles, habits and all past life.

And it is at this moment that at the sight of a pretty individual of the opposite sex, a toggle switch can work in the head, in mythology this toggle switch was called cupids, who pierce the hearts of previously free people with their arrows, driving their minds crazy with love. The main task of cupids was to hit the heart at the very moment of eye to eye contact. Again, the most interesting moment, according to Mr. Alberoni, one glance is not enough. In order for the effect to be fixed in our brain, it would be great to hear at this moment the voice of the person with whom we are about to fall in love. The voice becomes a control shot, powerful chemical reactions take place in the cerebral cortex and that's it, we are already ready to throw off the old shackles and start a new life.

But, alas, love at first sight is realized in a very small percentage of cases. In most cases, this becomes a painful torment, because in order to start a new life and say goodbye to the old one, only inner desire is not enough, you also need the courage to give up everything that was your life before.

The most successful version of love at first sight is when two people of the opposite sex are in approximately the same psychological state of dissatisfaction, and cupids fall into their hearts at the same time. Stopping such "doves" is unlikely to succeed. But this happens extremely rarely, the variant of chance is too improbable.

In most cases of Cupid's hits, the fear of changing something prevails, and only a feeling of emptiness and sorrow for unsatisfied love remains in the soul.

What is love can not be explained ...

And here are some wonderful poems about love by Ani De-Arselyan I found on the proza.ru project:

“What is love, it is impossible to explain.
What is love? it's simple and complex
This is bitterness and tears, dreams and separation,
These are tender meetings and sweet torments.
What is love? cannot be explained.
To understand this, you just need to LOVE!

As for me, these lines contain the deepest understanding of love. After all, love is not always pure and brings joy to people. I think that the feeling of love brought torment to mankind much more than pleasant and joyful minutes. After all, it often happens that in order to understand what we really loved, we need to lose forever the person to whom our love was directed. Absurd, stupid, but this is the whole nature of human love.

Bible passage about love

The Bible explains the word “love” in Corinthians 13:4–8.

“Love is long-suffering and kind. Love is not jealous, it is not boastful, it does not exalt itself, it does not behave indecently, it does not seek its own, it is not irritated, it does not count insults, it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth, it endures everything, believes everything, hopes for everything, endures everything steadfastly. Love never goes away."

What is love, the meaning of the word love

According to the large Russian dictionary of the explanatory language:

“Love is a feeling of affection based on sexual desire; the relationship of two persons mutually connected by this feeling.

What is love - scientific explanation

It is interesting how scientists in different fields explain what is called love. What is love according to science:

What is love in medicine

On the Internet, you can find many sources that claim that the World Health Organization (WHO) has included love in the list of diseases, and even assigned it the international font F63.9. These sources claim that love has entered the category of diseases "Disorder of habits and inclinations, unspecified", and even a whole list of symptoms of this disease was published:

• intrusive thoughts about another person;
• sudden mood swings;
• self-pity;
• inflated self-esteem;
• interrupted sleep and insomnia;
• thoughtless and impulsive actions;
• headache;
• pressure swings and obsessions.

But following these publications, Ria Novosti published a refutation, with comments from specialists - researchers who all as one claim that this is nothing more than a duck that has successfully spread over the network. So don't take it to heart, let's go further down the list.

What is love - chemical definition

From the point of view of chemistry, love is a process more physiological than spiritual. Those sensations "in the soul" that we experience during "attacks of love", as shown by brain research, are displayed in our brain.

Turns out, when we are in love, there is a real hormonal explosion in some parts of our brain. In some parts of the brain, the substances 2-phenylethylamine (by the way, it is part of the amphetamine group) and dopamine are synthesized. It is during the production of these substances that we feel “symptoms of love”: the heartbeat quickens, blood rushes to the face, we are overwhelmed with a feeling of euphoria and other acute feelings.

But this is not all the chemical reactions of the manifestation of love. In the female brain, during “outbursts of love”, the substance oxytocin is produced, which is most directly related to female orgasms, and in the head of a man, love produces nitric oxide, which, oh, how great it affects a male erection.

What is love in psychology

In the psychological dictionary, love is denoted by the following term:

“Love is an intense, intense and relatively stable feeling of the subject, physiologically conditioned by sexual needs and expressed in a socially formed desire to be one’s own personally significant features with the maximum completeness represented in the life of another in such a way as to arouse in him the need for a reciprocal feeling of the same intensity. , tension and stability” .

In another source, love is denoted by the following term:

"LOVE is a moral and aesthetic feeling, which is expressed in a selfless and disinterested desire for a certain personality with its individual originality."

To be honest, even for me, a person who once received a diploma in psychology, the above texts are difficult to read. Which of them can we conclude?

In psychology, love is seen as the desire to be with another person, to be disinterested, and at the same time, by its presence, evoke reciprocal feelings in this person. Moreover, it is very desirable that the reciprocal feelings were of the same strength. And of course, all this parsley is backed up by our sexual needs in relation to this person.

What will you add here? Dry, concise, but at the same time correct.

What is love according to Freud

You can't talk about the psychology of love without mentioning Sigmund Freud. Freud was an interesting person, on the one hand, he was well versed in human psychology and managed to leave a memory of himself in the history of psychology as the greatest psychologist and psychotherapist of all time (although modern psychology has already managed to refute many of his theories). But on the other hand, they say that Freud was a latent homosexual who liked men, but because of the mores of that time, he was forced to suppress his desires in himself, forcing them into the sphere of the unconscious. Can such a person adequately explain to you and me what love is? Let everyone decide for themselves, but personally I consider it my duty to add his ideas to the text of today's article.

According to Freud, love excludes any spiritual principle in itself.. A man's love for a woman in his theories is analogous to a child's love for his mother. That is, love is nothing but true gratitude, which is manifested in devotion and fidelity to a woman for feeding him. So thank you for your concern. According to Freud, love is generally inaccessible to women, since they are “narcissistic” creatures who find only love for themselves in a man.

What is love in terms of philosophy

Of course, philosophers throughout history have also tried to understand what love is. Socrates, Plato, Augustine, Aristotle, Pascal, and many others touched on love in their philosophical works. Excuse me kindly, but I am not going to cite their works here. Firstly, an already long article will become extremely long, and secondly, it will be boring and uninteresting. The only thing I will allow myself is to describe briefly the conclusions that the outstanding minds of history made.

At Socrates love was considered as a kind of special state of the human soul and its relationship.

Plato He considered love as a relationship of two unequals: one loves, and the other is beloved. In the teachings of Plato, there is one most interesting idea: in his opinion, love in the human body has two principles that live in a person at the same time, constantly igniting internal conflicts. The first is the desire for pleasure - an absolutely immoral principle, incapable of high experiences. The second is sublime love, which Plato admired openly. According to Plato, love is something ideal, which makes a loving person much more brilliant than one who has not known love.

Aristotle in his works, he assures that in love a person’s confidence is manifested, which he had never seen before.

Epicurus considers love solely in terms of amorous pleasures.

Augustine in love, he considered a certain mystical ability to know the world. He argued that we can know the world to the extent that we love.

Pascal continued the thought of Augustine, considering love as a driving force to the knowledge of God. Moreover, according to his teachings, to love God certainly means to hate yourself.

Descartes and Spinoza viewed love as purely a physical passion.

Feuerbach teaches that love is such a sensual and passionate relationship between a man and a woman in which the lovers constantly complement each other.

Solovyov considered love to be a constant exchange between loved ones who asserted themselves in the other. According to his teachings, the main goal of love is to overcome selfishness.

What is the difference between love and infatuation

Great question! Very often love is confused with love, and vice versa. In general, these two feelings are very similar to each other, with one major difference - falling in love is a fleeting, fleeting feeling that comes quickly, but also quickly goes away. Falling in love is associated with infantilism, with the desire to do stupid things, with sensuality, passion and intolerance.

Love is a peaceful, peaceful feeling.. This is a gift, a gift of oneself to a person without demanding anything in return. This is trust, this is a desire to help a loved one, this is a desire for goodness and happiness. Love is connected with efforts on oneself, with self-discipline, with the ability to endure.

What is love video

Summing up: is there love

Well, we seem to have come to a conclusion. Considered love from almost all possible sides, it's time to put a bullet under the exclamation point. So, I think I'm ready to answer the question: what is love and is it.

What is love, the answer to the question

Love is the desire of a person to be close to another person.. It exists and there is no doubt about it. But at the same time love is something that cannot be understood and felt. It cannot be measured by any scale, it cannot be deduced into magnitude or determine the degree. Love is the highest gift of mankind, at the same time as the most terrible curse. The power of love is phenomenal. It can carry both a creating effect and a destructive one. All ages and all peoples are submissive to love, but not every person manages to know the true, highest feelings of love in his life. You can't plan love, you can't predict it. Love is directly related to the physiological processes of our body, causing chemical reactions in the cerebral cortex. Love at first sight "shoots" usually in people who are dissatisfied with the course of life who are full of vitality and deep down dream of changing something. Love can be both extraordinarily beautiful and ruthlessly cruel.

Epilogue

Perhaps you can’t say better about love:

Love each other, experience this highest feeling and don't let your heart forget what love is.

With love, Vitaly Okhrimenko !

sources:

99 comments on “What is love for the opposite sex? Arguments of science and life”

Vitaly, well, you did a great job on the article!
No matter how many people search for the answer to this question, it is difficult to find. In fact, everyone has their own answer. That's the kind of love she is.

Yes, oh, this love. Indeed, the question that humanity has not yet unraveled, and all the arguments are more guesses and assumptions.

The article is just flying away, to be honest, I have not seen a better article on this topic. All in fact and to the point, it was interesting for me and my wife to read. Thank you!

In fact, we seriously worked on the article, Vitaly, tried to consider all sides.
As for your story about a friend. If a person stops looking after himself, becomes a "chm", then this does not mean that he loves - most likely, he is addicted. Not love, but addiction. Such feelings may well be attributed to the disease. But most likely, a person simply feels like a Victim in life (as a psychologist, I think you understand what I mean). And he needs to work on himself and work. Because otherwise, even a new love will not save: very soon, when the euphoria passes, it can develop into a new addiction.

Thank you so much Roman for such a great review. I really hope that Yandex and Google will also appreciate my work and put the article in the top

Hello Svetlana!
No, you are wrong. Many years have passed since his "rebirth". Since then, a lot of water has flowed under the bridge, he is married to another girl (there was no mention of her in the described story), he moved to live in Moscow, a completely adequate and successful guy. So please forgive me generously, your theory was wrong.

Here is the article, here it is! Well done Vitaly, worked hard!

I really liked it, although the topic is very complex, but the author managed to reveal it from different angles, I think everyone who reads the article has found himself.

I don't care, I don't recognize love! For me, it is just feelings that flare up between people by chance and eventually subside and develop into a simple affection!

I completely agree that this is just speculation and speculation. For me, love, for example, is something sacred that needs to be protected and protected.

I also read the article aloud to my husband (already my throat was dry). We agree with many of the points described in the article. There was a lot to discuss.

Well, maybe he did a tremendous job on himself and a new love helped him in this.

I agree that over time, love develops into a habit. There are common responsibilities, children, maybe business and people already live together by inertia. But nevertheless love exists.

I think this happens in 93% of cases out of 100. But still, I believe that there is a place in life and 7% of love to the grave. At least I had to contemplate two such examples in life. Who knows, maybe if you dig deeper, then everything is not so smooth there, but I want to believe that everything is really smooth!

And for what you need to constantly work on yourself!

I am very glad that I helped your family pass half an hour of their lives.

Whatever it was, she changed him for the better, and that's good!

Hi Ksyusha! Thank you for your feedback, I really worked “for quality”, it’s a pity Yandex and Google have not yet appreciated my work.

My husband and I often discuss your articles. Somewhere our views coincide, but sometimes our opinions are absolutely polar. But if the articles are discussed, then this is a big plus for the blog.

Why not appreciated? Do you have a very good growth in attendance or am I mistaken?

I agree with Sergei that no matter how much they write about love, don’t sing songs about it, don’t try to discover its laws, no one will succeed.
But Love is good because it will always remain a secret of human relations.

Yes, it is immediately clear that Vitaly has done a great job writing an article about Love. I read with pleasure, remembered something, experienced it again.
Thank you for the article touching the subtle emotional feelings.

Attendance is growing (pah-pah). But when asked what is love, I am very far from human attention in the issuance

Why not! Love cannot be seen or felt, it can only be felt, and when you feel it, you will never forget this feeling.

Just blogging about the love of a wagon and a small cart. But there is an incentive to strive forward and overtake all the blogs that have stayed in the TOP.

I have never seen such a complete study of love. Lots of curiosity.

Thanks for the flattering review. Comments like this make me want to work!

Tried to reveal the theme of love in the most complete form!

I also believe in love to the grave. And even a person can be at a distance. And you just keep this feeling deep in your heart.

And I really liked how you wrote about love at first sight. I think your explanation of why she's coming hit the nail on the head. For a long time I also thought about the question of when and why love comes to a person, and I had similar thoughts. Love, it seems to me, arises when a person emotionally needs it, when he is ready for it, and here it is not even necessary to meet the right person. It's just that someone catches you with something, and away we go ...

I agree that the article is written in an accessible and understandable way for a wide range of readers.

It is rightly said that love comes unexpectedly. This is why casual relationships are dangerous, you don’t think, but you will fall in love with another person.

Many feel love, but they cannot express what love is, and if they express it, they will express it incompletely.

The article gives a large retrospective of views from ancient times. The author is more inclined to Aristotle's point of view that love can inspire a person to exploits.

The stranger did the work on himself on his own, but love forced him to do it.

There is an incentive to write a second article about love, and then a third. You get a series of articles about love and you can go to the top.

Love to the grave exists, I myself have seen such couples. But love to the grave does not visit all people.

Love exists, but it does not last long. What determines the life of love, I do not know.

Love lives inside a person and it is impossible to describe it in any words. They have not yet come up with such expressions with which it would be possible to express real feelings.

Rather, love visits a few couples from all over the world. And I want to be equal to such couples.

For me, casual relationships have enough dangers and others, love is the least evil, if any evil.

It seems to me that it depends on how much they try to save it.

Yes, Yaroslav, I believe and know that love is able to motivate for exploits. But on a par with this, I believe and know that it is capable of bringing a lot of grief into life, destroying life, destroying a person. But it is still better to live with love than without it!

For what? I believe that the article is over, and I don’t see the point in sucking the second or third part out of my finger

That's right, it's not forgotten. And here is another life pun: if sincere love remains unfulfilled, then you will remember it until your last days, and if you realize it, then your loved one will eventually become familiar, sometimes boring, sometimes meticulous. Over the years, the number of mutual claims increases, and those feelings that once were are already transforming into something else ... different

How to know, how to know. Not only is love itself evil, but in this world you can remember a lot of stories when because of love something collapsed, someone was killed, even entire civilizations were wiped off the face of the Earth (we remember about Troy). So evil in the name of love has a place in our lives. ALAS.

Irina, whether love is evil or not, everyone decides for himself and gives his own assessment of love.

Vitaly, Othello loved Desdemona very much and what he did in the name of love. Killed his lover. Evil in the name of love.

If love is unrequited, then it brings destruction. From unrequited love, someone commits suicide.

I think that claims arise from the initial ignorance of the partner's habits; over time, claims will become less.