How to forget a person if he is married. How to survive the pain of parting with a married lover and forget him: advice from a psychologist

Relations with a married man rarely give positive results: you still remain in the role of a mistress, but even if he leaves the family, there is an eternal fear that one day this will happen to you. It is better to stop such love in the bud: even when you allow a small affair, try not to count on something serious, because life goes on and you need to move on.

Not knowing how to stop loving a married man, seek the help of psychologists. Their advice will help out in a difficult situation, help you understand yourself and find the strength to live on. Source: Flickr (Halina_Reshetova)

Disadvantages of relationships with a married man, why it is better to break them

In search of a solution to the problem of how to forget a married man and survive the pain of parting, you should understand how bad such a relationship is:

Building your happiness by breaking up families is immoral, because the other woman also deserves love.
A windy man will never become a reliable family man.
Relationships have practically no prospects, since you are destined for the role of only a mistress.
Once you make a mistake or stop taking care of yourself, you are likely to be abandoned by your boyfriend.
You have to hide your feelings, spend the holidays apart.
You adapt to your partner, forgetting about yourself, forced to be content with little.

This is interesting! Statistics is an inexorable thing, and according to its data, about 5% of men go to mistresses, while the rest are quite satisfied with a double life.

Psychologist's advice: how to forget and fall out of love with a married man

Not knowing how to stop loving a married man, seek the help of psychologists. Their advice will help out in a difficult situation, help you understand yourself and find the strength to live on.

If you love him, how to survive the pain of parting

Analyze the situation. If a companion has not left his wife during your relationship, then he loves her. It is unlikely that such a relationship will be destroyed, no matter how sad it is for you.
Make sure the man is happy. This method is quite cruel, but effective. Just come incognito to his house, see that he feels great with his wife - it will not be possible to break this happiness.
Find a new hobby for yourself - whether it be fitness, work, a fan or hanging out with girlfriends. Immerse yourself in something that gives you pleasure, and you will see that over time it will become easier.
Think about the shortcomings of a boyfriend, about how you had to hide from your wife, how sad it is to sit alone on March 8, watching how he leaves for her. Do you need these feelings? Maybe you should find a more worthy company for yourself?
Change yourself and change the environment. Take time off on vacation or on a business trip, get a new hairstyle, make repairs in the apartment, get rid of joint pictures. Make sure that nothing reminds of past relationships.

If she is married

It is easier for a married lady to survive the bitterness of separation: there is someone nearby who will comfort in difficult times and show love. Think about why you got married, what virtues your spouse has, how unfairly you treat him. Try to find something new in a relationship, ignite an extinguished spark. Relax together, spend time, try to look beautiful just for your husband.

This is interesting! If sincere feelings connect you with your husband, think about the child: the appearance of a new family member will save you from difficult thoughts.

It is better to turn your eyes to other hobbies, spend time with benefit, and if all else fails, visit a psychologist. Source: Flickr (Matt_Haddaway)

If he left you and doesn't love you

Spending your precious time on a busy gentleman is already a mistake, and if he also doesn’t love you, it’s doubly wrong. Most likely, you were just a temporary option for him. If a guy is cheating on his wife right and left, think about why you need such a windy and irresponsible person. The main thing is not to become discouraged, or at least pretend that you feel comfortable. Over time, everything will return to normal, and there will be no trace of past feelings.

Tips on how to leave a married man and start a new life

Often something separates you from a decisive step. You do not know how to leave a married man, you are worried that you will be left alone. In this case, psychologists also stocked up on advice:

Talk to a friend who did not like your man, let her talk about his negative qualities, if you did not notice them before.
See for yourself that the chosen one is far from ideal - his cowardice and duplicity alone are worth parting with.
Take up your hobby or pay attention to other men, arrange a fun vacation for yourself, visit shops without answering the boyfriend's phone calls.
Just cut off all contact with him - change contacts, address of residence and work, under no circumstances allow yourself to show weakness and meet him again.
Make a scandal, demanding a choice: if a man does not love you, he will disappear on his own.
Pretend to be sick - at first the satellite will care, but soon it will simply dissolve, ceasing to answer calls. This means that there was no love for you at all.

Now you know how to get rid of love for a married man - a relationship that in most cases is initially doomed to failure. This is not so difficult to do, because your boyfriend is far from ideal, and with him only disappointment and pain await you. It is better to turn your eyes to other hobbies, spend time with benefit, and if all else fails, visit a psychologist.

Why should you break up with a married man?

For what reason a woman gets stuck in relationships that do not make her happy, because an affair with a married man cannot be called happy in any way. Jealousy, resentment, a feeling that corrodes the soul that you are on the sidelines ... Why do women continue these relationships for years?

This situation is not as easy to resolve as it seems at first glance. A married man rarely decides to divorce. There are, of course, exceptions to the rule. It happens that a married man loses his head so much that he leaves his wife and starts a new life. But, sadly, these cases are as rare as the Orlov diamond in nature.

Often in such cases, only the wife herself can help a man “part with his unloved wife”, who, having learned about her mistress, collects the things of an unfaithful husband in a bag and opens the door with the words: “All the best to you!”. Then the man will leave, and since there is often nowhere to go, he will go just in time for his mistress. However, this is not always the logical conclusion of the novel with a happy ending. If after some time the wife decides to forgive the unfaithful, it is very likely that he will kiss you on the nose and run back.

More often than not, a man who has been married for some time views his relationship with another woman as a pleasant change. The mistress, as a rule, wants to create a normal family, and this opposition of interests always leads to a conflict. Then comes a clear understanding that you need to leave.

How to break up with a married lover?

How to part with an unfree lover if he does not let go?

Often an unfree man does not leave his wife and does not want to let go of his secret lover. From the outside, this behavior is even amusing. Something else is said about female logic!

In such a situation, the mistress is in a kind of "suspended" state and often does not know what to do next. The beloved swears his love - and continues to live with his wife. He calls his only one - and after a phone call he hides his guilty eyes and says that he needs to go home .... Why?

The fact is that the man is quite satisfied with this situation. He is fueled by the energy of two women who love him; in addition, the suffering of his wife and mistress and their jealousy elevate the insidious traitor in their own eyes, help him to assert himself, and he, as a rule, does not want to part with any of the women.

If your lover won't let you go, don't wait until your self-esteem drops completely. Let him know that you are not his property, which he can dispose of as he sees fit.

A man will begin to manipulate, come, tell how bad he is without you and how he loves you. Give in - everything will start over, so it's better to put an end to it yourself.

How to break up with a man if you love him?

You can’t order your heart, no one argues with this, quite naturally the question comes to mind - why should I part with the one I love? So what if he has a wife? A mistress for a married man is a woman-holiday, and let him bring all the problems to his wife, with whom, of course, he lives out of habit, because of children or out of pity.

Are you ready to be on the sidelines? So you are just insecure. A self-sufficient, independent and self-confident woman will never stoop to an affair with a married man. She will not rejoice in what she got.

This implies the conclusion that in order to end a relationship with a married man, a mistress needs to increase her self-esteem, learn to value herself. To do this, it is recommended to visit a good psychologist.

How to forget a lover?

What can you advise a girl who decided to “close this book” and forget her lover? Put an end to the relationship yourself. Calmly, without emotions and tantrums, tell me why you made the decision to part. No need to text him, call him on the phone .... Such words must be spoken, looking into the eyes. You have a lot to do with this man. He deserves to hear from you that your relationship is over. You deserve to part with your loved one without leaving smoking ruins in place of your (and his) soul. Try it! You will definitely succeed.

I want to cry? Do not deny yourself anything! Men will never understand how much easier it is to live after all your pain comes out with tears.

Get yourself out of depression. Meet friends, meet new people, go to the theatre, cinema, gym…. The world doesn't revolve around the man you broke up with.

No need to "knock out a wedge with a wedge" and immediately start a new novel. This will only bring you disappointment. Relationships should start when you are ready for it. Otherwise, it will hurt both you and this innocent guy who fell under your hot hand. Don't discount yourself or your feelings. It leaves a very nasty aftertaste.

The advice of psychologists, of course, is very necessary for finding inner balance and finding a way out that suits you. But, in essence, all these tips come down to one thing - get rid of psychological addiction! Learn to say “no” to him and to yourself.

The best solution to the problem is to contact a good psychologist who will help you endure the breakup and raise your self-esteem.

Divide a sheet of paper into two parts: write down the negative sides of the gap on one side, and the positive sides on the other. Recording all the pros and cons of such a relationship will help make a decision about parting.
Having ended the relationship, it is imperative to get rid of all the contacts of the former man: phone numbers, contacts in social networks, photos. It must be completely expunged from your life.
If possible, go somewhere for a while. A change of scenery and new experiences will help you quickly forget your lover.

In order to completely and irrevocably forget a lover in a very short time, you need to do some work, which consists of several parts: the first part is psychological, it is the most unpleasant and uninteresting, but also the most necessary, all the rest are somehow connected with pleasures and entertainment. So, how to forget a lover if you are strongly drawn to him once and for all?

Psychological work

It takes the most time, but many of the points that you work through at this stage will help you not only in the further stages of forgetting the former, but also in your life in general.

It is possible that this is not your first relationship that ended in a breakup, remember what helped you forget your lover last time.

1) We remember which actor your lover personally reminds you of and do not watch films with his participation;

2) Then we need to lower its value for you. We write out in one column all its advantages, in another - disadvantages. And you need to write, both physical, cosmetic, and personal.
Cut the leaf into 2 parts. All his virtues are called into question.

We keep a list of shortcomings, because perhaps, especially at first, you will want to return to it again and again.

3) Also think about whether your lover liked all your clothes, maybe he forbade you to walk in some way, criticized something. What did he forbid you to do with his appearance? Can pierce ears, make tattoos, cut hair. Maybe he didn’t forbid anything, but you yourself had long dreamed of dyeing your hair blonde, but were afraid that he would stop loving you.

4) We remember all the places where your dates took place, and we don’t go there, as they say: “Out of sight, out of heart, out.” Moreover, most likely he adheres to traditions and may appear there with his next passion.

5) If he gave you gifts, we divide them into categories. Anything that can be sold, we sell. He still won't find out, and you'll earn some extra money to heal a broken heart. In no case do we give gifts to our relatives and friends - then they will catch your eye.

If he gave you some inexpensive trifles, postcards, then it’s better to tear it all up and throw it away. You are generally shown to tear something now. Many girls pour out their rage and resentment by tearing soft toys. Of course, they can be taken to an orphanage. But allow yourself to break at least a few, you deserve it.

6) You need, being alone with yourself, to tell yourself aloud the story of your love and separation from beginning to end, with all your experiences, emotions and vision of the situation. According to the rules, this must be done 100 times in a row. But already by 30 times, you will just be too lazy to say something. This is much better than torturing your girlfriends with your stories and experiences. Moreover, if a married lady had a lover, it is also safer.

7) Logically rethink the reasons for the breakup. Of course, he can tell you that he just fell out of love with you, but this is not a reason for parting. Think about what really could be the reason for breaking up, maybe he met someone else with whom he wants to have children, maybe he is tired of spending money on you. Only you know the person, and after thinking logically, you can understand what the real reason for the breakup is.

8) Selfish motives. Think about how you could be especially useful to your lover - perhaps you helped him with his work, you had a separate apartment for meetings, you often helped him with money. Perhaps he is simply a novice gigolo, and now either your financial situation has changed, or he has found someone wealthier.

9) Remember and write a list of what compliments your lover gave you. You are still beautiful, smart, sexy. Nothing changed. Hang this list on your mirror. If you have some time, write down a list of all the compliments you've heard from men in your entire life.

10) Then write a list of what you learned during your relationship, or what he taught you. Mentally thank him for this, but start the list with the words: "I learned." It can be all your acquired skills from any area of life, for example, “I learned how to cook avocado borscht”, “I learned how to get enough sleep in 4 hours”, “I learned how to make smokey ice”.

Many advise you to write a list of thanks to him, but it will be superfluous, mental gratitude is enough.

11) Write two lists. The first one, in which describe what kind of his touches you liked, what new erogenous zones he opened in you. In the second - describe directly what exactly you liked about sex with him.

12) If you are a church person, go to church, forgive him, order him a magpie for health. Just do not need to go to fortune-tellers with the aim of a love spell and the hope of returning it, even if everything works out, you will not only take a huge sin, but are unlikely to be happy.

How else to forget a lover if he is strongly drawn to him even without him into the pool?

Money for psychologists - spend on beauticians

If you go to a psychotherapist, it will be beneficial for him that you go to him as long as possible and more often, he will do everything so that you cook in this situation, remember and scroll through your experiences.

Cry, sleep and eat ice cream

Judging by American cinema, this is exactly what all abandoned girls do to achieve psychological well-being. As if specifically for this purpose, she has a bucket of delicious ice cream in her house, a bottle of good wine and a whole playlist of melodramas suitable for such an occasion.

Gather your friends and hang out in a club

The first thing that all girls instinctively do is kick out a wedge with a wedge. They take girlfriends, go to a club, order alcohol and meet guys. The main thing that you must understand is that you are not looking for someone for a new relationship, but someone with whom you can break away and feel the taste for life.

Before that, reread the rules of sex for one night, and think about which of the guys you would like to get to know better. Since now you most of all need an experienced lover with a beautiful body, pay attention to dancers, outright womanizers and pick-up artists.

You will not build relationships with them, but they will skillfully make sure that you like everything. By the way, hint to him about those things from the list that you will definitely like and be open to everything new.

Social networks and photos

1) Do not delete your shared photos, use the "Frame" tool and simply cut it out of all photos, this will help you keep those photos where you turned out well, plus an additional psychological trick of removing it from your life;

2) Remove him and all his friends from your social networks;

3) Treat yourself to photo shoots. Of course, you can share them to annoy him, but you can also do this for yourself:

- dress in all those things that he forbade you to wear or criticized;

- if he forbade you to dye your hair and make tattoos, you don’t need to do it now to spite him, just ask the photographer to finish everything in Photoshop;

- no need to be photographed in a wedding dress, if you are married - this is stupid, if not - even jinx it. Take a picture in a beautiful evening dress that will highlight all your advantages;

- If you are married and your husband does not mind, take a picture in the "boudoir style", seeing your beautiful body in underwear, your curves and a languid look, anyone will begin to regret parting;

- if after parting you decided on a new image, be sure to take a picture in it. By this you show that you let go of the situation, that in that life there were other you, it was possible to behave differently with you, and now everything, you

– new and waiting for your better future;

4) Subscribe to the account of a handsome actor, and in your free time go to his page and scroll through the photo, it's better than going to the page of a former lover.

Vacation and new hobby

Try to carve out time and money for a vacation, away from everything, in a new place you can rethink everything, your personality will be rebooted.

A new hobby is worth finding, not only to score all the time and there was no time and energy to think, it will also give an opportunity to make new acquaintances.

You can go shopping, try on new things, eat delicious food, go to the gym - you need to give your body the pleasant sensations that it lacks. So you change the focus of attention, unwind, forget. That's all the advice on how to forget a married lover, or maybe a free one from a relationship - this is not so important.

If you did everything right, you should have only a light, light sadness left, you will remember relationships without emotions, just as part of your life.

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