Matchmaking in our days wedding magazine. Successful matchmaking by the bride - script and main rules

Modern guys and girls are increasingly independently deciding to tie the knot in their lives. However, many want to keep all the traditions of matchmaking. How to marry a bride? What do the groom and his parents need for this? Let's talk!

How was the wedding before the bride?

First of all, the matchmaking was preceded by the bride. In addition to the groom, his relatives came to the bride's house - an older brother, uncle or godfather. The girl needed to demonstrate her talents, and if the groom liked her, matchmakers soon went to her house.

During the matchmaking, the girl should have been silent, demonstrating her skills and outfits. If the bridegroom liked the bride, he drank a glass of water or honey presented by her relatives. If not, he just put the glass to his lips and left it full. The girl, in turn, could endure a pumpkin to the unkind groom, which meant refusal.

Modern traditions of matchmaking of the bride

Nowadays . In large cities, the whole ceremony most often comes down to a joint dinner of parents and announcing their intentions to the young. But if the young people want to keep the traditions, then the groom and his parents need to prepare in advance:

1. First of all, you should discuss in advance the date and time of the visit that is convenient for the parents.
2. The future mother-in-law and father-in-law should be appeased by the guy with a gift. For the mother of a girl, most often they choose a bouquet of flowers, but another gift is also suitable: beautiful dishes or decor items, sweets. The groom can give the girl's father a bottle of elite alcohol, cigars, a book. You can also check with the bride what her father is fond of (fishing, collecting, hunting), and make an appropriate gift.
3. The groom must give flowers and a symbolic gift to the bride.
4. In the role of matchmakers can be not only the guy's parents, but also the godfather or a close relative. A male matchmaker must be married, but a matchmaker can be unmarried.
5. Matchmakers traditionally bring a symbolic gift to the girl's parents: sweets, fruits, wine.
6. The mother of the groom can give the future daughter-in-law some expensive gift. It can be jewelry or a valuable item for the family.
7. Matchmakers to the bride's parents can also present a symbolic gift - an icon, beautiful candles, a charm.

The groom and parents must be neatly dressed. If there are more girls in the family, for example, sisters, you need to take care of the flowers for them.

In modern society, it is not customary to learn long poetic speeches, but traditionally, matchmakers start a conversation with someone familiar to everyone: “you have a product, we have a merchant.” This is followed by a story that a beautiful girl lives in this house, with whom a young, generous, strong and wealthy groom is boundlessly in love, whose hands came to ask for matchmakers. The bride's parents can respond impromptu, but it is better for the groom's matchmakers to prepare a speech in advance.

While the parents are praising the bride and groom, reporting on their education, work, success and other achievements, the young are supposed to be embarrassedly silent. Previously, the bride had to change clothes at least five times in order to demonstrate the wealth of her family and her beauty. Today, this tradition has lost its relevance -. Sometimes, while the auction is going on, the girl hides in her room.

The bride's parents prepare treats for the matchmakers and at the table discuss the young people's plans for life, their intentions, attitude towards children, etc.

Matchmaking ends with a decision - whether the girl's parents will give their daughter in marriage to the groom. After their consent, the date of the bridegroom is negotiated - when the girl's parents go to the groom's house. It already stipulates the holding of the wedding, the number of guests, the distribution of expenses.

Matchmaking traditions

Particular attention has always been paid to the observance of customs, so if traditional matchmaking is planned, the information will be useful:

• it is not customary to marry on the thirteenth, as well as on Fridays and Wednesdays;
• most often they go to woo on the 3rd, 5th, 7th or 9th of any month;
• traditionally, the guy had to run from the car to the house as soon as possible - this displayed his love and protected him from the evil eye;
• matchmakers entered the house after the third invitation. At the same time, it was customary for the first two to slam the door loudly;
• guests were seated in a certain way with their backs to the door, which spoke of their intentions;
• at first they started talking about something distant, and then they got down to business;
• matchmakers examined the girl in order to find flaws and reduce the ransom. They could even examine the condition of her teeth, so the bride's parents and the girl herself tried to prepare for the ceremony as carefully as possible. Now, of course, no one does such an inspection, but in a joking way, matchmakers can ask a girl to demonstrate what she can do: cook dinner, sweep, wash dishes, iron a shirt;
• the bride's parents were bargaining, after which the girl's father decided whether to marry her to this groom. The second word belonged to the mother, the third to the brother of the bride.

If now 99% of matchmaking ceremonies end with the consent of the parents to the wedding, then before the matchmakers could go for years while the bride's father chose the most worthy candidate for his daughter.

Traditionally, the girl's parents did not prepare gifts for matchmakers. In modern society, return gifts are a sign of respect, so you should prepare in advance. What to give, it is better to check with the guy. It can be home charms, wine, a basket of fruits, a home flower, kitchen utensils.

To turn matchmaking into a real holiday, you can invite professional matchmakers who, according to a special scenario, will arrange a fun and interesting ceremony.

IN modern world the tradition of matchmaking does not play an important role in the marriage of lovers. But before, not a single wedding took place without this ceremony. In the old days, matchmaking was the main and most important part of the betrothal of hearts in love. And today, the parents of the couple for the first time can meet and get acquainted only at the wedding. In Rus', for the ceremony of courtship, the groom chose a certain date when he could ask for blessings from the parents of his chosen one. Now, no one pays attention to this nuance, and the matchmaking day is mainly scheduled for Saturday or Sunday.

Today, the tradition of matchmaking has an exclusively symbolic meaning, but many couples are trying to revive this ancient custom.

What it is?

Matchmaking is a tradition that originates from the times of ancient Rus'. According to custom, the groom, together with the matchmakers, must make an official proposal to the girl, having initially received the consent of her parents for marriage. This procedure takes place in an intimate setting, among relatives on both sides, without the intervention of outsiders.

The matchmakers themselves are relatives from the side of the bride and groom, who are their representatives at this event. In the old days, only the closest relatives were appointed matchmakers, it could be the guy's blood parents or godparents. In the most extreme case, professional matchmakers were invited to play the role of matchmakers. The main task of matchmakers from the side of the groom was to give their ward from the best side. But besides this, they needed to find out more information about the bride's family, about the dowry and personal qualities that the girl could keep silent about.

Modern matchmaking consists in the appearance of the groom in front of the bride's parents with a request to allow the young people to get married. The decision itself, of course, is made by lovers, but in order to present yourself to the bride's relatives on the positive side, it is best to use traditions. By the way, nowadays the groom does not have to come to the relatives of his beloved girl with matchmakers. After some time, the bride's relatives go to the groom's house to make an official acquaintance with the newly-made relatives.

Traditions

In ancient times, special attention was paid to matchmaking. This tradition was the most serious procedure than the preparation for the conclusion of a marriage union. Basically, the ceremony was practiced by the groom, but there were cases when matchmakers went to the guy on behalf of their daughter.

According to the rules of matchmaking, the young man reported that he had found a chosen one for himself and wanted to marry her. In some cases, the groom's parents themselves chose a suitable bride for their son, explaining that it was time for the guy to start a family. If the chosen bride is to the liking of the groom, then the task of the matchmakers is to collect detailed information about the girl herself, about her family, about what dowry they are entitled to and much more.

When the choice was approved, representatives of the groom went to the girl's house. If the parents did not approve of the choice of their son, they went for advice to experienced matchmakers. To solve this issue, highly qualified matchmakers offered several unmarried representatives of the fair sex, among whom you can make a choice.

The matchmaking process itself took into account all the subtleties and nuances. The matchmakers went to the house of the bride, waiting for the sunset. And here you should immediately pay attention to the fact that while walking to the house of the chosen one, the representatives of the groom are not supposed to see anyone, let alone talk. Otherwise, the matchmaking procedure can be jinxed. Before crossing the threshold of the house of the future bride, the matchmaker is obliged to lean against the doorway.

According to Russian traditions, matchmaking had to be held on special days of the calendar. For example, during the fasting period, it is strictly forbidden to ask for blessings from the relatives of your beloved. The number 13, from which it breathes negative energy, also belongs to the category of forbidden days. After the representatives of the groom crossed the threshold of his beloved's house, the most interesting began. The conversation about the upcoming wedding began from afar. To do this, it was required to pronounce the key phrase: "you have a product, we have a merchant." Although such phrases in Rus' could not be counted, this formulation was the most popular.

In the negotiations between future relatives, the girl did not take any part. She had to be silent, sometimes change her robes, while putting on her best. Yes, and the hairstyle was changed with each dressing. Sometimes the matchmakers had a desire to see the master skills of the bride, for example, how she knits or weaves lace. In this case, the girl presented her own work to the public.

In the process of communication, relatives of both sides tried to tell and describe only the most positive qualities of their wards. This list included not only spiritual qualities, but also the material part. By the way, the material responsibility for the well-being of the future family rested entirely on the men's shoulders. The girl was responsible for the tranquility, beauty, warmth, cleanliness and comfort of the family nest.

To give a positive answer at the first visit of the matchmakers was considered a reckless act. Although there are some exceptions, for example, if the girl was not from a wealthy family, or if her age crossed the boundaries of acceptable marriage. In these cases, waiting for the second visit of the matchmakers was a stupid decision. But for girls from wealthy families, it is extremely difficult to choose a suitable candidate. The opinion of a daughter may not agree with the opinion of her parents, and constant visits to matchmakers from different men often led to such disagreements.

After a positive decision is made, the bride's relatives pay the groom a return visit. They carefully examine the mansions of the future son-in-law in order to understand in what conditions their daughter will move after the marriage. And only after that, conversations about the wedding itself begin. This custom in Russian was called “going to look around”, where the real estate of the future son-in-law was mainly considered.

The positive decision of the bride's parents was expressed in different forms. For example, if they accepted a loaf brought by matchmakers. In fact, in Rus' there were many ways to express your consent or refusal without uttering words. The groom's relatives came to woo the bride, expecting a positive response, but did not always get what they wanted. In case of refusal, the bride's parents gave the matchmakers a watermelon or a pumpkin. Sometimes they were just thrown out the door in a rude manner. After these actions, the bride and her relatives were notorious.

After the entire matchmaking ceremony, the betrothed girl acquires the official status of a bride. No one, under any circumstances, could give up on her, let alone try to woo her. Although history is rich in many cases when an engaged girl ran away with her real lover from the crown from the hated groom chosen by her parents.

How is marriage going today?

Modern matchmaking is interpreted somewhat more simply, especially for residents of large cities. The groom's matchmakers, or rather, his close relatives, very rarely can use the traditional speeches of the custom, and even more so they do not arrange mass events with theatrical scenes. Only one phrase has survived to this day: “you have a product, we have a merchant.” And yet, modern matchmaking is somewhat reminiscent of an old rite.

Before going to the house of his future wife, the man acquires several bouquets of beautiful flowers, which he hands over to his mother, sister and grandmother upon arrival. For the bride herself, the groom can order a special flower arrangement. Matchmakers who are relatives of the groom should have special gifts with them, for example, sweets in beautiful packaging or a fruit basket and an elite alcoholic drink. In addition, the groom or his mother should give the bride a special present. It can be a necklace or a family heirloom of the future husband's family.

Both parents of the girl need to be given something special that will leave a pleasant impression and be remembered for a long time. This nuance is best agreed in advance with the bride. A photo album, home amulet, handmade candles and other similar items can be suitable as a gift. The rules of matchmaking say that after the meeting of the matchmakers, they should be taken to the set table and at the meal to discuss the main reason for the meeting - the wedding.

What to take with you?

Analyzing the nuances of modern matchmaking, first of all, a festive loaf comes to mind. Matchmakers from the groom's side always carry pastries laid on an embroidered towel in their hands. This sign invites the bride to move into the groom's house. It should be noted that the loaf, like a special guest of the holiday, is always present at the event and is eaten at the very end. According to another tradition, future relatives, namely the matchmakers of the groom and the parents of the bride, are tied with towels. But not everyone uses this rite.

In modern times, the groom has not ceased to go to the matchmaking empty-handed. Flowers for the ladies, gift souvenirs for the bride's relatives and nice little things for any occasion must be present in the guy's pocket. In order for the holiday to be a success, the scenario of the event should be prepared in advance and worked out in detail. An experienced matchmaker will help draw up a detailed plan of action. In this case, modern matchmaking will be held at the highest level.

What should I say?

Before going to the matchmaking, the groom's relatives must prepare special words for the bride's parents. They must introduce themselves, the groom and clarify the essence of their visit. After the welcoming stage, the guests go to the house, where they start talking about the upcoming celebration. Understanding the seriousness of the event, matchmakers should conduct any conversations about the wedding smoothly, but at the same time not give specifics. Veiled phrases will lead to a greater understanding of future relatives.

In fact, conversations as hints originate from the time of Rus'. So in case of refusal of the bride's parents, the groom was not so offended. And this decision will not hit the reputation of the girl in any way. Since matchmaking has been an indispensable element of the wedding ceremony, Only a few phrases have survived to this day, for example:

• “the matchmaker does not travel with the truth”;
• “to the matchmaker the first cup and the first stick”;
• “You will start to wonder how to give the girl away.”

Moreover, in each phrase there is a hidden meaning. According to traditions, in case of doubts of the bride's parents, the words “thank you for love, matchmaker, but now we don’t want to give the girl away” were uttered.

How to behave?

Each participant in the matchmaking has its own role. The main part of the work lies on the shoulders of the matchmakers from the side of the groom. They should be cheerful and set to a positive outcome. In no case should matchmakers talk about the bride or her relatives incriminating facts.

Having entered the girl's house, the bride's parents invite the matchmakers to the laid table. In addition to masterpieces of culinary art, there are strong drinks on the table. Since ancient times, the tradition of matchmaking has been accompanied by the belief that matchmakers should not give up alcohol, thereby confirming the fact of respect and trust in the bride. The main thing is without fanaticism, so as not to spoil the holiday for lovers.

The groom himself should behave with restraint, he should not contradict, and even more so, demand something. The only thing he needs is to win the favor of the bride's parents, thereby obtaining their blessing. The bride, in turn, should sit silently and only watch the entire procession. Previously, the custom required the constant dressing of the girl in the most beautiful outfits, today you can refuse this.

People always strive to create a family. After all, being with those who love and appreciate you “as you are” is very pleasant and comfortable. But does everyone think that the birth of a family, in fact, is not only a holiday, but a whole ritual. Huge, multi-stage and very important. During its implementation, a new kind of energy base is being laid. The more fun it is, the more strength the family will receive. And the first is matchmaking, the customs of which are very diverse and interesting. Let's break them down piece by piece. We must begin with the fact that our ancestors greatly respected matchmaking. The customs of its holding varied depending on the territory in which people lived, their beliefs.

Everyone brought something of their own, special, original to them. Everything can be used. The point is not to exactly copy, for example, the Russian custom of matchmaking. The point is to organize an interesting event that will emotionally involve and unite the participants. This is how the goal is achieved: to fill the nascent family with energy. In some villages, they prepared a table, received special guests - matchmakers. In others, they arranged trials for the groom. In the third, they were limited to the blessing of their parents. Rituals in a broad sense gave the young a guarantee that the older generation would support them and help them in case of need. In principle, now the inner meaning of the ceremony has not changed. It is known that it is difficult for young people to stand up on their own. If not material, then moral “support” they will definitely need. The use of traditional rites has another side: chaste. More about her.

Matchmaking: customs filled with sacred meaning

If you want to beautifully and interestingly organize the entire wedding ceremony, then it is recommended to be guided by the worldview of the founders of customs. According to them, matchmaking was a chaste, respectful ritual.

This is a demonstration of the groom's readiness to obey the head of the bride's clan. Although the girl went to his family, the connections remained. The young man needed to "prove" to the bride's parents that he was a respectable and serious person. In addition, Russian courtship customs included elements of healthy humor. For example, in some southern villages the groom was supposed to come to the bride's father with a whip. He offered to beat himself, but give his daughter away. I must say that most of the marriages were concluded on the basis of mercantile considerations. Parents sought to better attach their daughter. An unsuitable groom was refused. This was done in a respectful manner. It was customary to thank the matchmakers for the honor rendered and explain the refusal, for example, by the youth of the girl.

What did a young man who wanted to marry

Entire rituals were invented and sacredly observed everywhere. The first thing that the young man had to do was to get the consent of his relatives for marriage. Only after this did the marriage itself take place. Customs ordered him to come to the head of the clan and tell about his chosen one. It was usually reported who she was, where she lived, what her relatives were. Most often, the young man was interested in the appearance and attractiveness of the young woman. And relatives conducted a whole “investigation”, finding out whether the girl was worthy of such an honor. When there was a consensus, matchmakers were chosen. It was a very responsible role. Yes, and nothing has changed. The good fellow rarely went to offer himself as a groom (although this happened). Most of the time it was his family members. One has a godfather or mother, the other has an older brother, and so on.

The young man was also present at the ceremony, but he tried not to enter into conversations so as not to spoil the matchmaking.

groom's habits

Trustees from the side of the man were obliged to demonstrate appearance and back up with words his reliability and worthiness. This was done (and is still accepted) very simply. It is necessary to dress beautifully, even richly, if you go to matchmaking. Customs on the part of the groom involve gifts to the bride's relatives. Today people are limited to bouquets, sweets. In principle, this is much better than presenting expensive, unnecessary things. So, going to "get" the bride, be sure to buy two bouquets. One is for the mother, the other is for the girl. They don't have to be the same. It is customary to give young women white flowers. And her parent is a different color. For example, burgundy will show respect. A bouquet made up of different flowers will show that you appreciate the versatility of her personality. Just don't mix it up and don't overdo it. The focus should be on the girl. You are not going to the anniversary, but to the bride's matchmaking. Customs suggest that you should not enter into conversations when you go to her house. This is considered bad luck.

What not to do matchmakers

Many people are not currently interested in folk traditions, they are frivolous about the process of creating a new kind. Nevertheless, it is noticed that the behavior of the groom's representatives affects the future of the family. It is advisable to observe the minimum set of prohibitions when the bride is being matched. Customs suggest that it is necessary to give up alcohol. The matchmaker, famously raising glasses of vodka one after another, could call grief on future children. It was believed that they might become addicted to alcohol. If the matchmaker sat down as soon as she entered the rooms, then the kids did not get up for a long time, they started walking late. The entire ceremony (until the agreement) had to be done on the feet.

What to say, how to behave to matchmakers

There are no special rules here. Many are interested in matchmaking according to Russian customs. They even try to write a script. In fact, the whole ceremony goes quickly and unpretentiously. Matchmakers (groom) come, handing bouquets to the bride and her mother. The girl is then removed from the premises. And the conversation begins. The first matchmakers act. They say that there is a good fellow, handsome in appearance, dexterous and skillful (and so on according to the list). And you have a dove waiting for her dove. So why can't we manage things, not unite two young souls? The following is the answer of the girl's relatives. Approximately this is how matchmaking goes according to Russian customs. No script required. Only if you yourself want to turn the meeting into a firework of pleasure. Then you can come up with contests and quizzes. After the main words are spoken, everyone sits down to drink tea.

How to behave as bridesmaids

The girl's parents, if they liked the groom, were obliged to close the door on a hook. This was done so that a casual visitor would not jinx the whole thing. That is, translating into modern language, we can say that a certain mystery surrounded the matchmaking on the part of the bride. Customs suggested that her relatives for this short time "isolate themselves" from the rest of the world. That is how it should be done. Do not invite other guests. Collusion must be carried out in an intimate setting, only among trusted persons. If someone accidentally runs into the light, boldly and ruthlessly see them out. Alien energy to the new family is useless. Even to protect against the evil eye, it was recommended to touch the leg of the table. This is done so that "happiness does not run away."

How to respond to an offer

It is advisable for the bride's parents to adapt to the style of the matchmakers. So the holiday will turn out to be more fun, and communication will go more comfortably. If they began to praise their fiancé, then do not lag behind, present the girl to heaven. Keep in mind that you may be asked tricky questions about a girl if you come across those who have truly studied matchmaking. Customs (script) in some areas involves praising their "goods" and blaspheming "alien". For example, they will ask if the bride is not oblique, is she not weak with her legs? There are matchmakers who get personal, trying to embarrass their parents. You should laugh it off, but quickly give an answer. And it can be straight or half. If the groom likes, then the girl is called and the father joins their hands. Sometimes parents need time for "family council". That's exactly what they say. This is where the "official part" ends.

What then?

The described information applies only to the first stage. It turns out that this is not the end of the matter. After all, the meaning of the ritual is to bring relatives closer together. This is what marriage is about. Traditions and customs suggest a second meeting in the same composition. The bride's side is already inviting her. A feast is being prepared with all sorts of delicacies, the date of the visit is determined. Parents of the young, close family members gather together. The bride is also present at this meeting. It discusses all sorts of nuances of arranging the life of a new “cell of society”. For example, where to live, who will provide what, and so on. The party itself is held in order to bring together future grandparents, who will now have many joint joys and problems. Here you can already drink a glass to “open the soul”. It is not forbidden to show off your talents. In general, future relatives behave more naturally than during matchmaking.

A few more clues

City people usually do not delve into all sorts of jokes that are known to everyone in the countryside. However, it must be remembered that the bride, who decided to refuse collusion (already after the matchmaking), smears the gates with tar. And now you can get such an unpleasant "gift". They will come and stain the front door with an unpleasantly smelling substance. Not
be surprised. The refusal of the groom from the girl was considered a terrible insult. For a long time no one made such a matchmaker. Families became terrible enemies. Today, of course, everything is easier. Young people should keep in mind that the change of decision will have to be explained not only to the beloved, but also to his family. After collusion, many people will be involved in your personal issues, who will begin to develop their relationship. This should be understood and not "chopped off the shoulder" when you accidentally quarrel. Matchmaking was not held on Fridays (and Wednesdays). These were traditional fasting days. Going on a hike for a bride at that time was considered a bad omen.

Engagement

In Rus', the young were considered the bride and groom after an agreement, when the girl's relatives agreed to the marriage. Today it is customary to hold a special holiday, confirming this. They called him in a foreign way - engagement. It differs from collusion only by an additional feast. There is nothing bad in it. The closest people are invited to the celebration. They communicate, find “common ground”. In addition, the couple's parents get an additional opportunity to discuss the future wedding and other important issues in a more relaxed, informal setting. While young people are having fun, you can talk heart to heart, set priorities, acquaint each other with fundamental issues and views. I must say, the more often the older generation communicates, the better the newly-made family lives later. There is no need to "resolve" the inevitable disagreements for the "old people". They will cope on their own when they begin to feel close to each other.

If parents live far away

It happens that young people decide to get married, and their relatives are thousands of kilometers apart. Now this is not a particular problem. You can arrange remote matchmaking. For example, using Skype. With his help, traditions will not be broken. Matchmakers will talk, everything will be discussed. And we will meet at the wedding.

In ancient times, most marriages took place by prior arrangement of the parents. Matchmaking was an interesting and beautiful custom in which the groom was introduced to the bride, describing the virtues and best qualities. Now young people choose their own mate, but the tradition of wooing the betrothed has remained. Learn the bride's matchmaking ceremony: a detailed scenario of fun games, contests, rituals, this will help you have a fun holiday.

The groom informs his parents about his desire to marry

Previously, the noisy ceremony of matchmaking went like this: matchmakers with the groom came to the gates of the bride’s house, they opened the doors and invited them into the room where the girl’s parents and closest relatives (sister, brother, grandparents) were sitting. It was the task of the matchmakers to present the man in the best light. If he was rich, it was necessary to praise his merchants and financial capabilities, and when a man was hard-working, his golden hands “presented” him. The rite itself began with the words that the matchmakers said: "You have a product - we have a merchant."

After that, the bride came out, dressed in her most beautiful dress, and the matchmakers asked the question: “Is the girl skillful?” The girl took a broom, pretended to sweep the floor, then gave a home-made thing to her future spouse. Everything was done in a half-joking manner. At the matchmaking, dowry negotiations were also held, the wedding was discussed. Despite the attitude of the parents towards the betrothed, during the first matchmaking, he, as a rule, was refused.

The modern ceremony of matchmaking is the arrival of the betrothed to the bride's house with a bouquet of flowers for the future mother-in-law and expensive alcohol for the father-in-law. There he announces his desire to marry, asks for blessings for marriage with their daughter. As a rule, the visit is of an official nature, but nothing prevents making a merry performance out of matchmaking, where you can invite other relatives and friends.

Choice of matchmaker or matchmaker

The matchmaker and matchmaker who will participate in the ceremony must be on the side of the betrothed, although this rule is often violated. If someone from the bride's relatives (for example, brother, uncle, sister) is well acquainted with the future son-in-law, they can represent the man themselves. It's good if everyone has similar costumes that correspond to the concept of the scenario.

Requisites for the ceremony

The props depend on the matchmaking scenario. These can be musical instruments, various gifts for the mother and father of the bride, towels, balls of thread, feathers, trees, a hammer, pillows. Matchmakers, as a sign of generosity, financial solvency of the betrothed, can roll a barrel of overseas wine, which they will immediately open for a feast.

Sending matchmakers

With this, the rite of matchmaking begins - “the first cup and the first stick to the matchmaker.” Before entering, they bow. Only after crossing the threshold, the matchmakers should, with the help of hints, sayings, approach the main topic of the conversation - the future engagement. Further, the matchmaking scenario provides for songs, games, praise of the betrothed. Then the hosts set the table, treat the guests with bread and salt, have dinner, when a certain hour comes - they give their answer.

A good example of how the matchmaking ceremony is carried out, see the video:

Bidding for a bride

Before the feast in Rus', there was always a bargaining. Usually the bride was not present at this stage of the matchmaking in order to avoid delicate moments: discussions of the dowry, the financial condition of the groom, the distribution of expenses for the wedding. In passing they could touch on the question of a possible date for the event. The bride was called only after the auction. As part of a modern celebration, bargaining can also be held, but playful.

feast

A feast is not only the consumption of food, drinking vodka, wine, but also the time when fun games, contests, and rituals are held according to the scenario. During it, the bride's mother and father, as a rule, agree to the union, after which the groom puts a golden ring on the girl's finger and the engagement is considered to have taken place. Then the relatives kiss the newlyweds, and the guests open champagne to celebrate the start given to the new family.

Tests of the bride

Tests for the bride are comic. She needs to show her economic abilities. The groom's side asks the girl to give a taste of the dish she has prepared, demonstrate embroidery, and sweep the floor.

cutting loaf

According to the old Russian scenario of matchmaking, the betrothed must bring a loaf to the bride. By accepting this gift, she consents to the engagement. Then the future spouses take a knife and cut the product in half - if they manage to cut the loaf the first time without taking away the tool, this becomes a sign that their life together will be happy. Instead of a loaf, the modern version allows the use of a delicious cake. How the loaf looks like for the matchmaking ceremony, see the photo below.

groom's speech

The scenario of matchmaking necessarily provides for the speech of the groom. After friends or relatives have presented the man in the best light, it's time for the betrothed to "cast" a vote. He must tell the bride's parents about his love for their daughter, talk about how he will protect her, respect, appreciate.

Presentation of gifts, what to give for matchmaking

Matchmaking gifts can be different: flowers, fruit baskets, chocolate cake, jewelry for the girl and her mother (the future mother-in-law can give the bride beads or a chain), alcohol, souvenirs. The main gift is an engagement ring.

honey drinking

To prove his love for the bride, according to the scenario, such a ceremony is performed: the narrowed to the bottom must drink a glass of honey.

marriage agreement

Previously, this part of the script included a discussion of financial issues - the amount of dowry, the cost of the celebration, the material security of the groom as a whole. The modern rite allows you to skip this step.

Competitions for the rite

Funny contests will be a great addition to the noisy scenario of the matchmaking ceremony. Here are some examples of competitions for the rite.

Question answer

This game will show how well the future husband knows the bride. He is preparing several questions that need to be answered correctly (the favorite dish of the future wife, color, date of birth, angel's day).

For parents

To make the matchmaking fun not only for the young, but also for the parents, a competitive scenario is used.

The fathers of the lovers leave the room, and the presenter asks the mothers questions: how long was their braid during the wedding, how many guests were present, where they met.

Then men are called who must answer the same questions.

The winner is the pair that matches all or most of the answers.

wedding song

The scenario of this competition is as follows: guests sing excerpts of wedding songs. The winner is the participant who sings more songs than the rest.

Signs

The holiday was held after sunset, so that unclean forces could not enter the house. It was believed that the marriage would be happy if, after the departure of the groom, all sharp objects were connected. After the guests left the house, the bride needed to cry a lot in order to lead a tearless life after the marriage.

Matchmaking is an ancient tradition and a real theatrical performance. The ritual can be an interesting step in preparing for the wedding, an opportunity for two families to get closer.

Will you celebrate the wedding? What ideas did you like? Tell in the comments.

Today we all came together
To you and to the future bride,
To ask her hand
Marry our son!
Our groom is handsome, successful,
Loves your daughter, of course
He is without further ado
I'm ready to give her happiness
The rest is nonsense:
Just say "yes" to the bride!
Well, do not pull:
Will you give consent?

Meet the matchmakers
Open up the gate
Us your girl
Marry hunting.

Our groom is handsome
Which ones to look for
This is impossible
Release from hands.

For your beauty
Mountains will turn
According to her
Rivers will turn back.

Let only "Yes!"
The bride will answer
The happiest
Be in the light.

We have a groom, you have a bride,
And we came to marry you,
It's great that our children
They took each other and found
Let's discuss the wedding
And let's meet soon
We have a lot of trouble ahead of us,
But it's more fun to live with them!

We have a wonderful guy!
He tried not in vain.
I was looking for a beautiful girl.
He invited us to come with him.
We have to make a couple
Happy to be alive.
We all know that our merchant
Can give a girl
Both care and love.
Let the matchmakers wait for bread and salt!

We came to you for a girl
Smart, kind and beautiful,
We have a good groom
Life will make her happy.

We wish our couple
In understanding, live together
And put a stamp in your passport
Be sure to hurry.

Let the decision that today
Fixed two families
Will be the start of a new life
Joy, great love.

We really need your product
Without him, the merchant does not
Without it, he often grieve,
Goes to sleep on an empty stomach!

Do you agree? Well, fine:
You became matchmakers to us,
Let's get married properly
We cook here and there!

You have taken an important step
And soon you will be a family!
We wish you only the best,
Love mutual and great!

May life be full of prosperity
So that you do not need anything!
We wish you everything in order,
So that you play the wedding brightly!

Our fiancé is a feast for the eyes,
Kind, smart, hardworking,
The best without a doubt
There is no better boy in the world.

You will live with him like a queen,
Only swim in gold
Choose our prince
So that you don't get upset later.

Well, as they say, you have goods, we have a merchant. We have come today to conclude a peaceful union between the families of two loving children in order to obtain your consent to their happy marriage. Give your beauty, clever and craftswoman for our brave fellow. Let the children begin their journey, let them become a wonderful married couple, a strong and friendly family.

We came for a reason, but as they say, you have a product, and we have a merchant. Our boy is bold, courageous, strong and smart, good-looking, he doesn’t get cold feet in battle, but even for his beloved he will get a star from the sky. So let's not interfere with this beautiful couple of lovers to build their happiness, give our noble swan your beautiful winch, and may they be faithful to each other and immensely happy all their lives.