Grandma's advice for a prosperous life. Grandma's advice: wisdom for every day. Be smarter, don't get excited
Every day we are faced with situations that can negatively affect the energy of your home. However, the wise advice of our grandmothers always helps to correct the situation.
Signs for consent in the family
You can't take someone's handkerchief and give it as a gift. In this case, the handkerchief is associated with tears that are wiped with it. Therefore, using someone else's handkerchief, you can incur other people's troubles and misfortunes. However, the negative impact can be avoided. As popular wisdom advises, for this it is necessary to formally pay off: to give something in return. For example, a penny, or an apple.
In order not to quarrel, it is necessary to be very careful about piercing and cutting objects. They are associated with harsh words that family members can subsequently express to each other. Signs for every day are advised not to leave the knife lying on the table: be sure to wash it before going to bed and put it away. Otherwise, there will be conflicts within the family.
Also, do not give a pin and accept it from other hands. It's better to take it yourself. It is believed that this small object can cause a lot of harm to the fate of a person. But in this case, you can pay off the quarrel. To do this, it is necessary that, when giving a pin, you are deliberately pricked, gently and not much.
In order for money to be found in the house, they cannot be shown to strangers. Indeed, among people there are those who can jinx and adopt the positive monetary energy of your home. But for the most common security reasons, this is also a logical warning: once again save yourself from theft.
Also, folk wisdom advises putting some money under the tablecloth. This will constantly attract wealth to you. And in order not to lose it, in no case do not sit on the table. Of course, such beliefs can be easily explained: the table is laid on what has already been earned, which means that the correct and dignified handling of it can indirectly affect financial energy.
A few more tips on how to maintain wealth in the house relate to bread. If the sun has already set, do not start cutting a new loaf: according to grandmother's wisdom, this will definitely bring only losses. Especially if you have a habit of shaking off the crumbs with your hand or paper napkin. In this way, you will only turn away your own wealth more strongly. In general, there are many beliefs associated with the kitchen, with which you can avoid any trouble.
There is a belief that our grandmothers passed from mouth to mouth to us - do not leave dirty dishes and do not scatter clothes. Yes, children are so often scared, saying that because of this, hell will come. However, daily maintenance of cleanliness is very justified not only from a hygienic point of view. The more dirt in your house, the more negative energy accumulates there, which contributes not only to quarrels, but also to illnesses.
Why did grandmothers always say that greeting, saying goodbye and passing through the threshold is bad and not right? Because behind the house, according to the beliefs of the Slavs, completely different spirits live, which can be hostile to humans. Greeting through the threshold, you create a kind of hole between the house and the outside world, through which positive protective energy can leave the house and, conversely, negative energy can come.
In daily maintenance of positive energy, not only the advice of ancestors, but also ancient Chinese wisdom can help you. Feng Shui at home noticeably changes the atmosphere for the better, so we suggest you put at least a few of the 12 strongest home talismans at home. May everything be safe in your family, and don't forget to press the buttons and
21.10.2016 05:07
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I had a very kind, gentle and sweet grandmother. She raised me with love and respect. When my daughter was born, my grandmother told me how to make every family day filled with joy and happiness.
Irina Zhigina, entrepreneur, caring mother
1. Smiling makes the world brighter. Start and end your day with a smile.
2. Respect the child, do not use offensive words, do not give categorical assessments (“you will never get better”, “you are a loser and a quitter”, and so on). If there is something to scold for, then you need to scold not a child, but a bad deed (not “you are a loser”, but “you learned your lessons poorly”).
3. If you had to punish a child, then you don’t need to constantly remember his misdeed. After all, he has already suffered for him a well-deserved punishment.
4. Respect your child's choice. Let him choose his favorite book, clothes or entertainment. You can choose from 2-3 options that suit you. As a result, your child will be happy that he made the choice on his own. If he is not satisfied with the proposed options, explain to him your position. Give arguments why it is so important for you to buy/make exactly this, and not another.
5. Consult with your child, ask his opinion on various issues.
6. Respect your child's personal time. Warn him of your plans. Do not be lazy, tell us about them in advance. After all, children can also have their own childish affairs: friends called for a visit or a game is planned on the street ...
7. Praise. And as often as possible. It seems to us that the child did some trifle, but for them, perhaps, this is a heroic deed.
8. Give your child a sense of belonging, the opportunity to be responsible for an important matter. Let some small, in our opinion, but constant duty help the child feel like an adult and responsible.
Do not beat off the child’s desire to help you with the words “you won’t succeed”, “you will only litter now” and so on. Let him litter and let it not turn out the way you would like - but he himself wanted to help you, and it's worth a lot!
9. Do something with your child. It was my grandmother who taught me how to cook pancakes and make jam, sew on a sewing machine and clean the apartment.
10. Show your child that you love him. Let the baby, not only in words, but also in deeds, see how much we love him. The confidence and success of a child is very much dependent on love for him.
11. Create and cherish family traditions. It is a resource from which we draw energy even when loved ones are no longer alive.
My grandmother was very fond of singing and playing loto. When I came to her house, we went out on the porch and sang Russian folk songs, and then played loto - these memories still warm me.
12. Teach your child to accept other people and empathize with them. Try to explain how it is: to put yourself in the place of another.
13. Criticize your child as little as possible and don't do it in front of other people at all.
14. Be sincerely interested in the life of your child, his hobbies. Ask about new products that are of interest to him. My grandmother, with my help, knew all the modern performers, was interested in the performances and concerts we went to, and thought about a laptop. Well, we, in turn, no longer waiting for the grandmother to ask about something, we ourselves told her all the news!
One more thing. My grandmother used to talk about this very often.
Don't hurt your parents. And by your example, show your children how much your loved ones mean to you and how much you love them!
We often read that a wise woman, in response to her husband's infidelity, should go to get a new hairstyle and cook a romantic dinner, light candles, put on stockings, and it is best not to notice or pay attention to betrayal. And then the husband, who is already cheating, will think "but my wife is nothing" and stop cheating. And if it does not stop, then at least it will remain in the family.
No. There is no need to do so.
The correct scheme for how to proceed, I described in this post. But now I want to repeat it and explain why this particular scheme is correct, while others are not.
Why can't you run and do a new hairstyle, buy a turkey and immediately bake it with apples?
First of all, because it is unnatural behavior. You are offended and shocked by the act of your husband. You have been humiliated. Why bother trying to please him? To reinforce unwanted behavior with gratitude? Of course, you are in a panic, it seems to you that your marriage is being destroyed, but a romantic dinner will not save him, do not build illusions. But your self-esteem will suffer seriously. Whereas the most important thing for you at such a difficult moment is to save it, self-respect. This is what needs to be saved, and everything else will follow.
But saving self-respect must not be at the cost of the final destruction of marriage. That is, you should not announce to your husband "get out, dirty bastard, I hate you" (although, perhaps, you really want to). Yes, self-respect can win from such a step, but soon the panic will increase and, most importantly, you will be responsible for the fact that you kicked your husband out when he, perhaps, did not want to leave, regretted the act and dreamed of making amends. You will never know exactly what he wanted or did not want, and for you in a situation of a failed marriage, such responsibility can be completely overwhelming. You may regret that you so easily lost your husband to your rival, she took credit for herself, decided that her husband left you because of her love for her, although in fact you drove him out of pride without giving him even a chance.
Therefore, pride in self-esteem is not a friend here. The first ten minutes you will be pleased with yourself, and then it will become so bad for you that you can do many self-humiliating acts, for example, you will call and offer not to get excited, call for a conversation and make similar movements that will ruin your self-esteem, and show your husband that it is better to stay away from you while you are so staggering.
The only correct scheme can be one that will help both maintain self-respect and show respect for a partner (and this is important in order to make his return to you desirable), help not to destroy himself, but also not to take responsibility for the final destruction of marriage.
This scheme is one, since the laws of logic are very definite. These are the very words that need to be said sincerely and seriously (having felt it before).
1. I love you and don't want to lose you.
2. If you love another, I must let you go to her, go.
This is the most logical and efficient scheme. She is also the most beautiful. The words may be different, the essence is the same.
Why is it difficult for many to say such reasonable words?
1. It seems to them that it is necessary to express resentment so that he does not think that his act is a trifle.
2. It seems to them that they need to fall at their feet and sob so that he understands that they are not indifferent to him.
In fact, you don't need to do any of this. This distortion of consciousness creates the illusion that all this is so important. No one will ever think that cheating is a trifle for you, especially if you offer to leave. No one will think that you are indifferent to your husband, especially if you say that you love very much and do not want to lose, even knowing that you have been cheated on. There is no contradiction in this phrase, but there is a contrast, and the second part strengthens the first, and the first strengthens the second. This is an ideal design, because it has everything that is important, and nothing more.
In response to these words, a man (and a woman who has changed too), as a rule, says one of three options:
1. I don't want to go anywhere, I want to stay with you, she means nothing to me. (The choice is yours)
2. I love you and her (either I love you, I want her, or I’m attached to you, in love with her, etc.), I want to stay with you, but continue the relationship with her (option: I’m confused, I don’t know ). (The choice is difficult)
3. Yes, you're right, it's better for us to leave. (Choosing in her favor)
Having received answer No. 3, you don’t need to panic, you need to let go, saying that it hurts a lot for you, but this is his choice. On such an answer, nothing usually ends, but only begins. Your husband may later tell you many times that he was wrong, changed his mind, or became clouded. The more correctly you act, the faster and more radical changes will begin when he breaks away from you. Of course, this is provided that your marriage has not been destroyed for a long time and at least something is left of it, at least some kind of connection.
After receiving answer #2, you should say that you love him and therefore (therefore yes, that's why) you cannot bear his double relationship, you do not want it, you ask him to leave (or leave yourself) so that he can make a choice, and let this will take time. If you were indifferent, you would agree to watch, but you love and do not agree to be present. Why is it so important not to agree to the situation "wife + mistress"?
Because by remaining such an unhappy, insulted, humiliated, but clinging to relationship being, you will go into the red more and more every day. In minus or default. Very rare women are able in such a situation to maintain at least some attractiveness and not lose self-respect. A tank will drive over you and crush your bones, comparing you to the ground, that's what will happen approximately. But if you manage to leave, distance yourself, close, then the chances that your significance will grow every day are very high. All the balls will be on the other side, and this is a strong weapon. The husband will think about you and miss you, remember all the best, think about what he has lost, and the value of the loss will also grow. Nearby, nothing like this will happen, but exactly the opposite will happen - the depreciation of all your efforts. Do not give up your last chance to win back his love for the illusion that you are still together, that your marriage is still relevant. It is better to part for a while, until cardinal changes have occurred in him and he has not returned to you with love.
After receiving answer #1 (sometimes after answer #3 or #2, after a while) you can think about what you personally need to forgive your husband and continue with him. You can make it clear that you need time to recover, hint that you want to see his tenderness or passion, but if the husband really made a choice in your favor, you will get all this in full, sometimes even more than at the beginning of the relationship and without any hint. You have the right to ask to completely end the relationship with your mistress and give you evidence (for example, a letter in which the husband announces to her the termination of the relationship and the choice in favor of his wife), you have the right to set any other conditions (only fair and in moderation, you it will be worse if your conditions turn out to be unbearable), although if the husband really made a choice, you don’t even have to set conditions, he will offer everything himself, he will be interested in regaining trust.
If the husband does not agree to the conditions, then answer No. 1 is a formal one, but in fact he has not made a choice, he is still rushing about. Therefore, you should act as in the case of answer No. 2, then suggest that he still part and decide, do not communicate until he has decided, or communicate briefly and to the point. Any attempts to keep you in the triangle need to be softly or harshly suppressed (and they will be, as they will be), each time explaining that there is love, but you won’t be third, it’s not for you, and pride has nothing to do with it, it just hurts . Do not settle for a compromise, this is not the case. Even if you are interested in free love, such things are not done treacherously, but are discussed in order to maintain trust, this is something completely different.
The same scheme is fully relevant for men who are experiencing a betrayal of their wife.
Very often it seems that it is right to simply expel the traitor, adding a kick in the ass for speed, and not to conduct any negotiations with him. However, it is not. Even if you decide in the end to end the relationship, it will be more pleasant for you to do this if your spouse still chooses you and asks you to come back. If you throw them out as soon as you find out about the betrayal, it may turn out that you will think for years later that you were abandoned or accidentally changed. At first there is no difference, then the difference will be very significant for you. Your self-respect will win if your spouse leaves, and then asks you back and persuades you to forgive, but you do not want to forgive him. This is much better than driving him away in anger, and then shedding tears and waiting back or even calling back, and he will not come back because you insulted him and scared him. If you behaved correctly, he would most likely come (according to the law of an open gestalt) and give you the opportunity to say the last word yourself. Even if this word is "no", but you will say it, not you.
If you still decide to forgive the unlucky spouse, then it will not be you who will restore the marriage, do hairstyles and bake the goose in apples, but he, when he regrets, gets bored, comes to his senses and will rush back. And this is likely to happen. Your rival or rival will be put to shame, you will return to the relationship, if not serenity, at least love. The game is worth the candle, isn't it?
As for "feminine wisdom", that is, to the point of pretending that everything is fine, to please and cling, and then agree to life in a triangle - this is the path to lower and lower significance, to gradually starting to turn into just furniture . You will not have energy left, you yourself will not notice how you will lose faith in yourself. No one will appreciate your humility and obsequiousness, because only your fear and your weakness are behind it. There is nothing good or attractive behind this.
Yes, and you are unlikely to be able to stay in the image of a wise woman stably. Surely you will break loose every now and then, sometimes hysteria, then beg for forgiveness, all the time follow, blame and extort promises that no one was going to give you, because you are already climbing out of your skin to please. What other promises do you have? You are ready to kiss your feet even without promises. So kiss until you are asked to move away and not get in the way. Unfortunately, this is the fate of those who betray themselves - to roll down. The human society is quite cruel, because its goal is to cultivate strength, not weakness.
Yes, the scheme only works if the husband (wife) himself admitted to cheating or did not deny it. If he hides and denies, the situation is different, but more on that some other time.
You can always find more interesting information and useful tips on ours.
The girl has been cheating on her husband for 5 years. It is a very difficult period for her now, especially that it has been going on for a long time, she wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting, she didn't even have the incentive to get up in the morning. Her life was falling apart...
One day she went to visit her grandmother, the only place where she felt at ease. Her grandmother was a wise and loving woman. She took three pots and put them on the stove, after a couple of minutes, the water in all the pots began to boil. In the first she put carrots, in the second eggs, and in the third - coffee beans.
Without saying a word, she just looked at the pans.
Granny cooked these products for 20 minutes. Then she pulled out the carrots and eggs and put them next to the coffee cup. Tell me what you see - "Carrots, eggs and coffee" - said the granddaughter.
Grandmother asked me to pick up carrots. She took it in her hands and said that she had become softer. Grandma asked me to break an egg. After she peeled off the shell, she saw that inside was a hard-boiled egg. Finally, her grandmother told her to sip her coffee.
The granddaughter loved coffee, its aroma, and therefore, as soon as she sipped, a shadow of a smile appeared on her face.
The girl asked - "Grandma, what does it all mean?" Grandmother began to interpret, comparing everything with adversity, in this case with boiling water. She told how the same thing can affect different objects in different ways. Before the “problems”, carrots were hard, strong, but now they have become soft and pliable. Before the “meeting with boiling water”, the egg was fragile, all that protected its internal contents from the outside world was a thin shell. But adversity hardened his character.
And finally, last but not least, she said that coffee beans did the almost impossible. After they were added to boiling water, they not only changed themselves, but also changed the space around them.
Then the grandmother asked: “Who do you think you are?”
“When trouble knocks on the door, how do you react? Do you feel like carrots, eggs or coffee? Are you a carrot that is strong only in ordinary situations and that softens in a difficult period? Or maybe you are an egg that is soft under natural conditions, but with difficulties becomes hard as a stone? Or are you a coffee bean? Which changes not only itself, but also changes the world around, what becomes the cause of adversity? Difficulties make you better, reveal your whole essence, let your fragrance unfold. ”
When things aren't going as well as you'd like, who do you associate yourself with?
How do you deal with difficulties? Like carrots, eggs or coffee beans?
For as long as I can remember, I have always been called a strong-willed woman. I overcame the difficulties that arose once or twice. Everything would be fine until something unexpected happened.
I found out about my husband's infidelity. The first thing that came to mind was to break up with him. For many years I was sure that I was the only one with him, and here it is .... but I did not have enough willpower to part.
I love my husband and did not plan to give him to another woman. Then I took a different path, and as it turned out, it was he who was the most faithful.
It took me willpower to pull myself together and soberly assess the situation. I tried to find the reason for the betrayal of the spouse. It turned out, but she was hiding in me.
First, I devoted a lot of time to work. At home, she behaved with her husband like a boss with a subordinate. I demanded obedience and did not compromise. Ignored his interests. And secondly, I considered myself better and more beautiful than other women.
Looking at myself in the mirror, I saw in it a despotic aunt with dull eyes and ten kilograms of excess weight. Gathering my nerves into a fist, I did not throw a tantrum to my husband. It took me a lot of willpower to extinguish the raging emotions in me.
To be honest, it was hard to do! The husband had no idea about anything and still went "to the left." Within a month, I completely rebuilt my family life, myself and my relationship with my spouse.
I became an ordinary woman, I left a high-ranking position. I began to visit the house more often and stopped picking on trifles. She went on a diet and completely changed her wardrobe. I looked at the world differently and it turned out that there are many interesting and beautiful things in it.
For example, fishing, football, sauna and gatherings with the mother-in-law. Yes, don't be surprised! And I also realized that socks scattered around the house are better than their complete absence. Relations with her husband improved. Now we have many common interests.
I thank God that he gave me reason and willpower at that time in the name of saving our family. To all women who find themselves in a similar situation, I want to say:
- Every weak-willed fool can part with her husband, but in order to forgive and keep, great willpower is needed!
Natalia Golitsyna
