How to be wise in relationships. Women's wisdom

Historically, it is believed that wisdom is a kind of deep understanding of reality, the ability to analyze, but remain impartial in one's judgments.

Ideally, a wise person should have such qualities as moderation, detachment, tolerance and patience, peacefulness, modesty and altruism, integrity, as well as courage and willpower. He must master himself, simply be spiritually perfect.

It is also believed that wisdom comes with age, but is it true? We are not talking about worldly experience, there is no getting away from it, but to be impartial in judgments, to understand others, not to judge?

Why, then, only a few can gain wisdom?

The main enemies of wisdom are emotions and prejudices.

Emotions, because wisdom implies calmness and endurance, as well as great patience, which emotional people by nature lack.

The second enemy of wisdom is the construction of one's point of view into an absolute, which is characteristic of intelligent, as well as mature people. They are characterized by template, stereotypical thinking, obsession with their own prejudices,. They refuse to even understand the point of view of others, believing that their experience (mind) automatically puts them higher, and it is their opinion that is the only true one. Being blinded by one's own prejudices makes people aggressive, which is very far from wisdom.

But here are the words of Socrates: "The wisest of people can only be the one who is able to admit that he knows nothing."

• Have your life philosophy, life credo. But at the same time, be able to understand others, go beyond your usual patterns and stereotypes, thinking and habits.
• To see the essence of things is not a consequence, but a cause, to understand the relationship between things. Understand what is behind the superficial behavior, emotions, words of other people.
• Be patient with others, manage your emotions, remain calm in any situation.
• Be able to apply your knowledge and share it, teach others.
• Be able to speak, find the right words, convince without entering into disputes (for example,).
• To be able to understand and accept all manifestations of life, to forgive.
• Be above the situation, not in the situation.
• Be unpretentious, be content with what you have.
• Be able to find something worthy of study everywhere. Learn a useful lesson for yourself from every seemingly insignificant thing.

“Listen before speaking, find out before judging, understand before deciding, and always remember that every person has both a good and a bad beginning. Here it is, the basis of wisdom” Maurice Druon.

But how do you become a wise person?

Try to stick to these principles and also meet your inner "wise man".

Here's how it's done: in your imagination, you create an image of a certain wise person, imagining him as anyone, the main thing is that you associate him with wisdom. For example, a Buddhist monk or a wise old man. Endow him with the above principles and in difficult situations, contact him, imagine how he would act in this or that case. Better yet, project, impose this image on yourself, and perhaps you will achieve the desired wisdom.

Parables and legends are composed about female wisdom. Wisdom is a gift from above, a special power of a woman. This is not an innate quality, it will appear only when a woman changes her own outlook on life. A wise woman achieves, creates harmonious relationships and is able to carry family values ​​through the years. A wise woman is listened to. She is asked for advice. How to become a wise woman?

Wise woman: what is she?

Wise are those people who do not know much, but what is necessary. (E. Safarli)

Being a wise woman is a whole science. However, there are not many secrets. A wise woman has rules for communicating with others and which she does not violate. What are they?

A wise woman is sure that people should be treated with indulgence. This concept includes not only the ability to understand. Condescension is the ability to find positive intentions in people's behavior. A wise woman is able to interpret the shortcomings of others or their mistakes in a positive direction for them. Faith in the people of a wise woman is unshakable. Believing in good intentions, a wise woman helps people become truly kind. She forgets insults, is happy to accept an apology, and herself.
A wise woman is sure that selfishness will lead nowhere. . Only a spiritually mature person is able to subdue his own ego and take into account the interests of other people. A woman, possessing wisdom, shows by her own example what a mature relationship is and helps others to get rid of selfishness.

A wise woman is sure that they will spread about problems in the family and personal life - a taboo. Such a woman does not "take out dirty linen in public." She will not call her friends at the slightest and tell in detail what is wrong in the family.
A wise woman creates an atmosphere in the house that will not become an obstacle to development, since each family member will know that they will support, understand and hear him. Such an atmosphere is created through the emotional mood of the woman herself. By creating a favorable environment, a woman helps to develop positive qualities and move forward.
A wise woman knows what it is. Whether there will be mutual tact in a relationship depends on the woman. It determines whether faux pas will be considered the norm. If inappropriate jokes, mutual upsets, malicious banter are acceptable for a woman, then a man will consider this normal. It is necessary to reckon with others in small things. Tact is the ability to choose words so as not to offend, not to offend, not to anger, but to help.
A wise woman is sure that politeness is a mandatory point of communication. She will not be rude in lines, make scenes in public places and blame a random passerby for all mortal sins.

Creating positive relationships with people along the way is important, but no woman will be happy if she does not achieve harmony in her personal life.

How to become wise in a relationship with a man?

Knowing the secrets of female wisdom, even an inexperienced girl will be able to build a happy relationship.

A wise woman does not go unnoticed by the strong half of humanity. She feels what men need to feel happy. Many people think that wisdom is the prerogative of old age. However, it is not. You can become wise regardless of age, and here's how to do it:

Treat your man the way you would like him to treat you. a person regardless of his social status or level of wealth.
Men need a sense of reciprocity, just like women. It is important for him to feel desired, needed, surrounded by care and loved.
A wise woman is herself. We all want to appear better than we really are. However, the masks sooner or later fall off and people are overtaken by disappointment. To avoid a hasty break when "all the cards will fall on the table", do not hide your character traits and choose a man who will accept you with all the positive and negative qualities.
A wise woman knows that a person becomes successful in life aspects when respect for each other as a person reigns in the family. In a happy couple, a man and a woman cooperate. For a woman, it does not matter whether the chosen one has the beauty of Apollo, whether he is wealthy and whether he knows how to be romantic. For her, the readiness of a life partner to cooperate is important.
Do not provoke quarrels and conflict situations. A wise woman does not fall into hysterics, does not reproach a man and does not give him unequivocal ultimatums. The negative aspects of the relationship are smoothed out by feminine softness and tenderness.

Who among us hates to hear praise? Men, like women, thrive on flattery and words of praise. Praise your husband directly on the forehead, no need to disguise or come up with lyrical phrases. An enthusiastic look and the usual words like “Great! Amazing! Cool!" will be enough. A wise woman highlights in her husband those qualities that she would like to see in him more often.
Every person needs to be needed and loved. Even in moments of an explosive quarrel, do not forget why you love your man.
There is a saying: “when it’s very good, it’s also not good.” Creating harmony in a relationship and pleasing a spouse are not the same thing. A wise woman will not do everything herself to please her husband. She will ask for his help and sometimes "forget" about an unwashed shirt or a three-course meal.

In a relationship, a lot depends on the woman. She is the keeper of the hearth and whether family life will be happy and relationships will be harmonious depends on her wisdom. Learn the wisdom of being a woman daily. Try to become better than you are today and help others in this.

Smart men don't part with wise women. It is easy to create a family with them and maintain a warm happy relationship. A wise wife, through her own actions and statements, maintains comfort and a pleasant atmosphere in the house.

And what comes out of it, I promised to tell about men. I am happy to fulfill my promise - today we will talk about What do men really want? and not the opinion of Helen Andelin.

Some readers in the comments expressed the opinion that the blogger should speak from his personal experience. Although I disagree with this and was going to write an article about what men want in a completely different format, I decided to listen and write about my personal experience. For variety.

Foreword: my friendships with men

I confess that all my life - from the time I can remember myself to this day, I have been engaged in an absolutely “unnatural” thing - I have communicated and made friends with men. Yes, I just talked and made friends, without any "ulterior motive". At first it was boys, then young men and adult uncles. These were strange and free men, completely different in social status, and in terms of education, and in worldview ...

Due to natural sociability and eventful life, I have seen a lot of men. Yes, I know that there are men who deny the very possibility friendship between a man and a woman, but you can find a common language with them. With some men we have been friends for decades, with others communication was short-lived. And I was confidant in their secrets of the heart - even those that they do not reveal to male friends.

I made friends with men not because I was not successful, "like a woman" - there were no problems with this, but I myself like very few "like men". It was simply interesting for me to communicate with men, and natural harmfulness also played a role - once I was told that it was impossible to understand men, and I decided to refute this. What you will read below are the conclusions drawn from this personal communication. I hope that men will forgive me the disclosure of their secrets?

What do men want?

So, what our men want? What do you think they talk about when it comes to relationships with their wives and lovers? They are upset that a woman does not understand them, does not share their interests, that there is nothing to talk about with her. Not one has yet complained that his wife is smart, but through one they complain that she is a fool. The most frequent complaints: "She lies to me" And "She doesn't care about me as a person".

I have never heard from a man that she “does not respect the Man in him” or does not wear a dress, but I saw indignation that she was trying to manipulate him by various means. By the way, overly “obedient”, dependent on relationships and selflessly obliging women who try to please them, do not cause enthusiasm in men either. They may brag about it in company, but on a relationship level, it depresses and disappoints them - everyone! We talked about this in the article.

And what do you think, what kind of friends to me - men gave advice when I shared the difficulties in my relationship? "Accept" or accept? Cook borscht or perfume? Show your weakness and dependence? Didn't guess! The advice has always been the same: "Talk to him directly - he should understand (explain)."

Conclusion: What do men want?— sincerity . And they get ... a set of women's tricks.

Yes, men are outraged when they are constantly criticized and trying to remake, scandal and demand. But this is a matter of banal tact, and not a specifically male feature. We don't like being criticized all the time either, do we? Another thing is that men have this tact more often, and therefore women should be reminded of it. This is almost the only sensible point from Helen Andelin - which, however, is understandable without her.

Men are not so dependent on relationships as to make a problem out of them. And if a woman is acting scandalous then they want her at least didn't get on their nerves. Men really breathe freely when a woman stops doing this - but this does not mean that all happiness for them lies in the silence of the house, and they do not need anything else.

Men and Women's Wisdom

Women sometimes resent the fact that men do not respect them and treat them consumerly. But often a woman herself, having picked up "wisdom" in women's trainings and advice from magazines, considers himself only a food processor, an air conditioner to "create an atmosphere" and an ornament all rolled into one - but not human who could be respected. And if men are not rude to women, then, most often, only because respect myself , not them.

Often the only thing that interests a woman from childhood is: how to become so irresistible as to more easily "wrap" a man. Do you think men don't see these tricks? Almost everyone sees it, but they are silent about it and play along, because they have long despaired that normal human relationships are possible with a woman. They are content with what they have - they simply enjoy the comfort that is created for them.

"Women's Wisdom" inspires us that a smart, successful and self-confident man wants to have a life partner in the form of a fluffy homely creature that looks into his mouth, brings slippers, creates an atmosphere and cannot connect two words, except for "You're right, dear ! Some people are flattered by such a creature, I don’t argue - but these are just men with “problems”, to put it mildly, no matter how hard you try ...

Women's wisdom says that in this way we help a man become successful and self-confident. But why do you think that without you he does not and cannot have confidence and success? What kind of arrogance is this? If he is successful - then by his own choice, if not - too. Yes, we can hinder or help him in this, but you should not take on so much - our role in this matter is not decisive or even leading.

A normal, morally and mentally healthy man does not need just a well-groomed “keeper of the hearth”, obsessed with her “femininity” and preoccupied only with order, dinners, children and warning of his whims. He needs a comrade-in-arms - a full-fledged partner with whom he can resist the vicissitudes of life together and build something. He wants to have a companion who can be consulted, who can be relied upon, who can be trusted, who understands his interests, respects him as a person and is self-respecting herself. This does not exclude the division of economic duties, which also has its place.

But when the whole life together comes down to these duties - to playing the roles of wife and husband, the man rightly begins to suspect that they married him only so that he provides, hammers nails and compliments. For which, of course, you “pay” him with borscht, cleaning and “attention to his needs” ... - but personally, excuse me, you “do not give a damn” about him!

He is stuffy and lonely in that “atmosphere” that takes so much effort to create, and you don’t even guess with what pleasure he communicates with some employee who is not concerned about seeing in him a man who is an object of seduction, but respects him and shares his interests. If he still has not gone to this employee, then not because of the great “love” for you and the “fascination” with your “femininity”, but for completely different reasons. Do not flatter yourself, for all your weaknesses, men are not animals.

Do you know why there are no trainings for men calling to "become a real man"? Because no man consciously no doubt that he real. He considers himself courageous simply because he was born male - and not a single “guru” can prove the opposite to him. Just as he does not need to be constantly reminded that he is a man for the fact that they feel like themselves (although, of course, compliments are also pleasant to them).

In this, men are wiser than us, and it would be worthwhile to learn common sense from them. Nature is for that nature that it does not need to be artificially instilled in itself - it is already There is from birth. It is culture that needs to be instilled, not nature. Who inspired women that they were initially deprived of "nature"? You try to fight it - you will get tired! But nature in man must know its place - by no means the first.

I wrote so much that you are already confused, what do men want? Summarize. As for relationships, it turns out that in the depths of the soul men want the same thing as women. They enter into a relationship with the goal, above all, to have relationship as funny as it sounds. Sincere, human relations based on mutual trust and respect, and not a well-staged performance, behind the scenes of which loneliness is also hidden together.

P.S. I foresee that you will begin to be interested in the details of my personal life. Of the relationships I've had with men, the healthiest ones have been the ones that started out as simple friendships rather than "romance" straight away. No, this is not what "wise women" advise: “When you meet a man suitable for far-reaching goals, then don’t immediately jump into bed, don’t show it, but lead him on the hook, talk to him for a while, find out more…” They started out as normal human friendships, with no sexual overtones. And when, later, inevitable conflicts arose over “sex roles”, friendship (that is, respect and trust) remained, and it was possible to continue building relationships on this. With those with whom it immediately began with a sexual interest in romance (yes, this happened to me too) - everything was natural and ended there, despite following “wise advice”.

Do not forget subscribe- there will be a lot of interesting things about men and women. Now it's your turn - I'm waiting for your comments! Of particular interest is the opinion of men about what men want :)

© Nadezhda Dyachenko

Life is full of trials and surprises. Of course, every woman wants to be happy, dreams of true love and a lasting marriage. It often happens that at the very beginning of a relationship, a woman closes her eyes to some minor little things that do not suit her. After all, she is completely absorbed in a wave of feelings. However, over time, these very little things can become a stumbling block in a relationship with a loved one. There is irritation, quarrels and misunderstandings. Wisdom is required from every woman to get out of this situation without harming the relationship. So, a wise woman, what is she like?

By nature, women are incredibly emotional creatures. Sometimes this feature often interferes in personal relationships. It is also worth noting that not every smart woman is a wise woman. A wise woman needs the ability to be far-sighted, to be able to cope with her emotions, to be a woman, after all, and not compete in anything with her man. Below is a list of personal qualities that a wise woman possesses.

A wise woman is faithful, restrained, does absolutely everything for the well-being of her family. It is her mood that creates the weather in the family.

. A wise woman realizes that family life implies cooperation. She understands that spouses do not owe anything to anyone, because marriage, in her opinion, is based on deep understanding, respect and love.

. A wise woman is ready for dedication, without a trace she invests all of herself in building a strong and happy family.

. Women are creators by nature. A wise woman realizes the responsibility that lies with her. Her main tools are patience, understanding, love and sincerity. To be loved, to love, to develop relationships is in her nature.

. A wise woman is well aware that women and men love differently. Knowing this feature, she will not demand and expect from her husband those actions that correspond to the ideas of women's love.

. In family life, irritation often breaks into communication between spouses. It arises only for the reason that one of the spouses did not meet the expectations of the other. And this happens because too many hopes were placed on the first. A wise woman realizes that irritation is nothing more than a sign of bad parenting. She is well aware that this emotion is completely inappropriate and tries to deal with it immediately.

. A wise woman knows that there are no perfect people and she is no exception. Therefore, she knows how to forgive her beloved.

. Patience is one of the main qualities of a wise woman. It is this quality that allows her to keep her emotions under control. Although sometimes it is worth discarding all wisdom and turning to the mind. What if the person next to you is not worthy of you? Thus, patience can be both a woman's greatest asset and her worst enemy.

. A wise woman is a woman who knows how to live in harmony with herself and with the world around her. She is able to smooth the situation, avoid a stupid conflict.

. A wise woman knows how to be slow, smooth, sexy. She knows how to show weakness, to create the impression of insecurity. She is alien to the desire to manage everything, to compete with a partner.

As you can see, female wisdom presupposes the presence of a huge number of personal qualities. The path to gaining female wisdom is not at all hard work on yourself, but love. If you sincerely fall in love, you will notice how your (even the most explosive) character changes dramatically next to your beloved man.

A happy relationship is a special world where love, respect and understanding reign. The woman plays the key role here. After all, she inspires a man, protects the hearth and brings harmony to relationships. But not everything always goes so smoothly. Disagreements, criticism, jealousy, quarrels are typical problems that occur in many families and often destroy even the strongest union. What if everything went wrong? There is only one answer - to learn to be a wise woman. According to psychologists, this will help not only achieve heights, but also make family life more harmonious, vibrant and happy. Wisdom is a whole art. But each of you can know it ..

Portrait of a wise woman: what is it

Wisdom is a special power, using which a girl not only radically changes her life, becoming successful and beautiful, but also builds a strong family with her chosen one.

A wise woman is both an adviser, a mentor, and a friend all rolled into one. And she exudes calmness, friendliness and tact.

The representative of the beautiful half of humanity, who has wisdom, does not roll up a scandal from scratch, behaves with restraint and does not notice the shortcomings of a man. Selfishness is not for her. She forgets petty grievances and goes to reconciliation herself. And when a loved one is going through a black streak, a wise passion understands him in every possible way, shows support and believes in him.

Tact is another important quality. It manifests itself in the selection of such words that do not offend a loved one and do not hurt his pride. Also, a wise woman does not reveal all the secrets of her personal life to strangers. At the slightest quarrel, she will not call her friends and cry to them, but will prefer to deal with the troubles herself. It will pretend that everything is in order.

A girl with wisdom is not a stumbling block on the way to the development of a loved one. She, on the contrary, creates in the house just such an atmosphere that will help her soulmate achieve the desired success. The man is sure that he has support, he is understood and heard. Therefore, he grows, becomes more confident, courageous and strong. A wise woman knows perfectly well what makes him happy and contributes to this in every possible way.

You need to understand that female wisdom is a quality that is not inherent in us from birth. It manifests itself throughout life, when there are failures, losses and shattered dreams along the way. But in order to become a wise woman, it is not necessary to go through all this. After all, you can build an ideal relationship with a loving man without the experience of family life. To do this, you need to know a few secrets and rules that wise and successful women use.

1. Do not dissolve in your man, be an independent person

Many girls make a gross mistake in relationships - they devote all their free time and all of themselves to one single person. But you don't have to. After all, dissolving in a man, the real “I” is lost. Thus, interest in a woman fades, and relationships come to naught. Therefore, it is very important to be a self-sufficient, developed and interesting person. You must have your own life, where there is a place for your interests, books, films, meetings with friends and other events.

Seeing in front of him not only a beautiful, but also a multifaceted personality with whom there is something to talk about, a man will not go anywhere.

The young man should also have his own space. Therefore, support his interests and do not interfere with development.

2. Love, patience and understanding are the basis of relationships

Love your man, regardless of his financial situation and shortcomings. Appreciate him and in no case humiliate him, especially in the eyes of others. It is also important to learn to put yourself in his place. And only then you will understand it perfectly.

Patience is another important quality of a wise woman. We are all naturally sensitive and emotional. But sometimes such qualities interfere with building harmonious relationships. Therefore, it is necessary to learn how to manage yourself, especially in stressful situations. At the slightest quarrel, you should not be angry and lash out at your partner, even if he is wrong. Otherwise, you will say unnecessary words to each other, which you will later regret. During disagreements related to opinions, interests and domestic issues, try to remain calm and discuss everything quietly. And even if a man is wrong or has done something stupid, do not hold a grudge against him, but forgive him. Only in this case the union will be strong.

3. “No” to continuous duties and “Yes” to moments of joy

Having got bogged down to the neck in work, home and everyday problems, you should not forget that you are first of all a woman, not a robot. Constant overwork and lack of sleep will not make your life together happy. Feeling complete physical exhaustion and lack of a good mood, many girls splash out all the negativity on a loved one, from which a crack appears in the relationship.

It is very important to keep a balance between work, domestic duties and personal life. In your busy schedule, be sure to find time for joint joy. It could be watching your favorite movie, taking a walk in the park, having a romantic dinner at home, or even walking your dog.

To become wise in your relationship with a man, do not forget that family life is not entertainment, but cooperation. His main goal is to jointly build his future, where love, respect, as well as an understanding of common and personal goals are the very bricks from which a happy family is built.