Marriage before the Lord, or why you need a wedding in the church. We comprehend the eternal: what is the meaning of the wedding in the Orthodox Church

Rida Khasanova July 28, 2018

Many couples seek not only to legitimize their relationship in the registry office, but also to go through the sacrament of the wedding in the church. But does everyone understand how serious and responsible this step is? Indeed, after the ceremony, the souls of the spouses will forever be together, even in heaven.

What is the sacrament of marriage?

The sacrament of marriage is a sacred rite. Its meaning lies in the fact that two people bare their souls before themselves, each other and before God and enter into a marriage, which recognized not only on earth but also in heaven.

What is the difference between a wedding and a wedding: the first is the conclusion of a legal marriage, declared before society. And the second is people's desire for unity, to the creation of conditions in marriage, where love and faith will only grow stronger.

The wedding usually takes place in a church, but if desired, an exit ceremony can also be organized, although there will not be much solemnity in it, as in a temple

How to start preparing for the wedding: first of all you need go for permission to the priest. The priest will explain the essence of the wedding, which is a tradition of the Orthodox. You should not go through a ritual just to get beautiful photos or because "it's necessary."

Basic rules for those who decide to get married:

• husband and wife must be baptized;
• a man and a woman must be married, registered in the registry office;
• before the ritual, you need to go to confession and take the sacrament.

What you need to know for those who, for whatever reason, decided to undergo a wedding ceremony abroad:

• a wedding held in another country will be recognized as legal in the homeland;
• a Christian wedding can only be held in a Christian country;
• for a wedding abroad, you will need a baptismal certificate, a birth and marriage certificate (depending on the country, the list of documents may vary);
• documents for consideration are submitted in a month, not less.

A wedding is only an external ritual, without sincere love and understanding of what this ceremony is for, it will not have true meaning. First, you need to honestly admit to yourself whether there is willingness to share with a spouse or wife all the joys and sorrows, life's difficulties. Wedding couples receive great support from God, but efforts to maintain and strengthen relations must take themselves.

Sep 23, 2018 at 4:25 AM PDT

Often people wonder if an unmarried marriage is fornication - if a man and a woman love each other, are faithful in their relationship and have registered them in the registry office, then they have the right to turn to the wedding when they consider it necessary.

The whole truth is that a righteous life in an unmarried marriage cannot be considered wrong or sinful, and is recognized by the church.

There is a misconception that marriage can be broken. The bishops meet the requests of spouses who have separated and are already in relationships with other people so that they do not fall into even greater sin.

Therefore, to the question of how many times you can get married, the answer is unequivocal - one, - things are incompatible. If, nevertheless, such a need arose, how to get married a second time? Need to submit. This can only be done by the highest priest - the diocesan bishop. He looks at the situation and allows to give chance for a new marriage. The answer may be negative if a person has violated the vow of allegiance given before the Lord.

How is the wedding and what is needed for this

• the back, shoulders and chest should be closed, if the dress is open, then you should take care of the wedding cape;
• the dress should not be too tight and short;
• it is better to choose shoes with a small heel, since the wedding lasts about an hour;
• the head must certainly be covered with a scarf or veil;

It is important to note that guests must also be dressed in accordance with the rules. Revealing clothes and pants are not allowed on women

Before the wedding ceremony in the church, the priest appoints newlyweds a post A: It may take several days or a week. At this time, you need to give up attending parties, meat food and intimate relationships. it is desirable to fill it with reading spiritual books, prayers and attending services in the temple.

‒ there are some days of the year when it is forbidden:

• all the main 4 posts;
• the gap between Christmas and Christmas time;
• Easter and cheese weeks;
• eve of great holidays;
• the day of the Exaltation of the Cross of the Lord, the Beheading of John the Baptist, as well as the eve of fasting days - Tuesday and Thursday.

Orthodox and Catholic Church close to each other, but still there are several differences, including in the wedding ceremony:

• it is required to visit the church 3 months before the wedding for a kind of teaching about marriage according to Catholic rules;
• children born in wedlock must be brought up in the Catholic faith;
• special permission is required if people of different faiths (Jewish, Muslim or with an atheist) get married;
• in the Catholic Church, you can get married on any day, even during Lent.

How to get married in a Protestant church - the sacrament is very similar to the rite of a Catholic church. Both the preparation and the process itself are almost identical to each other. The main difference is that at the beginning of the process, the bride enters the church alone or with her father, and the guests and the groom are already waiting for her.

There is an interesting rule: alcohol is prohibited at Protestant weddings. In extreme cases, you can allow light wine or champagne, but no more

After the introductory prayer, the priest asks the young people whether they really agree to marry, and also asks the parents if they bless their children.

In a Protestant church, you can right in the church: instrumental music, Christian songs sound, guests bring donations to the church, and also take communion.

You can’t get married in a monastery - as stated in the charter of the Orthodox Church. After all, people who live in this place renounced everything worldly, and neither weddings nor baptisms are held in the monastery.

Signs and superstitions associated with the wedding

The wedding has always been of great importance for people, since earlier it was considered the official conclusion of marriage. But now only those couples who have registered relationships in the registry office can go through this ceremony. Despite this, they still respect various superstitions.

Wedding dress tips:

• if a girl puts on a wedding dress before the Sacrament, then it may not take place;
• before the road to the church attach pins to the clothes of the bride and groom to protect yourself from the evil eye;
• if during the ceremony the bride drops her handkerchief, it means to be her widow.

Signs related to the road to the wedding:

• when the bride leaves for church, parents need to wash the floor in the house (except for the threshold) so that the wedding is not upset;
• before leaving for the church, it is supposed to put a lock under the threshold of the house, when the young people cross it, close the lock with a key, and throw the key away as far as possible (the lock is kept for a lifetime);
• you need to go to church one way, and back - the other;
• newlyweds going to the wedding, no one should cross the path.

Parents of the young should not be present at the wedding, they are replaced by godparents. And the mother and father stay at home to bless, and then meet the married couple

You also need to pay attention to wedding candles, which have great power:

• whose candle burns more during the Sacrament, that of the spouses will be the first to die;
• wedding candles should be kept for life, they can also help during difficult childbirth;
• if there is a strong crackle from the candles during the wedding, it means that the life of the couple will be restless.

wedding candles

During the wedding, the spouses swear before God that they will be faithful to each other all their lives - this is an extremely responsible decision. It is necessary to agree to the sacrament of the church only when loving people are truly confident in their feelings. You can not treat this ceremony as a fashion - otherwise nothing good will come of it. It is better to first live for some time in an ordinary marriage and establish yourself in the seriousness of your intentions.

For clarity, watch a beautiful wedding video:

Nowadays, despite the widespread and massive return of people to Orthodoxy, unfortunately, one often has to deal with a rather indifferent attitude of modern Christians to church marriage, often with a complete misunderstanding of its meaning and necessity.

According to the teachings of the Church, marriage is a sacrament established by God, which sanctifies marital relations, makes the marital union inseparable, imposes on those who are married the obligation to take care of each other as of themselves, and to educate their children in the spirit of faith and Christian morality. For 19 centuries, the Christian world believed in marriage as a sacrament, recognized its binding force, and how few cases there were of divorce between spouses, and there was no mention of the so-called civil marriage. Cohabitation without church blessing was considered the greatest crime, and those who allowed it were subjected to reproaches and contempt of society.

And in the course of the persecution of the Church in Soviet times, church marriage was replaced everywhere by civil marriage. A godless society has formed a corresponding attitude towards marriage. What is the result? Before our eyes, either the husband leaves his wife, or the wife runs away from her husband - and these pictures do not surprise anyone. And the "free" (from any morality) West, as it were, says: this is not the limit, divorce should be considered a matter not only permissible, but also useful. “It would be nice to change your hair and husband every 7 years,” American psychologists advise their clients, “this will bring new sensations into your life.”

In this regard, the question arises: does a civil marriage generally contain the necessary conditions for a stable happy marriage?

In order for marriage, understood in its true meaning, to be really happy, it is necessary for those who entered into marriage to constantly preserve the consciousness of its high dignity and not lose sight of the rights and duties consecrated by marriage. This is the mutual love of spouses and respect, this is not passionate love, soon transient, but love based on the fear of God, love in the image of Christ for the Church, therefore the Apostle calls: "Husbands, love your wives, just as you love the Church and give Christ to yourself for her" (Eph. 5:25).

Thus, a husband, according to the teaching of the word of God, must love his wife as Christ loves the Church, i.e. to love invariably until the end of his life, to love until he is ready to suffer and die for her, to love even if his wife did not love him, to love in order to win her over with his love. Such love is able to endure all the hardships in life, is able to make amends for the dissimilarity of characters, and the difference in external qualities, and various shortcomings, etc.

On the other hand, obedience must be inherent in the wife, along with love for her husband. Although, according to the teaching of the word of God, a husband has been given power, he should look at this power not as an advantage, but as a duty. Primacy is given by God to the husband not for the humiliation of his wife, not for dominion and dominion over her, but for the reasonable, meek management of the house. And how does the Apostle see this authority? The most gentle, disinterested, noble power. Indeed, what power can be purer and higher than the dominion of Christ over the Church? What attitude can be higher than that in which Christ and the Church are? Here is the closest relationship, the most complete spiritual unity, the most just equation of rights that can be imagined, without humiliating power and subordination.

And in a civil marriage, can such relations exist between spouses invariably, until the end of life? Without a doubt, no - this can be judged by its fragility and ease of termination.

Only passion is known to people of this age, only passion is understandable, only sensual love is pleasant. But the minutes of such love are too short and fleeting. And now the union, deprived of the main strength that holds it together, breaks up.

“From marriage - temporary happiness and even eternal salvation,” taught St. Theophan the Recluse. “Therefore, it should not be approached with frivolity, but with fear and caution. God blesses a good marriage. Therefore:

Be pious, devoted to God, in Whom you trust, pray that He Himself send the other half, pleasing to Him and saving you.

Seeking matrimonial union, do not assume evil purposes, or passionate bliss, or self-interest, or vanity; but - the one that God has determined - mutual help in temporal life for the sake of eternal life, for the glory of God and the good of others.

When you find it, accept it as a gift of God, with gratitude to God, as much with love, as much with reverence for this gift.

When the choice is over, a combination must occur, a spiritual-corporeal fusion mysterious from God.

A natural, union, out of love, is a wild, gloomy union. Here he is cleansed, sanctified, sobered through the prayer of the Church by Divine grace. It is difficult for one to stand alone in a strong and saving union. The threads of nature are torn - grace is irresistible. Arrogance is dangerous everywhere, especially here... Therefore, humbly, with fasting and prayer, approach the sacrament" ("Inscription of Christian morality").

marriage

When kind children, embarking on some path unknown to them, come to their mother and ask for her parting blessing, then the tender mother, sincerely blessing them, does not express what her sincere feelings, what heartfelt good wishes she does not pour out! Our most loving mother, St. The Church of Christ, when her obedient children - the betrothed bride and groom - appear in St. temple of God, seeking and asking for her maternal blessing on the path of married life unknown to them. Until now alien to each other, uniting, at the direction of the Providence of God that governs everything, into one couple, the bride and groom truly enter into a new family life for them, and therefore they do not know what awaits them ahead in this married life: is it joy, calmness, or any spiritual anxieties, sorrows. In this case, they need a true parting word, a true indication on the upcoming life path. And here is St. The Church, with love and triumph, accepting her married children in her arms, among her blessings, what touching prayers she does not pour out for them, what good wishes she does not proclaim to them! And she accompanies these fervent prayers, these good wishes with solemn and deeply significant rites.

According to the church charter, marriage should be performed immediately after the liturgy (Trebn.), so that the bride and groom, by reverent prayer at the liturgy, cleansing themselves through the sacraments of repentance and communion of the most holy Body and Blood of Christ, worthily prepare to receive the grace of the sacrament of marriage.

The first part of the sacrament of marriage is betrothal.

Groom in St. the temple stands on the right, and the bride on the left side - this is how the God-sanctioned rank and decency are observed: the husband is the head of the wife and in the order of standing takes precedence over his wife. Two rings for the betrothed rely close to each other on St. the throne as a sign that the spouses entrust their fate to the will of the Providence of God and from the Lord, from His holy. throne ask for a blessing on their betrothal. The bride and groom hold brightly burning candles in their hands, which testifies that their motives for marriage are the brightest, purest, free from reprehensible calculations, that marriage is a pure, holy thing, not afraid of the light, as sin and vice are afraid of this light. How light and bright candles burn - so bright, pure and chaste should be the soul of the couple; how fieryly candles burn - with such fiery love they should burn all the time of their married life for each other, for St. Church that blesses them.

The most tender parents cannot wish their beloved children as many blessings as St. Church at the celebration of the sacrament of marriage. As soon as the bride and groom entered the temple of God to ask for blessings from above for their married life, St. The Church immediately begins to send her prayers to the Lord, where she asks Him for those who marry each other: about a hedgehog to give them a child to procreate; about the hedgehog to send them love more perfect, more peaceful, and help; about the hedgehog they will remain in unanimity and firm faith; about the hedgehog bless them in a blameless residence; Oh, yes, the Lord God will grant them an honest marriage and an undefiled bed.

Then the priest takes the rings from the throne and places them on the ring fingers of the right hand of the bride and groom.

Taking first the groom's ring, he says three times: "The servant of God is betrothed (Name) servant of God (Name)". With each utterance of these words, he makes the sign of the cross over the head of the groom and puts on the ring. Then he takes the bride’s ring and says, marking the bride’s head with a cross, three times: “The servant of God is betrothed (Name) servant of God (Name)", and also puts a ring on her right hand ring finger. The bride and groom then exchange their rings three times.

The ring, according to ancient custom, served as a seal and approval; by the triple exchange of rings, the complete mutual trust of the persons of the spouses is imprinted and affirmed: from now on they entrust each other with their rights, honor and tranquility; from now on they will live for each other, they will exchange everything with each other - and this reciprocity between them will be constant, endless (as in a ring - a circle - there is no end, so the marital union must be eternal, inseparable). The groom, as evidence of his love and readiness to help the woman’s infirmities with the advantage of his strength, gives his ring to the bride, and she, as a sign of her devotion to her husband and readiness to accept help from him, mutually gives her ring to the groom.

Now the betrothed are approaching the lectern on which St. Gospel and the cross of Christ; By this, the Church inspires that in all the paths of their lives, in all undertakings and undertakings, the spouses have before their eyes the law of Christ, inscribed in the Gospel, so that in the ulcers of Christ the Savior crucified on the cross, they would seek solace for themselves amid the anxieties of life. At the same time, St. Church in the words of St. the psalmist, depicting the blissful state of God-fearing people in their marital, family life, answers the questions of the mind and heart of the newlyweds, what awaits them ahead, what share of prosperity is prepared for them. "Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in His ways" (Ps. 127:1), - this is the cornerstone, this is the secret of future family happiness, immutable, just as the word of God is immutable. So, the true happiness of the marital union depends on how the spouses will behave in relation to God and St. His commandments: if the newlyweds will revere God and walk in His ways, fulfill His commandments, then the Lord Himself, by the power of His might and wisdom, will arrange the internal and external good of their lives where those who stray from God meet only failures and sorrows ...

The betrothed bride and groom stand on one "foot" (on a spread out piece of cloth) as a sign that they will have to share the same fate in everything - both happy and unsuccessful - and publicly declare their good and unconstrained will before the cross and the Gospel for marriage. The bride and groom must enter into marriage by mutual consent and desire: their unconstrained disposition to each other serves as a guarantee of family happiness in marriage and one of the most important conditions for the legality of marriage.

However, the cordial mutual rapprochement of the groom and the bride, inspired by the word of God (Gen. 24, 57-58; 28, 1-2), should be sanctified by the blessing of the parents and those who take their place (Judg. 14, 1-3). Children act sinfully when they enter into marriage without the blessing of their parents: the prayers of the parents, their blessing, according to the testimony of the word of God, establishes the children's houses (Sir. 3, 9), i.e. strengthens the happiness and well-being of children's family life.

So, after the groom and the bride, before the face of the Lord Himself and before the whole Church, mutual consent to enter into marriage, the servant of the altar of the Lord proceeds to perform the wedding itself. Through the lips of a priest in the touching prayers of St. The Church remembers the blessed marriages of St. our forefathers and calls on those who are getting married the same blessing of the Lord, which they were honored with, prays to the Almighty to save those who are getting married, as Noah was saved in the ark, Jonah in the belly of the whale and three youths in the cave of Babylon, to grant new spouses like-mindedness of souls and bodies, long life, an unfading crown in heaven, to give from the dew of heaven from above and from the fat of the earth, wine and oil, and all good things, so that they can, "every self-satisfaction having", teach and demand. At the same time, the pastor of the Church implores the Lord to remember not only the spouses themselves, but also their parents, "beyond the prayers of the parents, the foundations of the houses are established ..."

But here came the most important, most solemn, most holy minute in all the rites of the wedding. Crowns are laid on the blessed couple - signs of royal power - and by this the blessing is given to those who are married to become ancestors, as if princes of the house, kings of all future offspring, and together they are obliged to use the granted power for the benefit of those subject to them. In addition, since in ancient times the heads of the victors were decorated with crowns, the laying of crowns on the bride and groom serves as a reward for them for their chaste life before marriage.

“Crowns,” explains St. Chrysostom, “rely on the heads of those who are getting married as a sign of victory, in order to show that they, invincible by passion before marriage, also approach the marriage bed, that is, in the state of conquerors of carnal lust. And if someone was caught by voluptuousness, gave himself up to harlots, then why should he, defeated, have a crown on his head? In fact, what should the married persons, who did not preserve their chastity before marriage, think and feel when they put on crowns?.. Should feel unworthy of crowns, and in this deep consciousness of their own unworthiness, let them take a firm intention to blot out their former sins by repentance and pious deeds. .

At the laying of crowns on the bride and groom, the servant of the Lord's altar says: "The servant of God is getting married (Name) servant of God (Name)","The servant of God is getting married (Name) servant of God (Name)", and, thrice (in honor of the Holy Trinity), blessing both, thrice proclaims the mystical words: Lord, our God, crown me with glory and honor(their)! “Lord!” the priest seems to be saying these prayerful words. “As this couple is now adorned with crowns, so adorn this marriage union throughout their life with their glory and honor, with all the gifts of Your blessing: may the new spouses shine in life with purity and holiness, as they shine their crowns - and may they be worthy of the crowns of heaven, prepared in the future life for the conquerors, conquering the crafty customs of this world and all harmful lust, given for the observance of marital fidelity, for Christian exploits.

So St. The Church secretly and effectively brings down on those who are married the grace of the All-Holy Spirit, sanctifying their marriage, the natural birth and upbringing of children. From this moment on, the groom is already the husband of his bride, the bride is the wife of her groom; from that moment on, husband and wife are bound by the indissoluble bonds of marriage, according to the immutable word of Christ the Savior: "What God has joined together, let no man separate" (Matt. 19:6).

Now it is necessary for spouses to learn their duties in relation to each other, and so the Church of Christ offers in the apostolic reading read at marriage the true teaching about the mutual duties of husband and wife. The marriage union, according to the teaching of the word of God, is a great mystery (Eph. 5:32), due to the fact that it is an imprint, reflects the spiritually grace-filled union of Christ the Savior with the Church. Pure, unchanging mutual marital love, signifying the Savior's love for the Church, is the source of all marital virtues, the source of mutual family peace and happiness; it alleviates all the difficulties, sorrows and illnesses of the marital state, it elevates the gifts of happiness and makes the needs of poverty tolerable. The husband is the head of the wife, says St. app. Paul, like Christ, is the Head of the Church (v. 23). But the Savior loved the Church so much that he gave himself up for her (v. 25), died on the cross for the sake of her holiness and innocence - so a husband must love his wife as he loves himself (v. 33), must love until he is ready to lay down , in case of need, his very life for his wife, in order to bring her true salvation. Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies, teaches the same St. Apostle: He who loves his wife loves himself (v. 28). So, a husband should be the head of his wife - but not reckless, not stupid, not windy, but a reasonable, thinking head. The husband should be the head of the wife - but not in order to torment the wife with hardness of heart, coldness, exorbitant demands (the wife is the body of the husband: if the head begins to neglect the body, then it will perish itself), - but in order to, according to the word of God , prudently treat your wife as with a weaker vessel, honoring her as a co-heir of the grace of life (1 Pet. 3, 7), in order to be always and everywhere a model for your wife and with Christian meekness to notice and correct her shortcomings. A husband should be a true friend and guardian of his inseparable companion, should seek comfort and consolation not on the side, not in other people's houses and meetings, but at home, near his wife, who left her parents' house for the sake of her husband and expects everything from him alone ...

Just as the Church obeys Christ, so do wives obey their husbands in everything, as the Lord Himself (Eph. 5; 22, 24) commands the word of God; but by no means should a wife "rule over her husband... for Adam was created first, and then Eve, and it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman, being deceived, fell into transgression" (1 Tim. 2:12-14). The Church of Christ holyly and God-fearingly fulfills the will of the Lord, and so should a wife act in relation to her husband. A wife should try to keep the honor and name of the one to whom the All-Good Provider combined her, to attract the favor of her husband not by weaving hair, nor by gold, nor by pearls, nor by valuable clothes (1 Tim. 2, 9), but by her reasonable humility, inviolable fidelity, meek suggestions, good orders in the house and all the ways that the great name of the husband's helper bestows.

Another instructive lesson is taught to spouses in the gospel reading on marriage in Cana of Galilee, which is required at the time of marriage. The poor couple, who did not have the means to save up enough wine to treat the wedding guests, was, however, worthy that the Lord Jesus Christ Himself with His Most Pure Mother honored the marriage with His presence, so that the Queen of Heaven Herself drew Her attention to her poverty and implored Her Son to help the needs of the newlyweds by the miraculous transformation of water into wine.

So, poverty does not in the least prevent Christian spouses from becoming rich in piety: a well-ordered life of a person, according to the word of Christ, does not depend on the abundance of his estate (Luke 12:15). If the newlyweds lay their main treasure in God, if they are adorned with Christian piety and fulfill the commandments of Christ all the days of their lives, then the Lord God, "worthy in Cana of Galilee to show honest marriage with His presence, He Himself will have mercy on them and fill their house with wheat, wine and oil and all goodness, grants abundant food for spouses and households, grants His holy blessing on all their labors, on villages and fields, on their houses and livestock, so that everything is multiplied and preserved ... " (trebnik).

After reading the Gospel, a new instruction is given to spouses. A cup of red wine is brought, the priest blesses it and gives the married couple to eat from it three times as a sign that from now on, during the entire subsequent married life, they should have everything in common, one desire and intention, and that they should all share among themselves in half: and happiness and misfortune, and joys and sorrows, and labors and peace, and feats and crowns for feats.

After eating from the chalice, the shepherd of the Church, joining the right hands of the spouses and covering them with the end of the stole (as a sign that they are united in Christ, and that the husband receives a wife from the Church itself through the hands of the priest), circles the newlyweds three times around the lectern, expressing their joy by this circumambulation , spiritual rejoicing. In addition, since the repeated circle is always a sign of eternity, those who are married in a circle show a sign that they will keep their marital union forever while they live, and express a vow not to dissolve the marriage for any reason. The circumambulation is performed three times to the glory of the Holy Trinity, which is thus invoked as evidence of the vow of the spouses.

At the end of the procession, crowns are removed from the newlyweds with special greetings, in which the servant of God wishes them exaltation from God, joy, multiplication of offspring and keeping the commandments of God: peace and do the commandments of God in righteousness. Then, in two subsequent prayers: "God, our God" and "Father, and Son, and Holy Spirit," the priest asks the Lord, who blessed the marriage in Cana of Galilee, to accept the crowns of the newlyweds undefiled and blameless in His Kingdom. In the second prayer, read by the priest, who is facing the bowed heads of the newlyweds, these petitions are sealed with the name of the Most Holy Trinity and the priestly blessing.

Finally, the newlyweds, husband and wife, give each other a kiss, and the wedding ceremony ends.

This is how everything is fine and for our edification in the sacrament of marriage, how everything elevates us from earth to heaven! Our Lord Jesus Christ deigned to sanctify the marriage union with the grace of the sacrament for this, so that Christian spouses, representing the mysterious image of His most holy union with the Church and the sacraments assisted by grace, would be adorned with god-like perfections.

How far from us should be every disorderly movement, every idle word, every crafty and impure thought, how reverently and attentively we must stand in the temple at the time when the blessing of the Lord is asked for the new couple, when the Lord Jesus Himself is invisibly present with us. Christ, just as He was present at the marriage in Cana of Galilee!

At the wedding celebration of St. The Church allows us joy and joy, but wants our joy and joy to be pure, holy, worthy of that great sacrament for which they are allowed. “Marriage and institution on it (feast), - says the Church of Christ to guide us, - with all quietness and honesty befitting Christians to the glory of God, let it happen, not by the goat-voicing of the devil, nor by dancing and drunkenness, even though Christians are forbidden; for marriage is a matter holy: the same and holy, they will do it worthy. "Marriage should be celebrated in a decent, Christian manner, and not in a pagan way, without nasty and seductive songs, without screams, more Sodomite than showing a Christian wedding; and also without magic and any nasty actions." “Those who have been called to marriage should dine or dine modestly, honestly and reverently, as befits Christians,” said the holy and God-bearing fathers at the cathedral in ancient times. Our modest, reverent wedding feast will be blessed by the Lord Himself, who sanctified the marriage in Cana of Galilee with His presence and the performance of the first miracle. (Priest A.V. Rozhdestvensky. "The Family of an Orthodox Christian".)

Tips for those who are getting married

In order for the wedding to become a true holiday, memorable for a lifetime, you need to take care of its organization in advance. First of all, agree on the place and time of the sacrament.

In churches where there is no pre-registration, the newlyweds agree to perform the sacrament directly on the wedding day. At the same time, the approximate time of the wedding is set, since weddings may begin only after other requirements. You can also negotiate with a specific priest.

The church will need a marriage certificate, so marriage registration in the registry office must be before the wedding.

In the first centuries of Christianity, weddings took place immediately after the Divine Liturgy. This does not happen now, but communion before the beginning of married life is extremely important. Therefore, the newlyweds need to fulfill everything necessary for communion: fasting, prayer, mutual forgiveness.

Those who wish to worthily partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ must prayerfully prepare themselves for this at least 2-3 days in advance: pray more and more diligently at home in the morning and evening, attend church services. Before the day of communion, you must be at the evening service. The rule for Holy Communion is added to home evening prayers (it includes the canons: repentance to the Lord Jesus Christ, prayer to the Most Holy Theotokos, the Guardian Angel, as well as Follow-up to Holy Communion). Fasting is combined with prayer - abstinence from fast food - meat, eggs, milk and dairy products - and if married life already takes place - abstinence from marital relations.

Newlyweds must come to the temple on the day of the wedding to the beginning of the service, eat nothing, drink or smoke the day before, from 12 o'clock at night. In the temple, the bride and groom confess, pray at the liturgy and partake of the Holy Mysteries. After that, prayers, requiems and funerals usually take about an hour. During this time, you can change into wedding clothes (if the temple has a room for this).

The presence of friends and relatives of the newlyweds at the liturgy is desirable, but, in extreme cases, they can come to the beginning of the wedding.

Taking photographs and filming a wedding with a video camera is not allowed in all temples: it is better to do without it by taking a memorable photograph against the backdrop of the temple after the sacrament.

Wedding rings must be given to the crowning priest in advance, so that he consecrates them by laying them on the throne.

Take a piece of white linen or a towel with you. Young people will stand on it.

The bride must certainly have a headdress - a veil or a scarf; cosmetics and jewelry - either absent, or in a minimal amount. Pectoral crosses are obligatory for both spouses.

According to Russian tradition, every married couple has witnesses who organize the wedding feast. They will also come in handy in the temple - to hold the crowns over the heads of the newlyweds. Witnesses must be baptized.

The church charter forbids marrying several couples at the same time, but in practice this happens. Of course, each couple would like to get married separately. But in this case, the sacrament can drag on for a long time (the duration of one wedding is 30-40 minutes). If the newlyweds are willing to wait until everyone else is married, then they will not be denied a separate sacrament. On weekdays (Monday, Wednesday, Friday) the chances of multiple couples showing up are much less than on Sundays.

Church-canonical obstacles to marriage

The conditions for concluding a marriage established by civil law and church canons have significant differences, so not every civil union registered with the registry office can be consecrated in the sacrament of marriage.

The Church does not allow fourth and fifth marriages; It is forbidden to marry persons who are in close degrees of kinship. The Church does not bless the marriage if one of the spouses (or both) declares himself a convinced atheist who came to the temple only at the insistence of the spouse or parents. You can't get married unbaptized.

You cannot marry if one of the newlyweds is actually married to another person.

Marriage between blood relatives up to the fourth degree of kinship (that is, with a second cousin or sister) is prohibited.

An ancient pious tradition forbids marriages between godparents and godchildren, as well as between two godparents of the same child. Strictly speaking, there are no canonical obstacles to this, however, at present, permission for such a marriage can only be obtained from the ruling bishop.

It is impossible to get married to those who have previously given monastic vows or accepted ordination to the priesthood.

Nowadays, the Church does not make inquiries about the age of majority, the mental and physical health of the bride and groom, the voluntary nature of their marriage, since these conditions are mandatory for registering a civil union. Of course, it is possible to hide certain obstacles to marriage from representatives of state bodies. But it is impossible to deceive God, so the main obstacle to committing an illegal marriage should be the conscience of the spouses.

The absence of parental blessing for the wedding is a very unfortunate fact, but if the bride and groom come of age, it cannot prevent the wedding. In addition, often atheist parents oppose church marriage, and in this case, the parental blessing can be replaced by a priestly one, best of all - the blessing of the confessor of at least one of the spouses.

The wedding does not take place:

During all four multi-day fasts;
- during the Cheese Week (Shrovetide);
- on the Bright (Easter) Week;
- from the Nativity of Christ (January 7) to Epiphany (January 19);
- on the eve of the twelfth holidays;
- on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays throughout the year;
- September 10, 11, 26 and 27 due to strict fasting for the Beheading of John the Baptist and the Exaltation of the Holy Cross);
- on the eve of the patronal temple days (each temple has its own).

Under extraordinary circumstances, an exception to these rules may be made with the blessing of the ruling bishop.

Superstitions related to marriage

The remnants of paganism make themselves felt by all sorts of superstitions that are kept among the people. So, there is a belief that an accidentally fallen ring or an extinguished wedding candle portends all sorts of misfortunes, a difficult life in marriage, or the early death of one of the spouses. There are also widespread superstitions that the one who is the first to step on the spread towel will dominate the family all his life, and whose candle after the sacrament turns out to be shorter, he will die earlier. Some people think that it is impossible to get married in May, "then you will toil all your life."

All these fictions should not excite the hearts, for their creator is Satan, called in the Gospel "the father of lies." And accidents (for example, the fall of the ring) must be treated calmly - anything can happen.

Second marriage succession

The Church looks at the second marriage disapprovingly and allows it only in condescension to human infirmities. Two prayers of repentance are added to the study on second marriages, there are no questions about freedom of expression. This rite is performed if both the groom and the bride marry for the second time. If one of them is married for the first time, the usual ceremony is performed.

It's never too late to get married

In godless times, many married couples formed without the blessing of the Church, but it happens that unmarried spouses remain faithful to each other all their lives, raise children and grandchildren in peace and harmony.

The Church never refuses the grace of the sacrament, even if the spouses are in their declining years. As many priests testify, those couples who marry in adulthood sometimes take the sacrament of marriage more seriously than young people. The splendor and solemnity of the wedding they are replaced by reverence and awe of the greatness of marriage.

After the newlyweds put their signatures at the registry office, many of them go to church to bless their union before God. But what does this sacrament mean, why do people get married and how does it help them in family matters?

Why do people get married in church?

Wedding in the Orthodox religion is a rite of church blessing of marriage. He came to us from pre-Christian Greece, where it was customary to decorate the heads of those who were married with wreaths of flowers as a sign of blessing. The Orthodox Church took this action as a basis and introduced Christian elements into it.

But not immediately the wedding became part of the marriage for everyone. At first, only emperors and their relatives received such an honor. Today, this rite can be passed by any couple.

During the ritual, the Priest reads prayers over the newlyweds, calling on God to help the new family and become part of it. Besides:

• The Trinity is called to help the family, she will protect the couple and help her;
• Children born to married people receive a blessing at birth;
• It is believed that the spouses who have passed the ceremony are under the protection of God, he himself leads them through life.

Therefore, many couples come to the Priest, they want strengthen your union, sanctify it and get support.

But divorce in this case, although acceptable, is considered a great sin. We recommend that you consider this step, decide whether to ask the Lord for blessings or wait and check your feelings.

How to prepare for the ritual?

Need to do some conditions, before going to the Priest for a blessing:

1. It is advisable to start fasting 3 days before the event, more is possible, but three days are required. You should give up food of animal origin, alcohol, intimacy is also undesirable these days;
2. From clothes, a man can choose a regular suit - trousers and a shirt. But the girl will have to choose the right dress. It should not expose the knees, chest, light colors are preferred. Many girls wear wedding dresses, but this is not necessary, it is possible to choose others, but modest ones;
3. A woman's face should not be hidden behind a veil. This symbolizes her openness to God.

This ordinance takes place not any day. The church will set a specific date for you. But this will definitely not happen on the eve of great holidays, during fasts, Baptism and Exaltation, Easter or Bright Week.

In addition, the day of the week is also important. Not suitable for wedding

• Tuesday;
• Thursday;
• Saturday.

However, if the situation so requires, the Priest has the right to perform the ceremony on forbidden days, and it will be recognized as legal.

How is the wedding going?

Young at first need to get engaged. The betrothal begins after the Liturgy, at which the couple is instilled with the importance of what is happening. After the Priest blesses the bride and groom three times, the young are baptized three times and receive candles from the minister.

Then the beloved stand in front of the lectern on a pink or white board and confirm to the Holy Father their consent to what is happening. As a sign of acceptance of their consent, three prayers are said to Jesus Christ and the Trinity.

The right hands of the newlyweds are connected by the hand of the minister, and he says prayers for the glory of the newlyweds, for their happiness and health. At this time, the entire procession goes around the lectern three times, which means the eternal joint journey that began today for the couple.

At the end, young people lightly kiss on the lips, approach the gates of God and venerate the icons. Everything, the sacrament is completed. Then the wedding couple can go with the guests to the festive table.

In what cases can a divorce be issued?

Orthodoxy is extremely negative attitude towards divorce. But there are times when this is indispensable, and in 1918 a list of possible causes was created. Later it was somewhat expanded and today it looks like this:

• treason;
• Entering into a new marriage;
• Rejection of the Orthodox faith;
• Disappearance of one of the spouses for a period of 3 years or more;
• assault;
• Incurable mental or sexually transmitted diseases;
• Alcohol or drug addiction;
• Imprisonment;
• Performing an abortion without the consent of the husband.

Anyone can apply for debunking from a couple. You need to come to the temple with the following documents:

• Passport;
• wedding certificate;
• Divorce certificate;
• All kinds of certificates confirming illness or other reasons for debunking.

No rituals are performed on this occasion, the Bishop considers the petition and, if he considers it justified, bless the termination.

We answered the question why people get married, told how the process goes and how to prepare for it. But I would like to note that, first of all, mutual respect and understanding should live in the family. If a couple lacks these two important qualities, no blessing will help them.

Video: why do you need a wedding?

In this video, Archpriest Yevgeny Larionov will tell you why to seal the marriage union before God, how important the sacrament of the Wedding is for the couple and for the church:

The birth of a Christian family is accomplished with the blessing of the Church, which unites the two into a single whole in the sacrament of the wedding. There is a special providence of God for such a family, since at its foundation lies the gospel commandment of love.

What does a Christian need to know about this church sacrament, how to prepare for it? This will be our story, intended for the bride and groom preparing for the wedding, or unmarried spouses who lived side by side, perhaps until the golden jubilee. We invite them all to think about a simple question that our great-great-grandmothers and great-great-grandfathers knew so well - For what do people get married?

WHY WAS THE WEDDING PERSECUTED BY THE ENEMIES OF THE CHURCH?

Many of our readers, if not present at the church wedding, certainly have an idea about it from numerous films.

First of all, I remember the princess-bride in a snow-white wedding dress. Burning candles, jubilant chants and church prayers. Solemn procession behind the priest around the lectern under the shadow of royal crowns. A bell chime falling from the sky, glorifying the union of love. Many flowers and a stream of joy overflowing on this special day, when before God and people the two first appeared as husband and wife.

The older generation still remembers how the solemn registration took place in the wedding palace or the regional registry office, accompanied by Mendelssohn's wedding march. And only a few, after the registry office, dared to get married in secret ...

The era of fierce persecution of the Church is now attributed to the affairs of bygone days: the destruction of temples, the persecution of the clergy, the eradication of faith itself. Our memory does not bleed when faced with the fact of recent reality, when one enterprising leader of the people presumptuously "prophesied" how "the last priest would be shown on television."

This is how the enemies of Christ acted, consistently implementing their monstrous plan for the destruction of Russia, the stronghold of Orthodoxy.

The autocratic power was trampled, the family of the last sovereign of Russia was slandered and shot, so that their icon-painting faces, given to us forever the true image of Christian marriage, would disappear forever from the face of the earth and our memory. A satanic destructive stereotype of human relations begins to take hold. Herodias becomes the ideal of the new woman.

As you know, she was from the Maccabean family and the granddaughter of Herod the Great. She was looking for royal honors and power, which she did not have in her marriage to Herod Philip, her cousin uncle. The blood of many evil and voluptuous ancestors mixed in her veins. She persuaded her husband's brother Herod Antipas, ruler of Galilee, to adulterous marriage.

Being publicly denounced by John the Baptist for violating the law, she, harboring malice, looked for an opportunity to deal with the holy prophet. The instrument of revenge was her daughter Salome. On the day of the anniversary of Herod's accession to the throne, she pleased the ruler and all the guests with her dance, and therefore Herod publicly promised Salome any reward, even up to half of his kingdom. Here is how F.V. Farrar describes the events that followed.

“The delighted girl ran to consult with her mother, and it was then that Herodias had the opportunity to satisfy her bloodthirsty vindictiveness. “Ask,” she said, for the head of John the Baptist, so that they would immediately give you the head of this hated prophet on a platter. Herod listened to this request with horror. She sobered him, because she went against all his best convictions. Had he been capable of any courage, he could easily have dismissed this request as being inconsistent with the purpose of his promise. But the false fear of people and the thirst for approval, the passion for popularity, the vanity of power - all this suppressed the best motives in him. An executioner was sent into prison, a sword flashed, and, at the request of a shameless maiden, at the instigation of an adulteress distraught with hatred, due to the conceited weakness of the criminal king, the head of the greatest of those born by women was cut off! This head, laid on a bloody dish, was brought to the princess, and she took it to her mother, who poured out all her hatred over her, to which only a worthless angry woman was capable of "(F.V. Farrar. From the chapter" Herodes "in the book "Conscience and the Fall", St. Petersburg, 1998, pp. 120-121).

Subsequently, all three - Herod Antipas, Herodias and her daughter Salome accepted a painful death as God's retribution for the death of the holy prophet of the Lord John the Baptist.

Holy Scripture teaches unreasonable mankind about the ways of a righteous life - “for the Lord knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish” (Ps. 1:6). And all the same, since the time the world has been standing, humanity has repeatedly fallen into a trap set by the spirits of malice in high places. “You will be like gods,” a seductive whisper is heard. And the light of reason is fading. Where will the scales of free human will now tip? Destroy the Church and the family, and a person will get lost in a dark forest.

This is not the first time in the history of Christianity that blood has been shed. But the enemies of God cannot overcome the Church. And on the blood of the martyrs, faith is resurrected again. Indestructible is the love for Christ of all those who gave their lives to Him and followed Him, taking up their cross. “God is love,” testifies the Apostle John the Theologian (1 John 4:8). Therefore, Christianity itself is a religion of sacrificial love, which has two ways: either consecrate oneself to God and leave the world to pray for it, or, while in the world, keep a blessed marriage, honoring God’s commandment: “and God said to them: be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it” (Gen. 1:28). And God gave a promise to future mankind that “the seed of the woman will wipe out the head of the serpent” (Gen. 3:15), seeing through the millennia the modest face of the Most Pure Virgin from the house of Joachim and Anna.

And so the God-Manhood was accomplished. The first thing the Savior did when he entered the path of service was to bless the married couple in Cana of Galilee. According to church tradition, it was the wedding of Simon the Zealot, who was shocked by a miracle that happened - the transformation of water into fine wine. “Here is He, promised by God, the long-awaited Messiah!” revealed to him that day.

Since then, every marriage is performed with the blessing of the Church, the Head of which is the Lord Himself. Moreover, Christian marriage creates its own invisible small church, the head of which is the husband, who stands before the Lord for all his household members. Each of our prayerful sighs is known to God. We just need to be able to give place to God's care for us and not forget - "whatever a man sows, that he will also reap: he who sows to his own flesh from the flesh will reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit from the Spirit will reap eternal life" (Gal. 6: 7-8) .

And if a husband and wife are outside the church fence, their life passes among the raging passions that reign in this world and destroy fragile human structures. Enmity and quarrels, jealousy and adultery alternate in him in a vicious circle, from which there is no way out for those who reject God's help. This is evidenced by the growing wave of divorces, dooming both children and adults to loneliness.

KEEP HONOR YOUNG

We all know this proverb, set by Pushkin as an epigraph to the story "The Captain's Daughter". But it was an epigraph to the very life of a Russian person, to his whole way of life and being.

Alexander Vasilievich Suvorov therefore multiplied the glory of Russian weapons, because the famous words of the commander: "My daughter's chastitydearer to me than life and my own honor, were not only the words of a loving father. They testified to the deep invincibility of his spirit. Therefore, the Suvorov army was invincible, because it lived according to the gospel commandments, constituting a single spiritual whole with its commander. She could always fearlessly go to her death “For God, the Tsar and the Fatherland!”. And this made our state strong, in which the Orthodox people lived and believed in this way.

How important it is for us today to touch with our souls this patriarchal chastity, faithfully preserving the pious customs of our ancestors. They built their lives according to the word of God. Then neither grandfathers nor grandchildren parted with the lives of the saints. The spiritual heritage of the holy fathers and teachers of the Church was a source of innermost thoughts about oneself and about life. The life-giving word of Holy Scripture and Holy Tradition was conceived as an incorruptible treasure of the spirit.

So the modern pastoral word explores and verifies our fleeting and changing life by the eternal word of God, which guides the priest, who is always at the epicenter of human problems. For this, like the apostles, the “words of eternal life” are revealed to him.

“In the old days, concern for a future wedding did not overtake parents suddenly. Almost from birth, they collected a dowry estate for the girl, figured out the worries of her son's marriage. In rich houses of the upper classes, various benefits were recorded for children: villages, houses, money was saved. In a peasant family, the girl was preparing a styling-chest: fur coats, blankets, dresses, towels. The guy was saving up for the wedding. Without renouncing the division, they tried to prepare an extra sleigh, buy a forest, a tool. Already the baby had his own property: it was customary to give “by the tooth”, and later “money” for the name day for the future household. Thus, from childhood, the child, meeting with objects and conversations related to his future marriage, thought about an independent family life.

Wedding celebrations were the brightest event in a series of family holidays. They stood out for their long and well-established rituals, very special and magnificent dresses. Gifts. Songs. It didn't last one day. There were many guests at the wedding. It also had educational value. An older sister or aunt, a neighbor in a wedding dress, “like a princess”, became the center of attention of the whole family, the whole street, the parish. The girl looked, mentally trying on such an unusual care and love of loved ones and, of course, a rich dress. The boy looked at an older relative or brother friend and also thought about the unprecedented honor with which the groom is surrounded. Hoping to experience the same someday. In conversations, the children discussed wedding gifts for a long time, the list of which, by ordinary chance, became the property of relatives and neighbors.

These gifts also captivated the children's imagination. “Why, why does he have such respect and gifts? What did he do that he deserved? thought the child. They asked mother and father. “You will be hardworking and modest, and you will be married. We will sew you a beautiful dress. “Be a good helper to your father, don’t be lazy, don’t be mischievous - they’ll give a good girl for you,” my mother probably answered. From gifts and boots, the child's attention switched to virtues. Virtue received a real reward - the right to be an enviable bride, an enviable groom. Sin also had a visible and tangible punishment. “Who will take you, clumsy ?!”, “Who will they give for you, unlucky ?!”.

Once upon a time, the attention of our compatriots was not so scattered. Anxiety for the health of the pope or an unprecedented flood in Brazil did not disturb the hearts. But more spiritual strength remained for their own, family affairs and concerns. For the future marriage of a son or daughter, serious preparations were made. Morality, industriousness, religiosity, household skills, neatness, health, obedience to parents, the fun of possible applicants for relatives did not escape the attention of others. All impressions and information fit into the memory before the time, then to make the only right choice for the happy fate of a daughter or son. They also tried to give a look to their “goods”, so that later there would be no reproaches from relatives. “Mother made me wash it five times. She ran a handkerchief around the corners, checking if it was clean. She said: “When you get married, it will be a sin on me that I raised a slut.” You won’t linger at the gate either, they will definitely shout from the house that there’s nothing, they say, to look out for the street, ”one woman told about her upbringing.

Both boys and girls remembered that “good fame lies, and bad fame runs,” and tried not to give a reason for bad fame, because the retribution for a prank in the future could be a shameful refusal during matchmaking, or even loneliness.

The fact that a teenager's thoughts often turned to a future marriage does not mean that he developed carnal daydreams. There was nothing lustful in these thoughts. The wedding attracted the imagination of the young by highlighting, revealing to those around them the real dignity of a person. Not everyone could realize this, but everyone felt it ”(Priest Sergius Nikolaev. To the grooms and brides. M., p. 5-9).

So slowly lived Mother Russia, accommodating in her every day the simple wisdom of pious being, inherited from generation to generation, firmly knowing that without this it is impossible to calmly look into the future. This is a lesson to all young people and all parents who should know that in order to be with burning candles at the lectern, the bride and groom will need their whole life under their parents' roof. From the way of life that exists in the paternal house of the bride and groom, subsequently the main wealth of the new family is formed.

ABOUT PARENTAL BLESSING, OR WHO CHOOSE THE BRIDE?

There were times when the bride and groom first met only in the church at the wedding. Parental blessing and will were an indisputable law. The obedience and piety of children was rewarded by the Lord Himself.

In order to find out the will of God, it used to be that the whole family prayed for a long time at the holy relics of God’s saints, ordered prayers from miraculous icons, went to monasteries to spiritual elders, to whom the human heart is open and God’s providence for those who ask for advice is visible. Such a conversation is known between the Monk Seraphim of Sarov and the benefactor of the Diveevo monastery, Nikolai Alexandrovich Motovilov, which took place in October 1831.

Motovilov told the elder his innermost secret. For more than ten years, his heart has been given to the pious maiden Ekaterina Mikhailovna Yazykova. But the marriage did not work out in any way, which made Nikolai Aleksandrovich unusually sad, since in the image of his first love he found for himself a truly Christian ideal of a self-sacrificing female heart and did not think to look for or wish for anyone else.

The Monk Seraphim listened to him with attention, asking about everything in detail. And unexpectedly he told Motovilov that the bride, who was destined for him from God, is now still small, she is only a little over eight years old. And then the elder revealed to the astonished Nikolai Alexandrovich those circumstances that would serve their acquaintance in the future and further happy marriage.

“After all, it’s different, your love of God, to ask the Lord God to foretell someone a bride, as you, for example, are asking now that I, a wretched one, ask the Lord to foretell Yazykov as a bride, but it’s different when the Lord is already Himself to whom you have deigned to name a bride, as, for example, for your love of God. Your bride is now no more than eight years old and three or four or five months old. Believe me, this is exactly true, and I myself, poor Seraphim, testify to you in this I'm ready... I'm not talking about the present time, but about the future. After all, I told you that life is great, and a lot happens in life. vilify her for you, then then do not forget the requests and prayers of the wretched Seraphim - marry this girl!

“And the Father bowed for the third time to me, a sinner, to the face of the earth, and again I fell at his feet.

Standing up and looking directly into my eyes, Father Seraphim began to look at me vigilantly and, as if looking into my very soul, asked:

- Well, father, will you fulfill the request of the wretched Seraphim?

And I said

If God deigns to fulfill, then I will try to do as you wish!

“Well,” Father Seraphim said, “thank you!” Don't forget this girl!... And she, I tell you, poor Seraphim, she is like an angel of God both in soul and in flesh..

“But maybe you will be embarrassed when I tell you her title? .. She is a simple peasant woman! .. But do not be embarrassed by this, your love of God: she is your sister according to our forefather Adam, and according to our Lord Jesus Christ!

At the indicated time, Motovilov still had no idea either about Diveev, or about the role that, over time, he was to play in the fate of this last lot on earth of the Queen of Heaven.

Elena Milyukova, an eight-year-old girl at that time, could even less suspect that someday she would marry, and even a rich nobleman, who in the future would stand at nothing to fulfill the covenant of her Father, and in a worldly appearance would become that servant of the Mother of God and Serafimov, as he later became by the wondrous sight of God ”(Nikolai Alexandrovich Motovilov and the Diveevo Monastery. Edition of the Holy Trinity-Seraphim-Diveevo Convent, 1999, p. 42,45-46,48.)

Since marriages are made in heaven, it means that one must learn to hear the will of God about oneself, which is revealed to a Christian through the prayerful life of his heart turned to God.

ABOUT THE BLESSING OF THE SPIRITUAL

When the question of marriage is decided by church people, then the blessing of the spiritual father or the parish priest is necessary, with whom the bride and groom usually confess.

Obedience to the confessor helps to avoid those mistakes that are so often made due to the lack of life and spiritual experience.

WHEN DOES A WEDDING OCCUR IN THE CHURCH?

For a church wedding, the bride and groom must choose a day to perform the sacrament of the wedding and first agree with the priest. You need to know that marriage takes place on special days established by the church - on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. The exception is the days on the eve of the Twelve, temple and great holidays. And also in continuation of all posts: Veliky, Petrov, Uspensky and Rozhdestvensky.

In continuation of Christmas time - from January 7 to January 20, during Maslenitsa, as well as during Bright Week; on the eve and on the day of the memory of the Beheading of John the Baptist - September 11; on the eve and on the feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross - September 27.

The wedding itself is a separate service performed in the church after the liturgy. On the same day or the day before, the bride and groom partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ in order to proceed to the sacrament of the wedding in spiritual purity.

“Our Divine Liturgy, and especially the Eucharist, is the greatest and constant revelation to us of the love of God! - testifies the shepherd of God, holy righteous John of Kronstadt.

For the bride and groom who are preparing to create a new family - a home church - being in the Divine service, especially on such a day for them, is the best spiritual strengthening. After all, the Lord Himself receives them at His wedding feast, which is the Holy Eucharist. It is no coincidence that in the Gospel the Kingdom of Heaven is more than once likened to marriage and a wedding feast.

ABOUT THE SYMBOLISM OF WEDDING RINGS

The sacrament of the wedding is preceded by the betrothal of the bride and groom. In the old days, it was performed separately from the wedding and was a test of fidelity and love, the pledge of which was wedding rings.

The very word “betrothal”, as indicated by the explanatory dictionary of V.I. "hoop", or "ring", which is an ancient symbol of eternity. And since the purpose of marriage is to achieve an imperishable image of eternity, then an indispensable condition for its completion is the exchange of rings between the bride and groom.

In the ancient Church, the bishop, performing the betrothal blessing, offered the following prayerful wish:

“Bless, Lord, this ring... for as it crowns the finger of a man... so let the grace of the Holy Spirit surround the bride and groom, so that they see sons and daughters up to the third and fourth generation, who may praise Your name.”

Metropolitan Anthony of Surozh describes the origin of the confidential exchange of rings between the bride and groom during the betrothal:

“In ancient times, people often did not know how to write, but could only certify a letter or document with a seal; and the decisive role was played by the ring on which there was a personal seal. The document sealed by this ring was undeniable. This ring is mentioned in the betrothal service. When a person gave a ring to another, it meant that he trusted him unconditionally, that he trusted him with his life, his honor, his property - everything. And when those who are getting married exchange rings (I say exactly they exchange, because each of them first puts on the ring and then passes it on to his spouse three times, before leaving it on his hand) - when the spouses exchange rings, they seem to say to each other: “I trust you unconditionally, I trust you in everything, I myself I trust you...” (Metropolitan Anthony of Surozh. Sacrament of Love. Talk about Christian marriage. St. Petersburg, 1999, p. 29-30.)

Thus, the rings testify to the indissolubility of the marriage union, and “what the Lord has combined, let no man separate” (Matthew 19.6). This commandment has always been in the hearts of those who built their family happiness with prayer to the Lord, and not according to human wisdom.

In the old days, the groom's ring was gold as a sign that he, like the sun, should shine on his wife with the light of prudence and piety. The bride's ring is silver, like the moon, which borrows its light from her husband and must submit to him.

Also, the groom's ring can be copper, which corresponds to the yellow color, and the bride's - pewter, as a reminder of white. (Priest A.V. Rozhdestvensky. “The Family of an Orthodox Christian”, 1994, p. 114.)

WHAT DO THE LIT CANDLES IN THE HANDS OF THE BRIDE AND GROOM MEAN?

Before the start of the betrothal, the priest gives the newlyweds burning candles, called wedding candles, which are not extinguished during the entire time of the wedding. They symbolize the purity of marriage according to the word of the Gospel: “But he who does what is right comes to the light, so that his deeds may be manifest, because they are done in God” (John 3.21).

Thus, the bride and groom, “as children of the light,” according to the words of the Apostle Paul (Eph. 5:8), testify to everyone that they are pure and chaste before God. The flame of candles illuminates the beginning of a new life, where light is the source of God's holiness. Union in the Lord necessarily attracts the grace of God. “Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there I am in the midst of them” (Matthew 18:20). The bride is handed over to the groom and the husband receives her from God and His Church, according to the word of blessed Simeon. (Works of Blessed Simeon, Archbishop of Thessaloniki, St. Petersburg, 1856, p. 353.) All brides are beautiful, like snow-white lilies. They delight the eye and gladden the heart. It is no coincidence that the Archangel Gabriel appeared to the Virgin Mary with a lily flower - a symbol of chastity and purity.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

When the bride and groom stand with lighted candles, the priest performs the cruciform censing of the newlyweds. Thus, he calls on them the grace of the Holy Spirit, reminding us of the events from the Old Testament book of Tobit, which tells of the marriage of Tobias, the son of Tobit, to the daughter of Raguel Sarah, destined for him by God as a wife. And in order for the will of God to be done, an evil spirit was near Sarah, which kills all the suitors, leading both the bride and her parents to despair.

Tobiah and Sarah fervently prayed that the Lord would bless their marriage. The prayer of the newlyweds was heard. The Archangel Raphael, who brought Tobias to his bride's house, taught him how to drive away the enemy force with censing (Book of Tobit, chapters 6-8.). Thus, cruciform incense means the invisible, mysterious presence with us of the grace of the Holy Spirit, sanctifying us for good deeds.

HOW IS THE ENGAGEMENT PERFORMED?

When the priest burns the bride and groom, standing with burning candles in the temple, the Church lifts up prayers, asking God for the peace that the newlyweds need, prays for sending them perfect love and help, grace for immaculate residence, for only the One God grants an honest marriage and a bed bad. The Church prays for deliverance from all sorrow, anger and need, turns to the Most Blessed Lady of the Most Holy Theotokos for intercession and salvation.

In her prayers, the Church again brings us back to the times of the Old Testament. We remember Isaac and Rebekah, whom the Lord Himself chose for each other. And the priest, citing them as an example, asks God's blessings for the betrothal of the bride and groom coming here, so that "the union of love can be made unbreakable for them."

Then the priest blesses first the bridegroom and then the bride three times crosswise with the rings that were consecrated on the holy throne of this church.

The priest accompanies the first step of the union of the bridegroom and the bride with the words: “The servant of God (the name of the groom is called) is betrothed to the servant of God (the name of the bride is called) in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and forever and forever and ever. Amen". And then he addresses the bride with the same words: “The servant of God (calls her name) is betrothed to the servant of God (calls his name) in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and forever and forever and ever. Amen".

The marital union bears in itself a pledge of unity and eternity. The rings are put on the fingers of the right hands, signifying a blessing on every good deed - "... and the right hand of Your servant will be blessed" - says the text of the prayer read by the priest after the betrothal. The rings testify to the grace-filled help in preserving marital love, unfading thanks to God's mercy.

WHAT DOES THE WHITE CLOTH UNDER THE FEET OF THE GROOM AND THE BRIDE MEAN?

With the singing of the psalm of King David “Blessed are all who fear the Lord...” the bride and groom with lit candles go to the middle of the temple and stand in front of the lectern, on which lie the Holy Gospel and the cross of Christ. By this, the Church shows that in all the ways of their lives, in all undertakings, spouses must follow the gospel commandments. And the Cross of Christ the Savior should strengthen them spiritually in carrying their own cross commanded by the Lord to all Christians.

Under the feet of the newlyweds, a white towel or white cloth is a symbol of unity and the joy of inseparable residence in marriage. Like the bride's wedding dress, this snow-white fabric speaks of the purity and chastity of those entering into marriage, that their thoughts, feelings and deeds are also impeccable in relation to each other and to the Lord.

WHAT DO THE GROOM AND THE BRIDE MAKE VOWS TO GOD AT THE WEDDING?

When church hymns cease and it becomes quiet in the temple, the priest addresses the instructive word of the Church to the bride and groom, which prepares them for the pronunciation of marriage vows.

Vows are given by believers either in gratitude to the Lord for the provided heavenly help, or when praying for God's help. Violation of the vows made to God constitutes a sin against the third commandment of the Law of God: "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain."

Therefore, before the vows are pronounced, the priest asks the newlyweds, starting with the groom: “Do you (calls his name) have a good will and unconstrained and strong idea to take yourself as a wife (calls the name of the bride) ...” The consent of the groom testifies that from now on he is ready to take full responsibility for his family on his shoulders and will take care of both his wife and children, with whom the Lord will bless their union, from now on he recognizes himself as the head of the family in the image of Christ, who is the Head of the Church, for whose indescribable love ascended Calvary Cross.

And the next question of the priest: “Did you not promise another bride?” The negative answer of the groom testifies to his prudence and a clear conscience, fidelity and readiness to be the steward of his family, as a servant of Christ and steward of the Mysteries of God (1 Corinthians 4:1-2): “From stewards it is required that everyone should be faithful.”

The same questions are offered by the priest and the bride: “Do you have a good and unconstrained will, and a firm thought, take this (groom’s name) as your husband ...” By her answer, the bride testifies that she knows the calling of her wife and mother and she is ready to be faithful an assistant to her husband, a loving wife and a virtuous mother, according to the words of the wise Solomon: “Who will find a virtuous wife? Her price is higher than pearls; her husband’s heart is confident in her, and he will not be left without profit; she rewards him with good, and not evil, all the days his life” (Prov. 31:10-11).

The bride’s answers: “I have, honest father”, “I didn’t promise, honest father” also testify to her good temper and piety, her readiness to be a reliable support in life for her husband and children.

The marriage vows of the bride and groom confirm before God and the Church the voluntariness and inviolability of their intentions. In a Christian marriage, such testimony is the main condition for recognizing the bride and groom as husband and wife.

“YESI PUT THE CROWN ON THE HEADS...”

When the wedding vows are pronounced by the bride and groom, the priest proceeds to perform the sacrament of the wedding. Like any church action, it begins with a prayerful petition, invoking the blessing and mercy of God on all those who pray. The priest remembers the God-blessed marriages of the holy forefathers and calls on the future family the blessing of the Lord, which Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and Rachel, Joseph and Aseneth, Zechariah and Elizabeth were honored with; the priest recalls the blessing of the married couple by the Lord in Cana of Galilee and asks Him, who is invisibly coming here, to bless the union of God's servants, whose names he loudly calls and prays for the gift of a peaceful and long married life, blessing to future children and well-being to the whole house.

In the next prayer, the priest prays to the Lord to save the couple, as Noah and his whole family were saved in the ark, as Jonah miraculously escaped in the belly of the whale, and the three youths in the cave of Babylon found heavenly coolness in the fire.

And now comes the moment of mystery, when the priest places crowns on the blessed couple - a sign of royal power.

The priest, taking the crown, marks the bridegroom with a crucifix and gives him to kiss the image of the Savior, attached to the front of the crown and consecrating him. When crowning the bridegroom, the priest says: “The servant of God (calls his name) is married to the servant of God (calls the name of the bride) in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.”

Having blessed the bride in the same way and allowing her to venerate the image of the Most Holy Theotokos that adorns her crown, the priest crowns her, saying: “The servant of God (the name of the bride) is married to the servant of God (the name of the groom) in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.”

By laying on crowns, the Church gives the bride and groom a special honor for the spiritual feat of maintaining chastity before marriage.

At the exclamation of the priest: “Lord our God, crown (them) with glory and honor,” the sacrament of marriage is performed. The Church proclaims those who are married to be the founders of a new Christian family - a small church. The church blessing marks the eternity and indissolubility of the born union: “What God has combined, let no man separate” (Matt. 19:6).

WHO ARE THE WITNESSES AT A WEDDING?

When the priest places crowns on the head of the bride and groom, they are received and held by their godparents, or witnesses. Behind the bride is her friend, and behind the groom is her friend. They are prayerful guardians of this marriage, spiritual mentors, therefore “they must be Orthodox and God-loving” (Composition of Blessed Simeon, Archbishop of Thessaloniki, 1856, St. Petersburg, p. 357.), Blessed Simeon adds.

WHAT DO THE WORD OF THE HOLY APOSTLE PAUL AND THE GOSPEL READING ABOUT THE MARRIAGE Feast IN CANA OF GALILEE TEACH A HUSBAND AND A WIFE?

Both the word of the Apostle Paul to the church community of Ephesus and the gospel reading about the feast in Cana of Galilee speak of the main thing - of obedience as an immutable law of all relationships between Christians.

“Whatever He tells you, do it,” says the Mother of God. And behold, they did as it was said, and suddenly they found wine in the vessels in abundance.

And the holy Apostle Paul calls on believers: “Submit to one another in the fear of God” (Eph. 5:21). That is, for the sake of Christ, for the sake of love for Him. And peace enters their homes and hearts, and the Lord blesses them, granting them earthly and heavenly blessings.

According to St. John Chrysostom, not only temporary happiness, but even eternal salvation depends on marriage (On Christian marriage and the duties of husband and wife. Teachings of St. John Chrysostom., 1995, p. 8.). And how much a person gains when he builds his life on selfless love for his neighbor. This is taught by the word of God, which is proclaimed in the temple during the wedding. And the word of the Apostle Paul testifies that marriage is a sacrament: “Therefore a man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This mystery is great” (Eph. 5:31-32).

The marriage union is like the indissoluble unity of Christ and His Bride-Church, going in the name of love for each other to a voluntary sacrifice on the cross. The Lord, in the name of love and salvation of mankind, ascends to Golgotha. The Church, whose faithful children, by life for the glory of God and by death for the holy Orthodox faith, testified to their love for God throughout two millennia of unceasing spiritual warfare.

WHAT DOES THE DRINKING OF WINE FROM A COMMON BOWL DURING THE MYSTERY OF THE WEDDING SYMBOLIZE?

After reading the Gospel, the Church again lifts up its prayers for the newlyweds. Then the priest brings a cup of wine and, having blessed it, gives it to the newlyweds. The bride and groom take turns drinking from it to commemorate from now on their inseparable being, both spiritual and bodily, and also as evidence of their unity in good thinking about God.

ABOUT WALKING AROUND THE ANALOY

Then the priest joins the right hands of the spouses as a sign of their unity in Christ and covers them with the end of the stole, which symbolizes the handing over to the husband through the hands of the priest of the wife from the Church Itself. Then he, holding a cross in his hands, circles them three times around the lectern, on which lies the Gospel. The circle at all times served as a sign of eternity, therefore walking around the lectern symbolizes the indissolubility of the concluded union. It is performed three times in honor of the Holy Trinity.

Following the priest, the newlyweds sing church troparia, the meaning of which reveals the hidden meaning of their marriage as unity in Christ to serve God.

“Isae rejoice, Virgin in the womb, and give birth to the son of Emmanuel, God and man, the east is His name: He is great, we bless the Virgin.”

Thus the Church sings of the most joyful event in the universe — the Nativity of Christ. This hymn, in the context of what is happening at the moment in the temple, reveals to the newlyweds that the birth of their family is now in the series of church events and has the same goal as the God-manhood - the salvation of each other for eternal life with Christ.

Then the troparion “Holy martyr, who suffered well and was married, pray to the Lord, have mercy on our souls” is sung.

This is a prayerful appeal to those who accepted voluntary suffering, which brought the crown of martyrdom, and through this were made worthy of the Kingdom of Heaven. The Church thus tells us that good spouses, through the patience of sorrows, are likened to Christians who have acquired crowns of martyrdom for their feat on the cross of confessing faith in Christ.

At the end, the troparion “Glory to Thee, Christ God, praise of the apostles, joy of the martyrs, their preaching, consubstantial Trinity” is sung.

This hymn recalls that the path of the gospel of Christ awaits every Christian, for according to the words of the Apostle Paul: “The heart believes unto righteousness, the mouth confesses unto salvation” (Rom. 10:10). Following this path, the husband and wife must first of all be a worthy example for their children and faithful helpers to each other.

THE PARTING WORD OF THE CHURCH

In the old days, the newlyweds stayed for seven days covered with crowns, and only on the eighth day they were allowed to leave the temple with a special order. In modern practice, the removal of the crowns takes place at the end of the solemn procession. The priest says a short prayer about this. But for the rest of their lives, these crowns will invisibly adorn the husband and wife, if they always follow the truth of God, keep peace and love for each other.

The wedding concludes with a special prayer for the newlyweds, in which the priest asks the Lord for a blessing for their whole life, as well as goodness and longevity. He also addresses the Mother of God, who asked the Lord for mercy for the newlyweds in Cana of Galilee.

In this prayer petition, the divinely crowned saints Equal-to-the-Apostles Empress Helena and Tsar Constantine, who are especially revered by the Church, are also remembered. They were the first of the earthly kings to accept the Christian faith and affirm it as the state faith, bringing the entire universe subject to them into the bosom of the Holy Church of Christ.

In prayer for the newlyweds, the Church addresses the Holy Great Martyr Procopius, who, by his sufferings for Christ, inspired twelve noble women to acquire the crowns of martyrdom, who ascended the cross as if at a wedding feast.

By such examples, the newlyweds are called by the Church to keep apostolic zeal in their hearts and serve God with their labors, for from now on they are a small church, blessed on the day of their wedding by our Lord Jesus Christ.

“Many and good years ...” the Church sings to the newlyweds, and the priest addresses them with a pastoral word, which they must listen with special attention, for on a whim during the performance of the sacrament, the priest speaks a word not so much from himself, but revealed to him by the Lord through the grace of the priesthood, says exactly what is important for those who stand before him and before God. His word will be about the most necessary in the field of family life, where they are called to serve their neighbors and God.

(Matthew 5:32).

WHAT CAN HIND THE CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE?

The Orthodox Church considers civil marriage devoid of grace as a human dispensation, but as a fact it recognizes and does not consider it illegal cohabitation. However, the conditions for concluding a marriage under civil law and according to church canons differ. Not every civil marriage can be consecrated by the Church.

The Church does not allow marriage more than three times, while civil law allows fourth and fifth marriages, which the Church does not bless.

A wedding is impossible if one of the spouses is not baptized and is not going to be baptized before the wedding, or if one of the spouses came to the wedding at someone else's will.

A wedding is not possible if one of the spouses is actually married to another person. This requires the dissolution of a civil marriage, and if the marriage was church, it is imperative to take the permission of the bishop to dissolve it and the blessing to enter into a new marriage.

An obstacle to marriage is the blood or spiritual relationship of the bride and groom. If they are christening recipients of the same person, then their marriage cannot be blessed by the Church.

ABOUT THE WEDDING MEAL

The Holy Church warns against irreverent behavior after the sacrament of the wedding, both the newlyweds themselves and the invited guests. Canon 53 of the Council of Laodicea says: “It is not fitting for those who go to marriage to skip or dance, but to dine and dine modestly, as befits Christians.” The wedding feast should be free from all intemperance and indecency. Witnesses at the wedding should take care of this, who, according to Russian custom, are both honored guests and pious reasonable hosts at the wedding celebration.

ABOUT MARRIED LIFE

The decree of one of the Councils of Carthage says: "The bride and groom, upon receiving a blessing, must spend the next night in virginity out of reverence for the blessing received."

The Church condemns the intemperate conduct of the "honeymoon" by young spouses. Their restraint and moderation will be rewarded with quiet joy and happiness of the first days of a new, joint life.

Also, abstinence is required according to church canons on all Sundays and holidays, days of communion, repentance and fasting. The Monk Seraphim of Sarov said to a young man entering into marriage: “... And also keep clean, keep Wednesdays and Fridays, and holidays, and Sundays. For not keeping cleanliness, for not observing Wednesday and Friday by spouses, children will be born dead, and if the holidays and Sundays are not kept, wives die in childbirth.

Elder Ambrose of Optinsky wrote the same thing in one letter: “Your wife’s illness, perhaps, was due to your own fault: either they didn’t honor the holidays in marital relations, or they didn’t observe marital fidelity, for which you are punished by your wife’s illnesses.”

The ability to restrain oneself in married life brings good fruits of spiritual peace and prosperity in the family, strengthens the husband and wife spiritually, makes them able to withstand the sorrows and trials that are inevitable in family life, educates them capable of sacrifice and self-restraint.

WHICH SAINTS SHOULD PRAY FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE?

In all Orthodox prayer books one can find prayers for various occasions of family life. The Lord hears our every prayerful sigh, but in life we ​​are surrounded by exactly what is beneficial for the salvation of our soul, which is priceless in the eyes of God. “Knock and it will be opened,” the Lord tells us.

They pray for a blessing for marriage to the Most Holy Theotokos in honor of Her icon "Kazanskaya", to the right-believing Prince Peter and Princess Fevronia, miracle workers of Murom.

For advice and love between husband and wife, they pray to the holy apostle and evangelist John the Theologian.

About every family and everyday need - the holy blessed Xenia of Petersburg.

When childless, they pray to the righteous god-fathers Joachim and Anna, the holy prophet Zechariah and Elizabeth. If you wish to have a male child - to the Monk Alexander of Svir.

About the upbringing of children in Christian piety - the martyr Sophia and St. Sergius of Radonezh.

About help in everyday affairs, about the blessing of God over the house - to the Hieromartyr Vlasy, Bishop of Sebaste.

WITHOUT GOD NOT TO THE THRESHOLD

We hope that our story about the sacrament of the church wedding will help the reader to think seriously about himself. The last generations of Russians have dropped out of church life and have been deprived of any religious experience for almost a hundred years. Most of us continue to live like this, following generally accepted standards, drifting among the temptations of this world. Is there a place for eternity among this roar, crowd and circulation? Can the Lord knocking on our hearts be heard? Isn't such a life like a painted sun that neither shines nor warms?

But as soon as you cross the threshold of the temple, as soon as you join your heart to common prayer, as a previously unknown being will reveal to us the innermost joy of communion with God. Then the centuries-old experience of Russian life, embodied in the simple words “Without God, it’s not up to the threshold,” will become obvious and indisputable.

In concluding our story about a church wedding, let us recall the main thing - this sacrament is a special blessing of the Church, the Head of which is the Lord Himself. Therefore, it is so important to approach it prepared, collected, pure, without deceit, so that it does not come to condemnation, but to the salvation of the soul. Then family life will have a solid, unshakable foundation. And all the prayers uttered on this day in the temple will bear their good fruits, “for with God no word will remain powerless” (

Question: Who faced a similar situation, help, please, to understand. The husband's parents insist on getting married in the church, but they don't explain why this should be done, stubbornly saying that "it will be better this way." What does marriage give?

The wedding ceremony from the point of view of culture

The Slavic chronicles conveyed to us in detail the life of the Russian people, their habits, beliefs, focusing on significant milestones in life. Birth, marriage, death were outlined by religious ideas, which changed over time, but their essence remained unchanged.

The wedding ceremony among the Slavs was endowed with a magical meaning- protect the newlyweds from damage, the evil eye and evil spirits. The wedding was being prepared for a long time, clothes were specially sewn for it, hats, rings, protective dishes were chosen - all actions were aimed at ensuring that the young lived in abundance, had healthy children.

With the introduction of Christianity in Rus', the wedding did not cease to be a sacrament, on the contrary, it was believed that couples married by God would be happy and bring many offspring. The wedding has become a milestone when two people take care of not only each other, but also participate in the birth and upbringing of children, according to Christian canons. The dissolution of a marriage entered into in a church was unacceptable and was regarded as a sin.

What gives a wedding in a church?

In Soviet times, little was known about weddings, but despite the oppression of religion, such concepts as baptism, liturgy, weddings remained and revived with renewed vigor at the end of the last century.

The sacrament of the wedding began to take place more often, and even people who were married decided to conduct a church ceremony in order to become closer to God. Why do young people choose a wedding along with a secular marriage?

• The young are blessed by God.
• The family, held together by the rite, is protected from troubles, it is bypassed by troubles.
• Spouses receive a protector - God, who does not leave the family in joy and sorrow.

divine blessing- these are not just words spoken to the young by the priest conducting the ceremony. These are the wishes of goodness and happiness, health and longevity, pronounced by an intermediary - the father, reinforced by a religious rite. Marriage in the church is considered a sacrament, marriage becomes sacred and is not subject to divorce.

It must be understood that the wedding ceremony does not make people absolutely happy a priori. Despite the fact that such a marriage is made "in heaven", it requires daily work in ordinary life.

Church wedding- enhances assistance to newlyweds on a spiritual level, gives inner strength to create a friendly family, helps to realize responsibility for offspring. Young people understand that they have taken a responsible step by entering into marriage. They ask for and accept Divine help through a wedding and try to live in accordance with spiritual canons.

"Pitfalls" of the wedding

Real life is always different from theory, so the ideal wedding, as a conscious step taken by young people on a spiritual level, is not common. Many are attracted by the entourage of the ritual, its solemnity, unusualness, attention, gifts.

Young people do not give an account of the main thing - a wedding is not a "fashion trend". This is a serious decision that is made on earth, blessed by God. A wedding connects the young, helping them live happily, raise children, meet after death and stay together forever.

Many ask the question Is getting married in a church the key to a happy life? No, the responsibility for actions lies with each person, God only helps to realize how bad or good the action is. The choice remains with the person, this is the complexity of being. It is difficult not to swear, to forgive, to find a compromise, to give in, to understand another person. But you can always ask God for help, hear him, make the right decision.

Married young people receive the patronage and support of divine powers. But it happens that discord comes to the house, the spouses begin to swear, humiliate each other, change. They forget the vows that they said at the wedding, do not hear the prompts of the Almighty, and as a result, their spiritual channels close, people become “deaf”.

Anyone who has ever thought about life will be struck by the thought of how far from perfect it is. Decency, morality, behavior in society and in private life - everything has changed dramatically. People stopped taking responsibility for themselves, stopped working spiritually, trying to shift the decision to God, covering up any actions with them.

Many are sure that the wedding guarantees them grace. Not at all. Happy are those families where love is mature, unselfish, responsible. Love is work, and God is a helper, guide, protector, teacher. When you get married in a church at the behest of your soul, you accept the help of the Almighty and at the same time make efforts for a happy union.

No one will do anything for people: the husband and wife will have to independently learn to live on the same wavelength, improve themselves, put up with weaknesses, try to minimize them. God is always on the side of people, he guides and takes care of everyone, for him there are no "bad" and "good"!

Does this mean that only people married in the church can lead a decent life? Of course not. If young people decide to get married in the registry office, their thoughts are pure, they are faithful to each other, and their relationship is built on love and trust, then they can turn to God at the behest of the soul.

Gratitude does not need a specific place and time, any bright, sincere impulse of thoughts will reach the Almighty and return with grace.

Church wedding- this is an external ritual, and without real feelings, love and understanding of what is happening, it will not have true meaning.

Before agreeing to a wedding, it is necessary to stop and answer simple questions: do I love, am I ready to share joy, grief, material difficulties, domestic inconveniences with a person. A wedding in a church is a responsible step, it will provide an opportunity to open your soul to God, fill it with kindness, give it to your spouse and future children.

In order for this church sacrament to bring you maximum benefit, you need to work on yourself: reconsider your values ​​and beliefs,