How to distinguish love from. Love leaves long and painfully, but love is forgotten quickly. Why should these feelings be shared?

She is a dream, a miracle, a gift, she is able to lift a person from the earth and save. But often, because of the desire to find it, many rush to believe in it, easily mistaking completely different feelings for love, forgetting that love, passion or calculation have nothing to do with it, it is much more mysterious, stronger and more beautiful. And many are mistaken, because they do not know what true love is, they do not know how to love either themselves or others. And in order not to make serious mistakes and doom yourself to a miserable life, it is very important to know what true love is, and what is just its surrogate, which many take for it.

How to distinguish real love from fake

True love lies not in possession, control and the desire to change another person, but in caring, attention and respect for a partner, the desire to help, please, protect, protect from all troubles, make it easier for him or her to live, and every day was getting better and better.

The one who truly loves will not be indifferent, inattentive, fixated solely on his problems. He will always try to help, will do everything in his power, will not brush aside and will not laugh. Even if everyone is against it, he will stand side by side, shoulder to shoulder, even against the whole world.

With someone who truly loves, it is always warm, cozy, comfortable, safe and good. I want to return to him, not a single disturbing feeling or thought overshadows the relationship. Much better with it than without it. It inspires faith and optimism, gives joy and increases self-esteem. His gaze inspires and makes you feel the most beautiful.

Someone who truly loves is not afraid to ask for help, not afraid to talk about what worries, frightens and worries. He does not use it against, does not reproach, does not remind, but will understand and try to help or simply be there when needed. And even without words, it will be clear that there is no better person in the world, and no matter what happens, you will overcome any difficulties and obstacles together. And together achieve your goals and fulfill your dreams, no matter how old and incredible they are.

A loving man will not interfere with communication with friends, education, career. He does not compete with his beloved, but is glad that she is doing so well. And he does not share household duties and, moreover, does not require a woman to work, raise children and create home comfort on her own, while he is waiting for the appearance of a “male” job, which, if it does, then once every six months, in contrast to the daily duty to cooking for the whole family.

And even if misunderstandings and quarrels sometimes happen, we are all imperfect, but those who love each other are trying to figure it out, find a solution that suits both and draw conclusions for the future. And they don’t pour out a tub of dirt, trying to hurt them more and tell how much bad they have done.

Lovers do not need stormy showdowns, raging passions that can demolish everything in their path. They are pleased to be together, to meet every new day, they do not enjoy violent quarrels and passionate reconciliation. It is unpleasant for them to hurt their loved one, if something does not suit them, they will calmly say about it or not pay attention at all, but they will never hold a grudge or reproach in order to use them as manipulation.

They don't act like victims. People who have normal self-esteem, who know how to truly love, will never be in such a status, no matter how hard it is for them. Because they don’t want to let anyone influence their life and make them more important than themselves, what happens when a person feels like a victim and allows someone to spoil his life without doing anything and without drawing conclusions. Neither a man nor a woman will reproach a loved one in order to get something from him or force him to do something.

The one who loves will not allow to offend, hurt and cause severe pain intentionally or accidentally, because he is always ready to put himself in the place of another in order to understand how he feels. He knows that he does not like his beloved, that it upsets her, from which her mood deteriorates and tries not to do this.

At the same time, he does not forget about himself, that no one is allowed to humiliate, insult, break him. He himself does not try to turn a partner into a completely different person with whom he will be comfortable, and does not allow this in relation to himself. He knows how to love himself and others. And he knows that true love arises for a person as he really is, and not for the image that he himself invented and is trying to create, forgetting about the feelings, thoughts, rights and desires of another.

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Qualities of true love

True love is impossible without trust and confidence in the chosen one. There is no room for jealousy, suspicion, trying to follow every step or breath, phone call or word in messages. The one who trusts his beloved does not seek to bind him to himself, he has no desire to become an owner, to imprison another from constant control, demands and surveillance. On the contrary, love teaches us to believe and enjoy life, and not turn it into a hell woven from suspicions and claims.

False love is filled with neglect, rudeness, indifference, selfishness, the desire to receive without giving anything in return. Such concepts as sympathy, attention, care, affection, respect, respect for personal boundaries are alien to her.
He who does not love will not help if he does not see his own benefit in this. He does not care what happens to his partner, his task is to satisfy his needs and needs at the expense of another person. He won't stop at manipulation to get it.
When love is false, it is absolutely normal for him to humiliate, offend, insult, hit, destroy morally, destroy self-esteem with constant reproaches and criticism that the partner is doing everything wrong. Because in such an evil and terrible way, a man does everything so that a woman does not leave him anywhere. Since he subconsciously feels that something is wrong with him, that he clearly has low self-esteem, self-doubt, and no one will be with him for a long time. He does not know how to love, first of all, himself, and without this it is impossible to love anyone.

Therefore, he does everything to turn his partner into a broken person who will become so weak and unsure of himself that he will be afraid to leave and change his life, completely losing faith in himself. And all due to the fact that it is easier for such a man to dismiss what is inside and engage in the destruction of a woman whom he considers weaker, helpless and dependent on him. It is always harder and harder to fight with oneself, and even to realize and admit that he, so strong, has internal problems and low self-esteem is the most terrible humiliation and a sign of weakness.
Of course, the fair sex often does not know how to love, although they think that this is precisely what love is on their part. It seems to them that it looks and manifests itself precisely in complete dissolution in a partner, submission to him, doing everything that he just does not wish. Other women are convinced that love is expressed in receiving such an attitude from a man by any means, as if he were their mother, who must accept them as they are, no matter how badly they act and no matter how much pain they cause him.

This behavior of both sexes has nothing to do with true love - this is an addiction that neurotics suffer from. Not knowing how to love, they represent this feeling in this way.
Unfortunately, the problem with such people is that neurotics do not want to understand that they are neurotics, do not realize this, even when they feel that something is clearly wrong with them. They never had true love and never will, if they do not change, and instead of the habit of looking for flaws in others, they will not pay attention to themselves unloved. Even the habit of getting involved with bad guys who humiliate and put nothing at all speaks of the problems of the woman herself. Yes, and she can only fix herself, and not such guys, who are also tough neurotics with a bunch of complexes.

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Being able to recognize true love is just as important as meeting it. After all, this will save you from mistakes, disappointments, pain and suffering that everything that disguises itself as it brings, everything that seems to be it, promising happiness, but bringing only disappointment and pain. Only true love can give happiness and joy. And in order to know what she really is, it is important to love, respect and appreciate yourself, and then you definitely can’t go wrong when you meet her.

Today we will analyze another concept - love.

What is sympathy and what does it depend on?

Often, not only falling in love, but also sympathy for a person is mistaken for love. Although these feelings have some similar features and characteristics, they should not be confused, because. they differ significantly in depth and strength of manifestation.

Sympathy is sustainable positive attitude towards other people expressed emotionally. Usually it is manifested by friendliness, goodwill, admiration for someone or something. Sympathy is also the desire to communicate between people, to provide them with help, attention, etc. actions in relation to the one to whom it arises.
What can cause sympathy? She has several factors and circumstances:

similarity of views, values, life positions and moral ideals;
attractive appearance, demeanor, character;
the presence of any similarities, for example, the same birthday, the same age;
neighborhood in living, studying in the same school, class, etc.;
mutual sympathy, i.e. if someone likes us, then this person can arouse sympathy in us

Sympathy has one distinguishing feature - similarity in something two people who love each other. But sometimes it happens the other way around: a nice person seems to us something similar to us.

Sympathy can turn into passion, a strong attachment, when reinforced by some action, combines several factors that bring together, for example, external attractiveness, common interests and frequent communication. When disappointed in a person we like, there is a cooling of feelings for him, which can develop into antipathy.

What is love?

Love is a characteristic feeling that distinguishes several features, visible to an outside observer, but usually not noticeable to a lover blinded by this feeling:

she literally explodes collapses suddenly, "like snow on the head", accompanied by strong emotions, new impressions. Often the delusion passes just as suddenly, causing bewilderment and the question: “What was that?”;
love is often accompanied self-doubt, fear of literally everything, from weight gain to possible disappointment in you as an object of adoration because of your insufficiently high social status, etc .;
all life is concentrated on one person, all other interests recede, the object of love is idealized, is seen as a fairytale prince or princess, an example in everything. Because of this, conflicts with relatives and friends are not uncommon, who do not wear “pink glasses” and perfectly see the shortcomings of the so-called “ideal” and try to dispel your enthusiasm by pointing to them;
lovers are two people no relationship in common, the word "we" is not in their vocabulary either, because connects the two only passion, often purely sexual;
over time, relationships are overshadowed by frequent quarrels that end in a complete break.

They usually fall in love not with a person, but with some idealized image that has little in common with a specific person. Intoxication passes, replaced by disappointment and pain.

Love is human desire to end loneliness, warm up near someone, take care of this person, be close to him. All the hitherto unclaimed feelings are poured out on the subject of adoration. But the hero from your fantasies remains a stranger, to study which, often, there is no desire and opportunity, because. euphoria in a relationship does not allow at first to destroy the image created in the head with the traits of an ideal hero hung on it.

This feeling can become something more only with wide eyes and ears. And this requires a lot of effort, patience and desire.

Young people who easily start and end romantic relationships "prepare" themselves for a future divorce.

Are you ready for marriage?

How do you feel about money?
What shows that you manage your money wisely?
Do you have debts, loans? If yes, how do you pay for them?
How much will your wedding cost? Will you have to go into debt?
When you get married, will you both work? How will you balance your work schedules (to spend time together)?
How will you plan your expenses?

True love... What is it like?

Falling in love is distinguished from a deeper and more real feeling by such a simple example. If a woman has freckles or another visual defect, then a man in love does not notice them, and a man who loves sees them perfectly, but loves them as an integral part of his beloved.

True love is a miracle that has a whole a number of excellent qualities that distinguish it from ordinary love:

all the human virtues of a partner, his personality are important no less than physical attraction to him;
the positive traits of a loved one are extraordinarily valued, and his weaknesses are accepted without pretensions, simply as a fact;
love is not sudden, it does not come immediately, because. with all your heart you can only love a well-known person, this feeling is always tested by time;
you always want to be with your loved one, he never gets bored, separation from him is a big test;
love reveals the best qualities of a person who strives for self-improvement, struggling with his shortcomings and weaknesses;
true love is a strong connection of souls for many years, when neither time nor distance is terrible. In separation, loving hearts always find the possibility of communication;
in disagreements, loving hearts seek compromises, understanding a partner, yielding to each other. Discord in their relationship is a reason for reconciliation, strengthening real relationships;
real feelings are disinterested, love gives itself entirely and completely, not looking for any benefits and self-affirmation;
trials and obstacles are overcome together, so nothing can defeat this great feeling.

Love or infatuation?

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“… blind, and she likes it. She doesn't want to face the truth."
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“If I can’t be myself around the girl I like, that’s…”
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“You can even be annoyed by something in a person. But if this is ..., you still want to be with him and find compromises.
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"When ..., you see only what is common between you."
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"When..., don't try to hide who you really are."
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“... is nothing but selfishness, a way to get what you want. Sometimes you want to brag that you have a boyfriend.
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"... does not turn a blind eye to mistakes and shortcomings and is ready to put up with them."

Natalya Kaptsova

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At the heart of almost all songs, films, poems and books is true love. This feeling is sung by poets and portrayed by artists at all times. True, true love is often confused with a different feeling - with falling in love.

How to figure out if your feeling is real, and how to distinguish it from passions, love or affection?

What attracts and excites you the most in a person?

Love. As a rule, in this case, you are most concerned about the physical data of the partner - the reliefs of the figure, eyes, become, oblique fathom in the shoulders, courageous face, etc.

Love. You are concerned about the personality of your partner as a whole. Physical attraction and craving for a person is present, but only in conjunction with the personal characteristics and qualities of a partner. True love is the perception at all levels of all the qualities of a person. You are worried about his slight unshaven, strong back, the manner of drinking coffee in the morning and communicating with colleagues, paying in the store and carving wooden figurines on the balcony - everything, without exception.

What qualities attract you in a partner?

Love. In this state, the number of qualities in a partner that you admire is very limited. Perhaps they act on you in such a way that the earth leaves from under your feet, but these “vertigo factors” are limited to a charming smile, gait, or, for example, the aroma of perfume.

Love. True love is when you love in a person not only “every crack” , mole and bulge, but also all his qualities, sides and actions (admiring the good ones, and condescendingly bantering over the not so positive ones). Any minus of a loved one immediately turns into a plus or is simply perceived as a fact and accepted as it is.

The beginning of your romance

Love. The feeling flares up instantly - from a random glance, a touch of a hand, a short dialogue, and even a chance meeting, for example, in the company of friends. Similar to obsession. Once lit by a match from one smile of a partner, the feeling can also quickly go out from the wind of change, as soon as the character of a person is revealed.

Real love. It always comes gradually. It takes time to understand, understand and fully accept a person. It is impossible to love with all your heart a person about whom you know nothing. You can, of course, deceive yourself - "I love him, and whatever he is," but true love always requires the test of time.

Persistence of interest in a partner

Love. With this feeling, interest in a partner either burns with a hot flame, or subsides for days, or even weeks. There is only one reason - love is not distinguished by deep roots of feeling, it is superficial, and there is nothing underneath that would fuel a permanent interest in a person.

Real love. She never calms down. Not a day (and sometimes even an hour) goes by that you don't think about your partner. You constantly want to see him, to be near him, to hear his voice. And if separation is quite easily tolerated when falling in love, then for a truly loving person, even separation for a day is unbearable.

The influence of feelings on your personality

Love. Primitive passion for a partner (proven fact) disorganizes. It relaxes, reduces concentration, displaces rational thinking. Falling in love is known for spontaneity of actions and romantic veil, behind which, in most cases, only illusions are hidden.

Real love. Genuine deep feeling is a creative phenomenon. A loving person strives for self-improvement, succeeds in everything, “turns mountains” and “fords” the sea, showing his most positive aspects and fiercely fighting the negative ones.

Attitude towards people around

Love. "To hell with all of it! There is only him” — in short. Everything fades into the background, friends and parents “do not understand anything in this life”, outsiders interfere, things do not matter. You don't control the feeling, but the feeling controls you. All the values that you lived by have lost their meaning, you firmly believe that you can do everything, because you have a good reason, and apart from this feeling, nothing else matters. Bottom line: friends “break off” and disappear, relationships with parents deteriorate, problems at work begin. But this is later, but for now, love rules the ball.

Real love. Of course, he, beloved and dear, is the most important in this world. But you will not put him above his parents. You will not leave friends in the backyard of your life. You will find time for everyone, because true love has settled in your big heart, which is enough for the whole world in abundance. Your love gives you wings to develop relationships with the outside world, and lights the way to perspectives.

What do people think about your relationship?

Love. Most friends and acquaintances, as well as relatives (and especially parents) do not approve of your relationship. Blinded by feeling, a woman does not want to see shortcomings and even obvious vices, idealizing the object of her passion. From the side, however, it is always more visible. And if every second person asks to think again, or at least take your time, it makes sense to stop for a moment and cool your head - perhaps insight will come to you earlier than disappointment.

Real love. If the feeling is really deep, and decisions are made seriously, balanced and from a sober position, the people around you do not resist and do not try to impose their opinion. Either they just approve of your choice, or they are clearly aware that your love will only grow stronger, against all odds. Read also:

Breakups and feelings

Love. 1-3 months is enough for a woman who is carried away to completely “cure” from falling in love. Physiological longing for a partner lasts a maximum of 3 months, after which thoughts come about parting, about the meaninglessness of relationships and that that blue-eyed handsome man in the next office is even nothing.

Real love. This feeling is not a hindrance neither distance nor time. Those who truly love each other do not break the connecting threads even after thousands of kilometers and years later. They will write SMS to each other, communicate via Skype, scribble long letters in the old fashioned way and get bored, bored, bored ... Waiting for the doorbell to ring. Because true love is when a partner becomes a part of you, and two souls are intertwined so tightly that they can no longer exist separately.

Feelings and quarrels

Love. The more time passes from the day we met, the stronger and more serious the quarrels become. Why? And because under love - only emptiness. There is no spiritual connection, no common themes, no base on which strong alliances are created. As a result, after a while it turns out that you don’t even have anything to talk about, and scandals will somehow “diversify” the relationship. Read also:

Real love. A deep sense of disagreement is not a hindrance. On the contrary, they strengthen relationships that are initially built on mutual understanding and compromise. Love means giving in to each other. And a disagreement in a strong alliance will never affect the relationship itself. So, for example, a husband and wife who have lived side by side for many years can quarrel to smithereens while wallpapering and immediately sit down to drink tea, laughing and joking with each other. Whereas a “in love” girl can “send to hell” her partner just because he bought a bed of the wrong system.

Your perspective on your relationship

Love. You two are separate individuals. “I-he”, “mine-his”, etc. In your relationship, except for passion, there is practically nothing in common. The word “we” is not about you, it is not even in the vocabulary of your relationship. You can easily go on vacation without him, have dinner without waiting for him to leave work, or fly to a girlfriend in Italy when he needs your moral support.

True love begins with the word "we". Because you are two halves of one whole, and even each separately you perceive each other only as “we”, “us”, “us”. You are not burdened by vacations spent together and even joint work, you have dinner, crawling under one blanket in front of the TV, and stirring sugar in a cup for him while he cuts sausage for your sandwich.

Selfishness and feelings

Love. Behind the interest in the partner and the passion for them is a selfish interest. For example, because being next to this broad-shouldered, tanned hero with a plump credit card and a shiny expensive car is prestigious (such a new fashion). Or because “it’s better to have one than none.” Or in order for more respectable gentlemen to salivate at her, now so inaccessible. Etc. Regardless of the option, you always remain a “girl who is on her own”, and you perceive any intervention of a partner in your personal space as a personal insult.
True love does not know self-interest. You simply give yourself entirely to your chosen one, throwing open the doors to your heart, house and refrigerator. You do not assert yourself at his expense, but simply love for what he is.

Between earth and sky

Love is an earthly feeling suggesting, for the most part, earthly pleasures, thoughts and deeds.
True love always hovers above the "earth". There are no barriers for her, any trials are divided in half, and dawns for two and spiritual intimacy are more precious than all earthly blessings.

In this case, we are talking about love as infatuation and temporary passion . Which, of course, has nothing to do with falling in love, which becomes the beginning of true love.

What do you think about love and falling in love - how to distinguish one from the other? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

What is the difference between love and infatuation? This question is asked by many people. Probably, everyone wants to meet their soul mate, enter into a marriage, which, as you know, is made in heaven, live with a loved one all their lives. But this is not always the case. And a person wonders when he made a mistake, what happened, on what part of the path he turned in the wrong direction. A cocktail of endorphins, hormones of happiness, accompanies both erotic sympathy and true deep feeling.

How to distinguish love from infatuation

So, what is the difference between love and falling in love:

Love is shallow, but love is deep. A lover is a person who cannot imagine his life without a chosen one.
A person in love thinks more about his pleasure from a loved one, and may not even notice what the other feels and craves.
Falling in love can pass as soon as passions subside, and love only grows stronger and blooms over the years.
Love melts like snow in the sun as soon as a person shows his other side. As soon as the idealization of the subject subsided (for example, a person committed an unseemly act, fell ill, having lost his attractiveness), the desire to take care of him, to be near him does not manifest itself.
Love can be destructive, but love creates, creates. For example, a person in love can fight with the friends of the chosen one, his relatives. And the true lover will think: will my dear person feel good from this senseless struggle.
As you know, love is long-suffering, it manifests itself in mercy and care, in understanding and sensitivity. And love can evaporate, melt, leaving behind only a slight aftertaste.

So, what is the difference between love and falling in love: depth, time and degree of selfishness of a loving or in love person. It is known that love is a high art, which not everyone is capable of. For true love, one must reject such qualities as infantilism, selfishness, prudence, excessive ambition, striving for profit. But respect and self-respect for a partner, for his personality, readiness to give him freedom and a reliable shoulder when he needs it, attention to his interests - all this contributes to the transformation of falling in love into love. After all, the first is a natural initial phase of love. However, a deep feeling may not come if the person has certain personality traits - or - if the other does not reciprocate.

Some argue that love can only be mutual. In a way, they are right. True love is also the ability to let go of a person in time, not to be imposed on someone who does not need it. Love is a gift, but when a person pursues another, extorts signs of attention from him, demands love, the latter becomes not a gift, but a curse. Of course, this is not a real feeling, sung by poets. This is just a selfish desire for power, the possession of a rather infantile person who is used to the fact that the world must meet his expectations and hopes. Make no mistake in your choice!

How to distinguish love from falling in love?

Think about what qualities and traits are characteristic of your loved one. After all, if the only thing you can say about him is that the chosen one has a beautiful appearance and a bright smile, you can hardly see his soul, the true essence.
Think about what you are ready for for the sake of your beloved or beloved. When you only want to consume: Her or his beauty, charm, enjoy his or her company - this is far from love. True deep feeling begins when you are ready to give more than you receive. This is the answer to the question of how to turn love into love.
Are you ready to be with this person in sorrow and joy, to overcome life's difficulties with him or her, are you ready to take care of his family, live together and support the chosen one, and not complain about boredom and that the relationship has lost its former charm.

Alas, love passes. And the bright fireworks of emotions ever ends. Routine, silence and calmness can enter your life. In a scientific way: the hormone oxytocin, which is responsible for quiet tenderness, comes into force. A man who was only in love, go on an adventure in order to relive a cocktail of emotions and an explosion of feelings. But the true lover will stay by his side, grow and develop his love.

So, love and love: the difference. Psychology once claimed that love lives for three years. As a rule, just such a period was necessary in order to enter into an intimate relationship and be together while the woman was pregnant, and then breastfeeding. Soon there were opponents of this theory. But, be that as it may, it is clear that it was about falling in love, and not about love. The latter can live a lifetime.

How is falling in love different from love? Psychology claims that only a personally mature person is capable of a long-term deep feeling for his partner. Others look for easy ways, adventures and passion, and when it passes, they go in search of a new source of happiness. After all, falling in love is a kind of drug. At the same time, a person does not think about what hurts another, and also about the fact that falling in love is a superficial feeling, and mature love can give true pleasure.

What is love?

Alas, if a person has lived with a partner all his life without cheating, this does not mean at all that he truly loved. After all, there are many reasons why people get married, give birth to children in a couple. Unfortunately, love is often not on the list of reasons at all. Sometimes laziness, fear of change and loss of material well-being, and not real deep love for a partner, interferes with parting. Living together and torturing each other means being very far from love.

It is important not only to understand how to distinguish love from falling in love. But also to know how to develop the ability to love in yourself, how to make falling in love grow into true love?

They say love is responsibility. And it is true. Take responsibility for your relationship to develop, become better, take part of the responsibility for the well-being of your couple, Her happiness. The second part is on your partner
Try to understand what kind of person your chosen one is, in addition to the fact that he is your partner. What does he love, what does he live for, what are his talents, his individual personality traits
Learn to negotiate. In a relationship, it is important to pay attention to the interests of a loved one, but also not to forget about your own, sensitively and carefully build the boundaries of your relationship. How does falling in love grow into love? Gradually, in the process of living with a loved one, interacting with him.
It is also said that to love means to desire development. Also, help him!
Psychologists say: you don’t need to look for a soul mate, you can only become halves. In the process of creating relationships, living together, people tune in to each other, change, as if they become two halves of a single whole. Of course - only if there is mutual desire, personal maturity.
Develop empathy, learn to feel your loved one, understand what his needs and needs are

How do you know that he is the one?

But everything usually starts small. How to recognize love?

Another person suddenly triggers emotions in you - not always positive ones. It can be surprise, interest, and even negative feelings. But it suddenly becomes meaningful to you. Or not a friend - but after a while, when a long-known person causes you unusual excitement, interest
To fall in love is to feel euphoria, to become prettier, to mobilize all your strength! The body responds to the other person. “We experience anxiety, and our body releases adrenaline, which speeds up the heartbeat and increases sweating,” says sexologist Ghislaine Paris. According to him, dopamine, serotonin and endorphins manifest themselves in the human body - hormones whose action is directly opposite to that of adrenaline. Blood vessels dilate, and a blush blooms on our cheeks. Not with heat writers were so fond of describing how the face of a lover is filled with embarrassment.
Love is a confusion of feelings. A person feels awkward with the object of his love. He wants to say something bright, extraordinary, to amaze the imagination, to impress. But, alas, the palms sweat, the tongue gets tangled, it becomes extremely difficult to say something smart, even the most banal. Therefore, it is so important, when going on a date with a person, not to judge him too harshly, to give him the opportunity to better appear himself. After all, the awkwardness that is inevitable in the presence of feelings often spoils the first impression.
What is love? Desire to be better! A person pretends, tries to appear more beautiful, smarter, kinder, more successful than he is. “The fear that our feelings will be found out, the fear of being rejected,” says sexologist Alain Eril. “Our self-love is at stake.” Where perishing here until natural behavior!
Falling in love is a definition of feelings that make us idealize another. People tend to embellish the subject of their love, to idealize it. And how many problems it causes later! The woman did not look that her beloved prefers to drink in company - and in her life together, his drinking with friends did not give her peace. The man did not pay attention to the fact that his beloved consults with her mother for any reason - and in marriage she cannot build the right relationship with her mother-in-law, who unceremoniously interferes in a young family. It is important to see the alleged shortcomings (from your point of view) of the chosen one, but not to look for the ideal, because it does not exist! The main thing is to be human, to recognize the free will of another, but to look at things objectively. And do not immediately enter into a relationship with the person whose personal views, cardinal values are opposite to yours.
Love - what is it? Not always only positive emotions! Sometimes a lover is inclined to resist his feeling, to deny it, to be afraid to plunge headlong into the cycle of emotions. After all, often behind a man and a woman is a past marriage or an exhausting relationship that left wounds in the heart. One should not be afraid to open up to love, because one cannot build trust on the foundation of fear, and without it, harmonious relationships are impossible.

Love - what is it? And how to distinguish love from falling in love? A good question to ask yourself at the right time, not too late and not too early. It is necessary to give time for falling in love to grow into deep affection, if possible. How to distinguish love from falling in love with a man?

A man who loves his chosen one is ready to do things for her. He does not seek only sexual satisfaction, pleasant emotions. He is interested in the life of his beloved, he will never put her before a choice: he or a child from his first marriage, for example. He strives to ensure that the beloved is realized in life, achieves what he wants. The difference between love and falling in love is that the lover thinks more about the beloved than about himself.

Test yourself!

How to understand whether falling in love or Love overtook you? Answer yourself the following questions

Whose feelings are more important to you, yours or your loved one's?
Will you give up a loved one for the sake of the chosen one?
Are you ready to give up having children for the sake of your loved one?

“Yes” answers do not mean love at all. It was a trick test. The fact is that if for the sake of your beloved you are ready to give up what is the deepest essence of your personality, this may not mean love, but dependence and weakness. Love is respect for a partner and self-respect. If you completely dissolve st in the chosen one, then very soon you will cease to be interesting to your beloved, you will turn into a shadow. You should sacrifice yourself, if a dear person really needs it, you should be in a place in grief, in illness, but regularly give in to your beloved, giving up your personality, betraying yourself - this is not an option!

So what's the difference between being in love and being in love? The lover thinks more and more to himself, and the lover thinks about his only, dearly loved person. How do you know if it's love? Wait, give yourself time! Feelings will sprout and flourish, and light sympathy will melt.

Many psychologists, scientists, writers have tried to understand how to define love. It's simple: excitement in the presence of a person, his significance in your eyes, the dependence of your self-esteem on the opinion of a person - most likely indicate a nascent feeling. What is falling in love: definition by psychologists: A strong positively colored feeling that is directed at another person. Lovers are two souls who strive to unite, to be together against all odds, to build their lives. What does it mean to be in love with a person? It means to wish him happiness. We wish you love and harmony.

Quite often we come across such concepts as love. Many do not see much difference in them, and often these feelings are confused, sometimes causing pain. Love and infatuation are two similar and at the same time different concepts. Further we will consider both these concepts in detail, in order to have at least some idea about them in the future.

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What are the differences?

is a psycho-emotional attraction to a person. This state lasts for a short time and, unlike love, is not a comprehensive feeling, but it is also not limited to the exclusively physiological sphere.

Falling in love is not an ordinary combination of emotions and sex. And frankly, it is not so easy to distinguish the feelings that accompany love from the feelings that accompany falling in love.

Often, falling in love is accompanied by euphoria, which can also be called an altered state of consciousness, something similar to intoxication or hypnosis. If we take into account the fact that feelings are caused by hormones, then this condition can be called hormonal intoxication.

Everyone knows such symptoms of falling in love as: general enthusiasm, sharp emotional swings, the object of love seems ideal, the relationship is going well, smoothly, on the rise. If you describe the state in one word, it seems that you are in a fairy tale.

It can still be called a fairy tale, because it has little to do with real people. This happens because a person often falls in love with an image invented by him, where there is practically no real person. Well, or this person acts only as an excuse.

Falling in love with a person, we ourselves, without particularly realizing it, hang on him all the ideas about the ideal partner, and for some time we believe that we really found him. It becomes an ideal partner because we want it, we make it so in our subconscious, exalt it to heaven, etc., but in fact, it cannot have all the qualities that we attributed to it.

For some time, while we are in a state of euphoria, this may not be noticed. But as time goes by, it will show up more and more often. And all because each person is individual and behaves the way he wants, and not the way we would like. Learning more about a person, we are not always ready to perceive him as he is, we are not always ready to give up our invented ideal, and, therefore, falling in love passes, it can also pass because our body cannot stay in a state of euphoria.

Both falling in love and love are characterized by such a feature as a strong attachment to a person of a different sex, which complicates the search for differences between them, since most of their manifestations are similar. Too passionate, blind love can contain the properties that belong to true love. Consequently, the difference between them is generally found more in intensity than in features. That is why it is necessary to carefully examine each manifestation of these feelings.

Love and falling in love has three similar manifestations, such as intimacy, passion and extraordinary emotions. In fact, a person can experience passion for another person without even loving him. A person can be overcome by passion and a rather strong sexual attraction to another person whom he practically does not know. Caressing and kissing increase addiction to erotic experiences, to the point where sex becomes the basis of the connection. These experiences do not necessarily indicate true love. Sexual attraction, in turn, can accompany both true love and falling in love.

Phases of love

To answer the question of what feelings we experience when we really love, we should consider all the phases of love. Basically, a person experiences five phases of love, in order to understand how the ability to love actually develops, it is necessary to understand all these five phases.

First phase of love is the infant phase. The baby still does not know how to love, he lives in himself. At this stage, he is only concerned with getting what he wants, he is not worried about how much trouble he causes to others. The baby's parents do not get enough sleep all the time, but this does not bother him either. The child loves only himself.

Second phase- phase of parental love. The first love of a child, not counting the love for himself, is directed precisely to his parents, this is especially manifested in relation to his mother. This is quite normal, since it is she who spends the most time with him. Therefore, she means to him, much more than anyone else. In this period, the child loves not only himself, but has already learned to love his parents.

Third phase- phase of friendly love. After a few years, the child is already accustomed outside the walls of the house and, therefore, he has an interest in his peers, especially if they are of the same sex. Further, the child relies not only on the opinion of his parents, but also on the opinion of his friends. He is already learning to communicate with people like him, lives in society and is gradually leaving parental care, they are already relegated to the background. Now he already loves not only himself and his parents, but also his friends.

Fourth phase- phase of youthful love. In youth, interest is already manifested in the opposite sex. Boys understand that girls deserve more attention, and, therefore, vice versa. But at the same time, this love is considered from the position of a baby, that is, what it will give, instead of what I can give.

It is the youthful phase of love that is the time of mistakes and trials. Girls dream of a handsome prince or some movie star, as they grow older they become more realistic, and they look at the opposite sex in a different way. But in their youth they still consider their partner from the consumer side, what he can give them.

In this phase, love is born from the thought of what we will extract for ourselves from these relationships, but from the position that we ourselves will bring to this relationship.

Fifth phase- phase of mature love. At this stage, a person gives less and less preference for physical beauty, psychological and emotional factors become more important. In this phase, a person thinks more about what he can contribute to the relationship, and not about what he will receive from them. All thoughts in this case move from your person to your partner. In the case when a person really loves his partner, disinterestedly, then, of course, he will try to do everything in his power for his partner. The same situation occurs with lovers, if they love, then in this case the interests of their partner will be above their own. Therefore, the more you give, the more you will receive in return.

What to do?

We all understand perfectly well that it takes time to go through all these phases. Therefore, many marry at the stage of infant love. Many of us never reach maturity at all of these stages. And some are too deeply entrenched in their emotional childhood that adult relationships are almost inaccessible to them.

In order to determine what phase your relationship is in, you need to carefully analyze the current relationship. It is difficult enough to distinguish the youthful phase from the mature phase of true love.

If you were in love, and you began to notice how the veil comes off your eyes, and reality appears in all its guise, and your beloved turned out to be completely different from what it seemed before, but in fact, you didn’t know him real . Your relationship was built on a fantasy of an ideal.

In this case, there are only two ways out: having decided that it was all a mistake, and, or go the second way - stay with this person and get to know him better, accept him for who he is. Love can be learned, it is quite difficult, but it affects both sides. This path is very difficult, painful, but perhaps on this path there will be little more happiness than constantly experiencing new feelings, pain and disappointments.

In my opinion, the person you love, you feel with all your heart. I want to live not only for my own pleasure, but also for him. Love, in principle, like falling in love, transforms a person, makes him better, but with love this passes, but with true love it remains. Why true love is realized mainly in the mature phase, simply because people by this time have learned to respect each other, respect relationships, respect deeds, appreciate what they do for you, give something in return.

Long and full-fledged relationships, love will not work if you use your partner to your advantage, you can’t take it all the time, learn to put yourself in the place of others, to experience the feelings that you make your soul mate feel.
True love comes to someone earlier to someone later, probably, it depends on when we meet our soul mate. Falling in love, disappointments are necessary for us so that we learn to love, so that we do not repeat our mistakes.