Do Ossetians marry a Russian with a child. Traditional Ossetian norms of behavior
Our women are not seated at the same table with men, not because of the neglect of them and their humiliating position in society, but exactly the same reason why there are no women in the churches among the clergy. Do they exist there? No.
Our feasts are not just fun events with plentiful drinks and snacks, but also, and most importantly, prayers. The toasts that the elder sitting at the head says are not just toasts to peace in the world, to beautiful ladies, to your health, to your health, etc. This is a whole prayer ritual, strict, with a special obligatory order, which has been preserved and has not changed for centuries. Therefore, women sit at a separate table, in a light and free atmosphere, and the food and drink on their tables are more feminine. What the Russians call "feast" for the whole world, in Ossetian sounds "kuyvd" - a prayer. That's all. There is no respect for women here. Can you disrespect your mother, sister, daughter? Beloved woman, grandmother? Of course not. It's just that we have better preserved ancient traditions, rituals that we inherited from the Old Testament, as it seems to me personally. It seems very similar, because everything is very similar. And all because of a long isolated residence in hard-to-reach places, not subject to any outside influences. I am not an expert, of course, and I did not do this on purpose, I just share my opinion and thoughts on this matter. answering your expressed and unspoken questions.
From here: http://dvosetia.ru/audit
The woman is more respected than the man.
K. KHETAGUROV
According to Ossetian etiquette, a rider who met a woman had to get off his horse before he even caught up with her, and let her past him, and then only continue on his way.
K. KHETAGUROV. 1894 (117, p. 356)
By the way, the good qualities of the native (in this case, Ossetian. - K-Ch.) character can point to one more peculiar feature of native generosity. During a blood feud, the natives never kill the women of the opposing side. If someone commits such a crime, then he thereby brings upon himself the greatest contempt of his own and other people. No matter how much we asked, the native chronicle did not present any cases of such a violation of knightly rules.
And here's a whole article about it.
from here: http://iriston.com/books/gostiev_-_narodnye_tradicii_osetin/Glava_III._Luchshie_narodnye_tradicii_i_obychai_osetin.htm
Respect for a woman
In Ossetia, since ancient times, the honor and dignity of women have been protected in every possible way by the entire way of life of a mountain family. The dignity of a man was considered a precautionary, respectful attitude towards a woman, a shame for him - a manifestation of rudeness, obscene behavior in her society, assault, etc. And this at a time when a woman, especially a young one, has been in a powerless, oppressed position for centuries. The famous scientist V.F. Miller wrote in 1881: “No matter how bleak the life of a woman, it must be said to the honor of the Ossetians that among them there are extremely rare facts of rudeness and violence against her. Hitting a woman is considered shameful."
As for the older woman, she was in a special position and enjoyed great universal respect. To offend her was considered sacrilege. In the conditions of mountain life, unwritten laws acted strictly, demanded a chivalrous attitude towards a woman. Her high role in society and unquestioned authority is convincingly evidenced by the fact that the only force capable of stopping any fights, armed conflicts, up to the cessation of blood feuds, was a woman. The history of Ossetian society knows many cases when a woman, by her mere presence, prevented seemingly inevitable bloodshed. Even a blood lover felt completely safe if a woman acted as his protector. “The one who is taken under her protection by a woman is considered safe,” Steder wrote in the second half of the 18th century. “When they intervene in bloody fights with screams in loose hair, then everyone, ashamed, sheaths their sabers and disperses…” K. Khetagurov once wrote about this: “... no matter how strong the bitterness of those quarreling, fighting and fighting, the mere appearance of a woman curbs the brawlers, stops and stops the bloodshed. An ambiguous word in the presence of a woman, a careless movement during a dance, an obscene swagger with a girl arms all the youth against the offender ... ".
The most authoritative women took an active part in solving important public affairs. There is a lot of eloquent evidence for this in oral folk art, where the image of the legendary Satan is one of the unattainable creative heights. As for the eldest woman in the family (æfsin), she occupied an equal position with the head of the family. How to explain this special position of women?
With all this, the attitude towards women, oddly enough, was deeply contradictory. On the one hand, a woman occupied an honorable position in society and the family, on the other hand, her rights were extremely limited; one attitude towards an old woman, diametrically opposite - towards a young one. Apparently, the main reason for her dual position was the patriarchal way of life of the highlanders. Here is how M.M. answers this question. Kovalevsky, a prominent Caucasian scholar: “... only a son can be the successor of the clan. Among the people, in which the cult of ancestors managed to take deep roots, the concern for the birth of a son, especially before the daughter, is completely understandable ... the son is "the savior of the hearth ...".
Thus, the inequality between a man and a woman arose from those social conditions in which the male sex is both the successor of the family, and the protector, and hope, and breadwinner of the family.
The abduction of a girl, the forced marriage of her, the payment of bride price, economic dependence on her husband, unquestioning obedience to him in everything and always, the lack of the right to inherit, the custom of avoidance (waisadyn) - all this and much more put a woman in a forced, oppressed position. . It is no coincidence that the birth of a girl was considered grief, and a family that did not have male children was regarded as unhappy. The Great October Revolution marked the beginning of equality between men and women. And in the course of socialist construction, the social roots of all harmful remnants that humiliate women were eradicated.
During the years of Soviet power, such scientists as S.B. Dzugaev. F.I. Khetagurova, F.A. Butaeva, I.Kh. Gabanova, R.D. Khubetsova, T.D. Dzgoeva and many others.
The whole country knows the names of the People's Artists of the Soviet Union - the talented conductor Veronika Dudarova and the ballerina of the Bolshoi Theater of the USSR Svetlana Adyrkhaeva.
The selfless patriotism of Ossetian women is clearly evidenced by their active participation in the defeat of fascism. More than 3,000 glorious daughters of the Ossetians fought heroically on various fronts of the Great Patriotic War. Among them is Colonel of the Medical Service S.V. Salamova, Major of the Medical Service V.A. Revazova, major, commander of the communications battalion V.D. Salbieva, major of the medical service, head of the hospital E.A. Botoeva.
A lot of success has been achieved by our women in creating the material and technical base of society and in the field of cultural construction. Suffice it to say that six Ossetian women became Heroes of Socialist Labor: E.N. Bitieva is a planer of the Ordzhonikidzevsky VRZ, P. E. Bolloeva is a worker of the collective farm named after. Lenin of the Irafsky district, K.N. Kesaeva - a seamstress-minder of a garment factory named after. S. M. Kirova, N.S. Gogichaeva - a milkmaid of the stud farm No. A. Kantemirova of the Pravoberezhny district, N.A. Tsalikova - teacher of school number 15. N.K. Bagaeva is a milkmaid at the Druzhba collective farm in the Prigorodny district.
The labor achievements of the daughters of Ossetia, their professional skills quite convincingly speak of what a woman, a representative of a small people, is capable of.
But, to our great regret, remnants of actual inequality and the position of women still remain in our everyday life. And this should be said with all frankness.
Along with the indisputable acquisitions, women still have worries that still largely prevent them from fully exercising their rights. Unsettled life, lack of children's institutions, unemployment - all this, first of all, falls on the lot of women. So the residual principle in the development of the social sphere also had an effect here. But this situation could also be preserved because the opinion of women was not really taken into account. There is no proper representation in the governing bodies. And in general, the women's movement gradually died out or acquired a formal character.
In North Ossetia, and above all in its mountainous part, it is not uncommon for a man who does not appear in public with his wife. They are not together either at a party, or in public places, or in cultural institutions. This is also the case with some of our intellectuals, who prefer the so-called "male society". The husband has his own life, the wife has children, household.
In some families, the wife only waits on the guests, but does not sit down with them. Even in purely family matters, she does not have the same right as her husband to decide them, although their practical decision often falls on her shoulders.
There are few families where household responsibilities are equally distributed between working husband and wife. In the minds of some people, the idea still lives that the household is the destiny of a woman. Some men consider it shameful for themselves to help their wife around the house, to do the so-called "women's work."
The inequality of women in everyday life limits the possibility of her active participation in the spheres of production and culture, diminishes her role in the life of society. In families where all the care of the children and the household is entrusted to the wife, she has neither the strength nor the time to improve her overall development. The overload of a female worker with household chores has a negative effect on her intellectual growth. And often the different cultural level of the spouses leads to family conflicts, and sometimes to the breakup of the family.
Many representatives of the “stronger sex” still do not want to come to terms with the fact that a modern woman occupies an equal position with a man in our society and requires a fundamentally new attitude towards herself - equal rights.
When we talk about the remnants of inequality in the position of women, for the sake of objectivity, we must keep in mind two significant circumstances: firstly, it is wrong to judge this by purely external manifestations in relations between a man and a woman, because there is a lot of illusory, conditional, ostentatious. The fact is that due to false shame, fear of dropping their manhood, many husbands often try in every possible way to demonstrate their dominant position. They create the appearance of exclusive independence from their wives, ignore their interests, desires, opinions, contemptuously treat women's work, others publicly demonstrate the unlimitedness of their power, etc. By the way, many experienced wives help their husbands, sparing their pride, to create such an illusion. Some husbands do this in order to avoid the slander that still exists, such as “what kind of man is he if he is under the heel of his wife”, “instead of a hat he has a scarf on his head”, etc.
Such a psychology at the level of everyday consciousness is the result of the thousand-year domination of the patriarchal way of life of the mountain peoples, as well as the surviving harmful remnants and prejudices.
Our long-term observations concerning this issue deeply convince us that in the conditions of the national republics the actual position of women is somewhat more favorable than it seems at first glance. At least in the field of public life. The right to work, to education, housekeeping, raising children - here a woman is almost equal to a man. And today, if she suffers, it is not because she is deprived of any rights, but because she has too many responsibilities, both at work and at home. The remnants of inequality concern mainly young daughters-in-law, to an incomparably lesser extent - middle-aged women and almost do not concern them in old age. It is young daughters-in-law who immediately after the wedding experience something like oppression. Many of them, in addition to their work in the service, have to do everything around the house, serve almost all family members, get up earlier and go to bed later than everyone else. This is more common in families in which the groom's parents zealously defend archaic customs. Some parents, and above all, the mother-in-law, abuse their position and treat their daughters-in-law with disrespect, even insulting their human dignity.
Kosta Khetagurov spoke very figuratively about the position of his daughter-in-law in the past: “No one hears her voice, no one sees her sitting, she gets up before everyone else, sweeps everywhere, cleans, waits for everyone, eats hastily and later than everyone else, goes to bed later than everyone else.” These words of Costa can still be applied to some of our young daughters-in-law. One has to wonder how these older women, yesterday's daughters-in-law, can show such injustice, harsh demands on their younger ones, on their sons' girlfriends, on their young wives? Among the mothers-in-law there are those who, regardless of the feelings of the children, demand a divorce from their beloved wife. This is exactly the case when women, first of all and most of all, suffer from women, and here the lack of actual equality between a man and a woman has nothing to do with it.
Such a relic as “waysadyn”, the essence of which lies in the fact that the daughter-in-law does not have the right to talk with older relatives through her husband, especially with his father, has not yet been completely eliminated. In their presence, she should not sit down, take her child in her arms, appear in public without stockings and a scarf, pronounce the names of her husband and his relatives, especially older ones. These adat prescriptions are mostly followed by Ossetians living in the mountainous part of North Ossetia. Less commonly, it is observed today in its planar part and is almost forgotten in the city of Vladikavkaz.
The struggle against the "waysadyns" should in no way be understood as if this custom is directed against such high, invaluable inner qualities and feelings of a person as conscientiousness, restraint, modesty. These traits constitute not only the rational grain of "waysadyn", but also the basis of morality in general. Much to our chagrin, there are still young people who in every possible way distort the meaning of the “waysadyn” custom and fall into the other extreme, disdain everything old, national, and behave unworthily towards the elders. It doesn’t cost them anything to interrupt the speaker, to enter into an argument, to show incontinence, to be rude, defiantly not to give way or to stay in an ugly pose. There are frequent cases when a daughter-in-law insults, calls her husband's parents names, does not consider them at all, does not listen to their voice, reasonable advice. Such a narrow-minded person understands her equality as permissiveness, acts as she pleases, comes to the point that she requires her husband to leave his parents, even a lonely old mother. Such behavior among all peoples and at all times was regarded as ignorance and lack of culture. It is unforgivable to anyone, especially a woman. Individual ill-bred, uncultured daughters-in-law (and not only them) trample on the best folk traditions with their swagger, boasting of their “culture”.
The negative reaction of the older generation, adherents of the good old days, to these unworthy phenomena is expressed in a parable: an old man addresses his daughter-in-law with the words: “In honor of you not observing the custom“ waisadyn ”and talking to me, I slaughtered a ram, and now I I swear to slaughter the last bull just to keep you silent in my presence. That's what a violation of the measure, shying from one extreme to another.
It would be possible not to pay so much attention to intra-family relations if the formation of a new family, its strength, the upbringing of children, the moral qualities of future husbands and wives, their labor and social activity did not largely depend on them.
Two extremes?
Dedicated to the guys who have forgotten their roots...
Artur Zhazhiev and Tamik Bigaev.
Alas, in Ossetia, talking about men, and even more so condemning their behavior, is a kind of taboo. We accuse girls of all mortal sins. At the same time, we cherish the idea that our men are a gift from heaven, which we are unable to appreciate. Today, our future mothers-in-law by hook or by crook are trying to shield their sons from all life's difficulties, elevating them in their own eyes. The army is now a universal evil, sports - why, when you can do music and fashion, school - why is it needed! After all, everyone, teachers, coaches and military commissars want to offend their beloved treasure!
I wonder what we get as a result? Two extremes, one of which is uncultured males, who, as it seems at times, really just descended from the mountains. They treat girls like meat. And what reverence and respect for meat? Yes, and in society they are somehow not very good. They dispersed throughout our vast Motherland, and now, in Russia, at the word of the Ossetians, everyone twists their pretty faces, talking about the “wildness” of our guys. In any case, this is not new for us.
The other extreme is the effeminate little boys who gel their hair, wear trinkets and rush from their appearance (especially if they don’t come out with their faces). There are plenty of them everywhere, in Moscow and St. Petersburg, Vladikavkaz and Beslan, where I just haven’t met such people. Often, these guys understand fashion trends better than any "bomb", and there will be much more of them in their dressing room. Their idols are not even Tasha Gazdanova, but Justin Bieber and Roma Acorn. They all dream of going to Paris or Milan, to become a famous model or photographer. It doesn't matter if you don't have talent. It doesn’t matter that you still haven’t mastered the basics of grammar, and your views and ideas about life look like kindergarten ones. It’s better to look at court in the mirror for 12 hours, admiring how cool you are, than to gnaw at the granite of science and kick a pear in the gym at your 16-17 years old. It is better to go to parties and talk in slang than to know your culture and your native language.
Where does "it" come from? From family, from society or fashion magazines? Why do values change at the speed of light? Why do we not want to be worthy heirs of our ancestors?
Today, indeed, we have two extremes, and who knows which extreme is better? I come home and I'm lost. I am lost because there are no men, there are savages and women. And those few who still deserve to be called Ossetians are gradually “dying out”. And how to live further?
P.
S. Please understand me correctly, I do not divide all men into these two groups. I believe that there are still real men among us. I express my deep gratitude and respect to these men. Thanks for being there. You are a role model.
Ossetians
The people living in the North Caucasus and partly on the other side of the Caucasus Range. The number is about 700,000 people.
self-awareness
Ossetians are direct descendants of the Alans. Who are the descendants of the Sarmatians. Which, in turn, are the descendants of the Scythians. And this is the pride of each Ossetian individually and all together as a whole. Ossetians have their own state formation - a republic within the Russian Federation. With its own constitution and citizenship. And although they do not have all the features of a "nation" in its classical Marxist definition, Ossetians are a nation. Don't try to dispute it.
How others treat Ossetians.
Others treat Ossetians differently. For the most part, neighbors in the North Caucasian republics are unfriendly, since Ossetia is the only Christian republic in the North Caucasus. The titular population of Russia treats Ossetians better than other Caucasians (Caucasian phobia is gaining threatening momentum in Russia) - all for the same reason, but still with distrust - "they are all smeared with one myrrh."
How Ossetians treat others
Other Ossetians are either good or tolerant. Representatives of 98 nationalities peacefully coexist in the republic. Ossetia is the only republic in the Caucasus where representatives of non-indigenous nationality do not leave en masse. Ossetians have a twofold attitude towards the peoples inhabiting neighboring republics: on the one hand, hundreds of years of neighborhood have left a deep mark on the culture, traditions and customs of the people, and Ossetians jealously preserve their “Caucasianism”, on the other hand, neighbors profess Islam (and recently, often , its most aggressive currents) and are clearly not so friendly towards their Christian neighbors. The Ossetians, on the whole, treat the Russians, with whom they are united by faith and divided by cultural tradition, benevolently, which, however, does not prevent them from constantly drawing a clear line “Russian / Ossetian”. Both neighbors and Russians are an inexhaustible source of Ossetian jokes and banter.
How they treat themselves
Ossetians treat themselves very seriously and respectfully. The former glory of their ancestors haunts them. However, the Ossetians today have something to be proud of. What they do. Most of the jokes, the heroes of which are Ossetians, expose the latter as braggarts.
North and South
Ossetians are divided into many intranational groups. The two main ones are northerners and southerners. The northerners are the population of North Ossetia, the southerners, respectively, of the South (an unrecognized republic that is officially part of Georgia, which declared independence and seeks to become part of the Russian Federation). Northerners and southerners are distinguished by many things, incl. dialect and some differences in traditional rites. The linguistic difference is relatively minor and consists in the different pronunciation of some sounds. The stumbling block between northerners and southerners was mutual accusations of "Russification" of the former and "Georgianization" of the latter. The southerners believe that the northerners, living in Russia, have practically become Russians, the northerners, in turn, do not get tired of reproaching the southern brothers that they have become too similar to the Georgians, and there is little Ossetian left in them. And, as without this, Ossetians - southerners, like all other southerners of the planet Earth, have an expressive, explosive character, they are noisy and verbose, which naturally irritates their northern brothers (although Ossetian northerners themselves are southerners on the scale of Russia ). This conflict surfaced after Georgia's aggression against South Ossetia, when thousands of refugees poured into the North, and the existing differences between the North and the South became clear.
Gorges
In addition to the division into northerners and southerners, Ossetians have a territorial division within each part of Ossetia - both the North and the South. Alagirskoe, Kurtatinskoe, Digorskoe, Tualskoe and other gorges differ not so much in landscape as in the dialect and disposition of their inhabitants. The sound "s" in one gorge is pronounced as "s", in another as "c", in the third as "sh" and the variations are not yet over. The inhabitants of the Kurtatinsky Gorge (Kurtatins) are considered "noble", and the inhabitants of the Digorsky Gorge (Digorians) are considered cunning. However, this difference is visible only to the Ossetians themselves and is largely far-fetched. A person who has come will not notice anything of the kind.
Character
Restrained Nordic. Temperamental southern. This is about the Ossetians. On the one hand, Ossetians honor restraint and moderation in everything. On the other hand, they are extremely emotional people. Perhaps that is why restraint is in honor, that incredible efforts are worth pacifying the raging blood, and victory over oneself is worth a lot.
Cloth
As early as the beginning of the 20th century, Ossetians wore national clothes, similar in many respects to the national clothes of other North Caucasians, and largely borrowed from them. Now such costumes are used only in theatrical and choreographic performances, or in the case of a big holiday - a wedding (the bride marries in a national dress). Today, Ossetians wear ordinary modern clothes. The cult of clothing and fashion has not yet reached such a scale as in Europe, but trends are observed. Ossetian women of fashion do their best to keep up with the "planet of all" and often find themselves ahead of it in terms of bad taste and frankness of outfits, which, it should be noted, causes general disapproval and concern among the older generation, because in a woman Ossetians appreciate, first of all, modesty.
Money
Money in itself does not play a big role for Ossetians. Folklore in all its manifestations is always on the side of the poor. Rich people are not well liked. No Ossetian will consider himself more stupid than another just because he has more money.
Behavior
Humble and reserved is welcomed. However, if you are a girl, don't be surprised if a passing car honks or a passer-by man whistles and clicks his tongue - you were just given a compliment. You look good today.
Automobile
The object of pride and adoration of Ossetian men, and the longed-for dream of the female half. Cars are getting tuned up. And any. One of the jokes about Ossetians says: “The Moscow Metro no longer hires Ossetians as drivers. - Why? - The first one, who was taken in one shift, managed to toned 2 trains "
Manners and etiquette
Ossetians revere their elders. When the elder appears, the younger ones are supposed to stand up. They also do not sit at the table without the permission of the elder. When women appear, men stand up and vice versa. Hospitality occupies a special place in Ossetian etiquette. The guest is sacred for Ossetians. "Uazaeg - Khutsauy uazaeg" - "Guest - God's guest." That is a gift from God, which must be appropriately accepted.
Family
Family for Ossetians is a flexible concept. There are no namesakes among Ossetians - any two people with the same surname are relatives. Even in the 10th knee. And it’s not worth talking about cousins - the closest relatives. Ossetian men are in no hurry to bind themselves by marriage - you must first get on your feet in order to adequately support your family. The youngest son with his family until the death of his parents is obliged to live with them. However, time makes its own adjustments and many do not adhere to this tradition so strictly. For an Ossetian girl, the ideal age of marriage is 21-22 years old, when education has already been received and it is no longer worth it to “stay up”.
Friends
Ossetians have the concept of “named brother”. Two friends can call themselves brothers, with all the ensuing consequences. The circle of acquaintances of each Ossetian is very wide - here are neighbors with whom Ossetians communicate very closely, and classmates and colleagues. And if you, for example, set out to get married - God forbid you not to call all of the above to the celebration - you will offend many, and maybe offend.
Food
Ossetian food is meat, Ossetian pies and cheese. Meat - traditionally beef or lamb - is preferred to be cooked in large chunks. No frills. Cheese is prepared at home and can be of two types: hard, fatty and salty and soft, moderately salty and not very fatty. The latter is used to make Ossetian pies. Pies are made from unleavened yeast dough and various fillings, most of which are based on the aforementioned Ossetian cheese.
Gluttony among Ossetians is considered shameful and subjected to all sorts of ridicule.
As for non-alcoholic drinks, these are sour-milk similarities of kefir or kefir itself, from alcoholic drinks - Ossetian beer "baegaena" and Ossetian moonshine - "araekh". The degree of alcohol is low - about 6 in beer, about 27-30 in arak.
Animals
Animals in the life of Ossetians play two roles: they are eaten and protective.
House
Home for Ossetian - his fortress. Both literally and figuratively. Ossetians used to live in stone houses "sakly" and built stone towers for defensive purposes. Today, Ossetians build houses of brick. The bigger the house, the better. It should preferably be bigger and more beautiful than the neighbor's, and certainly no worse. One of the most terrible Ossetian curses - let the foundation of your house shake.
Obsessions
“Dy maenaey tsamaey laeg daer dae” - “than you are more a man than me.” Ossetians do not recognize any authority other than seniority. There are cases when high military ranks waited at the table for ordinary soldiers, since they are older in age. In all other cases, every Ossetian considers himself a "real Ossetian", no worse than others.
Love
It is not customary for Ossetians to show love. And not only in public, but also between two people. This is considered a sign of weakness. It is not customary to show love not only to beloved ones, but even to one's own children. A widow is not supposed to cry too much at her husband's funeral.
Sport
In Ossetia, sports are loved and respected. Sports in Ossetia are football and freestyle wrestling. The Ossetian freestyle wrestling school is the strongest school in the world. It makes no sense to list Ossetian wrestlers - Olympic champions and medalists - it will take too much time.
Purchases
Ossetians will never ask in a store before making a purchase how much it costs. Suddenly someone will think that he does not have enough money or that he is a miser. He better not go to the store if he is not sure that, having collected a bunch of everything and without looking at the price tags, he will be able to pay for everything with a grand gesture.
Sense of humor
Specific and often rude. It makes no sense to give examples, because in translation all meaning is lost.
culture
Ossetians consider themselves a cultured people. There are many theaters, musical and dance groups in the republic. The Ossetian school of painting is highly valued abroad: paintings by Ossetian artists are present in many private collections in Europe and the USA. The world's first female conductor was an Ossetian, and the artistic director of the Mariinsky Theater in St. Petersburg, Valery Gergiev, is considered a world-class conductor and, in general, needs no introduction.
Literature
Ossetian Gaito Gazdanov became an internationally recognized classic. Ossetians, however, most of all revere the Ossetian poet and writer Kosta Khetagurov. He is considered the founder of Ossetian literature, and was awarded the title of "Leonardo da Vinci of the Ossetian people."
Customs and traditions
Ossetians cherish their customs like the apple of their eye. Any deviation from the traditional rite will cause an extremely negative assessment from the vast majority. However, some customs are no longer approved by the Ossetians themselves, for example, ruinous weddings and funerals, but there are no daredevils who would dare to deviate from tradition. Everything should be as it should be.
Religion
The vast majority of Ossetians are officially Orthodox Christians. The rest officially professes Islam. However, the question of Ossetian religious affiliation remains open. The Ossetians preserved (albeit in a modified form) the monotheistic religion inherited from their ancestors, with their own "saints", rituals and holidays. It is followed by 99% of Ossetians - whether they are Muslims or Christians.
Connections
Relations in Ossetian society play a huge, practically decisive role. Where something cannot be achieved with money, it can definitely be achieved if you find the right connections. Among the Ossetians, even the coined term "chionism" from the word "chion" - "one's own" is in circulation. It is almost impossible to get a job, a university or even a school if you do not have sufficient connections. Not hiring your relative is actually making yourself an enemy. The insult will never be forgotten. Therefore, in most institutions of Ossetia, all employees are children, sons-in-law, matchmakers, friends, friends of friends, relatives of the leader's friends.
To be continued…
Ruslan Kuchity,
Ossetian traditions and customs are rooted in the depths of centuries, many of them in the Scythian-Alanian times. Among the peoples of the North Caucasus, committed to the old patriarchal way of life, the Ossetians were able to sufficiently preserve their language, culture, religion, and traditions almost in their original form. In many ways, this was facilitated by the long isolation of the people in the mountains after the devastating raids of the Mongol-Tatars and the hordes of Timur. And although the territorial proximity and strong ties with neighboring peoples could not but leave their mark, the Ossetians today, within the limits of what is possible, carefully preserve the Farn of their ancestors and their spiritual and moral heritage.
When it comes to our traditions and customs, for some reason they always start with a description of folk holidays, feast elements, etc. Undoubtedly, they are important. But there is another component of our being, which today is much more relevant and important. This is the spiritual and moral world of the Ossetian, the norms of his behavior and the rules of relations with the surrounding society. We will start with them. So...
Traditional norms of behavior of Ossetians (Ossetians) in society and in the family.
As you know, state-legal institutions and secular laws came into our Ossetian life relatively recently - a couple of hundred years ago. And to be more precise, even today they are not perceived by the people to the same extent as, say, in the countries of Western Europe.
For many centuries, other laws were unshakable for the highlanders - unwritten norms of behavior, a kind of peculiar code of honor. Adats, as they are usually called in the Russian-speaking environment, have been worked out for centuries and are surprisingly effective. They also were not devoid of elements of democracy and social justice.
In each mountain society (village, gorge) there was a council of elders - Nykhas (lit. - "word, conversation"). To resolve controversial issues, a people's court, Taerkhon, gathered, where the most wise, respected and balanced people did justice.
Here is what G.A. wrote about this. Kokiev:
“The Ossetian showed a keen interest in everything related to the society of which he was a member. If anyone attacked this society, all men capable of bearing arms considered sacred obligation to act in defense of the interests of their society. Not a single adult man remained indifferent during the public alarm - "phaedis". Each man, grabbing a weapon, galloped to Nykhas and, without dismounting from his horse, asked: “Cirdoma fades?” (“In what direction are the enemies?”) Having received an answer from the elder Nykhas, he rode on the enemy who broke into the borders of this clan with villainous goals.
Nykhas has played an important role in the public life of Ossetians since ancient times. The term "nykhas" literally means "conversation"... In each Ossetian village there is a certain place, usually in the center of the village, for a gathering of old people, which is also called "nykhas". The old men on the “nykhas” sat on large stones, which, from long use, were not only polished, but even took the shape of a human pelvis ...
On the "nykhas" the old people took their places strictly according to their seniority. If you stand facing the old people sitting on the "nykhas", then the oldest, who was the chairman of the "nykhas", occupied the second place from the edge from the left hand. The old man sitting on the right side, who occupied the last place, was considered the deputy of the elder. All the other old people took their places strictly according to seniority on the left side. In addition to the old people, there were always many young people on the “nykhas” who did not have the right to sit with the elders, and therefore stood decorously at the left end of the “nykhas”. The young people listened with respectful attention to the stories of the old people. “People gathered at nykhas not only to discuss important public issues, but also to listen to the news of the day, or, as they are called in Ossetian, “khabars”...
"Nykhas" in the past of Ossetian reality was such a tribal organization in which everyone enjoyed the right to vote. The elder gave the right to vote to young people when there was a need for it. The young man, who was given the floor, went out to the middle of the “nykhas”, so that he could be seen and heard well by all the old people, and kept his word. He spoke briefly and distinctly on a question of interest to everyone, after which he again took his place among the young people. It must be said that young people in the “nykhas” learned from the old people the art of oratory, respectful attitude towards elders, got acquainted with the norms of customary law, with the worldview and moral concepts of their people. "Nykhas" was a kind of "parliament" of the tribal organization, in which public opinion was formed, binding on all members of society. At the "nykhas" the most important issues of the social life of this society were discussed. At the "nykhas" conflicts that arose with neighboring societies were discussed and certain decisions were made on them. Issues related to the reconciliation of bloodlines, conflicts between clans and even between individual members of the clan were also brought to “nykhas”.
On all issues - external and internal - decisions were made in strict accordance with the norms of Ossetian customary law ...
Ossetian concepts of honor and human dignity were formed in the conditions of a pre-class society, in which the slogan "one for all and all for one" was the main one. In the minds of the Ossetians, the personal and the generic were inseparable. Each member of the tribal collective considered himself responsible for his collective, and the tribal collective, in turn, considered himself responsible for each of its members. Hence, the Ossetians, protecting their honor and dignity, at the same time protected the honor and dignity of their tribal team.
According to the views of the Ossetians, a person can be insulted and disgraced physically and morally. Ossetians considered physical insults to be struck with a stick or whip. Ossetians said that a stick exists only for dogs, therefore, hitting a man with a stick equals him with a dog, and therefore, in response to such a humiliation and insult to human dignity, a murder followed ...
Ossetians considered a lash to be the same humiliating insult. Only dumb and disenfranchised slaves were beaten with whips, and therefore the Ossetians considered it a great shame for themselves to become like a slave who was punished with a whip ...
The Ossetian considered himself offended when someone touched his headdress. The hat, according to the highlander, is a sacred and inviolable thing. Therefore, the highlanders did not take care of any other item of their clothing as they did about their hat. The highlander could walk in a torn Circassian coat and torn chuvyaks, but that he had an exemplary headdress. No matter how poor the mountaineer was, he always tried to have an excellent hat. Yes, and how not to take care of a hat, when, according to the views of Ossetians and mountaineers in general, it belongs to a man, and not a scarf - belongs to a woman! When they wanted to shame a man for his cowardice, they told him that he was not worthy to wear a hat and let him change it for a scarf, and then there would be no claims against him that are generally made against a man.
A hat in the eyes of an Ossetian is a symbol of courage, strength, courage and superiority over a woman, and therefore it should be inviolable on a man’s head ...
Ossetians reacted just as painfully to a verbal insult to a wife, mother, or a close deceased... For centuries, the mores of pre-class society instilled pride and vindictiveness in Ossetians. For insulting the person and human dignity, the Ossetian cruelly took revenge on his enemy. The prevailing slogan “blood for blood”, which was a vivid reflection of the ideology of the tribal society, for centuries brought up revenge in Ossetians for the insult inflicted on him. No offense could go unpunished...
Ossetian concepts of shame are peculiar and specific. Generally speaking, Ossetians are very shy. Sometimes he considers shameful such norms of behavior, which for many can often be completely incomprehensible. The whole complex of Ossetian concepts of shame by its nature can be reduced to two main groups. The first group of concepts discrediting the good name of a person should include the norms of his behavior in society, and the second - the norms of a person's behavior in his personal life. It was customary to judge the degree of upbringing of a person in Ossetian society primarily by his attitude towards elders and the ability to behave in society. A noble and brought up in the spirit of Ossetian patriarchal customs, a person had to treat his elders with great respect and courtesy. Showed disrespect for elders, which was condemned by public opinion, among the Ossetians was considered shame, dropping the good name of a person. In the presence of elders, the younger one could not sit, it was impossible to interrupt him during a conversation, the slightest desire of the elder had to be foreseen and warned, to serve him, to know his place on the “nykhas”, at the table and on the road, when you had to go somewhere on horseback with the elder. Among the young, the elder enjoyed unquestioned authority. No wonder the Ossetian people have preserved a curious saying: “Zarondan fidzag nissarfa findz, uadtai bafarsa zundabal” (“First wipe the elder’s nose, and then ask him for wise advice”)...
For his part, the elder, in relation to the young, had to lead
Himself in the highest degree correct and tactful, without abusing his position.
It was considered a great shame among Ossetians to come to funerals or feasts without an invitation, so to speak "huadzo" (iron. "hadzu"). True, no one would shame an uninvited guest, but by their attitude towards him, everyone made him understand that his act, from the point of view of popular customs, deserves condemnation. Among the Ossetians, an interesting saying has been preserved: “Yes gubuni fadbal matso” (“Do not follow your stomach”). This proverb reflects the views of the Ossetians, who say that a person should be above all satiety and that it is not the stomach that should regulate his behavior at the table, but his mind, which should refrain him from reprehensible, from the point of view of public opinion, actions ...
Ossetians at the common table do not feel free, as they are bound by a mass of conventions, the non-observance or violation of which was condemned by public opinion. At the table, Ossetians occupied a place appropriate to their age and strictly observed table etiquette, consecrated for centuries. The old people at the table behaved very decorously. Often someone sang a song in honor of Wasgerga, and almost all the old people present here echoed him. They sat for a long time, but ate little, because, according to the concepts of the Ossetians, it is a shame to eat a lot, and to show gluttony is a shame. And until now, the Ossetian people say: “Hundi fazzo afsastai, yes khadzarma ba artzo astongai” (Come to the dinner party full, and return home hungry). Ossetians treated hunger with disdain. To show a feeling of hunger, according to his concepts, was a shame. And it took a lot of effort to persuade the Ossetian, even when he was obviously hungry, to sit down at the table. And when he sat down, he ate little, and the very process of eating, both the host and the guest, tried to disguise it with a pleasant conversation ...
Even more shame than gluttony, the Ossetians considered getting drunk drunk. Ossetians drank a fair amount of mountain beer or araki at the common table. As a result of the drunk Ossetians, however, were cheerful, but in view of the fact that they knew the measure, it was impossible to meet a single drunk. For a young man, but moderately drinking alcohol, even if he were from a good family, no one would marry his daughter.
Cowardice was considered no less a shame in Ossetian society, regardless of where it was manifested - when meeting with a blood lover or in a war. By his unworthy behavior, the coward violated friendship and comradely solidarity. Therefore, the Ossetians rightly regarded the cowardice shown in the war as a betrayal. A cowardly man covered his head and his whole family with shame. A man who showed cowardice in the war was boycotted and despised in Ossetian society. About a person who showed cowardice, the people composed a song disgracing his name, and, on the contrary, about a person who committed a heroic deed or died in an unequal struggle by the death of the brave, they also composed a song that perpetuated the good memory of him among the people ... In Ossetian society, for it was considered shameful for men to respond to physical pain. According to Ossetians, a courageous person should not react to physical pain. This is tantamount to crying, and a man should not cry at all, so as not to become like a woman, about whom they say that she has "wet eyes" ...
Under the direct influence of folk customs, other moral qualities of Ossetians also developed. The norms of customary law of the people worked out in Ossetians honesty and loyalty to the given word.
The sense of honesty in Ossetians was highly developed. There will be no exaggeration
chenie, if we say that the Ossetian had no idea about the lie or deception of man by man. It is well known that there were no written guarantees among the Ossetians. The only guarantee in the relationship of people was the word. The word Ossetian was observed very strictly, and therefore among them it had the force of a written document. If an Ossetian gave his word, there was absolutely no doubt that he would keep it to the end. On parole, without any witnesses, the Ossetians lent money or livestock to the Ossetians on the condition that they pay the cost by the due date. And the Ossetians always kept their word exactly... It was customary to believe the oath, since in the Ossetian society everyone was sure that no one would take a false oath or oath. If an Ossetian was suspected of committing a crime, but the Ossetian took an oath or swore that he did not commit a crime, any suspicion was removed from him. Ossetians have always responded with confidence for the trust expressed to him. He highly valued the trust of a person and, on the contrary, considered it a serious insult for himself if they expressed distrust to him.
The concept of what is “good” and what is “bad” can be perceived differently by different nations. Often the line between "good" and "bad" is quite thin and blurry. For Ossetians, “bad” or “unworthy” is when a person creates problems and unpleasant sensations for others by his behavior, when private interests and self-interest are put above the interests of society, or when a person’s actions go against the rules and norms accepted in this society . Moreover, society itself certainly reacted to any act of unworthy behavior.
In Ossetian life, there has always been a lot of "ambayela" or "ne'mbayela" (accepted - not accepted). And yet there were fundamental norms that always kept the spirit of the people, its strength and unity, like a foundation, without which there can be no building. This is respect for elders, respect for a woman, preservation of honor and dignity. And if, according to Franco Cardini, Bahrakh, Littleton and other European scientists, Western Alans had a significant impact on the formation of medieval knightly traditions in Europe, in Ossetia these traditions have been preserved for many centuries, being part of our "aegdau" - code of conduct. To some extent, they are inherent in today's Ossetians.
It is wrong to think that respect for elders was reduced only to unconditional obedience to them. It's more of a two way road. Because the wise elders always respected the younger ones, their aspirations and needs. And the elder who did not understand this lost respect. I remember that in the 1970s I often visited a friend in Gizel. His father, a very respected person in the village, usually after a short questioning (“How are you? How are your parents feeling? Etc.) always left us alone, realizing that in his presence we would feel constrained. Unfortunately, today's life is replete with other examples. When older people sit next to them at the table the same age as their children, they force them to drink “in full” and then demand respect for their person.
In the Ossetian environment there was not and should not be one standard of behavior for different situations. What is not reprehensible in one may be unworthy and offensive in another. In the presence of elders and women or at the table, for example, there can be no liberties, rudeness, foul language. It is also customary to behave with restraint and modesty near temples, holy places, cemeteries. In a word, Ossetian society adhered to many “taboos” - unwritten prohibitions of what was considered unworthy and humiliating. And although everyone was free to act in any situation in his own way, the responsibility for actions before society was very high. Because society has always reacted adequately. And if a person went against the rules and norms of behavior, he incurred the shame and contempt of others. And not only for themselves, but also for the whole family, clan, village. Under those conditions, it was worse than physical death.
In the most extreme cases, at a village meeting or Nykhas, a person (most often the whole family) could be declared “Khody” - universal contempt and rejection. "Khodygond" found itself in a social vacuum, like an inanimate object. No one had the right to communicate with such a person or provide him with any assistance. And he who violated the custom of "Khoda" and entered into contact with the outcast, himself risked being in the same position.
Cases of deliberate killings or insulting family members inevitably led to blood feuds. It was believed that such crimes could be washed away only with the blood of the guilty and his closest relatives - men. Those who could not take revenge covered themselves with indelible shame and became an outcast of society. The feud of the births could go on for centuries, claiming dozens of lives of young men. At the same time, even in the most cruel times of irreconcilable hostility, the bloodlines never touched children, women and the elderly. Such actions were considered by society as baseness, unworthy of a man.
Usually, blood feuds sooner or later ended with the conclusion of peace. Sometimes it took a great deal of diplomatic and oratory mediators to convince the warring parties to stop the senseless bloodshed. In the context of secular laws and justice institutions, such actions may seem terrible savagery. But in those days, blood feud was one of the most significant regulators of social relations and a deterrent.
In a patriarchal society, any more or less significant decisions have always been made by men. The man was the head of the family and the woman never dared to argue with him, especially in public. After all, by doing this she humiliated him, and therefore herself and the whole family. A smart woman always tried to elevate her husband in the eyes of others, and controversial issues were resolved at home. Unfortunately, today, in the conditions of the aggressively militant emancipation of the Western cut, many people forget about this tradition.
Previously, a woman did not interfere in the conversation of men, was not present at Nykhas, and did not have the right to go to many sanctuaries. But along with this, the woman, as the keeper of the hearth, enjoyed great respect and honor (see the statements of G. Kokiev above). She occupied her own special place in the structure of Ossetian society. Many old Ossetian traditions are connected with this respect. Beautiful and noble, for example, is the ancient tradition to immediately stop a duel if a woman throws her scarf between the fighters (in the picture: a fragment from the choreographic production “Duel”).
An interesting and ambiguous custom is "waisadyn" - when the bride did not have the right to talk in the presence of older family members: father-in-law, mother-in-law and husband's brothers. This custom kept the bride at a sufficient distance from the elders and did not allow her to cross the line of permissibility and decency (aegdau). This custom has survived to this day. But today's elders do not want to seem too archaic, and soon after the wedding they rush to formally abolish the waisadaen (observing, of course, all the traditional formalities) in order to allow the bride to talk in their presence. Moreover, many soon begin to bitterly regret it ....
In large families, women (mother-in-law, daughters and brides - strictly by seniority and position) were in charge of purely female affairs: cooking, caring for children, etc. A man who "poked his nose" into these matters could cover himself with great shame. Therefore, Ossetians never cooked food in the family, did not sew, did not weave, did not wash, did not caress children and did not take them in their arms in the presence of strangers or elders.
An interesting case is told by the people when, while talking with an elder, a young man noticed that his young son, who was crawling on the ground, was about to fall off a cliff. Without interrupting the conversation with the elder, he imperceptibly stepped on the boy's shirt, and held him there until the elder ended the conversation and left. Even for the sake of saving the life of his own child, a man could not step over the aegdau, humiliate himself and take the child in his arms with the elder.
The lot of men was hard physical labor, providing the family with everything necessary, responsibility for the family and clan, as well as their protection. In a word, a man was supposed to be an unconditional earner, manager and warrior. Boys from early childhood were brought up in the Spartan spirit, without pampering, in work and readiness for protection. In need and difficult conditions of mountain life, young people comprehended the science of life, trained their spirit and body, and practiced martial arts. After all, every boy was first of all considered as a future warrior. Great honor was enjoyed by those young people who famously jigged, shot from a rifle and fenced. The ability to dance and sing beautifully was also considered necessary attributes. Before marrying a girl, her relatives checked the groom in all these categories, and only after that he was given an assessment: “worthy - not worthy.” Nobility and wealth could not achieve the respect that every Ossetian society had for the brave and determined daredevils. At the same time, physical death should not have frightened Ossetians. The worst thing for both men and women was shame. Showing cowardice, cowardice, in battle, for example, covered with shame not only himself but the whole family. And vice versa, brave and courageous warriors became heroes for centuries. Their heroism was sung in songs and legends.
Girls, on the contrary, were brought up modest, reserved, chaste and feminine. Any liberty, insolence or manifestation of the qualities inherent in men (such as efficiency, firmness of character, striving for leadership, etc.) could cover the name of the girl with such a shame that then not a single worthy young man would marry her.
Showing increased attention to men has also always been considered a great shame. The young did not run on dates and did not meet in public. Even when a guy and a girl loved each other, they could meet occasionally, secretly, away from the eyes of others. But if the girl’s father or brothers found out about this, her chosen one could be unhappy. In the case when a guy accidentally or intentionally even touched a girl with his finger, he risked being left without a head, because he was considered to have encroached on the honor of the family.
The only places where young people met and socialized were the venues for celebrations and weddings. They prepared for them in advance, like Natasha Rostova at her first ball.
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Today's life has made many adjustments to the relationship of the young. Much of what was unthinkable before has become commonplace and familiar today. The majority of young Ossetians have other moral norms. The guys were different too. But even today, when it comes time to start a family, the vast majority of guys for a serious relationship do not prefer those girls who are available and "without complexes", but those who are endowed with qualities that have been valued in Ossetia for centuries.
In the relationship between men and women, their behavior in public, modesty and restraint have always been the main elements. It was considered indecent to talk about your wife or, moreover, to praise her. And if you still had to mention her, or the children, the man always, as it were, asked for forgiveness from those around him (“Waye farn birae, ...”).
At the same time, the husband and wife did not call each other by name. We managed with expressions like “Ne fsin” (our hostess), “Syvaellaetta mad” (mother of our children), “Nae kaebaergaenaeg” (Cooking food for us), “Nae laeg” (Our man), “Nae haedzary hitsau” (Head of our house ) and so on. Often the husband called his wife by her “family name”: “Abian” (from the Abaevs), “Dzugian” (from the Dzugaevs), Kaebyson” (from the Kabisovs). The exchange of some pleasantries between a husband and wife in the presence of strangers would be considered very indecent and immodest behavior. At the table, guests could praise the mistress of the house, make a toast of thanks for her, but the owner of the house himself never did this and tried to restrain others from excessive praise. In addition, if there were grandfather and grandmother (“Dada” and “Nana”) in the house, it was customary to first show signs of respect for them. At the same time, the daughter-in-law "remained in the shadows."
Public loud quarrels between husband and wife, or abuse of children were considered very obscene. “Mae fydguly khaedzarayei ma khayer nykhas raykhuysa” (Let loud swearing be heard from the yard of my enemy) - they used to say. A self-respecting man would never raise a hand against a woman, not even his wife. But at the same time, the man has always been the unquestioning master and head of the house, any word of which for the household was a law that was not subject to discussion.
Ossetians have never been naked in public or in public places, even during extreme heat or hard work. This would be considered shameful and unworthy of a man's behavior. Men and in their own yard went out fully dressed. A typical example of the bearer of these norms was the famous giant strongman and circus wrestler Temirbolat Kanukov.
He insisted to the leadership of the circus that he be allowed to wrestle on the carpet in a shirt. Therefore, in all the surviving photographs, among the then best wrestlers in Russia, playing in public with their muscular half-naked bodies, Bola is the only one - always in clothes.
This norm of propriety was and is adhered to by many of those whom we classify as the older and middle generation. But life does not stand still, and B.Kanukov's times are long gone. Miniskirts, shorts have come into fashion, and today no one wrestles in shirts on the wrestling mat.
And yet, an adult man walking along the street or the courtyard of a multi-storey building is naked to the waist, with his belly hanging through a belt, or a young girl in such a skirt that no matter how you turn around in the same minibus, you can still see “something” can not be the norms of decency for our people at any time ... If tomorrow, somewhere in the West, it becomes fashionable to walk the streets in bathing suits, for us Ossetians, if we want to remain such, this norm should be unacceptable.
No one will argue that all men should go buttoned up to the chin, and girls are required to wear ankle-length dresses. But, there must be a certain framework for everything, as well as a suitable place and conditions. If on the beaches and in other places of recreation, shorts are very comfortable clothes, then coming to traditional Ossetian celebrations in shorts is a manifestation of disrespect for others and the culture of the people to which you belong.
And in this regard, half-naked photos of our guys and girls, in a large number posted on the Internet for everyone to see, look very unsightly. Apparently, most of these lovers of showing their body to the whole world forget, or do not know that they thereby violate one of the most fundamental norms of Ossetian behavior.
The relationship between the elders in the house and the daughter-in-law is also interesting. Both sides kept a certain distance between themselves. Seniors - not allowing any liberties and obscenities in the presence of the bride. The same distanced itself and kept within the framework of the Ossetian ethics through the custom of "Waisadyn". She did not have the right to talk in the presence of older family members and, moreover, with them themselves, managing communication through the younger ones. At first glance, this custom looks wild. But with a deeper study of it, you come to the conclusion that it was an indispensable and very useful and effective component of the traditional way of life of the Ossetians of the past.
In later times, in Ossetia, they began to practice the "Removal of Waisadyn", that is, the release of the bride from observing this custom. For this, the owner of the house slaughtered a bull or a ram, invited relatives and neighbors to a kuvd (feast). Here, in the presence of everyone, he presented his daughter-in-law with an honorary glass, thanking her for such a zealous observance of traditions and high morality, and allowing her from that moment to talk with him and with him.
Traditional relationships in the Ossetian family of the past are well described by A.Kh. Khadikova in the recently published book “Ossetian Etiquette” from the “My Ossetia” series, which I recommend you read.
To be continued.
