As in a Chechen family, the son greets his father. Rituals, customs and beliefs of the Chechens and Ingush associated with the birth and upbringing of children in the pre-revolutionary period. (Khasbulatova Z.I.). Spartan methods? No, love, respect and mercy

In Chechnya, the centuries-old traditions of the ancestors are sacredly revered; laws that have historically developed over several centuries are still in force here. A special place in the life of every Chechen belongs to the family. But despite the patriarchal way of life, the customs here are not as severe as those of other Caucasian peoples.

Children are the wealth of the family

In Chechnya, large families are held in high esteem. Here, no one thinks about whether the material wealth allows parents to have many children. Welfare does not matter, because only a large and friendly family can be happy, in which, according to established tradition, there are at least 7 sons.

Mother is a teacher, father is a role model

The upbringing of children in a Chechen family is carried out by the mother, despite the fact that the dominant role belongs to the father. He is a role model and unquestioned authority. The father does not even talk to his sons and daughters - communication takes place through the mother. The distance is observed to such an extent that in the presence of the head of the family, the children respectfully stand, and do not sit. But Chechen grandmothers take an active part in raising their grandchildren. They spend a lot of time with children, instilling the necessary skills and respect for elders.

Spartan methods? No, love, respect and mercy!

Despite the harsh, at first glance, laws and traditions, very humane pedagogical methods are practiced here. The child is taught to respect elders, to love sisters and brothers, to be humane and merciful. Virtue is one of the most important qualities that are brought up in children from an early age. Toddlers and teenagers are not beaten, they are not forced to do hard work. For them, only the stern look of their father or the cry of an irritated mother is a severe punishment. Chechen children are not characterized by aggression, because they grow up in an atmosphere of love, warmth and respect.

Physical education

Children are not forced to work hard and hard, but physical education in a soft and unobtrusive form is an obligatory stage in the pedagogy of parents. Mother and grandmother teach girls needlework, they can help adults cook, clean, look after the kids. The boys, together with the elders, graze cattle, participate to the best of their ability in harvesting, and take care of the horses that every family has.

For the Chechen people, the family always comes first, this is the most important thing in life.

Chechens raise their children in the same way as their ancestors 100-200 years ago, according to the republic. The birth of a child, and especially a boy, imposes on parents a serious responsibility, which is considered the main business of all life. (6 photos)

Despite the fact that the modern world leaves its mark on traditions, on the family way of life, on the upbringing of children, Chechnya has managed to preserve one of the most important traditions - having many children. Until now, when a child is born, in the first congratulations to parents, everyone wishes that the child who was born had seven brothers. A family with seven brothers is a very serious argument worthy of respect in Chechen society.

One parable is very popular in Chechnya: a young mother went to an old man to ask him when to start raising a child. The elder asked how old the baby was. She replied: one month. The elder, without thinking, said that she was exactly a month late with her upbringing. The most important thing that children are taught according to Chechen traditions is respect for elders. The name of the father is an indisputable authority that acts on the child in a magical way.

According to traditional adats, Chechens will never praise their children in public. Almost any Chechen father will remain silent if his son tells him about successes. The father communicates with the son through the mother, keeping a distance. But the core of the son's upbringing remains the father, who must be imitated and strive for his ideal.

Even pre-revolutionary historians showed interest in the Chechen traditions of raising boys. To their question why parents do not beat their children, fathers and mothers answered: “We want them to grow up as people.” And the famous Russian Caucasian scholar Adolf Berger claimed that Chechens never beat their sons, because they are afraid that they will grow up to be cowards. The son is not beaten or scolded so that he does not know the feeling of fear.

The family of Ramzan Kadyrov is an illustrative example, here in practice you can see all the features of the traditions of local education. “I never sat down in front of my father, never talked. When asked, I answered. I tried not to go into the room where my parents were together. Until the last years, my father and I never communicated in the presence of my grandfather. I don't remember my father praising me. It's the same in our family. In the presence of my father, I never spoke to my wife and children. This is how we were brought up,” said Ramzan Kadyrov in an interview.

Chechens raise their children in the same way as their ancestors 100-200 years ago, according to the republic. A childless family is compared here to a tree without branches and fruits. Therefore, the birth of a child, and especially a boy, imposes on parents a serious responsibility, which is considered the main business of all life.

Each of the children is a project, the implementation of which depends entirely on the organizers - the father and mother. In the end, a person, raising and spending money on the education of children, invests both his strength and finances in them in order to ensure his old age, remaining respected in society both during life and after death. Older people often say that there is nothing more pleasant in old age than hearing from strangers about the merits of their children and how respected they have become.

Despite the fact that the modern world leaves its mark on traditions, on the family way of life, on the upbringing of children, in Chechnya they managed to preserve one of the most important traditions - having many children. Asking a 30-year-old Chechen who doesn't have a steady job or stable income why he has so many children is like wondering if he needs his brothers and sisters. Until now, when a child is born, in the first congratulations to parents, everyone wishes that the child who was born had seven brothers. And it doesn't matter if it's the third child or the fifth. A family with seven brothers is a very serious argument worthy of respect in Chechen society.

Expert opinion

historian, lecturer at CSU, SmartNews

- The main educator of children in a Chechen family is a mother. If in an ideal Chechen family a boy learns from the example of his father, carried away by his authority, then his mother is practically the first teacher. A woman can turn to her husband for help only in extreme cases, when the child is out of hand. “I will tell my father everything when he returns” - such statements act on children like shock therapy. Even if the father never raised a hand against the children.

I never sat down in front of my father, never talked. When asked, I answered. I tried not to go into the room where my parents were together. Until the last years, my father and I never communicated in the presence of my grandfather. I don't remember my father praising me. It's the same in our family. In the presence of my father, I never spoke to my wife and children. We were brought up that way. And these traditions will continue.

In fact, according to traditional adats, Chechens will never praise their children in public. Almost any Chechen father will remain silent if his son tells him about successes. The father and son communicated through the mother, keeping a distance. But the core of the son's upbringing was the father, who should be imitated and strive for his ideal.

My father has always been the most important thing for me after the Almighty. I did everything to please my father, so that he would say that Ramzan is a good boy. He taught me to do good, to learn, to always work for the good of the people. This is what I did. We had a special relationship. He forgave me a lot. But I, for one, never showed him that I was more than he slept. I always got up earlier, went to bed later so that he would not see that I was sleeping. We still have such a rule - do not show your father for a month until he sees you by chance.

My mother and I had a separate relationship. Everything that I wanted to tell my father, I conveyed through my mother. She is like a translator.

The punishment of the mother was considered not so shameful, especially since it was usually carried out only during the first years of life. At the same time, the word of grandmother has always had great authority for a boy, especially a teenager.

Grandmothers play a colossal role in raising children in Chechnya. It was my grandmother who raised me and is raising my children, because she knows much more than anyone else. We have the wisest grandparents. And my grandfather is a very respected person. It is a great happiness for me that my grandfather and grandmother are raising my children.

Expert opinion

child psychologist, SmartNews

- Grandparents play a special role in the upbringing of Chechen children. The writer Musa Beksultanov has a story where an old man takes his grandson with him to hunt. This was a long-awaited trip for the boy. Grandfather allowed him to take a rifle and shoot at the animal. At the last moment, when the game was at gunpoint, the boy did not shoot, and the frightened roe deer ran away. The boy felt ashamed of his weakness and began to cry. Grandfather, on the contrary, praised him for his humanity. "Well done, a good person will grow out of you!" said the old man.

For all their brutality, the Chechens have always valued humanity and mercy, taught children to it. For the boy from the story, such a grandfather’s reaction to the seemingly weakness that he showed, in fact, will have a very strong effect in the future. He will understand that a strong person will not offend a weak one. For children at this age, this is a big change.

Chechen historians refer to psychologists who claim that a person who has gone through fear can become a great oppressor. In the worst case, the Chechens believed, such a person could have his soul taken away. They say that if a Chechen is afraid of something, he should only be afraid of shame or losing face. As the Vainakh proverb says, a horse that was beaten with a whip will not become a real horse.

The upbringing of children began at a fairly early age. This does not mean that they were forced to do some laborious work. On the contrary, up to a certain age, children were forbidden to lift weights. Chechens never beat their sons. Today, this principle is not particularly reverently observed. Sometimes parents are forced to flog their negligent offspring with a belt, as if eliminating their own shortcomings made in the process of education. Sometimes such a spanking is beneficial. The policy of carrots and sticks as a contrasting approach also justifies itself, depending on the degree of understanding of a teenager. On the whole, upbringing implies, first of all, edification and censure, rather than corporal punishment.

The Chechens and Ingush never abandoned children. A lost child could be taken under their care by complete strangers. Proof of this is a case that occurred a few years ago in Ingushetia. In the village of Achaluki, relatives found a Chechen boy who disappeared 16 years ago. Somehow, from the Chechen city of Argun, he ended up on the border with Ingushetia. Having discovered the child, a local resident, who worked at that time in the Ingush police, took him to him. Since that time, Murad Soltanmuradov has been living in two families.

The traditions of family education of Chechens are more than 200 years old, so they think in the republic. The main business of all life is the birth of a child and his upbringing, especially boys.

A happy family will be where there are seven brothers, and the father of such a family is respected in society. One of the first wishes for parents at the birth of their first child is that he should have seven brothers. Having many children is still a virtue of family traditions in Chechnya, despite the interference of the modern world.

When does parenting start? The Chechens have a parable that when a young mother came to an old man and asked when to start raising a child, then, having learned that the child was a month old, the old man replied: “You are a month late.” According to the traditions, the child is taught respect for elders, the authority of the father. The name of the father often acts as a magic word to calm and pacify the naughty.

In keeping with tradition, Chechen parents never praise their children in public. Any father will keep silent about his son's stories about his achievements, and communication in the family occurs through the mother. Keeping a distance, the father remains an authority for the son and his ideal to follow.

People have been interested in the traditions of upbringing in Chechen families since pre-revolutionary times. Most of all, historians were interested in the question of why Chechen parents do not beat their children. When questioned, the fathers and mother answered that they were raising people out of them. Adolphe Berger, the great Russian Caucasian scholar, argued that such an approach exists in the family so that the son does not know the feeling of fear, and does not grow up as a coward. Children are not even scolded.

Ramazan Kadyrov is a good example of the results of the traditional upbringing of Chechens. According to his recollections, he never sat down in the presence of his father, and did not speak without permission. Only answered specific questions. The room where the parents were together was not available. In the presence of his grandfather, he never communicated with his father. And he was able to speak freely only in recent years. But there was never any praise from him. The same traditions are observed in his own family. But even now, in the presence of his father, he does not talk to his wife and children. This is how he was brought up and according to these “laws” he brings up his children.

The Caucasus is a harsh land and the abandonment of children is not welcome here. Any lost child can always find shelter in another family, where strangers simply become parents for him. Here is a case that happened a few years ago, a direct confirmation of this. In Ingushetia, on the border with Chechnya, a Chechen boy was found. It is still not clear how he got there from the mountain village of Achaluka. He was taken in by the family of an Ingush policeman, who found him. But 16 years later, his own family also found him. Murad Soltanmuradov - that's the name of this man, now lives in two families.