How to survive a breakup with a loved one advice from a psychologist. How do you deal with heartache after a breakup? How to deal with breakups? What to do if the pain after a breakup does not go away

Man is originally a social being who cannot live without communication with his own kind. Therefore, our whole life is a series of meetings and farewells. And how you treat the inevitable depends on your relationship with people in the future.

At first, you see only the best and most beautiful in the object of your love. But in the life of each of us there comes a moment when we have to say goodbye. There can be many reasons for this. But the most inexplicable of them is the departure of a loved one. A lot of questions are crowded in my head, thoughts are confused and life takes on a gray tint of longing.

Depending on how long the relationship was, parting can be different.

A romance that lasted several months is hard to break. But the two do not yet know all the advantages and disadvantages of their soulmate and therefore cannot reliably assess the scale of the loss. It is difficult to lose the one you love, but during this period you have not yet recognized each other, and you have already managed to part. This speaks volumes. On your life path, you met the wrong person that you need.
Marriage that lasts more than 3 years. This is an already formed family, which has its own traditions and concepts of marriage. The separation of such couples is difficult. Passion and love have not yet faded away, it seems that everything can be corrected and “rewritten” family life anew. But this is a delusion. If a person leaves, then he is uncomfortable with you today. By the way, the decision to leave the family is very difficult. Especially a man. After all, no matter how rude it sounds, a person is a very lazy creature and it is still necessary to decide to change the usual sofa, TV and kitchen for the unknown. So, he did not make his decision today. This is a carefully thought out and calculated action.
And finally, the most difficult and tragic breakups are inherent in those people who have been married or in a relationship for more than 10 years. These are established couples who, at times, think one thought for two. There is such a close connection here that each half really feels like a part of something whole. Breaking such strong bonds can be very difficult. And both to the one from whom they leave, and to the one who leaves. For the most part, these are marriages in which there are children. It is they who suffer the most from the breakup of parental relationships. If adults, albeit with difficulty, but can understand the deed of the departing, then it can be impossible for children to explain this.

The first and most important thing to understand is that you should not get depressed after breaking up with your loved one. This will only exacerbate an already incomprehensible situation. Try to get over yourself and follow some of the advice of people who have experienced a breakup.

The chaos that is going on in the head and soul at this time is simply beyond words. Questions are queuing for answers. The most intrusive of them:

- Why?

- For what?

Why did this happen to me?

The answers to all these questions lie on the surface. It’s just that you don’t fit together and the reason is not only one of you. In a breakup, both partners are always to blame. And it happened to you because you just met on your way the wrong person who was supposed to be your destiny. Do not dwell on self-blame, do not blame yourself and do not indulge in bitter thoughts.

Throw out all the accumulated negativity once, cry bitterly, close yourself in your room for a day and take pity on your loved one. But only one day. Do not flirt and do not feel sorry for yourself for too long. Otherwise, you are threatened with depression, which will result in self-doubt and low self-esteem. Tell your mother or best friend about your grief, but in no case about parting with your loved one on social networks. Nevertheless, this is a deeply intimate incident that should not please your "well-wishers".

Upset? Enough! Pull yourself together and start doing your daily activities. It will be very difficult for you to force yourself, but it really helps to disconnect from emotional tension.

Now you need to "put an end." Understand that the flame of hope for the revival of relations that burns in your heart is better to crush at the very beginning. This does not mean that you will not give a second chance to your loved one. Man is a rational being who can make mistakes, so your passion will be able to return to you only if you yourself want it. Just put up with what is today and do not allow the thought of begging your loved one for the return. Don't be humiliated. If a person decides so, then this is his decision, which must be respected. Let him go if you really love him. Consider the moment of his departure as a “point” in the epic of your love story.

Never make plans that supposedly will help you get your loved one back. Especially if it's a trick. Lies, sooner or later, will be revealed and it will only get worse. Do not lose respect for yourself, do not "roll" at the feet of your beloved and do not beg for a return. Then you will be very ashamed of yourself in front of others and yourself.

If you decide to act, guided by common sense and reason, do not deviate from the intended goal. Get rid of intrusive thoughts like:

- Where else can I find such (such);

“I will never be as good as I used to be;

— Who now needs my presence on this Earth;

“I will never love anyone again.

Rave! Do not escalate the situation, sweep unnecessary thoughts out of your head, like old rubbish from a house. It is rightly said that thoughts are material. They only hurt, and they will not bring any benefit.

Our suffering is 90% our fantasies, which we experience again and again. Write on a piece of paper all your experiences and for each of them give 5 facts that this is true. It is doubtful that you will be able to substantiate even one of your obsessions.

The advice of psychologists on how to survive a breakup with a loved one and not fall into despair is unequivocal - get distracted from unnecessary thoughts.

Force yourself to connect with other people. Try to switch your attention to their problems and questions. By isolating yourself from the world, you will only drive yourself into a corner even more and be left alone with your experiences. It's great if your work is connected with communication with people. Even if you get angry at someone around you, you can distract yourself from thinking about yourself. Especially this moment will be convenient in order to feel the parental "wing" again. Haven't been in your home for a long time? Drop everything and go to mom and dad. Walk around your native places, visit places where you have not been since childhood. Talk to your parents, sit at the family table. Meet old friends, remember happy moments and stories from adolescence. This is really proven advice that is worth listening to.
Try to feel different. Change your hairstyle, styling, make-up style, clothes or behavior. Any experiments on oneself during the period of parting with a loved one will certainly be crowned with success. After all, the zeal with which a person is attached to making changes in his life during a period of mental disorder can give its results in the shortest possible time.
Nothing helps? Thoughts continue to torment day and night? Go on a long journey. New people, new countries and nature, all this, like a balm for the soul, will be shed on a wounded heart. Go for as long as circumstances and means permit. The longer the better. Laze on the beach, go to restaurants and nightclubs, sightseeing, indulge in saving shopping. In general, do everything not to be left alone with your thoughts. Most importantly, in this mess of events, you can forget your difficulties, but there is also the opportunity to meet new relationships.
Do good deeds! Go to the Baby House and play with the children, visit the Nursing Home, help your grandmother cross the road or buy her bread in the store. By doing good deeds, we begin to respect ourselves and be proud of our ability to be a sensitive and necessary person. This significantly increases self-esteem and helps to distract from the oppressive feeling of uselessness and loneliness. No need to "rush into the embrasure" and with increased fanaticism take on the overwhelming problems of strangers. Believe me, now you yourself need help.
This advice is rather for those who have a literary talent. Pour out your pain on paper in prose or write poems about parting with a loved one. Perhaps this experiment will radically change your life and help you become a successful writer. In addition, your life experience is invaluable for those who have their whole life ahead of them. This work will help someone not to break loose and not to do trouble in difficult times.

What can not be done when a loved one leaves

Do not alienate loved ones and those who really want to help you in this difficult situation. Accept their help and do not close yourself in loneliness in your misfortune. By pushing everyone around, you will be left alone with your problems. And then it will be much more difficult for you to get out of depression. It is advisable, of course, to follow the tips described above, but you also need to know what not to do.

Never start a new relationship to spite your former passion. Your emotional experiences will be noticeable to a new partner, and this hurts his pride and feelings. In addition, it is unlikely that you will be able to act and feel consciously in this situation. This romance will be doomed to another parting. Survive one misfortune or two, and even hurt someone who loves you - you choose.
Do not accumulate in your soul plans for revenge in relation to the one who left you. Revenge is the weapon of the weak and stupid. Be above this low feeling. Besides, how can you "hook" the one to whom you are now indifferent? The result will be your additional suffering from the fact that you have simply exposed yourself to ridicule. In addition, seeing that you are not doing anything, the beloved will once again think about whether he made the right choice or not.
Put away all your joint photos and video albums. Do not tear, do not wash, and do not throw away, just hide and forget this place for a while. Don't torture yourself with memories of happy times when you were there. These thoughts simply will not allow you to be distracted from your experiences, and you will again leave reality into the world of illusions. Know that if you could feel happy in the past, then in the future you will find even greater happiness.
And the most important thing! Try to keep yourself with dignity even when fate brings you face to face. Don't beg for reciprocity. If he is not next to you, then so be it.
Children. These are the ones who are most hurt by the breakup of their parents. They are the first to lose their footing and understand that now it will never be the same as before. Let it be bad, let it be hard, but not like when the family was together. They are frightened by the future and now it is necessary to think not only about their mental balance, but also about preventing them from being depressed. If you are recently divorced and have children in your arms, never manipulate their feelings. A person who left a family will never return to it only for the sake of children. Instead, let them communicate. Let the "traitor" himself understand what he needs in this life. In addition, the children will understand that nothing has changed for them. No one died or left their lives, everything remained in its place, only now you live separately.

The most terrible delusion is “what if…”. Don't be fooled! You can’t turn back time, and no matter what you did in the past, if a person left, then he had been hatching this plan for a long time.

Remember Yesenin? I don’t regret, I don’t call, I don’t cry, everything will go away like smoke from white apple trees ...

This is how your suffering will pass and the memories of the feeling that is tearing your heart today will be erased.

When we part with a loved one, the pain seems unstoppable. And suffering is similar to suffering at the loss of a relative or the death of a loved one. The stages of coming to terms with a breakup are close to the stages of coming to terms with death. This is logical, because you really lose a person who was so close to you just recently.

Everything starts with denial.

You just can't understand and accept the fact that won't be around anymore. Your brain puts something like a "block" from severe suffering, so for a while you will think that it is still possible to return. It's just a fight and everything will work out. Of course, it's hard to admit to yourself that
You are alone. But it needs to be done to .

Finally, at some point you will realize that you are alone.
The beloved is no longer around. This is the beginning of the road to recovery. Because you stop lying at least to yourself and start . Of course, there are still several stages of adoption ahead, but a start has been made.

Next comes the stage of anger and anger at a loved one.
In all the troubles you've been through You start blaming him. But by no means yourself. Even in the little things you blame him, ceasing to seek compromises. At this stage, you can do a lot of stupid things, like trying to get revenge or making angry calls with accusations. Of course, you feel hurt, you feel hurt. The accumulated anger will eventually go away, but you should not do hasty actions that will not lead to anything good.

And finally, the most emotionally difficult stage comes - pain and worries. This stage is accompanied by like fear and sadness. It is very painful for you to be in mental loneliness, and fear of the future is added to everything; and together - these feelings form a feeling of hopelessness. Psychologists say that tears at this stage contribute to recovery. It’s worse when you want to cry, but there are no tears ... that is, they should appear, but you can’t cry. This is a very disturbing symptom, which is almost impossible to cope with alone. And it is necessary to get out of such a situation, because many diseases and other serious health complications can develop from severe depression: from mental disorder and stomach ulcers to heart attack, stroke ...

So, after accepting the fact that you are alone, what can you do to deal with sadness?

Don't think about it!
Stop constantly thinking about your ex, this can drive you into the abyss of depression, from which it is very difficult to get out. Many advise getting rid of everything that reminds you of . Better not visit and institutions where you can encounter it. It is best to even change your lifestyle. For example, take up a new hobby or a new sport. In addition, now there is a lot of free time to take care of yourself. Why not take advantage of this? At the same time, the head will be cleared of unhealthy thoughts about the past.

Don't self-deprecate!
It won't lead to anything good. Constantly feeling sorry for yourself and crying - there is no sense in this. It is better to spend this time on something useful. In addition, do not dare to blame yourself for all mortal sins. People break up, it happens. All that self-deprecation can bring is low self-esteem. And we don't want that?

Release emotions!
Sometimes a good savory plate toss against the wall can help. Or the ritual burning of the remains of of things. And you can also go out into the open field and shout enough. No wonder this method is used by psychologists in relation to patients. The main thing is to give free rein to feelings, and not hide them deep in yourself. Because of this, the period of "rehabilitation" may be delayed.

Do what you dreamed of!

Perhaps you have been thinking about doing yoga or working issues for a long time, but there was no time for this. Now there is an opportunity to cover as much as possible of what has long been in the back of memory and is waiting for your intervention. Write poetry, sign up for a course in modeling or cutting and sewing. Realize your .

Be with friends more often.
Stay social.
Don't lock yourself up.
with new people.

Communication with friends will be beneficial, and expand their horizons. You may even find …. As for your mutual friends, there's nothing you can do about it. You will either have to see them, or find a new circle of acquaintances. The best solution for you is to not see them for a while until you become emotionally stable. Sitting at home is also not conducive to "recovery", so ...

Visit new places!
!
Go to clubs, to exhibitions, to the theater, to concerts, to parties.
Walk more often.
Go in for sports and/or active recreation.

Just don't fall into a dull routine. Rest assured, there are so many wonderful people in your city that you didn't even suspect. Learn as much as possible new, engage in self-development, creativity. Try to make sure that when you get home, all you have the strength to do is crawl to …

Don't back down!

If you've made the decision to break up, don't give up. Try to remove from sight all possible accessories and attributes of a past life with the former / her: framed photographs, souvenirs and other items that involuntarily lead you to feelings of loss ... Over time, all the negative points in are erased, this is a feature of memory. Only the good times are remembered. Believe yourself, if you objectively decided to leave because of irreconcilable contradictions, you should not turn back. Everything that was bad between you has not gone away. You can't step into the same river twice.

All recommendations for those who are experiencing the syndrome of parting with a loved one are as follows:
1. Recognize your position - as a fait accompli
2. Control yourself and don't give up. Do not retire, stay in the community.
3. Dispel the mood of sadness, gradually transferring it to the area of ​​new positive . Do not give yourself time for sadness, comprehend new things at the expense of the freed up time.
4. Search for a new person, gaining .

For a successful search for a loved one, it is necessary to determine the place of his habitat. Be able to understand: Who are you looking for? And you will understand where to look ... . Write on a piece of paper in a column a list of qualities that your soulmate should have. Then collect all the qualities in several main groups, and ask yourself (you can Yandex or Google, you can puzzle friends or random people) “WHERE CAN PEOPLE OF SUCH A WAREHOUSE DIVE TO A MORE DATE?” ... And you will see that these people do not live on , not on the moon… they are all around you… It could be in any club of interest, from a dance studio, or, alternatively, from a colleague at work, if he / she works in a team with a pronounced female (male) and some other sign that suits you ... For example, you can pick up Your friend, a programmer, in order to drop him home by car, as if by chance appearing half an hour before the end of work in his office, where the editorial team, consisting of 50 girls (creative, educated) works nicely ... and with the right approach and coordination with your friend, some of these girls will also be able to take advantage of your throw them to the right place ... .

The best cure for love is love. Be open to new relationships, despite the pain you've experienced. After all, a completely new love can make you a completely different, happier person. Do not look for a copy of what was in the past, your new happiness will be different. People are social beings; and if you share your experiences with others - your trouble decreases, and when you share joy with others - happiness for you increases.

Acquaintance in a bright setting at themed parties:
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Each of us at least once heard painfully cruel words - "let's part." Yesterday, a dearly beloved, such a close person was happy with you, but today he decided to leave, destroying all plans and faith in a joint future. Despair, resentment, indescribable pain settle in the soul, gradually destroying it. Ahead of sleepless nights, inconsolable tears and the only question: "How to survive this moment, what to do next?".

It is possible to cope with the current situation, it is enough to make a little effort and finally come to terms with the fact that a loved one is no longer around. Almost all psychologists advise letting go of the departed, finding positive moments in parting. It's not as difficult as it might seem. Life is not over, it is just beginning, there are many more pleasant meetings and good impressions ahead of you.

Why is it so hard to get over a breakup?

When a loved one leaves you, you get a severe emotional trauma that is not easy to survive. Psychologists claim that the main reasons for such a reaction are:

1. True love - it is this feeling that inflicts the greatest wound, because a person completely surrenders to wonderful sensations, not even suspecting that the chosen one can do this. It will take a long time to come to terms with the loss, maybe even several years.
2. Strong attachment to each other - for many years together leave an imprint in the memory. It is extremely difficult to come to terms with the fact that everything is over and the moments experienced will never happen again.
3. Fear of being alone - an abandoned person is very worried about this, his self-esteem deteriorates sharply. After parting, unhappy thoughts appear: “Suddenly, I will never be happy again and will be alone forever.” Such thoughts interfere with surviving the current situation, oppress and overtake a strong melancholy.
4. The desire to suffer - a person forces himself to experience various situations, listens to sad music, constantly remembering the joyful, happy days spent together. These thoughts return us to the past, which will never happen again. Such a state prevents recovery, depresses, causes severe harm to the psyche.

Experts are convinced that the departed is much easier to endure parting. This is due to his own initiative and deliberation of the decision. That is, for him this is a serious step, which he himself decided to take, weighed all the pros and cons.

Anger, resentment and anger are caused by the realization of the fact that the once loved one did not want to be there and continue the relationship. It is this moment that is very touching, delivering maximum suffering. Usually a man is calm and restrained, controls himself, does not show his emotions. He had long gone through the pain of parting when he decided for himself that he needed to end the relationship.

A woman is more emotional, she is inclined to create a family where harmony, comfort and mutual understanding reign. She puts her husband and children in the first place, their well-being, home comfort, and not her own happiness. If a woman is deprived of this opportunity, misunderstanding and feelings of guilt arise - “What did I do wrong, why did this happen to me?”

Experiments are more important for a man, he is always ready for changes and new relationships, so he most often leaves the family. He ponders his decision for years and at one point is ready to cross out everything. Even if the other half tries to soften the blow, there will be no less suffering.

There are times when a couple mutually decided to leave. Both people noticed that feelings have cooled, they have exhausted themselves. This situation obliges them to disperse, because people are unhappy together, so it’s time for them to look for new ways separately. If after a while love does not return, then the relationship should not be continued.

Negative emotions last about six months. The spiritual wound gradually heals and only occasionally makes itself felt. Soon, the abandoned person himself wonders why he was so worried, what was special about the relationship? A completely different story when it comes to a couple who has lived for more than 10 years. They are connected by mutual friends, children, relatives.

Former spouses in the first year do not even think about starting a new relationship. It seems to them that there will be no more happiness, and after a couple of years they realize how insignificant the problem was. Life goes on, the birds sing, the grass turns green, there is no more reason to suffer. This turning point is the first step into a new life. Women begin to notice the opposite sex, sympathy appears, and the pain of separation is dulled. At the sight of the former, there is no longer a feeling of resentment, the wound has almost healed.

To make it easier to survive the breakup, experts recommend a sober assessment of the situation, accepting it as it is. It is enough to let go of the past, expel the negative and find positive moments in separation.

Breaking up protects you from false feelings. No one needs a relationship that has been exhausted for a long time. Indifference on the part of the chosen one will bring even more suffering. Now you know people better and understand life. It is necessary to treat the problem as another test that fate presented. If this happened, then you are on the right track and happiness will soon overtake you.

Separation is easier to survive if you follow these tips:

• Let go of the past - if a person decided so, he had reasons for that. Understand that the beloved must be allowed to go. Yes, it will be painful, difficult, insulting, but it is important to get any thoughts about the past out of your head, forbid yourself to even remember that time. It's not easy, but it's possible;
• Rid yourself of negativity - this feeling is bad for health in general. You need to forget about resentment, pain, hatred that burns from the inside, Throw away all thoughts about the person who trampled your soul and heart. Memories only harm, cause new tears and a wave of disappointment;
• Convince yourself that happiness is “just around the corner” - you can’t lie in bed and shed tears, you need to understand that a breakup is the end of a relationship, but also the beginning of something new. It is important to believe that you can still be loved. Enjoy simple things, believe in miracles;
• Communicate - do not avoid acquaintances, walk with friends, go to visit relatives. Communication and support of loved ones helps to cope with any grief. Tell them about your feelings, share your experiences, open your soul, and relief will surely come.

It all depends on you, draw conclusions and continue to live.

How to recover after a breakup if the relationship was long

A marriage that lasts for many years most often breaks up due to betrayal, cooled feelings or mutual misunderstanding. It is very difficult to survive such stress, because in addition to love, there is also attachment, a habit. Our subconscious refuses to accept the situation. On a psychological level, we cannot imagine life without a loved one.

But, this is exactly what needs to be done - to accept, to cast aside all illusions, to learn to live independently. It is not necessary to completely forget a person, it is enough to let him go and accept the gap as a given. To make it easier to accept a breakup, refer to proven methods:

1. Change your appearance. As psychologists say, a cardinal reincarnation helps to recover. You can change your wardrobe, hair color, haircut, throw away all the old things and buy new ones. Go to the salon, any girl feels calm and at ease there.
2. Get a pet. An affectionate cat or a playful dog cheer up, eliminating the feeling of loneliness. You will know that someone is waiting for you at home, and your pet is always glad to see you back.
3. Go in for sports. Regular exercise or a morning run returns strength, energy and good spirits. If you keep yourself in good shape, you will feel confident and attractive.
4. Read. Positive literature changes the view of the world, gives good emotions, inspires. Choose classics or psychology. With the help of the book, you can reconsider the situation, evaluate the behavior of people in various situations, forget about disorders, learn to build life in a new way.
5. Shopping. Shopping helps fight stress, having a positive effect on the psychological state. You will be distracted from what happened and will be able to survive a difficult time much easier. Even better, go to the store with your girlfriends.
6. Start the renovation. Changing the interior has a good effect on the emotional state. You have the opportunity to radically change your life and living conditions. Change everything from wallpaper to furniture so that nothing else reminds you of your loved one.
7. Diversify your leisure time. Do not withdraw into yourself, go to public places. Cultural development gives inspiration, brings you closer to the beautiful, spiritually develops. No need to stand in one place, improve.
8. Take a trip. New places allow you to experience unforgettable emotions. A long trip gives you the opportunity to reflect, to see that somewhere life is in full swing, it continues, no matter what. Analyze why a loved one left, what needed to be changed, and how to avoid mistakes in a future relationship.
9. Meet new people. Now more than ever, you need communication. Organize a party, have fun and relax. This method allows you to return the desire to live.

Coping with a breakup is not easy, sometimes you have to completely change your habits and worldview. It is important to understand that nothing can be returned, you will have to live differently, without that person. Stop looking for someone to blame and stop blaming yourself. Forget about it soon. Perhaps later you will become friends, but now it is useless. The main goal is to realize what happened and learn to live independently.

Forgive all offenses, accept the decision of the second half, get rid of anger and hatred. All you need to do is accept, because there is nothing to return. Put not commas, but bold points, then reconciliation with the situation will come faster.

Living together, or even just being in a long-term relationship with a partner, means that the other person becomes part of your smallest decisions. What will you eat for dinner tonight? How do you spend your free time? Who are you friends with? When a love relationship ends, you painfully realize that now you are most interested in another question: how to survive parting with a loved one?

Why does it hurt so much?

Parting with a loved one is an incredibly painful experience that is very difficult to go through without emotional and moral losses. Psychologically, parting is perceived not only as the breakup of a couple, but also as the collapse of all dreams and hopes. Very often, a break with a loved one is much more painful than even physical death, which is at least irreversible. Relationships that bring pain are unbearable, but parting with a tormentor is often perceived as a betrayal and hurts the self-esteem and pride of the person who was abandoned.

In modern society, parting with a boyfriend or divorcing a husband is often reproached for a woman. It is believed that a woman is more interested in long-term relationships, so it is she who must do everything possible (and impossible) to save the family. This is implied even if a man leaves the family of his own free will. What can we say about those cases when a man is abandoned by a woman! Therefore, after parting with a loved one, a woman is often tormented by a sense of guilt and a complex of her own inferiority.

Of course, these experiences are not true. The end of a relationship, although a sad event, is quite commonplace. So why continue a relationship that brings pain or does not allow at least one of the partners to develop?

What can be done?

Many couples around the world make the decision to end their relationship on a daily basis, and this is absolutely normal. Another question is that when parting, there are many strong negative emotions and the need to solve emerging problems. The advice of psychologists will tell you how to survive a divorce from your husband or parting with a guy most painlessly.

• Recognize the fact of the breakup. After the initial shock, you will be very tempted to begin to feel sorry for yourself too much or, conversely, to withdraw into yourself, hiding your feelings of resentment, anger and grief deep inside. So the first step in recovering from a breakup is to acknowledge the reality of the situation and be truly honest about how you feel;

• Understand that this too shall pass. When parting with a loved one, it often seems to us that life is over, and we can never love again. But, sooner or later, any pain will pass, and opportunities will open up for you to build a new relationship with a completely different person. Be prepared to accept these changes with gratitude!

• Get rid of everything that reminds you of your partner. There is nothing surprising in the fact that your common past will constantly remind you of a partner. Here is his favorite cup, and you bought this painting during your first vacation together... Find the strength in yourself and throw away or give away everything that causes painful and negative memories in you. Hide shared photos away, rearrange your furniture, change your wardrobe and hairstyle, make new friends and start doing what you've always wanted to do!

• Accept loneliness as a gift. Finally, you are on your own! This is a great time to figure out what you really want. Enjoy the opportunity to spend time on your own, start pampering yourself and giving yourself little surprises;

• Use pain as a motivation for your own development. Strong experiences allow a person to grow and become a more mature person. In addition, knowing how much it hurts, you may well find the strength in yourself to support other people who are going through a breakup. By your own example, you can show others that they, too, can survive after a breakup and become happy and free people;

• Give yourself time to recover. A broken arm heals in about six weeks. Be prepared for the fact that it will take you much longer to recover from a broken heart - but this is not forever. This process usually takes a year or more. But, if you continue to experience the pain of breaking up even after two years, this suggests that you have not been able to fully understand your feelings for your partner, and this has led you to an emotional dead end. In this case, seek professional help from a psychotherapist who will help you work through your negative experiences and get on the path of recovery;

• Let the feelings spill out. A breakup is usually accompanied by a lot of negative emotions such as pain, anger, guilt, and deep sadness. If you can't express your feelings, they will start destroying you from within. Therefore, be sure to find a person you trust and share your experiences with him. It is best if such a person turns out to be a professional psychologist. Until you destroy the wall of your negative emotions, it will block all of your positive feelings. Being able to fully cry out your grief is a very important part of the healing process;

• Let go of the past. Some people, even a few years after a breakup, continue to indulge themselves with the illusion that their ex-partner will come back. Close that door! Get over your pain and then let it go. This will help you find the strength to move on. Keeping memories of past relationships, you do not allow yourself to start a new stage in your life and find a new partner;

• Pause. Don't rush into a new romantic relationship right after a painful breakup. This attempt to avoid the pain of a breakup leads to you repeating your relationship mistakes over and over again. Rush relationships tend to end in disaster because you enter into them for the wrong reasons. Wait until you have fully recovered from the breakup before you start looking for a new partner. Take time out and be alone with yourself and your thoughts. After a while, you will be able to look at your failed relationship with completely different eyes, which will help you avoid mistakes with another person;

• Find a support group. No person can get through a breakup alone. Yes, this is not required! Seek support from people you can trust. They will give you understanding, acceptance and an unbiased attitude to current events. Since you were traumatized while in a bad relationship, it will be easiest for you to heal through a healthy relationship. Ask for help from your relatives and close friends!

• Don't give up. Even if you are left all alone with no one to support you, understand that the only real failure is to stop trying to get up every time you fall;

• Find a source of strength. Find something for yourself that will help you persevere and move forward. For some, this may be an appeal to God, for some, creativity, and someone will see the point in self-development.

Of course, parting with a loved one is one of the most difficult, emotional and stressful situations. No one goes through the end of a love relationship completely unscathed, but by using these tips, you can get through this moment of your life much easier.

Over time

Perhaps some time after the actual breakup, you will need to meet with a former partner to resolve urgent matters. If you were married, then you will have to do this anyway, at least in order to formalize your divorce. How to behave in this situation?

Try not to show your ex-husband your negative feelings, such as anger and pain, treat him like a business partner. Hostility in this situation has not yet benefited anyone (except for lawyers). If both of you act in a civilized manner, then the divorce process will be much less painful. This is especially important if you have children. Although your relationship with your husband is already in the past, he is still a parent. Keep a civilized relationship with your ex-spouse, if only for the sake of your children.

Through some time after parting, you will realize that all painful experiences are in the past. Now you have the opportunity to calmly enter a new phase of your life and accept the changes. Only a few years will pass, and you will be sincerely surprised that you could not imagine your life without this person and were going to always be with him. Believe you can do it! After going through a painful breakup, you will feel that you have become a strong person. You will find that you are quite capable of living independently and able to cope with any difficulties and problems.