What are German husbands like? German man. What is he
Boring, prudent and pedantic - about such a stereotype about German men lives in the head of most Russian girls who come to Germany. We found out that all this is true, but the girls themselves do not consider these qualities to be shortcomings. And even learned to find advantages in them.
So, what do you need to be prepared for in dealing with the Germans?
Germans pay for a woman only on the first date (and even then not always)
Immediately prepare your wallet and forget that the man will pay for you. At best, you will split the bill in half. And yes, ice cream and cinema - also at your own expense. Unless, of course, you come across a German who has already dealt with Russian women and knows what is expected of him.
Svetlana: “I moved to Germany at the age of twenty. Before that, I had already heard that the Germans are stingy, in a restaurant everyone pays for himself. Then, of course, it seemed simply terrible to me, but I could not readjust. In the first days I met a man, and we went to eat ice cream. It was a matter of course for me that he would pay. I didn't even try to get my wallet. He didn't seem to expect that from me either. Later I found out that he had a lot of experience in relations with Russian women, he was specifically looking for them. Therefore, he was aware of what was expected of him, that he would open the door, give coats and carry bags. He even gave flowers sometimes - you usually don’t expect such luxury from the Germans.
A little later, looking around a little, I understood the rules of the game and began to behave differently. At the first meeting, as a rule, the man pays. On the second and subsequent ones, the woman should offer to split the bill - in my memory, no one has yet refused money. Even in the cinema, everyone paid for himself - that's what I still don't understand. Many of the people I met were well-to-do, with their own homes and two cars. It's one thing when both are students, but when do you make good money?
At the end of the evening, he paid, but for the sake of decency, I still offered to give part of the money. He says: “OK, give me €20”. It was almost half the amount.
I remember one time I went with a man who already had specific plans for me to a restaurant. At the end of the evening, he paid, but for the sake of decency, I still offered to give part of the money. He says: “OK, give me €20”. It was almost half the amount. I still think it's not normal. There were also cases when I paid for both.
I quickly got used to it and even began to offer to divide the amount myself. This became a kind of relationship test: if a man immediately happily agreed, then I automatically wrote him down as a friend.
Anna: “I came to Germany for work. I had no urgent need to find a husband. I was in no hurry to look for a person to my liking. What immediately surprised me was the division of the bill. This, of course, was a complete surprise for our mentality. But I quickly got used to it and even began to offer to divide the amount myself. This became a kind of relationship test: if a man immediately happily agreed, then I automatically wrote him down as a friend. I wanted something more romantic, to be courted. My future husband distinguished himself by the fact that the first indignantly refused money. I really liked it, and I began to look at it more closely. ”
They devote a lot of time to family and children.
Almost all the women we talked to said that 6-8 years had passed from the moment they met to the wedding. Many of them admitted that they were ready to sign much earlier, but the partner needed much more time. “The Germans look at the girl for a long time, decide for a long time on the next step. If you are not yet thirty, be prepared to meet for ten years, ”says Diana. But if the choice is made, then German men are completely immersed in the family.
I can completely relax in the sense that my husband does not have any relationship on the side. He just doesn't need it.
Anna: “The Germans are exemplary family men, very loyal. My husband and I have three children, he is a businessman and works hard. I can completely relax in the sense that my husband does not have any relationship on the side. He simply does not need it: he says that Russian women are more sincere, well-educated, able to present themselves and communicate correctly with business partners. He is delighted that I have time to redo all the things at home, with children, and at work. I am sure that if I had been in the same position in Russia, being married to a Russian, the situation would have been completely different. I would constantly think about where he is and what he does when he is not at home.
Svetlana: “When the daughter was very small and woke up very early, her husband got up with her. Even before leaving for work, they had time to chat, play, read a book while I slept. On weekends, he always goes with her to the playground. True, interestingly, when I was pregnant, the attitude towards this was very even. He went to hang clothes on the roof because it was hard for me, but if I wanted strawberries or pickles at night, he would have ignored the request.
Diana: “As far as I can see from my acquaintances, the Germans take care of children in a way that, probably, no one else. It doesn't cost anything to change diapers for them. When our daughter was born, for the first three months she did not want to stay with anyone but me. Because of this, the husband was very worried, read books, spent more time with his daughter. If I went somewhere on business, he was happy to be alone with her. On weekends, too, all day with the child - playing, walking. Now we are looking for a swimming course that would be convenient for my husband in time. He works all day, so it's not that easy."
They are scrupulous in matters of the family budget
Svetlana: “When we got married, we immediately opened a joint bank account, where each monthly transferred a certain amount. It turned out about €2 thousand per month. From this account we paid for the apartment, made large purchases, paid for gasoline and groceries, and went on vacation. But since his salary was much higher than mine, we made contributions on a percentage basis. He very carefully, up to a percentage, calculated the amount that everyone should transfer. But this is not pedantry for the sake of pedantry, he was simply afraid to offend me and take too much. As a result, the ratio of contributions turned out to be approximately 70/30, and I believe that this is fair. Now, since I'm on maternity leave, he pays for everything.
But this is not pedantry for the sake of pedantry, he was simply afraid to offend me and take too much.
My colleague, who has about the same financial situation in the family, pays 50/50 with her husband. That is, she has almost no money left for herself, despite the fact that her husband earns many times more. This, I think, is wrong."
They love order and do everything by the rules.
Svetlana: “My husband is quite picky and likes everything to be neat and free of smudges and dust. But he himself has a hand in it. In the evening she cleans the kitchen, takes out the trash and does other things. My friend's Russian husband, for example, has the same requirements for cleanliness, but at the same time he believes that housekeeping is an exclusively women's business.
When my relatives arrive, they are surprised by his extreme meticulousness, which I myself no longer pay attention to.
When my relatives arrive, they are surprised by his extreme meticulousness, which I myself no longer pay attention to. For example, before breakfast, he asks everyone what kind of buns to buy: wheat, rye, with or without seeds, sweet or salty. Everyone must say exactly what he wants and how much. Relatives ask why you can't just go and buy a little bit of everything. But in fact, this is good meticulousness: he just wants to please everyone. And yes, we cook eggs only in an egg cooker. And to peel a boiled egg, we use a special device that makes a neat incision along the shell.
Anna: “The Germans are really boring. But no, that's not quite the right word. They just always follow the rules. For example, recently our printer broke down - it chewed paper. While my husband was running around the apartment and looking for instructions to find out what to do in such cases, I already climbed inside, pulled out the paper and fixed everything myself. He was just shocked how I could do it without a detailed description. But, although he is surprised at this, and often indignant, at the same time it delights him.
In the closet, everything should lie perfectly evenly. Socks - neatly folded: black - in one pile, white - in another. He never buys unnecessary, from his point of view, things. For example, for recreation, he only has one pair of sneakers. The second is bought only when the previous one is worn out, and not before. The same goes for a set of underwear and socks.
The Germans are honest and meticulous, including in finance. They even declare what can be easily hidden and what the Russians would never bother with.
The Germans are honest and meticulous, including in finance. They even declare what can be easily hidden and what the Russians would never bother with. One day, a husband lent his business partner money privately and then received a small percentage for it. He then indicated this amount in the tax, although it was easy not to do this. We don’t pay the cleaning lady in black, as is often done here, but officially, so that she pays taxes.
The documents in the office should be laid out exactly as he left them on the table. God forbid someone moves - there will be a storm.
Once she said that I want corn, let's go, they say, we will pick on the field. I will never forget his face at that moment.
Irina: “Excessive correctness sometimes gets it. I remember once I said that I want corn, let's go, they say, we'll pick it up in the field. I will never forget his face at that moment. And once they went to the forest for mushrooms, got a little lost, went to the field, and carrots grow there. I pulled one. God, I've heard so much! The next day, my husband bought me a dozen bunches of carrots, just so I wouldn’t tear them anymore.”
They don't offer help, they wait to be asked.
The Germans are not accustomed to snatching a bag from a woman's hand, giving her coat and letting her go ahead. It affects education, which begins in kindergarten: all people are equal. “In the garden for ice cream and sweets, the boys always run ahead of the girls. I once made a remark to my son in the presence of a teacher and asked him to pull him up, they say, ladies first. She looked at me like I was a fool and said that this is the last century, ”says Eugene.
True, if you ask to hold the door or bring something heavy, then almost no one refuses. In the same way, they themselves seek help when they cannot cope.
Anna: “Every day I go for a walk in the park with a stroller. To do this, you must first lower it down the stairs. Athletic young people often run past, who will not even guess to offer help while I am squirming ... When I lived in England, this was not the case, help was always offered, and in Russia too. My husband, who lived in other countries, now began to feel this difference very sharply.
There are too many emancipated women in Germany, so even real men have become more careful - why do they need extra problems? They just don't know how to behave.
Alice: “A typical phrase of German men who want to help: “Can I take it?”. That says it all. Apparently, not everyone wants their personal belongings touched. Perhaps this is just my personal interpretation, but otherwise I can not explain.
Natalia: « I am against emancipation, and I really like it when they carry my bags, hold the door, pay for me in a restaurant. In my understanding, a man is the one who does all this and for him it's normal. But there are too many emancipated women in Germany, so even real men have become more careful - why do they need extra problems? They just don’t know how to behave – many Germans have admitted this to me!”
But most importantly, the Germans evaluate a person by his qualities.
Anna: "I'm going to say something that's probably terrible. It's no secret that some German women look, let's say, too casual. When I ask my husband why this is so, do they really not want to be attractive to their men, he invariably answers: “We look at the soul, not the appearance.”
Illustration: shutterstock.com
Read our other texts about life and relationships in different countries in Telegram
Encountering numerous articles and essays on the net on the topic “Russian women - what are they?”, “A typical image of a French woman” or “Polynesian women and their views on motherhood”, I suddenly thought: why are there so few articles about men of one nationality or another?
Maybe there are actually a lot of them, they just didn’t come across to me? And where can you read about them? At Mens Health? So the idea arose to chat a little about German men, to introduce you to them and to look at them with a more biased look.
You should probably start with what a typical representative of Germany looks like. German men are usually tall, lean, long-legged, often fair-haired. Facial features are sharp. Bad character. Not married (s)
Joke…
Since it is just as difficult to find a typical German in Germany as in Moscow - a native inhabitant, at least in the second generation, then, of course, the range of external data of a German is actually very wide. There are short ones, there are redheads, and there are fat ones.
Let's move on to the peculiarities of the national character, there is something to profit from. Here are a few features of a typical Hellmuth or Günther.
Helmut - sentimental and romantic
I think much more than Russian men. Coming to the supermarket for shopping, he can easily grab a couple of bouquets of tulips, and not to give them to his wife on March 8, or, I'm not afraid of this word, Rosa Luxemburg, but just like that, to cheer up his own mood.
In Helmut's apartment, who lives alone, melted candles, vases of flowers, and cute pillows on the sofa are very common. They did not get to him by inheritance from the former, and were not even brought with them by one of the contenders for his heart and hand. He bought them himself (of course, at a sale, because saving is our everything), solely to create comfort in his own apartment.
Oh yes, saving is very important for a German man.
Hellmuth is very economical
And this is not stinginess - this is a principle: everything should be worth its money.
Let us cite a case as an illustration: there are no long queues in the supermarket next to our house, but here we had to stand: the cashier punched tomatoes at 2.99 euros per kg for one man, not seeing that there was a discount on them that day, and they cost 1.55 euros! The man, zealously checking the check after the purchase, caught the cashier. There was no scandal, but the rights had to be restored, so the check was interrupted, the cash desk was reloaded, the queue patiently and understandingly waited, because the German queue understands what justice is. It lasted about 10 minutes.
Of course, you are now eagerly awaiting news from us - has the German man received his reclaimed 1.44 euros? We hasten to assure you: received! And, satisfied, he went home!
Because ordnung, i.e. order has been restored. And Hellmuth loves order most of all.
If, wanting to meet you in a restaurant or cafe, Helmut says: “I invite you” - you are lucky, he will pay for you! And you can safely order truffles in champagne (just don't get too carried away with champagne and behave yourself, he doesn't like surprises in public places).
If he did not announce that he was inviting you, then be prepared to split the bill. Perhaps, of course, he believes that paying for a woman is a matter of course, this also happens. But still, be prepared - just in case.
Helmut - esthete
Usually his shoes are always polished, his shirt is ironed, as well as a neat haircut and very well-groomed hands. Many uncles go for manicures and pedicures, and at the same time they prefer women. A German man loves red wine in a beautiful glass, impressionist paintings and expensive watches and cars. And also, after 45 years, many of them have an irresistible desire ... to play the piano. Someone else, but I know this better than anyone. About 30% of my students are men. And, no matter how much they want to flatter themselves, experience has shown that they really want to ... play the piano. And nothing more.
Hellmuth loves football
He was already born with a ball in his hands. Or with a mug of beer, with which he will rap in ecstasy on the bar table, where he will watch the next match of the national league. During the broadcast of the World Cup, not a single live bird is found on the streets of Germany, not to mention a living man. All male children are enrolled in the football section.
You don't like football and yet you are a man and live in Germany? So you are not German.
Helmut can speak competently and well, regardless of his social status and education
I noted this for myself a long time ago, when, due to life circumstances, I was forced to use the services of one taxi company for a long time, the owner of which was a German, who himself willingly sits at the steering wheel, and also maintains a staff of ten taxi drivers, whom he basically took from compatriots.
I have to admit, bowing my head, that such Hoch Deutsch, (high German, the officially accepted polite form of the German language spoken by television announcers), I did not even hear from Angela Merkel. From the speech turns of taxi drivers, I just went crazy, feeling like a loader of the Promzona store, who had recently come out of a three-week binge ... Taxi drivers bent such phrases that a Harvard professor would have covered with red spots from the realization of his illiteracy.
Helmut loves to cook
There is even such family entertainment: cooking together. I first heard about this from one of the cutest German couples, who, in response to my question: “How did you spend your weekend?” - proudly answered: "We - cooked!"
Poor, I thought... Well, it was necessary to kill like that on the weekend... Well, how many guests were they waiting for? Why was it impossible to put aside this fundamental savings once and go to a restaurant, since the income of this family clearly allowed them to have all the best? But no, then I just didn’t know yet that cooking together is the same pleasure for the Germans as going to the cinema or theater together.
They plan it for a long time: they go to the store together, buy everything they need, and then on their free day they start a miracle - they cook, say, asparagus consommé.
It looks something like this: while drinking wine, they put something into the pan, from which this consommé then comes out:
“Günther,” the lady says conspiratorially and even somewhat intimately, “wouldn’t you pass me some salt to salt the consommé?”
“Of course, dear,” Gunther says in Hoch Deutsch, and brings salt, as well as thyme leaves.
- Honey, why did Herr ... Gunther you brought me thyme? - starting to wind up, the quarrelsome Greta mutters, - when I asked you to bring only salt with normal German Hoch Deutsch?
And a fight breaks out. The saucepan with the consommé lands right on Gunther's head, the thyme is less fortunate - it has not yet been thrust into such distant places even in Belonika's recipes...
No, no, that doesn't really happen.
The German couple cooks well and quickly, it turns out very tasty, and then they eat it all together, smacking their lips and drinking some Moselle harvest of 2003.
Special mention deserves the popular German pop songs that are played daily on all radio stations. They can add zest to the portrait of a German man.
One day I heard a song on the radio. How amusing, I thought, listening to the text! What a fun idea to set the instructions for using a washing machine to music!
Then, listening, I realized that I got excited. There was a song from the top chat in Germany, a song about great love.
Attached is the translation:
"Could you fix me,
so that I can function better?
'Cause if you don't fix me
I can't function anymore!"
This song is about the love of a German man, it is also sung by a man, by the way.
You are not tired?
Then I'll sing you another very popular song here. It plays on the radio about three times a day.
"I can't find a woman
I'm still searching, I'm looking for a 100% hit.
But I'm always missing something
and I ask myself:
when will it be not 99%, but 100?
When everything exactly matches and no adjustment is needed?
When I say to myself: this is definitely absolutely 100% suitable for me?
This song is also sung by a man, and it is after the phrase about “100 percent” that he jumps up pathetically and takes a very high note. Worries, apparently, in earnest. How not to worry if his debit and credit do not converge, even if you crack!
I hope you have a rather positive picture, and you urgently want to meet some German man. But I must warn you: do not flatter yourself!
Among the local men there are also illiterate, unclear mind Golden clients of McDonald's, beer lovers in the morning, which somehow does not add positive lines to their resumes and even Hoch Deutsch does not save; there are men who are not men at all and want to get married themselves, there are especially many of them in Cologne, the city recognized as the "capital" of the "sexual minorities of the Land of Nord Rhine Westphalia", there are also carriers of many other shortcomings.
But why should we talk about insufficient men? We must look for the positive in everything, so they have no place in our story. We are for beauty and positive emotions in everything!
Therefore, here are some photos of real handsome German men in the end.
And (get your husbands away from the screens!) My wish to you: let them dream about you today. For variety.
May Brad Pitt sleep peacefully for at least one night!
Sweet Dreams!
19.Torben Liebrecht / Torben Liebrecht(born December 3, 1977, Germany) is a German actor. Films with his participation: "Wolf's Law", "The Mann Family - A Centennial Romance", "On Guard for Death", "Wild Angels", "Passion for Luther", "Trenk. Two Hearts - One Crown", "By the Sea", "Lulu and Jimi"
18. Manuel Neuer(born March 27, 1986, Gelsenkirchen, North Rhine - Westphalia, Germany) - a German footballer who plays for the Bayern Munich club as a goalkeeper. Germany goalkeeper since 2009. Bronze medalist at the 2010 World Championship. Finalist of the Champions League 2012.
17. Hanno Koffler / Hanno Koffler(born March 25, 1980, Berlin, Germany) is a German actor and musician. In 1994 he founded the group Kerosene along with his brother Max Koffler. Films with his participation: "Anatomy 2", "Summer Storm", "Comets of the City of Halle", "Red Baron", "Krabat. Sorcerer's Apprentice", "If not us, then who", "Free Fall".
16. Thomas Kretschmann / Thomas Kretschmann(born September 8, 1962, Dessau, East Germany) - German actor. The fame of the actor brings a role in the film "The Pianist". In 2006 he received the award Best Actor for the title role in the film "Rothenburg" International Film Festival in Catalonia. Is the face of a new fragrance from Hugo Boss. Currently lives in Los Angeles.
15. Marco Reus / Marco Reus(born May 31, 1989, Dortmund, Germany) - German football player, attacking midfielder of the Borussia Dortmund club and the German national football team.
14. Bill Kaulitz(born September 1, 1989, Leipzig, East Germany) - vocalist of the German band Tokio Hotel. Twin brother of the band's guitarist Tom Kaulitz.
13. Marlon Kittel / Marlon Kittel(born December 11, 1983, Essen, Germany) is a German actor. Films with his participation: "Division of Joy", "Mountain Doctor", "Her Order, Father Castel", "Night Rescuers", "Rescue Service in the Mountains", "The Last Bull", etc.
12. Moritz Bleibtreu / Moritz Bleibtreu(born August 13, 1971, Munich) is a German actor. The films "Knockin' on Heaven", "Run, Lola, Run", "Moon Dad" brought wide popularity. In 2006 he was awarded silver bear for Best Actor in 56th Berlin Film Festival.
11.Tilman Valentin "Til" Schweiger(born December 19, 1963, Freiburg) is a German actor, director, producer and screenwriter. The film "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" brought world fame to the actor, for which he was awarded an award. Moscow Film Festival 1998 for Best Actor. Films with his participation: "Most Desirable Man", "Trash", "Polar Bear 9th Gauge", "Replacement Killers", "Punk from Salt Lake City", "U-429: Submarine Prison", "Man on call 2", "One way", "Inglourious Basterds", "Musketeers", etc.
10. Max Riemelt / Max Riemelt(born January 7, 1984) is a German actor. In 1997, at the age of 13, he made his debut in the TV movie Kissing Family. Two years later, he makes his film debut: in the adventure film for children "The Bear Runs Away". In 2001, he starred in a youth comedy in the spirit of "American Pie" - "Girls from Above". After supporting roles in television series (Wolf's Law, Cobra Special Squad), in 2003 he again played a major role in the well-reviewed drama Death Academy. For this role, he won the nomination Best Actor at International Film Festival in Karlovy Vary. On February 14, 2006, the world premiere of the film "Red Cockatoo" took place on Berlin Film Festival, where the actor plays the role of Ziga, for which
receives an award "Bayerischer Filmpreis" in the category Best Young Actor. In 2008, he starred in the film "Experiment 2: Wave". In 2009, he plays a student in the comedy The Thirteenth Semester. In 2010, he starred in the vampire film Taste of the Night.
9. Roman Lob / Roman Lob(born July 2, 1990 in Düsseldorf) - German singer, German representative at the song contest Eurovision 2012, Where took 8th place, scoring 110 points.
8. Christoph Metzelder / Christoph Metzelder(born November 5, 1980, Haltern am See, North Rhine-Westphalia, Germany) - German footballer, defender of Schalke 04.
7.Michael Fassbender / Michael Fassbender(born April 2, 1977, Heidelberg, Germany) is an Irish actor of German descent. Known for his roles in the films Inglourious Basterds, X-Men: First Class and Prometheus. Also played in the films "Jane Eyre", "300 Spartans", "Hunger" and in the TV series "The Witch" and "Band of Brothers". Winner of the US Screen Actors Guild Award (2009), winner of the Volpi Cup for Best Actor (2011), nominee for the Golden Globe Award (2012) and BAFTA (2012).
6. Mats Julian Hummels(born December 16, 1988, Bergisch Gladbach, Germany) - German footballer, defender of Borussia Dortmund and the German national team.
5. Thomas Anders / Thomas Anders(real name - Bernd Weidung; born March 1, 1963, Munstermeifeld, Rhineland-Palatinate, Germany) - German pop singer, actor and composer, former lead singer of the group "Modern Talking".
4. Gedeon Burkhard(born July 3, 1969, Munich) - German theater and film actor. Started acting at the age of 10. He tried to make a career as a ballet dancer, studied at the Munich Ballet Academy, but settled on cinema. In Russia, he is known for his role as Police Commissioner Alex Brandtner in the series "Commissioner Rex". Other films with his participation: "My Man Is My Hobby", "Summer Love", "Who Owns Tobias?", "Two Stories and One Wedding", "Special Squad Cobra 11", "Inglourious Basterds", etc.
3. Maximilian Befort / Maximilian Befort(born May 15, 1989 Germany) is a German actor. Films with his participation: the series "Wolf's Law", "Emil and the Detectives", the films "Bibi the Little Sorceress", "Henry of Navarre", "Romeo", etc.
2. Kostja Ullmann(born May 30, 1984 Hamburg, Germany) is a German actor. In 2004 he made his film debut - in the drama "Summer Storm". He starred in the TV movies "School Trip" and "Secret Love", where he plays a high school student who fell in love with an adult woman. In 2006, he starred in another film about the relationship between a young man and an adult woman - "The Pursued". At the Locarno Film Festival, the film won Golden Leopard nominations -Filmmakers of the present presented by the Italian fashion house. In 2008 for his role in the TV movie "Miracle in Berlin" was nominated for the Bayerischen Fernsehpreis in nomination Best TV Movie Actor. In the 2009 film The Prodigal Son, he plays a young German convert to Islam who is suspected of terrorism. In 2010, he starred in the film Fans Don't Stay for Breakfast, in 2012 - The Guardian.
1. Thore Schoelermann(born September 26, 1984 Iserlohn, Germany) - German actor, TV presenter. After graduating from acting courses in Spain, he starred in short films until he received an invitation to star in the TV series Forbidden Love. In 2012, he was the host of the second season of the television show "Voice of Germany". Was a judge at a men's beauty pageant "Mr Gay World 2009".
Sometimes it seems that if there is a boss who orders to jump from the bridge into an empty pit, then they will jump without ranting. However, why does it seem? There is historical evidence for this. Cowards are very easy to bring down in a flock and lead anywhere. They have few thoughts of their own, because thinking differently than ordered by the authorities is scary!
Like any weak individuals, the Germans cling to their roots, and most often not tribal, but simply national, there are all sorts of traditions and in general it is important for them that "everything was as always." If grandfather went to some kind of hairdresser, then both the father will go there, and the son, if the hairdresser does not turn around by that time. Having lost some familiar point of support for natural reasons, a German can fall into a stupor, against which he can radically change something, for example, if a hairdresser who has been going to him for many years has retired, he can buy himself a clipper at home shave my head to zero, painfully thinking in my free time from this occupation, which hairdresser would now give up.
The attitude towards the family and children is also, uh ... peculiar, let's say so. Yes, they choose wives carefully, because they are terribly afraid of divorce and everything connected with it, especially material losses that a man often bears in full, especially if there are children. Therefore, most often they agree to endure from their wives a lot of what Russian men will not tolerate. However, there are divorces and there are many of them. Oddly enough, but women eventually "see the light" that next to them is not a man, but natural rags and leave their sufferers for nothing.
Children are a separate issue. Yes, the German is attached to his children while they are small. They mess with them, walk, take them to swim in the pool and go with them to the zoo. Like all weaklings, they are sentimental and they are touched by everything small, cute, defenseless. Do you know the other side of sentimentality? Cruelty. I know, for example, a German couple who, after getting married, decided to send 3 children from their previous marriages to an orphanage. Well, to, so to speak, start family life from scratch.
Grown up children are expelled from the family (as a rule) - live on your own and as you like, we "rattled" our own. By law, parents, if they have a decent income, must pay a certain amount to their children if they study. In practice, parents often put their grown children, who want to get a more prestigious profession, into a situation where they are forced to earn money for a living at the expense of their education. I understand when almost the last thing is taken from parents for this matter. However, they often have their own house, and decent bank accounts, and a couple of non-economy class cars in the garage ...
On the one hand, a German man is a convenient partner, especially if a woman has a head and character. And he understands what can be expected from her husband, and what should not be expected, but what and just take and teach your man.
On the other hand, many women lack precisely this male core, which cannot be replaced by any tricks. Here, as they say - think for yourself, decide for yourself whether to have or not to have.
In conclusion, I want to say that Germany, as a state, is a society of great social injustice, in which those who work for the benefit of those who are idle are mercilessly ripped off. And this is also strongly reflected in family relationships and in male characters.
Of course, you are sure that your husband is the best, handsome, charming and intelligent man in the world. The period of courtship was insanely romantic and beautiful, he threatened to throw the whole world, all the stars at your feet, and you generously believed him.
Mendelssohn's wedding march has died down, the streams of guests to your house, endless gifts and congratulations have ended. You were left alone with your husband and a completely alien and unfamiliar country for you. No, the husband remained dear and beloved as before, but for some reason, family life, after the rose-colored glasses were removed, turned out to be a little different than you imagined it before. And such a generous groom became a very economical husband. Yes, and in general everything is a little different. What's the matter? And what is the reason for such dramatic changes?
Let's talk a little about Germans in general. Someone thinks that the Germans are the complete antipode of the Russians. If the Russian soul is wide, and generosity knows no bounds, especially when there is something to give, then the Germans are reserved and economical people. The Russian word discipline is not so close, if it were their will, then it would be deleted from Dahl's dictionary and use in general. The Germans, for the most part, are neat and disciplined. If a German witnesses an offense, be it an improperly parked car or a robbery, he will disciplinedly report it to the proper place. One cannot expect such responsibility from the Russians, and a person who goes to report to the traffic police that the neighbor’s car is in the wrong place will get a very bad nickname, or even a couple of bruises under his eye. The life of the Germans is strictly subject to the law and rules, and this is done not under pressure, but voluntarily and is absorbed into the consciousness with mother's milk. So, what awaits you in marriage with a German?
Life after marriage
Let's be honest, if you married a German for love, and not for the purpose of moving to Germany for permanent residence, then this is already a big plus and a guarantee that your relationship has a very possible future. It’s just that there are quite common cases when Russian girls marry a German, wanting to move to Germany, for this, they believe, it’s not a sin to portray both African passion and wild love. After marriage, the husband ceases to recognize his beloved, who, unlike the promised borscht and Bavarian sausages, does not cook anything at all. But she actively attends various clubs and gatherings with fellow countrymen, and she completely forgot to think about learning German. Is it any wonder that the husband does not consider it necessary to behave like a lover, because such an attitude can kill not only a good relationship, but also the strongest love. As a result, refusal to issue money, mutual insults and divorce.
If you are driven by love, then although it will be difficult, you can adapt to almost everything. First, consider German thrift, which often becomes a bone of contention. Yes, he doesn’t spoil you so much anymore and doesn’t give money for a second fur coat and a bunch of trinkets, but at the same time he doesn’t spend everything that he didn’t give you on himself. Therefore, do not call him stingy and miserly. This is just economy and frugality, designed to ensure a decent life and old age for yourself, and for your joint children a decent existence. Moreover, with the money saved, you can go on vacation to Hawaii, Cyprus or some other heavenly place. Agree, it is worth it to give up unnecessary gold jewelry, which is already enough, and a second fur coat when the first one is not even a year old. If you are used to living in a big way at home, then it won’t hurt you to learn how to be economical, and if you really need money for all sorts of trinkets, then you may well get a job yourself.
So, we found out that it is quite possible to live with German thrift. What other difference in our mentalities can complicate family life. The second thing that girls face after thrift is the insane correctness of their German husbands. It would never occur to a German to park in the wrong place if there is a paid parking nearby. This Russian will think, why pay if I leave for only 10 minutes, the German will pay disciplinedly and will not worry if his car was stolen to a fine parking lot or this time he was lucky. The German will not arrange a picnic in the wrong place, only in a place specially designated for camping. Such correctness literally drives many Russians crazy, and they mistakenly equate it with tediousness. Yes, perhaps a German husband will be more boring than your last husband or acquaintance, who was reckless and violated all conceivable rules. But next to him, you can be sure of your safety, which could not be said about the reckless driver, who put adrenaline in the blood in the first place.
In addition, the Germans are terrible reinsurers and very cautious people who will think over and weigh everything several times before taking any action. You probably made sure of this while he pulled with a marriage proposal. He did this not because he does not love you, but out of a habit that has ingrained in his blood to weigh everything. Therefore, do not expect rash and spontaneous actions from him, this is not for the Germans. Therefore, if the correctness, discipline and deliberation of decisions are not your crown qualities, then life with a German will be quite difficult for you. If you grew up as a well-mannered child from childhood, then most likely you will be delighted with your caring and well-mannered husband.
The hardest thing girls have to deal with is German restraint. It is difficult to expect from them a violent manifestation of feelings, serenades under the window, cries of love and tears of tenderness. Outwardly, it will sometimes seem to you that your husband just stopped loving you. Otherwise how else to explain this coldness and restraint of his. You should not immediately assume all the worst, for starters, just talk to your husband and you will understand that you were greatly mistaken. Just a strong display of feelings is as far away for the Germans as, for example, restraint is for the Italians or the Spaniards, who are hot-blooded. Don't accuse your husband of being heartless when you find out he's sending his parents to a nursing home. He does this not at all out of callousness, but because he is sure that they will be provided with proper care and care there, which they will not receive at home. Yes, and communication with their own kind is guaranteed there, and this is much better than sitting at home locked up, within four walls. And he does not give them there without the right to visit, on the contrary, their parents are visited quite often. The same applies to children. Despite the fact that the Germans value the family very much and marry you, even if you have a child from another, but as soon as the child reaches adulthood, he will be safely sent to an independent life. And this is not because he is indifferent to his fate. He is simply sure that the time has come to build an independent life. Thus, despite all the difference in mentalities and customs of a foreign country, marriage with a German may well be happy. The main thing is to understand that he does everything not out of evil and not out of a desire to offend or humiliate you, but simply because he has such an upbringing and he is sure that he is doing the right thing. If something really hurts you, then talk to your husband about it. Just do not put ultimatums and conditions, just talk calmly, and maybe he will meet you halfway.
