The husband lost all the money. Husband plays on bets ... what should a wife do? Consequences of gambling
Together with a psychotherapist at the Rehab Family clinic in Moscow and a specialist in the treatment of gambling addiction Roman Gerasimov, Rating Bookmakers traced the path of a gambler in sports betting - from the formation of addiction to going to a doctor, rehabilitation. We learned who is more prone to gambling, how to identify it in yourself, how it is treated and how great the chances of getting rid of it are.
How the game turns into a disease
For people suffering from nervous, mental illness, it is common to deny the problem. “Well, yes, I drink several times a week, but I can stop, what kind of alcoholism is this!” Any alcoholic will say. “Yes, I’ve been betting for many years, constantly in a decent red, but I’m just unlucky, everything will change soon,” every gambler believes. But, alas, addiction is something that a person cannot take and simply refuse, no matter how simple it may seem to him.
“Gambling addiction is a serious disease,” explains Roman Gerasimov. And like any other disease, it has different stages. For help, as a rule, people who have suffered serious losses due to gambling tend to apply or they are brought. This, one might say, is the main “symptom” of loss. Loss of financial, social status, personal relationships - most often due to debts. Because of this, friends and relatives are lost. There may be problems with the law against the backdrop of unpaid loans, people can even turn to criminal structures in search of money. Everyone understands and sees this, but they cannot stop. This is a sign of addiction to games - they are not able to stop without help.
Each person has his own bottom, reaching which, he can independently come to the clinic. Someone realizes how much he has fallen, stealing from loved ones. And someone, even being alone under the fence, near death, is looking for ways to play. Usually, an addicted person denies his problem, the presence of gambling addiction to the last. After all, if he recognizes it, he will have to stop playing. And denial allows him to continue, explaining this with various motives - I just had a black streak, I’m about to get lucky, I just didn’t gain experience.
“Such patients are most often brought to a psychotherapist by relatives or they come under pressure from their relatives,” says the psychotherapist. - But gamers themselves also come, this is also not uncommon. They come if they know where to go. There is a typical example in my practice. When gambling in Russia was not banned and not regulated, up to 80% of gamblers who came to the rehabilitation program came to us through business cards that were distributed in gambling halls and casinos. This is a very important psychological moment: in gambling establishments, having lost, a person realizes that this is no longer possible. In a day or two, he will again be engulfed in the game, but if at this moment, so to speak, insights, he has information before his eyes, he can ask for help. And this is a real chance to get out of this situation for him.
Sports betting gamblers
Are there some features of gamers who are unable to interrupt their game on sports betting? According to the specialist, gambling addiction is often mixed. And betting lovers are distinguished by their belief in the factor of analysis, and not blind luck. Although in fact they are far from the analysis.
“In my practice, there were enough patients who played in bookmakers,” says Roman Gerasimov. - And even more often, gambling was mixed, that is, a person was attracted by any gambling for money - betting, slot machines, casinos, poker, and even stock trading belongs to this category. The peculiarity of those players who make bets is in their attitude towards themselves. They consider themselves good analysts, doing some intellectual work. In general, they do not believe that they rely only on luck, and believe that everything depends solely on them. Indeed, there are people who act unemotionally, rely only on calculation, they are interested in betting or stock trading as a form of earnings. They should win more often, or at least win and lose in roughly equal proportions.
So, if a person constantly loses more in money, but at the same time does not limit himself, but continues and even raises the stakes, then there is no analytics and calculation behind this, this is already a manifestation of gambling addiction. And what distinguishes a player from an analyst is that he is not interested in winning, no matter how much he inspires himself to do so.
- His "drug", so to speak, is excitement, excitement from the game itself, bursts of a high level of emotional state, both positive and negative. The euphoria of victory, the despair of defeat - the player wants to feel them all the time, and this pulls him to bet again and again. Professional players make money with their game, so there is no place for emotions in their actions, only calculation. Gamblers, even if they are well versed in betting, will act on emotions and illogically, because it makes them feel more excited, afraid to lose and desire to win. The point of no return here is when the game turns from pleasure into a problem that makes you lose more and more money.
But very few are able to feel this moment. Because, even having lost the pleasure of the process, they see the prospect of receiving it in the future. Therefore, it is very difficult for addicted people to follow the slogan.
Portrait of a gamer
Who is most likely to get addicted to gambling? The psychological image is clear: it is characteristic of a dependent personality type. And for this type, the form of dependence is not critical.
- It’s just that on the path of life he came across bookmakers, casinos or machines, or alcohol, for example, could come across. Or, even more often, he depends on alcohol too, says the therapist. - Gamers are a fairly wide social contingent. If we talk about personal experience, then most often we are talking about the middle class or a little lower. These are not lonely people - most often family, with children. They have a certain dissatisfaction with their social position or the situation in the family, there is a desire to feel significant. A person thinks - I will hit the jackpot and provide for my entire family. Such a “delicious” version of a freebie, especially since there are examples in front of your eyes when a person bet little, won a lot and became a hero. But in fact, I described only one characteristic portrait out of a dozen. There are many other examples - a different motivation, a different social status. The portrait of a gamer is definitely not a narrow portrait.
The main "symptom" of gambling is the loss of financial, social status, personal relationships - most often due to debts.
Treat from the game
The first rule of treating gambling addiction is the recognition by patients of their addiction. As soon as he realizes it and completely refuses the game, he will embark on the path of recovery. It is clear that this is not easy. And abstinence from the game is required, and not temporary, but complete.
- The golden dream of any addict is to control the process of consumption, substance, drink, game. But the truth is that this is impossible, insists Roman Gerasimov. “You can’t teach a gamer to play responsibly. Once he starts betting again, he will be on his way to an inevitable relapse. It is an illusion that he will be able to stop in time this time.
Rehabilitation programs for gamers are different.
- Ours, for example, were outpatient, that is, without placement in the clinic for the entire duration of treatment. People came to class. Group therapy is very important here, so that the player understands that he is not alone in his problem, sees that it proceeds in a similar way for everyone. Of course, individual psychological sessions are carried out, and certain work is given at home for introspection. People get acquainted with the peculiarities of the disease, their behavior, learn how they deceive themselves, begin to understand the true reason for their game. After all, players think that they play in order to win money. But in fact, in this way they fill the emotional vacuum, get the vitality that they lack.
It doesn’t matter if a person is poor or rich, the rich have their own problems that are not related to social and financial insecurity, they are dissatisfied with many things in life, and the game becomes a surrogate for emotions for them. Therefore, it is very important that a person begins to realize this. And, as soon as he learns to abstain, to keep the game "sobriety", it is necessary to teach him to fill this vacuum in a different way, to develop him as a person. So that there is no shortage of simple human emotions.
How many are able to recover from addiction, stop losing money once and for all? Roman Gerasimov talks about the percentage of those who got rid of gambling addiction on the basis of a rehabilitation program in which he was directly involved as a specialist. It successfully passed about 40% of patients.
- Of these, about half managed to completely get rid of addiction, to maintain "sobriety". And the other 20% still broke down and started playing again, some of them then came to our program again. Well, the majority, 60%, either broke down in the process of undergoing rehabilitation, or simply left the program of their own free will. In principle, the percentage of those who recover from gambling addiction is comparable to other forms of addiction, since their nature is similar. For some parameters, gambling is easier, for some it is harder. For example, drug addicts can stay in the system of use for 5, 7, and 10 years. And a gamer can lose everything in six months or a year and literally burn out. But, of course, this is not necessary, each case of addiction is a special case that needs to be dealt with individually, albeit following the general principles of treatment.
Stories of more than one gamer
In Europe, they appeared quite a long time ago, and in Russia the so-called clubs of anonymous players (by analogy with the societies of anonymous alcoholics) are gaining popularity. These are both Internet projects and offline communities where people with gambling addiction can meet, chat, talk about their problems, ask for help and support. The same group therapy that Roman Gerasimov is talking about. "Rating of Bookmakers" studied dozens of stories of sports betting gamblers and chose several indicative ones.
The gambling addiction of one of the family members is a disaster for all relatives
"Hooked again..."
"I am 35 years old. Married a second time, son 5 years. The first time I got acquainted with the slot machine back in 2000: everything is simple - I bet x rubles - I got xx rubles. And then it started: everything that he had earned was taken away to the pavilions with slot machines, trying to return what he had lost. Occasionally there were wins, but in general, by and large, I lost everything. The first wife began to understand that the family budget was going to the side, - he confessed to his trouble, they decided to cope with it together. But in any case, he tried to play tricks, did it ... As a result - a bunch of overdue loans, problems with his wife, a hut for rent - there is also a delay here, he borrowed from friends - he lost many friends ... In short, everything is bad: life has changed and turned into a continuous game . My wife and I divorced - by and large, because of the excitement. I decided to start a new life, I promised myself to quit casinos and slot machines. Found a new job, girl. A year later, the wedding - a son was born, everything is fine, work, family. There is no game - it dawned on me that you won’t be in the black anyway, I realized that this topic is closed for me. In addition, in Russia at that time the reform of the gaming business - all casinos were closed, or rather, almost all, but I was no longer interested in these issues. New life, money, new car, apartment, travel… Friends — everything is fine. And then there's sports betting. By chance. Sat down again. And away we go - debts, loans, problems with my wife, friends, relatives. Now we are on the verge of a divorce - although I have had my own business for a long time, and I earn more than an office employee, every 7-10 times. And everything goes to the bookmakers. I sold a good car a long time ago, I drive an old Honda, and it is also mortgaged in a pawnshop ... I strained with friends, no one will ever lend money. All in all, I'm desperate. In a good way - stop - do not play another month - there will be no debts. I want this very much and now I make a promise to all of you that I will not bet any more. Every day I will report, I will go into myself, into work, I will take patronage over myself.
“Yeah, Manchester United will take these candidates to the first league in any case ...”
“I made the first bets according to the principle: yes, Manchester United will take these candidates to the first league anyway, everything is obvious here, and why take bets on this? Later, a no less idiotic principle: I'll bet on TM in the 87th minute, well, who will score here already with a score of 2-0, and why is it important? You know, beginners are really lucky. Still, really, fools. But according to this logic, I, a fool who is not able to stop, should just be lucky. Only figs lay there, but more on that later. So, such idiotic bets even led me at some point, if not to a plus, then to almost complete winning back what I lost earlier in the loto. But where should I stay? “We will catch up and overtake”, “we will complete the five-year plan in 4 years” ... Excellent slogans to describe the style of my game then, and still in many ways. A series of idiotic bets, which for some reason have ceased to be massive. An even bigger drain. But I was smart enough not to drain all the savings. Oh yes, I completely forgot. At some point, my mother suddenly decided to support my goal of saving for my own housing, and even almost always gave some solid part of her small salary. With a report on the total amount of current savings at an arbitrary point in time, of course. Plus he made some money on the Internet. By itself, the amount has grown steadily, if you throw losses out of life. And then began "stability". In terms of rates, of course. A stable game every 2-3 weeks, and a stable drain of solid amounts every 2-3 months. This went on for over 2 years. Money still continued to accumulate, and even managed to somehow imperceptibly reach the planned amounts. As a result, there was already an amount for a microscopic studio apartment at the stage of excavation somewhere in an open field outside the Moscow Ring Road. Let on such a lousy, but still an apartment. But then February of this year came. It would seem that another planned drain, given that the last one was in early December. Yes, but now it has grown into a real gambling binge. I don’t want to go into a detailed chronology of this viscous swamp, but the idea is that at the moment my crappy virtual apartment has already turned into nothing more than a foreign car of the middle class. I especially want to note that my mother eventually had to confess. First, in early June, about the minus is not yet such an enchanting amount. And the second time - just a week ago, at that time in full. Why at that moment? Yes, because I still managed to merge literally just now. My mother's reaction was some degree of shock, plus a complete refusal to make further contributions to my "capital". Which drives me even more into a state of hopelessness. That money was added, and now it has sharply decreased, so I also freeze at a dead point. Lost doubly, so to speak. But I don’t give a damn if I know for sure that I won’t make a single bet in my life. So at least you can see the light in the distance. True, every day this option seems to me less and less realistic, because the swamp sucks. Plus, the stories in which they get out of this swamp come out at best in one of a couple of hundred. You know, I have already lost faith in my uniqueness ... And yes, I especially want to celebrate my life. More precisely, its shameful, primarily for himself, content. No interests, no joys, absolute zero motivation in everything. Why, even a girl has never been in her life. The house is a uni-computer, and that's it. And now to the banal. How to get out of this swamp? How to stop betting and fill your life with something bright and in sufficient quantity?
"Lost money for a child"
“I am a player with 14 years of experience. I have 5-6 credits, I don't remember exactly how many. In one of 8 thousand, 400 grew. I tried to quit. She was in rehabilitation, but could not stand it and ran away from psychologists. Yesterday, my friend and I took another loan, she took it upon herself, and blew it all away, there was a fire in the club, and we barely got out of there. I think that this is definitely a sign: if I continue, then the end. I want to say that no matter what theories we build (how to win), the end is the same. Just yesterday I lost money for a child for a birthday, today I generally feel bad. I have not played for 12 hours - this is already an achievement for me. I think we should go back to Gamblers Anonymous. Because after the meetings, the cravings still go away.
“It seemed that I could quit at any moment”
“I have been losing money in bookmakers for 5 years, the last 2 years were especially unprofitable: about 1 million or more. Now I got a loan of 400 thousand. All wages go to wagering. The most interesting thing is that it always seemed to me, and even now it sometimes seems that I can quit at any moment, although in reality this is not so. Family and friends don't know. A spoonful of honey is that in 6 months I will pay off my debts if I save hard and do not bet anymore. There were short breaks lasting a couple of months, why did you start again? Can't find an explanation... The mood after losing bets is below zero. Complete depression, and this is reflected in others. And the absolute opposite when won: euphoria, it seems that you can do everything in this life. I never understood drug addicts and alcoholics, but in fact I myself am an order of magnitude worse.
According to the classics of the genre, it all started with public pressure: they say, you won’t get married at the university, that’s all - the chance to get married then is negligible. But I got lucky. It all started so beautifully ... He said that I would live in paradise. And so it happened: she lived naked and ate only apples ...
It is hard to believe how the professor's daughter, an attractive and smart girl with an MSLU education, could fall in love with a simple guy with a secondary medical education and from a not very prosperous family. Eh, but his eyes were so blue and bottomless that it seemed you could look into them all your life. Yes, and from parental care so wanted to escape. By the way, to escape from a large and cozy three-room apartment to a rented one-room apartment without furniture… Well, isn't it romantic? And the girl got used to living like a god in her bosom, her parents did not refuse her anything.
But as soon as the wedding celebrations were over, the "real" life began.
So, my name is Anna, I'm 27 years old. I don’t even know now if this is my story about a failed marriage or the story of a young man who came from a small town and found himself a girlfriend to stay in the capital. It should be mentioned that my parents were immediately against such a marriage. But on the condition that the future husband would receive a higher education, they agreed to give up their only child. By the way, later they themselves paid for his education.
Was there love? Of course it was, otherwise the marriage would not have lasted 4.5 years. Probably, having matured and wised up, it is difficult to love a person just like that, no matter what. And that feeling was sincere and pure ... And this marriage would not have ended in divorce, if not for one "but".
My ex-husband was always waiting for a miracle, promised me that tomorrow everything would change, it would be different and we would “live”. While he was dreaming, sitting on the couch, I wrote term papers for him, found a job. And he sat and rejoiced. His work required 15 days off per month. And all his free time he thought about how to make money. And I came up with an easy way...
At first I did not know that he was trying to "make money" in the casino. But when he began to play on credit, he had to tell. And away we go. Endless debts, loans, 3 loans were issued to me, because banks have already refused to issue him. He just came and confronted the fact that he owed a certain amount of money. Silly, you say? Yes, but when you're trying to save a loved one, you don't think about the means. But everything has its limit.
We had to move in with my parents because they could no longer pay the rent and our money went to paying off loans. And my husband had to play something. Then gold jewelry began to disappear. Sometimes you just had to close the jewelry box with a lock, and the next day the lock was successfully broken, and the gold was handed over to the pawnshop. I received another salary and redeemed jewelry. And so endlessly. And each time he swore that this was the last time ...
One fine day I decided: that's it, I've had enough. This person does not need help, he just likes to live. While he degraded, I was promoted, and he could lose more and more money from my salary. But I still felt sorry for him, I thought he would disappear without me. Therefore, she did not divide the loans through the court, she simply left with those that were issued to me (for a total amount of about 2 thousand USD), and he took the refrigerator and TV (well, jointly acquired!).
This is how our story ended. Am I sorry? No. So fate decreed: that spoiled girl had to understand where her parents get money for her whims and how difficult it is to earn it. I almost paid off my loans. I myself now work in a bank, as a chief specialist. My only regret is that at the age of 27 I have no family, children and a loved one. I regret that I didn’t always tell my dad, who is no longer there, how much I appreciate and love him.
But I know for sure that a woman should fall in love with a bad person once, so that later she can be grateful for a good one all her life!
From the editor. Submit your stories to [email protected] We will mark the most interesting stories with a special monthly prize - two certificates for 700 thousand rubles in the Minsk hypermarket. And the winner of the entire competition will receive a cool smartphone or a $1,000 travel voucher.
Hi all. Wandered here by accident... but it turned out to be just what I needed... I have a problem... I'm a gambler, I bet on football, and I finished my game, I lost a lot of money, and now I'm all in debt.... it won't be like this anymore maybe I need help, because I have a wife and a little son ... and I give everything to the three-headed devil named excitement: (there were thoughts of suicide, etc., but after reading the stories here (hard) I realized that this is nonsense and everything is in my hands .... but 5 minutes have passed and it has cooled down .... but this sore does not cool down, it needs to be cut out, otherwise I feel it will bring me to tsigunder Mlyn: ((what to do?, how to cope with this myself, I don’t want to tell my wife I’m worried about this ... but again, in one, I understand that I can’t cope .... I lost my working money, and tomorrow I need to somehow reimburse 14 thousand rubles to the cashier, I don’t have any thoughts at all :(
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sasha, age: 08/29/2015
Responses:
Brother, I've been in a similar situation, so I understand you. First you need to tell your wife everything (sooner or later she will find out anyway!), then urgently to a psychiatrist (this is now the only way out for you).
Eugene, age: 32 / 08/03/2015
Good afternoon Sasha, you need to stop. You are already an adult, you are responsible for your wife and child! Quit the bad habit, don't drive yourself into a corner. The further you go, the more wood you will cut. Pay off your debts slowly and move on with a clear conscience.
Irina, age: 08/27/2015
Alexander, I understand you very much, because I myself at one time, due to alcohol addiction, made a bunch of debts that I have been paying off for several years, and it is very embarrassing to tell my relatives about it.
The main thing is that you can get out of the trap if you start treating addiction as a useless and malicious program that does absolutely nothing for you, but only destroys your life. Deep down you may not think so, you may have excuses, but think about this: most people do not play and do not feel that they are missing something, and you once did very well without games. Gambling in this sense is very similar to smoking or drug use - a completely useless and destructive need.
If you do not think so, and you have arguments FOR the game, then these are the hooks for which the devil is holding you. Work with them: "The game helps to distract and relieve stress" - "Is my life really less stressful? And aren't there other ways to have fun / relieve stress", "The game can hit the jackpot" - "Is my financial situation improved?".
When you are drawn to play, imagine that this devil-tempter sits on your neck and seduces, sometimes presses and presses. His goal is to deceive you at any cost and force you to continue feeding your addiction. If you imagine everything in this way, do not bargain with the devil and do not cling to false illusions (the game gives me ...), then resisting the devil is not so difficult.
But if you can’t cope on your own, then it’s better to seek help from psychologists, as well as look for forums for gamers on the net.
In any case, you have already taken a huge step forward by acknowledging the problem, acknowledging that you are not in control of yourself, and something needs to be done about it, and radically. And there will definitely be a solution. Good luck to you!
Raniel, age: 08/29/2015
Sasha, my husband 10 years ago, when there were still casinos, also suffered from this disease. He said he lost several apartments... Thank God that was before meeting me, I think I would not have been able to bear it. I managed it myself, but I want to say that it is being treated. Like any addiction. You just need to make a decision. Well, not suicide, really.
Now the casino bypasses a mile away (well, when they were still open). I decided for myself - never a foot in a casino and no games for money - otherwise life is really over.
14 thousand is not that much money. Borrow re-borrow. But it makes sense if you are really determined to quit.
If you do not decide - the wife will leave, take her son. You will lose EVERYTHING. It is addiction. SHE IS TREATED. You are not alone with this problem. Ask for help.
By the way, my husband already left me yesterday :) But I'm still proud of him for the firmness of his character.
Olga (abandoned woman), age: 34 / 08/04/2015
Alexander, good day. The situation is serious, solvable. The most important thing now is that you are talking about it. It means that it doesn't matter, the worst thing is when indifference in a person takes over. It is not easy to overcome such dependence on your own, you need a professional here, for sure. Where to find a good specialist to resolve the issue, call Mikhail Igorevich Khasminsky Help will be. That's not all. Now about what you can do yourself. As an option: it’s good to go to the temple, order a Prayer for help for yourself to the Most Holy Theotokos "Inexhaustible Chalice". In my temple, for example, once a week they read it specifically about those who are addicted to various passions. It is good to approach the priest and tell about yours. To tell relatives, perhaps later, when the first results of the struggle with passion appear, the wise spouse will always support. Re-borrow money and give it back, this is a temporary resource. The main thing for you now is: "I tell myself STOP!!!" Provided if the movement continues to the "edge" you lose everything. I think that you, Alexander, are a sane person and will not conduct experiments on yourself. And then the very fact of suicide does not solve the problem. what will you leave behind, to whom. For what? God gives us each a trial according to the strength of our spirit. And our task is to pass them with dignity. Absolutely no loss in life is hardly possible, even for the most successful. We are losing something. and in return we find that no one has canceled the cycle of life. Passing the test - We all GROW UP! I think you will succeed. The main thing is to believe that this test is not easy for you. Perhaps God is protecting you in this way from a more terrible thing that could happen. I wish you Hope for the Almighty and of course for yourself. I wish you active Love for your neighbors. Redirect the situation in a different direction - This will be your answer to LIFE. Strength, patience, perseverance, strength of mind, clarity of mind and victory. Sincerely, Galina. ALL LIFE IS A FIGHT! NEVER, NEVER, NEVER GIVE UP. Thanks to this motto, I survived, I live and will live as long as God allows!
Galina 8, age: 46 / 08/11/2015
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Hello Dina! If your husband dependent, then you are in touch with him - codependent, and your behavior is directed to what is happening in the current relationship, (of course, unconsciously). A written answer will not be able to influence you so that you have a correction in your behavior and attitude towards your husband, so that the situation changes. You need to visit a specialist in your city who specializes in this area and be treated. If we talk about him, then you yourself know that what he says is at odds with his deeds and actions, he cannot control his behavior, and his gambling addiction takes over and controls him! If he doesn't want to and will not be “treated”, then all your persuasions are useless, no matter how you behave: in a good way or in a bad way! And then we are talking about you - if you want to save the family, then you need to take such behavior that can change your relationship cardinally in one direction or another, the other in this case is not given! And know that if you experience feelings of shame, fear (rejection, inadequacy, etc.), guilt, pity for him, and self-sacrifice, then the relationship is manipulative.
This is a note. What is your change in attitude towards him? Stop treating him like a weak and needy person! Treat him as an adult, smart, strong and responsible person who is able to take care of himself and you, and start making money on his own. Your investments in the general budget of the family should be of equal value or be compensated by something important, if this is not the case, then you allow this to be, and then, it will continue to behave in a similar way and worse. His dependent part will demand more and more .., he will promise, but not fulfill, if only you would give him money, give in, etc. If you become categorical, then he will become angry with you, take offense, be angry, manipulate, etc. Then the question is - who are you to him: a wife or a savior who performs a function, as stated in the saying "The road to hell is paved with good intentions"?! Shift the focus of your attention to yourself - taking care of yourself; take care of your true needs! Decide what you want in this relationship, and what you absolutely do not want, provide it to him, and if he does not fulfill his promises (refusal to play and the treatment that he does himself!), Then you need to fulfill your requirements! Everything else in a personal meeting and better with a Gestalt Therapist who specialized in addictions! Do you have them in the city. All the best. Sincerely, Ludmila K.
Husband loses all the money, keeps correspondence, he doesn't need me
Hello Nora.Your situation is not the most rosy. I sympathize with you.
His grandmother is not very well behaved and says everything to her face, it doesn’t matter if it’s true or just her guesses. All the time my husband says what a bad family I have and I. This irritates me very much, I also speak rudely to my husband about his family, tk. I can't stand this attitude.
Do you live with his parents and his grandmother? Is it possible to somehow separate from the grandmother and not contact her? Living with a toxic person is very difficult. This can really have a big impact on relationships. Try all the same to separate your relationship to your grandmother from your relationship to your husband. Grandma may not be very adequate. It hurts and hurts you to hear bad words, maybe you want protection and support from your husband. But the relationship is so messed up that now there is only a lot of irritation and dissatisfaction with each other.
You can try to understand your relationship with your husband and try to separate it from the relationship with his family members. Maybe something will change for the better. In a detailed conversation with you, we will be able to analyze what is happening in your relationship, what values in life together are still preserved for you and for your husband.
If you decide to apply, I will be happy to help you.
Sincerely, psychologist,
Makarova Lola.
