How to get rid of an annoying boyfriend: stop blackmail and cheap flirting. How to Get Rid of an Annoying, Pushy Boyfriend

In the life of every woman there are situations when she is the subject of someone's sighing. It is hard to argue with the fact that it is pleasant and flattering to self-esteem - it really is. But after all, men are different, and some of them know no boundaries in achieving their goals. Such admirers can go to great lengths in order to achieve the desired lady.

Yes, maybe it's fine, but only if she is ready to respond to feelings. But what should the fair sex do in other situations in order to ward off an unwanted admirer?

Question of conduct

In order to answer the question of how to get rid of an annoying admirer, you should think about the reasons for its appearance. All the reasons for which a woman has a new admirer can be conditionally divided into accidental and deliberate.

The first relate to those situations when a woman did not at all try to please someone. This means that she did not have a specific goal to get the attention of any man. And this is a very important point, because having a desire, a girl can always charm anyone.

In cases where she purposefully seeks to capture the attention of a man, we can talk about deliberate reasons. And in such a situation, it will not be so easy to ward off a fan.

A woman uses a maximum of seduction techniques that work great on almost every member of the stronger sex. And the latter receives just a huge dose of various sexual signals from the seductress, which are almost impossible to ignore.

temperamental men

Chances are, every girl knows in a date. The issue is that it doesn't always work. Some men are particularly stubborn and importunate. This quality can push them even to aggressive ones, which they may later regret. In order to protect yourself from such a fan, you need to recognize him in time. It is very important to understand that it is better not to play cat and mouse with the described person.

Harmless male gender

You should also separately highlight the category of men who just love the game of unrequited love. They can love the same woman for years, be faithful to her and hope for reciprocity.

In their hearts, such men rarely strive for a reciprocal feeling. They like the role of an unfortunate wanderer who is crazy about the lady of his heart. This type of admirers is often classified as knightly, because knights choose an object of love and worship once and at the same time leave for the battlefield.

But there are still representatives of the stronger sex who can simply believe that you are interested in them. These are normal, typical, average men. To play with a person's feelings or not is a personal and deeply moral question.

Politeness is a good helper

To understand how to politely refuse a guy, you should think about what type of man he belongs to. If your fan is calm and balanced, then everything will work out quite easily.

But you can encounter self-confident and arrogant men, and even those who have certain mental disorders. Therefore, it is very important to understand that only a normal, adequate person will be able to politely refuse. Such a man will listen to you and understand that there are no prospects. Even if he already has feelings, he will fight them alone and will not disturb you anymore.

How to politely refuse?

In order to explain to a man that nothing will happen, it is necessary to be extremely sincere and delicate. It is very important to correctly combine these two qualities in yourself in order to give a concrete rebuff to a person, but, if possible, not to hurt his tender feelings.

Do not leave the conversation, it is better to call a spade a spade. Just explain to the young man that he is not your type. It is also very important to make it clear that nothing will work out even if he continues to woo and woo you. This is an important point, because some young people take rejection as a hint that courtship will become more frequent and pronounced.

In order to understand how to politely refuse a guy, you should put yourself in his place. This simple exercise will help you understand that it is better to say everything right away.

How to get rid of an annoying admirer?

In order to get rid of your admirer, you should know a few important rules. They should be guided relentlessly, otherwise the young man may misunderstand you and perceive the refusal as a kind of continuation of the love game:

1. So, for starters, you should forget about gentleness and pity. It is necessary to clearly and clearly tell the man that there will be no continuation. In no case can you explain the reasons or go into explanations. Observing such behavior, a man will quickly figure out what to do, and this will happen even unconsciously. As soon as a woman begins to make excuses, she forms a sense of guilt in herself. People are very good at playing this. Even if a man did not plan to manipulate, he will feel this weakness and will not fail to take advantage of it.
2. You should also pay attention to your own behavior. How to drive a guy away from you, if you accept everything in no way. This point is important because many women make the same mistake. You can not chat, flirt and flirt with a man if you want to get rid of him. Women often do not attach much importance to their behavior. Do not repeat this mistake - ignore the fan you do not need and do not communicate with him.

Should I accept gifts?

If you don't know how to say no to an annoying fan, think about how many gifts he gave you. Too many of his gifts in the house? Alas, this is a common mistake.

If a woman wants to finally get rid of her admirer, it is necessary not only to ignore communication with him, but also not to accept presents. Many girls say that they warned the man, and since he still gifts them, then why not? But, as experience shows, in this case, the man perceives the refusal as a hint that you need to give more, and only then will you make contact.

Simple, but iron. If a girl does not want to continue, why does she accept my gifts? Therefore, this point should be clarified from the very beginning, so that later you do not pay for rings and fur coats.

critical situations

How to get rid of an annoying admirer if no methods work? In this case, you should take care of your own safety. If, after a frank conversation, a man continues to pursue you, you should think about it. So, when a girl notices surveillance of herself or other secret interference in life, she needs to immediately resort to the help of the police.

The problem is that this is where many criminals start. At first they just watch their prey, and then they want more. And since the woman knows everything and does not react in any way, the man thinks that the path is open to him. That is, in this case, you can run into big trouble if you do not involve law enforcement agencies in time.

It is important to report being followed right away, as it is completely outside the scope of a romantic relationship. However, the process of detaining the pursuer may be delayed due to lack of evidence. So if you don't know how to get rid of a pesky suitor, ask a brother or friend to accompany you for a while.

Summing up, it should be said that a woman herself often provokes representatives of the opposite sex. This means that it is important to take care of yourself and not signal that you are ready for a relationship if you really do not want it. It should also be understood that an annoying admirer may turn out to be a criminal or a mentally ill person.

Many women dream of male attention, but in practice, its excess often turns into problems and troubles. Then the question arises: how to get rid of an annoying admirer, so as not to offend him, and save your nerves? If words do not help, use simple psychological tricks.

How to get rid of an annoying man

Many girls, in an attempt to get rid of an annoying man, begin to behave provocatively, aggressively, but do not get the expected result. It's all about male psychology: young people often perceive such behavior and rudeness as a challenge. The instinct of the hunter and the winner makes them even more actively show attention. To avoid getting into this situation, use small tricks.

1. Try in the process of communication to find out what annoys the annoying gentleman most of all, what flaws in the girl annoy, repel him. You need to find out everything unobtrusively so that the guy does not suspect something was wrong, then start behaving in a way that will be unpleasant for him. Soon the boyfriend will run away from you, complaining about his blindness and sudden insight.
2. Avoid any physical contact, portray complete independence. Don't accept a hand given when getting off a vehicle, don't let someone pay for you, etc. Show that you need his help. This will be unpleasant for any man, the ardor will moderate.
3. Pretend that you do not understand his hints. This will only provoke a mature adult man, but it will scare away a young man.

How to turn off an obsessive admirer

When psychological tricks and conversations do not help, you will have to take rudeness. To ward off an unwanted gentleman, there is no need to swear and mock him. You need to analyze your communication and gradually change it.

1. Tell us about your fiancé (even if he does not even exist), that you plan to tie the knot. Most men prefer not to encroach on women who a priori belong to others.
2. A good stop sign is a wedding ring: even if you have not visited the registry office yet, you can put any thin gold ring on the ring finger of your right hand. So it becomes clear to men that the lady is busy.
3. If the acquaintance happened on the Internet, you can simply stop responding to messages or blacklist the subscriber. There remains a risk that a strong interest in your person will not fade away and an unfamiliar boyfriend will try to write from another page. In this case, it will not be possible to quickly send off an obsessive fan.

How to drive away an annoying boyfriend

Modern men, especially married ones, try not to connect their lives with wasteful and capricious women. You will quickly be able to repel an annoying boyfriend by demonstrating obsession and exactingness. Ask to pay for you in a cafe, demand expensive gifts, annoy him with your bad habits. Does not help? Then start to get acquainted with him and flirt with other guys. Do whatever he doesn't like. If this method of how to get rid of an obsessive man did not help, think about it: maybe he really loves you, and is this fate?

How to get rid of an annoying boyfriend

Sometimes the need to get rid of an annoying boyfriend arises among non-free ladies. It can be a colleague at work, a casual acquaintance from social networks, or even a neighbor in the stairwell. The most effective method to put a gentleman in his place is to say that you are married. For most guys, this fact discourages the desire to appear in your field of vision, to spend energy on flirting. In some cases, it is worth asking your spouse/friend to meet you.

Video: how to get rid of an obsessive admirer

Serenades under the window "to the delight" of neighbors, endless calls with confessions, night shifts in the entrance ... The methods of some men to achieve your love at all costs can literally drive you crazy. How to recognize an obsessive fan and stop his courtship, AiF.ru told psychologist Elena Tsedova.

Sign No. 1. He goes ahead

When a man on the first or second date says nice words and compliments to you, this is normal. But, if he very actively begins to confess his feelings, build far-reaching plans - it's worth considering. Perhaps at first the phrases “I would really like our daughter to have the same eyes as yours” or “I'm crazy in love with you” will flatter you. But don't be tempted. Yes, it happens that a woman in a very short period of time can cause vivid feelings in a man. However, in most cases, the stronger sex is cautious, tries to hide their emotions, is afraid of unrequited love, and only people who are prone to obsessive communication immediately go ahead.

Sign number 2. He sought another for 5 years, but she rejected him

Learn to correctly hear the stories of your new man about the past, because you can project so many moments onto your future. It is common for the stronger sex to build relationships according to a long-familiar scenario, they are so comfortable. If a boyfriend shares with you a story about how he pursued a woman for five years, knocked on her doorsteps, fought with her brother in the name of his great love, in the end she moved to another city, but he found her there, be sure, with high chances are the same will happen to you. Gently ask why the ex-lover did not want this relationship. The answer “We had love, but for some reason she didn’t understand it” is a signal to forget the new boyfriend once and for all.

The problem is that for most women, obsessive men at first seem very romantic, subtle natures, able to care for and achieve their goal. But these stories have only one ending.

Sign #3: He constantly wants your attention.

An attack by calls, SMS, messages on social networks is another reason to think. But here it is important to make one correction, there is a “24 hours” rule, which says that if a man is really carried away by a woman, he will contact her within a day. If he didn't, he probably didn't like her that much. Of course, there are exceptions, but this is one percent out of a hundred. As a rule, a person who is interested in you begins to show himself by calls or SMS: “Good morning, how did you get home, how was your day,” etc. This is absolutely normal! It's not normal when 250 messages arrive in the first three hours of separation! If you find yourself in a similar situation, I advise you to tell your new friend that you are very busy right now and cannot keep up a correspondence. See how he reacts to this. If a man does not accept the fact that a woman can have some business of her own, wants her beloved to belong to him 24 hours a day, continues to call - this is not a good sign!

Sign number 4. He causes pity

“If you don’t come, I will be sad, drink, jump out of the window” - do not think that such behavior is typical only for teenagers. Grown men sometimes act in exactly the same way. Typical line: “I thought I met my destiny, and you can't even give me a little time. I don't know what to do now." Of course, at first such things sound like a joke, no one will seriously scare you by throwing themselves out the window because you did not show up for a date. Only from jokes can a person move on to action.

Another technique is to invent illnesses and difficult life circumstances. You can’t refuse a man who twisted his finger, got a sore throat, is experiencing depression, lost his job, survived the death of a hamster, etc. Such people build their relationship on the “mother-son” principle; if you feel that a new boyfriend is trying to impose himself on you as adult children, then all this will certainly end in persecution, because not a single child wants to lose his mother.

Sign #5: He is aggressive

In general, everything is fine with you, but, for example, a man reacts aggressively to a refusal to write SMS or being late: “Was it difficult for you to write? Why were you late, why didn't you answer who you were with? Such pressure will not lead to good.

How to “neutralize” an obsessive admirer

The only way to end such a relationship is to ignore it. There is no other way! It’s nice to explain to a man that he is wonderful, but you just don’t fit together is a waste of time. An obsessive person doesn’t care what you do: shout, threaten or talk sweetly - you pay attention to him, which means he has a chance. Don't ask your dad or sibling to talk to a fan because he'll think you're introducing him to your family. In addition, some boyfriends in a relationship do not need the woman herself, but need a struggle, overcoming, suffering. When your brother once again pushes him down the stairs, he will be very happy.

Such a man should be blacklisted on the phone. On social networks, do not even read his messages, just delete them or block them again. When he sees that his letters are not read, calls do not reach, it will be easier for him to choose a new victim than to continue communicating with you.

There are certain safety rules that are good to follow on first dates with any man. Don't immediately reveal where you live, work, park your car, spork, etc. Avoid exact addresses, because if you don't get along and the new suitor is persistent, he can turn your life into a real hell .

Well, what woman doesn't love attention? Even if there are, they are in the vast minority. - it's fun! Taking care of yourself makes you feel good. At the biological level, flirting is a way of choosing a partner, which is expressed in interest in persons of the opposite sex. But let's leave biology, flirting, it's just a harmless and non-committal game with an eye on the possible development of relationships in the future - that's all.

However, sometimes courtship may not be desirable. If a man who shows interest in you is unpleasant to you or you feel threatened by him, or maybe you just don’t see him as your possible partner, in this case, the attention shown on his part becomes painful. Therefore, I want to get rid of such a man as soon as possible.

In fairness, it is worth noting that not only women can become victims of intrusive courtship. There are many cases where men also act as victims. But today we will consider a situation in which unwanted attention is directed to a woman. Men can also read this article for the sake of "sporting" interest, but they should take into account that the mechanism of female courtship is different from the male, and the female reaction is just as different. Therefore, most of the recommendations below will not work for men.

In the mid-20s of the last century, in the United States, when the country was on the verge of the Great Depression, the issue of harassment became very acute. Many women have fallen victim to sex crimes. In this regard, in Washington (if my memory serves me) even a special women's group "Anti-Flirting" was organized, which taught its members the rules of "non-provocative behavior" in order to prevent unwanted harassment from men.

We, of course, are not going to organize such a group right now, but nevertheless, let's find out how a woman should behave in order, as they say, to stop unwanted courtship “in the bud”.

How to get rid of an annoying man

The main thing to remember is that two models of a woman’s behavior can be considered provocative and conducive to the continuation of “attacks” on the part of a man, let’s conditionally call these models “call” and “challenge”.

In the case of a "call" - everything is clear, this is the behavior of a woman, which a man interprets as a desire to continue acquaintance. And in the case of a "challenge" the opposite is true. Any active actions (and especially rudeness) that a woman resorts to in order to “send off a gentleman” are perceived as a “challenge” and provoke a man even more.

I will not argue that all men, without exception, are ready to perceive the active unwillingness of a woman to continue acquaintance as a “challenge”, but those who are capable of intrusive behavior do just that. Now let's get straight to the recommendations:

1Remain indifferent. Don't respond to flirting that is being forced on you if you don't like it. Avoid long eye-to-eye gazes as this shows you are interested. Your response with a laugh or even a polite smile does not bode well. No matter how confident and witty you think you are, resist the temptation to start a verbal showdown. By doing this, you will only give a "green light" for the continuation of courtship. Your indifferent behavior will give a very subtle, but very clear signal: you are not interested, and you do not want to continue the acquaintance. If you make the boyfriend's words hang in the air and remain unanswered, he will be in an awkward position and will rather stop his attempts than continue to try.

2Take care of your personal space. Do not let a man get close, giving him the opportunity to penetrate your personal space. Keep a distance of at least one step. Don't lean towards the man even if you can't hear what he is saying. Give unambiguous signals about the need for personal space, deviating from a man. For example, fold your arms across your chest to show disinterest or dislike. In general, constantly create a “buffer zone” between you and the man.

3Avoid physical contact. Never let a man hug you or even lightly touch you. If the touch cannot be avoided in any way, you should not show by gesture or movement that you are at least a little pleased with it. Even if the man touched you by accident, do not leave this fact unattended and disconnect the contact. However, you should not make sudden movements. A sharp jerk of the hand, a demonstrative shaking of the shoulders, combined with an indignant facial expression and the phrases: “What is it!?”, “What's the matter!?”, Etc., can only provoke a man. You need to demonstrate discomfort and negative reactions with your whole appearance, but do this not actively, but “lazily”, while maintaining indifference.

4You must not laugh. This is the most difficult thing, especially for a cheerful person. When people laugh, they appear more approachable and approachable. But, unfortunately, laughter is perceived as your interest and positive reaction to flirting. A man very often uses the power of laughter in order to win over a woman. Therefore, your laughter in response to his joke will definitely be regarded as an incentive signal to continue flirting.

5Don't sympathize. Sometimes a man pretends to be timid and indecisive in order to make his courtship more effective. But if you do not want to continue the acquaintance, be ruthless and stop all his attempts at the very beginning, demonstrating complete indifference, even though in doing so you may hurt his feelings.

6Prepare some sarcastic remarks. Criticism and negative words are a very effective way to end unwanted courtship. Instead of responding with playfulness and openness, enter the conversation with an obvious bad temper and a stern expression on your face. Negativity is usually unattractive.

• Sarcasm is a form of ridicule that may begin as a compliment or praise, but always generally contains a sharply negative assessment of a person, event or object, exposing their shortcomings.

7Behave inappropriately for the situation. React with bewilderment to every flirtatious signal from a man. Show that you absolutely do not understand what they want from you. For example, in response to flirting, act as if he is asking you about the internal combustion engine. In this case, the expression of your face should also be appropriate. You can generally try to "pretend" not quite normal. For example, introduce herself as an activist of the Jehovah's Witnesses religious sect and start actively campaigning to attend prayer services. Only in this case, the main thing is not to overplay.

8Avoid flattery. A man is very encouraged by compliments. Be careful. Even if your praise is with obvious irony, a purposeful man may not understand irony and take compliments at face value, and your ironic remark will turn into his imagination almost into an expression of complete admiration for his person. Flattery is one of the most powerful flirting techniques, and using it carelessly will only increase interest in you.

9Avoid any form of contact. Discourage a man's advances by avoiding any form of communication with him. Do not ask or offer to help him, do not accept invitations and do not ask for advice. Minimize the opportunity to spend time not only in his company, but also in contact with him in principle. All this will greatly reduce his motivation to look after you.

10Protect yourself with friends. Thank God, there are friends in the world! Including a third person or group of people in the conversation will help you get out of a situation of obsessive courtship from a man. It doesn’t matter if it’s a friend or girlfriend, but in the presence of a third person, the boyfriend will be much less comfortable, especially if your friend is active, starting a conversation on a obviously boring or obscure topic. Finally, your friend may come up with something to explain to the annoying man that you are not at all interested in dating.

In conclusion, of course, you may encounter a difficult case where none of the above tips will help. True, this will happen only if the man is mentally not quite normal. However, the main thing that you must remember is to always maintain a cold indifference and be just deadly polite. Your rudeness in this case will only work against you, as well as disposing behavior.

FROM THE AUTHOR: My responses in the comments are the opinion of a private individual, and not the recommendation of a specialist. I try to answer everyone without exception, but unfortunately I don’t physically have time to study long stories, analyze them, ask questions about them and then answer in detail, and I also don’t have the opportunity to accompany your situations, because this requires a huge amount of free time, and I have very little of it.

In this regard, I kindly ask you to ask specific questions on the topic of the article, do not try to use the comments for correspondence or chat, and do not expect me to advise in the comments.

Of course, you can ignore my request (which many do), but then be prepared for the fact that I will ignore yours. This is not a matter of principle, but exclusively of time and my physical capabilities. Don't be offended.

If you want to receive qualified assistance, please contact me for advice, and I will devote my time and knowledge to you with full dedication.

With respect and hope for understanding, Frederica