Women's Initiative. When can you call to remind yourself? Is it possible to call a man first

There is an opinion that the first step should be taken by a man, and this applies to almost all spheres of life. And it would seem that such a trifle as “Call first or not?” can be confusing. So let's see if it's worth taking the initiative and calling the man first?

Of course, it is up to you to decide whether to call or not, and even if they tell you to “call”, you should not obey unconditionally. If you are sure that you are doing everything 100% right, then do what you want. But today we will talk about why it is still worth calling and what are the exceptions.

But remember, as soon as you start to take the initiative (in calls or not), your action is automatically assessed. This can be compared to a store where they want to see you and drag you in by force, if only you buy something, or, on the contrary, there are already so many customers there, and you are useless. This is how women are perceived by men.

Therefore, if you decide to call first, be prepared for the fact that:

1. The guy just didn't want to call you first.
2. He has someone or he arranges a new meeting.
3. He just sits and waits for your call, because he managed to tame you.

No matter how busy a man is, if he wants to call, he will call.

In addition, your call, according to the man, means only one thing - i want to sleep with him. And even if it's not really true, the man still thinks so. You have to put up with it if you call first. Or you should only call when you really want to.

You can call with such a request a “friend” with whom you can have fun, you can have a drink and relax. Only in this case, after a couple of such calls, the man will understand that everything that happens is necessary first of all for you and will begin to build a “jelly young lady” out of himself. And then the man will lower the price tag, which will certainly be. He will remove everything that was before sex - bars, cafes, restaurants, gifts and leave only what he himself likes.

And if this is your option and it's more convenient, then please. Then you can safely call him, and even if the man has someone, take him with his availability. In this case, the worst thing that can happen to you is moving to the bottom of the list. But not forever. In any case, until the man is convinced that nothing shines on the other.

The second time you can call first is one night relationship. Usually, this happens on trips, business trips, through mutual friends in some city. If you decide to spend one night with a person and know that you will no longer need his number, then go ahead. But it only works in this way. Otherwise, the man will begin to think that you want something more or fell in love with him.

The third option is provocation. But in this case, you need to do everything very carefully. At the very least, if you play too much, you can get a not very good reputation, and you will be considered a whore or a girl with a high price tag.

And I don't know which is worse. After all, you can break out of the category of “whores”, and many want this. But lowering the bar is already much more difficult. At best, you will not have anyone at the moment, at worst, never.

When does provocation work?

This works if you turn on the Pusi mode, which we have talked about more than once. That is, you play, if that makes sense. And most importantly, at any time you can show your teeth. And when you stop calling first, and the man begins to make claims that you are not calling, you can easily turn everything into a joke. Or sincerely surprised, saying, “What should I do?” The main thing is not to make excuses and not come up with excuses, because otherwise the man will understand that you are on the hook. You should really treats men indifferently, and only then can you be a provocateur. Otherwise, it's pointless.

In fact, women do not have a constant thought about who to sleep with, unlike men. They are versatile and often have many interests. If so, then why do most of them sit by the phone and wait for him to call? By behaving in this way, you only encourage the male sex to think that apart from them and a successful marriage, nothing else interests you.

Alas, it just happens, because a woman has two extremes - either she does nothing and waits stupidly, or she is so busy that you can’t break through to her. There is simply no other option.

Of course, a woman should be busy, but not only with work. You must have a life! And if a man asks you “Are you free on Friday evening?”, you will not answer “Yes, after work I am free”, but “The girls and I are going for a walk, if you want, come with us.” Only then you will not have a question whether to call him or not. He will call himself to pull you out of your circle.

So many women sin with this, and not only those who broke up with the former. In most cases, a man perceives this call as a reason to sleep, which is not surprising. After all, it is unlikely that you will call him drunk and invite him to the library. And worst of all, when he takes advantage of it, and your price tag drops. And to raise it, or rather not let it fall, is possible only in one case - when you really do not care. If this is not the case, then it is better not to experiment.

In conclusion, we will analyze a few examples from life.

“I have changed a lot. She began to take care of herself, found a new job and divorced her ex-husband. But now I want to call him again. Is it worth it?

If for the sake of just sleeping and in fact you don’t need it, then you can. If there are any feelings left or you want to prove something to him, then you should not.

“Is it okay to call a man and ask him for something?”

Imagine that you come to the store without money and ask for clothes on credit. Surely you understand your position. When you call a man, the essence is the same. You want to get something without paying for it. If you called and offered him to sleep, and after that asked to do something for you, this is one thing. And if immediately with a request, then why does he need it?

Why doesn't the man call? How many young ladies and mature girls suffer from insomnia during long summer nights, trying to find the answer. Why is that? A magical acquaintance, a long-awaited meeting, an unforgettable rendezvous, a kiss under the porch, the admiring glances of the chosen one and the promise to call, but then a day passes, the second, and the phone is silent. What happened? There could be thousands of reasons for this. But the most likely one is that the sons of Adam do not call beautiful women because there is no desire. No need to try to find flaws in your own person. Yes, the girl did not hook the guy enough, as a result of which the failed boyfriend did not call back. There is no need to suffer and make a tragedy due to the lack of news. It is impossible to be liked by absolutely all male individuals. Suffice it to recall how many inept admirers she herself refused.

Why a man does not call - a man's look

Almost every young lady is familiar with the torment over the lack of calls from a guy who has sunk into her soul and the senseless expectations of news from him. Unfulfilled "dreams" cause disappointment, give rise to resentment and annoyance. Girls begin to come up with many excuses for such behavior of the chosen one. Often the excuses they make up for not calling are pretty ridiculous. However, everything is easier than it seems.

It is necessary to recognize as true the fact that the views of the sons of Adam and the beautiful women on similar events are strikingly different. If the gentleman you like did not call back, he does not need to look for excuses. The probability of finding a chosen one at death is only 1%, the loss of a phone is 1%, an incorrectly "clogged" number is 2%, and not wanting to bother one's person with communication with a newly-made acquaintance is 86%. If a man is not indifferent to a beauty, he will certainly find an opportunity and take a minute to call her. The remaining 10% are other, so to speak, good reasons. There are 10 of them. According to the percentage of probability for each reason.

So, the first option is why the man does not call first. It's just that the strong half does not attach value to such a stupid activity as pointless conversations on the phone. Chatting for hours is considered a female prerogative. A man will dial the number of the young lady he likes when he is ripe for an invitation to a rendezvous or when he decides to tell something important. Although, here it must be clarified that a gentleman in love, most often, will cut off telephone wires.

Option two - little time has passed, so the guy did not have time to get bored.

In addition, not all Adam's sons are assertive and confident, there are guys who are afraid to seem intrusive, afraid that the girl did not like them, afraid of being misunderstood. That's why they don't call.

Often the reason for the lack of messages lies in financial difficulties that prevent a man from inviting a lady he likes on a date. However, when material problems are left behind, he will most likely remind of his own person, unless, of course, another young charmer sinks into his soul.

There are also force majeure reasons that do not depend on the guy himself, for example, illness, an urgent business trip, workload in professional activities. When the situation levels off a little, the man will call the young lady.

Often, the male sex doubts that he has generated reciprocal sympathy from the lady, and therefore they will not stuff themselves into boyfriends. The fact that the woman they like needs to be won, such gentlemen do not suspect. It’s easier for them to think that they didn’t succeed in making an impression, therefore it makes no sense to continue communication than to muster up the courage and invite a charming young lady to a rendezvous.

Throwing away the possibility that a new acquaintance is already in a love affair is also not worth it. He met the beauty under the influence of the moment, the mood, the friends pushed, but later, having sensibly judged, the guy came to the conclusion that the well-known old relationship is better than the unknown. Men are rather lazy and big conservatives. In order for the male gender to decide to end an old relationship for the sake of a relationship with a new acquaintance, there must be either a mad passion that clouded the mind, or an arrow of cupid that hit right in the heart.

Option eight - the guy decided to use the technique called "further-closer". On a date, he enveloped the girl with warmth and love. This is the "closer" stage. Then the young man practices the “further” stage, that is, he steps back, takes a break, does not telephone. He wants the young lady to miss, which would encourage her to take the first step on her own. These guys are professional.

The guy does not give news, because he simply does not know what to talk about with a newly-made acquaintance, he is not a fan of telephone conversations, when he outlines a clear action plan for a beauty, then he will dial her number and invite her to a rendezvous.

When meeting, the boyfriend wrote down the phone number on a piece of paper, a used trolleybus ticket, banknotes and lost the treasured numbers. This also happens.

However, it should be remembered that the probability of each of the above problems preventing a man from calling is only one chance in a hundred. Basically, the strong half does not call back when the girl is not very hooked. Therefore, rather than aimlessly tormented by the question of why a man does not call first, it is better to devote your free time to your appearance, shopping, meeting friends, family, sports, walking. There are thousands of options to spend fun and interesting, as well as useful, time. Against the background of pleasant and fruitful leisure, the absence of a call from an unfamiliar young man is a trifle.

Why does a man not call first, but always answers?

It's so elementary to take the phone and, through the simplest manipulations, dial the number in order to hear a native or not very voice. Then why do men say “call” instead of calling yourself? Why do some male individuals almost instantly answer the call, but they never call first, so as not to disturb the girl's peace? Is it really so important who will be the first to dial these ill-fated digits of a telephone number?! When a young lady misses chatting with her friend, she dials her number without hesitation. So why, when it comes to the opposite sex, women are torn by doubts? All this is because this particular gentleman is a stranger to a girl. Their relationship is still at the stage of acquaintance or first meetings. After all, the wife never doubts whether to call her husband first today or wait until he remembers that his half is waiting for news from him. An exception is the situation of a temporary confrontation, which arose, for example, on the occasion of the disappearance of paired socks after washing. Here, married ladies are tormented by questions of a slightly different kind: why a man does not call first after a quarrel.

So, why do beautiful women doubt the need to take the first step. First of all, because to this day it is considered wrong to call the first strong half. Most ladies brought up on heroic novels are used to waiting for initiative from men. However, one should not lose sight of the fact that the age of chivalrous prowess is long gone. Modern gentlemen are rather inert and expect initiative from girls. This happens because supply exceeds demand. After all, many young charmers have completely forgotten about dignity. Today, girls are easily accessible and quite intrusive. One will not call, but others will call. Therefore, it makes no sense for men to strain. However, if the girl really hooked him, really liked him, then he will always find an opportunity and set aside time for telephone chatter with his passion. The girl who won the heart of a guy will not hear from him the phrase: “well, if you call something.” Here is the explanation why men say "call"?

It does not matter what reason s moved the interested young individual not to make attempts to communicate. It is important to behave with dignity. One must love one's own personality and not let the so-called males play with their feelings.

Why did the man stop calling and texting?

After several meetings with the guy, the girl already colorfully presented her wedding dress, picked up makeup, made a guest list, and he disappeared. How so? Against the background of apparent well-being, the "betrothed" suddenly stopped calling and writing. What to do? If there would be, then there would be no need to look for an explanation why a man does not call first after a quarrel.

And if the relationship is good, then why did he take the position of silence? Maybe he fell off the balcony, saving the kitten, or got burned in the fire, pulling out the grandmother from the burning building? What happened to the girl is unknown. But it is not important. A woman's time is too valuable to mediocrely spend it looking for excuses for a failed macho. Finding excuses for male behavior is time wasted.

Therefore, if the boyfriend does not give news for some time, you need to forget him, first of all, stop thinking about this person. Waiting for male attention is a fairly common form of female self-torture.

It was written above that a common reason for the silence of the opposite sex is their unwillingness to communicate. But there are exceptions. In order to understand to determine why he stopped calling, you need to realize what kind of person he is. After all, every man has an individual set of traits, preferences, and he also evaluates the existence and role of Eve's daughters in him in his own way. It is even more difficult to figure out if the chosen one is a strong, self-sufficient and self-fulfilling person.

In addition to a set of characteristics, it is also necessary to analyze his behavior in interaction with a lady, the stage of development of relationships, the degree of manifestation of his interest to the “vow of silence”, the number of calls from him per day.

If a woman is faced with a strong personality, with a man going straight to the goal, then it is likely that the "silence of the gentleman" is a well-thought-out strategy, the final result of which should be the conquest of the female heart.

The reasons for "non-calls" may be different, but they lead to uncertainty, to the suspended state of the young lady. Women seem to go into a "waiting mode", in which they are no longer interested in what is happening. In this mode, it works violently, drawing all sorts of situations that justify the behavior of the chosen one. In addition, the more often the young lady thinks about the boyfriend, waits for him, the sharper her heart is pierced by Cupid's arrow. A woman falls in love, and her head is "lost". The consequence of this is dissolution in a man and falling into dependence. Where there is addiction, there is no place for love, and therefore healthy relationships are impossible.

In order to avoid such a sad fate, it is strictly forbidden to appear in the life of the chosen one. That is, you can not write SMS, call, "like" posts. A man needs space in order to realize whether he needs this particular young lady or not. If he decides, he will call or not call.

You need to realize that your own obsessive behavior can force a man to meet a couple of times, have sex, but in no way encourage him to create a strong connection. Demonstration of an overly emotional reaction to the disappearance of a man will only let the latter understand that the woman is conquered and subdued. Constant such reactions lead to predictability. The consequence of this will be the loss of male interest in this young lady. After all, she is manageable, simple, submissive, insipid. And the strong half is looking for mystery, rebelliousness, mystery in their chosen ones. They need barriers on the way to winning the girl's heart. Coldness will arouse more interest than willingness to do anything. However, showing external restraint and disinterest in a man, the main thing is not to overdo it. A rare representative of the sons of Adam will achieve a lady who does not reciprocate to the bitter end.

Men, of course, are hunters by nature, but today, due to the influence of feminism, their hunting has somewhat faded. Therefore, there is no need to flirt, playing an impregnable fortress. The strength of the beautiful half is in maintaining a balance between external detachment and passion, as well as in the timeliness of replacing coldness with ardor. At the same time, you should not reveal all your secrets. For the sons of Adam, the beautiful daughters of Eve must remain somewhat incomprehensible. Only by periodically challenging the strong half, women will be able to maintain the fire of love in men's hearts, and also remain weak creatures for partners in need of protection.

Every girl at least once in my life I thought about whether it is possible for the first guy or not. Every second person had such a situation when they seemed to want to dial a familiar number, and pricked. It is not clear how exactly to act under such life circumstances. On the one hand, the stereotypes that have stuck in my head say that it is not appropriate for a girl to take the first step. But a call is not always the first step. There are situations when it is not only possible, but even necessary, to call the guy first, so as not to destroy the relationship.

You can call first:
1) If you are already in a relationship for some time, and are designated for the surrounding people as a couple, then you can call first calmly. Since he is your boyfriend, and no one reaches anyone anymore, you are already together, he will not think that you are running after him. However, you should not constantly annoy him with calls, because he can get fed up with it. Give him the opportunity to take some initiative in the relationship. If only he constantly calls, it may seem to him that communication with him is not at all interesting and unnecessary.

2) If the guy ran after you for a long time, tried to reach you, but you all did not give in. And then one fine day they decided to give him a chance, apparently, having looked at him better and realizing that he was not so bad. And you might be able to do something. During this time, the guy could completely lose hope that he will ever get a chance to talk with you, so he will probably stop calling you. Therefore, you will have to call yourself and make it clear to the guy with some hints that you are also not indifferent to him.

3) If he doesn't have your number. For example, he begged for it from you for a long time, but you did not dictate the cherished figures to him. And you could easily get his number through his friends. If you want to continue acquaintance with him, you can safely call first, he will only be happy.

4) If he asked you to call. Guys often cheat by telling a girl, as if by chance, to call him when, for example, she wakes up, leaves work, etc. Thus, the guy teaches the girl to call first. Over time, she can get used to it and start calling without a reminder, not considering this act shameful. However, this is an erroneous opinion.

There are also situations, in which it is strictly forbidden to call the guy first. This will not only ruin your relationship, but also put you in a bad light.

1) If you just had your first date. You talked, got to know each other a little, but it is not clear what impression you made on him. Of course, female curiosity can eat you up, but try to pull yourself together. If you call him first now, I assure you, it will always be so later. And you won't get calls from him.

2) If you haven't started a relationship yet. You see each other almost every day, but are not yet a couple. Despite this fact, you already had, but still you are not close enough yet. This period can be called courtship. And men should take care of it. Therefore, do not take away this bread from him, let him feel like a conqueror, and at this time he will do everything first.

3) If you always called each other equally, and suddenly he abruptly stopped calling. Sometimes it happens. Maybe he has some urgent business or something serious happened. But also, he, perhaps, just got tired of your relationship with him and decided to take a short break. And if you start calling him now, he will be even more annoyed because of this.

4) If you had your first sex. After such a man, he is simply obliged to call first, and if you do this, you will forever lose respect in his eyes, as he will decide that you are an insecure girl who is afraid that she will be abandoned after spending the night with her.

5) If you had a big quarrel at stake, in which he is clearly to blame. Or you are both equally guilty, then you should not be the first to beg forgiveness from him, no matter how dear your couple is to you. Give him the opportunity to show his attitude towards you and show his interest in a truce.

Despite these adviсe, call the first guy or not, it's up to you. Perhaps your situation will be some kind of exception to the rule, and if you do not do what your heart tells you, everything will get worse.

Have you experienced this situation: a man asks you for a phone number You are waiting for him to ask you out, and then he doesn't call? You ask yourself, “What went wrong? Maybe I said something wrong? Maybe he needs someone better than me? ”We start to worry, but there is a reasonable explanation for everything.

Men are primarily focused on work. Even a date they perceive as a kind of interview with the employer. If you have ever gone through such a procedure, then you know that the biggest stupidity would be to call the human resources department the next day and ask if you will be hired. A smart person will wait for a call from an employee of the company, who will inform him of the decision.

A man unconsciously seeks to hide his feelings so that you do not notice how much he worries and how passionately he desires to receive something. It also seems to him that if he is too persistent a petitioner, then the woman will lose interest in him. As a result, he takes a wait-and-see attitude. Therefore, there is nothing wrong with calling a man herself. How to do it right so as not to harm your relationship?

• “I liked the movie that we watched with you so much! I remember how in one scene ... "
• “I really liked Chinese food. I'm so glad you invited me there. The whole evening I felt so wonderful ... "
• “Yesterday's concert was just amazing. I even bought a CD with a record. One song I liked the most…”
• “It's great that you decided to stop at that place and order dessert. It was wonderful…"
• "I enjoyed it so much last night..."

A direct path to a man's heart can be paved with the help of skillful compliments. relating to what he has done for you. When he is convinced that he has pleased you, then you become even more attractive in his eyes. You should not say to a man: "I liked talking to you so much." At the same time, a hint is caught that you want to meet with him more often and he may decide that he does not pay enough attention to you. Instead of enjoying success, he will think about what he did not live up to your expectations.

If you talk on neutral topics, discuss the film that you watched together, then he will calmly continue the conversation without fear that you will start reproaching him for giving you too little time. Thus, in men, the opposite effect is observed: the less he is forced to devote time to a woman, the more he will strive to do so.

At the first stage of rapprochement, you should show yourself only from the best side. If you are talking about a date on the phone, then only share pleasant memories and do not mention bad ones. Otherwise, he will think that you are too demanding a woman and it will be very difficult for him to satisfy you. An emotional connection with a woman begins to grow stronger in a man only if he is sure that he can make her happy.

As a reason to call, you can ask a man for help. Moreover, this request should be devoid of a touch of romance, for example.

You met a man who struck your imagination and charmed you. You were interested together, he kissed you goodbye, maybe you had "intimacy". When parting, you exchanged phone numbers and since then your whole life has turned into a continuous expectation. Yes, no matter what you do, in your thoughts you are waiting for a call and constantly thinking - should I call the man first? You bathe in the bath with your phone next to you, you check an infinite number of times whether your mobile is working, every half an hour you look to see if it is dead. You think about when he finally deigns to call first, whether to speak to him kindly or reprimand him for not calling right away. You think that the man who slept with you and who behaved like a real lover cannot break off relations so easily. But it turns out you don't know men well. There are, and not at all so rare, men who seek to get as much out of life as possible - and this is especially true of love relationships with women. And they consider the inability to get maximum pleasure from each adventure simply stupidity. In this case, the feelings of a woman are not taken into account.

Time goes by... You set "deadlines" for your waiting, and when they pass, you begin to painfully think about what you did wrong, said wrong, that he did not call. And you think maybe something happened to him? Maybe he lost your number, his phone was stolen from him, he was sent on a business trip to the wilderness, where there is no mobile connection, he had an accident or became seriously ill - there are many options, each is a good reason for not calling and each causes you excitement. And you are thinking feverishly: can you spit on everything first?

But, if you are honest with yourself, then, no matter how unpleasant it may be for you, you admit that if a man really liked you, then he will not make you suffer waiting, and the absence of a call means only that you did not enter within the scope of his interests. Don't get too upset. So this is . And the meeting with your beloved is still ahead, and he will definitely call you every day, and even more than once a day, to capture the slightest nuances of your mood, take care of you, carry you in his arms. With him, you don’t have to ask yourself: to call first or not to call, such a question with him, in principle, cannot arise.

If the man didn't call first, then don't call first...

But if you can't stand it, still dial the number, but at the same time remember: no complaints, reproaches, demands, no dull, unhappy and pleading voice! You can not seem intrusive. If he does not want to meet, in no case do not beg him, do not beg to change his mind, do not even show your grief. He should present you cheerful and joyful! Prepare some decent excuse for the conversation, but if you hear alienation, indifference, dryness in your voice, be ready to end the conversation with dignity, explaining that you are calling just like that, to find out how you are doing and what's new. This call is enough. If he is not followed by a return call with an invitation, delete this man from your life forever.

Of course, such a situation is also possible when, due to complexes that have arisen due to improper upbringing, a man is afraid to call first so that you do not consider him weak. In this case, your call will become a good deed, give him confidence and make your future relationship possible. But think about whether it will be hard for you in life with a weak and shy man with whom