When to plan a second child. Planning for a second pregnancy Preparing an older child for a new family member

After the birth of their first child, some parents want to have another. But not everyone understands how important this decision is.

The severity or simplicity of the first birth does not in any way affect subsequent pregnancy and childbirth. There are some features of the second pregnancy and childbirth. The main ones are discussed below:

Where to start preparing

Preparing for pregnancy is the first duty of a mother. After the birth of the first child, the expectant mother already knows what changes will be in the body, what is most important and what to pay attention to.

Even if pregnancy passes without complications, it causes changes in all body systems. Only competent pregnancy planning will help to insure against surprises.

Analyzes

When planning a second child, a woman needs to be examined by a doctor. He orders tests. Their list practically does not differ from the tests during the first pregnancy.

General blood analysis.
Smear.
Scraping research.
Analysis of urine.
Hormone analysis.
Ultrasound of the breast, pelvic organs, thyroid gland.

Planning for a second pregnancy

After a complete examination by a doctor, it is necessary to proceed to the next stage of planning - preparation for gestation.

Pay attention to the following factors:

Body mass. A woman should not be obese or overweight.
Serious illnesses.
Hormones.
Menstruation. The menstrual cycle should be regular.
Nutrition. Before pregnancy and during it, observe proper nutrition.

Possible contraindications

Unfortunately, not every woman is given the opportunity to re-experience the joy of motherhood. Such contraindications include:

Kidney disease.
Heart disease.
Back problems.
Not healed scar after caesarean.
Excess weight.
Not the right age.

How to conceive quickly a second time

Doctors identify seven rules for the rapid conception of a child:

When is the best time to have a second child?

When planning a child, many think about the age of the woman and the first child. So how do you choose the right age?

best age

The best age for a woman depends on the following factors:

Physiology. Full recovery of the body after childbirth occurs in two and a half years.
Psychology. The mother should have time to recover psychologically after the first birth.
Age. If the interval between births is too small, then the chance of miscarriage increases significantly. But if you give birth too late, then the child may develop poorly.
Operational intervention. The scar after a caesarean section should heal well.

The difference between children

Doctors call a different optimal age difference between two children. Most of the psychologists stop at the opinion that the best difference between children is 3 years old. Thus, the mother will have time to recover from previous births, both morally and physically, and the children will have less conflict.

This indicator largely depends on individual characteristics.

What can interfere

Often in families where the first-born is growing up, over time the thought of a second child appears. Having experience in raising an older child, parents approach the birth of a second child in a more balanced way. Where to start planning a second pregnancy, what features should be taken into account in advance and how to prepare for it?

Preparing for a second pregnancy

Planning a second pregnancy starts with a healthy lifestyle:

Ideally, six months before the intended conception, you need to say goodbye to bad habits. Alcohol and tobacco adversely affect the activity of sperm and eggs.
Be sure to balance your weight. Extra pounds carry a big burden when carrying a fetus, threatening diseases such as varicose veins and hemorrhoids. And excessive thinness is the enemy of fertility.
Stick to proper nutrition. Food should be varied and natural. Eat plenty of leafy vegetables, fruits, lean meats, dairy products.
You often go outdoors, take walks in parks, go out of town.
Get enough sleep. Sleep at least 8 hours a day.
Get positive emotions, communicate with your loved ones. Remain calm, stress has never contributed to pregnancy.

Before conception, men are advised to refrain from sexual intercourse for a couple of days, to exclude visiting the bath, hot bath. All this depresses the quality of sperm.
To identify any diseases, the spouses pass a series of tests:

general analysis of blood and urine
visiting a therapist
Ultrasound of the pelvic organs
examination by a gynecologist, urologist to identify genital infections
examination at the dentist

2-3 months before pregnancy, a woman should take special drugs:

folic acid to prevent fetal neural tube defects
multivitamin complex

Important: the doctor prescribes drugs and dosage individually!

If the family has global plans in the form of moving and repairs, then it is better to implement them before the test shows two long-awaited stripes.
You need to think in advance who will help you after the hospital. While you are recovering, nurse the newborn, the husband or grandmother will take care of the older child. It will take weeks to learn how to cope with two children.
You can freeze semi-finished products for the first time, as many prudent housewives do, so that cooking takes a minimum of time.

How to prepare an older child?

Let's imagine for a moment that if your beloved husband said with a smile that another woman would live with you, but he would love you no less ... Imagine? Now transfer the whole fountain of emotions into the soul of your baby, who does not understand why he is no longer a universal object of love and what to do next.

With the advent of the second child, the first-born is separated from the mother. The older child feels loneliness, anxiety, fear of parting with his mother forever. In order not to lose children's trust, you need to dispel the halo of uncertainty. Psychologists suggest doing the following:

Tell in general terms about the upcoming period, that "a brother or sister lives inside." Allow the baby to touch the tummy, talk to him.
Tell us about your last pregnancy, show your ultrasound picture, baby's tiny clothes.
Let the baby take part in prenatal chores: choosing a slider, rattles, arranging furniture.
Tell your child that although a lot will change with the birth of the youngest, mom and dad will always love and take care of him.
Features of the second pregnancy

Doctors recommend starting planning a second pregnancy no earlier than two years after the previous one. This period is intended for the restoration of the woman's body after bearing and feeding the first child.
In multiparous, the belly appears earlier and falls lower. The movements of the baby can already be felt from about 16-17 weeks. The weight of the fetus, especially boys, on average increases by 300-500 grams compared to the firstborn.
The second birth is faster and more intense. The cervix is already stretched, and the opening is going faster. Therefore, you should go to the hospital at the beginning of the contractions.
If the first pregnancy was resolved by caesarean section, then before planning the second one, it is necessary to undergo an examination for the condition of the scar on the uterus. With a successful conclusion, the expectant mother can decide on a natural birth.
Don't forget about age! After all, it is easier to physically endure and give birth at 25 than at 35. Closer to the age of forty, the likelihood of birth bleeding and placental disorders increases.
There is a theory that if the difference between children is less than two years, then the second child will be of the same sex as the first. This is not an axiom, the probability is always 50%.

Important: After the age of 35, the risk of chromosomal diseases such as Down Syndrome increases!

Remember, the family is a single organism, where there is a close relationship between each member of the family, and the well-being of all depends on each of its parts. Approach the birth of your baby responsibly so that the process of adapting to new changes is the easiest. It is very difficult to get into the rhythm of life with two children, but when they grow up, you will learn how to profitably plan the day, leaving free time for yourself.

Planning for a second child is not the easiest thing to do. Even during childbirth, some mothers already know that they will soon give birth to a second baby. Perhaps this will happen in a year or two. And for some, after the birth of their first child, it takes much longer to recover. The age difference between the children of such mothers can be five or even fifteen years.

Many parents after the birth of their first child say: "We are planning a second child." There is an opinion that the difference between children should be no more than one year. However, scientific studies show that such a period between births is too short and can adversely affect the health of both mother and baby. Firstly, everyone knows that in order for a child to grow up healthy, it must be breastfed for up to one and a half, two years. If you become pregnant when your baby is a few months old, your milk will be lost and you will have to formula feed your baby. Currently, their choice is huge, but no matter how good the mixture is, it can never replace mother's milk. Secondly, the female body will experience tremendous stress, as it will not have time to fully recover from the first birth in such a short period of time. He is very exhausted both mentally and physically. Also, with such an early re-pregnancy, there is a risk of premature birth, as well as the birth of babies with less weight.

Too much difference between births (six or more years) also deserves criticism. Firstly, all the “charms” of pregnancy, which can be avoided if you decide to have a second child earlier, will fall on you in full. This is because over such a long period of time, the female body simply “gets out of the habit” of feeling pregnant. Don't forget about age. According to statistics, a modern woman gives birth to her first child between 24 and 26 years old. It turns out the second to appear only after 30! Secondly, many mothers are waiting for the moment when the appearance of a second child will be the most favorable and desirable for everyone. But, unfortunately, in reality, such a moment simply does not exist and there is always a risk that someone will be dissatisfied.

Ultimately, based on research conducted in this area, we can confidently say that the most optimal time for having a second and subsequent child is between two and five years. This period will positively affect both the mother's body and the psyche of the first-born, who is already ready to acquire a brother or sister by this time!

reviews: 23

Tatyana Yuryevna : 19.11.2013
I completely agree with the main idea of the article that children should be planned. My child has been breastfed for almost 2 years, and this is a serious burden on the mother's body, so it is necessary that enough time has passed to restore strength so that the mother is able to bear and give birth to another child.
Svetlana Dronenko (Antipova) : 20.11.2013
The doctor also told me to give the body a rest for a couple of years after pregnancy. And I need to recover, and the first child will grow up. But two years have passed, and we still can’t decide on a second one. I'm already 30 years old, I feel old already. I don't know if we will have a second child. I'm not sure we can handle it financially.
Diana Grinevich : 05.07.2014
Indeed, man proposes, but God disposes. After all, many families immediately tune in to two children, but not always, it turns out that way. Whoever had a difficult birth, she will not soon want to repeat it. Now many people give birth at the age of twenty and therefore they are not in a hurry with the second. The best difference, I think, is from two to three years, when the first child is a little independent. It used to be hard psychologically for a child.

Kira Kira

I also think the difference in two or three years between the kids is the most wonderful. As for breast cramping during pregnancy, milk does not always disappear. True, mom needs to drink more vitamins and eat well so that the kids get everything they need. In any case, if a pregnancy has occurred, it is still better to keep it. As they say, God gave a child, He will give a child.)

Hitomi Sakura : 30.09.2015
A planned pregnancy is always better than an unplanned one. Parents will always be able to calmly prepare for the birth of their second child, there will be no financial or psychological stress, including stress on the mother (which can adversely affect the health of the baby), undergo the necessary tests in the clinic. Yes, and the eldest, parents, you will have time to prepare for replenishment in the family.

Until recently, it seemed to you that pregnancy, childbirth and the first months with a baby turned you into an exhausted, deflated ball. But time passes, forces return, and I want to relive everything again. From this moment, the planning of the second pregnancy begins.

When is the best time to have a second child? It is believed that the ideal time is 2-5 years after the first pregnancy.

This is due to hormonal changes in the body. In addition, the first pregnancy and breastfeeding lead to a deficiency of vitamins and minerals in a woman's body. And it takes time to restore balance.

Due to hypovitaminosis, hair can fall out, nails can peel off, and the skin can peel and crack. However, this is not the most important thing. For the development of the child, again, vitamins and minerals are needed. As a result, the woman's body will lose them, which can lead to even greater problems. As a result, the risk of miscarriage increases. Or the baby can be born weak and with a small weight.

While the first child is very small, asking for arms, and you are forced to carry a stroller, it is undesirable to become pregnant. After all, lifting weights over three kilograms (and the child weighs much more) is contraindicated for a pregnant woman: this is fraught with miscarriage.

If you are going to get pregnant after 2-5 years, these are the optimal dates. The body "remembers" the first pregnancy, there are good chances that the birth will be faster and easier.

If you are planning a second child after 7 years or more, the body has time to “forget” about the first pregnancy and childbirth. There is nothing wrong with this, but be prepared for the fact that you will have to give birth as long and difficult as the first time.

But, of course, if you become pregnant earlier than two years later, and even earlier than a year later, this does not mean that you need to terminate the pregnancy. Millions of women have given birth to healthy babies. And you will succeed too.

Important nuances

There are many factors to consider when deciding when to plan for a second baby.
Do not rush to conceive if the first child was born by caesarean section. In this case, it is imperative to examine the condition of the scar on the uterus, which must heal, otherwise there is a possibility that it will disperse. It is optimal to become pregnant 2-3 years after cesarean.

It is also advisable not to rush to conceive a second child if you have been treated with antibiotics or other potent drugs. This is additional stress for the body, which requires longer term d for recovery.

Boy? Girl?

Many mothers notice a trend: if you conceived in the first year and a half after the birth of your first child, then the second baby will be of the same sex. That is, if the firstborn was a girl, then in a year and a half or two years you will give birth to a second. The same applies to boys. If the planning of the second child begins in two years, then it is highly likely that the children will be of different sexes. However, doctors do not confirm this version. The only way that has a scientific explanation is planning the sex of the child by ovulation.

Firstborn reaction

We must not forget that the appearance of a second child is a responsibility and stress not only for you, but also for your first child. He may not understand why another child should appear in your life. And even blame yourself for the fact that he does something wrong and they want to replace him with another.

He definitely needs to be explained that they will not love him less, that he is not to blame for anything at all, and this, on the contrary, is a great joy. Your first baby should understand that he is also responsible for his brother or sister, that he can take care of him, and in the future, the children will be able to walk and play together.

When planning a second child, you need to not delay talking with the first baby so that he can mentally prepare for this. The more time he has, the easier it will be for him to accept this situation. In addition, this can be a good reason to develop independence if your first child is already at least 3-4 years old.

Planning stages

A prepared and planned pregnancy will be very different from a spontaneous one. Naturally, for the better. How to start planning a second pregnancy?

Wanting a child does not mean having such an opportunity.

Which doctors to go to

Preparing for a second pregnancy should begin with a visit to the doctors.

If you have chronic diseases, visit a specialized doctor, achieve remission.
If you are taking hormonal drugs (for example, for thyroid diseases), visit your endocrinologist and say that you are planning a child. He will adjust the dose.
Heal your teeth.
Visit a therapist, take general blood tests and urine. They'll tell you if there's inflammation in the body. It is important to be cured before pregnancy. After all, a pregnant woman should not use most drugs. Yes, and there will simply be little time for treatment.
A visit to the gynecologist is mandatory even if you feel well. Indeed, even a slight dysbiosis of the vagina (violation of the microflora) or erosion can lead to pregnancy pathologies.
Often women should "drink" preparations containing vitamins and folic acid. But you need to consult your doctor about this.
It is important for a husband to visit an andrologist or urologist.

weight and conception

When planning a second pregnancy, pay attention to yours. If it differs greatly from the norm (in one direction or another), this is a negative factor. Because both excess and lack of fat in the body affects the hormonal balance.

Sometimes the only answer to the question "how to conceive a child?" It's about "losing weight". Obesity should be tackled gradually, carefully and in advance. Since extreme diets and excessive intense training again lead to hormonal disruptions.

The ideal weight for conception is not a “model” weight at all. Lack of fat mass is very harmful, it can lead to a lack of ovulation and even to amenorrhea (absence of menstruation).

Nutrition should be healthy and balanced. You should eat more fruits, vegetables, steam and stews, rich in vitamins, minerals, trace elements.

What to give up

Here's what conscious moms refuse:

Alcohol
"Unhealthy" foods: fried, smoked, fast food. Read the labels: even innocent products like yogurt or cookies can contain many harmful artificial additives.
Smoking.
To conceive a child, you need to give up hormonal contraceptives. It will take at least 3 months to restore reproductive function.

This last point does not apply when a doctor prescribes COCs for pregnancy. Sometimes women come to the gynecologist with the question: "How to quickly get pregnant with a second child?". And the doctor, after examining the hormonal profile, can prescribe contraceptives for a short time. Immediately after their cancellation, the probability of conception increases (the so-called rebound effect).

Your partner will also need some restrictions, as he also contributes to whether you can quickly become pregnant with a second child. The future father should not drink alcohol, as well as go to the bath or sauna. An andrologist may recommend taking medications to improve sperm quality.

First and second - is there a difference

Planning for the second time should be approached as thoroughly as when planning the first pregnancy. Now a woman already knows how to get pregnant, what changes occur in her body. But keep in mind that the second pregnancy is different from the first.

It usually proceeds more easily (although, of course, there are exceptions). The body "remembers" the process of gestation and childbirth, it is easier to adapt to changes.
Varicose veins (if you have this problem) will get worse.
You will feel fetal movements about a month earlier.
The fetus is located slightly lower than with the first child. This relieves heartburn, but sometimes leads to frequent urination.
You will most likely need a bandage, even if you didn't wear one during your first pregnancy.
Childbirth is faster. But the pain usually doesn't get any better.

Psychological readiness

It is necessary to plan the second pregnancy as carefully as the first, and often even more responsibly approach this issue. Along with the physiological health of the mother, her psychological state plays an important role. For example, if there were any complications during the first pregnancy, then it is quite difficult to decide on the second one. After all, it is not easy to experience the fear of losing a child again. Family relationships are also important. It is much easier to prepare for a second pregnancy when you have a trusting relationship with your husband, when he supports, cares and also wishes for the baby to appear.

If the first pregnancy was easy, then this does not mean that the second should be left to chance. There will always be a difference. And if the first pregnancy was difficult, then the second, on the contrary, can pass in one breath. When deciding to conceive a second child, one should not forget that two children are already a double responsibility: both psychological and material. Therefore, the issue must be taken very seriously.

It is an important point and contributes to its favorable course and the birth of a healthy baby.

information Preparing for a second pregnancy does not globally differ from planning the first, however, in some cases, everything may have its own characteristics: for example, if the previous birth ended or with.

When to plan

The main thing when preparing for a new one is to observe the recommended time period. The mother's body experiences significant stress during the period of gestation and birth, and it needs time for complete rehabilitation.

dangerous According to observations and statistics, pregnancies that occur after a short period of time occur with frequent complications and the threat of termination, often ending in premature birth.

Preparing for conception

The list of necessary studies for both spouses:

: complete blood count, general urinalysis, venous blood coagulogram, biochemical blood test;
for syphilis, hepatitis B and C, HIV infection;
sexually transmitted,TORCH- infections;
Fecal analysis for helminth eggs(especially important if there are small children in the family);
Consultations of the therapist and narrow specialists according to indications;
Consultations of a geneticist in the presence of aggravating factors(closely related marriages, the presence of relatives with genetic diseases in the family, the birth of children with developmental defects earlier, etc.).

The list of necessary examinations for a woman:

Obstetrician-gynecologist consultation;
A smear for oncocytology and pathogenic flora, determining the degree of purity of the vagina;
Ultrasound of the pelvic organs;
Colposcopy for diseases of the cervix;
Examination for the presence of antibodies to infectious diseases(especially important if there are children in the family attending childcare facilities).

The list of necessary examinations for a man:

Andrologist (urologist) consultations;
according to indications.

Taking necessary medications

The main drugs in preparation for fertilization are and. Their dosage should be selected by the doctor individually for each couple, but the most commonly used the following reception scheme:

Woman: folic acid from 1 to 15 days of the menstrual cycle, 400 mcg per day, vitamin E from 16 to 25 days, 1 capsule per day;
Man: folic acid 400 mcg and vitamin E 1 capsule per day daily.

If one or both spouses have chronic diseases that require regular medication, you should discuss this issue with your doctor in advance. The doctor will help you choose drugs that are allowed to be taken when carrying a child and do not affect reproductive ability.

Risks of a second pregnancy

It cannot be said that the second pregnancy has a greater risk of complications than the first.

information With the normal health of a woman, the successful course of the previous pregnancy and childbirth, the second pregnancy will also proceed favorably.

Certain nuances are available if there is a history. In this case, the woman should carefully listen to the recommendations of the doctor and carefully follow them. At the stage, you should undergo examinations in advance to determine the condition of the scar on the uterus. With its failure, the risk of developing complications increases significantly (see the topic "").

It is also possible that problems arise with a positive Rhesus father. In this case, already during the first pregnancy, antibodies may appear, the number of which can increase significantly with repeated conceptions. With this problem, the expectant mother needs to be examined at the planning stage and undergo repeated examinations after it occurs.

How to prepare your firstborn

Often, when planning a new pregnancy, many spouses are concerned about how their first child will perceive the birth of a brother or sister. Of course, such doubts are justified, because the birth of the first-born is always looked forward to, and the child from the moment of his birth bathes in the love and affection of all relatives and becomes, in fact, a small king in a family where everyone obeys his desires and needs.

With the advent of another baby, parents will no longer be able to give their first child such an abundance of attention, which is often perceived by the child with hostility. Jealousy in children is a common occurrence, they can very painfully perceive the manifestation of parents' feelings for another baby.

important In such a situation, you should not think only about yourself and your needs, you must also take into account the wishes of your child. It does not matter what words you find for your son or daughter to explain that your family will soon increase by one more little man. The main thing is that your child does not begin to feel lonely and deprived of the attention of his beloved parents and knows that, no matter what, he is still loved and protected.