Aggression in adolescence. Aggressive teenager recommendations to parents

In order to understand the problem of aggressive behavior of adolescents and develop ways to solve it, first of all, you need to understand why, under the influence of what factors it arises. So to speak, find the reasons for this phenomenon.

This chapter of our research will be devoted to the search for the causes of adolescent aggressiveness.

A person is not from birth an egoist or an altruist, brave or cowardly, modest or boastful. It all depends on the environment in which the personality develops. In the process of personality development, certain personality qualities arise. They can be both socially useful and socially harmful.

At each age stage of development, a person occupies a certain position in the system of social relations. Each age stage is characterized by its own requirements for a person and determines the range of his rights and responsibilities. Each age is characterized by its own “social development situation”, i.e. a certain relationship between the conditions of the social environment and the internal conditions of personality formation.

In adolescence, from 11 to 15 years of age, a person experiences a number of biological changes - puberty and psychological - the appearance of a large number of new formations related to self-awareness and the emotional sphere.

The teenager, under the influence of these changes, begins to feel like an adult. He feels like an equal member of society, family, class. He has an internal conflict between increased self-awareness and self-esteem, the desire to transform the world around him, on the one hand, and the inability to actually realize the needs that have arisen, on the other. He strives to realize himself as an individual, but due to a lack of knowledge and life experience, he sometimes faces the harsh truth of life. On the way to achieving their goals, set for themselves under the influence of a childishly naive worldview, but taken quite seriously by the teenager. He encounters obstacles to overcome, which require adult decisions to be made, and responsibility to be assumed, for which the young man is not yet ready due to his physical, moral and psychological development.

This is the root of the problem we are talking about. In adolescence, there is increased aggressiveness and conflict, which manifests itself both in the family and at school.

The teenager is characterized by open protesting behavior, emotional and neuropsychic instability, unwillingness to put up with excessive adult care and the injustice of the world, shyness and youthful maximalism. All this causes concern for parents and teachers.

The desire to feel unique, different from others, and at the same time identifying oneself with adults is an important psychological feature of young people in this period of life.

A young man in adolescence begins to make plans for his future adult life, looking for a use for his energy. His views on life are largely unrealistic and factual, but they are important to the teenager and he jealously protects them. Parents, teachers or just adults familiar to the teenager. And even more “advanced” peers, from the height of their life experience, try to guide the teenager “on the true path” and impose their own, in their opinion, correct opinion. But at the same time, they often forget that they themselves were like this, and do not take into account the teenager’s age-related abilities and his personal opinion. By doing this, they not only do not solve the problem, but make the situation even worse. The “teachings” of adults provoke a reaction of protest from the teenager. As a consequence, this leads to alienation between generations. Between adults and teenagers, the already weak connection during this period is broken, mutual understanding disappears.

The teenager is going through a crisis that involves overcoming the child’s entry into adult society. The difficulty of overcoming this path depends on how much the child has learned the rules and moral values of society, and how close his personal moral values are to public ones. By the way, this crisis can be aggravated by the fact that a child being raised in one social environment during adolescence finds himself in a different social environment with different moral values. In this case, the internal conflict of the individual can deepen even more and lead to inadequate consequences. In this regard, I would like to say, looking ahead a little, that our modern education system, as a relic of a totalitarian society, is still based on violence, fear and suppression of the individual. Although there are some positive changes. We are not talking about kindergartens, schools, secondary and higher educational institutions, where, on the contrary, excessive liberalism has recently been observed. We want to touch on the so-called correctional labor institutions, which, even with a stretch, are difficult to call such. Tell me, which of the teenagers who ended up in a children's educational colony came out of there with their souls not crippled to one degree or another? Once, having fallen into the “clutches” of the criminal justice system, a teenager is unlikely to ever become a normal, harmonious person, unless outwardly he follows social norms. But the internal protest will persist throughout your life. And it depends only on the characteristics of the individual’s character whether this protest will break out.

Much in the development of a teenager’s personality depends on the situation in the family - the social sphere in which he lives and is raised.

The so-called “dysfunctional” family, leading an antisocial lifestyle, raises a new personality - their child - accordingly. Without seeing parental affection, being in an eternal half-starved state, surrounded by hungover adults, and at the same time, experiencing prejudiced attitude from more “prosperous” peers and even some morally and intellectually limited adults, such a child will inevitably come to the understanding that he is surrounded by enemies. As a result, having reached adolescence, having felt strength, he will direct his aggression towards “clean and white” peers from prosperous families, seeing in all of them, without exception, his former offenders. And, in fact, this teenager is not to blame, but the social environment in which he grew up is to blame. Hungry, falling asleep on a dirty bed to the accompaniment of the drunken screams of his parents, experiencing the mocking glances of his classmates because his clothes were not from a fashion store, and often not the freshest. Such a child first experiences a feeling of bitter resentment and envy towards his more successful peers, and then this feeling is more likely to degenerate into a feeling of hatred.

Aggression, as a protective measure, is the explanation for the fact that a group of ragamuffin teenagers beat up a decently dressed young man buying expensive cigarettes at a kiosk. They cannot afford this luxury and compensate by humiliating the one who has this opportunity.

But the above does not mean that aggressive behavior is a product of the lower social classes. Teenagers from quite prosperous and even wealthy families have recently been increasingly seen in acts of aggression. Moreover, unlike teenagers from the bottom of society, they do this not out of feelings of resentment or hunger, but for the sake of entertainment, which further aggravates the problem. For example, among the “golden youth” it has become fashionable to organize a hunt for homeless people, which often ends in real murder. This phenomenon also has its psychological roots. People say about such young men: “They are crazy.” But in reality, the roots lie deeper, as a rule, in wealthy families belonging to the elite of society, parents try to keep their children within cruel limits, strictly regulate their lives: they place them in prestigious educational institutions, tell them what sports to play or who to be friends with. In this case, the child’s opinion is not taken into account - he must correspond to his social position, social status. Under the influence of these restrictions, the child begins to protest against the conditions in which he lives. He strives for freedom. As a result, in adolescence, this protest breaks out, and teenagers leave the influence of their parents and unite into informal groups where they find a psychologically comfortable environment for themselves. It’s good if these associations are positive in nature and bring real benefits, if not to society, then at least to the members of the association themselves, for example, volunteer teams to raise funds for the hungry in Africa, sports teams, musical groups, etc. But there are destructive associations from completely harmless ones that replaced the punks and hippies of the end of the last century, the Emu and Goths of our days, to the extremely aggressive fighters for the purity of the race, skinheads and hunters of the homeless.

A teenager, due to his age, almost always strives to accomplish a feat. Therefore, how aggressively members of youth associations will behave largely depends on the position of the leader of this group. As a rule, the leader of an association is slightly older than the main contingent and has certain life experience and beliefs. He has authority among others, he can inspire his followers both to green the streets and to exterminate drunks, homeless people, and Asians. In both cases, he can convince his followers that their work will make the air in the city cleaner. In both cases, they will get down to business with enthusiasm. The only difference is that in the first case, the souls of teenagers will become purer and they themselves will be kinder and will benefit not only themselves, but also other people, and in the second, one villain, under a plausible pretext, will give birth to a dozen others like themselves.

In addition to the above examples, the media, videos and computer games also influence a child’s personality. The influence of the latter has been acutely felt lately. A teenager, sitting down at the computer and launching another “shooter”, is immersed in virtual reality, thoroughly saturated with aggression. His fragile psyche is subjected to a colossal attack, his worldview changes. It gets to the point where a person goes crazy and stops distinguishing between real and virtual reality. Thinking that he, like a computer hero, has several lives, and the people around him are monsters from the virtual world, he commits such actions that, upon coming to his senses, he is horrified by what he has done, not believing in the reality of what is happening. The same consequences can occur under the influence of action films, horror films and the constant leaking of information about terrorist attacks and other acts of violence into the mass consciousness through television news.

Speaking about teenage aggression, it should be said that the aggressiveness of boys and girls of high school age differs in some fundamental ways. As a rule, these basics are the same as for adults of a certain gender.

Teenage boys experience aggression in interpersonal relationships such as school, sports, personal threats, and situations of alcohol intoxication.

Teenage girls react more violently to underestimation of their external and spiritual abilities, ingratitude, and psychological infringement

The physical perception of teenage boys is more acute; it is more difficult for them to hide visible physical defects, which can become the cause of aggression.

I would like to draw attention to such an important factor that serves as one of the reasons for instilling aggression in adolescents. This is domestic violence. This type of violence began to attract public attention only in the last 30-35 years. Despite the fact that this phenomenon has been a hidden epidemic for many years. Statistics show that a third of all murders committed are committed by relatives of the victims.

Domestic violence, as a means of controlling one family member over the rest, is a disease of families with very different social status and financial situation.

There are several types of domestic violence.

Physical - the use of force to inflict bodily harm of varying severity, up to and including murder. This includes the notorious, widespread punishment of a child with a belt. There is even a widespread belief that if a person is not well-mannered, then he was not “flogged” enough in childhood.

Verbal - quarrel, swearing, curses, insults and threats.

Mental - the use of feelings (indifference), humiliation, insult of humiliations that have value for the victim, venting anger on weaker family members (most often children), the cause of which is problems at work, in a team, a quarrel with another family member.

Sexual - forcing a person into a variety of sexual relationships against his will.

Economic - deprivation of economic independence.

Each type of violence is equally capable of causing pain to the victim, so it is impossible to separate them by the strength of the impact.

It is traditionally believed that women suffer the most from domestic violence. There are a number of programs, both in our country and abroad, aimed at helping women. However, studies conducted by experts have shown that the main victims of violence are children. Aggressive relationships between spouses will inevitably affect their children.

A child who sees his father beating his mother (or worse, vice versa) inevitably receives psychological trauma. Subsequently, he can easily reproduce similar actions in his family, without experiencing any remorse. The same is true if violent methods were used in raising a child, with or without reason. This will affect his future children.

In this regard, it must be remembered that attempts to eliminate a child’s unwanted behavior through physical punishment can give the opposite result:

Firstly, parents who punish in this way become an example of aggressive behavior.

Second, children who are frequently punished will tend to avoid or resist their parents.

Third, if punishment is too exciting or upsetting, children may repress the reason for the punishment and unconsciously resist learning the rules of socially acceptable behavior. (Although, there is an opinion that the use of rods at the beginning of the 20th century had a positive educational effect).

Fear of punishment may lead children to believe that aggressive behavior can be displayed in places where adults cannot see it without it becoming known. This outward hiding of negative behavior actually makes the problem worse.

On the other hand, during the education process it is not possible to completely abandon the use of punishment. But it must be moderate and adequate to the offense committed.

A child who is given too little attention, parental love and maternal affection. One who is given too much freedom and for whom few restrictions are placed on the manifestation of negative, aggressive behavior is likely to grow up to be aggressive.

To summarize what has been said, we note that the main personality traits of a teenager are:

Emotional instability;

Shyness;

Youthful maximalism;

Lack of sense of objective reality;

Increased anxiety;

The desire for independence is not supported by physical and mental abilities;

Increased sensitivity;

Tearfulness (mainly in girls);

Contradiction in thoughts and actions;

Rebellious spirit of behavior

in addition, they can, to one degree or another, give rise to another trait - teenage aggressiveness.

Aggression as a personal characteristic is associated with a complex of psychological qualities and properties of adolescents:

1. At this time, the teenager is developing self-esteem. But often there is a discrepancy between the aspirations of a teenager, the assertion of oneself as an individual and the position of a child, schoolchild, dependent on the will of an adult, causing a deepening crisis of self-esteem. This results in rejection of adult assessments, regardless of their correctness.

2. Dissatisfaction with needs is reflected, in particular, in adolescents’ craving for intimate-personal and spontaneous-group communication with peers. In the process of spontaneous group communication, aggression, cruelty, etc. become stable in nature (relationships in a random group are not so important and aggressiveness in a group is a way of satisfaction in adulthood).

3. In adolescence, communication becomes the leading activity. One of the most important manifestations of adolescents’ communicative behavior is the desire to stand out, to distinguish themselves at any cost, often expressed in aggression.

4. Puberty is a hormonal explosion (non-synchronous development of the body), affects the psyche (becomes unstable) and self-awareness.

So, having examined some features of adolescence, we summarize that insufficient ability to adapt to external conditions, various conflicts and extreme situations, gullibility and increased suggestibility, as well as vulnerability, insufficient selectivity of behavior can lead to the development of violent behavior (aggression, etc.) .

In addition, the formation of the personality of children and adolescents is influenced by a number of external factors: family, television, peers, etc. And if this influence is negative, then aggression worsens.

If aggressive behavior is accepted in the family, then this, as a rule, reinforces the child’s aggressive behavior in relationships with peers. Children and adolescents can also learn aggressive behavior from their peers. There is a point of view that television is one of the very serious reasons influencing aggressive behavior: watching violence provokes general excitement and charges a person’s behavior with negative energy, removes prohibitions on aggressive behavior, etc.

Aggression in the personal characteristics of adolescents is formed mainly as a form of protest against the misunderstanding of adults, due to dissatisfaction with their position in society, which is also manifested in corresponding behavior. At the same time, the development of a teenager’s aggressiveness can also be influenced by the natural characteristics of his temperament, for example, excitability and strength of emotions, which contribute to the formation of character traits such as hot temper, irritability, and inability to restrain oneself. One of the outlets for adolescent aggression is crime. Therefore, the prevention of aggressive behavior in adolescents is relevant and is determined by the personal characteristics of this age. In connection with this, recently works by psychologists have begun to appear on working with schoolchildren with deviant behavior and children at risk.

A teenager strives to grow up faster, but emotionally remains a child. Therefore, during this period, it is especially important for parents to observe a fine line: treat him like an adult, but also not forget to show feelings and care.

Aggression in adolescence is most likely not an attack, but a defensive reaction to actions directed against him. Often all these sensations are exaggerated due to excessive emotionality and vulnerability.

It is worth recognizing that it is quite difficult for parents to learn how to respond correctly to their child’s behavior. They not only turn out to be psychologically unprepared, but are completely unable to cope with a host of everyday problems. But, as they say: “forewarned is forearmed,” so we have identified the most common causes of teenage aggression and will give some tips on how to deal with it.

Causes of teenage aggression

There are several types of causes of aggression in adolescents: family, personal and situational.

Family causes of aggression

Not every family cultivates the right approach to raising children. This is undoubtedly a minus for parents, but they are also dependent on many factors and are often unable to restrain and control themselves. In any case, you need to know what parental behavior can lead to aggression in children during adolescence:

Indifference and hostility towards the child
Rejection (unexpected child), lack of love and its manifestations
Excessive control and guardianship
Indifference to the life of a teenager
Lack of emotional connection
Humiliation and insult, especially public
Suppression of the child’s emotions and any manifestations of independence

Personal reasons

These reasons can arise either on their own or as a consequence of family circumstances and environmental influences:

Fear, expectation of the worst
Uncertainty about security
Hormonal imbalance due to puberty
Irritability and resentment as a result of lack of self-confidence
Feeling guilty about something
Feeling lonely

Situational reasons

Most often associated with specific situations that take place in the life of a teenager at a specific period of time:

Fatigue as a result of physical and mental stress
Disease
Wrong diet
Excessive passion for computer games
Local unpleasant situations in the family

Ways to combat teenage aggression?

It is worth recognizing that there is no single solution to this problem. First of all, it is necessary to determine what could have caused aggressive behavior in a teenager. Based on this, you will be able to determine what needs to be changed in your behavior and the child’s environment.

Remember, your main task as parents is to minimize manifestations of aggression, which means to provide the most comfortable conditions for him or to change your parenting style.

Most often, parents become the cause of aggression in a child, so you should start by educating yourself:

Give the teenager the opportunity to decide whether to take the initiative or take his interests into account in everything.
Eliminate aggression in the family. Analyze your relationship with your other half for aggressive attacks.
Redirect teenage aggression into a useful direction, for example, into sports.
Talk to your child often as a friend. Don't tell people what to do, take on the role of a wise mentor who advises but does not judge.
Praise your child often, this will instill confidence in him.
Respect his choice, even if it seems wrong to you.

A teenager does not become aggressive out of his own free will. Remember that you are your child's role model. It’s not for nothing that they say: “Don’t raise children, educate yourself.” If you have missed the moment and admit that you are unable to cope on your own, consult a psychologist.

Every year we see more and more aggressive behavior among teenagers. This problem is acute in society. Every parent tries to protect their child from negative influences from the very first days of life. After all, if this is not done, then with the onset of adolescence, aggressive behavior on the part of the child will immediately destroy his psychological state. To prevent this from happening, prevention of such behavior among adolescents should be mandatory at school and at home. A test will help check its presence.

The word “aggression” itself came into our speech from Latin. Translated as "attack". It is not surprising that modern society often uses this word in its everyday speech. Unfortunately, today aggressive and... Therefore, it is not surprising that psychologists are increasingly observing anger in the behavior of schoolchildren. Prevention of this condition is necessary to avoid the development of aggressive behavior in adolescents.

According to psychologists, aggressive behavior is based on causing intentional harm to another person. If signs of such functioning appear without a reason, then many experts agree that such a person suffers from an imbalance of hormones in the body or from Alzheimer's disease.

If the child does not have any medical prescriptions that would justify teenage aggression, then one of the reasons for such an action may be protest. It is through the method of protest that the child tries to defend his point of view, to assert himself as an individual. Protest can be expressed in refusal to comply with established rules and norms of behavior both at school and at home. In addition, aggression can be caused by the influence of bad company, social or economic inequality. But whatever the reason for aggressive behavior, the student’s parents should not ignore the problem. What to do with it? The advice of a specialist and the test recommended by him will help to determine the true cause of the problem.

As soon as constant irritation begins to clearly manifest itself in a child, parents and teachers need to join forces. Solving a problem requires meaningful actions; fighting hostility can lead to even more disastrous results. If you diagnose a teenager’s aggression in time, and most importantly, immediately begin to correct it, then you can safely hope for a good result.

The manifestation of bitterness is obvious. The main thing is that such deviation can be fought, it must be done. Modern psychiatry has very successful methods of such struggle. In order for them to be effective, it is necessary to establish as quickly as possible the main cause of this behavior. As soon as this happens, either drug treatment is immediately prescribed, or a visit to a psychologist will be required for a confidential conversation several times a week. It is worth remembering that it is best to eliminate the problem at an early age, since during adolescence it becomes uncontrollable.

What are the causes of aggressive behavior in a child?

Compared to several decades ago, today the problem of teenage aggression is more pressing. According to psychological research over the past few years, aggression in adolescence has been developing at high speed. This happens all over the world, despite the level of prosperity in a particular region.

Teenage aggression depends on. If there is an unfavorable atmosphere in relations between family members, this has a strong impact on the child’s psyche.

Today the media actively promote aggression, cruelty, and violence. At the same time, modern cinema does not refute this, but, on the contrary, supports it. All this information has a significant impact on the child’s psyche. That is why teenagers conclude that with the help of aggression they can assert themselves as individuals and rise in the eyes of their peers.

Psychologists from general education institutions note that aggressive behavior is observed not only among children in middle and high school, but also among children in primary school. Medical institutions specializing in psychological disorders now have a large flow of patients. This can be explained by the fact that 20 years ago, the aggressive behavior of a schoolchild was attributed to inattention to him. It has now been scientifically recognized that aggression in children and adolescents is a psychiatric disease that requires a certain type of treatment.

What are the reasons for irritation in teenagers?

The main reason for the emergence of an aggressive form of action, according to psychologists, is drawing attention to one’s personality. Aggression is a kind of cry for help. As a rule, under the guise of aggression, the child tries to hide all his internal complexes.

A teenager may become irritable from lack of attention.

Whatever the signs of anger, they must be eradicated immediately. The causes of teenage aggressive behavior are:

crisis that occurs at this age;
bad environment in the society in which the child is located;
complexes that appear when a teenager’s views do not correspond with his peers;
genetic inheritance;
hormonal imbalances in the body;
bad habits associated with the use of alcohol or drugs.

Manifestation of hostility in a child and its causes

Teenage aggression in some cases may be based on social cues. That is, if a girl shows aggression when communicating with a young man, then he may regard this as a call to use physical force.

During psychological testing of adolescents, the following types of aggression were identified:

aggression using physical force;
indirect aggression;
aggression through the influence of verbal communication;
negative attitude;
touchy behavior;
mistrust.

Correcting aggressive behavior in adolescents is not an easy task. It is especially difficult to deal with the anger of boys, since in them it manifests itself much more and more often than in girls. Adolescent aggressiveness in most cases depends precisely on the fact that the child receives too little love, care and attention from his parents. A family that lives by distrust of each other, mutual insults and frequent humiliation is raising a socially inadapted child. It is very difficult for such a student to go through the period of adaptation at school and establish communication with peers. As a rule, a “disliked” teenager tries to convey an aggressive form of action to society.

The form of aggression for boys and girls has significant differences. If for girls the use of verbal irritability is enough for their own satisfaction, then for boys the use of physical force seems to be the norm. This division of forms of aggressive behavior for adolescents begins during the transition period (at the age of 14-15 years).

Psychological characteristics of a schoolchild

Adolescence can be called a critical period in the life of absolutely every person. At this time, the teenager begins to change his psychological attitude towards life. And puberty has a significant impact on the functioning of hormones. - this is a time of contradictions with the whole world. He sees enemies in people who try to control the child during this period. This applies to both teachers and parents. Aggression in adolescence has its own psychological characteristics. They depend on what place the aggressive teenager occupies in society and what socio-economic status he has.

Psychologists distinguish 2 concepts “aggression” and “aggressiveness”. Adolescent aggression is a psychological condition that can be corrected. But aggressiveness, in turn, is a character trait that can only be broken at a young age. But this is almost impossible to do, since during this period it is very difficult to identify aggressiveness. If you still managed to do this, then by breaking the child’s character, you can “destroy” him as a person. Therefore, correcting the aggressive behavior of adolescents requires a competent approach to the problem and certain efforts.

Temporal differences in puberty between girls and boys exist. Therefore, the psychological characteristics of their aggression also differ.

Aggressive functioning and its forms

Aggression in adolescents is divided into verbal and physical forms.

The verbal form of irritability is inherent in the behavior of girls. They can easily humiliate and insult their opponent verbally. Verbal attacks can be either direct or indirect. A form of anger with the use of physical violence is more often. Boys use direct physical hostility to physically humiliate them. If a teenager causes only moral damage to the object of his bullying, then in this case he resorts to indirect physical aggression.

The most dangerous form of aggression is real. When used, the teenager causes serious physical injury.

Who and how can diagnose aggression in a teenager

Only a specialist can identify aggressive behavior in a teenager. This type of diagnosis is carried out by psychologists or psychotherapists. The teenager only needs to pass a certain test. Thanks to this method, it is possible to almost accurately determine whether aggression in a child’s behavior really needs to be corrected or whether he is experiencing mood swings at the hormonal level.

As practice shows, the teenager categorically refuses to admit that his behavior is excessively insolent. He expresses his protest by refusing to communicate with a psychologist, and even more so by refusing to take tests. Diagnosis of aggressiveness cannot be done by force, so the specialist and parents need to find the right words for the teenager to make him want to take the test.

The subconscious of any schoolchild of this age does not want to accept the morals established by society, he wants to establish his own rules. During this period, the older generation is obliged to find the right ways of approach, to engage in the prevention of aggressive behavior of adolescents, and not to impose their point of view.

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Psychology and pedagogy

Aggression is a manifestation of disturbances in the emotional sphere, a failure in the child’s psychological defense. Which scenario for overcoming this behavior should you choose? How to help a child “fight back” in conflict situations, and what are the causes of aggression? Let's figure it out together.

Aggression can be a prominent symptom of mental illness or disorder. But in this article we consider aggression as a violation of the emotional sphere, the projection of incorrect scenarios or a reaction to an invasion of personal space - i.e. as psychological protection. In this case, teachers and parents can take independent steps without turning to the help of psychologists.

Where does aggression come from?

I would like to remind you that in adolescence, starting from the early teens (10-11 years old), successful communication with peers is placed by the teenager “at the top of the pyramid.” Any event is perceived by him in connection with his own positions of success or failure. Hence, by the way, the real dependence on likes on Instagram and the desire to gain as many friends as possible on VKontakte. Doubts about their success cause the child to experience severe discomfort, lead to a decrease in self-esteem and can manifest itself in symptoms of nervousness and anxiety.

We are not talking about simply unsociable children or introverts, we are talking about maladjustment that is painful for the child himself.

The relationships that develop in a peer group become a model of behavior for a child - an image that he projects onto himself. For a schoolchild (as for an adult, let’s be honest), it is important to take a status or “own” place in life and in the team. The difficulties of a 10-year-old child who finds himself “on the sidelines” can affect his success in adult life. Inadequate self-esteem and an attempt to compensate for inattention and the famous “ignor” from others leads to aggressiveness.

Types of aggression

Before you take decisive action against an aggressive child, try to understand what type of aggression you are experiencing. As a rule, adults tend to notice only the brightest (first and second) of them.

Physical aggression: constant fights, attempts to fight back physically, bullying
Indirect aggression: verbal bullying, cruel jokes, gossip: “Do you know that fat cow Lyudka from 6 “b”? Let's tell the class teacher that she dropped the magazine in the bucket."
Verbal negativity: impolite gestures, verbal threats “I’ll strangle you, you idiot, I hate you!”, screaming and squealing
Quiet aggression: sabotage, ignoring, negativism. The child pretends that he does not hear or listen to you. When you try to talk to him, he goes into the room and puts on headphones.

“And I’ll hit him in the ear, dad!” Wouldn't it be better to talk?

If a teenager is faced with a choice: discuss a conflict situation with the “enemy” or immediately give physical resistance - what will he choose? In fact, the chosen model of behavior depends on many parameters: from upbringing to the emotional state at the time of a quarrel.

However, one of the most common reasons for aggression is extremely simple: I hit because I don’t know any other way to react. If the child has no other examples of conflict resolution (he has not seen negotiations in the family, among friends or classmates), and is also in a state of anxiety, as mentioned above, a fight is almost inevitable.

But in vain. The ability to stand up for yourself physically must be in harmony with the ability to resist verbally.

In European schools, famous colleges and universities in foggy London, about which we have heard, there is no life safety. But logic and rhetoric are included in the curriculum from elementary school. It would be fair to argue that we in Russia live in different realities, but this argument is not enough. If a child in the future wants to become a lawyer, entrepreneur, historian, businessman, politician, then in addition to knowledge about behavior in case of fires, he will need the ability to competently conduct a dialogue. Any modern person needs such a skill.

Is the ability to negotiate useful for a teenager?

A child who can truly resolve conflict using logic and arguments rather than fists will earn the respect of their peers. A bully who solves all issues with his fists may be feared, they may fawn over him, but there will be no talk of respect. I repeat, at this age, the quality and success of communication with peers affects self-esteem. If your child is a) interesting, b) speaks competently (and not abstrusely!) c) can solve any problem, then over time people will turn to him for advice. Such authority will have a positive impact on both self-esteem and positioning. It is not necessary to be the most beautiful or the fastest to run; the ability to resolve a controversial situation is a skill that is much more rare, and therefore valuable.

What should parents do if their child shows aggression?

A common case: parents cannot cope with their child’s aggression, and therefore try to solve the problem by suppression. If this method does not produce results, persuasion, regular scandals and simple blackmail are used: “Calm down, or today you will not play the console!”, “If you argue with me again, then forget about going on vacation with a friend ! This model of dealing with a teenager leads nowhere, since straightforward action and attempts to “put pressure” on a child at this age are useless.

Method 1. Give vent to aggression

Aggression is natural. If man had not been aggressive at the time of his appearance on earth, most likely he would not have survived. But in the 21st century we do not need to fight for food and territory, so aggression must be controlled. You must be able to control your physical strength. If this does not happen, then harm is caused not only to others, but also to yourself.
Send your child to a sports section, where they will explain to him that resolving a dispute with his fists is not an option, but the skills of fair fighting and self-defense will be useful to him. Let it be football or athletics, you can safely try martial arts - judo, sambo, karate. They are good because they teach the child not only to master his business, but also his emotions.

In the eighth grade, Sasha was teased as a nerd and an otter because she preferred books and a chess section to smoking behind the school. But when the girl won first the regional mathematics Olympiad, and then the All-Russian Olympiad, the evil attacks of her classmates began to seem like something insignificant to her. “Yes, you are “cool” and “adults,” but to me you are like walking to Paris,” Alexandra rightly thought.

Igor in the tenth year was not accepted by girls because of his acne and stupid bangs. But after he began participating in school productions and performed at a city evening of poets with his poems, his appearance faded into the background. Romantic Igor was much nicer than his classmates trying to be brutal. And there were enough subscribers in his author’s group on VKontakte to feel important (parents, don’t be afraid of social networks if children try to express themselves on them!)

Self-sufficient people are not aggressive, there is no point in fighting for their place in the sun - they have found it.

Method 3. Enroll in public speaking courses or offer literature

Enough has been said in this material about the importance of the ability to conduct reasoned debate. Enroll your teen in a course or give him good literature on this topic to read. Not only Schopenhauer or Povarnin’s book will help, but also simple classics. The heroes of Jack London, Mark Twain, Tolstoy and Arthur Conan Doyle speak simply amazingly. Being sharp-tongued is an advantage these days.

Also think about how it is customary to resolve conflicts in your family, if you are a teacher - in the classroom. Yes, we sit down at the table and carefully discuss the problem with your spouse? In class, do you listen to a student whose opinion differs from the generally accepted one, or do you interrupt with the words: “Nonsense, that’s not what Dostoevsky meant at all”?
It is possible that you are not aware of your own emotions and reactions. We are all human, we all burn out like light bulbs. But our children notice everything. They don't listen to us so much as are watching on us. If the teenager’s aggression was caused by involuntary copying of the matrix of behavior within the family, then an attempt to re-educate only the child will not be successful.

Method 5. Monitor your health

In addition to psychological ones, there are multiple biological causes of aggressive behavior. For example, low heart rate. Observe a teenager: does aggression occur without a reason? If yes, the child often screams, gets angry unmotivated - « Everything really pisses me off!”, and not “Physics pisses me off, I can’t solve the problem!», then, if possible, you should go to the doctor to start a correction program.

The cause of aggression can be increased anxiety. Reduce it in any way so as not to try to get rid of the effect instead of the cause. If your child is very tired at school, is worried about exams, appearance or low popularity, is being bullied or is simply prone to nervousness, then it is worth working on it. The methods can be the simplest: art therapy (

Aggression is motivated destructive behavior that contradicts generally accepted standards of human coexistence, causes physical harm to the animate or inanimate object that is attacked and moral harm to living beings.

Teenage aggression, what is it? Adolescent aggression is a variant of deviant behavior of maturing individuals, in most cases expressed in the form of insults and fights. A certain number of young people tend to think that taking part in a fight or gaining authority in a group through brute physical force is the norm. In addition, this behavior is fueled by the instability of society, numerous interpersonal and group conflicts among adults. Therefore, the bar for aggressiveness is falling, and this behavior is gradually seeping into girl groups. It is important to understand the causes and ways to overcome teenage aggressiveness.

Why does a child become aggressive?

As numerous psychological studies have shown, aggression in adolescence is a consequence of a lack of upbringing in the family, which led to personal deformation, increased anxiety and the formation of stable isolation. Another prerequisite for the development of aggression in adolescents is the presence of a large amount of free time. The reasons for this kind of personal problems may lie in raising a child in a single-parent family, where functional connections are disrupted, or in prosperous families, with overprotection, which also causes loss of connection with the family, aggressiveness and a tendency to vagrancy.

Diagnosis of teenage aggression

The study of adolescent aggressiveness should be carried out using a whole range of techniques in order to avoid mistakes that could cost the teenager and everyone around him dearly in the future. A systematic study of manifestations of aggression in adolescents is carried out using the following methods:

Research of archival data.
Questioning.
Construction of a personality scale.
Assessment of the subject's behavior by surrounding people.
Studying verbal forms of information.
Projective techniques.
Naturalistic and field observation.

How to deal with pathological behavior?

Correction of teenage aggression has some features. For example, the initial stage of this type of work excludes group classes. Not only because the individual approach is more effective, but also because aggressive teenagers in a group inevitably carry out negative consolidation. It is also necessary to simultaneously work with the patient’s family. First of all, intrafamily relationships should be diagnosed to determine the degree of their disharmony. After which it is mandatory to carry out both individual and group psychocorrection. Correction and prevention of aggressive behavior of adolescents is carried out it is much easier if a new circle of hobbies is successfully formed, built on the basis of his preferences and abilities. However, no matter what methods of overcoming this pathological condition are chosen, if it is not possible to productively use the teenager’s time not occupied with studies and hobbies, his return to an asocial environment is inevitable.

Psychologists also note the good effect of problem teenagers engaging in socially approved and recognized activities. The patient who takes part in it feels involved in an important social cause; he begins to occupy a certain social niche, not only among his peers, but also among adults, which he will try to maintain. And since adults begin to perceive a teenager engaged in such activities as an equal, the most favorable conditions are created for the realization of his goals and plans. Social activities enables a teenager to overcome his affective disorder, develop self-awareness and form life priorities. However, this kind of extensive system of activity requires constant adherence to the established order, strict conditions and constant control, otherwise the aggressive teenager will get out of influence. It is worth remembering that this category of children most of all needs adult help and participation, although at the same time they are most rejected by them. And, since most adults do not understand the reasons for this behavior of adolescents, these children receive nothing in their lives except hostility and rejection, becoming even more embittered year after year. Teenage aggression is treatable; numerous exercises have been developed to correct it; if used correctly, you can achieve lasting positive results.

Video: Teenage Aggression