How to behave if a man does not give gifts? Psychologist's opinion. What the f@ck: a man doesn’t give gifts. Why does this happen and what to do about it

A man doesn’t give you gifts, doesn’t want to invest in your relationship at all, or has he stopped doing this a long time ago? The lack of gifts should alert you and make you wonder if you are doing everything right in the relationship. Perhaps you do not know how to competently ask a man, thank him, motivate him and give compliments, and something is wrong in your inner female state, or the problem is in your man. Let's figure it out together...

First, answer yourself this question: do you like gifts?. Or maybe a man doesn’t give you gifts because he subconsciously feels that a woman from the opera is next to him: “I’ll buy everything myself”, “I’m not a philanderer or a mercantile person”. Girls have a lot of cockroaches in their heads on this topic, and then they still wonder why they are not shown signs of attention, are not showered with “millions of scarlet roses” and do not invest anything in them at all.

Fall in love with gifts, learn to ask for and accept them correctly, don’t be shy about it, and in return show your partner gratitude and surprise him. Surprise him - it should be a small surprise not related to the purchase of something, but interesting and memorable.

Simply imagining yourself in a state where you love gifts and receive them from all sides is not enough. We still need to eliminate the psychological causes, the roots of the problem. You won't be able to get your man off the couch with just an effort of thought and force him to give you gifts.

Why doesn't a man give gifts? Reason #1 – you didn’t ask.
Many girls wait for men to figure it out on their own. My beautiful ones, I have to disappoint you, they won’t think of it. They need to be asked to do it competently, “according to science.” Then you can get whatever you want from them. But don't rush to request a private jet right away. Start small.

Gradually accustom your other half to give you something, help you, provide assistance. Yes, at least ask him to carry a bag of groceries first - this is not yet a gift, but already a definite service for which you must thank him in words. Emphasize the importance of this service, tell him that you appreciate his help. That's enough for now. Over time, you will move directly to gifts, and their price will increase.

Remember: asking does not mean humiliating yourself. On the contrary, a successful man will perceive a woman’s request as a sign of trust in him, he will feel his own importance from this and will certainly show in your direction his best masculine qualities, noble aspirations and motives.

Why doesn't a man want to give gifts? Reason No. 2 - you didn’t ask for it.
Let's say you made several unsuccessful attempts to ask a man for something, but you were left with nothing - no new trough, no hut, no palace. You asked, and he ignored it or pretended to take it as a joke. In this case, you most likely did not ask for it.

Were you in a good mood when you made your request to him? Did you look him in the eye? Did you look feminine and sexy? Remember your unsuccessful attempts and, probably, reverse images will pop up before your eyes. And if you asked in a bad mood, pouted your lips in offense, looked around and generally behaved as if you were standing on the porch, then your failure is understandable.

The fact that a man does not give flowers and gifts upsets any girl, even if she seems independent and can buy everything for herself. At certain moments it upset you too. And instead of continuing to worry in vain, start experimenting.

You need to learn to motivate him so that he invests financially in your relationship, sincerely thank him, and give him compliments. Yes, representatives of the stronger sex also need compliments - words of approval and support. We love not only with our eyes, as you think, but also with our ears.

What kind of women do men give gifts to? Reason No. 3 – problems with the inner female state.
There are three types of women - minus, zero and plus.

Woman minus- this is the one next to whom her partner loses energy and money, it’s as if she is “sucking” the juices out of him. And even if she manages to “shake out” the gift, the giver still feels unwell, as if someone “got into his pocket.” And he should feel an emotional uplift - that’s why a man stops giving gifts. He made several investments, intuitively realized that they did not pay off, and over time his enthusiasm faded.

Is there some more woman-zero– I don’t want to do anything for her at all. It is neither cold nor hot, neither bad nor good. She does not have any influence on the life of her partner, and over time he can leave such a woman, break off relations with her, because a “lighter” has appeared on the horizon, a living woman who is capable of giving him emotions and energy.

And finally plus-size woman- This is the ideal that everyone should strive for. Such a girl inspires, and it is she who gets fur coats, diamonds, cars and apartments. How to become a “plus girl” - I talk about this in detail at live and online events.

Why doesn't he give gifts? Reason #4 – he is not successful.
Simply put, a loser. But don't discount it right away. Through changes in your inner female state, you can “fashion” almost any loser into a decent earning husband. Although this will take a lot of time, and you must clearly decide whether you need this or should you look for a better partner.

A successful man, even on a subconscious level, understands the benefits of investing in his woman. Through gifts, he, in fact, invests in his health; his testosterone and dopamine increase. The more he invests, the more he receives, only from other sources - in the external environment, in business. He automatically begins to increase his income, new goals are formed in his head, he thinks big. Even if he throws the world at the feet of his beloved, he understands that he will rule this world.
Moreover, this is a long-term investment for him. After all, every time he remembers a gorgeous gift he recently made, his testosterone rises again. This is how he maintains his financial success, men's health and potency.

Does a man never give you gifts?
So help him become more successful, let him feel his importance. As I said, start small and gradually increase the value of his gifts. You don’t yet fully understand how much in a relationship depends on you. Almost everything. You have hidden inner feminine power that can lift your partner to great feats and make him conquer the world.

Do you think this is difficult? No, in my trainings, girls who have never asked for anything in their lives achieve results in 15 minutes. To inspire you, I'll tell you a real story.

A 32-year-old girl, a mother and a child, came to my training. She had her own small business, which was not particularly commercially successful. Some time after the training, I learned that she was not only given a car, but also a private jet, and apartments in different countries, including real estate in Miami. It looks like a fairy tale, but it's true. And I see such stories all the time, because my formula for success works.

And if you want to learn even more information about how to swim in gifts and get a pleasant surprise, my free webinar “I’M A GIRL AND I WANT A LOT OF GIFTS!”

Why do some men not give gifts even on such big holidays as birthdays and March 8th? Not to mention the pleasant everyday little things and surprises that girls adore so much. Is romance really limited to the coffee-bouquet period? Conquered and relaxed? Is there a way to subtly “encourage” a lover to give gifts?

Common reasons for this behavior:

1. I am the best gift.

Sometimes the most tender, caring married lover does not notice the lady’s need for additional signs of attention. Psychologist John Gray has studied the issue of relationships for years using the example of numerous married couples. The experience gained was described in the book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus,” where he confirmed the theory that representatives of different sexes see the world differently.

For a partner, the passion for new things, huge bouquets and pleasant little things seems frivolous. Classic male position: “I give her myself, love, care, my own time, what else does she need?” Some specimens value their sexual capabilities so highly that they can easily say: “She has enough pleasure from “stormy nights of passion,” why should I pay for sex with unnecessary trinkets?”

2. Greed.

Or, as the guy himself would say, thriftiness, thriftiness. The young lady’s desire to get something other than sex raises suspicions of self-interest. Being fairly wealthy, this type of people simply does not want to spend money on an object of passion. At best, he gives cheap trinkets, feeling at least like the hero of a ladies' novel.

3. Short-term connection.

If your lover does not pamper you with gifts, is reserved in his compliments, and you feel a certain “chill” in his behavior, then he is not planning a long-term relationship. Perhaps he is not satisfied with you as a woman. The guy is looking for a more suitable option. Of course, the beloved will never admit this.

4. Financial difficulties.

The objective reason is temporary problems in business or at work. Wait out this period and the fan will again show generosity. Difficulties, if they are not permanent, only strengthen the couple’s relationship.

5. Conquered peak.

I got your attention, won and relaxed. Why do anything if the woman is already mine?

6. Fear of not pleasing.

Picky girls are often too demanding. Not wanting to upset his beloved or anger him with an unwanted gift, the admirer decides to do without such surprises.

7. Nothing is needed.

Modesty adorns a person. But sometimes we confuse it with indecision, uncertainty, and shyness. Remember, the strong half of humanity does not understand hints, does not know how to read between the lines. No “me myself”. Perhaps you answered the question about the desired gift with the typical phrases “nothing is needed,” “the main thing is attention,” completely forgetting that your loved one takes everything literally.

What am I doing wrong?

Why doesn't my lover give me anything? Faced with a problem, a young lady often does not know how to entice her lover to give him gifts and not seem intrusive.

Relationships are never without problems. However, these problems can serve both as a source of mutual resentment and alienation, and as a reason for even greater rapprochement, strengthening love, trust, and caring. — Gray John, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

Should a lover give presents to a young lady? If you consider a gentleman as a sponsor, a patron, the answer is obvious. There is an opinion that this is necessary for personal growth, realizes potential, and increases the partner’s self-esteem. Guys need to realize their importance, importance, and feel like a hero for the lady of their heart. A smart young lady will always take advantage of this.

Sometimes representatives of the fair sex try to compensate for the lack of attention with expensive things, and the partner simply “pays off”.

Three main reasons, from the guys' point of view, why he gives gifts:

Gratitude for sex.
Demonstration of the value and importance of the partner.
The desire to bind oneself even more, to evoke a sense of duty and reciprocity.

The art of manipulation, effective techniques

How to force a lover to give gifts to his mistress? There are five little women's secrets on how to ask a fan for a gift.

The first is that it is not the thing itself that is worth rejoicing at, but the desire of your loved one to please you and make you feel good. Emotions must be sincere. Give thanks even for the little things. Real delight and laudatory odes encourage you to make such surprises more often, to feel like a hero for the lady of your heart.

The second is to press for pity. It’s spring, it’s warm outside, and you’re dreaming so much about that lovely dress from the new collection... In winter, looking at the displays of fur coats, you shake from the cold, because your old coat has been worn out, isn’t it time to warm up? Show off a broken mobile phone from which you couldn’t call your lover for an hour when you needed his help.

Only such an acquisition can make you happy, but the husband thinks only of himself, he is selfish. Believe me, your lover will want to demonstrate that he is better than his spouse, and you will soon become the owner of a wonderful new thing.

The third is to ask your lover directly.

Try to avoid demands and extortion.

Gently, without ultimatums, without fear of showing weakness. Psychologists say that the best time for such a conversation is when the partner is in a good mood. A well-fed, sexually satisfied “satisfied lion” is more inclined to generosity than a tired and irritated one.

Casually mention that the dress you want has a zipper in the back. If you unbutton it, the new thing falls straight to your feet, exposing your thighs. A guy’s imagination and tendency to “love with his eyes” will do everything for you.

Use the tricky “from most to least” technique. For example: “Kitten, you promised to buy me that lovely dress from the show. Not possible yet? Okay, then at least let’s take these cute shoes, they’re just my size.” If the gentleman is categorical, be wiser. Perhaps the moment for such a conversation was chosen incorrectly.

Practice the “hungry cat” practice. The fluffy beauty is not offended by refusal; on the contrary, she becomes affectionate, rubs against her leg, and purrs gently. Even a person with a heart of stone cannot resist such a soft but persistent pressure. Win the man over, show him that you value him and show concern: “Darling, you’re a little nervous today. Let me make your favorite strong coffee with milk to cheer you up.”

Fourth - consult with your partner, demonstrate his importance, trust in impeccable taste. What dress would you like to see you wear at the evening? Which decoration will best highlight your beauty? This behavior will add confidence and will tell you which gift will definitely please you. Practice shopping together or agree on gift cards with a choice of items.

And finally, the fifth secret. Give yourself, take the initiative. It is not necessary to choose expensive things; you can limit yourself to small, pleasant things that remind you of your love. This will encourage the gentleman to respond in kind. You can subtly hint at what you would like to buy, but you still don’t have enough time or finances.

If you have used your entire arsenal, but your attempts have been in vain, think about it. Perhaps it's time to look for a more generous man, or settle down and just enjoy the relationship.

Video

Every girl in childhood was a little princess and dreamed of how a charming, slender guy with a warm, open smile would one day gracefully gallop on a huge horse with a snow-white flowing mane, dashingly jump off the horse and approach her. She will gracefully get down on one knee, hold out a lush bouquet of fragrant flowers that came from nowhere, and naturally propose marriage...

But, unfortunately, these naive childhood fantasies in most cases are broken on the sharp stones of modern reality. Having taken off their rose-colored glasses, the grown-up little princesses understand that not everything is so rosy, and princes are a rather scarce phenomenon. And there is no need to talk about white horses at all. Then dreams of a person of royal blood fade into the background, and, having met a handsome guy who is a little short of the status of a “prince,” the girl decides to have a relationship.

Making certain demands on the appearance and character of a young man, almost every first representative of the fair sex wants a man to look after him beautifully, never give offense, earn decent money, be an honest and fair guy, and in the future - a caring husband and a good father .

Most often, this is how it is at the beginning of a relationship: the guy is trying to show himself in the best light, and therefore demonstrates only his best qualities, carefully hiding his shortcomings. However, when the candy-flower period with a slight touch of romance comes to an end, the girl begins to think: “Hmm... They don’t give me presents... So they don’t love me anymore?!” But in fact, no one stopped loving anyone, you can just congratulate the girl on the fact that the relationship has finally gotten out of the children's sandbox and entered a more serious stage.

The fact is that men and women are structured completely differently: this applies not only to physiological characteristics, but also to views on relationships. After all, a woman by nature is very observant and picky about little things, so the slightest deviation from the “plan” already makes her think thoroughly: “Why haven’t I received presents for a long time? Has he really got another one?” And all representatives of the stronger sex, in fact, are hunters, so if a guy doesn’t give gifts and flowers every day, then most likely he just thinks that the girl has already been “conquered”, she won’t get away from him anywhere else, and you can relax .

If a man makes surprises only on special holidays, completely forgetting about the date of meeting, first kiss or first declaration of love, there is absolutely nothing to worry about. Men shell out for nice little things very rarely, because they have a rational mindset, and you shouldn’t pout offendedly if the young man hasn’t prepared another present in honor of your little anniversary.

You can’t go against nature, so it’s better for more sentimental girls to be resourceful and remind their lover in advance about the upcoming event. If your hint was not understood, do not flog it! First of all, you need to understand the reason.

Please note that many men do not give gifts because:

they simply don’t know what to buy;
they have financial difficulties;
They think that gifts are a waste of money.

In the latter case, it will be very difficult to change the man.

Should a man give surprises?

Most men are divided into two categories: those who believe that they owe nothing to anyone, and those who think that they are obliged to provide for a woman always and in everything.

Ideally, if you manage to find a “golden mean”, then you won’t have to complain to your friends, sobbing into the phone “... oh, he doesn’t give me gifts!..” But, as we have already found out, dreams are dreams, but in reality it turns out that perfect people can not be. Naturally, it is simply a sin for a successful man not to surprise the woman he loves: this shows his special attitude towards her and emphasizes his social status.

But a lot depends on the lady herself: if at the very beginning of the relationship she showed that she is not interested in gifts, and in a restaurant she will pay for herself, then then there is no need to be offended that the man does not do as you intended - this is quite understandable and naturally. But if the chosen one stubbornly does not notice (or does not want to notice) the woman’s desires, you can try to direct him in the right direction.

How to get a man to give gifts

If your husband does not pamper you with gifts, you should not immediately panic and imagine outrageous scenes of betrayal, rummage through your pockets and examine your phone in search of incriminating information. To begin with, you can simply carefully hint to him about your desires. Make up a sentimental story about your friend/acquaintance who was given an unforgettable gift by her boyfriend/husband. Shyly admit that you envy her in a kind way, and perhaps this will make your betrothed think in the right direction.

What if you want a specific item?

The scenario is simple: walking near the display case, sigh dreamily, looking picturesquely in the direction of the coveted gift. Did this catch your boyfriend's attention? You can assume that he is already “on the hook” for you. If you are a woman without complexes, and in your relationships straightforwardness always plays the first fiddle, then you don’t need to invent anything: just say directly that you want attention, and it’s unlikely that a loving person will refuse you this.

Get a new hairstyle, manicure, buy a new dress, in a word, update your image to start a new round in your relationship. This will allow you to return to a romantic mood and pleasant gifts from a man.

Make each other happy

Many girls have complaints, although they themselves do nothing pleasant for their other half. Take the initiative into your own hands and start giving gifts to your man yourself. These don’t have to be expensive things: a nice trinket for the car, an interesting book, a beautiful tie clip, a football-themed keychain, etc. and so on. Show your imagination and make a small surprise for your lover, based on his hobbies and character. Alternatively, you can arrange a romantic dinner or an exciting outing into nature. Or maybe something more piquant, for example, to diversify life in bed. Believe me, your significant other will certainly appreciate it!

Give each other gifts and enjoy the time spent together!

“So my husband just took Irinka and gave him an iPhone, brought him a ring, but my Sashka didn’t even bring a lousy rose for his anniversary? Why is that so? Why am I worse? - the girl asks her friend.

And if this was just an isolated case. How often do women complain that they do not receive anything from their chosen ones, secretly or openly envying those who receive these gifts. In pursuit of answers, they are ready to rummage through a ton of literature, ask everyone they know and don’t know in different forms, although they, those same answers, are much closer.

If a man doesn’t give gifts, a psychologist’s opinion

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There is not and cannot be a single correct answer in such a situation. A couple is created by two people, a man and a woman, and each of them is an individual, with his own character, habits, complexes, in the end.

By accusing a man of lack of attention expressed by gifts, a woman seems to be throwing off all responsibility: “I’m so wonderful, but he’s bad and doesn’t appreciate me.” This is a fundamentally wrong approach, because a relationship is not a one-way game, it is painstaking mutual work of two individuals with the goal of building a harmonious union.

If the chosen one does not shower you with flowers and fur coats, you should think not only about the reasons for his behavior. Perhaps the key to the problem lies in another plane, for example, you are not internally ready for these very gifts, or he simply does not realize that material signs of attention are also necessary. In this case, you can try to tell him about it directly or hint indirectly.

How to hint a man about a gift

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Your boyfriend may not even realize that you need material confirmation of his feelings.

If in all other areas of the relationship his love and care are clearly visible, for example, the banal “Are you wearing a hat? It’s freezing cold there” or “I replaced the tires on your car, they promised ice the other day,” it means he values you. This summary suggests that this is not a fleeting romance, but a long-term perspective.

And everything is fine, but he doesn’t indulge in bouquets of a hundred roses, or anything else. This does not mean that he is somehow wrong, maybe that’s how it was in his family. And in such cases, a hint, subtle or quite tangible, will be enough for the girl. It all depends on the man’s understanding. It’s enough for one to see you dreamily lingering at the window display with a cute one. Another will need to say in plain text: “I would be pleased to receive this bracelet from you.”

If a man doesn't give gifts, what does it mean?

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The male brain is different from the female brain and functions very differently. This is a proven fact, you need to accept it, and life will immediately become easier. Many representatives of the strong half of the human race do not know how to give gifts. Why? That's how the stars aligned. Almost. It all depends on the individual, but in most cases they can be generalized.

Often men do not consider gifts as something important. They give attention, care, love, maybe flowers for birthdays, they don’t even hang out in bars with friends. What else do you need? Should I buy something? So, I brought my entire salary home, go and buy it.

Another type of representative of the stronger sex may bring home a vacuum cleaner that he bought on sale, and will sincerely wonder why you didn’t appreciate his impulse. A pragmatic man will not understand why give a dress for one time for 5 thousand, if you can buy something useful for that money.

For some, choosing a gift is like torture. What to buy? What will he be happy about? What if he doesn’t like it... He is overcome by doubts, the process becomes unbearable, and the man puts this matter off until “someday later.” It’s my own fault that I didn’t remember and didn’t write down if there were any hints, but the problem doesn’t go away. Therefore, he follows the path of least resistance, saving himself from the pain of choice, and does not buy anything. It's easier for him.

To understand the joy of receiving a gift, a person must experience this very joy. If a man didn’t have such precedents in his life, they didn’t give him anything, he grew up in strictness, or even worse, then he himself won’t understand why another person needs this.

Why doesn't a man give gifts to the woman he's dating?

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The candy-bouquet period of relationships precisely implies the presence of these same bouquets. It’s exaggerated, of course, but at the beginning of a relationship, a man traditionally looks after a lady, takes her to cafes, restaurants, cinemas and theaters, always comes on dates with flowers and all that. If this does not happen, there may be several reasons:

As sad as it is to realize this, you may have come across a real miser (miser, greedy, synonyms can be chosen at your discretion). He can cover up his greed with various excuses that he doesn’t want to buy a woman, or, on the contrary, you are only worthy of luxurious gifts, and he doesn’t have the funds yet, but as soon as he saves up, he will immediately... Whether it’s a matter of upbringing, character or selfishness of a person, it doesn’t matter, but he won't change. Accept it. Either agree with this state of affairs, or change the man.

Another option is bed relationships. If for some time a couple does not go beyond intimacy, but then at one point the woman begins to lack warmth and gifts, then a claim arises. But the man was satisfied with this state of affairs, and he was not going to change anything. There are two options here: either leave everything as it is, “for health,” so to speak, but without claims for more, or separate and look for a man for other purposes, that is, a full-fledged relationship.

Sometimes it happens that a person is really firmly convinced: gifts should be expensive and nothing else. But he really can’t afford a significant purchase. At least for now. And here it is worth assessing the situation. If it is noticeable from a person that his material condition leaves much to be desired, then it is up to the woman to decide whether “heaven in a hut” will suit her with a possible future, or whether she needs to get everything here and now. In the second case, you will have to look for another partner.

How to deceive a man for gifts

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You can scam a man for gifts, but is it necessary? If you want a strong long-term relationship, you definitely don’t need it.

Why do modern men firmly believe that all women are mercantile creatures? This opinion did not appear out of nowhere. Many of them have encountered excessive demands and insistence on the part of the fair sex, which is why they no longer consider them so beautiful.

When relationships move into the material plane, the spiritual already fades into the background. A man is the same person as a woman, and is just as worthy of respect and understanding. It’s worth starting with yourself and trying to evaluate your sides; perhaps you’re the one doing something wrong.

How to get a man to give gifts

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Forcing and coercing someone is to doom the relationship to failure in advance. But making yourself just such a woman, at whose feet all the blessings of the world will fall, is quite possible. If you want to change something, start with yourself.

Adequate requests. When a discussion of gifts arises among girls, it turns out that each one understands this point differently. For some, flowers, sweets, restaurants are “obligations” and mean nothing. More serious and significant things are needed. But let’s be honest, a person who will give expensive gifts in the first months of a relationship will be either very wealthy, or with very serious intentions, or he wants to “buy” a woman.

Sincere gratitude. Don't take everything for granted. Remember, a man is not obliged to satisfy all women’s “wants”, no matter how social networks convince otherwise. With her genuine joy and admiration for the gift she received, the girl stimulates her partner to repeat the “act of giving.”

Golden mean. Don't try to deserve gifts. If you love, care and make dumplings with your own hands at two in the morning in the kitchen, a man will definitely appreciate it. But don't go too far. You shouldn’t go completely into service, otherwise you will lose yourself and your partner will lose interest.

Femininity. This quality is always at a premium, and even more so in our age. Emancipated feminists and independent careerists do not make a man want to do something nice for them, because such a lady can and can do everything herself, and even on occasion she will remind you about it 10 times.

It is very important to be able to accept without feeling obligated, even subconsciously. By adjusting her requirements and opening up on the other side, the woman won’t have time to look back before she gets what she wants.

Why doesn't my husband give gifts?

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The husband will give gifts if:

He wants it himself. From the heart, just to do something nice. This is such a wonderful person.

He gets what he wants. You give me - I give you. This is the only way the principle works. He does not pay for love; there is a special category of ladies for this. A man receives what he specifically needs: delicious borscht, understanding, care, tenderness, and so on (underline what is necessary, fill in what is missing). In return, he gives joy to the woman in his usual sense.

He's so used to it. I took an example from childhood, from my family, where the father loved and spoiled the mother and children.

He cajoles. Colleagues invited you to go fishing or there’s a corporate event coming up.

He was guilty. I went out with friends, for example.

And one more important point: husbands also love gifts, and not the usual soap-and-snout ones combined with socks and underpants, but those that are chosen with soul. Having received pleasant gifts over and over again, the spouse’s conscience simply will not allow him to leave his wife without a good gift.

Why doesn't my husband give flowers?

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Have you given it before? If he had never had such a habit before, then where would it come from? But if you stopped, then it’s worth thinking about.

Many men who get a girl as a wife for some reason become confident that she will not go anywhere. And they relax, so to speak. And women, by the way, relax.

They often stop taking care of themselves as they did before the wedding. Therefore, do not let yourself go and do not give any concessions to your partner. The husband will rush to his well-groomed, beautiful wife, who will also pamper her with a delicious dinner, on wings and with a bouquet, and maybe something more serious. But to find time for self-care, encourage him to share household responsibilities.

My husband stopped giving gifts

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Ask yourself if there was a situation where your husband brought a bouquet of tulips, and you really wanted roses. Maybe he didn’t have enough finances, but he wanted to do something nice. Or he decided to help out his grandmother at the metro by buying a bouquet from her garden. And you so wanted roses, long, burgundy, like Marinka posted on Instagram. And instead of gratitude and happy eyes, the husband received, at best, a routine “thank you,” or even just pursed lips. And this is without the option of hysteria and indignation.

Or another situation. The husband gave it, the very thing that his beloved wife had been staring at in the shopping center. But it turned out not exactly the same, but from a neighboring mannequin, or the wrong size, or even color. Result: again, indignation, claims and non-recognition of the act. It is unlikely that after something like this the faithful will have attacks of sudden passion for giving.

The actions were not appreciated, which means they were wrong, from his point of view. And men don’t like to repeat their mistakes. Be sincerely grateful for any manifestation of feelings, no matter what you expected. There is a way out of any situation; in the end, the dress can be changed, but returning the favor of a loved one is not so easy.

Why doesn't a guy give gifts?

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Modern young people are subject to enormous influence from others. This often plays out as a disadvantage in relationships with the opposite sex. Friends, seeing a guy with flowers and other attributes, will laugh and call him henpecked. This confuses and stops many guys.

By the way, as well as lack of finance. If he is still studying and, at most, works part-time, or even takes money from his parents, you can’t expect serious gifts from him. Again, it all depends on the young man, who may not be used to it or does not see the point in gifts. Let him know what you would like to receive, because even experienced men often have to suggest basic things for every woman, and even more so for guys.

How to ask a man for a gift correctly

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Asking is not an option. If your partner doesn't take hints, tell him directly what you would like. But without begging, and especially without phrases like “My boyfriend gave Svetka a mink coat, but what are you doing?” This approach will immediately ruin the whole thing. Firstly, the man will understand that you are still with him, even without a fur coat, so why give it at all, and so good. Secondly, Svetka’s husband most likely earns many times more, and with these words you will humiliate your partner or put him in an awkward position. He might like to give it as a gift, but he doesn’t have enough funds.

So, for her part, a woman can: take care of her appearance, be a good housewife (or at least try), adequately assess a man’s financial capabilities, respect herself and him, support and be grateful for what he does for her. A normal, adequate, intelligent man will appreciate this and will independently (well, maybe with a few hints) do everything necessary to make her happy (including gifts, flowers, money, etc.). If he doesn’t appreciate it, then there’s simply no point in such a relationship.

Why doesn't a man give gifts? Someone will say: “Just think, there’s a problem! Is it worth getting upset over trifles?!” The psychologist says: “In life, all disasters begin with trifles and grievances. And if you don’t figure this out in time, the consequences can be sad.”

Our life is relationships. Our whole life depends on how easy, warm and comfortable we are in a relationship with a man. When you are alone, you get used to a certain rhythm of life, everything in it suits you and everything seems necessary and important. But then you meet someone... And then you think: “Hurray! Happiness will come soon!” But there is no happiness, there are only problems and misunderstandings.

“It should come” is nothing more than an expectation, which is most often unjustified. The relationship seems to be developing, and you are already presenting to each other: “I chose you, and I want you to provide me with joy and pleasure, and preferably every time we meet!” If you think so, consider that your relationship is doomed to fail.

As soon as you begin to present your claims to a man in an ultimatum form, that’s it, you’ve turned on the countdown timer. You need to remember one thing: in a normal relationship, no one owes anyone anything. The sooner you understand this, the brighter, more comfortable, and longer your relationship will be! And this does not depend at all on the stamp in the passport. Just decide for yourself: no one owes anyone anything!

The psychologist brings us to the most important question: what do I expect from this relationship? What are they needed for? Only if you answer this question will you have the right partner and the right motivation. Every woman has her own view of relationships:

Some people want a quiet, calm, measured life, and in the future - most likely - the same affectionate family life without unpredictable actions on the part of their partner. Accordingly, you need to choose a person who shares your views on life.
And if you want a different type of relationship: drive, independence, explosions of emotions, a thirst for adventure, you need to choose a man who loves all this.
It’s good when you can figure out for yourself and whether this man is right for you. But quite often something else happens: people are not suitable for each other, they cannot build relationships - they are too different. And it seems like there is a relationship, but there is no joy and spiritual comfort. People are too different, and most importantly, they have different upbringings.
The psychologist says that we all come from childhood. And if in childhood we are accustomed to seeing comfortable relationships between parents, it is easier for us to imagine the right partner, and it is easier to build relationships. And vice versa: if there was an ugly, incorrect form of relationships in the family - how difficult it is for us not to step on this rake ourselves!

Understanding between a man and a woman is the key to a long and comfortable relationship. And also mutual assistance and mutual respect. You can't go anywhere without this. Whatever the relationship, you can always explain yourself and come to some common denominator.

Don't forget - you grew up in different families, with different upbringings. And each family had its own attitudes, differences and characteristics. Sometimes these features are so different that the question inevitably arises: how did people meet each other in the first place?

Let's look at a simple example: a young man does not give flowers to a girl. The girl is offended, embarrassed to ask, and misunderstanding breaks out between them. When clarifying the situation, the following became clear: the man grew up in the village: a vegetable garden, potatoes, livestock, and so on. In the village, relationships are straightforward in a village way, without flowers or enthusiasm. In the village, men are not used to expressing their feelings sublimely; they prove their care for the family through deeds.

The girl lived her whole life in the city, her father gave her mother flowers, read his own poems, bought cinema and theater tickets. And the girl, naturally, expects the same from the young man. But this is not the case. And instead of flowers and gifts - a nail, bags from the store - signs of attention, only of a different order. Answer yourself this question: have you ever talked to a man about flowers and gifts? Does he know how important it is for you - these are signs of attention? In a relationship, you always need to talk everything out, and not collect grievances and accumulate them! If you tell him about your family, about your childhood, this will be a good start!

Men and proofs of love

Any psychologist will tell you that men and women most often have completely different views and reasoning about the same thing. The main reason for misunderstanding between a man and a woman is dialogue in different languages. Every man shows and expresses his feelings with his own language. So what is this special language? A man usually uses 5 evidence of his attitude towards a woman:

Help is shown concern, which is expressed by specific actions.
Time - men value their time spent on a lady: this is not only going to a cafe, cinema, and so on. This is a time to communicate and delve into a woman’s problems.
Words - believe me, for many men, compliments spoken to a lady are tantamount to unloading a carload of coal!
Kissing and touching, intimacy.
Flowers and gifts - for many men this is in last place.

So, we see that most men put “helping” a woman first, and “time” spent on you is also more important to them. And a woman needs to be constantly told about love, reminded of her feelings, given flowers and gifts. The end result is a conversation between a blind man and a deaf man: the man thinks that he has proven his relationship, and the woman does not believe until she receives proof and declarations of love.

The psychologist advises: if a woman wants signs of attention, she should talk about it, choosing a convenient moment for conversation. Then grievances will not accumulate, and you will not have to be upset!

But it also happens that a woman herself discourages the desire to give her anything. Takes a gift for granted, without emotions and even a banal “thank you.” Disdainfully shows his dissatisfaction with his entire appearance. Or even worse, he begins to reproach that the flowers are not the same, and the perfume is not the same.

In this case, the man not only does not want to give gifts, but becomes afraid of not pleasing his lady and again feeling awkward.

You need to be able to accept a gift with gratitude, even if the man made a mistake. And instead of roses he brought daisies, and the perfume stinks unbearably. Put them on the “eat, don’t ask to drink” shelf. After all, he didn’t bring a hammer drill. Although sometimes a hammer drill can be expensive to repair! When the opportunity arises, tell your loved one what you would like and what you have been dreaming about for a long time.

How to ask a man for a gift

There are situations when a young man simply has no funds. But in this case, he can give at least one rose. You can carve out a small amount for this, even from a very meager budget, if you wish. Popular wisdom: “It’s not a gift that’s precious, but attention that’s precious” - it’s good if a man understands this on his own, without your prompting.

A more attentive man, in advance, before the onset of the celebration, asks his beloved: “What should I give you?” But most women modestly answer: “I don’t need anything, I have everything.” And in the depths of my soul the thought flashes: “Well, please, guess for yourself.” But the loved one has no idea, and there is no gift.

You don’t need anything, everything is there! There is no need to say this! It’s better to say something specific, or let him buy something to his taste. Asking a man for a gift or flowers is mandatory and not discussed. And when the gift is presented, do not forget to thank your loved one. Emphasize how he made you happy. Show that he did something very meaningful for you. The man will appreciate it and the next gift will not be long in coming.