Marriage is a family attitude towards death in Christianity. Family and marriage in the light of Orthodox anthropology. Saint John Chrysostom

Christian marriage is an opportunity for the spiritual unity of spouses, continued in eternity, for "love never ceases, although prophecies will cease, and tongues will be silent, and knowledge will be abolished." Why do believers get married? Answers to the most common questions about the sacrament of the wedding - in the article of the priest Dionisy Svechnikov.

What's happened ? Why is it called a sacrament?

In order to start a conversation about the wedding, you should first consider. After all, the wedding, as a divine service and the grace-filled action of the Church, lays the foundation for church marriage. Marriage is a Sacrament in which the natural love union of a man and a woman, into which they freely enter, promising to be faithful to each other, is consecrated into the image of the unity of Christ with the Church.

The canonical collections of the Orthodox Church also operate with the definition of marriage proposed by the Roman jurist Modestinus (3rd century): "Marriage is the union of a man and a woman, communion of life, participation in divine and human law." The Christian Church, having borrowed the definition of marriage from Roman law, gave it a Christian interpretation based on the testimony of Holy Scripture. The Lord Jesus Christ taught: “A man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and the two will become one flesh, so that they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man separate” (Matthew 19:5-6).

The Orthodox teaching on marriage is very complex, and it is difficult to define marriage in just one phrase. After all, marriage can be viewed from many positions, focusing on one or another side of the life of the spouses. Therefore, I will offer another definition of Christian marriage, expressed by the rector of the St. Tikhon Theological Institute, Fr. Vladimir Vorobyov in his work “The Orthodox Teaching on Marriage”: “Marriage is understood in Christianity as an ontological union of two people into a single whole, which is accomplished by God Himself, and is a gift of beauty and fullness of life, essential for perfection, for the fulfillment of one’s destiny, for transformation and entry into the Kingdom of God. Therefore, the Church does not conceive of the fullness of marriage without its special action, called the Sacrament, which has a special grace-filled power that gives a person the gift of a new being. It is this action that is called a wedding.

The wedding is a certain divine service during which the Church asks the Lord for blessings and sanctification of the family life of Christian spouses, as well as the birth and worthy upbringing of children. I would like to note that the wedding of every Christian couple is a rather young tradition. The first Christians did not know the rite of the wedding, which is practiced in the modern Orthodox Church. The ancient Christian Church arose in the Roman Empire, which had its own concept of marriage and its own traditions of concluding a marriage union. Marriage in ancient Rome was purely legal and took the form of an agreement between the two parties. Marriage was preceded by a "conspiracy", or betrothal, at which the material aspects of the marriage could be discussed.

Without violating or abolishing the right that was in force in the Roman Empire, the early Christian Church gave marriage, concluded according to state law, a new understanding based on the New Testament teaching, likening the union of husband and wife to the union of Christ and the Church, and considered the married couple a living member of the Church. After all, the Church of Christ is able to exist under any state formations, state structures and legislation.

Christians believed that there were two necessary conditions for marriage. The first is earthly, marriage must be legal, it must satisfy the laws that operate in real life, it must exist in the reality that exists on Earth in this era. The second condition is that marriage must be blessed, gracious, church.

Of course, Christians could not approve of those marriages that pagans allowed in the Roman state: concubinage - long-term cohabitation of a man with a free, unmarried woman and closely related marriages. Marriage relations of Christians had to comply with the moral rules of the New Testament teaching. Therefore, Christians entered into marriage with the blessing of the bishop. The intention to marry was announced in the Church before the conclusion of the civil contract. Marriages not announced in the church community, according to Tertullian, were equated with fornication and adultery.

Tertullian wrote that true marriage was performed in the presence of the Church, sanctified by prayer and sealed with the Eucharist. The joint life of Christian spouses began with joint participation in the Eucharist. The first Christians could not imagine their life without the Eucharist, outside the Eucharistic community, in the center of which stood the Lord's Supper. Those entering into marriage came to the Eucharistic assembly, and, with the blessing of the bishop, communed the Holy Mysteries of Christ together. All those present knew that these people began on this day a new life together at the cup of Christ, accepting it as a gift of grace of unity and love, which will unite them in eternity.

Thus, the first Christians entered into marriage both through a church blessing and through a legal contract accepted in the Roman state. This order remained unchanged during the early Christianization of the empire. The first Christian sovereigns, condemning secret, unregistered marriages, in their laws speak only of the civil legal side of marriage, without mentioning church marriage.

Later, the Byzantine emperors prescribed marriage only with the blessing of the church. But at the same time, the Church has long participated in the betrothal, giving it a morally binding force. Until the wedding became obligatory for all Christians, church betrothal, followed by the actual beginning of marital relations, was regarded as a valid conclusion of marriage.

The wedding ceremony that we can observe now took shape approximately by the 9th-10th centuries in Byzantium. It is a kind of synthesis of church worship and Greco-Roman folk wedding customs. For example, wedding rings in ancient times had a purely practical meaning. The nobility had rings-seals that were used to fasten legal documents written on wax tablets. Exchanging seals, the spouses entrusted each other with all their property as evidence of mutual trust and fidelity. Thanks to this, in the Sacrament of Marriage, the rings retained their original symbolic meaning - they began to denote fidelity, unity, and the inseparability of the family union. The crowns placed on the heads of the newlyweds entered the rite of marriage thanks to Byzantine ceremonials and acquired a Christianized meaning - they testify to the royal dignity of the newlyweds, who have to build their kingdom, their world, their family.

So why is there a special meaning of the New Testament teaching about marriage, why is marriage called in the Church of Christ precisely the Sacrament, and not just a beautiful rite or tradition? The Old Testament doctrine of marriage saw the main purpose and essence of marriage in the reproduction of the race. Childbearing was the most obvious sign of God's blessing. The most striking example of God's favor to the righteous was the promise given by God to Abraham for his obedience: “Blessing, I will bless you and, multiplying, I will multiply your seed, like the stars of heaven and like sand on the seashore; and thy seed shall possess the cities of their enemies; and in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed, because thou hast obeyed my voice” (Genesis 22:17-18).

Although the Old Testament teaching did not have a clear idea of ​​an afterlife, and man, at best, could only hope for an illusory existence in the so-called "sheol" (which can only be very loosely translated as "hell"), the promise given to Abraham assumed, that life can become eternal through offspring. The Jews were waiting for their Messiah, who would arrange some new Israeli kingdom, in which the bliss of the Jewish people would come. It was the participation in this bliss of the descendants of this or that person that was understood as his personal salvation. Therefore, childlessness was considered among the Jews as a punishment from God, for it deprived a person of the possibility of personal salvation.

In contrast to the Old Testament teaching, marriage in the New Testament appears to a person as a special spiritual unity of Christian spouses, continuing in eternity. In the pledge of eternal unity and love, the meaning of the New Testament doctrine of marriage is seen. The doctrine of marriage, as a state intended only for childbearing, is rejected by Christ in the Gospel: “In the Kingdom of God they do not marry and are not given in marriage, but abide as the angels of God” (Matt. 22, 23-32). The Lord clearly makes it clear that in eternity there will be no carnal, earthly relationships between spouses, but there will be spiritual ones.

Therefore, and, first of all, it makes it possible for the spiritual unity of the spouses, continued in eternity, for "love never ceases, although prophecies will cease, and tongues will be silent, and knowledge will be abolished" (1 Cor. 13, 8). Ap. Paul likened marriage to the unity of Christ and the Church: “Wives,” he wrote in Ephesians, “be subject to your husbands as to the Lord; for the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the Head of the Church, and He is also the Savior of the body. But just as the Church obeys Christ, so do wives obey their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself up for her” (Eph. 5:22-25). The holy apostle attached to marriage the significance of the Sacrament: “A man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This mystery is great; I speak in relation to Christ and to the Church” (Eph. 5:31-32). The Church calls marriage a Sacrament because, in a mysterious and incomprehensible way for us, the Lord Himself combines two people. Marriage is a sacrament for life and for Eternal Life.

Speaking of marriage as a spiritual unity of spouses, in no case should we forget that marriage itself becomes a means of continuing and multiplying the human race. Therefore, childbearing is saving, for it is established by God: “And God blessed them, and God said to them: be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it” (Gen. 1, 28). About salvific childbearing teaches ap. Paul: "A woman ... will be saved through childbearing if she continues in faith and love and holiness with chastity" (1 Tim 2:14-15).

Thus, childbearing is one of the goals of marriage, but is by no means an end in itself. The Church calls upon its faithful children to raise their children in the Orthodox faith. Only then does childbearing become salvific, when children become, together with their parents, a “home church”, growing in spiritual perfection and knowledge of God.

To be continued…

We often do not attach due importance to the words that we meet in the New Testament: in the Gospel, in the Apostolic Epistles. And there is an idea that completely changes the view of marriage, both in comparison with what was and in comparison with what has become. I'll try to explain with an example.

In what relation are the various parts and details of, for example, a car? There are many of them, a car is assembled from them, because it is nothing but a collection of correctly connected parts into one whole. Therefore, it can be disassembled, put on shelves, anything can be changed, replaced

Is a person the same or something fundamentally different? After all, it also seems to have many "details" - members and organs, also naturally, harmoniously coordinated in the body. Nevertheless, we understand that the body is not made up of an arm, a leg, a head, and so on, is not formed from a combination of the corresponding organs and members, but is a single and indivisible organism that lives one and the same life.

So here it is Christian marriage- this is not just a combination of two "details" - a man and a woman, in order to get a new "car", which is indifferent to what is subordinated to what in it. Marriage is a living body, and such an interaction of members in which everything is in conscious interdependence and reasonable mutual subordination. He is not some kind of absolute monarchy in which the wife must submit to her husband, or the husband become the wife's slave. Orthodox marriage- and not that equality, in which you can’t figure out who is right and who is to blame, who should, in the end, obey whom, when everyone insists on his own. And then? Quarrels, bickering, who will win this time, at least take out the saints (icons). And all this in a long time or soon leads to a complete catastrophe of the family - its disintegration. With what experiences and troubles!

Yes, spouses should be equal. But equality and equality are completely different concepts, the confusion of which threatens not only the family, but also any society. Thus, the general and the soldier, as individuals and citizens, are, of course, equal, but they have and should have different rights. In the case of their equality, the army will turn into a chaotic gathering of people, unable to carry out its mission. And in a family, what kind of equality is possible, so that with the complete equality of spouses, its integral unity is preserved? Orthodoxy offers the following answer to this vital question.

Relationships between family members, and especially between spouses, should be built not on the legal principle, but on the principle of a living organic body. Each family member is not a separate pea among others, but a living cell of a single organism, in which, naturally, there should be harmony, but which is impossible, where there is no order, where there is anarchy and chaos.

I would like to bring one more image that helps to reveal the Christian view of the relationship of spouses. A person has a mind, a heart. Just as the mind does not mean the brain, but the ability to think, reason and decide, so the heart does not mean the organ that pumps blood, but the very center of the human being - the ability to feel, experience, revitalize the whole body.

This image - when viewed as a whole, and not individually - speaks well of the peculiarities of male and female nature. A man really lives more with his head. "Ratio" is, as a rule, primary in his life. A woman lives more with her heart, feeling. But both the mind and the heart are inextricably linked and absolutely necessary for a person, so in the family for its full and healthy existence it is absolutely necessary that the husband and wife do not oppose, but complement each other, being, in essence, the mind and heart single body of the family. Both "organs" are equally necessary for the entire "organism" of the family and should be correlated with each other not according to the principle of subordination, but precisely complementarity. Otherwise, there will be no normal family.

Now the practical question arises, how can this image be applied to the real life of the family? For example, spouses buy or not some things. Her: "I want them to be!" - He: "Nothing like that, we can do without them!" And the passions begin. What's next? Separation between mind and heart? Maybe tear a living body into two parts and throw them on different sides?

Christ says that a man and a woman in marriage are no longer two, but one flesh (Matthew 19:6), one body. The Apostle Paul very clearly explains what this unity and integrity of the flesh means: If the foot says: I do not belong to the body, because I am not the hand, then does it really not belong to the body? And if the ear says: I do not belong to the body, because I am not the eye, then does it really not belong to the body? The eye cannot tell the hand: I do not need you; or also head to feet: I don't need you. Therefore, if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is glorified, all members rejoice with it (1 Cor. 12:15:16:21:26).

But how do we treat our own body? The Apostle Paul writes: no one has ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and warms it (Eph. 5:29). St. John Chrysostom says that husband and wife are like hands and eyes. When the hand hurts, the eyes cry. When eyes cry, hands wipe away tears.

Here it is worth remembering the commandment, which was originally given to mankind and confirmed by Jesus Christ. When it comes to the final decision, and there is no mutual agreement, it is required that someone has the moral, in conscience, the right to have the last word. And, of course, it should be the voice of the mind and the need for voluntary submission of the heart to it. This commandment is justified by life itself. After all, we know very well how sometimes we really want something, but we are told: “This is not useful.” And we recognize these words as reasonable and voluntarily obey them. So the heart, as Christianity teaches, must be controlled by the mind. It is clear what we are talking about in principle - the priority of the husband's voice.

But a mind without a heart is terrible. This depicts the famous novel by the English writer Mary Shelley "Frankenstein". In this work, the main character, Frankenstein, is depicted as a very intelligent creature, but without a heart - not an anatomical organ of the body, but the ability to love, show mercy, sympathy, generosity, etc. Therefore, Frankenstein and a person simply cannot be called.

However, the heart without the control of the mind inevitably turns life into chaos. One has only to imagine the freedom of uncontrolled desires, desires, feelings ...

Thus, the husband, personifying the mind, can and should streamline the life of the family (ideally, normally, in real life, other husbands behave completely crazy). That is, the unity of husband and wife should be carried out in the manner of the interaction of the mind and heart in the human body. If the mind is healthy, like a barometer, it accurately determines the direction of our inclinations: in some cases, approving, in others, rejecting, so as not to destroy the whole body. That's the way we are.

Christianity calls for such an agreement between spouses. A husband should treat his wife the way he treats his body. None of the normal people beats, cuts, deliberately inflicts any kind of suffering on their own body. This is the main principle of life, which is most consistent with what is called love. When we eat, drink, dress, heal, then for what reason we do it - of course, out of love for our body. And this is natural, and it should be so. Just as natural should be a similar attitude of a husband to his wife and a wife to her husband.

In recent decades, in connection with the aggravated demographic crisis, a sharp debate has unfolded in the general public about what the institution of the family should be like, what are its problems and prospects. One of the most active participants in this dialogue is the Russian Orthodox Church, which represents the religious vision of the modern problem of family and marriage. Throughout history, the Orthodox Church has known two main types of Christian human life: monasticism and marriage. Traditional Orthodox theology gives the greatest preference to monasticism.

In his opinion, monasticism serves as a vivid expression of the evangelical spirit of life. It is "a complete, complete type of Christian life." At the heart of monastic life is the Christian idea of ​​a person's complete dedication to God and the need for high spiritual sacrifice in order to join a higher, perfect way of life. Unlike the life of an ordinary Christian, whose goal is to achieve salvation for "eternal life" in an eschatological perspective, "the goal of monastic residence is not only to achieve salvation, but primarily to achieve Christian perfection" .

The achievement of Christian perfection is associated with an ascetic feat - certain spiritual efforts and sacrificial restriction from earthly goods and conditions that can distract a person from the sphere of transcendent being. A less gracious but righteous type of Christian life is marriage. According to Orthodox theology, “Marriage is a sacrament in which, with a free promise before the priest and the church by the bride and groom of their mutual fidelity, their marital union is blessed in the form of the spiritual union of Christ with the church and the grace of pure unanimity is asked for them, to a blessed birth and Christian raising children".

Orthodox theology says that the marriage union of a man and a woman is established by the Creator in paradise. After the creation of the first people, God blessed their union with the words: "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it..." (Genesis 1:28). At the same time, the marriage union is considered not only as bodily, but, first of all, as spiritual: the union of two souls, constituting, as it were, one soul, one life, one being. The marriage union has two purposes:

1. The fullness of the spiritual and material life of a person. “So that, living in a close and inseparable union, the spouses work more successfully for their spiritual perfection, happiness on earth and salvation in heaven.” 2. The birth and Christian upbringing of children “for the multiplication of the kingdom of God, i.e. society of those who believe in Christ and are saved through Him. Orthodox theology attaches sacred significance to the union of a man and a woman, elevating it to the rank of a sacrament. Marriage as a sacrament is understood in a broad and narrow sense. In a broad sense, the sacrament is understood as the very union of a man and a woman.

According to Bishop Hilarion of Vienna and Austria: “Marriage as a sacrament is when two people are united with each other so completely, deeply and inseparably that they cannot imagine life without each other, when they make a vow of fidelity to each other not only on earth, but and for all eternity to come." In a narrow sense, the sacrament of marriage is understood as the church ceremony of the wedding of the newlyweds. It is believed that the life of the spouses begins with this ceremony. The condition of marriage as a sacrament is: - Free choice of a spouse. - Mutual love. - Blessing parents. If the marriage does not meet established Christian standards, it is considered cohabitation. “Marriage as cohabitation means that at some point fate brought two people together, but there is no commonality between them, that unity that is necessary for marriage to become a sacrament. Two people live - and each has his own life, his own interests.

They would have divorced long ago, but life circumstances force them to stay together. The Church says that such a marriage does not have the qualities that a Christian marriage should have. At the same time, a marriage that began as cohabitation can acquire a new quality and become a mysterious marriage, "if the spouses perceive marriage as an opportunity to grow into some new unity, enter another dimension, overcome their selfishness and isolation" . Considering the union of a man and a woman as a sacrament, Orthodox theology speaks of the indissolubility of marriage. According to priest A. Rozhdestvensky, “The indissolubility of marriage indicated by God should show people that their marriage union cannot be limited to one feeling and an accidental rapprochement of the sexes, in the likeness of the rapprochement of unreasonable animals, but should be based on the moral communication of people in the unity of love and mutual assistance to achieve higher goals of life." The improvement of the Christian family is based on a strict hierarchy.

Orthodox theology says that, having created man as bisexual, the Creator laid in his nature not only physiological, but also spiritual and moral differences between the sexes: the husband is the head and guide for his wife and children; A wife is an equal helper to her husband. Any violation of this moral algorithm of human behavior, inherent in human nature, inevitably leads to a conflict of the sexes and the destruction of the harmony of the marriage union. The Holy Scripture repeatedly speaks of the strict hierarchical structure of the family: “Christ is the head of every husband; but the head of the wife is the husband” (1 Cor. 11:3); “Husbands, love your wives and be hard on them” (Col. 3:19); “Wives, obey your husbands as the Lord… just as the Church obeys Christ, so do wives obey their husbands in everything” (Eph. 5:22, 24), etc. Orthodox theology asserts that true hierarchy is necessarily based on mutual love and no way is not violence against the will of the other spouse. Just as the inherently free Church, out of love for God, freely follows the divine will, so the naturally free spouse lovingly leads or fulfills the will of the other spouse. "house church" (Rom. 16:4; 1 Cor. 16:19; Col. 4:15), called by its existence to increase the harmony of the world established by God.

The ideal model of family and marriage existing in the church consciousness, in practice, was systematically deformed by the conditions of socio-economic and cultural reality. More or less, it retained its Christian significance only under the condition of a patriarchal way of life. But in the conditions of bourgeois society, the spiritual basis of the family began to be subjected to "moral ailments." Stating this fact, the well-known Orthodox missionary, Metropolitan Macarius (M.A. Nevsky) said: “What about family life? How far it is from Christian principles: love, respect, obedience, marital fidelity! How many so-called happy marriages do we have? How many separated spouses due to infidelity to one another or obstinacy of character! How many extramarital cohabitations that have not received a church blessing! . Did not contribute to the strengthening of the institution of the family and socialist society.

Having officially proclaimed the family a "cell" of socialist society, the ruling political system finally destroyed the hierarchical structure of the family and deprived it of its religious, spiritual and moral content. Having received equal economic and political rights with a man, a woman was necessarily included in the system of socio-economic relations. In this situation, only a few families could remain large families. The psychology of family members has also changed. An economically independent woman stopped looking at her husband as the "breadwinner" of the family and the "owner" of family property. Having lost economic superiority in the family, a man with few children turned from the head of a patriarchal collective into an ordinary family member. The leadership abilities characteristic of the psychology of men have become partially or completely unclaimed in the conditions of a family team.

Cases of unfulfilled male leadership in the family and work collective began to create fertile ground for the manifestation of social vices: drunkenness, irresponsibility, etc. The "family hearth" has become a "place for the night" for all family members, who live most of the time in their personal lives and are not connected with each other by a single business or common interest. Today, many Orthodox believers tend to see the causes of the family crisis in the change in the consciousness of society that occurred during the Soviet period of Russian history and the current modern secular culture. So, priest Maxim Obukhov, head of the Orthodox medical and educational center "Life" says: "In the Soviet Union, all conditions were created in order to free a woman from raising children and load her with socially useful work instead." In his opinion, this has led to a decrease in the "parental instinct" in today's youth. “A child brought up without a mother, as it turned out, grows up with a reduced parental instinct, and the separation of children from their parents over several generations has led to the emergence of young people who have no desire to have a child.

While retaining the physical ability to bear children, such young people are mentally unfit for either family life or parenthood. They don't want to have children. The child is perceived as a destroyer of comfort, as a hindrance. According to Orthodox theologians and clergy, modern threats to the institution of the family stem from the following sources: 1. Active involvement of women in public life and the labor process. As a result, a large number of women do not have the opportunity to pay due attention to the family.

2. Activities of international and domestic organizations dealing with the problems of sexual education and family planning. According to many Orthodox believers, under the guise of the interests of children and the protection of their rights, the “sexualization” of minors is being carried out. 3. Alienation of the family from religion and religious education. According to the church position, a family that is completely alienated from religion cannot give the right spiritual and moral education to their children.

4. In juvenile justice. According to Orthodox believers, there are dangerous tendencies in this area of ​​jurisprudence, new to our society: “the rights of the child are considered in isolation from the rights of parents, often contradicting them.” Which is “certainly aimed at destroying the family, at dividing the bond between parents and children.”

5. In the new world order. Openness of Russian society to Western influence and anti-Christian culture. The Russian Orthodox Church proposes to return to the Christian foundations of marriage and consider the family as a "small church", and marriage as a daily religious feat based on love for God. According to the Church, the basic norms of Christian marriage should be as follows: “Firstly, marriage is accomplished by the free choice of those entering into it. Secondly, it is a lifelong union of husband and wife. Thirdly, spouses must remain mutually faithful. Fourth, premarital chastity is a condition of Christian marriage. Fifthly, procreation is the sacred task of the couple. And finally, the family is a small church, of which the husband is the head. In addition, the modern Russian Orthodox Church speaks of two more necessary conditions for marriage: First, marriage must be legal, it must comply with the laws that operate in the real life of a particular society. Second, the marriage must be church. “The Sacrament of Marriage is unthinkable outside the Church. It can only be valid when performed by the Church within the Church, for the members of the Church.”

It is easy to see that the conditions offered by the Russian Orthodox Church to those entering into a marriage union are called upon: firstly, to promote the formation of a morally healthy and law-abiding family; secondly, to maximally integrate the newly formed social structure with the church organism, to make it an organic part of the church parish. Expressing this trend, the clergy of the Russian Orthodox Church systematically remind: “The family, as a small Church, is a cell of the Church Ecumenical, therefore it is important that it live the life of the Church, participate in the life of the parish and be directly connected with it.”

Recognizing the great importance of family and marriage in the life of a person and society, the Russian Orthodox Church, as before, is a conductor of the idea of ​​the indissolubility of the marriage union. However, well aware that the absolute implementation of this idea is impossible, the Church recognizes the dissolution of church marriage on certain grounds (adultery or the entry of one of the parties into a new marriage, “the falling away of a spouse from Orthodoxy, unnatural vices, inability to marital cohabitation that occurred before marriage or resulting from intentional self-mutilation, etc.). Changes in attitudes towards women are also indicative. In the modern Russian Orthodox Church, women make up a significant majority of church parishes.

The social condition of the entire Church largely depends on their religious activity. Given the importance of the civil and religious service of women, His Holiness Patriarch Kirill of Moscow and All Rus' says: “Today, an Orthodox Christian woman must take an active social position, acting as the guardian of Christian moral values ​​in the family and in society. In addition to the calling of a wife and mother, Christian women must be aware of themselves as full members of civil society, responsible for the fate of the country. It is impossible not to note some liberalization in relation to the family hierarchy. Taking into account the objective impossibility of maintaining a strict hierarchy in modern families, the Russian Orthodox Church, together with other Christian denominations, formulates the concept of a family that is more understandable for modern public consciousness. "A family in the Christian sense is a community of individuals who recognize God as the center of their lives and are united by love, capable of building harmonious relations with each other, society and the state."

Analyzing the Orthodox Christian approach to the problem of family and marriage, it can be noted that the implementation of the religious model of family and marriage relations in full in modern society is hardly feasible for a number of reasons: First, the way of life has changed and become habitual for many people. Secondly, the dominant influence on the public consciousness of secular culture, in many respects alien to Christian ideas about family and marriage. Thirdly, the weak religiosity of the majority of people both in our country and abroad. However, the widespread promotion of Christian ideas about family and marriage can have a positive impact on improving the quality of family and marriage relations.

Literature

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Sacrament of marriage

“Marriage is a sacrament in which, with a free, before the priest and the Church, the promise of mutual marital fidelity by the bride and groom, their marital union is blessed, in the image of the spiritual union of Christ with the Church, and they ask for the grace of pure unanimity for the blessed birth and Christian upbringing of children.”

(Orthodox catechism)

“Marriage is the union of a man and a woman, an agreement for life, communion in divine and human law” (Kormchaya, ch. 48).

The all-merciful God created the earthly man from the ashes and, endowing him with the eternal breath of life, made him master over the earthly creation. According to His all-good plan, the Lord created from the rib of Adam his wife, Eve, accompanying this with secret words: “It is not good for a man to be alone; Let us make him a helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:18). And they remained in Eden until the fall, when, having transgressed the commandment, tempted by the crafty tempter, they were expelled from paradise. By the good judgment of the Creator, Eve became a companion on the difficult earthly path of Adam, and through her painful childbearing, she became the foremother of the human race. The first human couple, having received from God the promise of the Redeemer of mankind and the Trampling of the head of the enemy (Gen. 3, 15), was also the first keeper of the saving tradition, which then, in the offspring of Seth, passed in a life-giving mysterious stream from generation to generation, indicating the expected coming Savior. It was the purpose of the first covenant of God with people and, being foreshadowed in events and prophecies, was realized in the Incarnation of the Word of the Father eternally born from the Holy Spirit and the Most Blessed Ever-Virgin Mary, the New Eve, who truly is “our kind of appeal” (Akathist to the Most Holy Theotokos).

Relationships of Spouses in a Christian Marriage

Marriage is enlightenment and, at the same time, a mystery. It is the transformation of man, the expansion of his personality. A person acquires a new vision, a new sense of life, is born into the world in a new fullness. Only in Marriage is possible a complete knowledge of a person, a vision of another person. In Marriage, a person plunges into life, entering it through another personality. This knowledge and life gives that feeling of completed fullness and satisfaction, which makes us richer and wiser.

This fullness deepens even more with the emergence of the two merged together - the third, their child. A perfect married couple will give birth to a perfect child, it will continue to develop according to the laws of perfection; but if between the parents there is an unconquered discord, a contradiction, then the child will be the product of this contradiction and will continue it.

Through the sacrament of Marriage, grace is also granted for the upbringing of children, which Christian spouses only contribute to, as the Apostle Paul says: “Not I, however, but the grace of God, which is with me” (1 Cor. 15, 10).

Guardian Angels, given to babies from Holy Baptism, secretly but tangibly assist parents in raising children, averting various dangers from them.

If in Marriage only external union took place, and not the victory of each of the two over their own selfishness and pride, then this will also be reflected in the child, entailing his inevitable alienation from his parents - a split in the home Church.

But it is impossible to forcibly hold, inspire, force to be the way the father and mother want, the one who, having received the body from them, accepted the main thing from God - the one and only personality with its own path in life. Therefore, for the upbringing of children, the most important thing is that they see their parents living a true spiritual life and shining with love.

Human individualism, selfishness creates special difficulties in Marriage. They can be overcome only by the efforts of both spouses. Both must daily build Marriage, struggling with the vain daily passions that undermine its spiritual foundation - love. The festive joy of the first day should last a lifetime; every day should be a holiday, every day the husband and wife should be new to each other. The only way for this is to deepen the spiritual life of everyone, to work on oneself, to walk before God. The worst thing in Marriage is the loss of love, and sometimes it disappears because of trifles, so all thoughts and efforts must be directed to preserving love and spirituality in the family - everything else will come by itself. You need to start this work from the very first days of your life together. It would seem that the simplest, but also the most difficult thing is the determination to take everyone’s place in Marriage: the wife humbly takes second place, the husband takes the burden and responsibility to be the head. If there is this determination and desire, God will always help on this difficult, martyr, but also blessed path. Not without reason, while walking around the lectern, they sing "Holy Martyrs ...".

It is said about a woman - "a weak vessel." This "weakness" consists mainly in the subjection of a woman to the natural elements in herself and outside her. As a result of this - weak self-control, irresponsibility, passion, short-sightedness in judgments, words, deeds. Almost no woman is free from this, she is often the slave of her passions, her likes and dislikes, her desires.

Only in Christ does a woman become equal to a man, subordinate her temperament to the highest principles, acquire prudence, patience, the ability to reason, and wisdom. Only then is her friendship with her husband possible.

However, neither a man, nor even a woman, have absolute power over each other in Marriage. Violence against the will of another, even in the name of love, kills love itself. It follows from this that it is not always necessary to humbly submit to such violence, since in it lies the danger to the most dear. Most unhappy marriages come from the fact that each side considers itself the owner of the one they love. Almost all family difficulties and discord come from here. The greatest wisdom of Christian Marriage is to give complete freedom to the one you love, for our earthly Marriage is like a heavenly marriage - Christ and the Church - and there is complete freedom. The secret of the happiness of Christian spouses lies in the joint fulfillment of the will of God, which unites their souls among themselves and with Christ. At the basis of this happiness is the desire for a higher, common object of love for them, which attracts everything to itself (John 12, 32). Then the whole family life will be directed towards Him, and the union of those who are united will be strengthened. And without love for the Savior, no union is lasting, because neither in mutual attraction, nor in common tastes, nor in common earthly interests, not only does a true and lasting connection exist, but, on the contrary, often all these values ​​suddenly begin to serve as separation.

The Christian marriage union has the deepest spiritual foundation, which neither bodily communion possesses, for the body is subject to disease and aging, nor the life of feelings, which is changeable by its nature, nor community in the field of common worldly interests and activities, "for the image of this world is passing away" (1 Corinthians 7:31). The life path of a Christian married couple can be likened to the rotation of the Earth with its constant companion the Moon around the Sun. Christ is the Sun of righteousness, warming His children and shining for them in the darkness.

“Glorious is the yoke of two believers,” says Tertullian, “having the same hope, living by the same rules, serving the One Lord. Together they pray, fast together, mutually teach and exhort each other. Together they are in the Church, together at the Lord's Supper, together in sorrows and persecutions, in repentance and joy. They are pleasing to Christ, and He sends down upon them His peace. And where there are two in His name, there is no place for any evil.”

The establishment of the sacrament of Marriage and the history of the rite

The marriage union of a man and a woman was established by the Creator Himself in paradise after the creation of the first people, whom the Lord created as a man and a woman and blessed with the words: “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it...” (Gen. 1, 28). The Old Testament repeatedly expresses the view of Marriage as a matter blessed by God Himself.

Upon His coming to earth, the Lord Jesus Christ not only confirmed the inviolability of Marriage, noted in the Law (Lev. 20:10), but also elevated it to the degree of a sacrament: Is it permissible for a man to divorce his wife? He answered and said to them: Have you not read that He who created male and female in the first place created them? And he said, Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh; so they are no longer two, but one flesh. So what God has joined together, let no man separate” (Matthew 19:3-6).

Having gone out into the world for His open service to the human race, He appeared with His Mother and His disciples at the wedding feast in Cana of Galilee and performed the first miracle there, turning water into wine, and with His presence sanctified this and all marriage unions concluded by faithful and loving God and spouses to each other.

“God Himself unites those who are sanctified by the sacrament and is present in their midst,” says Clement of Alexandria about the holiness of Marriage. “From You, a wife is married to a husband,” it is said in the prayer of the rank of betrothal; "Yourself, O Lord, send down your hand and combine." The Lord sanctifies the combination of spouses in the sacrament of Marriage and preserves incorruptible the union of their souls and bodies in mutual love in the image of Christ and the Church.

Holy Christian virginity and the holy sacrament of Marriage are the two paths indicated to the faithful in the Word of God (Matt. 19:11-12; 1 Cor. 7:7, 10). The Church has always blessed both of these paths and condemned, as you know, those who condemn both. Saint Ignatius the God-bearer testified to these two paths of a pious life already in the 1st century in his letter to Saint Polycarp of Smyrna:

“Inspire my sisters to love the Lord and be pleased with their spouses in the flesh and in the spirit; likewise advise my brethren to love their spouses in the name of Jesus Christ, as the Lord loves the Church. And whoever can abide in purity in honor of the flesh of the Lord, let him abide, but without vanity.” The Apostle Paul calls not to listen to false teachers, "forbidding marriage", which will appear in the last times. Until the end of time, marriages of Orthodox Christians will be performed for the glory of God and for the benefit of mankind, and the blessed family life will still flourish, for the blessing that is asked for the whole Church is also given to the small Church - the Christian family. “God of strength! turn, look from heaven, and look, and visit this vineyard; guard what Your right hand has planted, and the branches that You have strengthened for Yourself ”(Ps. 79, 15-16)”.

The marriage ceremony has its own ancient history. Even in the patriarchal period, marriage was considered a special institution, but little is known about the marriage rites of that time. From the history of Isaac's marriage to Rebekah, we know that he offered gifts to his bride, that Eleazar consulted with Rebekah's father regarding her marriage, and then a wedding feast was held. In later times of Israel's history, marriage ceremonies developed considerably. Adhering to the patriarchal custom, the groom in the presence of strangers had to first of all offer the bride a gift, usually consisting of silver coins. Then they proceeded to conclude a marriage contract, which determined the mutual obligations of the future husband and wife. At the end of these preliminary acts, a solemn blessing of the spouses followed. For this, a special tent was arranged in the open air: the bridegroom appeared here, accompanied by several men, whom the Evangelist Luke calls "bridal sons", and the Evangelist John - "the bridegroom's friends." The bride was accompanied by women. Here they were greeted with a greeting: "Blessed be everyone who comes here!" Then the bride was circled three times around the groom and placed on his right side. Women covered the bride with a thick veil. Then all those present turned towards the east; the groom took the bride by the hands and they accepted ritual good wishes from the guests. The rabbi would come up, cover the bride with a sacred veil, take a cup of wine in his hand and pronounce the formula of the marriage blessing. The bride and groom drank from this cup. After that, the groom took a golden ring and put it on the bride's index finger, while saying: "Remember that you were combined with me according to the law of Moses and the Israelites." Next, the marriage contract was read in the presence of witnesses and the rabbi, who, holding another cup of wine in his hands, pronounced seven blessings. The newlyweds again drank wine from this cup. At the same time, the groom broke the first bowl, which he had previously held in his hand, against the wall if the bride was a maiden, or on the ground if she was a widow. This rite was supposed to remind of the destruction of Jerusalem. After that, the tent in which the marriage ceremony took place was removed and the marriage feast began - the wedding. The feast lasted seven days, in memory of the fact that Laban once made Jacob work in his house for seven years for Leah and seven years for Rachel. During this seven-day period, the groom had to hand over the dowry to the bride and thus fulfill the marriage contract.

When comparing the Jewish marriage ceremony with the Christian one, a number of similar points are striking, but the main thing is that in the Christian order of Marriage there are constant references to the Old Testament righteous and prophets: Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and Rachel, Moses and Zipporah. Apparently, before the compiler of the Christian order, there was an image of the Old Testament Marriage. Another influence that the Christian marriage ceremony has undergone in the process of formation has its origin in the Greco-Roman tradition.

In Christianity, Marriage has been blessed since apostolic times. Church writer of the III century. Tertullian says: "How to depict the happiness of Marriage, approved by the Church, sanctified by her prayers, blessed by God!"

The marriage ceremony in ancient times was preceded by betrothal, which was a civil act and was performed in accordance with local customs and regulations, as far as, of course, this was possible for Christians. The betrothal was performed solemnly in the presence of many witnesses who sealed the marriage contract. The latter was an official document that determined the property and legal relationship of the spouses. The betrothal was accompanied by the ceremony of joining the hands of the bride and groom, in addition, the groom gave the bride a ring that was made of iron, silver or gold - depending on the wealth of the groom. Clement, Bishop of Alexandria, in the second chapter of his "Pedagogue" says: "A man should give a woman a golden ring, not for her outward adornment, but in order to put a seal on the economy, which from then on passes into her disposal and is entrusted to her cares" .

The expression “put a seal” is explained by the fact that in those days a ring (ring), or rather a stone set into it with a carved emblem, served at the same time as a seal, which imprinted the property of a given person and fastened business papers. Christians carved seals on their rings depicting a fish, an anchor, a bird, and other Christian symbols. The wedding ring was usually worn on the fourth (ring) finger of the left hand. This has a basis in the anatomy of the human body: one of the thinnest nerves of this finger is in direct contact with the heart - at least at the level of ideas of that time.

By the X-XI centuries. the betrothal loses its civic significance, and this rite is already performed in the temple, accompanied by appropriate prayers. But for a long time, the betrothal was performed separately from the wedding and was combined with the follow-up to Matins. The rite of betrothal receives its final uniformity only by the 17th century.

The rite of marriage itself - weddings in ancient times was performed through prayer, blessing and laying on of hands by the bishop in the church during the liturgy. Evidence that marriage was introduced in antiquity in the rite of the liturgy is the presence of a number of coinciding constituent elements in both modern rites: the initial exclamation “Blessed is the Kingdom ...”, peace litany, reading of the Apostle and the Gospel, special litany, the exclamation “And make me worthy of us, Vladyka...”, singing “Our Father” and, finally, the fellowship of the chalice. All these elements are obviously taken from the order of the Liturgy and are closest in structure to the order of the Liturgy of the Presanctified Gifts.

In the 4th century, marriage crowns, placed on the heads of the couple, came into use. In the West, they corresponded to marriage covers. At first these were wreaths of flowers, later they were made of metal, giving them the shape of a royal crown. They mark the victory over passions and remind of the royal dignity of the first human couple - Adam and Eve - to whom the Lord gave possession of all earthly creation: "... and fill the earth, and rule it ..." (Gen. 1, 28) .

Despite the fact that already by the 13th century marriage was performed separately from the liturgy, these two sacraments were closely connected. Therefore, from ancient times to our time, the bride and groom who wish to be united in the sacrament of Marriage prepare themselves to receive grace through fasting and repentance, and on the wedding day they partake of the Holy Divine Mysteries together.

In some parishes of the southwestern dioceses, betrothal is accompanied by an oath of allegiance, which is given to each other by the spouses. This rite is borrowed from the Western tradition and is not listed in the modern Orthodox Ribbon. However, given the deep rootedness of this custom in the minds of local parishioners, who regard it as almost the most essential part of marriage, care should be taken in excluding this oath from the rites. Moreover, it does not contain dogmatic contradictions with the Orthodox understanding of the sacrament of Marriage.

Place and time of the sacrament of marriage

In our time, church marriage is deprived of civil legal force, therefore, the wedding is performed, as a rule, on spouses who have previously registered their civil marriage in the registry office. The wedding takes place in the church in the presence of relatives and friends of the spouses. No parental blessing for the wedding, provided that the spouses have reached the age of marriage and are already in a civil marriage, is not an obstacle to the performance of the sacrament. The rite can only be performed by a legally appointed priest who is not under canonical prohibition. It is not customary for the sacrament of Marriage to be performed by a priest who has taken monastic vows. In the absence of another possibility , the priest can himself marry his son or daughter.

According to the canonical rules, it is not allowed to have a wedding during all four fasts, on cheese week, Easter week, in the period from the Nativity of Christ to the Epiphany (Christmas time). According to pious custom, it is not customary to make marriages on Saturday, as well as on the eve of the Twelfth, great and temple holidays, so that the pre-holiday evening would not pass in noisy fun and entertainment. In addition, in the Russian Orthodox Church, marriage is not performed on Tuesdays and Thursdays (on the eve of fasting days - Wednesdays and Fridays), on the eve and on the days of the Beheading of John the Baptist (August 29) and the Exaltation of the Holy Cross (September 14). Exceptions to these rules can be made out of necessity only by the ruling bishop. The wedding is recommended to be performed after the liturgy, during which the bride and groom partake of the Holy Mysteries.

Church-canonical obstacles to Marriage

The priest, before performing a wedding, should find out if there are any church-canonical obstacles to concluding a church marriage between these persons. First of all, it should be noted that the Orthodox Church, although it considers civil marriage devoid of grace, actually recognizes it and does not at all consider it illegal fornication. However, the conditions for concluding a marriage established by civil law and church canons have significant differences, therefore, not every civil marriage registered in the registry office can be consecrated in the sacrament of Marriage.

Thus, the fourth and fifth marriages allowed by civil law are not blessed by the Church. The Church does not allow marriage more than three times, it is forbidden to marry persons who are in close degrees of kinship. The Church does not bless the marriage if one of the spouses (or both) declare themselves convinced atheists who came to church only at the insistence of one of the spouses or parents, if at least one of the spouses is not baptized and is not ready to accept baptism before the wedding. All these circumstances are clarified during the execution of documents for the wedding at the church box, and, in the cases listed above, the church marriage is refused.

First of all, you cannot marry if one of the spouses is actually married to another person. A civil marriage must be dissolved in the prescribed manner, and if the previous marriage was a church one, then the permission of the bishop to dissolve it and the blessing to enter into a new marriage is necessary.

An obstacle to marriage is also the consanguinity of the bride and groom, as well as spiritual kinship, acquired through the reception at baptism.

There are two types of kinship: consanguinity and "property", that is, kinship between relatives of two spouses. Blood relationship exists between persons who have a common ancestor: between parents and children, grandfather and granddaughter, between cousins ​​and second cousins, uncles and nieces (cousins ​​and second cousins), etc.

The property exists between persons who do not have a common sufficiently close ancestor, but are related through marriage. One should distinguish between two-kind or two-blood property, established through one marriage union, and three-kind, or three-blood property, which is established in the presence of two marriage unions. In a two-kind property are the relatives of the husband with the relatives of the wife. In the threefold property are the relatives of the wife of one brother and the relatives of the wife of another brother, or the relatives of the first and second wife of one man.

In a two-kind property, when finding its degree, two cases must be taken into account: a) property between one of the spouses and blood relatives of the other, b) property between blood relatives of both spouses. In the first case, the relatives of one spouse are in relation to the other in the same degree as they would be if they were his own blood relatives, since husband and wife are one flesh in marriage, namely: father-in-law and mother-in-law are to son-in-law in the first degree, like his own parents, only, of course, in a two-kind property; brothers and sisters of the wife (shurya and sister-in-law) - in the second degree, like siblings, and also, of course, in a two-kind property, etc. The methods for calculating the degrees of property in this case are the same as in homogeneous kinship. In the second case, when the degree of property between the blood relatives of both spouses is sought, it is necessary to determine: a) to what extent the husband’s relative is in relation to him and b) to what extent the wife’s relative, in relation to whom the degree is determined, is separated from her; then the number of degrees of both sides is added up, and the resulting sum will show the degree to which the husband's relative and the wife's relative are separated from each other. For example, between a given person and his father-in-law - one degree; between the given person and his sister-in-law - two degrees, between the husband's brother and the wife's sister - four degrees, etc.

In a three-kind property, which comes from the union through marriage unions of three genera or surnames, the degrees of inherent relations are considered in the same way as in a two-kind property, that is, they again add up in the same way to the total sum of the number of degrees in which these persons are separated from the main persons through whom they are related to each other, and this total amount determines the degree of their mutual relationship.

With consanguinity, Church Marriage is unconditionally prohibited up to the fourth degree of kinship, inclusive, with two-kindness - up to the third degree, with three-kindness, marriage is not allowed if the spouses are in the first degree of such kinship.

Spiritual kinship exists between the godfather and his godson and between the godmother and her goddaughter, as well as between the parents of the adopted from the font and the recipient of the same sex as the adopted (nepotism). Since, according to the canons, one recipient of the same sex as the one being baptized is required at baptism, the second recipient is a tribute to tradition and, therefore, there are no canonical obstacles to concluding a Church Marriage between the recipients of the same baby. Strictly speaking, for the same reason, there is also no spiritual kinship between a godfather and his goddaughter and between a godmother and her godson. However, pious custom forbids such marriages, therefore, in order to avoid temptation in such a case, special instructions should be sought from the ruling bishop.

The permission of the bishop is also required for the wedding of an Orthodox person with a person of another Christian denomination (Catholic, Baptist). Of course, marriage is not crowned if at least one of the spouses professes a non-Christian religion (Muslim, Judaism, Buddhism). However, a marriage concluded according to a non-Orthodox rite, and even non-Christian, concluded before the spouses joined the Orthodox Church, can be considered valid at the request of the spouses, even if only one of the spouses was baptized. When both spouses convert to Christianity, whose marriage was concluded according to a non-Christian rite, the sacrament of Marriage is not necessary, since the grace of Baptism sanctifies their marriage.

You cannot marry someone who once bound himself with a monastic vow of virginity, as well as priests and deacons after their ordination.

As for the age of majority of the bride and groom, their mental and physical health, voluntary and free consent, since without fulfilling these conditions a civil marriage cannot be previously registered, the Church, in the presence of a Marriage Certificate, is exempted from clarifying these circumstances.

On the annulment of a church marriage

The right to recognize a Church Marriage as non-existent and permission to enter into a new Church Marriage belongs only to the bishop. On the basis of the Certificate of Divorce submitted by the Registry Office, the diocesan bishop removes the previous blessing and gives permission to enter into a new church marriage, unless, of course, there are canonical obstacles to this. The diocesan administration does not make any inquiry about the motives for divorce.

Betrothal follow-up

The bride and groom, at the end of the liturgy, stand in the porch of the temple facing the altar; groom on the right, bride on the left. The priest in full dress leaves the altar through the royal doors, holding the cross and the Gospel in his hands. A candle is brought before the priest. He places the cross and the Gospel on the lectern, standing in the middle of the temple.

The rings with which the betrothed will be engaged, during the liturgy, are on the right side of the holy altar close to each other: on the left - gold, on the right - silver. The deacon, following the priest, takes them out on a special tray. The priest, approaching the bride with two lit candles, blesses them three times with a priestly blessing and hands them candles.

Light is a sign of joy, fire gives warmth, therefore burning candles show the joy of meeting two loving people. At the same time, it is a symbol of their purity and chastity. They also remind us that a person's life is not closed, not separated, it takes place in a society of people, and everything that happens to a person, light or darkness, warmth or cold, echoes in the souls of the people around him. If discord and division are defeated, if these two exude the light of love, then, leaving the temple, they will no longer be two, but one being.

“For everyone who does evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds be convicted, because they are evil. But he who practices righteousness comes to the light, that his deeds may be manifest, because they are done in God” (John 3:20-21).

Candles are not given if both spouses enter into Marriage for the second (third) time, recalling the gospel parable, which says that virgins (that is, virgins) went out to meet the Bridegroom with kindled lamps (Matt. 25, 1). Candles should burn throughout the whole course of the Sacrament of Marriage, so they should be large enough.

The priest introduces the bride and groom into the temple, where the betrothal will take place. The ceremony begins with censing before the wedding couple with incense and prayer in imitation of the pious Tobias), who set fire to the liver and heart of the fish in order to drive away the demon hostile to honest marriages with smoke and prayer (Tov. 8, 2). After this, the prayers of the Church for those who are married begin.

Following the usual beginning: “Blessed is our God...” the Great Litany is pronounced, which contains petitions for the salvation of those who are married; about giving them children for procreation; about sending them perfect love, peace and help; about keeping them in unanimity and firm faith; about blessing them into an immaculate life: “For the Lord our God will grant them an honorable marriage and an undefiled bed, let us pray to the Lord ...”

Then two short prayers are read, in which praise is given to God, who unites the divided and put alliances of love, and asks for a blessing on the new brides. The blessed Marriage of Isaac and Rebekah is remembered as an example of virginity and purity and the fulfillment of the promise of God in their offspring. The bride is likened from time immemorial to the pure virgin - the Church of Christ.

The priest, taking first the golden ring, says three times:

"The servant of God (name) is betrothed to the servant of God (name)." With each pronunciation of these words, he makes the sign of the cross over the head of the groom and puts the ring on the fourth (ring) finger of his right hand. Then he takes a silver ring and says, marking the head of the bride with a cross, three times:

“The servant of God (name) is betrothed to the servant of God (name)”, and puts a ring on her fourth finger of her right hand.

The golden ring symbolizes with its brilliance the sun, the light of which is likened to the husband in marriage; silver - the likeness of the moon, a smaller luminary, shining with reflected sunlight. The ring is a sign of eternity and the continuity of the marriage union, for the grace of the Holy Spirit is continuous and eternal.

Then, as a sign of giving themselves for life to each other, and to the Lord both in an inseparable way, as a sign of unanimity, consent and mutual assistance in the upcoming marriage, the bride and groom exchange rings three times with the participation of a friend of the groom or a priest. After a triple change of rings, the silver remains with the groom, and the gold remains with the bride, as a sign that a masculine spirit is transmitted to female weakness.

The priest pronounces a prayer in which the blessing and approval of the betrothed is requested. I recall the miraculous sign of "water-bearing" given to the servant of the patriarch Abraham, when he was sent to find a bride for Isaac, this honor was prepared only for that one virgin - Rebekah, who gave the messenger water to drink. The priest asks to bless the position of the rings with a heavenly blessing, in accordance with the power that Joseph received through the ring in Egypt, Daniel became famous in the country of Babylon, and the truth appeared to Tamar. I recall the parable of the Lord about the prodigal son, who repented and returned to his father's house, "And the father said to his servants: bring the best clothes and dress him, and put a ring on his hand ..." (Luke 15:22).

“And the right hand of Your servant will be blessed by Your sovereign word and Your high arm,” the prayer goes on to say. It is no coincidence that the wedding ring is placed on the finger of the right hand, because with this hand we take a vow of allegiance, make the sign of the cross, bless, greet, hold the tool of labor and the sword in a righteous battle.

People tend to make mistakes, go astray from the true path, and without the help of God and His guidance, these two weak people cannot reach the goal - the Kingdom of Heaven. Therefore, the priest asks: “And let your angel go before them all the days of their lives.”

The betrothal sequence ends with a short litany with the addition of a petition for the betrothed.

Note: 1) Rings can be made from one metal - gold, silver; and have jewelry made of precious stones. 2) The dismissal indicated in the Ribbon is not pronounced at the end of the rank of betrothal, since the wedding follows the betrothal. 3) The priest should be especially careful when changing rings so as not to drop them on the floor, since the man's finger is much thicker than the woman's and therefore the bride's ring is hardly held on the finger. Unfortunately, there is a superstition among the people that a ring that falls during a betrothal means the breakup of a marriage or the death of one of the spouses. If such an incident occurred, and the priest noticed anxiety among those present, one should point out in the parting word the absurdity of this sign, as well as of all superstitions in general.

Wedding follow-up

The bride and groom, holding lit candles in their hands, depicting the spiritual light of the sacrament, solemnly enter the middle of the temple. They are preceded by a priest with a censer, indicating by this that on the path of life they must follow the commandments of the Lord, and their good deeds will be offered up to God like incense. The choir greets them with the singing of Psalm 127, in which the prophet-psalmist David glorifies God-blessed marriage; before each verse, the choir sings: "Glory to Thee, our God, glory to Thee."

The bride and groom stand on a kerchief (white or pink) spread out on the floor in front of the lectern, on which lie the Cross, the Gospel and crowns. After that, according to the Trebnik, it is supposed to pronounce a lesson. However, in order not to break the rites, it can be pronounced before the betrothal or at the end of the wedding, in addition, you can briefly explain the meaning of the main points of the sacrament being performed.

Further, the bride and groom are invited in front of the whole Church to once again confirm the free and unconstrained desire to marry and the absence in the past on the part of each of them of a promise to a third person to marry him. These questions are best pronounced in Russian or the native language of the spouses, for example, in this form:

Answer: "I have, honest father."

"Are you bound by a promise to another bride?"

Answer: No, not connected.

Then, turning to the bride, the priest asks:

“Do you have a sincere and unconstrained desire and firm intention to be the wife of this (name of the groom) whom you see in front of you?”

Answer: "I have, honest father."

“Is she bound by a promise to another suitor?”

Answer: "No, not connected."

These questions do not only refer to a formal promise to marry some third person, but basically imply: did each of the spouses enter into an illegal relationship, or dependence, one way or another obliging him in relation to this person.

So, the bride and groom confirmed before God and the Church the voluntariness and inviolability of their intention to enter into marriage. This will in a non-Christian marriage is a decisive principle. In Christian marriage, it is the main condition for a natural (according to the flesh) Marriage, a condition after which it should be considered concluded. For this reason, when non-Christians convert to Orthodoxy, their marriages are recognized as valid (provided that such a marriage does not contradict Christian law, in other words, polygamy, polyandry and marriages between close relatives are rejected).

Now, only after the conclusion of this natural marriage, does the mysterious consecration of the marriage by Divine grace begin - the rite of the wedding. The wedding ceremony begins with a liturgical exclamation: "Blessed is the Kingdom...", which proclaims the participation of those who are married in the Kingdom of God.

After a short litany on the well-being of the soul and body of the bride and groom, the priest says three lengthy prayers: “Most Pure God, and the Creator of all creatures ...”, “Blessed are you, Lord our God ...” and “Holy God, who created from dust human..."

I recall the mysterious creation of a woman from Adam's rib and the first marriage blessing in paradise, which later extended to Abraham and other patriarchs and forefathers of Christ according to the flesh. The priest prays to the Savior Himself incarnated from the Virgin, who blessed Marriage in Cana of Galilee, to bless His combined servants, like Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and Rachel and all the patriarchs, and Moses, as the parents of the Blessed Virgin, Joachim and Anna, and the parents of the Forerunner , Zechariah and Elizabeth. He prays the Lord to keep them like Noah in the ark, and Jonah in the belly of the whale, the three youths in the Babylonian furnace, and to grant them the joy that Queen Elena had when she found the Holy Cross. He prays for the commemoration of the parents who raised them, “for the prayers of the parents establish the foundation of houses”, and together with childbearing, to grant the spouses unanimity of souls and bodies, long life, chastity, mutual love and the union of the world, grace in the children, an abundance of earthly blessings and a crown that does not fade on heaven.

Now comes the main moment of the sacrament. The priest, taking the crown, marks them with a cruciform groom and gives him to kiss the image of the Savior, attached to the front of the crown. The Ribbon does not indicate that this action should be performed once or three times, therefore in some places they perform it three times, in others - once each over the bride and groom.

When crowning the groom, the priest says:

“The servant of God (name) is married to the servant of God (name) in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”

Having blessed the bride in the same way and allowing her to venerate the image of the Most Holy Theotokos that adorns her crown, the priest crowns her, saying:

“The servant of God (name) is married to the servant of God (name) in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”

Then the priest pronounces the sacramental words three times, and at each pronunciation he blesses both with a priestly blessing:

“Lord, our God, crown (them) with glory and honor.” First of all, with these words and the crowning of their heads, honor and glory are proclaimed to man as the king of creation. Every Christian family is, of course, a small church. Now she opens the way to the Kingdom of God. This opportunity may be missed, but now, here it is. For the rest of their subsequent lives, long and difficult, full of temptations, they become for each other in the most real sense - king and queen - this is the highest meaning of the crowns on their heads.

This crowning also expresses the honor and glory of martyrs' crowns. For the path to the Kingdom of God is the testimony of Christ, which means crucifixion and suffering. A marriage that does not constantly crucify its own selfishness and self-sufficiency, that does not “die to itself” in order to point to the One Who is above all earthly things, cannot be called Christian. In marriage, the presence of God gives joyful hope that the marriage vow will be preserved not until “until death separates”, but until death finally unites us, after the universal Resurrection - in the Kingdom of Heaven.

From this comes the third and final meaning of the crowns: they are the crowns of the Kingdom of God. “Receive their crowns in Your Kingdom,” says the priest, removing them from the head of the bride and groom, and this means: increase this marriage in that perfect love, the only completion and fullness of which is God.

After pronouncing the sacramental formula, the prokeimenon is pronounced: “You put crowns on their heads, from honest stones, asking for your belly from You, and gave them to them.” And the verse: "As if you give them a blessing forever and ever, I will rejoice with joy with Your face."

Then the 230th conception is read from the letter of the holy Apostle Paul to the Ephesians (5, 20-33), where the marriage union is likened to the union of Christ and the Church, for which the Savior who loved her gave Himself. A husband's love for his wife is a likeness of Christ's love for the Church, and a wife's lovingly humble obedience to her husband is a likeness of the Church's attitude to Christ. This is mutual love to the point of self-denial, the readiness to sacrifice oneself in the image of Christ, who gave Himself to be crucified for sinful people, and in the image of His true followers, who confirmed their fidelity and love for the Lord through suffering and martyrdom.

The last saying of the Apostle: “Let the wife be afraid of her husband” - calls not for the fear of the weak before the strong, not for the fear of the slave in relation to the master, but for the fear of saddening a loving person, breaking the unity of souls and bodies. The same fear of losing love, and therefore the presence of God, in family life should also be experienced by a husband, whose head is Christ. In another epistle, the apostle Paul says: “The wife has no power over her own body, but the husband does; likewise, the husband has no power over his own body, but the wife does.

Do not deviate from each other, except by agreement, for a time, for the exercise in fasting and prayer, and then be together again, so that Satan does not tempt you with your intemperance ”(1 Cor. 7, 4-5). Husband and wife are members of the Church and, being particles of the fullness of the Church, they are equal among themselves, obeying the Lord Jesus Christ.

After the Apostle, the Gospel of John is read (2:1-11). It proclaims God's blessing of the marital union and its sanctification. The miracle of the transformation of water into wine by the Savior foreshadowed the action of the grace of the sacrament, by which earthly conjugal love rises to heavenly love, uniting souls in the Lord. About the moral change necessary for this, says St. Andrei of Crete: “Marriage is honorable and the bed is immaculate, for Christ blessed them in Cana at Marriage, eating the food of the flesh and turning water into wine, revealing this first miracle, so that you, soul, would change” (Great Canon in Russian translation, troparion 4 by song 9).

The Savior, being present at the Marriage in Cana, exalted the marital union in accordance with His Contemplation of the human race. When the first wine became impoverished, another wine was given, miraculously created from water. So in a natural marriage, the relationship of the spouses, not being sinful by nature, but nevertheless devoid of grace, is transformed into grace, sanctified by the sacrament, approaches the great Archetype - the union of Christ and the Church.

“They have no wine,” said the Most Pure Mother, addressing Her Son. In the answer that followed, Christ expressed that the hour desired by Him and Her had not yet come: the time of the victory of the spirit over the flesh. But this longed-for mysterious moment in the life of Christian spouses comes through the mercy of the God-Man, who was called to Marriage and sanctified it, by the fulfillment of His commands. “Whatever He tells you, do it” (John 2:5), the Mother of God called on those present. Only then will the insufficiency and defectiveness of natural marriage be filled, and earthly feelings will miraculously transform into spiritual, grace-filled ones, uniting husband and wife and the whole Church in the One Lord. According to Bishop Theophan the Recluse, in a truly Christian Marriage “love is purified, exalted, strengthened, spiritualized. To help human weakness, the grace of God gives strength to the gradual achievement of such an ideal union.

After reading the Gospel on behalf of the Church, a brief petition for the newlyweds and the priest’s prayer, “Lord our God, in salvation ...”, in which he asks the Lord for peace and unanimity, purity and integrity throughout a long life and the achievement of a venerable old age “ with a pure heart who do thy commandments. Then follows the Petitionary Litany.

The priest proclaims: “And vouchsafe us, Vladyka, with boldness, without condemnation, dare to call on You, the Heavenly God the Father, and speak ...”, and the newlyweds, together with all those present, sing the prayer “Our Father”, the foundation and crown of all prayers, commanded to us by Himself Savior. In the mouths of those who are married, she expresses her determination to serve the Lord with her small church so that through them on earth His will be fulfilled and reign in their family life. As a sign of humility and devotion to the Lord, they bow their heads under the crowns.

A common cup of wine is brought, over which the priest reads a prayer: “God, who created everything by Your strength, and established the Universe, and adorned the crown of all created from You, and give this common cup to those who are combined in the communion of Marriage, bless with a spiritual blessing.” Having overshadowed the cup with the sign of the cross, he gives it to the bride and groom. The newlyweds alternately (first the groom, and then the bride) drink wine in three doses, already united into one person before the Lord. The common cup is a common destiny with common joys, sorrows and consolations and a single joy in the Lord.

In the past, it was a common Eucharistic chalice, participation in the Eucharist, which sealed the fulfillment of Marriage in Christ. Christ must be the very essence of communal life. He is the wine of the new life of the children of God, and partaking of the common cup heralds that, as we grow old in this world, we all grow younger for a life that knows no evening.

Having presented the common bowl, the priest connects the right hand of the husband with the right hand of the wife and, covering the joined hands with an epitrachelion, and on top of it with his own hand, circles the newlyweds three times around the lectern. During the first circumambulation, the troparion “Isane, rejoice…” is sung, in which the sacrament of the incarnation of the Son of God Emmanuel from the Unsophisticated Mary is glorified.

During the second circumambulation, the troparion "Holy Martyr" is sung. Crowned with crowns, as conquerors of earthly passions, they are an image of the spiritual Marriage of the believing soul with the Lord.

Finally, in the third troparion, which is sung during the last circumambulation of the lectern, Christ is glorified as the joy and glory of the newlyweds, their hope in all circumstances of life: “Glory to Thee, Christ God, praise of the apostles, joy of the martyrs, their preaching, Trinity consubstantial.”

As in the rite of Baptism, this circular walk means the eternal procession that began on this day for this couple. Their marriage will be an eternal procession hand in hand, a continuation and manifestation of the sacrament performed today. Remembering the common cross laid on them today, "carrying each other's burdens", they will always be filled with the grace-filled joy of this day.

At the end of the solemn procession, the priest removes the crowns from the spouses, greeting them with words filled with patriarchal simplicity and therefore especially solemn:

“Be magnified, bridegroom, like Abraham, and be blessed like Isaac, and multiply like Jacob, walk in the world and do the commandments of God in righteousness.”

“And you, bride, be exalted like Sarah, and rejoice like Rebekah, and multiply like Rachel, rejoicing over your husband, keeping the limits of the law, for such a favor God.”

Then, in the next two prayers, “God, our God” and “Father, and Son, and Holy Spirit,” the priest asks the Lord, who blessed the Marriage in Cana of Galilee, to accept the crowns of the newlyweds undefiled and blameless in His Kingdom. In the second prayer, read by the priest, standing facing them, with the heads of the newlyweds bowing, these petitions are sealed with the name of the Most Holy Trinity and the priestly blessing. At the end of it, the newlyweds with a chaste kiss testify to the holy and pure love for each other.

Leave is given according to the Trebnik. It commemorates Equal-to-the-Apostles Constantine and Helena - the first earthly kings, spreaders of Orthodoxy, and the holy martyr Procopius, who taught twelve wives to go to martyrdom, as to a wedding feast.

Further, according to custom, the newlyweds are brought to the royal doors: where the groom kisses the icon of the Savior, and the bride kisses the image of the Mother of God, then they change places and kiss accordingly - the groom to the icon of the Mother of God, and the bride kisses the Savior. Here the priest gives them the Cross for kissing and hands them two icons: the groom - the image of the Savior, the bride - the Most Holy Theotokos. These icons are usually brought by relatives of the young from home or purchased in the temple as a parental blessing. Then, many years are usually proclaimed to the newlyweds, they leave the salt, and all those present congratulate them.

In the Ribbon, after the dismissal, “Prayer for the permission of the crowns, on the ninth day” follows. In ancient times, just as the newly-baptized wore white clothes for seven days and on the eighth day they put them together with the appropriate prayer, so the newlyweds wore crowns for seven days after the wedding and put them on the eighth day with the prayer of the priest. In ancient times, the crowns were not metal and not of the same type as they are now. These were simple wreaths of myrtle or olive leaves, which are still used in the Greek Church. In Russia, they were replaced in ancient times, first by wooden ones, and later by metal ones. In this regard, the prayer for the permission of the crowns is now read after the prayer "Father, Son and Holy Spirit ...". This short sequence should not be omitted.

Of particular note is the leave, which says:

“Agreeing, your servants, O Lord, have reached and followed the Galileans of Marriage in Cana, and even hidden signs in it, glory is glorified to you, the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and forever and ever, amen.” The newlyweds here are reminded on behalf of the Church that the sign of the miracle of Christ in Cana of Galilee is the most life-giving and precious in the marriage union, and therefore it should be kept hidden in the depths of the soul, so that this treasure would not be stolen or defiled by the vanity and passions of this world.

Report of the Archbishop of Tobolsk and Tyumen Dimitri at the section of the same name of the XIV International Christmas Educational Readings

Dear Fathers, Brothers and Sisters!

Now love is often mistaken for love, and this spiritual (not spiritual) feeling is by no means enough for a true family life. Falling in love can accompany love (however, not necessarily) - but it passes too easily; and then what? “At every step, we have cases when people get married because they “fell in love” with one another, but how often such marriages are fragile! Often such love is called “physiological”. When the “physiological love” subsides, people who in marriage, either violate fidelity, maintaining external marital relations, or get divorced" (1).

How does the Church view marriage?

The Church sees in marriage the secret of love - love not only human, but also divine.

“Marriage is a sacrament of love,” says St. John Chrysostom, and explains that marriage is a sacrament because it exceeds the boundaries of our mind, for in it two become one. Blessed Augustine also calls marriage love a sacrament (sacramentum). The grace-filled character of marital love is inextricably linked with this, for the Lord is present where people are united by mutual love (Matt. 18:20).

The liturgical books of the Orthodox Church also speak of marriage as a union of love. “Oh hedgehog send them love more perfect, more peaceful,” we read in the aftermath of the betrothal. In the course of the wedding, the Church prays for the gift of “love for each other” to the newlyweds.

In itself, marital love in relation to spouses to each other is mysterious and has a shade of adoration. “Marital love is the strongest type of love. Other impulses are also strong, but this impulse has such a strength that it never weakens. And in the next century, faithful spouses will fearlessly meet and will abide forever with Christ and with each other in great joy,” writes Chrysostom. In addition to this side of marital love, there is another equally important one in it.

“Christian marital love is not only joy, but also a feat, and has nothing in common with that “free love”, which, according to the widespread frivolous view, should replace the supposedly outdated institution of marriage. In love, we not only receive another, but also give ourselves entirely, and without the complete death of personal egoism, there can be no resurrection for a new exalted life ... Christianity recognizes only love that is ready for unlimited sacrifices, only love that is ready to lay down its soul for a brother for a friend (John 15:13; 1 John 3:16, etc.), for only through such love does an individual rise to the mystical life of the Holy Trinity and the Church. This is how marital love should be. Christianity knows no other marital love than love like the love of Christ for His Church, Who gave Himself for her (Eph. 5:25)” (2).

St. John Chrysostom in his inspired sermons teaches that a husband should not stop at any torment and even death, if this is necessary for the good of his wife. “I consider you more precious than my soul,” the husband says to his wife at Chrysostom.

“Perfect” marital love, requested in the rite of betrothal, is love ready for self-sacrifice, and the deep meaning lies in the fact that in Orthodox churches the church hymn “Holy Martyr” enters the wedding rite.

What is marriage for?

Marriage is not just a "way of arranging" earthly existence, it is not a "utilitarian" means for procreation - although it includes these aspects as well. First of all, marriage is the mystery of the appearance of the Kingdom of God in this world. “When the holy Apostle Paul calls marriage a “mystery” (or “sacrament”, which sounds the same in Greek), he means that in marriage a person not only satisfies the needs of his earthly, worldly existence, but also takes a step towards to the purpose for which he was created, that is, he enters into the kingdom of eternal life. Calling marriage a "sacrament," the Apostle asserts that marriage is preserved in the kingdom of eternity. The husband becomes one being, one "flesh" with his wife, just as the Son of God ceased to be only God, became also a man so that His people could become His Body. This is why the gospel narrative so often compares the Kingdom of God to a wedding feast. (3)

Marriage is established already in paradise, established directly by God Himself. The main source of church teaching on marriage - the Bible - does not say that the institution of marriage arose sometime later as a state or church institution. Neither the Church nor the state is the source of marriage. On the contrary, marriage is the source of both Church and State. Marriage precedes all social and religious organizations. (4)

The first marriage was concluded by "God's grace." In the first marriage, the husband and wife are the bearers of the highest earthly power, they are sovereigns to whom the rest of the world is subject (Gen. 1, 28). The family is the first form of the Church, it is the "small church", as Chrysostom calls it, and at the same time the source of the state as an organization of power, since, according to the Bible, the basis of any power of a person over a person is in the words of God about the power of a husband over wife: he will rule over you (Genesis 3:16). Thus, the family is not only a small church, but also a small state. Therefore, the attitude of the Church towards marriage had the character of recognition. This idea is well expressed in the gospel narrative of marriage in Cana of Galilee (John 2:1-11). She saw the sacrament of marriage not in the wedding ceremony, but in the very union of husband and wife into one single being through consent and love. Therefore, the holy fathers often call the mutual love of spouses a sacrament (for example, Chrysostom), the indestructibility of marriage (for example, Ambrose of Milan, Blessed Augustine), but they never call the wedding itself a sacrament. Attaching the main importance to the subjective factor of marriage - consent, they make another, objective factor - the form of marriage - dependent on the first, on the will of the parties and give the parties themselves freedom in choosing the form of marriage, advising the church form, if there are no obstacles for it. In other words, during the first nine centuries of its history, the Church recognized the optionality of the marriage form (5).

How does the Church view marriage? Man is not a purely spiritual being, man is not an angel. We consist not only of the soul, but also of the body, matter; and this material element of our being is not something accidental that can be discarded. God created man with soul and body, that is, both spiritual and material, it is this combination of spirit, soul and body that is called man in the Bible and in the Gospel. "The intimacy of husband and wife is part of the human nature created by God, God's plan for human life.

That is why such communication cannot be carried out by chance, with anyone, for the sake of one's own pleasure or passion, but must always be associated with complete surrender of oneself and complete fidelity to another, only then does it become a source of spiritual satisfaction and joy for those who love "(6)" Neither a man or a woman cannot be used simply as partners for pleasure, even if they themselves agree to it ... When Jesus Christ says: "everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matt. 5:28), He forbids us even in our thoughts to perceive another person as an object of pleasure. Nothing is unclean in itself, but everything, without exception, can become so through misuse. The same thing can happen and, alas, very often happens with the highest Divine gift to man - with love. And in place of holy conjugal love, which naturally includes carnal relationships, a dirty passion, a thirst for possession, can stand. But in no case should an equal sign be placed between them ”(7).

It is very important to remember that marriage is a long and complex spiritual path, in which there is a place for one's chastity, one's abstinence. Where intimate life occupies too much space, the family is in danger of falling into passion, and the task of the family, as an integral life, remains unresolved ... As soon as spiritual ties are empty in the family, it inevitably becomes a simple sexual cohabitation, sometimes descending to real fornication. which has taken a legal form.

It was said above that procreation is not the sole purpose of Marriage. But Marriage certainly includes (at least potentially) this side as well. And how it flourishes, how it is transformed in the light of the truly Christian teaching on matrimony! The birth of children and caring for them in the family are the natural fruit of the love of a husband and wife, the greatest guarantee of their union. Husband and wife should think of their intimate relationship not only as their own satisfaction or the fulfillment of the fullness of the life of the individual, but also as participation in the bringing into being of a new being, a new personality, destined to live forever.

Intimate relationships are not limited to the birth of children, they exist no less for unity in love, for mutual enrichment and joy of spouses. But with all the lofty significance that Christianity recognizes as carnal union, the Church has always unconditionally rejected all attempts to "deify" it. Our time is characterized by attempts to free carnal extramarital union from associations with sin, guilt and shame. All the champions of this "emancipation" do not understand, do not see that moment, which, perhaps, is central in the Christian vision of the world. "According to the Christian worldview, human nature, despite the fact that it is ontologically good, is a fallen nature, and not partially fallen, not in such a way that some of the properties of a person remained untouched and pure, but in its entirety ... Love and lust - hopelessly mixed up, and it is impossible to separate and isolate one from the other ... It is for this reason that the Church condemns as truly demonic those ideas and trends that - in various combinations with each other - call for sexual liberation" (8).

But is man, in his present, fallen state, capable of true, perfect love?

Christianity is not only a commandment, but a revelation and a gift of love.

In order for the love of a man and a woman to be as perfect as God created it, it must be unique, indissoluble, endless and divine. The Lord not only gave this institution, but also gives the power to carry it out in the Sacrament of Christian marriage in the Church. In it, man and woman are given the opportunity to become one spirit and one flesh.

High is the teaching of Christ about true Marriage! Involuntarily you ask: is it possible in real life? "His disciples say to him: if such is the duty of a man to his wife (i.e., if the ideal of marriage is so high), then it is better not to marry. He said to them: not everyone can accommodate this word, but to whom it is given"

(Matthew 19:10-11). Christ, as it were, says: “Yes, the ideal of marriage is high, the duties of a husband to his wife are difficult; not everyone can do this ideal, not everyone can accommodate My word (teaching) about marriage, but to whom it is given, with the help of God, this ideal is nevertheless achieved” . "Better not get married!" This is, as it were, an involuntary exclamation of the disciples, before whom the duties of a husband to his wife were inscribed. Before the greatness of the task - to transform the sinful nature - a weak person trembles equally, whether he enters into marriage, whether he takes the veil as a monk. Unity in Divine love, which constitutes the Kingdom of God, is given rudimentarily on earth and must be nurtured by achievement. For love is both joy, and tenderness, and rejoicing over one another, but love is also a feat: "Bear each other's burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ" (Gal. 6:2).

1. Prot. V. Zenkovsky. On the threshold of maturity M., 1991. pp. 31-32.

2. S.V. Troitsky. Christian philosophy of marriage. Paris, 1932. P.98.

3. Prot. John Meyendorff. Marriage and the Eucharist. Klin: Christian Life Foundation. 2000. P.8.

4. Prof. S.V. Troitsky. Christian philosophy of marriage. Paris, 1932. P.106.

5. Ibid., p. 138-139.

6. Prot. Thomas Hopko. Fundamentals of Orthodoxy. New York, 1987. p.318.

7. Ibid., p. 320.

8. Prot. Alexander Shmeman. Water and Spirit. M., 1993.S.176.