The child is very shy for 25 years. How to help a shy child? Aggressiveness is the other side of shyness

shy child

Anna DMITRENKO

Four-year-old Lena shyly cuddles at her mother's feet, while two children - her friends - play briskly on the playground. “Well, come on, these are your friends, have you forgotten?” - Mom persuades Lena. She pulls the baby by the hand: “Olechka, Dima, take Lena into the game!”. “Come with us!” - five-year-old Dima throws over his shoulder and continues to build a hut from twigs. And Lena remains standing on the sidelines, not daring to take part in the common cause.

Why does this happen: some children are lively and active, while others are timid and shy? How to help a shy child become more sociable and relaxed? If you are asking these questions, remember that about a fifth of all parents are looking for the answer to them together with you.

natural predisposition

Back in the sixth century BC, Hippocrates identified four types of personality, which we later came to call temperaments. In the fifties of the twentieth century, researchers again returned to the study of the qualities of a person who staunchly accompany him from early childhood to old age. The most common were restraint and its lack. Psychologist Derom Kagan describes that reserved children show their temperament from the first day after birth, reacting to everything new with caution and indecision. Such children tend to retreat or get annoyed when they meet with unfamiliar phenomena, be afraid of strangers, seek refuge with their mother. According to studies, about 20% of healthy babies are easily aroused by unfamiliar surroundings and then have a hard time calming down. Most of them later become timid, cautious children.

It is very important for parents to properly educate a shy child so as not to aggravate his shyness, but rather smooth it out. Whether your baby grows up unsociable and nervous or calm and observant largely depends on you.

Mistakes in education

Our consultant is a child psychologist Galina APOSTOLOVA. The root causes of shyness should be sought in early childhood. The feeling of SELF at the age of five is the basis for the formation of the inner world of an adult.

Shyness is primarily associated with low self-esteem, which manifests itself in the fact that the baby evaluates his abilities and abilities lower than they really are. Psychologists often interpret shyness as "a tendency to seclusion and secrecy due to self-doubt", "embarrassment in the presence of other people."

Shy children experience their suffering in silence, not sharing with others, however, their whole appearance says: "I am shy." Shyness in external behavior is manifested in stiffness and awkwardness of movements, in the closed concentration of the child's face. At the physiological level - even in the increased heart rate and respiration.

The formation of this trait can contribute to:
early and therefore painful separation from the mother, which is the cause of the child's excessive sensitivity and dependence on the emotional state of the people around him, which, in turn, forms his shyness and insecurity;
excessive adherence to principles and strictness of parents, dependence of manifestations of attention and love on how the expectations of the father and mother are justified;
excessive demands and expectations in relation to the child, which is often the cause of his problems in later adult life.

Don't compare your children to others

Three-year-old Vanya walks with his mother on the playground. “Well, go ahead and ride down the hill,” his mother pushes him. Vanya hesitantly moves towards the hill, carefully puts his foot on the first step and stops, looking around at his mother. “I'll catch you below, don't be afraid, look: the kids are not afraid, but you are afraid. What a coward!” - Mom says with annoyance, trying to get her son to climb the stairs. “What a punishment! Why other kids can and you can't!” she sighs.

If your girlfriend has a choleric tomboy, do not rush to envy: this baby has a different rhythm of development, and his mother has other, no less serious problems with him. Your main task is to believe in the child so strongly and convincingly that the kid would believe you and be “infected” with your faith. Then he will become a self-confident person. After all, it is known: to achieve something in life, you can only believe in yourself.

Be patient. Give them time to get used to the new

A week later, shy Lenochka was enthusiastically playing with Olya and Dima.
Her mother was simply tired of trying to involve her daughter in the team and she left the child alone. Lena got used to her peers, studied their character, communication rules, favorite games, and unnoticed by everyone began to take part in joint games.

To rush a timid child means to introduce him into a state of psychological pressure, which tender and vulnerable children cannot withstand. The protective mechanisms of the psyche work - children become even more isolated, withdraw into themselves.

Exhortations and notations do not help

The baby's anxiety is irrational in nature, because the child himself, up to seven years old, lives in a world of feelings and images, and not common sense. To say with the words “there is nothing to worry about” is meaningless. You need to make your child feel safe. And what drives fear away better than mother's caress, mother's closeness?

In no case do not push!

Our daughter, a very shy child, was afraid of many things. New people, unfamiliar spacious rooms, loud sounds, theater, clowns in the circus, other people's apartments. Our appeals to common sense yielded nothing.

For more than a year, our Nadia did not go to the circus or the theater. During this time, she grew up, forgot her previous worries, her self-confidence noticeably strengthened. Then we went to the puppet theater. The dolls had been Nadya's friends for a long time, and it simply didn't occur to her to be afraid of them. Later, we successfully watched a circus performance, where her adorable little animals performed, and over time, we successfully “survived” the game of “live” actors in a children's theater.

A shy, timid child should be given time to get to know each other, take a closer look, understand the laws that apply in a new situation, be it a company of peers, a new teacher, a new apartment. Only by making sure that nothing threatens him there, he can calm down.

Do not yell at children or in the presence of children

At 3.5 years old, Sanya was sent to music lessons. A musical, gentle boy was very fond of songs, games to music. But there were a few restless boys in the group. They often indulged and interfered with practice. The teacher from time to time made remarks to them in a raised voice. Soon Sanya, with tears in his eyes, refused to go to the music. It seemed to him that it was he who was to blame for the fact that the teacher was shouting, that it was with him that she was unhappy. Sanya's mother was sympathetic to this problem and transferred the baby to another group. She understood: if an impressionable kid refuses to go to classes, it is not the child who is bad, but his teacher.

Increased demands of parents are dangerous

Pasha is in first grade. His natural shyness, excessive demands of his mother, misunderstanding of the teacher in the class led to the fact that the boy began to stutter when answering at the blackboard.

According to the observations of experts, it is in families where the leader is a woman that children often grow up shy, weak-willed and lack of initiative. In this case, the protective mechanisms of behavior are triggered: unable to withstand hard and close attention to themselves, due to excessive sensitivity, the child can, for example, constantly smile. Smiling doesn't always fit the situation. So it was with Pasha. Under the teacher's gaze, the boy began to smile nervously. The teacher perceived his smile as a mocking smirk, punishing with a deuce. Mom at home “added” for a bad grade. The result is stuttering.

So often parents have to learn from bitter experience: excessive demands and strictness towards children with a refined mental organization leads to the exact opposite effect.
Mom changed her behavior, and her son gradually regained a sense of self-confidence, he got rid of the fear of bad grades and internal tightness, and with them stuttering also went away

Shy kids are more creative

They are especially important personal territory, the opportunity to be alone. Alone with themselves, they do not get bored, but play, adapting and adapting to difficult situations, comprehend and experience everything that happened before.

The fantasy world of a shy kid is very rich. And it is with the help of creativity that you can help the crumbs become more self-confident and more sociable. Today, no one would believe that our daughter was once a painfully timid child. She communicates easily, she has many girlfriends and friends, she is always cheerful and calm. How did this transformation happen? We ended up in a kindergarten, where pressure and coercion were not recognized as a method of education. They developed and educated children there with the help of rhythm and melody, fairy tales and songs, drawings and games. The kids experienced overwhelming feelings in joint creativity. As for imagination and fantasy, Nadyusha had no equal here. She got acquainted with the children, saw that there are many things, such as modeling, drawing, writing fairy tales, which she can do no worse, but better than others. This strengthened her faith in her own strength, gave her confidence and calmness. Meeting strangers at a party, she began to share her favorite stories with them, taught them “finger” games and songs. In less than half an hour, the children were already playing together in the game invented by Nadya.

Nothing brings people together like a common cause, common feelings.

For a shy kid, a new team is a big problem. The mother of eight-year-old Ksyusha, who was having a hard time getting used to the new school, decided to help her daughter make reliable friends. If they went to a theater or a museum, they always invited one of their daughter's classmates with them. For birthdays, New Years, Easter and other holidays, they gathered a cheerful children's company, arranged contests, games, a sweet table. Ksyusha began to feel confident among classmates, acquired new girlfriends and a positive communication experience.

Positive experiences are the cure for shyness

Is it necessary to protect the baby from the difficulties of life, if sooner or later he will still face them?
Yes, it's inevitable. The only question is whether he will meet them as a self-confident, balanced, not burdened by complexes person, or a frightened loser, accustomed to his "second-rate".

There is no need to “submit your hands” at every step, you need to create conditions for the development of independence and self-confidence. It is important for parents to give the child a certain freedom, the opportunity to make decisions and solve problems on their own. But it is equally important not to leave him alone with difficulties for which he is not yet ready. Remember: the experience of failures and defeats grounds, the experience of victories and success inspires. Help your baby!

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Photo Legion-Media.ru

What is he, your child?

If the child himself does not worry because of his shyness, and he likes to be alone or just watch others play without making an attempt to join, then stop worrying too. Maybe your child will not have a large number of friends - a few, but who understand him well, are quite enough for him. Your child may not become an artist (although many famous actors admit to being shy), but in business communication he will be able to overtake those who easily come into contact.

Are you shy? Let's support!

Parents may not try to remake the child, but the tactics of total support also often turn out to be wrong. Unnecessarily protecting their child from disturbing contacts, parents take control of the life of a shy son or daughter and do almost everything for them. This is how an underlying desire is manifested so that the child does not grow up, does not leave the family, but continues to walk, buried in his mother's warm side. It is not necessary to force a shy child to communicate, but if you see that he himself is not satisfied with this situation, that he would like to meet and play with the guys, but does not know what to say, or is afraid that they will offend him, drive him away, then.

How to help a shy child?

2. Show how people feel. Dolls, bears and other toys do not change facial expressions - but this happens with the heroes of films and cartoons. While watching, you can ask: “Do you think he is happy or surprised?” The American psychologist Paul Strand noticed that those children who are not good at recognizing the emotions of other people are more shy and insecure because they do not understand how to react. Having learned to identify emotions, children became much more confident in communication.

3. Don't inspire negativity. No need to say to someone in front of a child: “He is shy with us all the time!” Warning other people that the child will not immediately begin to communicate with them or may not say hello, we seem to be ashamed of our child ourselves and are in a hurry to report that it was not we who raised him badly, but he is just like that. By saying this regularly, we instill a certain stereotype of behavior in the child, and he will follow it - like, for example, children who hear “How greedy and evil you are” every day, are more likely to begin to show greed and aggression.

What else can parents do for their child? The simplest and most important thing - do not forget to show your child that you love him just like that, for what he is, and rejoice in his success!

How to liberate a child to form a firm and confident character in him? This question is asked by many parents, because today's children are better at "communicating" with technology than with their peers. It is not always the problem of isolation in the child himself. Sometimes he just does not know how to behave in a given situation, and a simple example or a conversation with your child can solve this problem once and for all.

Communication of the child in the team

The issue of shyness in children is of great importance in today's world, because often parents do not pay attention to the development of their baby as a person. Even from the very beginning of the child's knowledge of the world, when he begins to walk, you need to talk to him, telling the concepts of "good" and "bad". It is very important that already in the first year of life your baby begins to communicate with children. At what it is not only his peers, but also older children. Already at this age, the concept is formed that there is someone similar to him, who understands him more than his parents. You can see how children at the age of one exchange toys, which is the beginning of full-fledged communication. Therefore, the first step to ensure that your child feels free in a team is to teach him to play with other children from childhood.

The next step can be considered a visit to a preschool institution. While this may not seem like a big deal, and many stay-at-home parents feel they are capable of educating their child at home, this is not entirely true. Some knowledge really parents can bring to the child. But in kindergarten there is an indispensable experience of communicating with other children, which forms different emotions in your child. Fear, laughter, joy, happiness, pleasure - all this is perceived by a child in a team in a different way. Already at this stage, children learn to make friends, perform at matinees and fight their fears. And if a mother sends a child to a kindergarten and sees that he misses her very much and does not want to go, then even at the age of three, one can say that the child used to lack communication with children. After all, if he played with the same small ones, now it would be much easier for him. How to liberate a child in a team if he does not want to go to kindergarten? The main thing is not to give up and think that let him grow up. It’s just that the process of adaptation in this case needs to be stretched - bring the child to get acquainted for a time, which is gradually increased.

How to liberate a child in communication? You need to tell your baby that this is a boy or a girl, about his intentions and that he does not need to be afraid. For example, if a mother brought a child to a kindergarten, and they do not want to communicate with other children, then he simply does not know what to do. In this case, it should be explained that "this is a boy who wants to give you a toy or ride with you on a swing." Next, you need to get to know each other and ask your baby to say something about himself. Everything is not difficult enough, you just need to "bring your child up to date."

How to liberate a shy child? There are many different methods of doing this, the main principles of which are a gradual but systematic approach.

The technology of liberated development of Bazarny's children is the work of a well-known child physiologist, which allows you to develop all the feelings and emotions in a child, as well as improve communication with other children. The main elements of such a technique are that in the process of teaching a child, whether at home or in a kindergarten, all means of learning must be present. The child's brain is able to grasp and memorize all images literally on the fly, and in order for such images to be well reproduced in memory and then applied in life, all types of memory must be used. Therefore, for children in the process of their learning, it is imperative to give examples and immediately apply the trained skill. For example, loosening up a shy child should begin with a greeting. You need to tell that if you see a familiar person, then you definitely need to say hello. And the next morning you need to consolidate this skill, for example, by going to your grandmother and greeting her.

The next element of this method of emancipation is the formation of visual and motor images. For example, morning exercises should be performed to music, then all exercises are better remembered, and only pleasant moments of morning exercises are stored in the child’s brain, and not the process of awakening. Speaking about nature or people, such stories must be supported by visual images. For example, when studying the world around you, you need to talk about the sun, clouds, rain, and be sure to show pictures or just take them outside.

Such seemingly trifling moments are very important for a child to understand that the world around him and people are needed in order to know them and not be afraid.

Therefore, the main principle of emancipating a child in a team is the early formation of the habit of learning and playing with other children. This is no less important than the child's daily routine, so parents should not lose sight of this moment.

The child's fear of the public

Often parents are faced with the problem that their child goes on stage and forgets the words. And at first glance it seems ridiculous, but it forms a dominant in the child, which can then cause fear to speak in front of any audience. Indeed, in the future the child must work, and various presentations and the ability to communicate with the public - this may be his main task. Therefore, the formation of emancipation, not only in the team, but also in public, is very important if you see your baby successful in the future.

Often the first performance can be in the kindergarten at a New Year's or other matinee. How to liberate the child before going on stage? Firstly, you need to learn the words of a verse or song well, then the child’s main fear that he will forget something will simply disappear. It is necessary to tell what the child will have, who will listen to him, and be sure to say that mom or dad will also come to see him. After such oral preparation, a rehearsal should be held. Ask the child at home to recite the verse, going to the center of the room for mom and dad. If everything is successful, then you can invite a grandmother or a neighbor, then the rehearsal will already be real. Such measures are usually enough for the performance to be successful. After the matinee, you need to consolidate success, emphasizing that your baby is great and you are proud of him.

Dancing is a very important direction in a child's communication with other children and the formation of healthy habits. Not every child can dance well, but it is very useful for forming the right behavior and eliminating fear of the opposite sex. How to liberate children in dance is the main task for the coach to make the dance successful. To do this, first of all, the child needs to know his partner. If they are friendly and communicate well, then their movements will be more daring. It is also important to praise the child so that he knows that he is doing everything right and well, then he will try even harder. For greater emancipation, you can put someone as an example for the child, for example, a famous ballerina or figure skater who is not afraid to speak to the public.

Such simple tips will help to form not only good habits, but also the character of the child in the future.

How to liberate a child without leaving home? Unfortunately, this does not happen, because every person, including a small child, must communicate with other people in order to form courage and self-confidence. Therefore, be sure to teach your baby to communicate with other children and form healthy habits in him. Do not forget that kindergarten and school are not only learning, but also communication and friendship.

The problem of adult shyness does not arise out of the blue - its roots come from childhood. A shy child does not cause problems with upbringing, and therefore is considered an example to follow, and only over the years this character trait begins to cause concern.

Why is the child shy?

There are several reasons for a baby to become shy and it is not always possible to determine them. The child is shy if:

he has a biological predisposition inherited from shy parents;
the problem is ridiculed in the family when a shy child does not receive support and the situation worsens;
the child was in a difficult stressful situation for him (moving to a new place of residence, changing schools, death of relatives);
him constantly choosing the target of ridicule.

The child is shy - what to do in this situation is not always clear, because a lot depends on the age and specifics of the problem. In any case, if the child is embarrassed to answer in class, or if the problem arose at kindergarten age, there are many tricks that will allow parents to positively influence the situation. It is important to use these methods in parallel with each other and not give up looking for new ways:

Older children can be told about their own shyness, which took place in the life of their parents. If the child understands that he is not alone in his experiences, it will be easier for him to overcome his shyness.
When a child is shy in kindergarten, the chances of making him sociable are much higher. Be with him more often in public places: at exhibitions, at the circus, at children's matinees, so that he has as many opportunities for communication as possible. It is good if the baby gradually “acquires” his own friends with whom he will have common interests.
It is imperative to encourage a shy child for his activity., manifestation of initiative in communication, for the slightest positive shift.
In no situation should a shy child hear any ridicule from parents and household members about shyness, incorrect speech, ignorance of well-known facts.
To correct the situation, it is necessary to use role-playing games with the baby., where situations that scare him the most will be used.

Shy preschool children

When a shy child in kindergarten is embarrassed to recite a poem or dance at a matinee, adults (parents, educators) do their best to correct the situation. But instead, the baby becomes more and more isolated in itself. In the presence of strangers, the child feels even more vulnerable when he hears unpleasant epithets addressed to him. If you find the right approach (and the best way to do this is with the help of a child psychologist), then at the age of 5 years it is quite possible to at least partially overcome excessive modesty.

Shy kids at school

If a child is embarrassed to answer in class, the psychologist's advice includes proper preparation, which includes:

visiting a speech therapist and correcting speech;
for the development of thinking;
positive attitude towards the child in the family;
the right attitude to study;
visiting various hobby groups, maximum contact with peers.

A shy child - how to overcome the fear of communication

Child psychologists know how to teach a child not to be shy, but parents will follow their recommendations, since the baby trusts them the most. The most valuable and simple thing that relatives can give a child is communication. The more time is spent together, when the classes are of genuine interest to both parties, the greater the result can be expected. For the smallest, fairy tales and game situations will be an excellent help in the fight against shyness.

Games for shy preschoolers

There are a variety of games for shy children that will help the baby become more relaxed. You need to use them several times a day, constantly alternating and picking up new ones:

"Compliments", "The best", "Wishes". These games increase children's self-esteem by helping them expand their vocabulary and be able to listen to positive things addressed to them.
"Zoo". Such a game will help the kid transform from a weak bunny into a lion and be able to speak out and fight back against a stronger predator.
“Answer, don’t yawn!”, “Catch the ball.” Such sports are suitable for those who are lost when they pay attention to it.
"Living Toys", "Catch Me". These games are aimed at tactile emancipation.
"Geese and wolf". With the help of active outdoor games, children learn to relieve excess stress.

Fairy tales for shy children

When parents do not know how to wean a child to be shy, then. Worrying about your favorite characters and identifying with them in difficult situations similar to real ones, such activities are best suited for kids aged three to seven years. A wide variety of fairy tales that play with various situations can be found on the worldwide network or come up with your own. The main thing is that they have a simple narrative and a logical conclusion. Shy shy child

Symptoms of shyness in children of different ages. The main causes of occurrence and modern methods of solving this problem. The role of parents in the development and treatment of the syndrome. Tips for a child to get rid of shyness.

The content of the article:

Shyness in a child is a state of mental health and his behavior among others, the main characteristics of which are timidity, indecision, shyness, timidity and stiffness. Most often, it first manifests itself at an early age and gives children such features as modesty, obedience, restraint. This is how masks are created, behind which the essence, the true character of the child is almost invisible, and his formation in society as a person is also hampered.

Reasons for the development of shyness in children

It is known that the child's psyche is not yet a fully formed system. Such imperfection makes the child vulnerable to even the most seemingly petty situations. As a result, the brain generates the activation of many defensive reactions, including shyness, secrecy and uncertainty.

There are several main causes of shyness in children:

genetic predisposition. To date, due to many scientific studies, it has been proven that heredity is quite often the main and only triggering factor in the development of such a condition. The accumulation of various mutations in a number of generations endangers every child born in the future. In this case, one speaks of almost one hundred percent propensity.
natural factors. It is worth mentioning here that each person has a specific type of nervous system. It is believed that it is introverts (secret and withdrawn) who are most susceptible to the development of such a quality as shyness. People with melancholic and phlegmatic types of temperament also become a huge risk group, but their absence also does not exclude the possibility of getting it. Studies say that excessive activity in childhood, which was stopped once, can result in shyness later.
Social environment. This group includes all possible connections of the child with the outside world. Of course, the most important thing is family upbringing. The main problems are increased guardianship or, conversely, remoteness from the spiritual problems of the child. Parents are not able to provide moral comfort and support, deciding everything for him or not being interested in him at all. In this case, shyness is formed persistent and can accompany a lifetime. It happens that the reason is hidden in relation to peers. Excessive aggressiveness or activity of other children can suppress the desire to communicate with them.
Violation of adaptation. Every few years in a child's life, he experiences some kind of adaptive reaction - to crawling, walking, self-care, attending a kindergarten, school and many other institutions. As they arise, positive and negative character traits are formed that instill in the child the ability to resist external influences. If such a process fails, it can lead to the development of insecurity, indecision and shyness.
Somatic pathology. This refers to the presence of diseases of the internal organs, the signs of which can distinguish a child from other children. Most often, this is the presence of any developmental pathologies, traces of burns, frostbite, wounds that left marks on the body. Very often this becomes the cause of excessive attention or even teasing. Also, such a reaction can be traced to children with disabilities. In view of this, in order to limit himself, the baby closes, moves away from others, talks less and prefers to be alone most of the time.
Wrong upbringing. Parental influence primarily shapes the child as a separate person. If it turns out to be too much, excessive guardianship leads to complete lack of independence and indecision in the future. Also, if maternal guardianship becomes more rigid and demands on children exceed their capabilities, an inferiority complex arises. Such a child withdraws and considers himself not good enough for manifestation in society.

The main symptoms of shyness in a child

It is necessary to start with the fact that a shy child really suffers. After all, this state guides him in all life situations. He cannot feel comfortable anywhere and with anyone. A constant feeling of insecurity and cowardice haunts every day. Unfortunately, many parents, trying to help, only exacerbate the situation. After all, the first thing they decide to remove the child from decision-making and do it on their own. As a result, even more inferiority and insecurity falls on him.

To know how to help your child overcome shyness, you need to learn a few signs of it. Among them:

Note! Very often, the listed signs are not considered alarming and are mistaken for the whims of the child, punishing him for this. As a result of such treatment, the condition of the baby is even more oppressed.

How to deal with shyness in a child

To achieve any result, it is necessary to understand that shyness is still not just a character trait, but a pathological condition. Only after realizing this, you can start looking for ways to solve this problem. It is worth looking for them immediately, because every day lived with such thinking leads the child to an independent way out of the situation. Often this is leaving home or even attempting suicide. Correction of shyness in children requires an integrated approach involving both themselves and the environment.

Mom and dad are the first and most important advisers in a child's life. It is from them that he writes off most of the manners of behavior, and they also make a correction of his own. It is very important that parents monitor the psycho-emotional state of children and help them adapt to new stages in life. This is especially necessary if their child is experiencing difficulties in communicating and realizing himself as a person.

To know how to overcome shyness in a child, you need to follow these tips:

Do not scold. Shouting will provoke even more secrecy and shyness. Children will feel guilty for such behavior and will not come to their parents for advice or help in the future. This will only aggravate the situation and narrow the circle of trust to its complete absence. Such behavior will force the child to withdraw into himself, and it will be much more difficult to get him out of this state.
Interested in personal life. Children in today's world are little adults. Do not think that there is nothing to talk about with them. These little people contain in themselves a huge inner world of experiences and worries that they cannot yet cope with alone. You need to find the right approach to the child, ask what he thinks about, why he does this or that action, with whom he is friends and what he is sad about. It is very important. If you manage to become not only a parent, but also a friend to him, you can save him from the problem on your own.
be able to listen. Children need to be noticed. Due to the hustle and bustle of everyday life, there is often not enough time for them. And while we imitate attentiveness, children show and tell us about all their troubles. But, unfortunately, sooner or later they get tired of doing it. They are offended, withdraw into themselves and will no longer make contact. Therefore, every word spoken by children has its own meaning. You need to be able not only to listen to them, but also to hear them in order to have time to notice any problems and correct them.
Support. Defeats, like victories, must be accepted. Children don't always know how to do it right. Often, after only one failure, they never dare to try again. Parental duty obliges to explain to the child that he is loved the way he is, and perfection is not required from him. You need to teach him to slowly and confidently walk towards his goal, despite previous defeats.
Become an example. Children are a reflection of their parents. No one's features will be as reflected in them as the features of the mother in girls and the father in boys. Excessive demands can lead to feelings of shame. The child will be ashamed of his mistakes and worry that he did not live up to expectations. Therefore, parents, first of all, need to be able to admit their mistakes and show by personal example that this is not scary, but only stimulates further actions.
Encourage. In fact, all children deserve the attention of their parents, and these in particular. Among the best ways are trips to cafes, amusement parks, performances. Various comedic performances will help the child learn to perceive himself and not pass off features as oddities. Spending time in familiar circles has an overall positive effect on children.

And yet, it is better to solve the problem from the inside. Overcoming shyness in children belongs to them. No matter how hard others try, they must take the most important step themselves. After all, until the child himself begins to change his attitude to reality, all attempts to help from the outside will be in vain.

To make it easier for him to do this, you can offer a few of the following tips:

Sure. Even if fear does not leave, it is always necessary to forbid it to express itself in any way outwardly. To make it easier, you need to straighten your shoulders, raise your chin, take a deep breath. This will help to show others that there is no panic and in front of them is a completely self-confident person.
Smile. This is a win-win option to gain the trust of an opponent. There is absolutely no need to portray panicked laughter or a fit of laughter. A slight smile on the face will be enough, which will relax and will subsequently predispose to the rest of the children.
Look into your eyes. This is the most difficult, but the most effective remedy. It is believed that a person who is able to keep his eyes on his interlocutor has an advantage over him. Maintaining eye contact also helps keep the conversation going, and the person feels more confident and relaxed.
Actively engage in dialogue. Don't be afraid to ask and be willing to answer questions. It is best to start with short verbal skirmishes, and over time it will be possible to join any conversation without difficulty. It is also important to show others your interest in what is happening.
Attend different events. Not the easiest task, but of great importance. Indeed, in a wide circle, a shy child can initially only listen and gradually join the team. Thus, too much attention will not be attracted to him, and he will be able to open up to others on his own. Suitable for children's birthdays, holidays.
Finding a hobby. Trying to find yourself is very important. To do this, you can enroll in various circles on creativity, needlework or with a sports bias. In most cases, a favorite thing will soon appear in which you can prove yourself and get a lot of pleasure from it. One of the best options is a theater studio. In such a place, you can develop a huge number of positive qualities, as well as get rid of shyness, indecision and shyness.
Fight fears. To do this, you need to decide to do what scares you the most, to dare difficult actions and step over your fear. This always brings many difficulties and obstacles. But after the elimination of at least one fear, a feeling of pride and joy for oneself comes.
Accept shyness. Self-denial destroys the lives of many people. Problems are easier to deal with if they are not afraid and accepted. You need to realize your special trait and not be ashamed of it, but transform, change or get rid of it. As soon as such a feeling comes, it will bring relief in the emotional sphere.
Get help. Our loved ones exist to help us. Independence is good only where it can destroy the problem. In this case, taking advice from the outside will be the right decision and will help you quickly adapt to the incomprehensible. Sometimes these are parents, friends, and maybe completely strangers who have found a common language.
Workout. In most cases, this approach helps the fastest. Physical exercises not only have a general strengthening effect on the body, but also affirm the position of such a child among the rest (especially if it is a boy). There are new skills and opportunities that can only be admired.

How to overcome shyness in children - look at the video:

Shyness in a child is a problem that occurs quite often and can lead to serious consequences. Most of the responsibility for children with this trait belongs to parents, who should not only be aware of it, but also be able to prevent it. The methods of getting rid of this quality are also quite simple and do not require the use of additional methods of treatment if used on time. Therefore, keeping an eye on children is the most important and useful advice in this case.