What to do if the husband does not give his wife money. Greedy husband. What to do if the husband does not give money

When getting married, every woman believes that now she will certainly be happy. And with a sweet one there will be paradise in a hut. But over time, romance gradually fades into the background, giving way to domestic issues, of which financial is far from the last place. After all, it is because of money that scandals and discontent arise in many families. A woman, according to her husband, spends a lot of money on cosmetics, clothes, various things. While he diligently earns them.

Conflicts and reproaches from the spouse can arise for various reasons:

  • due to lack of money
  • due to excessive savings,
  • due to the inherent greed of the spouse,
  • if only one husband works.

When a man is the only source of income in the family, he gradually begins to find fault with his wife about spending extra money. If a woman does not work, for example, she does housework or is on parental leave, the husband may consider that since his beloved practically does not leave the house, she can not use cosmetics, she does not need new clothes, a hairstyle. Gradually, there are more reasons for reproaches, he requires an account for every penny spent.

A similar situation often arises if the spouse works, but earns much less than her husband. In this case, disputes over finances may also arise.

If a big purchase is planned in the family, for which the spouses save every free penny, and the wife takes money from the “stash” to buy things for herself or for the house, without which, according to the husband, you can safely do without, wait for a showdown.

Often one of the claims from the spouse is the opinion that the wife is irrational to spend the family budget. In this case, he may require a report on all purchases.

All these and other reproaches, especially if they are groundless, can seriously complicate family life. To prevent this, you need to try to find a rational way out.

For example, psychologists recommend: if a husband requires a spending report, provide it to him. Make a shopping list with the cost of each item. Perhaps in this way you will adjust your spending. After all, often, women buy trinkets, without which you can safely do without. This item is important when the family has a really difficult financial situation.

Try to keep receipts from stores. Give them to your spouse as a statement of spending. It is especially useful to show how much things were purchased directly for its use.

Plan purchases and acquisitions with your husband. Learn to manage money properly. Before you go to the store, write down exactly what you need to buy and resist the urge to buy something other than the list.

Often complaints against a woman come during the period of her stay on maternity leave. Psychologists recommend resolving the conflict by trying to find some kind of side job and buy cosmetics and things for yourself from your own money. So you can prove to your husband that if you spend money on yourself, then your own. Perhaps this situation suits him well.

Try to use another good effective way to eliminate the problem with the constant dissatisfaction of the husband with the irrational use of family budget funds. It is suitable in the case when the husband constantly reproaches the spouse that she spends a lot on housekeeping. Offer your husband an experiment. Entrust all purchases to be made by the spouse. At least within a month. At this time, let him decide for himself what to buy products, detergents, things and everything that his soul desires. At the same time, remind your husband about paying utility bills and other services. If the experiment succeeds, then soon the husband himself will offer you money so that he no longer bothers himself with household chores.

Family relationships: how to deal with financial reproaches?

An example from life. Husband blames wife for money

A few months ago, Katya began to notice how Oleg, her beloved husband, began to reproach her with money. Accusations rained down: you spend too much money on useless nonsense (meaning elementary self-care products), after the birth of a child in our family, substantial sums are spent on buying diapers, the food is not very tasty, although the products you buy are not cheap.

The list of accusations could be continued endlessly. Katya, fearing another scandal, gradually stopped buying clothes, cosmetics, and now she had to use old diapers instead of diapers. But every day the quarrels were repeated more and more often, and Katya cried more and more in silence. Everything got to the point that all the necessary things for the baby were now bought by Katya's parents, and in order not to give his wife money, Oleg himself began to buy food and pay the bills.

Why does the husband blame money?

Leadership

Often reproach is inevitable if you are the financial leader in your family. Nature itself has determined a man to dominate both in relations with women and in any other sphere of life. If you earn more, it means that reproaches cannot be avoided: consciously or unconsciously, a man will complex and take out his discontent.

Manipulation

Psychologists say that reproach is the most powerful incentive for any person to start doing something. If your husband constantly reproaches you, it means that he wants to have complete power over you, and finances are just a great excuse for this.

Jealousy

Unfortunately, reproaches arising from jealousy are common in many families. Perhaps your man is used to being the only one for you, and after the birth of a child, he cannot come to terms with the fact that all attention has now switched to the baby. Of course, this behavior is based on global egoism.

Women's behavior

But a man is not always to blame for all the troubles, so pay attention to your own behavior: maybe you blame him for insufficient earnings or ask for more than he can give you? In this case, financial reproaches are just a completely understandable male defensive reaction.

Lack of trust

What to do if the husband reproaches with money?

It seems that the most obvious way out is a divorce, because you can’t live like this anymore. But, in fact, it is very easy to destroy a family and it is hard to start living from scratch. Show female wisdom and try to cope with financial reproaches on your own, because relationships are hard, but quite rewarding work.


1.
First of all, learn to control yourself and do not respond to reproaches with insults, sobs and tantrums: this will not help the cause, but will only warm up the quarrel. Your task is to bring your husband to a frank and calm conversation about the distribution of roles in your family. If you begin to make excuses in response to another remark, then thereby confirm the imaginary rightness of your husband.

2. Get a special notebook of expenses in which you will mark each ruble spent and regularly provide your husband with a report. In addition to the fact that this can help to cope with constant quarrels, you will learn how to correctly calculate the family budget.

3. Carefully analyze your behavior, starting from the moment when frank reproaches began: perhaps you seriously contributed to your husband making such remarks to you (made excessive demands, shifted all family problems to your husband). In addition, talk heart to heart with your beloved man: remember that in a family both spouses should cope with problems, including financial ones.

4. Do not give a damn about yourself: most likely, you are mired in household chores and financial problems, completely forgetting about your beloved. Take care of your appearance, find a way to earn at least a little money, fortunately, today, there are options for earning money without even leaving your home.

In the end, contact a psychologist: a specialist will definitely help you figure out your own mistakes and cope with the reproaches of your beloved man.

Content

Since ancient times, the distribution of responsibilities in the family has assumed that the man earns money, and the woman keeps the flame in the family hearth, takes care of the house and children. This tradition is still preserved in the relationship of many couples, and this is especially noticeable if the spouse is at home on parental leave or temporarily does not work. Often women in such a situation are faced with the fact that the husband does not give money on the decree to his wife.

How to maintain a common family budget and distribute income, many couples agree in advance. Although some spouses do not have such conversations, everything happens by itself and often wrong. But to understand whether the husband should pay his wife's salary, and who makes the final decision on all expenses and expenses, must be decided even before the wedding so that there are no quarrels and misunderstandings.

How to come to a consensus

The most common situation is when during the period of courtship a man was generous, gave gifts and flowers, and after the wedding he began to show the traits of a miser. Many women have experienced that the husband does not pay his salary, and for all the requests and hints of the spouse, he prefers to make independent purchases or allocate a strictly agreed amount for expenses. There may be several reasons for this:

  1. Before formalizing the relationship, the man wanted to impress his beloved, and then decided that this was no longer necessary.
  2. The woman did not appreciate the actions of the man and did not express approval of his spending, so he decided that this expressed her attitude towards money, and she should not give it to her.
  3. The woman showed that she is too wasteful and does not know how to properly plan finances, so the man does not trust her with the issue of money.
  4. The man was influenced by acquaintances and friends who scared him with stories about female extravagance, so he decided to deal with financial issues on his own.

Whatever reasons prompted a man to such behavior, they should be clarified and discussed so as not to accumulate a misunderstanding. It is important to understand how to agree and come to a common opinion. At the same time, you should try not to blame your partner and control your own negative emotions, showing goodwill and willingness to find compromises.

Plan and distribute

If you initially show a man your interest, willingness to listen and the ability to correctly distribute family funds, you can assure a man of your own frugality. To do this, you will have to learn how to properly manage the overall budget.

In this matter, there are several rules that should be remembered and followed:

  1. It is important to understand the amount of any cash receipts in the family and record the total income of all its members.
  2. Next, you should write down all items of mandatory expenses and fix their sizes. That is, to list those items on which it is impossible not to spend money - paying for an apartment and utilities, purchasing food, spending on transport or a car, paying for mobile communications, contributing funds to school and educational institutions for children.
  3. Having painted the main items of expenditure, it is worth comparing the amount received with the figure of income. With proper and competent planning, spending should not exceed finance receipts in the family budget. If this is not the case, you will have to reconsider the costs or consider additional work. Sometimes the husband does not give money, because only he works, and his income is not enough for the family. Then the question may arise that a woman should also go to work.
  4. Further, it is important to correctly distribute the amount by which income exceeds expenses. This issue requires joint discussion and prioritization. Perhaps it will be a big purchase, travel or renovation.

Seeing such an approach on the part of a woman to the distribution of the budget, a man will definitely appreciate the efforts of his wife and will trust her with financial matters. On the other hand, such joint discussions and solutions to emerging situations in family life unite the spouses and prevent the relationship from moving into the stage of indifference and ignoring.

Petty women's expenses

Most often, such a problem, when a husband does not give a woman money, arises when he works, and she is at home - on maternity leave or just a housewife. The distribution of the budget is correct, there is enough money for basic family needs, and women's needs are not taken into account, or the spouse constantly has to be asked. Some of the fair sex even argue that you need to beg for money for tights and lipstick.

The reason for such a problem is most often the same - a man does not understand the meaning, importance and necessity of such purchases. In this regard, psychologists give women such advice.

Try to explain your own needs, express your desires and tell why you need to buy another tube of cream or a new pair of tights. At first, there should be a lot of such explanations, not because a man feels sorry for the money for a scarf, but because he really does not understand why he is needed.

Write lists of necessary purchases, including all your “little things” and desires. You should not think that such trifles do not need to be painted, that they are uninteresting to a man or will cause him irritation. On the contrary, justified necessity is a weighty argument for a man, and over time he will get used to such “little things”.

The hardest thing is to ask or find money to buy gifts for your loved one if a woman does not have her own source of income. There are two options here: if you want to make a surprise, you will have to go for a trick, and if a man doesn’t care how unexpected his present will be, you can go and choose it together.

There is an alternative method - to stipulate a specific amount that a man will allocate to a woman every month or once a week. At the same time, it is necessary to agree that he does not ask where the spouse spent them, and does not control her expenses.

Having agreed on all the conditions and nuances of financial issues, clearly identifying your own needs and comparing them with general capabilities, you can come to an agreement and not make a big problem out of it. It is important to talk calmly and try to understand your partner; in the family, the general opinion matters, and not individual interests.

A good way to show a man where the money is going is by joint purchases of groceries and household chemicals, which allow the spouse to see the real cost and volume of expenses. Another option is to hand him a list of groceries and let him do the shopping himself, or let him fill out utility bills. In such situations, the stronger sex usually has questions, not where did the wife put the money, but where did she get the extra?

What to do with a greedy man

Sometimes the reason that the husband does not want to give his wife money lies in the banal and ordinary greed. Then all conversations are useless, and attempts to explain their own needs will only cause protest and even greater isolation of the man.

There are only three options for actions that a wife can apply:

  • you can do nothing and not have conversations with your spouse, looking for money for yourself in ordinary expenses and saving on food, that is, getting them by cunning;
  • you can try to fix your man, express your needs and dissatisfaction, trying to reach out to your lover, ask and prove the need to receive money - sooner or later out of love or, tired of constant persuasion, he will agree;
  • do not connect your life with a greedy man, do not waste time and effort on this, finding someone who will be generous and ready to provide for his beloved.

Sometimes a man's greed is due to children's attitudes and stereotypes, especially if he grew up in a poor family, where there was always not enough money. Then, in adulthood, he will constantly try to save and save finances.

Another situation is when he really does not have them, and incomes do not allow him to spend too much. In this case, it is worth reconsidering the type of activity that allows you to earn and think about how to get more money.

You just recently got married, but your husband does not give money for family and personal expenses? This is possible, as is the case when questions about the distribution of money in the family arise only after many years of marriage.

Family budgeting is an art in which different distributions of money are possible. Many women want to feel financial comfort and do not accept when they do not have the ability to manage money.

Why does the husband not give money to his wife and how to deal with it? You will learn this and much more from our article.

Why does the husband not give money?

Before proceeding to solve the problem, you need to understand its cause. There are many explanations why a husband behaves this way and does not allocate money to his wife. Some of them can be fixed quite easily - some men simply do not understand that a woman needs money for both personal and household needs. In this case, a conversation and illustrative examples will suffice.

As for the rest of the reasons, here the problem is much deeper. The husband does not give money to his wife for the following reasons:

He is used to doing everything only for himself and does not think that his wife also needs something. Periodic reproaches usually improve the situation only for a while, but when it comes to distributing wages, he again does not remember the needs of his wife.

Saving is good, but only in moderation. When a man tries to save money in everything, it reaches the point of absurdity! “Why do you need new tights if you can sew up the old ones?”, “Maybe we won’t eat meat?”, “You can buy used clothes and equipment, why overpay for a new one?”.

The thought of sharing money with someone makes him irritated, even if that someone is his beloved wife. It is most difficult to eradicate such qualities in a person, since they are formed over the years and can be caused by external factors, or upbringing, and not just thoughts in his head.

Rebuke and manipulation

He likes to reproach his wife with the fact that she asks him for money and periodically he gives it to her. Such a relationship cannot be called healthy, since it is wrong to take pleasure in the fact that you put your soulmate in an uncomfortable position. The husband reproaches with money also in the case when there are problems in the relationship that are not related specifically to this.

Childhood trauma and poverty

Perhaps your husband had a bad example of a financial relationship before his eyes. For example, his parents did not earn enough, and those funds that were still there were spent on unnecessary and useless purchases. Such a trace is deposited in the mind for a long time - in many cases for life. It seems to him that only he knows how to properly manage money.

Should a man give money to his wife?

If a husband does not give money to his wife, maybe this is normal, and there is nothing wrong with that? Even with the time of the primitive system, a man was considered a breadwinner, and from century to century this tradition was only consolidated. A man earns money for the needs of his family, and a woman takes care of the household and children. Of course, today this trend is not everywhere, since many women work and contribute to the family budget, but if you are wondering “Husband does not give money: what to do?”, then this is not about your family.

When a man marries his beloved woman, they begin to be bound not only by a stamp in the passport, but by something more. The husband takes his beloved from his father's house, where she was taken care of, including financially. Now this duty passes to him, and in return he receives the comfort of the house and children, who become a continuation of his family. It is not necessary to immediately have children, but this option is also possible.

A man should give money to his wife so that she can spend it on both household and personal needs. Also, he can keep part of the earnings for himself and not tell his wife about the stash - such actions can be understood, but he is obliged to give money for the necessary and even more.

If the husband does not give money - what to do and how to be?

You already know that a husband should give money to his wife and have learned the main reasons why he does not, but how to deal with this problem? It all depends solely on the situation, but general recommendations will definitely help you cope with the current financial misunderstanding.

If the husband does not give money on maternity leave or for a child

A decree is a special time that lasts 3 years and during this time a woman needs special financial support from her husband. Since after the child turns 1.5 years old, assistance from the state is only a couple of hundred rubles, is it money?

When deciding to have a child, a man must be aware of what expenses will follow. They can be divided into global ones before the birth of a child (carriage, crib, changing table, clothes), and those that will be permanent. At a younger age, these are diapers, baby food, medicines, clothes (children grow very quickly). After a few years, the child will need to be collected in the garden, then to school, and then also at the university you need to learn. Depending on at what stage you have disagreements with your husband, you can use the following tips:

  1. Explain to him the need for planned expenses and their importance for the child.
  2. Approximately describe how much it costs, since men often do not represent the cost of a stroller or school uniform.
  3. Start reproaching him with the fact that his own child suffers because of his greed / stinginess. The method is tough, but if a man is interested in family relationships, then he will work.

If he does not give money for the economy

Is your house old renovation, and the plumbing is constantly breaking down? In this case, you cannot do without household expenses, but what if the husband does not give money for this and closes this topic in every possible way?

  • Explain to him that regular expenses for the household allow you to avoid global spending in the future. When the walls begin to crumble, and the pipes become completely clogged, your housing will become unusable, so it is better to prevent such problems than to solve them from scratch later.
  • Offer to reduce household expenses so that he does something around the house. In the process, he will understand the cost of consumables, and maybe even decide to pay the master when he realizes how difficult everything is.
  • It is not only about repairs, but also about fixed household expenses.

    If the husband does not give money for personal needs and clothes

    A man must understand that a woman constantly needs to spend money on herself. Otherwise, from a beautiful girl, she will turn into a tired lady, dressed in old clothes, without makeup, manicure and hair. Do you need it? Definitely not, so such problems need to be addressed radically. If he does not want to give money for this and does not understand conversations and requests, then it makes sense to think about breaking up.

    If he does not give money for food

    If it comes to unwillingness to give money for elementary things, then the problem is very serious. Doesn't give money for groceries? Don't cook for him! Let him try to make something edible from what is at home. An adequate man will give you money the same evening and ask you to cook something tasty, and if not, then it will be extremely difficult to solve the problem.

    Is it worth getting a divorce if the husband reproaches and does not give money to his wife?

    The family is a cell of society in which the halves should be with each other in sorrow and in joy. At the same time, marriage should bring mostly positive emotions. Marriage is built on respect, in addition, spouses must be able to compromise, and not stand their ground to the last.

    When domestic quarrels turn into such serious problems, then you need to try to solve them, but if several attempts do not give the desired effect, then you should get a divorce. If a husband does not give money to his wife, it means that he does not treat her as well as he should.

    Relationships in which one of the halves constantly feels slighted and morally humiliated should end. Divorce is not a sentence, it is the only solution to serious problems.

    How to start earning yourself if the husband does not give money? TOP 4 best ideas!

    • Find yourself in the beauty industry:
    • Manicure, gel polish, eyelash extensions, sugar and wax depilation, keratin and hair botox - all these procedures are in demand, and most of them can be mastered within a month. The acquired skills can be used to earn money. The advantage of such a part-time job is that you will work as much as you want.

      Almost everyone can write and rewrite texts in their own words. Start with simple orders on general topics, gradually gaining experience and increasing your rates. You can work remotely on various exchanges.

      • Create your blog or website and earn from ads:
      • Invest your time and energy in order to receive a stable passive income in the future. For example, take a look at Google AdSense. This is a very profitable business!

        Create with your own hands and sell the resulting products (handmade soap, knitted hats, metrics, paintings and much more).

        A useful video about the most popular and well-paid types of home needlework that can be turned into a business:

        When the husband does not give money, you can try to solve the problem, and depending on whether there will be a result or not, you need to decide what to do next. Divorce is an extreme method, but if the husband does not give money for the most necessary things and does not want to improve, then your leaving will be the right and rational decision. And in no case should you be afraid of public opinion or be left alone!

        Why does the husband not give money to his wife and what to do about it?

        What to do if your husband does not give you money? Sometimes women face such a question, whose husbands are stingy to allocate an extra penny for a gift or for things that are quite necessary for the family. There is a type of men who earn well, but are prone to excessive savings. This behavior often offends their soul mates. Any purchase or another waste of money is faced with a violent protest from his side. What to do if the husband does not give money, this needs to be dealt with in more detail.

        Economy or greed?

        Many men simply do not understand the line between economy and banal greed. He can constantly look for excuses and reasons why he does not spend money on flowers and gifts. But in fact, he only thinks about himself at the moment. There are many reasons for such behavior.

        Perhaps in childhood he had a hard time, he was malnourished. Now he's grown up and makes good money. But he had a subconscious fear of poverty. So I'm used to saving every penny.

        It is important to let him know that this is not saving. That a woman likes attention, including if you have to spend money on flowers and movies. It's possible that he just doesn't get it. Or not yet ready to bring you into your life so close.

        Why are there no gifts from him?

        If a husband gives little money, but at the same time he can earn it, this does not always lie in his childhood. Sometimes it's just stinginess - a pathological character trait. And getting rid of it, alas, is almost impossible. This man believes that one blouse every five years is enough. And the flowers will wither very quickly, and you can watch movies at home online.

        Some men just can't bring themselves to buy a gift for nothing. And the reason for this may not be only greed. Sometimes it can be a kind of protection.

        For example, once he was faced with the fact that he was forced to buy something, money was lured out by force. Maybe he had a wife or a girlfriend who constantly sawed, forced to spend, reproached for lack of money.

        After a negative past experience, he now has a definite opinion about useless spending (they say, why is it spent if it is always not enough for them anyway). In this case, you can help him, break his stereotypes, show that you love him without money.

        What should I do to make him give flowers?

        It is necessary to formulate a peculiar attitude for him - he gave flowers - you have a good mood all day, you are affectionate. Let him understand that by buying a bouquet, he will not only achieve your location, but also give a wonderful mood for the whole day.

        So you show him that it is nice to give gifts or pleasant things, that a kind of payment will follow. This is especially true if a man thinks something like this: “I won’t give, they won’t appreciate it anyway.” So, your task is to evaluate, to prove the opposite. And the effect will not be long in coming.

        He may also be simply afraid that now he will spoil you with his attention. What if a moment comes when he will not receive so well, and this inner fear of possible insolvency frightens him. Your task is to prove it back.

        With each purchase, express delight, thank, praise. Let him not think that you are accustomed to attention, spoiled. Soon he himself will give the earned capital, trusting you with spending. After all, he now knows that you will not waste your money, since you are so happy with the little things.

        Why doesn't he have enough money?

        Often, a family may be faced with the fact that the husband does not give money to his wife. There are specific reasons for this:

      • Husband doesn't work. He may stop working due to various circumstances. For example, he got laid off, quit himself, fell ill or moved. In this case, your task is to do as much as possible so that he gets a job again. It is necessary to convince him that all the difficulties are temporary, that he is a good specialist and will definitely find a job.
      • He can work, but not earn. The reasons for this phenomenon may be an insufficient level of qualification, lack of work experience, lack of motivation to move up the career ladder, a frivolous attitude to work, banal irresponsibility. In this case, you need to convince him that the family needs to be provided for, that he is the main earner. And only he can take care of the well-being of the family, give the children and wife what they need. Don't forget praise. This is the best way to motivate and stimulate change in life. Quarrels and reproaches will not lead to anything good.
      • And if he is pathologically greedy? The reason may be such a character trait, the presence of another woman or a gambling addiction. In this case, you should not try to deal with greed on your own. If he earns well, he always has money, but at the same time he does not invest what he earns in the family budget, perhaps the situation has reached a dead end, he himself does not know how to get out of it.

        Or does not want to live with you anymore, but cannot decide on the last step. A frank conversation will help to find out the true reasons for such behavior. It is unacceptable in a family to spend money only on their own pleasures, when the wife or children need elementary things.

        How to overcome greed?

        According to many psychologists, a greedy or overly economical man can be seen even at the stage of acquaintance and the beginning of communication. And if he is in no hurry to give flowers, gifts, does not take him to a cafe or cinema, he is convinced that this is a waste. In the future life together, he sincerely wonders why earlier no one demanded anything from him, and now resentment and reproaches appear. It is important at the stage of communication to recognize such a negative character trait, to start fighting it or retreat.

        Indeed, in the future, he will consider that he is not obliged not only to support his wife, but also joint children, and this is already a pathological situation. You may need to visit a psychotherapist together to help him understand the importance of financial spending in the family. A sincere attitude, conversations sometimes help a woman to overcome such an attitude towards herself on her own.

        All in your hands. But remember, you will need patience and diligence. The process of dealing with greed is long and tiring. And it does not always end with a positive result.

        Greedy husband. What to do if the husband does not give money?

        It often happens to hear from women that their husband is a terrible miser. It is embarrassing to tell them about this, because they are sure that this is a big problem in family relationships. A person who demands to be accountable for every penny spent loses his temper if a woman spends more than planned, does not command the respect of others. In addition, he does not understand that this shortcoming of his humiliates and insults his wife. A woman is unable to correct the situation, she does not have sufficient knowledge to make adjustments to her husband's behavior. There may be several reasons for this, respectively, and there are also many options for influencing a man.

        If the husband is greedy: reasons

        There are several reasons why the husband became greedy:

        The husband's parents are very greedy people who presented their shortcomings to the child as a great virtue.

        The logic is correct, but not correct.

        The husband is saving up for a big purchase. If you know that your husband is saving up for a major purchase, do not make a scene about the fact that he has cheated you in some way. Perhaps later, he will give you more than you wanted to spend today.

        Despot. A man who does not have self-confidence and self-sufficiency is trying to make a “beggar” out of you, who begs a pretty penny with humiliation. It doesn’t matter to him at all whether you buy milk for a child or lipstick for this penny. The main thing is that he felt like a hero, they kowtowed before him!

        Control. You marry the man who promises to turn your life into a fairy tale. Only he does not specify that you will find yourself in a terrible fairy tale. He allows you to graduate from college, then says that children should see their mother more often than kindergarten teachers. You quit your job, take care of the children in the firm belief that your husband knows his duties and will provide you with everything you need. No matter how! He will earn some money, but whether you get this money from him or not is a question! There are a lot of reasons not to give you money for a new blouse:

        Why do you need her? You still don't go anywhere;

        Who are you dressing up for if I love you anyway? So, while I'm at work, your lover comes to you?

        Tell me what you need, I'll go and buy it myself.

        You can continue indefinitely! By the way, it is impossible to fix this type of men!

        In other cases, it is possible to convince a person and prove to him that he is wrong.

        So, what methods to influence the greedy husband? What to do if a person hides part of the salary or generally tries to avoid talking about money in the house.

        If you want your husband to stop nitpicking about where the money goes, keep a diary where each page is dedicated to what you bought that day. Also, collect receipts and pin them to the expense list page.

        After some time, you will have evidence that the money is spent not on your trinkets and shoes, but on the arrangement and maintenance of the family hearth.

        You are the mistress of the house, who knows how much money you need to spend per month on groceries, how much on utilities, and how much to set aside for unforeseen expenses. Agree these amounts with your husband, and agree to put the rest in a piggy bank. The piggy bank can only be accessed in case of emergency. Leave money for yourself and your husband for personal expenses. Let you put less in the piggy bank, but it will be an emergency reserve.

        This option is suitable for those families in which there are no children yet. Husband doesn't like that you spend a lot? It is very easy to refute this claim. Notify the man that for the next month, each of you lives on your salary. No, you do not stop living together and loving each other. It's just an experiment! Most likely, your hero will surrender in ten days.

        You have long decided that it is time to change the car for a new one. Take on the challenge of raising funds for this purchase. Show your husband that you care about the status of your family in society, no less than he does. Set aside every penny you find for a future purchase. Ultimately, having bought a new car, the husband will understand that you can be trusted with the family budget.

        Rarely is it possible to re-educate an adult. This is especially true for a man who has had a stereotype in his head since childhood that all women are spenders. If you love this person, and do not want to part with him because of his lack, stock up on a lot of patience. Explain, talk, point out that he is not behaving correctly. Give examples from movies, books, and life stories. Just do not set as an example the relationship in the families of your friends and relatives. This will only piss off the man. After all, other families have their own problems.

        What to do if the husband does not give money?

        This problem is acute in recent years in many families. Not all women have the opportunity to go to work for various reasons. Some women are forced to stay at home, caring for the baby, while others are in the last months of pregnancy.

        But these women practically do not receive money from their husbands. And those women who work and invest the money they earn in the family budget do not receive financial support for the house from their spouse.

        If this happens, you need to talk seriously with your husband. He must explain for what reason does not give out money. Many men are accustomed to slowly collecting money from their wife for large purchases and believe that a woman is able to squander all the money on completely useless things, so they are afraid to give money to their spouse. But, in the process of saving, men, nevertheless, should not forget that there are such things as cooking, washing, separate products for the child. All these things also require significant funds, which, in principle, there is nowhere for a woman sitting at home to take. Yes, and a woman puts a lot of effort into washing and cooking delicious food for her husband, this also needs to be taken into account.

        But a woman should not start such an important conversation with the words “Let's finally talk seriously!” This will cause the husband to become aggressive, or he will simply be frightened of the conversation and try his best to avoid it. A conversation about the family budget can be started by saying: “You know, dear, I would like to discuss with you some issues related to the economic side.” You can’t speak in a raised tone, you won’t achieve anything by this, but, after all, your main goal is to convince your spouse to give out money for household expenses, and, possibly, for you too. First of all, you must carefully prepare for the conversation. Make a list of the expenses that you incur when going shopping. For each product or item, list the price you pay (maybe your husband doesn't know the price of groceries has doubled yet). Additionally, it is recommended to keep all receipts for food and household products. Let your spouse see where his money is going.

        Naturally, you should not show other checks, for example, for a recently acquired, magnificent blouse. During the conversation, it will not be superfluous to find out what duties in the house for the economic part will be performed by your husband.

        The best female strategy during a conversation is to ask for help and compromise. You should not go on the offensive, even if your spouse reacts quite sharply to all your comments. If the husband is categorically against it, ask him to argue his point of view. Perhaps he has some questions or wishes for you. It's up to you to find out. Understanding, gentleness and the desire for compromise will help you resolve a controversial situation.

        Probably, from the very beginning you yourself made mistakes when you tried to divide everything into “mine” and “yours”. For example, a refrigerator, most likely, belongs to the total cost, but it is unlikely that your husband will like it if you do not take food out of it at least once a day and cook food.

        Usually two spouses invest money in the family budget. If you also contribute to the family basket, sit down with your husband and count him and your spending on groceries, pocket money, living expenses, and housing expenses.

        Ask your spouse to notify you of additional large expenses.

        The family budget can be created in different ways. You can, for example, invest the same amount in the family basket. The money you have left, you can spend as you want. Spouses do not have the right, at the same time, to control these expenses.

        In the second case, all, without exception, the money should go to the family basket, but if any out-of-pocket expenses or a large purchase are required, the money can be taken from the family budget.?

        Husband does not give money, how to fix it?

        The husband does not give money. What to do: tips and strategies.

        According to the strong half, there are no greedy men, but there are mercantile ladies. But in fact, the family is also a joint household, so the material concerns of the family should lie not only on women's shoulders. Agree, a husband who loves to eat is cruel enough and forces his wife with a lower salary to get out with all her might. It’s worth saying right away: a man, especially a greedy one, is incredibly difficult to re-educate. But you can try.

        When the game is not worth the candle

        There can be many reasons why a husband does not give money, but we will not understand this. You should not continue a relationship with a man in several cases:

      • Firstly, if the money goes to a mistress or another family;
      • There will be nothing good if the husband saves not only on you, but also on the children. Think for yourself: all your life you will have to pull on yourself not only a child, but also a husband. In this case, the man is not a support, but turns into another burden;
      • It is worth analyzing the “you-husband-money” love triangle from the moment when you just started dating: did he give gifts, did he take you anywhere, did he spoil you. If not, then you probably won't be able to fix it.
      • But such mischief, in fact, is rare. Most often, husbands simply do not understand that you need money for his own food and for his own comfort. Your job is to let him know.

        In addition, sometimes the wives themselves are to blame. In a period when a couple is in love and just meets, you may not notice that a man saves on a girl. But the foundations of a joint household are laid even before the wedding. But even if you missed this moment, something can be fixed. Here are just a few strategies for dealing with the miser.

        Prove to your husband that you are not a spender

        This can be effective if the husband’s father saved on his mother, if the husband grew up in a poor family and therefore saves on everything, investing money not in the family, but in the business, or if he considers all women to be spenders.

        First of all, do not throw a tantrum on a man. As an experiment, you can buy everything on your own for a month and keep all receipts, as well as keep accounts: what was bought for breakfast, lunch and dinner, how much money was given for utilities and the Internet ... Summarize and show him all the shopping lists. Let him make sure you don't waste money on nonsense. You can also appoint him responsible for all purchases of groceries and household chemicals, as well as for paying utility bills. Let him buy everything himself. At the end of the month, he will be convinced that your requests to allocate money for the household are well founded. If even after such experiments the husband remains a stingy knight, think about what keeps you next to him.

        Do not try to be responsible for all family expenses. Just be smarter. When asking your loved one what he wants for dinner, order all the products you need for dinner, and at the same time, what is missing in the refrigerator.

        Second option. During the preparation of the meal, write out all the products that were used at the same time in a notebook. You can also enter prices there. When he once again declares that there is nothing to eat at home, just give him this document and give him the opportunity to study it. On the basis of the "document" you can also make a list of the products he needs for a month. Let him go and buy himself. Better together.

        It is important to know! To make the husband more willing to give money, name specific amounts and state the most accurate number of purchases. So it will be easier for him to understand what they want from him.

        Create comfort and security

        If your husband grew up in a poor family, then the habit of saving will remain with him for life, as well as the fear of poverty and uncertainty about the future. What should you do? Just create a favorable aura at home. First, adequately explain to your loved one why you need a new heavy-duty vacuum cleaner or food processor. Secondly, perform your duties with pleasure. Let the house become a cozy nest, where it is cozy and warm.

        Do not forget to please your husband and inspire him. Be sure to cheer him up and share the feminine energy with him. Communicate with him, giving your warmth and sharing a smile. But what you really can’t do is to take on all the material worries about the family and even about gifts to him. Be a woman.

        If affection and tenderness are not entirely effective, more stringent measures can be taken. For example, cook dinner from what you have. There is only pearl barley at home - to cook barley porridge without anything. If there is nothing at home, we do not cook anything. Let him realize how important his money is in the family.

        There is one more option. If the husband resists, you can send him to go shopping or pay the water or internet bills. If he asks why not you, then say that the salary was delayed, but there is no money.

        It is important to know! When receiving a salary, be sure to give part of the money to your husband. So he will understand how grateful you are to him for the money that he gives you. In any case, it is important that a man feels like a real earner in the family, and not just a machine for issuing money. Always thank him sincerely and from the bottom of your heart. Maybe even in front of people.

        How to ask for money for your own needs

        This is more difficult than asking for money for the household, but it is also permissible and necessary. First of all, you need to understand that you are asking for money for the most expensive thing that he has, that is, for himself. This will give you extra strength.

        In order to ask for money for your own needs, please your husband. Arrange for him a luxurious dinner and the most beautiful date that he has not seen even before the wedding. Let you have a luxurious dress and lace stockings, and let his favorite dishes be on the table. By the way, a date can take place not only at home, but also on its roof. However, it does not matter what it will be. The main thing is that your man is satisfied and relaxed. It is at this moment that you can ask him about the money for your cherished dream. If artistry and plasticity allow you, you can dance a striptease or a belly dance for him. The most important thing is to become his dream, the very woman he once married.

        There is another important point. Promise that you will show him that the money invested has not disappeared without a trace. If it was cosmetics, then turn yourself into a supermodel with it, if you asked for money for a dress, then be sure to show off in front of your husband. Men are more important than the result.

        * If your husband unreasonably accuses you of squandering or simply does not want to spend money on you, you can threaten that you will go "begging" for friends. He definitely won't be able to handle it. As a last resort, you can ask friends to buy you something that he does not want to buy you. And if this is done with a large company, he will definitely understand his mistakes.

        * Be sure to tell your husband how much you need this money. When talking, do not use feelings and emotions, but only logic.

        * Having received the treasured funds, try to hide from his eyes. Let it cool down and rest from you.

        Asking your husband for money is not a shame at all. It is important not to forget that you are a woman, not a terminator or a paper money machine. In the end, it is you who create the microclimate in your family and this is only your task, so you have the right to material investments in it.

        The husband does not give money - a question to the psychologist.

        Hello, Elena. You write that since you were on maternity leave, you began to quarrel with your husband - as a rule, men are having a hard time when their wife is on maternity leave, because they feel a lack of attention (it is all riveted to a child or children), affection, self-care, feel "out of work", abandoned, just a tool for supplying the family with money. Therefore, you need to correct this situation: in order for him to be imbued with your needs, include him more often in caring for children, show signs of attention to each other - those that were when there were only two of you. There is also such a moment - did your husband want a second child? If it was only your idea, then it is not surprising that now he considers it necessary to make decisions alone, for example, to go to the sea - because you once made the decision to give birth to a second child. If this is not the case, and your husband also wanted a child, remind him of this now. What options can you have in your situation - either endure everything as it is; or imbued with his position and be sure give thanks, be grateful for the money he gives you - so that he gets his share of the pleasure of providing the family with money, and not feel like just a cog, as if it should be so. This will motivate him to give you more money and feel his importance, value, in a word, a balm for his soul. Or a radical way of behavior (but first think carefully about whether you are ready for it, because once you said it, but didn’t do it, you thereby make it clear that your words are worth nothing) is a divorce and alimony on his part for two children. How to behave better, of course, is better for you, and I think you first need to try in a good way - remember why you once fell in love with him, start expressing your love, giving your attention and being grateful. In order for him to enter into your position, first try to understand him: just imagine that you get purely female satisfaction while taking care of children, he is a man and this may not be of much interest to him, he is interested in new sensations, meeting friends, a trip to the sea (by the way, in your company) - in order to also feel satisfaction from life. And read the article Methods of influence in communication, if you can - get it and read the book “How to change your man. Women's Guide Michelle Weiner-Davies. Good luck and understanding!

        Sometimes life together brings the most unexpected surprises. More recently, your boyfriend spoiled you with gifts and spared no expense on you. But as soon as you moved into shared housing, everything changed. The husband does not give money either for clothes, or for food, or to pay bills.

        What is the reason for his greed? And how to overcome it?

      • Your husband thinks you are not economical. He believes that as soon as the money falls into your hands, you immediately rush to spend it on your trinkets, which will turn into unnecessary trash. He thinks that you are too easy on the money earned by sweat and blood. Now we are not talking about shopaholics, we are talking about a normal woman who sometimes needs clothes and shoes. Men do not think like women, they are convinced that buying three shirts a year is absolutely normal. They do not understand why a woman needs several pairs of shoes and why it is impossible to appear in the office in the same outfit for several days in a row.

        Situations are different, but in no case should you give up. Men are quite adequate creatures, so they can understand you and accept the conditions set. It's always easier to compromise.

        As far as I have studied this question about the greed of husbands, it is nothing more than domestic violence. From the video, the psychologist essentially stands up for the husbands of tyrants, and classifies women as inadequate persons! I am generally shocked.

        I've been on maternity leave for 3 years now. I was about to go to work, but not everyone wants to take on work problems with young children. At first, the husband was very good and helped with the child and fur coats, gave diamonds and gave his salary. Until one day my mother-in-law intervened. It's been 4 years since then. I gave birth to my second child in the hope that he would change .. only now he is getting worse and worse every day. Home groceries buys and pays bills. But he doesn’t give me money for personal expenses or children to buy fruits or clothes, he thinks it’s a waste of money. He refers that all the money goes to the apartment in shared construction, allegedly he saves there, but how much he has set aside and whether he saves at all does not tell me in words. Products like bread, milk and meat consider this enough, but the fact that children want fruit and cottage cheese, he does not consider it necessary. I stopped buying clothes at all, so I’m looking for a job, but there’s nothing to go to an interview. He gives unfortunate 100-200 rubles and then asks for a report on where I’m doing, although with the same money I can buy home cucumber tomatoes and also make him a salad. He will eat this salad and says that he should not have taken it. He even wants to buy pads for me himself so that I don’t spend anything extra. And with all this, he ceased to reckon with me at all, does not respect how I begin to ask him for money for little things. A quarrel begins where he swears at me and humiliates me on what light stands. Not a single kind word, If I'm sick, he doesn't care at all, he won't even ask how his health is, he gives money for medicines reluctantly and grumbles. There was no intimate relationship for more than a month without even trying. And the fact that he has someone, he is always at home in the evenings. I am so tired of him, there is nowhere to go, there is no work, the children are small. But I already hate him. I don’t know how to be ... (

        Hold on. I have the same situation. I have been married for 12 years and have three small children. Bastardism and indifference have grown to such an extent that we are on the verge of a divorce on my initiative. So…. Listen to your heart.

        It's easy to argue, go earn it yourself if you have children in your arms. I, alas, was also unlucky, and at the extreme stage: my husband earns well, but keep asking ... I don’t know where to go, debts are constant.

        The most interesting thing is that I once helped him, gave him a lot of money to pay off his debts and buy a car. While she was working fine, but as it turned out on the decree: “all of it” right away, and I can generally fall into the fog, it will burn everything, but it won’t give me a penny, I issued everything for myself, even what I bought for mine.

        It is impossible to live with a miser. Sorry, you want to puke when you read, for example, articles about infidelity or greed, and how the authors deftly twist everything and blame wives for everything. After such articles, the already lost self-esteem falls even more. My personal experience has shown that a cheater will always cheat, and a greedy one will never give you anything. And you don’t need to rush about with this “freak”, save your family, try to change relationships in the family or change yourself, you must immediately leave such a “treasure”, and not waste your precious health, youth and life.

        Personally, I lost 8 years. My husband is a combination of a greedy cheater. He does not spare money for himself, for his mistresses, for gifts for his mistresses, for going to restaurants with his mistresses .... but for me

        He works a lot, he can also work on weekends. Earns decent money. At the same time, he rents his apartment, he has all the money. He practically does not buy products. he eats somewhere in cafes, he doesn’t pay for my apartment where we live together, he says that this is not his apartment, I’m not talking about just giving me money for cosmetics, clothes, etc., he doesn’t give me gifts.

        We are officially married. I tried ALL ways to change the situation, and the "carrot" and "whip", and the help of a psychologist, and self-improvement, but it's just useless. I will not describe in detail our deceitful life, it is disgusting for me to remember it myself.

        The case ended with the fact that his betrayals and greed killed love in me. He really disgusted me. And I told him directly that I could no longer lie, humiliate myself to endure what cannot be tolerated, and most importantly, I said that I did not love him anymore. In response to this, he called me names, said: “Are you a queen, should I give you money?” and took out all the equipment from the apartment, including the child's laptop))))

    Sometimes, family life is ready to present unexpected surprises. Until recently, your young man spoiled you with gifts, spared neither money nor attention on you. But as soon as you started living together, everything changed. Now the husband does not give money not only for the next purse, but even for food and to pay bills.

    What is the reason for such stinginess and how to deal with it?

    Husband thinks you're a spender

    Sometimes this happens because men are not sure about the economy of their wives. They simply do not doubt: as soon as a woman takes the money in her hands, she immediately runs to spend it on her own trinkets and rubbish that no one needs. They do not believe in the common sense and sober calculation of their girlfriends, they suspect them of an easy attitude to the money they earn.

    Let's not talk about shopaholic women who lower the family budget in stores - it is clear here why the husband does not give money. We are talking about ordinary, normal women who, in addition to food, also need clothes with shoes in their lives.

    What can you do, men have such a warehouse of character: they are sure that buying one or two shirts a year is absolutely enough. They simply cannot understand why a woman needs several pairs of shoes and why you can’t go to the office in the same pair for two weeks in a row.

    Try to talk to your chosen one. Do not start the conversation with scary words: “We need to have a serious talk about money!”. By doing this, you will only frighten the man and set him up against your arguments in advance. Try it another way: "Darling, let's discuss some problems, I've been having a few difficulties lately." Explaining to him the reasons, telling him about the cost of the necessary purchases, you will surely get his understanding and approval. If a man knows exactly what goals his finances are used for and sees the need to purchase certain things, he will part with money much easier.

    Unwillingness to delve into "minor" problems

    There is a type of man who has never bothered buying groceries and paying bills before. They are sure that all these expenses are a mere trifle, and their "majesty" should not condescend to simple everyday problems. Cut off from reality, they may not realize that grocery store prices are mushrooming and rents have almost doubled in the past year.

    It's time to click on the noses of the smarties and present the checks for the food collected during the week. And it is better to keep receipts for rent, bills for the Internet, telephone, utilities in a conspicuous place. Get a notebook of income and expenses, explain to your husband that miracles do not happen. Most of your personal funds (if not all) goes to general household expenses.

    After all, if you work for the sake of paying for services and grocery shopping, then what is he working for? For a good beer in the evenings and a new smartphone? If your husband does not give money even for household expenses, what kind of equality in the family can we talk about?

    Try to offer him a compromise option: you and he invest equal amounts in the household, and everyone spends the rest of the money at their own discretion.

    Husband saves money for an expensive purchase

    Sometimes men save money for a big purchase and do not give their wives a penny for other expenses. Well, if the husband collects money for a certain thing that the whole family needs, then you will have to tighten your belts and adapt to temporary difficulties. It can be a large SUV that you will use to get to work together, or a trip ticket that you have been dreaming of for a long time.

    But even the need for austerity should not jeopardize your family budget. The fact that the husband does not give money for the simplest needs of the household indicates that you are poorly managing the financial issues of the family.

    In addition to the dream of a big expensive purchase, your husband should have an idea of ​​​​how to make life easier for you and not shoulder the provision of the entire family on fragile shoulders.

    Let you buy the desired car a little later, but you don’t have to pull the strap of all household expenses alone.

    You won't be satisfied with love alone...

    Some men are sure that they have ensured your happiness by being next to you. Why do you need money, if with a sweet paradise and in a hut? He made you so happy, and you overshadow the romance of the relationship by demanding some money.

    Remember how in a wonderful cartoon a man said to his woman: "If you want, I will give you this star ...". And she, the poor fellow, cleaned everything and cleaned the pans. So, this version of the relationship is still relevant for many women.

    Having fallen for the bait once, wives have to endure such an attitude forever. For some reason, men are sure that meat and fruits grow right in the refrigerator, and the rent and phone bills are paid by themselves.

    The sooner you try to cure your spouse of infantilism, the better. Write to him on paper how much money you spend on food and utilities, ask for help. Suggest that he keep a joint family budget, for example, put money in one place. If necessary, everyone will take the required amount, and you will negotiate large purchases.

    Caution: tyrant

    Some husbands go shopping on their own and pay all the bills. They fill the refrigerator without further ado and make all the necessary expenses. But they don't give money to their wife. At all. And work is also forbidden.

    Unhappy women unsuccessfully beg them for crumbs for the necessary little things, and then, humiliating themselves, ask for a loan from their friends and parents. What to do if the husband does not give money and forbids going to work?

    It's up to you to decide. Most often, this behavior indicates that the husband does not have a very high opinion of you. He deprives you of funds to make it easier to control you, and does not allow you to work so as not to give you self-confidence. Such people like meek and unrequited housewives, before whom they do not need to report and make excuses. He is the head of the house, and you should gladly accept the role of a disenfranchised housekeeper.

    Such a husband will never let you go to work - what if you meet a two-meter handsome man there, richer and smarter than him? Then you will end your addiction and go to another.

    First of all, think about yourself in such a situation. No matter how much you love him, anything can happen in life. Families break up, husbands cheat, relationships change - you don’t want to ever be left with nothing, do you?

    Be sure to go to work and become financially independent. Believe me, having gained self-confidence, it will be easier for you to besiege a husband who considers you a nobody. It is quite possible that your spouse, seeing in you not a quiet and boring homebody, but a strong and confident woman, will begin to treat you differently.

    Civil marriage - a pig in a poke?

    If you live in a civil marriage, then you should think about how serious your relationship is. There is a saying: "Civil marriage is when a woman thinks that she is married, and a man that he is single."

    Sometimes a common-law husband does not give money if he considers you a temporary shelter that is not worth spending much. Here, all efforts to establish a joint family budget or hints about expensive purchases will be in vain. Such a man will either remain silent or categorically object to your arguments.

    Call him to frankness and ask about how he sees your relationship in the future. Indistinct mooing and avoiding conversation is a bad sign. If you feel that your chosen one is about ready to pack your bags - leave him first. So you will avoid unnecessary humiliation and give yourself the opportunity to find true love faster.

    If the wife is a treasure, then the husband is entitled to only 25%

    Some women make good money themselves, sometimes even more than their husbands. Of course, this is wonderful - but you should not report this to your husband! Unless you are a deputy, and your husband is not a watchman at a construction site, then the difference in your income can be hidden. Any man is pleased to feel like the breadwinner of the family, do not deprive him of this opportunity.

    If your husband sees that you always have a full wallet, then he does not need to part with his hard-earned money. And it is useless to ask him for money for new boots or food - he will simply consider it a mockery.

    Remain the weaker sex - this spurs men to new achievements for you and does not let you forget about the role of the main breadwinner in the house.

    Greed has killed many...

    The most unpleasant option is when your husband is just very greedy. If he frantically counts every penny spent, if instead of new boots he offers to bring “cast-iron skates”, if he goes to the dentist only to remove teeth (pulling out is cheaper than treating). Then you're just out of luck.

    Perhaps some events in childhood influenced his character, or maybe greed is indulged genetically. In any case, it is very difficult to influence such people.

    Remember the old joke:

    Darling, do you remember that you promised to give me the last when the rainy day comes? So, he has arrived.

    Of course, dear. I can keep my word. Here's your last bullet.

    So it is in life. They save not only on food, but even on such important things as education and treatment.

    As you can imagine, life with such people can be unbearable. Try to explain to him that he is surrounded not by enemies, but by close and loving people. That you are demanding money not for the "tenth fur coat", but for basic necessities. It will not be superfluous to address this problem to a psychologist.

    And if even a specialist did not help, then think about another husband: living in eternal tension and without a penny of money is not the best fate.

    The main thing is not to give up and not let the events of your life flow along an unchanging course. In fact, most men are adequate enough to understand and accept your requirements. Be tactful, but persistent, offer your husband a compromise - and the desire to give you money will certainly appear.