Disappointment after a long correspondence with a man. Signals for the immediate termination of correspondence

As practice shows, almost every state body has such a “client”, whom the employees of this body know by name and patronymic, and with whom they have been in correspondence for many years. True, departments sometimes forget that it is necessary to correspond with such citizens in strict accordance with the requirements of the law, otherwise unpleasant legal proceedings are inevitable.

In January 2012, the Judicial Collegium for Civil Cases of the Moscow City Court made a decision in case No. 33-957/2012, in which an attempt to stop correspondence with such an “intrusive” citizen was declared illegal.

The essence of the dispute

In April 2011, a citizen applied to the head of the Department of Education of Moscow with a statement to invalidate from the moment of issuance: order of the Committee for Education of the Moscow Government dated December 30, 1996 No. 521 “On measures to prevent illegal collection of funds from parents of students”, part 3 of the order Department of Education of the Government of Moscow dated November 7, 2007 No. 07/11 "On measures to prevent illegal collection of funds from parents (legal representatives) of students, pupils"; as well as on the recognition of illegal grounds for bringing her to disciplinary responsibility in the form of dismissal under paragraph 10 of article 81 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation ( Termination of the employment contract at the initiative of the employer - N.Kh.).

In a letter signed by the head of the Department for Coordinating the Activities of the Moscow Department of Education, the citizen was informed that correspondence with her had been terminated due to the fact that her appeals were of a repetitive nature and were answered many times.

For reference: Russian legislation provides for the right of a state body to terminate correspondence with a citizen, but several conditions must be met for this.
Federal Law of May 2, 2006 No. 59-FZ “On the Procedure for Considering Appeals from Citizens of the Russian Federation”
Article 11
5. If the citizen's written application contains a question to which he was repeatedly given written answers on the merits in connection with previously sent appeals, and at the same time in the appeal no new arguments or circumstances are given, the head of a state body or local self-government body, an official or an authorized person has the right to decide on the groundlessness of the next appeal and the termination of correspondence with a citizen on this issue, provided that the specified appeal and previously sent appeals were sent to the same state body, local government or the same official. Citizen is notified of this decision who submitted the request.

The citizen applied to the head of the Moscow Department of Education with a complaint, in which she asked to take under special control and personally consider her complaint and give an answer, recognize the arguments set forth in it as legitimate and justified, cancel the above decision of the head of the Department, bring the latter to disciplinary responsibility and oblige to provide the citizen with a number of documents. No response was given to this complaint at all.

The citizen filed a lawsuit in which she asked to recognize the actions of the head of the Department and the head of the Department as unlawful and illegal, to oblige to eliminate the violations in full, having considered her complaint on the merits and to cancel the illegal decision to terminate correspondence with her, and also to provide her with information about activities of the Department, motivated and fully answered the questions on the list of 12 points.

Position of the Perovsky District Court of Moscow

The Perovsky District Court of Moscow in November 2011 took into account that in the message sent to the citizen about the termination of correspondence with her, in violation of the requirements of Part 5 of Article 11 of Federal Law No. 59-FZ, there was no indication of the issue on which the correspondence was terminated. The possibility of a complete (and not on a specific issue) termination by a state body, local government body or their officials of correspondence with a citizen is not provided for by law and administrative regulations of the Department of Education of the City of Moscow.

The court also took into account the fact that there was no proper evidence showing that the head of the Department for Coordinating the Activities of the Moscow Department of Education had the right to decide to stop correspondence with the citizen and to sign the corresponding message addressed to her.

Refusing to satisfy the requirements stated by the citizen regarding the obligation of the head of the Department of Education of Moscow to provide information on the activities of the Department, having reasonably and fully answered the questions on the list of 12 points given in the application, the court proceeded from the fact that to regulate the content of the response to the citizen’s appeal on specific matters are not within the jurisdiction of the court.

As a result, the court:

Recognized as unlawful the inaction of the head of the Moscow Department of Education, which consisted in the failure to provide a citizen with an answer to her complaint against the actions of the head of the Department for Coordinating the Activities of the Department;

Recognized the actions of the head of the Department for Coordinating the Activities of the Department of Education in Moscow to stop correspondence between the Department and the citizen as illegal;

Obliged the head of the Moscow Department of Education to eliminate in full the violation of the rights and freedoms of a citizen by canceling the decision of the head of the Office to stop correspondence with a citizen and giving a response to her complaint against the actions of the head of the Office;

Refused to satisfy the citizen's application regarding the obligation of the head of the Department to provide her with information about the activities of the Department, motivated and fully answering the questions given in the updated application

Judicial Board for civil cases of the Moscow City Court left unchanged the decision of the Perovsky District Court of Moscow, and the cassation appeal of the citizen - without satisfaction.

My comment: No matter how much you sometimes want to stop correspondence with a citizen who “overwhelms” the department with his letters, this must be done, if at all, then in strict accordance with the law. Otherwise, the result may turn out to be just the opposite - the actions of the department will be recognized as illegal, and the citizen will have another reason to write letters ...

That is exactly what happened in this particular case. A story about this is in the next post about judicial practice.

Most girls communicate with men through text messages or correspondence on social networks. But few people know that in fact, correspondence is a very powerful weapon for intriguing and falling in love with men, even before you met. And there are even fewer girls who use these weapons correctly. Now you will learn how to use SMS correspondence to fall in love and seduce any man.

SMS messaging allows you to embed some commands and run cool little thought viruses, as a result of which he will think about you while you sent it and forgot.

If you send him a catchy SMS and forget about it, he will think, call back, answer you. And while you're at it, you're minding your own business. You work, study, communicate with friends, and he has already phoned, signed up to you. And he wants to see you, he thinks about you and emotionally invests in you! Beauty!
It is especially cool to use SMS in order not to call the first guy. No, I'm not saying that you should never call him first, but I say that there are situations when you don't know if he can talk on the phone now, is it convenient for him - then you just send him a "special" SMS, after which he starts ringing you as soon as he reaches the phone.

In SMS, you can write something that you cannot tell him that you are uncomfortable, or some kind of frankness. Therefore, SMS has a number of advantages over real communication.

Let's look at the basic rules and techniques in SMS correspondence, which, if you use, will give results almost immediately.

1. He must wait for an answer from you always longer than you waited for an answer from him. And NEVER do you answer him right away. Even if you are free, even if you really waited for his answer, even if you really want to ..

2. Your messages should be shorter than his messages. Writing whole stories to him in prose is the lot of women who lack communication. This is what he starts to think when he sees an A4-sized text message from you and is full of emoticons and other crap. The fact that you communicate with him and correspond with him already speaks of your interest.
In order to create the right image in SMS, your messages must be two times shorter than his. This will indicate that he wants to communicate with you more. Yes, it seems that it is simple and banal, but in practice it gives a powerful result in the form of his real interest in you.

3. SMS should contain only letters folded into words. And nothing more. Never. Nobody. No emoticons, no other punctuation marks, not even dots or question marks.

You will learn about the other 10 rules of correspondence, from which he will simply “go crazy” at one of my online trainings. Here are some of them:

Image in SMS
- Emotional swing
- Intrigue

Purpose of SMS

You will also receive 30 specific examples of SMS, after which a man starts thinking about you, falling in love with you and trying to meet you as soon as possible.

The main rules of correspondence with a man

I wonder why girls miss so many opportunities to make a man intrigued by you, so that he starts thinking about you and falling in love, so that he starts giving you gifts, tries to get you out on a date, etc.
Text messaging or social media messaging is one of the most powerful tools that, if used correctly, will make a man fall in love with you and want to ask you out on a date. Any man.

Correspondence rules

At first glance, it may not be clear why I paid so much attention to correspondence. But now you will understand.
Do not forget to write in the comments below how you corresponded with men before, whether you did it right and how you will act now, after reading this article.
In general, you will learn how to conduct correspondence correctly, what exactly to write so that guys fall in love with you at my training or in coaching.

Well, for now, I will just give you basic and very valuable recommendations. If you use them, they will give you results today, and already today he will invite you to a cool romantic date, or drag you into some pleasant and emotional adventure.

Correspondence.

Most women use correspondence as a means of informing
each other and men about anything.

Do you really think he's interested in what you did today? Or, after you answer his next question, will it become more interesting for him to communicate with you and he wants to see you as soon as possible?

NO! NO! NO! and again NO!
Remember, every SMS, every message, should have its own specific purpose. The general goal of all communication with men is to call emotions for you in their heads!

Therefore, the purpose of each SMS is to evoke some kind of emotion. Not informing him about something that seems interesting to you, but CHALLENGING EMOTIONS!

When he starts to feel emotions for you, he starts to become attached to you, starts to want you. Men do not want the most beautiful, not the smartest, men want those - WHO CAUSES EMOTIONS. Although…they will never tell you about it…..because. they themselves do not realize this, otherwise everyone would marry only beauties.

Ok, back to the correspondence.

There are 10 main rules of correspondence. Now we will consider only 3, but the effect of them will pleasantly surprise you, like many of my students.
Rule #1: Never reply to a text about him as soon as you read it. He must wait. The longer the better. When he waits, he thinks of you. He starts to get nervous. He has questions: why don't you answer, what are you doing so important and interesting. This is very good for you! Just remember yourself when you were waiting for a message or a call from someone, remember your state, how glad you were when he finally called or wrote.

You can answer SMS in 30-60 minutes, and preferably in 12-24 hours. So his interest in you will warm up even more.

1 sms a day is the norm.

Rule number 2. Your text in SMS should be shorter than his.
Noticeably shorter: he has 2 sentences, you have one, he has 2 words, you have one. The length of the text during the correspondence shows your level of interest in it. Maybe it sounds silly, but men perceive it that way. Play by these rules and his interest in you will grow.

Also remove all signs and emoticons! In the text of the message only words! ONLY WORDS. And nothing more. Extra characters show the wrong image of you in SMS. You probably think something like: he will not understand anything without punctuation marks. So that's great! Let him think, guess what you wrote - it plays in your favor. And if he doesn’t understand anything at all, he starts calling back, and you don’t pick up the phone

It will be a cool intrigue from scratch.

Rule number 3. And a few words about the image. When you write a message to a man, always remember what kind of image you put in the SMS text.
As you write, so he will understand!

If you will convey to him the image of an insecure, unlucky woman who has everything bad with men and life is hard, then he simply does not want to pull such a woman out on a date. And if you create the image of a cool woman who everyone loves, who is lucky in life, who is looked after by different men, who always knows what to do and with whom to have a great time - this is where he will start thinking how to make such a woman his own. And he will begin to act for this. You will learn the rest of the rules and techniques of correspondence in my seminar “Falling in Love by Correspondence”. You will also receive 30 specific examples and SMS templates that make men go crazy and fall in love with you from a distance.

1. The very first sign that you are dealing with an unworthy person is any direct or hidden insults addressed to you. If your candidate insults you by any means, humiliates you, makes you feel out of place, then this is a signal to immediately stop any contact with this person, no matter how hard it is for you. Naturally, at the first stage of a relationship, a man will disguise himself as a decent person. But, you can catch the signs of this type of people even at the very beginning. Pay attention: how this person speaks about other people, how this person relates to people. If there is arrogance in his voice and with all his words a man makes it clear how lucky you are that you are with him, then these are the first signs of this type of people. Be careful. Remember, the longer you continue this relationship, the more pain it will bring you. There are also many violent, wife-beating men among Western men. Moral ugliness has no nationality.

2. The next sign that a man is not worthy of your attention is constant promises to come, which are never fulfilled, moreover, constantly for various, completely unusual reasons. Up to fictional accidents, sudden illnesses of children and any other sudden, major troubles. A typical excuse in such a situation is a sudden accident. Another typical excuse is sudden difficulties at work that cannot be resolved without him. In this case, in most cases, the man will tell you that if you had met a few months ago, he would have come to you literally within a few weeks, but now it doesn’t work, please wait. The amount of time you have to wait usually increases as the relationship progresses. By the way, this candidate is likely to come, but the percentage that your relationship has a very low future, because from the very beginning, relationships are built on lies and manipulation.

3. Or another line of behavior is chosen. You are not given any direct promises to come, under the pretext that you need to get to know each other better. In this case, the man speaks about this woman directly, or all your questions about the date of your personal meeting receive only vague mutterings about employment at work, a sick aunt, the inability to take a vacation. You, while waiting for the weather by the sea, are simply wasting your precious time. The man is playing with you. He has no serious intentions. The outcome of such a situation usually lies in the continuation of correspondence over the next few months and the mysterious disappearance of a man at a moment when you do not expect it at all. Just please don’t worry, don’t think after his sudden disappearance that something terrible has happened to him, that he, poor thing, is lying unconscious somewhere. Rest assured he's all right. He never intended to visit you. He simply needed someone to cry at his leisure or for spiritual communication. A large percentage of men who correspond via the Internet with Russian women are not going to come to Russia. For them, it's just a game. According to statistics, only one out of 10 men who are in serious correspondence comes to Russia for a personal meeting with a woman.

4. The next sign is a 100% red light for you. If from the first letters a man bombards you with compliments. Constant phrases "I love you", "You are the most beautiful woman in the world". "I have never loved before as the way I love you." “I have looked for you all my pfe”… Firstly, it will not be so easy for a person who really loves you to tell you about it, and secondly, how can you truly love a person after exchanging a couple of letters. A man of this type usually speaks in a low, languid voice. The standard voice of an inveterate lover of women. And he constantly lets you know how lucky you are and that you would never have found better than him. This is a clear red light. Don't even think about it. Flee from such a person, otherwise he will bring a lot of pain into your life. A typical scenario of this story: at the beginning, his main task is to make you fall in love, turn your head and instill in you the confidence that he is the prince on a white horse that you have been waiting for all your life. Further, when you fall in love with him, or, more precisely, you start to like him very much, you will no longer hear any compliments from him, like any kind word. You will turn into a property for him, which he will throw when he wants, when he wants to pick it up. You will gradually be very disappointed in him, but during this time he will already significantly ruffle your nerves.

5. Also, a signal for a 100% break in relations is control by a man. Such a man, after some time of correspondence, begins to control and command you. It practically orders what you should and should not do. This is a very bad sign. The person is clearly very unpleasant and difficult to communicate with. Run from such relationships without even looking back. And, remember, what you see now is just the tip of the iceberg.

6. Another clear signal for a break is the signs of some kind of sexual deviation. Be very careful here. No one will tell you directly about this. Especially in the first letters and telephone conversations. But, if you let him talk about what he is interested in, then in a couple of weeks you will be able to catch who you are dealing with. Everything will start small. And it will grow to the extent that this person is sure that you will not disappear from the horizon as soon as you understand what is happening here. In any case, communication with this person is dangerous for you. If he is only interested in your sexuality and the color of your underwear, then, believe me, this is just the beginning. By the way, to the story that someone offended you, he will always answer with a memorized “Sorry” and quickly transfer the topic of conversation to his favorite direction or will not answer anything at all. Such a person is not interested in you as a person; in simple words, he doesn’t care whether you are alive or not. Do not waste time, such a person, most likely, will not make you happy. Why is he with you? Yes, because of the usual male instinct, trying to explain in decent words. Such types on the Internet periodically meet. You need to end the relationship immediately before it's too late. And, be prepared for the fact that such a person will not let you go quickly and easily. The further the relationship goes, the harder it will be to break it.

7. There are men who go to Russia because they think that marrying a Russian woman is a very good deal. Such a man is looking for a Russian selfless worker to hang on her all household chores, and maybe financial ones. And most importantly, to vent their anger was on someone. Such a man understands that in his environment no one even looks in his direction, but he wants a relationship. Values for such a person are money, sex, position in society, material property. These are usually men with an extremely vile character. If he succeeds, then as a result he will have a complete set for a low price: a housekeeper, a psychotherapist, a stress reliever, and maybe you will also get a job, then there will be heaven on earth in general. You mean nothing to him. Your price for him depends on the investment he makes in you. The more investments, the more he will hold on to you. This type of men is very common among Western suitors. At the first stage of acquaintance, they usually try very hard to give the impression of a worthy, kind, caring person. But, they are not long enough. After a very short period of time, a terrible character begins to appear, anger, anger, greed, cruelty. Then the insults and humiliation begin. And if he nevertheless lured you to his homeland, then you will not return without gray hair. Life and loneliness in Russia will seem like paradise compared to the new life. Breaking off a relationship with such a person is very difficult. Especially if he invested some money in you. This refers to gifts, restaurants, or even small financial assistance. These types are usually very stingy. Every penny is counted, literally. Remember that at the first stage of a relationship, it is very difficult to discern such a person. Signs appear later, after 1-2 months.

8. A clear signal to break off relations is the request of a man to arrange the first meeting in his homeland or anywhere else in the world. If the person doesn't appreciate you enough to come to your country to meet you for the first time, then you need to continue your search. The usual excuses of men: workload and that his country is much more beautiful and warm. Perhaps there have been cases of happy meetings and continuation of relationships after such trips, but usually such stories have a very sad ending. The usual reason why a man does not want to come to you is that this person has no serious intentions. Most likely, besides you, this man offered such a trip to other women, in the hope that someone would agree.

9. There are whiners. Such a person constantly complains about everyone and everything. And he is sick, and no one loves him, and the boss underestimates him and his relatives have long forgotten. Some talk about suicide. You are different. You won't leave him or hurt him. It's a kind of blackmail. You don’t even know this person personally yet, but you should already feel responsible for his life. Cases of such suitors are rare, but they do occur and you need to be prepared not to fall for this bait. By the way, in reality, these people are far from harmless, but very cruel people. Stay away from such a person.

10. If a man deceived you, for example, about his age or place of work, or maybe about having children or a wife. Your response should depend on how big the lie was. Most likely for this person your correspondence is just an interesting pastime, a game. Think for yourself, a person with serious intentions will lie if you in any case, in the future, find out the truth? People in such situations lie when they know that you will never know the truth, because he will never come to you.

11. I advise you to be very careful if in the first letters a man uses informal expressions, such as "Sweetheart, baby, darpng, honey" and other similar expressions. Also note how the man signs at the end of the letter. If it's "Love, With Love" and other similar phrases, then this is a 100% red light for you.

12. And, lastly, be very attentive to how a man talks about your family and children. If you have caught manifestations of disrespect for your family or a strange interest in children, then this is an unconditional red light. For many women, these signals will seem familiar, but the thought of a breakup is scary and the best solution seems to be to go with the flow. But this is not the best, but the worst of what you can now do for yourself and your future.

You need to end this relationship before sunset today.

Appreciate yourself! Remember that thousands and thousands of worthy men are in search of ... just you.

The essence of the dispute

For reference: Russian legislation provides for the right of a state body to terminate correspondence with a citizen, but several conditions must be met for this.
Federal Law of May 2, 2006 No. 59-FZ “On the Procedure for Considering Appeals from Citizens of the Russian Federation”
Article 11
5. If the citizen's written application contains a question to which he was repeatedly given written answers on the merits in connection with previously sent appeals, and at the same time in the appeal no new arguments or circumstances are given, the head of a state body or local self-government body, an official or an authorized person has the right to decide on the groundlessness of the next appeal and the termination of correspondence with a citizen on this issue, provided that the specified appeal and previously sent appeals were sent to the same state body, local government or the same official. Citizen is notified of this decision who submitted the request.

Position of the Perovsky District Court of Moscow

As a result, the court:

Recognized as unlawful the inaction of the head of the Moscow Department of Education, which consisted in the failure to provide a citizen with an answer to her complaint against the actions of the head of the Department for Coordinating the Activities of the Department;

Recognized the actions of the head of the Department for Coordinating the Activities of the Department of Education in Moscow to stop correspondence between the Department and the citizen as illegal;

Obliged the head of the Moscow Department of Education to eliminate in full the violation of the rights and freedoms of a citizen by canceling the decision of the head of the Office to stop correspondence with a citizen and giving a response to her complaint against the actions of the head of the Office;

Refused to satisfy the citizen's application regarding the obligation of the head of the Department to provide her with information about the activities of the Department, motivated and fully answering the questions given in the updated application

Judicial Board for civil cases of the Moscow City Court left unchanged the decision of the Perovsky District Court of Moscow, and the cassation appeal of the citizen - without satisfaction.

That is exactly what happened in this particular case. A story about this is in the next post about judicial practice.

Girls are sometimes ashamed to write such things and ask for help. Because the cause of heart suffering is, in general, ridiculous. own illusions. I laughed at those too. Until she got herself into it.

And yes, I also had a principle not to correspond for a long time))) However ...

3+ months: corresponded and skype. I used to wake up to his messages and fall asleep to his good night wishes. It came almost to Wirth. "There is no working draft yet": I will arrive at the end of February (crossed out), in the middle of March (crossed out), in April. "I'm going to you", "I love you, I think." "I'll come and pick you up." As a result, there was a week in April. On the first weekend, he disappeared from the radar "he was drunk, you wouldn't like it"). On the second weekend, he arranged a meeting with me back to back on the eve of departure. Rescheduled for another 1 hour, late for an hour ("go somewhere, order something"). At the meeting, he behaved in such a way that he was not even drawn to friendship. Teased (foolishly. For example, let's go look for a cafe, I look at the map "Do you know what women suffer? topographic ... (and like I have to finish the sentence). Played crazy (there was something in the face and in speech, really strange, as if under a drug, although the brain is turned on, and he mentioned one drug pill). I brought him a book that I promised. He said "now I will feel guilty for not bringing you anything that I promised, and guilt results in shame And you know what shame is? Into aggression, and it will be directed at you. "Disrespect, insult. I was very angry, I didn’t show it. But in vain. Send him right there, to the cafe, while he calculated the time before the flight, to throw money in the face. I kept trying to cancel the order in the cafe, well, okay, I think I’ll put up with it, I’ll look into your eyes and listen. Still, because of anger, I was constrained all the time. And I wanted to give myself the opportunity to loosen up a little in the conversation, general find topics. Finally, she asked, “Do you want me to take you to the airport?” (he asked before the meeting) “Will you stay with me? (meaning: before departure, and departure tomorrow morning). "No." "Then what's the point?"

Humanly speaking, I'm disgusted. And I'm ashamed that I bought into this third-rate prank.

What makes a man manipulate like this, waste so much time? So empty that he only sees himself through the eyes of women in love? Why did you come to the meeting if you didn't want to?
I think in this case it's not so simple. He is not a perverted narcissist, all the signs of which he shows (after all, he was somewhat honest, I invented everything for myself). You can't help me with psychological articles here. He lives in another country, and he spends his free time on therapy, only she doesn’t seem to help him very much .. And yes, he is very attractive in a manly way. Intelligence is not very strong but very high-ranking. Yes, I'm all about him ...

But people. How bad.. Why did I fall for this? Clever and beautiful, active, 33 years old. What is happening to me? I'm de-energized. Restore faith in love

It seems that at first it was easy to accept, but now a week has passed and it has again been doused with cold. Now crying is easier.

Please support sincerely, with words, with your stories, with your questions, with information. Links to films / books - I would very much like - but if only in a personal (according to the rules, it is impossible in a comment)