How to teach children to be independent? Simple examples and tips. How to teach a child to eat himself: specific techniques for parents

The child speaks fluently in sentences and understands the meaning of what is said.
The child distinguishes sounds (what speech therapists call developed phonemic hearing). Simply put, the baby will easily understand by ear where house And onion, And where - volume And Luke.
Your child pronounces all the sounds and has no speech problems.
The child understands directions: left-right, top-bottom. Let's omit the point that adults often confuse right and left. For learning to read, it is important that the baby can follow the text from left to right and from top to bottom.

8 tips to help your child learn to read

Set an example

In a family where there is a culture and tradition of reading, children themselves will be drawn to books. Read not because it is necessary and useful, but because it is a pleasure for you.

Read together and discuss

You read aloud, and then look at the picture together, encouraging the child to interact with the book: “Who is this drawn? Can you show me the cat's ears? And who is this standing next to her? Older children can be asked more difficult questions: “Why did he do this? What do you think will happen next?"

Go from simple to complex

Start with sounds, then move on to syllables. Let the words consisting of repeated syllables be the first: ma-ma, pa-pa, da-da, nya-nya. After them, move on to more complex combinations: ko-t, zhu-k, do-m.

Show that letters are everywhere

Play a game. Let the child find the letters that surround him on the street and at home. These are the names of stores, and memos on information stands, and even traffic light messages: it happens that the inscription “Go” lights up on green, and “Wait so many seconds” on red.

play

And play again. Stack blocks with letters and syllables, make up words, ask your child to read you some kind of sign or inscription on the packaging in the store.

Take every opportunity to exercise

Whether you are sitting in line at the clinic or driving somewhere, get a book with pictures and short stories to them and invite your child to read together.

Build Success

Repeat familiar texts, look for already known heroes in new stories. The runaway bunny is found in both "Teremka" and "Kolobok".

Don't force

This is perhaps the most important. Don't take away a child's childhood. Learning should not go through tears.

6 time-tested techniques

ABCs and primers

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Traditional, but the longest way. The difference between these books is that the alphabet fixes each letter with a mnemonic picture: on a page with B a drum will be drawn, and next to YU- Yula. The alphabet helps to remember letters and - often - interesting rhymes, but will not teach you how to read.

The primer consistently teaches the child to combine sounds into syllables, and syllables into words. This process is not easy and requires perseverance.

Parents agree that one of the most understandable methods for teaching preschoolers is Nadezhda Zhukova's primer. The author simply explains the most difficult thing for a child: how to turn letters into syllables, how to read Mother rather than start naming individual letters me-a-me-a.

toyskinadom.com

If, when learning from an ABC book, a child consistently masters letters and syllables, then in 52 Zaitsev cubes he is given access to everything at once: a single letter or combinations of a consonant and a vowel, a consonant and a hard or soft sign.

The child effortlessly learns the differences between voiceless and voiced sounds, because the cubes with voiceless consonants are filled with wood, and the cubes with voiced ones are filled with metal.

The cubes also differ in size. The large ones depict hard warehouses, the small ones - soft ones. The author of the technique explains this by the fact that when we pronounce on(hard warehouse), mouth opens wide, neither(soft warehouse) - lips in a half smile.

The set includes tables with warehouses that the parent sings (yes, he doesn’t speak, but sings) to his child.

The child quickly masters warehouse reading with the help of cubes, but may begin to swallow the endings and will face difficulties already at school when parsing a word by composition.

Folders and Towers by Vyacheslav Voskobovich

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In Skladushki, Vyacheslav Voskobovich reworked Zaitsev's idea: 21 cards show all the warehouses of the Russian language with nice thematic pictures. Included is a CD with songs, the texts of which go under each picture.

Folders are good for kids who love looking at pictures. Each of them is an occasion to discuss with the child where the kitten is, what the puppy is doing, where the beetle flew.

You can teach your child using these cards from the age of three. At the same time, it should be noted that the author of the methodology himself does not consider it necessary Vyacheslav Voskobovich: “How to keep a child in yourself? Play!" boost early development.

toyskinadom.com

"Teremki" by Voskobovich consist of 12 wooden cubes with consonants and 12 cardboard cubes with vowels. First, the child gets acquainted with the alphabet and tries with the help of parents to come up with words that begin with each of the letters.

Then it's time to learn the syllables. In a teremok with a letter M invested A- and the first syllable is obtained ma. From several towers you can lay out words. Learning is based on play. So, when replacing a vowel house will turn into smoke.

You can start playing towers from the age of two. At the same time, parents will not be left alone with the cubes: the kit includes a manual with a detailed description of the methodology and game options.

umnitsa.ru

Evgeny Chaplygin's manual includes 10 cubes and 10 moving blocks. Each dynamic block consists of a pair - a consonant and a vowel. The task of the child is to twist the cubes and find a pair.

At the initial stage, as with any other method of learning to read in warehouses, the child makes the simplest words from repeating syllables: ma-ma, pa-pa, ba-ba. The involved motor skills help to quickly remember the shape of the letters, and the search for already familiar syllables turns into an exciting game. The cubes are accompanied by a manual describing the methodology and words that can be composed.

The optimal age for classes is 4-5 years. You can start earlier, but only in the game format.

steshka.ru

American doctor Glenn Doman suggests teaching children not individual letters or even syllables, but whole words. Parents call and show the child the words on the cards for 1-2 seconds. In this case, the baby is not required to repeat what he heard.

Classes start with 15 cards with the simplest concepts like mothers And dads. Gradually, the number of words increases, those already learned leave the set, and the child begins to study phrases: for example, color + object, size + object.

How to understand that the child understood and remembered the visual image of the word, if the author of the methodology recommends starting classes from birth? It is worth paying attention to an important detail that parents miss in an attempt to make their child the smartest, most developed, the best.

Glenn Doman in "The Harmonious Development of the Child" strongly emphasizes that it is not necessary to arrange tests and checks for the child: kids do not like this and lose interest in classes.

Better to remember 50 cards out of 100 than 10 out of 10.
Glenn Doman

But considering that parents will not be able not to check, he advises, if the child is willing and willing, to play the game. For example, you can put a few cards and ask to bring one or point to it.

Today psychologists, neurophysiologists Steven Novella, MD, "Psychomotor Patterning" and pediatricians American Academy of Pediatrics "The Doman-Delacato Treatment of Neurologically Handicapped Children" agree that the Doman method is not aimed at teaching reading, but at mechanical memorization of visual images of words. The child turns out to be an object of learning and is almost deprived of the opportunity to learn something on his own.

It is also worth adding: in order to proceed to the Doman reading stage, parents need to prepare cards with all (!) Words that are found in a particular book.

howwemontessori.com

Montessori reading comes from the opposite: first we write and only then we read. Letters are the same pictures, so you first need to learn how to draw them and only then engage in pronunciation and reading. Children begin by tracing and shading the letters, and through this, they memorize their outline. When several vowels and consonants have been studied, they move on to the first simple words.

Much attention is paid to the tactile component, so children can literally touch the alphabet, cut out of rough or velvety paper.

The value of the technique lies in learning through play. So, you can put a rough letter and a plate of semolina in front of the child and offer to first circle the sign with your finger, and then repeat this on the semolina.

The difficulty for parents is the purchase or preparation of a significant amount of handouts.

conclusions

On the Internet and on posters advertising "developers", you will be offered cutting-edge methods for teaching a child to read at three, two years old, or even from birth. But let's be realistic: a happy mother is needed a year, not developmental classes.

The myth that it’s too late after three is firmly planted in the minds and hearts of tired parents and is actively fueled by marketers.

The authors of the methods all insist that the most natural process of learning for a child is through play, and not through classes in which the parent plays the role of a strict controller. Your main assistant in learning is the curiosity of the child himself.

Some children will study for six months and start reading at three, others have to wait a couple of years to learn in just a month. Focus on the interests of the child. If he likes books and pictures, then primers and Folders will come to the rescue. If he is a fidget, then cubes and the Montessori system will help.

In learning to read, everything is simple and difficult at the same time. If your child often sees you with a book, you have a tradition of reading before bed, your chances will increase significantly.

Your child is growing by leaps and bounds. And from time to time the thought creeps into moms and dads: “Well, you’ll grow up a little more and you can play by yourself, and I will have a couple of hours for myself.” However, this is not entirely true: in order for the baby to be able to occupy himself for 40-50 minutes on his own, parents should make a lot of efforts. We will tell you how to teach and captivate your baby to play alone.

Benefits of solo play

By playing alone, the child learns to find solutions

V. A. Sukhomlinsky: “A game is a huge bright window through which a life-giving stream of ideas and concepts about the world around flows into the spiritual world of a child. The game is a spark that ignites the flame of inquisitiveness and curiosity.

Teaching your baby how to play independently is not important to take up his time and allow himself to relax. Independent play is an important indicator of the correct development of the child. At the same time, the ability to find an occupation for oneself significantly affects the personal growth and character of the baby. In particular, playing with oneself develops:

initiative (after all, solving specific game problems requires the kid to make quick decisions - a pyramid that suddenly appears on the way of the machine can either be moved or knocked down - the choice must be made instantly);
the ability to overcome obstacles (this or that game activity has a certain plot, the development of which requires the child to find a way out of the circumstances - if the baby doll soaked his pants, then he needs to change clothes);
perseverance (to get the desired result of the game, the kid must go through certain stages, for example, to assemble a beautiful puzzle boat, you should correctly select all the elements, trying to combine them);
the ability to navigate according to circumstances (in order to dress a doll for going to kindergarten, you need to choose appropriate clothes for her, put on all the details of the toilet in order);
patience (to solve puzzles, the kid has to look at the task several times, select answers).

Why doesn't he play by himself or can't keep himself occupied with toys

Reluctance to play on your own may be due to feelings of loneliness

A fairly common problem when the baby does not want to play on his own. This worries parents, but meanwhile, the reasons for this behavior of the baby lie precisely in adults. The fact is that at 2-4 years old, children develop the skill of role-playing, that is, at this age dolls-cars-animals are very interesting. Caring relatives understand this, and this is where the immeasurable supply of toys begins. Remember your childhood: one or two dolls, a couple of cars and a wooden pyramid. But we could play with them for hours, coming up with names for them, playing entire performances with such a simple set. No, don't throw away the awesome math bears or the race car parking area, just limit the number of them. Why? The child does not have time to become attached to the toy, feel it and unleash his imagination. In addition, children need an example. That is, if you don’t show them how to play with a typewriter, then the baby will not only not have an idea about the toy itself, but there will also be no impetus for further inventing a game plot.

As for older children, 5-7 years old, the refusal to play independently at this age may indicate that the baby is suffering from loneliness. If a child lacks communication with parents, then it is absolutely logical that he will not want to retire even with the most fun toys. It is important to let the child understand that this is your common game with him, just sometimes he can do it himself. Also at this age, children are very sensitive to failure. Therefore, if a child fails to complete the puzzle, he will not pore over it alone. Come and direct the thought of the little one - this will give the necessary impetus to renew interest.

The kid must have at least a small, but his own play area

The method of accustoming a child to independent games is an inexhaustible topic of discussion for teachers and psychologists. All these researches can be combined into several effective tips for adults, then it will be easier to teach the baby.

The ability to play independently is an indicator of your baby's maturation. However, do not sound the alarm if he is not too eager to play alone. Patiently show your child how interesting it is to beat this or that toy so that he has an interest in finding new ways of entertainment. And be sure to participate in the gaming activities of your child, praise him - then he will grow up not only as an independent person, but also become a self-confident person.

Growing up, the baby goes through important stages of development. At first, he holds the bottle with his own hands, but soon it is time to teach the little one to eat on his own without the help of adults. For a mother, this is a difficult and responsible process, so she will need useful tips and lessons on eating on her own.

How to understand that the child is ready to eat on his own?

It is impossible to unequivocally answer the question of at what age it is time for a baby to give a spoon. It depends on the level of development and on the curiosity of the child himself. Some children grab a spoon already at the age of six months, although they still can’t really hold it, others refuse cutlery until they are 2 years old. There are also babies who begin to eat on their own only at 3-4 years old.

However, there is no need to delay learning. The sooner the child begins to eat without the help of adults, the easier it will be for the mother. Besides, these .

Experts advise teaching a child to hold a spoon from the age of 9-10 months. In this case, by the age of 1.5, he will be able to confidently wield cutlery.

Watch the baby, make sure the baby is "ripe" for a spoon and a cup. Only if he is ready, you can start training. If he is already interested in food, takes pieces of food and pulls them into his mouth, tries to grab a spoon from his mother's hands - he is ripe to eat on his own. Of course, mom will feed faster, and at first the baby will scatter food all over the kitchen. However, all parents will still have to go through this stage. Therefore, it is better not to miss the moment.

Instructions for parents who want to teach a child to eat with a spoon

When the baby begins to reach for the spoon, he is ready to try to eat on his own. If you do everything right, in a few months the child will learn how to use cutlery. No matter how precious your time is to you, no matter how much you want to keep the kitchen clean - do not miss the moment! If the baby requires a spoon - give him a spoon. And then - follow the instructions.

Stock up on patience. The hands of a one-year-old baby have not yet grown strong. At first, it will be very difficult for him to hold the spoon, and he will miss her mouth. The training will take from 1 to 6 months;
Train in different places. A great way to teach a child something is to turn the process into an educational game. Invite your little one to feed the plastic bunnies with sand with a spatula when he plays in the playground. So he will improve coordination of movements, which will come in handy later in a real kitchen;
Don't leave your baby alone with a full plate- He may choke or become naughty due to the fact that he is unable to eat. In addition, at first, the child will still be able to bring no more than 3-4 spoons to his mouth. Then he will get tired, and you will have to help him;
Choose the right food. The consistency of food should be such that the child can scoop it up with a spoon and bring it to his mouth. The baby will spill the soup, and take the pieces of food with his hands. Therefore, opt for thick porridge, mashed potatoes or cottage cheese. Do not immediately put a full plate in front of the child, but rather put food in it a little bit;
Don't forget the fork. Alternate cutlery so that the baby develops fine motor skills faster. At breakfast, did the child try to pick up porridge with a spoon? For lunch, invite him to eat fish meatballs with a safety fork;
Include all household members in learning. If you teach the little one to use cutlery, and the grandmother continues to feed him with a spoon, the process will be delayed. The baby will not understand why he should try to do something himself if there are adults for this. Explain your teaching principles to all family members and ask them to follow them as well;
Follow the schedule. Feed your baby exactly at the same time every day, constantly reinforcing the acquired skills. So you can develop a habit in your baby. In addition, eating on a schedule improves digestion;
Avoid coercion. In the process of learning, the child will sometimes be capricious and refuse to eat on his own. If this happens, feed him yourself, and postpone training until the next meal. When a child is not in a good mood, it will still not work to teach him something;
Dine with the whole family. It will be easier for the kid to master the spoon if he sees how other people are using it. He involuntarily begins to imitate them. For the same reason, in kindergartens, kids quickly learn to eat on their own and go to the potty;
Make up games to stir up the interest of the little one in learning. You can buy him a plate with a funny picture on the bottom and offer to eat porridge to see the surprise;
Start training with your child's favorite food and only on an empty stomach. The kid will not want to make an effort to eat something tasteless, especially in the absence of appetite;
Praise the child even for small gains. To please his mother again, he will try his best;
Keep the kitchen cozy. Buy a colored one, lay a beautiful tablecloth on the table, decorate the dish. Little things like that boost your mood and improve your appetite.

Action algorithm

To make it easier for parents to teach their child to self-feed, experts have developed detailed instructions:

Lay an oilcloth on the table, and put on a bib for the child.
Scoop a spoonful of porridge from a child's plate and eat, smacking your lips with pleasure and pretending to be delighted.
Give the spoon to the little one. Until he can hold it, hold his hand with your hand, help scoop up food and bring it to your mouth. Help until the child can hold the appliance on their own.
When the baby's arms get stronger, teach him how to hold the spoon correctly - not in a fist, but with your fingers.
When giving a child a spoon, take another one yourself. While the child is learning to eat on his own, help him with another spoon. That is, one spoon - to him, one - to you.

At first, the baby will simply play with a spoon - stir the porridge in a bowl, smear it over the face and table. Give him time to get used to the cutlery. If you are tired of the fact that the child constantly turns over the dishes, put a plate with a suction cup on the table.

In the same way, you can teach the little one to use a fork and a non-spill cup (). Start with small portions, making sure the child is interested, and never show your indignation at soiled clothes and furniture.

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Cutlery to help the baby

For a child, you need to pick up special dishes and cutlery. The main requirements are safety and a bright design that will stimulate the toddler's interest in learning. To set the table, parents will need:

Plate made of food-grade heat-resistant plastic. It should be bright, preferably with the image of the characters of your child's favorite cartoons. To see them, the little one will quickly eat all the porridge. It’s good if the plate has a suction cup for attaching to the countertop and an inclined bottom - it’s convenient to scoop up food from it;
Spill-proof cup made of non-toxic materials. It is recommended to choose a model with two handles - it is more convenient to hold such a little one. Make sure that the cup has a silicone or soft plastic spout without burrs, otherwise the baby risks scratching the gums. An additional advantage is the presence of a rubber stand, which gives the dishes stability;
Anatomically shaped spoon made of safe plastic. So that it does not fall out of the child's palm, it should have a rounded non-slip handle;
Curved fork made of non-toxic plastic. Choose a product with rounded teeth so that the child does not get hurt;
Comfortable baby chair. The one that comes with the table will not fit. The child should sit at the same table with adults to watch how they eat and imitate them;
Waterproof bib. Many children resist feeding and tear off their bibs. Therefore, it is better to choose a colored bib with cartoon characters. It is good if it is made of soft and flexible plastic, and the bottom edge of the product is slightly bent up - so all the food will remain in the bib and will not stain clothes.

What should I do if my child refuses to eat on his own?

Children are different. Many reach for the spoon, perceiving it as another toy. There are those who flatly refuse to pick up cutlery. In any case, you can not force the baby to eat himself. Parental pressure will lead to the fact that the baby will form a negative attitude towards food intake.

If the child is already a year old, and he still refuses to take a spoon, try to go for a trick:

Feed the baby yourself, let the baby relax, and try again after a couple of days.
Ask the baby's brothers or sisters to show him how they skillfully wield spoons.
Organize a children's party - in the company of friends, the child will be able to work out skills.

Although coercion is unacceptable, it is also not worth putting off learning to feed yourself for a long time. This skill is important for the overall development of the child and for his social adaptation.

Rules for neatness and safety at the table

A small child will not be able to behave at the table like an aristocrat. However, parents can teach him to eat carefully and follow the rules of hygiene. Just follow the following conditions:

Teach your child by example how to hold a spoon and fork as it is, drink from a cup, wipe yourself with a napkin;
Wash your hands before eating- for yourself and your baby. This should become his habit;
Follow the diet. Eat only in the kitchen and at certain times. This is important for the appetite and strong nervous system of the child;
Eat in a relaxed environment. Do not let your baby watch cartoons, indulge and be distracted at lunch;
Repeat rituals: mother washes the child's hands, puts him on a chair, ties a bib, puts a plate of food on the table. It is important to explain all actions so that the baby understands their meaning ();
Decorate the table and dishes- it stimulates the appetite. Lay a fresh tablecloth on the table, put a napkin holder, beautifully lay out dishes on plates;
Gather at the same table with the whole family. Make lunches and dinners with loved ones your family tradition. Sit down at the table in a good mood, do not rush while eating and chew all the pieces thoroughly. So you can enjoy the taste of dishes and help your digestion;
Do not pick up food that has fallen on the floor. Teach your child not to pick up food from the floor. What has fallen may go into a dog's or cat's bowl, but not into a man's plate;
Gradually give your child new cutlery and utensils. When the baby is only 1 year old, plates and non-spill cups are enough for him. However, by the age of 2, he already needs his own fork, a teaspoon and a tablespoon, a mug, like in adults;
Follow the rules and rules of etiquette. Teach your baby to be neat at the table, to wipe himself with napkins when he gets dirty. Reprimand your child if he rocks in his chair, plays with his food, rests his elbows on the table, or takes something from someone else's plate. Let the whole family follow the rules of good manners - and for your son or daughter they will become natural.

Mistakes of parents, or how not to teach a child to eat with a spoon

Teaching a baby to eat on his own is difficult, and at first many parents make mistakes. Use the experience of other moms and dads - and you will significantly speed up and facilitate the educational process.

Do not rush the child when he eats. Phrases like "chew fast, I have to do the dishes" should be out of your vocabulary. It is important to chew food thoroughly so that it is well digested, and this takes time. In addition, the meal itself is a great opportunity for mom to communicate with the baby, to give him her care.
Don't stop learning. If you have begun to teach your child to use a spoon, continue to bend your line. Do not give in to laziness, do not look for excuses. Explain to all family members that from now on the baby will eat without their help.
Do not force the child to take a spoon. If he is full, sick or just naughty, leave the baby alone. You can always reschedule a lesson on independence.
Do not scold the baby for getting dirty with food, even if he indulged. These are temporary difficulties, because soon the baby will learn to eat like adults. Your aggression will frighten the child, and he will lose all motivation for learning.
Don't let the TV turn on while eating. Cartoons and any programs distract the baby, but he needs concentration to learn how to use a spoon.
Do not put a huge portion on a plate. It is better to give the child less porridge, and then put the supplement if he asks.
Do not fall for childish blackmail. Toddlers try to control their parents with whims. So, a child who is already perfectly wielding a spoon and fork may declare that he will only eat a cutlet himself, but not soup. This means that the baby is not hungry, so feel free to remove the plate.
Do not force your child to eat the entire portion. He eats as much as his body needs to function normally. If your baby pushed the plate away, it means that he is full, even if a third of the serving remains there.
Don't use double standards. If on a trip you allow your child sweets for lunch instead of soup, then at home it should be exactly the same. If in your kitchen you turn a blind eye to the fact that the baby wipes his soiled face on the tablecloth, do not reprimand him at a party.

The main advice for parents whose children have begun to master the spoon is not to panic if the training is delayed. Over time, the baby will definitely learn to eat on his own.

Remember, skill comes with experience. It is best to choose the types of food that stick better to the spoon. Remember: it's okay to start learning to eat with a fork and spoon and make everything dirty!

Video: how to teach a child to eat himself

I STAGE. From 6 months you should always give your child a spoon. The child must be sure to touch the food with his hand, do not forbid him to do so.
II stage. From 7-8 months, the child will try to lower the spoon into the plate and pull it into his mouth. Dip the spoon in the food and, at first, help him try to bring the spoon into his mouth with his hand.
III stage. Start eating in front of the child so that he copies your behavior. Let the baby watch you, watch you chew and put the spoon in your mouth. Show your empty plate, and then start feeding the baby. Very quickly, the child begins by watching his mother eat himself.

School is a new, important and responsible stage in a child's life. At the lessons, he not only gains knowledge, but also learns to work. Classes in classes with other children bring up diligence in children and the ability to systematize the information received.

The ability to study independently and do homework is very important for a student. Parents need to guide their children in the right direction and teach them responsibility.

Homework plays an important role in this learning process. However, the home atmosphere is very different from that which is present at school. Firstly, at home, the baby can be distracted from lessons for other classes, and secondly, there is no such control factor as grades, because parents will not put a deuce. Plus, the textbook is always at hand and you can peek into it without fear of punishment. Such a free environment has two sides of the coin. It contributes to the inculcation of interest in learning and knowledge, but at the same time it is dangerous because it can lead to irresponsibility.

Activities with a child at home

First of all, it should be understood that the modern school is very different from those schools in which the older generation studied. Currently, the school learning process is structured in such a way that parents need to devote some time to helping their child complete tasks. There are 3 main areas where additional intervention is required from moms and dads:

Explanation of the material. The child does not always immediately understand everything in class, and sometimes does not listen to everything. The first step is to explain the missing and misunderstood points in the topic under study.
Doing homework. Here, control is needed so that the student is engaged in lessons, and not just bored with a notebook.
Checking lessons. You should always review how your child has done their homework.

When the baby begins to attend school, many parents rely on the fact that in it the teachers themselves will convey everything to the students and educate them. However, there are usually about thirty people in the class, and it is simply impossible to control whether everyone has mastered everything. As a result, either the parents themselves or the tutor can explain to him what he could not understand in the lesson. In one way or another, the responsibility for this falls on the shoulders of the parents.

A modern school heavily loads children with homework, so it’s worth supporting the child, especially in the first two years of study, but it’s absolutely impossible to do homework for him

When studying with a child at home, it is important not to be angry that you have to waste your time, and not scold him for not understanding something. It should be borne in mind that it is rather difficult to learn everything in a lesson, because there are many children in the classes at once, and each of them has an individual pace and ability to perceive material. In addition, there is noise and many other distractions. So do not prematurely write off misunderstanding for stupidity or laziness. Most likely, the reason is related to the concentration of attention or the organization of the educational process itself.

Monitoring the implementation of lessons

Control over the student during homework comes down to sitting next to him or periodically coming and checking what he is doing and how things are going. Otherwise, he can quickly switch his attention to an extraneous activity, and then the process can drag on for a long time.

However, according to the experience of many mothers, such constant presence and supervision of the baby is required up to the third grade, after which there is no need for this. This phenomenon is easily explained. The fact is that all children of primary school age have a deficit of voluntary attention. This is not a disease, it's just the way a child's brain works. Over time, the child outgrows it. With age, he will become more assiduous, more attentive and more focused.

As for the popular diagnosis of “ADHD (H)”, which sounds like attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, it can be attributed to at least half of the children in the first and third grades. Treatment in this case is not required, but it is necessary to organize optimal conditions for doing homework. In the future, this will help to avoid scandals throughout the entire time of study within the walls of the school.

The degree of control over how the baby does homework depends on his age. It is very important to establish a clear regime and procedure for first-graders and second-graders after returning home from school. First, a short rest for an hour or an hour and a half. During this time, the child will already have enough rest from class activities, but will not yet have time to get tired or get very excited, playing and having fun. Children should get used to the fact that they need to do their homework every day.

If the child attends other extra-curricular activities, for example, if he plays sports, dances or drawing, you can postpone the lessons to a later time. However, do not leave them for the evening. For students on the second shift, the ideal time to do their homework is in the morning.

The process of adaptation to school can last up to six months. At this stage, parents should help the crumbs so that he adheres to the new routine. Some helpful tips to make your homework more effective:

A certain rhythm of work. For example, take a 5-10 minute break every 25 minutes.
By the second year of study, it is necessary to teach the child to independently distribute his time. From now on, the parent only joins if the child asks for help. Otherwise, you can make the baby think that mom or dad will do everything instead of him.
The priority of education. When a child sits down to do homework, nothing should distract him from this, neither a request to take out the trash, nor cleaning his room. All this can be postponed until later.

In the lower grades, the child has not yet adapted, is not used to doing homework. He needs to take breaks from work

middle and high school

As children get older, they tend to manage their own time. To do this, they already remember well what, to what extent and when it was given. However, for some reason, not all students cope with homework. There are a number of reasons and explanations for this:

Too much load that the baby can not cope with. In modern school institutions, a fairly large volume is assigned to the home, as a result of which additional extracurricular activities lead to overload. Of course, extra-curricular activities, like drawing lessons or foreign language courses, are necessary for a more complete development of the baby, but it is very important that they are not under duress and are not in the nature of a duty. The child should enjoy classes and relax on them from the school load. In addition, it is desirable not to set time limits for the implementation of lessons. You should simply teach your child to set realistic goals that he can achieve.
To attract attention. Constant reproaches, quarrels and scandals will only encourage bad behavior. This is especially true in cases where the baby gets attention only as a result of disobedience or fault. Praise is the first step to ensure that the child can learn to do everything on his own.
Knowing what lessons will do for him. Often the child is simply in no hurry to do the homework himself, as he understands that one of the parents, in the end, will sit next to him and help. On the part of the parents, help should be to direct the train of thought of the crumbs in the right direction and simply explain the task, and not solve it.

Quick and sloppy homework

It is quite common that a student wants to do homework faster in order to free up time for games and walks. The task of parents for some period is to regularly check the quality of the work performed. Do not resort to punishment for poorly done lessons. It is better to find out from the child the reason why this happened. It is necessary to make it clear that only after completing homework, he will be able to do things to his liking.

If a child is accustomed to the correct daily routine from the very beginning of the learning process, then doing homework will not become an insurmountable task.

It is also important not to tie the baby to grades, but to instill a love for knowledge, since they should be his priority. From the words and actions of the parents, the child must conclude that regardless of his grades and the opinions of the teachers, he will always be loved. The realization of this is a good reason for diligence and diligence in studies.

Basic principles for doing homework

After the parents managed to teach the child to do homework on their own, without tantrums and orders, they should learn the simple rules of working at home. They will help to avoid the return of problems with the implementation of lessons. These principles are:

Mode and rest. After class, the student should have time to rest, at least an hour, so that he can eat and relax without haste. Ideally, if the baby will always do homework at the same time. Plus, 10 minute breaks are needed in the process so that the child does not overwork.
Do the hard work first. In addition, it is better to teach the student to first write everything in a draft. Only after the adult checks the task, he will be able to rewrite the task in a notebook. Also, trust the baby more and do not control the whole process. The child will definitely appreciate it.
If errors are found during verification, it is important to first praise the baby for his work, and then delicately point out them. Thus, the child is calmly perceived by his mistakes and encouraged in him the desire to correct them on his own.
During classes, you should never raise your voice to a child, criticize or call him names. This will lead to a loss of respect and trust in parents.
Due to the complexity of the material given in the modern school, it is better for mothers and fathers to study in advance the topic in which they are unsure in order to explain it to the child in a quality manner, if necessary.
Do not do homework for the baby. It is worth helping only in difficult situations, and he must decide, write and draw himself. The main thing is that he acquires knowledge, and a good grade is a secondary matter.

It is important not to refuse to help the child, even with other plans. Parents are responsible for children, and it is they who need to organize the daily routine and motivate him to study.

Punishing for inattention is wrong, as this is an age-related property that the student still does not know how to control. Forcing them to do homework is also not the best approach. It is better to explain the significance of the knowledge gained in an accessible way.

Clinical and perinatal psychologist, graduated from the Moscow Institute of Perinatal and Reproductive Psychology and Volgograd State Medical University with a degree in Clinical Psychology

It is no secret that for many parents, the question of how to get a child to do homework is especially relevant. And this is not an idle question. After all, often preparing homework becomes a big test for the whole family.

Remember how many tears, experiences it took to learn what century Yuri Dolgoruky was born in or how to calculate the integral equation! How many children remember with hatred their school years, the teachers who tortured them with exorbitant household chores, the parents who forced them to do these jobs under duress! Let's not repeat these mistakes. But how do you teach your children to learn? Let's try with the help of psychologists to give some answers to these difficult questions.

Why does the child refuse to work?

The first question that parents must answer for themselves is why the child does not want to study at home? There are a lot of answers to it.

A child may simply be afraid of making a mistake when doing homework, he may simply be lazy, afraid of the parents themselves, he may simply lack motivation for homework. Also, a child may simply be tired of the fact that he has a lot of study load, because, in addition to a regular school, he attends a musical institution, an art circle and a chess section. It's like A. Barto, "Drama circle, photo circle ...". At this point, it’s true, there are too many things for a child to do, so he has to unconsciously refuse something. So he refuses to do homework.

However, schoolchildren have plenty of other motives for refusing to complete lessons. But parents must go through all the options in their minds and find the only correct answer that fits the character of their child. Moreover, it should be remembered that homework in a modern school is a very difficult task, often, in order to complete it, the efforts of literally all family members are needed. After all, programs are becoming more and more complicated, even in the first grade today a child should already read about 60 words per minute. It's in the third quarter! But before, our mothers and fathers, being first-graders themselves, learned only to add letters.

Well, if the parents have identified the reasons why the child refuses to do homework, then they need to accustom themselves to patience and understand that the difficult mission of home mentors awaits them.

Let's talk about motivation

The key to success in this case is the positive motivation of the child to do homework. It takes a lot of effort to build that motivation. First of all, these efforts are based on positive school experience. If your child is not doing well at school, then he will perceive homework as a continuation of school torture.

Therefore, positive motivation is developed, first of all, within the walls of the school, and only then at home. Here we can talk about the need for close interaction between the school and the family.

Well, what about those parents who understand that they cannot find an answer to the question of how to make a child do homework without scandals, due to the fact that the child simply does not like the school that he has to go to every day? Such parents can be advised to solve this issue on principle, up to changing schools or finding another teacher.

In general, fathers and mothers need to be very sensitive in matters of schooling. It also happens that in the classroom the child gets the unenviable role of “stuffed animal”, “whipping boy”, relations with classmates do not add up, others offend your child. Naturally, he does not want to study at all. After all, how can you go to school if you are not loved and offended there? What is the right way to do homework...

Does age play a role?

Much in this matter is decided by the age at which the child himself is. It happens, for example, that a child does not want to do homework, grade 1, in which he is still studying, simply has not yet formed the correct positive motivation. In this case, it is much easier to interest such a first grader than an older student.

In general, parents of first-graders need to remember that their children go through an adaptation process in the first quarter. Therefore, the problem of how to make a child do homework without scandals is not yet so significant. There will be scandals in this case. But there is a chance that they will stop when your son or daughter goes through the difficult process of adjusting to first grade.

Also, parents of first-graders need to remember that it is the 1st grade that is the “golden time” on which all the future successes or failures of their child depend. After all, this is the period when your son or daughter understands what school is, why you need to study, what they want to achieve in their class. The personality of the first teacher is also very important in this matter. It is a wise and kind teacher who can become for your child that guide to the world of knowledge, a person who will show the way to life. Therefore, the personality of such a teacher is very important for children! If a first-grader is afraid of his teacher, does not trust him, then this, of course, will have a very bad effect on his studies and the desire to do homework.

How to make a high school student do homework?

But this is a more difficult question. After all, parents can still put pressure on the baby, they can force him, using, in the end, their authority, but what about the offspring, who is in a transitional age? After all, nothing can force such a child to learn. Yes, it is much more difficult to cope with a teenager. Here you need patience, tact, the ability to understand. Parents need to think about the question of how to do homework with a child without screaming, because, perhaps, often they themselves simply provoke a conflict, unable to stand it and blaming their grown-up son or daughter for all sins. And teenagers react very sharply to criticism, it is difficult for them to cope with it, as a result they simply refuse to do the work that is given at home at school.

The transitional age in which schoolchildren are from 12 to 14-15 years old can seriously affect a student's progress. Children at this moment experience serious physical and psychological stress, often they experience their first love, strive to impress their peers. What kind of education is there? And parents at this age become a kind of opponents for children, because a teenager seeks to break away from his family, to get the right to manage his own life. Overly authoritarian parents in this case begin to put a lot of pressure on their children to call them to obedience. But they do not always achieve this obedience, but it happens that the child begins to protest. And often the refusal to do homework is the result of this protest.

Teach Children Responsibility

A good help for all parents who seek to build relationships with their child, and at the same time make their son or daughter study well, is to find the answer to the question of how to teach a child to do homework on his own? After all, if you teach your child from the very first years at school to the fact that he himself must be responsible for his actions, then perhaps this responsibility will accompany him all the remaining school years. In general, it is very important to teach children to understand that everything in life depends on their actions, on their desires and aspirations.

Think about why your child is studying, what did you inspire him? Did you tell him that he is studying for a career that lies ahead of him in a nebulous future? Did you explain to him that the learning process is a kind of work, difficult work, the result of which will be knowledge about the world of people that cannot be bought for money? Think about what you are talking with your child, what are you teaching him?

Therefore, before analyzing the problem of if the child does not learn lessons, what to do with him, try to understand yourself. And don't forget about the example you set for your children. After all, your attitude to work, housework will also become a kind of incentive for your children to study. Therefore, with all your appearance, demonstrate that studying has always been an interest to you, continue to study with your children, even if you are already 40 years old!

Use methodical techniques!

Of course, it is worth remembering about modern methodological techniques. There are many such methods. Most of them, however, are aimed at helping children of primary school age. These are various games that are held before and after doing homework, stimulating the cognitive activity of children, retelling, and so on. An old methodical technique is to draw up a daily routine for a child. Even your first grader needs to know how much time he has for school, extracurricular activities, games and, of course, lessons. After all, you, being preoccupied with the problem of how to make a child do homework, should help in every possible way in this.

Do not do homework instead of your son or daughter!

Very often, parents make another pedagogical mistake. From a very early age, they teach their child to what lessons do with him instead of him. The child quickly realizes that his task is simply to do, to rewrite what mom or dad has already prepared for him. Don't make this mistake! Thus, you accustom your child to the fact that without labor, at the expense of others, much can be achieved in life. And it turns out, as in Dragunsky's story "Vasya's dad is strong ...". Don't be like mom and dad. Remember, you must know the answer to the question of how to teach a child to do their homework on their own. This is your parental duty!

Another common mistake is the excessive ambition of parents who want to make young geniuses out of their children at all costs. Moreover, such parents often simply “break” the psyche of their children themselves, simply forgetting that they should be concerned about the problem of how to teach a child to do homework, and not about how to raise a young talent in all subjects.

Very often, homework in such families turns into torture for children. Mom or dad forces a son or daughter to rewrite the same task several times, achieving its perfect completion, parents find fault with trifles, they are stingy with praise. So what is left for the kids to do? Of course, after some time, children refuse to work, fall into tantrums, showing with all their appearance that they simply cannot become young geniuses, as their parents want from them. But this is still the easiest case. But it happens that parents inspire their children with a “complex of an excellent student or an excellent student”, setting him tasks that their children simply cannot complete.

For example, an ambitious mother, who has raised her son alone all her life, dreams of him becoming a great violinist and giving his concerts all over the world. Her son really successfully studies at a music school, but he could not rise above the level of a music school, let's say this: he simply did not have enough talent and patience. And what should such a mother do, who in her imagination has already elevated her son to the rank of great musicians of our time? She does not need an ordinary loser son ... And how can this young man be reproached for the fact that nature did not make him a genius?

Or another example. Parents dream of their daughter defending her doctoral dissertation. Moreover, it is not even very important for them that scientific direction within which this should be done. The girl is instilled with this family dream from a young age, she is required to achieve wonderful results in a scientific career, but the girl has intellectual abilities only above average, as a result, her desire for a degree ends in a mental hospital.

Agree that these examples are sad, but they are the very flesh of our real life. Often, very often, parents do this with their children.

What if the subject is simply not given?

It also happens that the subject is simply not given to the child. Well, your son or daughter does not have the ability for physics or chemistry, for example. What to do in this case? How to make a child do homework if he does not understand anything, simply does not understand how to solve this or that task? Here, parental patience alone is no longer enough. You need endurance, tact, and another person who can explain a difficult task to a child. In this case, it would be wiser for parents to hire a tutor for their son or daughter to help resolve this issue in a positive way.

Is it possible to do lessons for money or gifts?

Recently, parents have begun to use a simple method of manipulation, which is simply called bribery. Its essence lies in the fact that a father or mother, without thinking about an objective solution to the question of how to do homework with a child, simply seek to bribe their child with various promises. It can be both sums of money, and just gifts: a cell phone, a bicycle, entertainment. However, it is worth warning all parents against this method of influencing children. This is ineffective because the child will start demanding more and more over and over again. There are a lot of homework every day, and now your child is not satisfied with just a smartphone, he needs an iPhone, and he has the right to it, because he is studying, fulfilling all school requirements, etc. And then, imagine how harmful the habit for their daily work, which is the responsibility of the child, to demand from their parents any handouts.

What should parents do? Psychologist's opinion

Experienced specialists in the field of psychology advise parents to help their child do homework. You need to help with a mind and a loving heart. In general, a sense of proportion is ideal here. In this case, the parent must be both strict and demanding, and kind, and fair. He must have patience, remember tact, respect the personality in his child, not strive to make a genius out of his son or daughter, understand that each person has his own character, inclinations and abilities.

It is very important to show the child that he is always dear to his parents. You can tell your son or daughter that the father or mother is proud of him, proud of his academic success and believe that he can overcome all his academic difficulties on his own. And if there is a problem in the family - the child does not do homework, the advice of a psychologist will come in handy in resolving it.

Finally, all parents should remember that children always need our support. Studying for a child is a real job with its problems, ups, successes and falls. Children change a lot in the process of schooling, they acquire new character traits, learn not only to understand the world, but also to learn. And of course, teachers and their closest and most faithful comrades, parents, should help children along this path!