Is it worth waiting for your man? How to attract a man into your life? The law of attraction and how it works. NOT your man

In this article, psychologist Evgenia Dvoretskaya answers the question “How to wait for your man?”

How to live for a woman who never got her man
How to stop waiting for love
What does a man want if he proposes marriage in two weeks?

In order to become happy, a woman needs to be confident in herself, her decisions and principles. If she cannot put up with the actions and behavior of men who meet her on the path of life, if she rejects them and breaks off weak ties, then this is the most correct choice that she sees for herself. And she, first of all, must respect this choice. However, after another breakup, a woman, of course, has doubts and painful thoughts that she may not wait for the ideal man who suits her completely. What to do in this case - continue to wait or give up unsuccessful attempts? And how can a woman live without her man?

Become self-sufficient

Each woman is extraordinarily strong, each is an extraordinary person. It is important to understand that even without a man, a woman can lead a full life: work, travel, have fun, make friends and care. A woman is not an addition to a man, but a separate personality who can quite successfully cope with life’s tasks and difficulties. Understanding her own self-sufficiency will add confidence to a woman, allowing her to manage her life herself, and not suffer or try to quickly marry an untested and unreliable person. When a woman lets go of a problem, stops thinking about it every day and painfully trying to find a solution, this solution finds itself. As soon as a woman realizes that she is beautiful without a man nearby, he can immediately meet her.

Understand yourself

Often the thought of a woman without a man evokes pity, because modern society imposes its own values: without a home and family, a person is not successful. However, this is only the opinion of other people, which is not always possible to listen to. All people are different, so it is impossible to attribute only one point of view and outlook on life to everyone. There are many people on the planet who simply do not need the company of another person nearby. It’s worth understanding yourself: is a man really that important to you or is this an imposed stereotype? Perhaps you didn’t meet your man because you subconsciously wanted to be alone and live a free life. Or you set very strict requirements for men - then you should think about whether you yourself meet these requirements and whether you should soften them.

Take action

When you understand that you still need a man, you should stop just waiting and start acting. Men are also looking for a woman who suits them, which means you need to find those places where young people who are attractive to you gather. To do this, first determine what kind of man you consider to be what he should be: strong, smart, cheerful, romantic. Look for a man according to your criteria on dating sites, bars, shops, social networks. Expand your circle of acquaintances, ask your friends to introduce you to available men. We need to make it clear to the men around us in every possible way how beautiful, self-sufficient, self-confident and attractive a woman is free. Only when people around you see your attempts to start a relationship do they react to it. It is unlikely that you will be able to wait at home, sitting alone in front of the TV or monitor screen and at the same time hope that a life partner will be found on its own.

And remember that it’s never too late to meet your person, so don’t give up on your search, even if all previous attempts were unsuccessful. If you are sure that you need a man, he will definitely be found - exactly the one you were waiting for.

Every girl dreams of a successful marriage, a strong family and sincere love. But the years go by, and women's happiness does not come.

Why is it so difficult for smart girls, beautiful women, and those young ladies who cook wonderfully to meet their man?

Because most women, while waiting for love, lead the wrong lifestyle and are not mentally ready for a serious relationship.

Taking care of yourself, buying fashionable clothes and attending men's events is not enough.

Learn to attract true love, prepare in advance for family life and do not make fatal mistakes in your dreams of marriage. Which ones specifically? We'll tell you in this article.

Answer yourself 3 questions.

What is the purpose of family?
Do I want to start a family?
Am I ready to go all the way for the sake of my family?

If there are no answers, then the dreams are imagination. Uncertainty in desires takes away energy.

In dreams of marriage, a girl often leads a wild life, flirts with everyone she meets, avoids serious conversations and is not ready to sacrifice personal comfort.

Marriage-oriented men are interested in women with specific goals and moral principles.

If you are looking for sincere love, change your lifestyle and decide what you want, and then act. Don’t let the hormone adrenaline become the criterion for happiness.

Mistake 2 - Wrong man

Often young ladies want to get married, fall in love, but the chosen one leaves for another girl. It's hard to get over it. Strength, time, energy are wasted.

Before becoming attached to the object of adoration, decide whether this man is yours or not.

If you are just asking a young man out on a date, this is a warning sign. Use your mind and stop. The person is not interested in friendship.

Communicate with those young people who reach out to you, seek meetings, are ready to help, care and support you in difficult situations.

Loving bad men today is fashionable, but stupid. Feelings are easy to manage, you just have to want them.

Mistake 3 - Consumer Attitude

If you want happiness in marriage, know that family life is painstaking work. A lot of new responsibilities, worries and difficulties appear.

Don’t expect that there will be a spouse who will do the laundry, cook, and put the house in order. Yes, such instances occur, but rarely.

Understand yourself and get ready to become an exemplary housewife and homemaker. The man will appreciate it.

Don't be consumers, learn to give. Remember that if you do not invest energy and time in your family, then it is impossible to receive attention and love.

Mistake 4 - False Images

Do you dream of a loving and caring husband, but cherish false ideas about family? It's so hard to see reality.

Glamor magazines and fashion television programs dictate the following images of happiness: strong shoulders, loving kisses under the moon and heartbreaking meetings on the coast...

Close people often catch colds, don’t shave, are sad and tired. Our halves grow old, forget about the main events, but remain faithful and loved. This is happiness.

Mistake 5 - Dejection and inaction

When you are waiting for true love, being sad and lazy to act are the wrong ways. This is equivalent to jumping from a height without a parachute. After all, you will crash!

The sweetness of despondency is that you can do nothing. But we need to act. Otherwise, it’s easy to remain unhappy and crushed.

First, calm down and calm down. Don't break your soul if you're unlucky in love yet. Men avoid horny women. Love will come when it needs to. Know how to wait.

In the meantime, take care of yourself. Read books, attend educational trainings, join a gym, find a hobby and go to a salon. Be constantly busy, and then there will be no time left for sadness. And your man is already on the road.

See you soon and have a happy marriage!

What are you waiting for? You are already 40 years old! Lower your demands on men. You need to sacrifice something.

If you are smart and handsome, then you are poor. If rich, then ugly. And if he is handsome, smart, rich, and also caring and decent, then he will definitely marry someone better than you. You are not a beautiful woman and you are far from 20 years old.

Have they said anything similar to you?

How did you feel at that moment?

Perhaps you felt despair. Despair because the mind inside of you knew it was true. I know you resisted, coming up with compelling arguments: my figure at 40 is better than that of many 25-year-olds; Young men still pay attention to me; Now everyone is doing plastic surgery, and if it gets really bad, I’ll get a lift.

But the mind... the mind hears the biological female clock ticking.

Tick tock – fewer eggs have matured in your ovaries.

Tick-tock - the doctor diagnoses early menopause. And you so dreamed of giving birth to the man you love, whom you are about to meet!

What will happen if you don’t meet?

After all, the set - interesting, smart, sexy, gentle, kind, decent, generous, loving - is found in one out of a hundred thousand. Are you sure that this one out of a hundred thousand will choose you? If you calculate the probability of your chances, it is less than 1%! Just imagine - 99% are against you!

But, fortunately, reason, statistics, mathematics are not Life!

Life cannot be put into some kind of framework and rules: you need to get married before the age of 25; have time to give birth before 35, otherwise you won’t give birth or you’ll give birth down; beautiful people marry beautiful people; rich - on the rich.

Yesterday I studied the natal chart of Wallis Simpson - the same one who stole King Edward from England. It would seem that the heir to the throne has access to any beauties, but he chooses Wallis - not young (at the time of the meeting with the king she was already 35 years old), not beautiful, married, with a fairly damaged reputation and who will never bear him a child.

Why exactly for her sake did he give up the crown of England and his relatives?

Where are the statistics with their probability odds?

And do you know what their leader, William Wallace (played by Mel Gibson) tells them?

He tells them: In a few minutes you may die, but you don’t have to fight - run and survive. But years from now, dying in your beds, you'll want to trade all the days after today for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and fight.

And now I’ll tell you: You can marry “Whatever”, just so as not to be alone. But every night, again and again, you will voluntarily allow yourself to be raped. You can give birth to children from "Whatever", but in your children - the very ones you so passionately desired - 50% will be from "Whatever".

And even if your sex life fades away in a year or two, the formless “What if” will continue to sit, buried in the TV, and demand food.

Agree, there is also little joy.

For those who agree with me, I will give only 2 pieces of advice. Only 2 tips:

Always believe that there is someone who is meant just for you. Believe in it just as you believe that spring will come after winter. This faith must be akin to knowledge.
If you are still alone, then there is something that you need to understand about yourself. Something you use to block love from coming into your life. You have been given time - use every year, day, hour of your single life to change the situation in which you find yourself.

And those who disagree with me, write why? Do you think that he will endure it and fall in love?

Become self-sufficient

Understand yourself

Take action

And this expectation is not associated with discomfort, with unpleasant experiences, because the princess knows that the prince will come. Since this is her desire, her intention, and she gives the opportunity to realize this in the outside world not through active actions, but through the power of her energy, which she accumulates while waiting. We talk about this in detail in lesson 9 .

A single woman herself, as a rule, makes efforts to meet a man. She herself is looking for a man, makes a lot of fussy movements, tries to please him. A woman is not waiting for her betrothed; she is in an active search, both physical and emotional.

Naturally, if nothing happens, it causes pain and disappointment. Action must bring results. Only the woman does not take on her own action.

This is the letter I received:

“Once again, after listening to the advice of some people, I decided to register on a dating site in order to meet a man. I already had experience communicating there, which left a negative aftertaste. This time I clearly felt disharmony and unnaturalness from this method of dating, when I was active. Each meeting with a man, on the one hand, increased my self-esteem (courtship, compliments, attention), but on the other hand, it took away my energy. After all, with everyone I had to share something intimate - my interests and outlook on life. The relationship did not develop in the way I would have liked. Either it all ended after the first meeting, or at most we met for about two weeks. I left the site, and it became very easy for me. It felt like I was in some kind of race that was causing me discomfort and stress.”

If a woman becomes active and tries to look for a man herself, she naturally feels exhausted. And it’s a very good sign that this woman felt uncomfortable and uncomfortable in this role.

Once at a women’s group, when we were discussing types of dating, the women told me about this type of dating, when you come to a cafe and sit opposite one man for 3 minutes, then move on to the next one, and if you like him, you need to pick up the phone, and then - make appointment. All the women participating in this type of dating felt complete devastation.

I repeat once again, a woman must WAIT for a man! Like a princess in a fairy tale, she believes 100% that he will come, since he cannot help but come. But your doors must be open, your heart must be ready to love. Therefore, it is necessary to heal it, restore feminine power. And the waiting time is given to you for restoration and replenishment, and not for an active search, which only destroys the nervous system and female dignity.

How important it is for a woman to wait for a marriage proposal and not do anything herself, do not jump out of the parental home prematurely into a civil relationship. To preserve your feminine dignity, you need to be able to wait.

For example, a woman did not get married, but moved in with a man. And then he wonders why the man behaves strangely, puts his things everywhere, doesn’t allow them to be put away, and doesn’t want to do repairs.

But the man behaves absolutely naturally, just like a BACHELOR behaves. He's a bachelor! The fact that you live in his house doesn't change anything. You are not the MISTRESS in this house, you are the GUEST! But guests do not furnish the house; they obey the will of the owner.

It is more correct to wait for a marriage proposal and move into your husband’s house with full rights, and not live there as a bird.

When a woman rushes things, everything turns out ugly and crumpled. You know, a woman jumps out of her parents’ house, hastily signs her name, but in her soul there is incompleteness, unfinished work. There was no wedding, there was no white dress. Should we rush?

A man is responsible only for the decisions he makes himself; he is not responsible for everything else.. This is an important secret. We also talk about this in class. .

If you couldn’t resist, pushed, or worse, forced a man to make a decision, don’t expect anything good, he will happily forget about it, or refuse responsibility.

For example, if you want to go outdoors, but you don’t have a car, this doesn’t mean you have to buy one yourself. Or decide for a man to take out a car on credit. We have to wait. Let your desire infuse, and let the man’s decision mature. If a man is not yet ready to buy it himself, then the time has not come yet.

We want it to be like this: we asked, and he immediately fulfills it. But a man needs time to make a decision. Because if he makes a decision, he is responsible for it. It’s us women who make decisions very quickly and forget about them tomorrow. Men are built differently. They need to think. But a woman needs to wait and not pester a man with impatience. This needs to be learned.

If you don’t know how to wait, then this also affects your relationship with a man. You must let the man prove himself and not deprive him of the initiative.

Any of our dreams and desires also involve waiting. It takes a moment to wish for something, but it takes time for this event to happen. What matters is how you fill your waiting time with anxiety, impatience and fear? Or by faith, the knowledge that it will definitely come to you? A woman receives not through active action, but through the power of her desire and intention. It is important not to fuss, not to worry, waiting for the result, and the main thing is not to give up the desire, it is important to wait.

Everything comes at the right time.

This is the letter I received from one of the Women’s School participants:

“The mood has changed: from the attitude of “I will succeed, and my dreams will definitely come true in the near future,” to “Everything has its time,” “Everything I need comes at the right time.” I knew before that not everything depends on me, that there is fate and the will of God. But right now I was able to deeply feel this moment.”

“Everything comes at the right time.” How often do we, women, seize and achieve what we ultimately don’t need, and break our female destiny. I would add that what you have at the moment is the best. From here, from this point that at the moment you have the best, a woman must intend and wait. And it’s natural to receive. FEMALE ENERGY is very strong. The main thing is not to waste it on unnecessary movements and disappointments.

It is this internal position that will help make waiting a natural and painless state and help cope with uncertainty and lack of guarantees.

The main thing is not to get worried, start doing other things. With pleasure. Everything will come at the right time.

How to learn to wait?

You need to learn to slow down, calm down and relax.

The parsley has already sprouted

Anything helps you calm down and relax. A natural state of meditation and abstraction from problems begins. Handicraft helps better than anything else to cope with anxiety and internal tension, and get out of stress.

This is exactly how a woman used to wait for her betrothed in noble families while doing needlework.

Waiting is a special female state in which a woman trusts herself and the world.

When we have done everything, planted the seeds, we need to calm down and wait for the harvest.

And let the waiting time be filled with inner meaning and activities that you enjoy. Just continue to live with pleasure. And the event that you are waiting for will definitely happen, and you will meet it, fulfilled and happy.

ATTENTION! The material is protected by Copyright Law. Any use of this material (publication, quoting, reprinting) is NOT PERMITTED without the written consent of the author. For questions regarding the publication of this material, please contact: [email protected]

Tatyana Dzutseva

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Hello, dear editors of the magazine “Heir”. I read the first two issues and thought that the magazine was unlikely to leave young people indifferent, and would most likely make them think about a lot. That’s why I decided to address your readers from the pages of your magazine, especially those who are not yet 23 (somehow, it seems to me, by this time the “adolescent age” usually ends). In one of Richard Bach’s books there is a phrase about youth: “It’s unclear how we survived at this age.” And here I deeply agree with him, because I well remember my recent walks on the razor’s edge. If you consider it possible and publish my letter, I will be very grateful to you.

I will not talk about sin, because it is difficult to think about eternity when it seems that if you do not immediately, without leaving your place, empty the mysterious bottle with the inscription on the label “My Life”, then it will be snatched from your hands and it will go to someone something else. I just want to say (and this is from personal experience) that most of us, after a couple of steps, around the corner, a revelation usually awaits: There, further, is also my life! And it’s this immediate turn that I wanted to talk about.

I think that most girls sooner or later hear from their mothers something like “Make sure you don’t do anything stupid!” Some even explain why. But among these explanations, which in general boil down to the fact that “from a young age, your whole life will go awry,” how often can you hear the simple and understandable to every girl, “Wait for your loved one”?

For some reason my mother didn’t tell me this (although she had every right to do so - she waited). We must give her credit: she tried to warn me, but with some alien, official words that did not sink into my soul and were quickly forgotten.

And now I look at my growing daughter and think: what will I tell her? "Wait for your loved one." Not because I have the right to do so. But because I’ve seen enough of the tears and pain of those who didn’t get it.

My school friend (a girl who was far from flighty and always dreamed of a prince) at the age of 19 suddenly decided that she had nothing to wait or lose, and started an obviously hopeless affair with some married man... And two months later she met her future husband. He, of course, didn’t reproach her with a word, but how offended she was!

And how many bitter examples there are among other close friends! Some “accidental” - very light and unobtrusive - romance “suddenly” ends in pregnancy (“suddenly” - because it seems that this could happen to anyone, but not to you!!!) And when circumstances have already made you think about All this is deeper, you suddenly find yourself faced with the fact that the answer to the question “Can I live my whole life with this man?” Well, not affirmative at all. And just as unassertive - to the question “Does this man have the right to be the father of my child?” And then it becomes clear that you should have asked questions a little earlier, but now that’s it, it’s over - a monstrous mistake has been made. And the worst thing is that often, instead of feeling joy from the knowledge of the onset of motherhood, a woman feels the breath of death nearby (perhaps because the fate of an inopportunely conceived baby is decided instantly and irrevocably). And this icy breath at one moment burns out in the soul of a failed mother a huge field of future love - for a husband she has not yet met, for her unborn children. And when all this comes (if you are lucky), then this remaining pathetic scrap of love is not enough for those closest to you. And then they suffer, dragging it, like a short blanket, from one to another...

But it's not just about the girls. Guys often don't wait either. They get married without figuring it out, because “the time has come” or because a friend is already pregnant and it’s somehow unmanly to ruin the relationship. And then several years pass, and - here it is, a meeting! You look at this new couple and think: “It’s really amazing how they suit each other, and even look alike, like brother and sister,” and you don’t know what to say to them. All that’s on the tip of your tongue is: “You guys are late for this meeting. We should have waited for each other... And now with your happiness you will cause pain to so many people...” Because there is more than one child in the family, and the wife gave her best years to her husband, etc., etc.

In general, I just want to add that you should not rush to “drink to the dregs” your youth. It will seem to you that you are drinking and enjoying its taste, but it will turn out that you poured it into someone else’s glasses (so illegible!). No way! Let the best part of it go to your dearest person who you will definitely meet.

Your feedback

Of course, there is no clear answer to this. I am now 36. Yes, I was looking and waiting for the only one - I did not allow any romances or bed. At the age of 21, I already had a permanent job, and at the same time I was finishing university, i.e. had the opportunity to financially provide for his family. I wouldn’t say that outwardly he didn’t look like an ordinary guy, a man, a former athlete, i.e. I was active and my height and weight were all normal (~180/85). I was looking for my man once and for all. He was brought up that way, he didn’t want to hurt anyone in case of a mistake - like “he screwed up and left.” I searched very actively, made a lot of acquaintances - on the street, on the Internet, etc., and, of course, I was also embarrassed to often approach the girl I liked. I met her only at 28 years old, the same age. It is foolish, of course, to count on the fact that she also unwaveringly waited for her man... she had a relationship and marriage. But it hurts me that I ended up with my first and only one, not the first and only! I understand with my mind that everyone can make mistakes, life was not going well, I also wanted happiness, perhaps I thought that I had already found my person and I could move on. But... In general, everything has its time. I couldn't find it earlier. Life is a complicated thing. But still, you need to try to somehow understand the person as early as possible whether you are on the right path or not, and not bring the matter to bed until you understand this. Then everything will be much more serious. But there are different situations in life, when, indeed, there is no longer room for delay and a woman just needs to give birth. Therefore, young people, be more careful in your relationships! Look for someone who is reliable - your person. Of course, no one is safe from mistakes, but you shouldn’t go to great lengths and come what may. This has nothing to do with age, if you have your head in the right place and your requests to your partner are adequate, you can quite easily plan the future together, directly in conversations with each other, without being afraid to speak. Most likely, in these conversations it will be clear who is in front of you. Am I happy now? Happy now! But the thought still haunts me, why didn’t I meet her earlier, when both would have been the first and only?! But this could have been a completely different story...

Sergey, age: 36 / 11/22/2017

I'm 32, I've had two civil marriages, I've "tried" relationships. But I tried them without really recognizing myself, without becoming mature. I won’t write much on the topic of maturity, I’ll tell you something else. Before, I couldn’t even imagine what my own life was all about... And the purpose of life boiled down to meeting HIM. But, already on myself, on my friends, I realized that until you know, love, accept yourself (and this is years), you will not get the same relationship, and you will meet the wrong one. You need to live on your own, develop your talents, and do what you love... Love yourself and your life and be able to live without him happily, interestingly, with respect and love for yourself :) and then you will have something to give to HIM. And don’t wait for someone to come and make you happy, and without a sweetheart, life is not life. Study yourself, it's endlessly interesting! Having become harmonious, interesting, versatile, calm in love and acceptance of yourself and the world, you will meet the same partner. All happiness and love.

Natalya, age: 32 / 03/02/2016

Thank you for an excellent article! She gave me confidence that I was on the right path. I'm 26 and I'm waiting for the only thing. Let this be considered naivety. Society sometimes puts a lot of pressure on us, but we need to listen to ourselves and live life for ourselves. And, of course, don’t forget to work on yourself to be worthy of your future man. In the meantime, I am happy on my own and I see my main task on Earth not at all to create a family, but to spiritual development and creativity. I need a mature, wise and patient person who will understand my complex inner world. Love to all!

tina, age: 26/31.10.2015

I met my “soul mate”, we talked for three years, but I wasn’t “suited” to her. It hurts, but I still love you. I understand with my mind that the chances are zero, but my heart believes. But there was sympathy, and a common worldview, and both were Orthodox, and communicated well... No, friendship did not work out (“no time”), but the acquaintance and communication was good. Sad) Then I stopped communicating, I didn’t stop praying, though. There is no such thing that I won’t be able to love anyone else - I can, and the heart wound will heal, and the Lord will help... But now it just hurts. And who isn’t hurting right now? I can’t understand one thing: is she right or wrong? It seems like you’re right - why force yourself if your heart isn’t on fire, but on the other hand, “no time” is always a lie, but we got along well with each other. Lord, have mercy on us sinners.

Sergey, age: 28 / 06/07/2015

As for attention, I will say that at thirty years old it is already so lonely and bad that even the slightest attention is pleasing. But, alas, it is only with selfish interest (to sleep and get benefits). Therefore, you walk in this icy world and slowly fade away, no longer hoping for anything, accustomed to betrayal and deception.

I'm waiting. I'm already thirty years old. No one even looked after me. It hurts that life is passing by.

Vera Zhukova, age: 30 / 02/11/2015

Everything is written correctly, I agree, we don’t know who awaits us ahead and what awaits us (we can only guess and hope for a bright future). But, if you notice people whose families are not very calm and sweet, we can conclude that everything has its time. First, study, get an education, then look for a normal job that would provide enough income to give birth to a child. And, if you don’t end your life with a person and meet a “True soul mate” - who will not let you mistake yourself that she is yours, you should not be afraid to break up with someone who is not yours (even if a child appears) - because... you need to give birth on time. And true “Love” is met at any time.

Victoria, age: 34 / 12/27/2014

Wait "after the rain on Thursday." It is stupid to bring the practice of life of all people to a common denominator. I’m 40. I wasn’t waiting for anyone, but I wouldn’t have waited either. How does it work out for anyone? Another thing is that there is no need to chase the wind in the field, as young tumbleweeds do.

Dmitry, age: 40 / 12/27/2014

Anna, age: 33 / 03/01/2014

“Guys often don’t wait either. They get married without figuring it out, because “the time has come” or because a friend is already pregnant and it’s somehow unmanly to ruin the relationship. And then a few years pass, and - here it is, a meeting !" Everything is very difficult. And it happens that a girl preserves herself until marriage, waits for true love, and then is legally married to the first man who paid attention to her. And after some time, the understanding comes that this is not quite the same, but it’s too late to change. I am also a supporter of saving yourself until marriage. But I don’t dare to say unequivocally that this is always a guarantee of happiness, and that premarital falls are always a guarantee of an unhappy life in the future.

Maria, age: 33 / 02/13/2014

Wonderful article. And in everything and everyone there is a grain of truth, and their destinies are different. You need to be able to “sit and wait”!!! Yes, exactly to be able to. Live and enjoy life, communicate, get to know men - after all, all this can and should be done, and for this you do not need to have affairs and change partners. Living and enjoying the wait is better and more useful))) And living with the feeling that you have deceived yourself is a betrayal of yourself. It seems to me that here we are not talking about the ideal man who is expected from the assembly line as the highest grade, but about meeting the one from whom everything inside rejoices and freezes. You just have to believe in it!!!))) I wish all those who know how to wait competently great luck and a speedy meeting!))))

Ekaterina, age: 31 / 01/30/2014

I’m 38. I didn’t wait for anyone and I understood one thing: it’s not for me to judge those who, even having messed up, experienced something or tried to experience something. I think the Lord will be more merciful to those who, even if they sinned, lived. And I... No, I didn’t have connections with “strange” men - I didn’t have them at all (although I sincerely believed in my first and last love and blossomed, grew beautiful, glowed from the very expectation). And now gynecologists scold me like a stupid girl and are sincerely amazed how anyone can live like this. And I myself don’t know what I did wrong and why everything turned out this way, but so much pain and resentment have accumulated in me that I will be more sinful than those who did not maintain chastity and did not wait for “the one thing,” but at least gained life experience and became mothers. This is not a guide to action for girls (everyone chooses for themselves) who are faced with a choice, this is just an example of my unfulfilled life, an example of the fact that “following the rules” is not always a guarantee of happiness: everything is much more complicated... I agree with the comment for 04/25/13. from Natalia.

Mariani, age: 38 / 01/01/2014

Now, following this “ideology” you can wait for your loved one until your gray hairs or not wait at all, but no one changed the laws of nature, I only met my half at 33, before that there were unsuccessful romances, but they taught me to value true relationships. It is in a relationship with an “unsuitable” person that we learn from our mistakes, learn, accumulate experience so that we can meet our other half as an intelligent person.

Natalya, age: 35 / 04/25/2013

Believe me, this is very important not only for women, but also for men. I met my soulmate at 23. It's something that came from somewhere above. she is now 25. She didn’t wait until we met for exactly a year. How painful it is to understand this now. This pain cannot be relieved... it breaks out from somewhere deep in the soul, no matter how hard you try to hide it. Girls, think before you do something!

Wanderer, age: 23/24/02/2013

But this is surprisingly good - without unnecessary discussions about “high matters”, on the contrary, intimidation. Although, still, one phrase “wait” is not enough. Because some, because of such an ideology, wait indefinitely, considering people with whom they could be happy “unworthy.” Others, on the contrary, believe that they found it almost immediately, and in the end they are mistaken. So it's important not to just say it. It is important to explain what exactly this “favorite” is.

Crypto, age: 24 / 02/17/2013

Thank you! Indeed, we must take care of ourselves for one thing only and take our time and not be afraid of anything! Everything is God’s will! Life is given to us in order to learn to love, some learn through mistakes, and some simply work on themselves and do not lose heart !Good luck everyone!

Anna, age: 22 / 07.11.2012

I believe that you should wait for just one thing, you shouldn’t start endless casual romances. But all girls should understand one more thing: even when you meet your soul mate, this does not mean that he will be an ideal prince, he will, first of all, be a person with his own weaknesses and shortcomings. There is no need to wait for the perfect person, you just need the person to be yours. The main thing is not to confuse these concepts. Because love is truly a huge work of two people in marriage. O. Wilde wrote correctly: “Why can’t you women love us as we are, with all our shortcomings? Why do you put us on a pedestal? We all have feet of clay, both women and men ; but a man loves a woman, knowing all her weaknesses, all her quirks and imperfections - and, perhaps, it is for them that he loves her most of all. And this is right. Because it is not he who needs love who is strong, but the one who is weak. When we hurt ourselves or others hurt us, then love must come and heal our wounds. Otherwise, what is love for? True love forgives all crimes, except crimes against love. It sanctifies every life, except life without love.<...>You think you are making an ideal out of us. And you are only creating false idols for yourself.<...>Let women not make an ideal out of us! Let them not erect altars to us and let us not kneel before them! Otherwise, they will destroy many more human lives!" You just need to think carefully before getting married. For me, marriage is once and for life. And although at the beginning of the relationship everything seems wonderful, the main thing is not to lose your love after the wedding ", don't break down, but work on your relationships every day. You need to take care of your feelings and your marriage. So that no one suffers later. Thus, I wish everyone to meet their person!

Victoria, age: 22 / 10/10/2012

I think that everyone is given a different amount of labor in love - for some to wait for their one and only, for others to turn a “casual romance” into a strong family. And for some - to love in a non-family, metaphysical sense. To each his own cup. How do you know which one is yours? What can you personally do, should you humbly wait and trust in God’s help (that he will send the only one) or act on your own (actively get to know each other and choose)? Waiting for a prince is wonderful and noble, but up to a certain point. There are spiritually sublime categories, and there are, excuse me, material and physiological. A woman’s childbearing age, to put it mildly, is not endless. You can wait until the only one is no longer really needed. It is good and correct to believe in fairy tales about princes, ships with scarlet sails and God-ordained halves until the age of 22 - so that the young lady matures in purity and chastity as a future mother and pious wife, receives an education and gains other useful skills. And then you need to decide - honestly and clearly - what you really want and can do in this life and start working. Finding a husband, starting a family is work: creative, sometimes monotonous, sometimes disgusting, sometimes pleasant work. There are mistakes and failures in work, but success is achieved by those who know how to analyze them and learn from them. Any work must be carried out systematically and in a timely manner, and the results must be subject to adequate analysis. I think that if you live in abstract expectations of some “other half”, nothing good will come of it. No one will come on a beautiful frosty morning and ring your doorbell with a huge bouquet of white roses. I'm not talking about promiscuity and endless parties. There must be rationality in everything. But if time passes, and there is still no “one”, then you need to decide what you really want. If it’s a family, then make “the only one” out of a completely “ordinary” one. To do this, you may just have to slightly adjust yourself, so beautiful and so perfect.

Lemniskata, age: 24/29/07/2012

But I agree with Olga. True love is the continuous work of two people married all their lives... My soul mate is not mine, this is all more about falling in love. Of course, if you pray to God to point out the one and only, then maybe it’s worth it. And so - love is work.

Ksenia, age: 20 / 01/06/2012

Thank you for the article! Once again, my hope for happiness and finding a soulmate has strengthened... I am 23 years old.

Evgeniya, age: 23 / 06/06/2011

You can wait your whole life like this... the result will be even worse.

Yuri, age: 21 / 03/18/2011

I think there is no need to wait for any mythical “soul mate” and “prince charming”. If you want to love, love, and it doesn’t matter who, the main thing is sincerely and all your life. Otherwise, you won’t be able to wait for a “worthy” one for a long time. Because it’s easier to think that this is not “the one” than to do the difficult work of love.

Olenka, age: 29 / 29.11.2010

Thank you for the article. I really want to believe that this will happen. I’m 33. Sometimes it seems like maybe I missed my happiness just like that...

Lyudmila, age: 33 / 08/25/2010

Thank you Irina! Now I know exactly what to tell my daughter when she starts to grow up and romance begins to occupy an increasingly larger place in her life. Now she is only 3 years old, but like every mother, I want her happiness. And I am sure that your advice will help us a lot. THANK YOU!

Nicole_Toronto, age: 39 / 07/03/2010

Unfortunately, no one can give guarantees that you will wait :(

Beaver, age: 20 / 07/11/2009

Dmitry, age: 24 / 07/02/2009

oh, to be honest, I almost cried.))) I am 26 years old. She seems young, but she already wants a family and children. And something keeps stopping me from starting some kind of casual romance. Maybe I’ll really wait for my one and only.

Elena, age: 26 / 05/19/2009

Thank you, Irina! Wonderful what you wrote. And I really want to believe in it. But I’m already 31, and he’s not there and isn’t, and whether he will be is unknown...

Natalya, age: 31 / 09.11.2008

Thank you. What a great article. I am 33, 2 children, divorced, married to an unloved person. It all ended badly. And everything that is written in the article is true.

Marina Zelenaya, age: 33 / 10.26.2008