A love story between a teacher and a student. To start. Dmitry Bykov - School of life. Honest book: love - friends - teachers - tin (collection)

One summer, I worked as a conductor on a bus, nothing special and fun, walking all day back and forth, and collecting money from nervous people. On one of the working days, I noticed a young man who looked intently in my direction, and sometimes smiled lightly. He was very sweet, he had bright blue eyes and gorgeous long eyelashes. "Nothing special," I thought. And she continued her “career”)))) the next day I saw him again, and again he looked in my direction, and such a story was repeated every day. Soon I quit (for other reasons), and just started to relax. Friends, night walks, clubs, in short, everything a student needs so that she doesn’t have a sickly rest, and there were no problems with money at that moment. But the fact is that I started to miss that guy, without understanding why ... I didn’t even know his name, and every time looking at his eyes, I wanted to come up, but I couldn’t. Well, that's okay, time goes on, life goes on, I decided that I need to forget. But the fact is that at that time my sister was in storage in one city hospital, and only one bus went here right to the end, the same bus on which I worked. I came to visit my sister, sat down, chatted, and I went to the exit, when they saw the same guy in the corridor!!! He turned out to be an intern who had an internship in this hospital, only in a different department. Then I realized that now it’s definitely fate, and I won’t forgive myself if I don’t at least get to know him. I knew that the next day I would definitely go to the hospital, and to him too. She wore a dress just above the knee, a denim jacket, a handbag and shoes with a small heel. What was his surprise when he saw me, and even in such an outfit. A few days passed, I did not come to my sister, because. she was about to give birth, and visiting was forbidden. After 2 days, my sister called me and was delighted with the appearance of the baby. We all actively began to prepare for discharge, balloons, flowers, gifts. And then the very day came, I completely forgot about my intern, and remembered only when I saw him near the hospital. We stood on the street for a very long time, and waited for the sister and baby to be discharged, the sister's husband was visibly nervous and therefore went into the car. I stood alone. And to my surprise, he came up himself and said those words that I didn’t expect to hear. “I was waiting for you,” he said, smiling. Oh god, his smile was even better than everything else. I forgot about everything. We met, his name was Vova, he was 23 years old. We began to communicate very often, and I wouldn’t say that I liked him, but I was drawn to him, and drawn furiously. I did not know what would happen next, but the main thing for me was to see him. With him, I carefully concealed it, and he may have guessed. A month passed, the next day we went for a walk. We walked, laughed, walked holding hands, without even noticing it, and at some point he stopped and looked straight into his eyes. Then the following phrase followed: “Do you want to go to the embankment? It's very beautiful in the evening." And we went to the embankment, it was really very beautiful, standing near the edge of the pier, I felt someone's breath behind me, I turned my head a little and saw his serious face, he put his jacket on me and hugged me. We just stood like that for about half an hour, silently and hugging each other. I felt warm and calm. But at some point, I realized that I really wanted to kiss him, I turned around, wrapped my arms around his neck, and kissed the corner of his lips. I didn’t know whether he liked it or not, so I didn’t insist on continuing. And she turned away again, continuing to look at the water .. for him it was a surprise, and he asked with a smile: “is that all?” I also asked with a smile: “Do you still want to?” he laughed out loud, turned me to him and with a very serious face, in a half-whisper, said “I really want to” .. after that he kissed me, with all his soul, with all sweetness and with all desire. I will remember this kiss for the rest of my life. We began to meet, and after 2 months we began to live together, soon we will have a wedding.

Hello! I'm Diana Morientes, science fiction writer. And what else, if not fiction, can be called "Beloved Student" - the love story of a little girl and a school physics teacher? Let me tell you everything in order.

At the age of twelve, I fell in love with a teacher. Actually, not only me - we were half a school. Maxim Viktorovich (name changed for purposes and fabulously handsome - a kind of angel who got lost at school: a cheerful blue-eyed blond with shoulder-length hair and dimples on his cheeks that appeared when he smiled looking at us, little seventh graders. He treated our sympathies condescendingly : he allowed himself to be entertained at breaks, favorably accepted offerings in the form of love notes, generously gave good grades.As I said, there were half the school of us: someone patiently ran after the physicist until the Graduation Party, and someone gave up his place in the retinue teachers to the younger generations, I was among the most faithful against my will.

At fourteen, apparently under the influence of puberty, I confessed my love to him. Personally, eye to eye. It was a rash move on my part, but I've always been on good terms with the teachers and it turned my head. I was sure of understanding on his part, and although I was not mistaken, I regretted my courage: it did not lead to anything, except that it only made me unbearably ashamed to look into his eyes during the lessons.

In peace and quiet, I drew a wall newspaper in the teachers' room after school. He came in to hang the key to his office in the locker, and we, left alone for almost the first time in our lives, had a heart-to-heart talk. No, not about us! About my problems with my parents. Since then, he has become my adult and wise friend.

Being a dreamer, I constantly dreamed about how our relationship with him could develop. I grew up, liked the boys and regretted that none of them could compete with my idol. Dreams about Him gradually turned from the pages of a personal diary into a light-fiction text: it turned out to be a little fairy tale about how a schoolgirl managed to win the teacher's heart. I made up names, believing that no one would guess that way ...

He read this story. After I passed my final exams in the 11th grade, I printed out a copy on the computer especially for Him. I had to gather all my recklessness together in order to dare to present this “abstract” to him. He smiled at the volume of paper and said, "Don't forget to live in the real world too!"

I didn't think he would read this so soon! I didn't think he would read this at all! At the Prom, he invited me to a slow dance (himself!!! I was in the sky!!!) and expressed his opinion about my writing ... He praised. I expected the words: “Well, you understand, this is a fairy tale, and it doesn’t happen like that,” but I heard: “You write well. Continue!" I thought that this story was a light casual chatter, and he said that it was “a novel with elements of practical psychology”! For all these years, I got used to living in a permanent state of unrequited love, but now I did not want to put up with this state! These three minutes of dancing changed everything in me in one step. He held my waist, pedagogically not pressing against me with his body, and my hands on his shoulders were trembling treacherously. All I wanted was to kiss him, but, firstly, I understood that he would pull away, and secondly, I had never kissed at all.

And with him - and never in my life.

Our communication with him logically stopped exactly after I graduated from school. I entered the university and spun in a whirlwind of entertaining student life: KVN, cafes, hikes, sessions ... I got a prestigious and interesting job, and this added to my adulthood in the eyes of others. I realized that I am interested in people, their stories, their thoughts, their lives. Sometimes, rummaging through the archives of someone's memory, I found such amazing files that, without hesitation, I rewrote my life experience for another clean copy. I tried to live with a man older than me, then changed from one serious relationship to another, and then fell in love at first sight with a handsome volleyball player. It turned out that this is the best person on the planet, and sex can lead to the perfect lasting marriage. We have been married for five years and in all this time we have never quarreled. The ingenious teacher Maxim Viktorovich taught me how to get along with people in my teens, and having appreciated it only now, I remembered a sweet fairy tale about Him…

The name "Beloved Student" suddenly played for me in new notes. Maxim - the main character - is really Natasha's teacher. Only he teaches her not physics, but life.

To begin with, the “happy ending” invented in his youth was followed by real events: the difficulties of a serious relationship - with problems, scandals, pain and conclusions. Then the main character graduated from high school, and the "fairy tale" turned into a completely realistic picture: a man and a woman with a noticeable age difference. She is still young and is just beginning to feel the taste of life, and he has already walked up and wants a quiet family hearth ... He educates her out of habit, but she (with his own help!) Is turning into an independent person ...

Two strong, stubborn characters, calculated with mathematical precision, a logically thought out storyline - there are no random trifles in this book.

Get ready for the drama, because as you get to know Maxim and Natasha better and better, you will feel everything they feel. You will live together with them for ten years of their life, go to bed with them, meet their friends, get carried away by their careers, fully enjoy the beauties of a chic resort on the Black Sea coast of the Caucasus ...

Are you ready to be in Sochi?

I cannot say that this day began somehow unusually; that the sun shone differently, or the birds sang something to me ... No, everything was as always. I barely got out of bed, cursing the person who thought of starting lessons at half past eight, trudged into the bathroom, looked at myself in the mirror, as usual horrified by what I saw and went to the kitchen, where my mother was already preparing something. Muttering "Good morning" as I passed, I plopped down in my crowned seat. Mom just shook her head. Apparently, the eternal lack of sleep is a family thing. Soon my father joined our company and landed on the chair across from me. Our deathly silence was interrupted only by the TV, from which, as usual, the cheerful presenter told us which sign of the zodiac should make expensive purchases today, which one should get married, and which one should not leave the house at all, because today there is a high probability that a person will either be knocked down a trolleybus, or a tractor will run over. How promising. Despite the fact that I understand perfectly well that this is complete nonsense, every morning I wait for my portion of predictions. It's like a kind of ritual: find out your future and, forgetting about it after 10 minutes, live a day. Having reached my sign, the girl began to gesticulate strongly and say that it was these people who were waiting for an event today that would turn their whole life upside down. I snorted and started eating my freshly prepared breakfast. Yeah, of course, life will turn upside down and change, and all this on Monday. The only thing that could change my life for the better is the abolition of physical education, or at least the dismissal of our teacher, if you can call him that. In general terms, he is already well over sixty and all he does is stare at young girls. Ugh. I hope he starts harassing someone soon and gets kicked out of our school. But, unfortunately, these are only dreams and hopes.

After breakfast, my parents and I went to our rooms. Pulling on jeans and a shirt, I headed into the corridor, where I quickly gathered myself and ran out into the street. Looking at the clock, I realized that I was a little late and it was better to take the bus today, because I would definitely be late for the first lesson (my favorite physics class).
At the bus stop, I stood for a very short time, shortly after my arrival, a bus drove up. As expected, there were a lot of people. I somehow climbed inside and walked a little forward, watching from behind the indignant glances of the passengers. Well, excuse me! I don't take all the space here! I moved a little further forward and almost pushed the guy. Muttering a quiet "I'm sorry" to him, I stood in place, hoping that I would not be trampled on.

The driver drove as if he was not carrying people, but firewood. Every five seconds the bus bounced and people fell on top of each other. At the next bump, my hand flew off the handrail, and I was ready to fall, but someone's male hand managed to catch me, hugging my waist. I got up in the starting position and said "thank you" somewhere in the air, because the savior was behind. Despite the fact that I was already firmly on my feet, the man did not let go of my hand. Of course, I understand that they simply support me from another fall, but from such a close interaction with the opposite sex, it threw me either hot or cold. Especially given the fact that it was a stranger to me.

At the bus stop, some people got off, which made me very happy. But my joy was short-lived, for even more people came. Freed for a moment from the people clinging to me, I took a more comfortable position, facing the chest of my savior. When the next portion of people thoroughly tumbled into the bus and took all the free space, I was literally stuck to the man. Because of my height, all I could see were muscular shoulders and tanned skin. I had neither the strength nor the desire to look up at his face, for I was still embarrassed. Approaching the next stop, a woman with huge bags, who was standing next to me, began to inexorably push everyone in her path, hurrying to the exit, because of which I staggered and fell face-first into the man’s neck. I apologized again and, placing my hand on his chest, I returned to my original position. I felt the guy's breath hitched and his body began to tense up. Realizing that my hand was still resting on his chest, I quickly pulled it away. In response, I heard him smile. Burning with shame, I jumped out of the transport. I stood for another minute and looked at the trail of the departing bus, trying to catch my breath. I don’t know what it was, but I still felt the warmth of his palms. After standing a little longer, I remembered that I was late. Looking around, I realized that there were 5 more stops to the school. You will have to run to be in time at least for the end of the lesson.

We lived in a small town, I had an ordinary life. I get up early, go to school, chat with friends, sit in class, write something and go home again, and at home, plunging into my fictional world, I get away from all problems, just turning on the music, I think about the future. But that day I I still don't forget. And so, this is where it all started...
Barely waking up at 6 in the morning, I did all my business, ate, washed, dressed, went to school with a friend.
We had a teacher at school, the most ordinary, about 30-35 years old. She and I were about the same height (my height is 1.66). She had a husband and children. I liked being in her class, she is very sociable, you can laugh with her over all sorts of nonsense. I just adored when she smiled, it really suited her, so I tried not to upset her, and in general I tried in every possible way to cheer her up. At first, there was nothing so serious. But today, at her lesson, we somehow accidentally began to discuss what we had not discussed with others, it was so easy and calm for me to talk to her, as if we were best friends. I wanted to tell her everything. Our conversation was interrupted, because. she still needs to teach a lesson and she can’t pay attention only to me. And after our sweet conversation, which at first glance was the most ordinary, I wanted to repeat it and I really didn’t want this lesson to end. Okay, I thought we'd still have time to chat. So in the classroom I didn’t worry about it, everything continued as always. So the lessons are over, we went home with a friend. At the exit, we met with the teacher, smiled at each other and said goodbye. But when I came home, I felt somehow uncomfortable, I wanted to talk to her again, I really missed her, I couldn’t find a place for myself, I really wanted to hear her, but I didn’t know her phone number. And when we chatted with a friend on the phone, she said that she saw her on the social network, but she does not add anyone to herself, only people important to her. I was in seventh heaven with happiness, but in order not to show it, I reacted like this: “Well, I understand.” Here a friend tells something of her own there, but I didn’t have time for her chatter, I was looking for T. (the name of the teacher, I don’t want to mention it here)) in the social network. Here I am on her page. I looked at all the photos, videos, all her posts, in general, everything that could be seen. I learned a lot of interesting things about her. I added to her subscribers to watch what she posts, and I didn’t even think that I would be her friend, but my friend spoke about this. She accepted my friend request, but I was more pleased than surprised. Since it was already late, I did not bother her and write something to her. Decided to leave it for later. She lay down and tried to fall asleep soon enough to see her again at school.

How wonderful it is to wake up in the morning, bask in bed. Still not moving away from deep sleep, look out the window: what a beauty - the sun is so bright and so much warmth emanates from it, and what a sky, you can look without taking your eyes off, enjoy this blue, slightly cutting color. At such moments, you feel like a child, in whose soul there are so many positive emotions, so much happiness and carelessness, carelessness, and so you want to shout to the whole world: “I love you all!”. But it is worth well to move away from sleep, you again see and feel the picture of reality, you understand that there will be no more that carefree, happy childhood, youth. And how quickly time flies, how fleetingly the years pass, now I’m already 30 years old, I can’t even believe it, but it seems that I was only 16 yesterday. How I want to plunge into this time again, return and relive every moment, every second of those past years. Ask why? Because it was the happiest time in my life, only then I realized what true love is and what is the meaning of life. I will try to convey to you everything to the smallest detail, because for me it is a real pleasure to plunge into these memories.

September 6, 1995 My sixteenth birthday.
- Mariska, daughter, sun, wake up!
Opening my eyes, I saw my mother, she was standing near my bed, smiling gently, in her hands she had a small box, about the size of a chocolate bar, tied with a bright red bow.
- Daughter, happy birthday! So you turned sixteen. Really, you are already 16, how big you are already. By the way, this is a gift for you, from me and from dad. I hope, you like it.
- Thank you mom. Oh, I can't wake up.
- Well, let's wake up, look at the gift, I'll go to the kitchen, stop lying around, run to have breakfast. Something delicious is waiting for you.
Terribly did not want to wake up, but sorting myself out, I still got out of bed with grief in half. I held a box with a gift in my hands, trying to guess what was inside. Unwrapping the gift, to be honest, I was stunned. There was a gold chain with a pendant, the shape of a lily flower, so beautiful, well, just fine. I was insanely happy, I had long dreamed about it. Once, together with my parents, we were in a jewelry store, choosing a gift for my aunt, even then I saw this chain, I could not take my eyes off it. Mom clearly noticed this, but I knew that they would not buy it for me, it would be very expensive. But my beloved parents were able to fulfill my dream.
This morning I was generally happy. I'm sixteen, I can't believe it. I really wanted then that something in my life would change and that I would be even happier.
After breakfast, I immediately flew to school. I loved it when my classmates and friends congratulated me at school.
- Marina, hello! Happy Birthday to You! How beautiful you are today! Anya said.
- Hello, Anechka. Thank you so much!
Anya was my best friend. It seemed to me that he was the most beautiful, kind, sympathetic little man. Anya was a year older than me, although we were in the same class. She was short, much shorter than me, with curly red hair, slightly clumsy, always cheerful, the smile never left her face, she radiated so much kindness and warmth. In general, it was impossible not to love this little man.
- Marina, you are already 16, and you still don't have a boyfriend, how much you can go in cycles in your studies.
- An, I don’t recognize you, is it you who tell me, well, you made me laugh at all, which of us is obsessed with studies.
Yes, of course I was joking. As they say, everything has its time. And we will still meet super handsome and cool guys, but so far this is not so important. And this is a small present for you from me.
Anya gave me a beautiful music box, obviously very old, her mother had a lot of such old things.
- Thank you, Anyutka, what a beauty ... Anya, and who is this?
- Where?
- Yes, there, that man in a black suit.
- Oh, I forgot to tell you, this is our new history teacher. I only found out today myself, by the way, we now have history, let's go to the lesson, let's see what he will teach us.

The bell rang and our new history teacher entered the classroom. Everyone looked at him with some suspicion, someone even laughed quietly. Everyone hoped that he would not be the same strict, evil teacher as the former one, who could hit the head with a pointer for no reason. In general, our entire class was in some thought and tension, and everyone was looking intently at the teacher. He was a tall, slender man in his mid-twenties. With dark, sideways styled hair, with a pleasant, kind smile, and very, as it seemed to me, wise, deep eyes, for the first seconds it seemed to me that I would drown in them. He, silently, went up to the teacher's table, put down his briefcase, silently cast his glance at each of us and smiled. From his smile, everyone, as if melted, smiled so sincerely and kindly
- Hello children! Let me introduce myself. My name is Alexander Nikolayevich, as you have already understood, I will keep a story with you, I hope we will find a common language. You are adults, after all, the eleventh grade. I think we will understand each other. I'd like to get to know you all, if you don't mind.
He got to know each of us, and now it was my turn.
“What is your name, dear lady?” Alexander N asked me.
- Ma..Marina...
I felt my voice tremble a little, I was a little worried.
And so our first lesson went great, everyone had good impressions about the new teacher, and also, we realized what an excellent sense of humor he has.
A month has passed since Alexander Nikolaevich conducted history with us. No one would have thought that even those from our class who simply simply abandoned their studies would suddenly take history seriously, even began to respectfully do their homework. Yes, our teacher was able to make such a deep impression on us, I did not think that there are such excellent teachers, to be honest, history has become my favorite subject, although like most of the students in our school. I do not want to exaggerate, but it seems to me that the children went to his lessons as if they were on a holiday. I liked this subject before, but the previous teacher was far from pedagogical, but I still always wanted to enter the Faculty of History, I really liked it.

One evening I was reading some detective story, I really liked to read, books were my second life, suddenly the phone rang.
Marisha, hi, are you busy? - Anya Simonova, that same friend of mine, asked in a cheerful voice.
- Oh, Anya, no, not busy, but what?
- Come to me right now, I have a surprise for you ...
When she talked about the surprise, I already knew why she was waiting for me.
Anya's father often went on business trips to work in another city, knowing his daughter's addiction to reading detective stories, each time he returned, he brought her a bunch of interesting books. But since I also loved such literature, we often gathered with a friend to talk, discuss some interesting book, and now Anya wanted to see a batch of new books with me.
In general, I quickly got up and went to her. It was a real golden autumn outside, leaves rustled underfoot, it seemed that you were walking through some kind of kingdom, as if everything was decorated with gold, a light breeze inspired different thoughts, I even suddenly thought about the meaning of life, although it was unusual for me, such Thoughts rarely crossed my mind.
I was so immersed in my thoughts that I didn’t even notice that I was already almost near Anya’s house. Suddenly, behind me, I heard a familiar voice, turning around, I saw our history teacher Alexander Nikolaevich.
- Marina, hello, I did not expect to see you, these are the times. Do you live in this area?
- Hello, it was unexpected for me too. No, I don't live here, I'm going to visit Anya Simonova, she lives in this house.
- Yes, it’s necessary, but I live in that house, - A.N. pointed to another nine-story building nearby,
- Well, I'll probably go, say hello to Anya, by the way, the weather is beautiful, I love this time of year. See you tomorrow, Marina.
- Goodbye, Alexander Nikolaevich.
I don’t know why, but at that moment, something strange happened in my head, I looked after the departing Alexander Nikolayevich for a very long time. His voice, every word he said, seemed to pierce me. He walked very slowly, as if in time with every rustle of the leaves, his gait seemed so graceful. I also noticed that his greyish-beige raincoat really suited him. Of course, in his black suit, in which he went to school, he looked very good, but the suit gave him some severity, solidity. And now, in his raincoat, he resembled, as it seemed to me, a romantic person, I would say, a poet, thinking about something deep. But these thoughts were just the product of my rich imagination.
When I went to Anya's apartment, she was all beaming, the smile just never left her face. Anya took me to her room, on the table I noticed a large stack of books.
- Marina, just look at what books, dad is just great, I've wanted to read them for a long time, but here is such luck. You look, look!
- Oh, yes, I heard about these detective stories, lucky, I hope when you read them, I can also take a read ...
- Of course, Marisha, well, why did I call you then, you can take whatever books you want right now, I don’t feel sorry for anything for you ... Marina, what’s wrong with you? Why you so sad? Any problems? You are not yourself.
- No, no, it's all right. I just thought so. By the way, I met our historian not far from your house.
- Alexander Nikolaevich ?!
- Yes, yes, he lives in the next house. He also said hello to you.
- That's right, but I didn't know. Ha, now, as a neighbor, he will give me one five. I'm kidding, of course. Let's go to school with him.
- Yes, I dreamed.
- But still, he is a cool teacher, though, the last year we will learn from such a wonderful teacher. There would be more such teachers.
Yes, Anya, you are right.

Arriving home, I thought for a long time about our meeting with the teacher, I did not understand why something strange happened to me, something that had never happened to me before. Even the night was kind of sleepless. And what was surprising, I dreamed of Alexander Nikolaevich, he was in a beautiful white suit, he walked towards me and, as always, smiled gently. But I did not attach any importance to this dream.
The next day, we were told that for some time history would be replaced with us, since Alexander Nikolayevich fell ill, and I was even upset to some extent. But a week later Alexander Nikolaevich recovered.
Once, in a history lesson, we were going through a new topic, Alexander Nikolayevich, as always, was joking with us. What was typical for him, he knew how to combine a subject and a friendly conversation, he could explain topics to us, but at the same time joke. And he got it right on time. As a result, we not only mastered the topic well, but also left his lessons with a charge of positive emotions. And not all teachers are like that. In addition, Alexander Nikolayevich was a very kind person, sympathetic, he could find an approach to any student. The students, and interestingly, even the other teachers, who were even much older, respected him very much. When the bell rang, everyone got ready and left the office.
- Marina, could you stay a minute.
- Yes, sure.
- Marina, as I know, you have decided to take an exam in history.
- Yes, I love history very much and I want to enter the Faculty of History.
- I approve of your choice, I also loved and love history very much, and I do not regret that now I work as a teacher. Marina, here I have some books for you, additional literature on history, I think these books will be useful to you. I am sure that you will be able to enter without any problems, you are a very capable girl.
- Thank you very much, Alexander Nikolaevich.
When I left the office, it was like a lump in my throat, I seemed to be unable to speak, as if I could not breathe. I did not understand why, when I saw him, something strange happened to me, and when he talked to me, I was completely lost.
All day I walked around the house in some kind of delusion, I could not even concentrate on anything, the thought flashed through my mind that I liked Alexander Nikolaevich, not only as a teacher, but also as a man, but I immediately tried to drive away this thought. Before, I didn’t really like anyone, I never attached any importance to this, I drove the thought into my head that until I finish school and get an education, I won’t like anyone, I won’t fall in love with anyone, these were me naive childish principles. Yes, and before it seemed to me that I was not so pretty, I probably did not like the opposite sex, almost all of my classmates, with the exception of me and Anya, were already friends with the guys with might and main. I went to the mirror and looked at myself very carefully, suddenly the thought arose that I was far from being so scary as I thought before, my appearance seemed very attractive to me, and what was a tall, slender girl with long blond hair, with a pleasant smile. But, my reasoning did not last long, and soon I forgot about my thoughts and assumptions.

Marina, Marina, please take these papers to Tamara Dmitrievna, my class teacher Antonina Viktorovna asked me.
- Yes, of course, now.
Tamara Dmitrievna was our librarian, the library was in the most remote part of the school. I walked with very quick steps, there was deathly silence in the corridors, all the students had already gone to their classrooms, I thought about something again. When I turned the corner, I ran into Alexander Nikolayevich, he was also apparently in a hurry somewhere, we hit each other very hard, all the papers fell apart, and the books that he carried in his hands also fell on the floor.
- Marinochka, forgive me, are you not badly hurt? My God! What I am not neat, too in a hurry and did not see anything around. Now I will collect all the papers, forgive me, Marina, please again.
- No, no, it's all right.
At that moment, I felt that my head was spinning, not even from the fact that I hit my head hard, but, probably, from his look, from his voice, it was as if my legs gave way, I looked at him and my heart was beating so quickly, he collected my papers from the floor, said something, sort of apologized again, I just didn’t understand what he said, I just looked at him intently.
- Marina, please, take your papers.
Handing me a stack of papers, he looked into my eyes, it seemed to me that time had stopped forever at that moment, I don’t even remember how long we stood like that, then he smiled, collected his books and went somewhere. All subsequent lessons that day passed in a blur, I did not know what was happening to me.
When all the lessons were over, Anya and I went home, that day she was, as always, in a great mood, she joked something again, told me, but I even delved into what she said, I always thought about Alexander Nikolaevich.
- Marina, what is happening to you, you feel bad, I see why you are silent, tell me what is the matter with you, you have been kind of strange lately.
I didn’t know whether I should tell Anna about everything, although I always trusted her, but I was tormented by some doubts, I still didn’t tell her anything.

I realized that I fell in love, I was crazy about Alexander N.
And how people can still change, it seemed to me that I had changed so much, as if I had matured for several years. Life seemed so beautiful to me, everything literally made me happy, all the people seemed so kind to me, it was as if I was living in some kind of fairy tale. Yes, and how wonderful it is when you love. Yes, yes, you love. I no longer fear this word. But all the feelings were in my soul, no one even guessed or suspected that I was in love, I even skillfully hid it from my mother, although this person knew me as flaky, but my mother did not know about my feelings.
Interestingly, I discovered the talent to write poetry, as you probably understood, of course, my poems were about love, about love for the beautiful Alexander Nikolayevich, for this wonderful person. Yes, and what happiness it was to go to his lessons, I didn’t need anything, I just wanted to occasionally look at him, and this was already happiness for me. Like a child, I enjoyed every moment when I was able to look at him.
But all the same, these were light, tender, naive feelings, I inspired myself that I had fallen in love, but as such I did not feel strong affection for him, I did not sob into my pillow at night from unrequited love. In general, she was at such a stage when love was only - just emerging.
As it became known to me later, not only me, but many students from our school liked Alexander Nikolayevich, which is interesting, even female teachers.
Chemistry was also taught by a young woman Svetlana Grigorievna, she was 27 years old, it turns out that she was also not indifferent to our historian. Yes, she was a rather pretty unmarried woman, but she was far from being an ideal character, a woman with an angelic voice, but with a devilish character, a very domineering person.
I always did not love her, just like she did me, sometimes conflicts arose between us, and she constantly put me in a bad light, according to her, I was a very impudent, naughty girl.
There were rumors around the school that there were some connections between Alexander Nikolayevich and this chemist, they were often noticed together, in general, everything of that kind. But I didn’t really believe these gossip, I couldn’t even think that such a wonderful person could contact such, pardon the expression, cobra.
I prepared hard for the exams in advance, especially in history. Alexander Nikolayevich even agreed to become my tutor, once a week we met with him at odd times. It was such happiness for me, I read a lot, I prepared for him to at least somehow appreciate my efforts. When we were alone with him, I seemed to fall into some kind of fairy tale, he asked me various questions about history, talked together, for example, discussed some problems, he was such a good conversationalist, we talked a lot, laughed, sometimes we could talk just about nothing. I was in seventh heaven. He, like a real well-mannered person, kept the border between a student and a teacher between us. I so wanted to please him, even though I knew that it was in vain. He hardly even looked into my eyes, or when our eyes met, he smiled sweetly and looked away. And I constantly looked at him, at first, as soon as I looked at him, I immediately blushed, became like a bright scarlet tomato, but now I could not take my eyes off him. Sometimes I thought that there could be something between us, but is eight years difference really that much? What could stop us, I could finish school, then college, then we could get married and live happily. In general, as always, thanks to her boundless, rich imagination, she could invent such stories, oh oh, Pushkin is resting.
Once, after school, I went to Alexander Nikolayevich's office, I had to give him some books, but the books were just an excuse to see him again.
I went to his office, stood for a while, straightened my hair, smiled and opened the door, what I saw at that moment amazed me so much, they stuck a knife in my heart.
Svetlana Grigorievna hugged and kissed Alexander Nikolaevich, spoke words of love to him, as it seemed to me, he did not even resist. I felt that I was very dizzy, even the books that were in my hands did not randomly fall to the floor.
Only then did the teachers notice me. Svetlana Grigoryevna looked at me, smiling slyly, while Alexander Nikolaevich looked at me in confusion and lowered his head. I don’t even remember how I ran out, in the school yard I sat on a bench, started crying, crying like I never cried, the first time I cried because of him. It was so hard on my soul, although I perfectly understood that he was not my property, he was a free person and had the right to meet with any person.
I firmly decided that it was time to put an end to my feelings, to try to forget everything, but how difficult it is when you see your loved one every day, it's just not real, but I tried. When we were going to additional classes with Alexander Nikolaevich, he changed, he was always kind of sad, he spoke little, did not even joke, as he used to. His eyes looked very sad. He seemed to feel some guilt towards me.
In general, everything remained in its place for a long time. Winter has already come, it's snowing outside, big snowdrifts, children are playing snowballs, the last year of a fun, carefree school life.
Before the New Year holidays, at school we organized a Christmas tree, a school-wide event. Since we were the eleventh grade, we played a big role in the organization, as a class we prepared an interesting performance, since I went to a vocal circle, I decided to sing a couple of songs. Things were going uphill, there was practically no free time. I already had a New Year's mood, I didn’t even think about Alexander Nikolayevich, I just drove away thoughts about him.
And then the long-awaited New Year's Eve at school came, everyone had different outfits, costumes. Everyone was beaming, everyone was in a great mood. For the holiday, I put on my new shiny silver dress, I looked great in it, my mother tried on my hair, it turned out very beautiful, many even complimented me. It was a lot of fun, everything went like clockwork. Almost all of our teachers were present, no matter how much I wanted to think about Alexander Nikolaevich, I still looked for him everywhere with my eyes, as it turned out, he apparently did not come, it became a little sad, but at the same moment the sadness dissipated, the situation clearly did not allow me to be sad .
Now it was the turn of my performance, the music began to play, I sang, and suddenly my knees seemed to shake, our history teacher entered the hall, at that moment my voice almost broke, thank God, this did not happen, I suddenly felt so in my soul calm and good. - He is here, he is near, he hears me sing, I sing for him, my God, how happy I am - I thought. The teacher looked at me attentively, it seemed to me that he did not take his eyes off me.
Later he went somewhere, I did not see him. Then, I felt a little uneasy, I wanted to breathe fresh air. I walked down the corridor to the exit, there was no one around. I heard the voice of Alexander Nikolaevich, he was standing near his office, he asked me to come up to him.
- Marina, how beautiful you are today, and how you sang, what a beautiful voice, you are very talented.
- Thank you, Alexander Nikolaevich.
- Marina, what's wrong with you? You feel bad?
- Yes, a little, do you have any water?
- Yes, yes, of course, there is in the office, come in.
He took me into his office, sat me on a chair and poured a glass of water, his hands were trembling a little, I noticed this
- Thank you, Alexander Nikolaevich. I am better now.
- It's a wonderful evening, it's a pity that I was late, I must have missed a lot? But at least I managed to hear you, Marina.
- Why are you addressing me as you, Alexander Nikolayevich?
- Marina, I have long wanted to talk to you.
I saw that he was nervous, sweat broke out on his face, he somehow behaved strangely.
- Remember, you then went into the office, where we were together with Svetlana Grigoryevna, well, we, well, when we were kissing.
- Yes, I remember, but why this conversation?
- Marina, I want you to know that there is nothing between Svetlana Grigoryevna and me, and there never was, and never will be.
- You know, I don't care. Why are you reporting to me? You are a free person, you can love whoever you want, even Svetlana Grigorievna, and that she is a pretty pretty woman, you look great together.
- Marina, why are you so aggressively set against me now.
At that moment, he began to walk around the office with quick steps, muttering something under his breath.
- Perhaps I started this conversation in vain, oh, my God, I don’t know how to explain everything to you, what I have long wanted to tell you. Of course, I understand that this is far from being pedagogical on my part ...
Marina, Marisha, Marinochka, I like you very much, I, I love you! Yes, I love you! I fell in love with you from our very first meeting, from our very first lesson, from that meeting near Anya's house. I'm afraid to admit my feelings, I understand that I have no right to love you, but I can't help but love you. You, what I want to live for, you have become the meaning of my life. Yes, I know what a fool I am, I generally go against everything, I don't know what to do. I hoped that I would never tell you this, I endured, tried to keep myself within limits, told myself that nothing could happen between a teacher and a student, but you can’t command your heart. Even the mind is powerless against love. Forgive me, Marina, forgive me.
Alexander Nikolaevich came up to me and took my hands, I felt his hot breath so close, we silently looked into each other's eyes, then his lips approached my lips so close, unable to resist, we merged into a hot, passionate kiss. Oh my God! What a blessing it is! For the first time, I felt so happy, emotions overwhelmed me. Is it possible that the person I love, as it seemed to me as an unrequited love, also loves me, and here he is so close, so close that you can feel him, kiss him, when not only our lips have merged, but also our souls, this is a real peak bliss for which you are ready to give everything, even your life.
Those minutes while I was next to Alexander Nikolaevich seemed like an eternity to me, I so wanted it to never end. But then, at some point, I descended from heaven to earth, escaped from his arms and ran out of his office.
When I came home that evening, I could not come to my senses, I was like drunk. Even my mother noticed that I behaved strangely. But it couldn’t be otherwise, I couldn’t even dream about it, I didn’t believe in what happened, it seemed to me that it was a fabulous dream, thoughts about Alexander Nikolayevich simply did not disappear from my head. In general, I was the happiest. At that moment, I clearly lost my head, because I didn’t even think that it was a wrong act on the part of each of us.
The New Year holidays were going on, we were resting, gradually I began to come to my senses, then I even felt somehow ashamed of myself, of what had happened, I suddenly realized that it was all a mistake. I terribly wanted to tell someone about what was happening to me, to ask at least someone for advice, I didn’t know what to do, how we would now look into each other’s eyes. On the one hand, I was happy, but on the other hand, I was tormented by various doubts, even fears, that someone would find out about this, especially my parents, then I would definitely not live.

One Sunday, Anya invited me to visit, she wanted to give me a couple of new books to read, but to be honest, I was not interested in these detective stories, in general, thanks to Alexander Nikolaevich, I changed a lot, very much even in many ways. But after all, I didn’t want to offend Anya, because of respect for her, I nevertheless agreed to come. And I also madly wanted to tell her everything about Alexander Nikolayevich, although I didn’t want to tell anyone about it, but I couldn’t keep it in myself, I thought that I could tell Anyuta everything, I trusted her.
Anya, as always, was in a great mood, told me a lot of news, we drank tea, in general, it was great. And so, I thought that the moment had come, I would now tell her everything.
Anna, I wanted to tell you something.
- Marisha, I'm sorry to interrupt, but can you imagine, today I walked with Alexander Nikolayevich, he is such a cool, cool person.
- Yes, and where did you walk?
- This morning I went for a walk and met him, we walked together, talked, he told me so many interesting things about himself. In general, he is such a wonderful, good person, and what an interlocutor, in the morning, and I have such a big boost of energy, yes, after all, I am lucky that he lives not far from me. Marina, I began to meet him so often in the morning, we walk together almost every day. You have no idea how great it is!
- Congratulations…
- Marinochka, I think I fell in love, he is the best man!
- Yes, I'm happy for you, great ...
- Marisha, why are you so sad? Now I'm totally fine! I'm happy! Marina, don’t be sad, what are you doing ... Everything will be fine, by the way, we will also find a guy for you now, in general it will be cool! And maybe I can like him, but what's stopping me.
- All of course can be. Anya, I think I'll go, my mother told me not to linger.
- Well, come to me somehow. Soon the holidays will end, it would be faster to go to school.
So long, Anya.
I left the entrance, I felt that tears were flowing down my cheeks. Is Anna also in love with him? How? Why? I don't believe it, I thought. It was doubly hard for me, I didn’t care that other students liked him, but I couldn’t even imagine that Anya could fall in love with him, now Alexander Nikolaevich seemed to become an obstacle between us. How could friendship continue between us now? I was tired of these thoughts.
And suddenly, on the way, I met Alexander Nikolayevich again, but at that moment I did not want to see him. As always, he walked with his slow, graceful gait, apparently he did not notice me at first. At that moment, I wanted to turn in the other direction so that he would not see me. But apparently I was late, he, noticing me, immediately ran up to me.
Marina, hello! How long have I not seen you! Marina, why are you crying? Marina, what's wrong with you?
- Hello, everything is in order, so little things, I'm in a hurry.
- Marina, listen to me please. You probably think I'm a complete idiot, please forgive me for my stupidity. Marina, I behaved just awful then, I understand that I made a mistake, I had no right to even touch you. I will do for you whatever you want. If you want, I can quit, because I certainly hurt you. Marina, say something.
- Alexander Nikolaevich, you don’t have to make such sacrifices, you don’t have to quit, I don’t hold a grudge against you, just let’s forget about everything that happened between us. Fine?
- Well, Marina, everything will be as you want, if you think, we will forget about everything.
I didn't answer him any more. Alexander Nikolaevich left, but at that moment I so wanted to run up to him, hug him and tell him how much I love him.

I walked slowly home for a long time, the snow fell in flakes to the ground, the whole earth was covered with a white veil, at that moment I so wanted to be one of those snowflakes flying to the ground, I so wanted to soar somewhere above the ground, in those minutes I was in a state of euphoria.
Then, in the remaining days of the holidays, I thought for a very long time about what I should do. I decided that I wouldn’t tell Anya anything, I just didn’t want to lose my friend. I firmly decided to forget Alexander Nikolaevich in any way, I even inspired myself that he was my enemy, so I was stupid.
The holidays are over, the school weekdays have begun again, this fuss again, in general, everything was the same as before. As it turned out, self-hypnosis is a strong thing, I began to notice that I think about our historian less often, I tried to see him as rarely as possible.
But Anya did not give me peace, every now and then she told me that she really liked Alexander Nikolaevich, she buzzed all over my ears. But it seemed to me that on his part there was not any signs of attention in her direction. All in all, I didn't care.
A rather nice boy Dima studied with me in the class. Once I even liked him, but it was in the elementary grades, and what feelings could there be - children's love. Even now I liked him, but how to say I liked him, just a pleasant, charming, sweet boy, but I didn’t have any special feelings for him. It was incomparable with what I felt for Alexander Nikolaevich.

Interestingly, I began to notice that Dima began to show me some signs of attention, of course, this flattered me, but I did not attach much importance to this.
He began to accompany me home, sometimes invited me to the cinema, even once read me a poem dedicated to me, I was a little surprised, the poem was really talentedly written, words coming from the heart.
Many said that we looked so good together, Anya was generally so happy for me, every now and then she asked me about our relationship. Even my mother was happy for me, she really liked Dima, our parents were very good friends, in general, my mother was calm for me. She, of course, told my dad everything, but he approved of my choice. Although, as such, Dima has not yet offered me friendship.
Once we were walking with Dima in the park. We had fun together, he told me stories about his childhood, about his dreams, plans for the future, about the fact that his dad was a pilot and what maneuvers he could do, I managed to find out about all his relatives, in general, then I learned all his biography.
We were walking, laughing about something, and suddenly I saw that Alexander Nikolayevich and Svetlana Grigoryevna were walking ahead of us to meet us, they were walking, holding hands, talking about something, smiling at each other. For me, this sight was annoying, like two cooing doves. They spotted us and started walking towards us.
- Oh, children, hello! Are you walking? And what wonderful weather, you must agree. And here we are, too, with Alexander Nikolaevich walking, - said Svetlana Grigoryevna, as always with her nasty angelic voice.
Alexander Nikolaevich silently looked at me and at Dima and looked away. He also said a few words, I really don’t remember.
By the way, you look great together! Dima said. He was a very cheerful person, he could joke with the teachers, it was permissible for him, the teachers loved Dimka, respected him, he was a very capable, erudite student. And Svetlana Grigoryevna especially loved Dima, she simply adored him.
- Yes, Dimochka, I know that we look great together, by the way, you also look nice together. That's just something our dear Marinochka is sad. Dima, how could you let this happen?
I just could not stand her anymore at that moment, it was disgusting for me to hear and see her. Having said that we were in a hurry, I immediately took Dima away, and we moved on.
- Dima, please take me home, I'm overtired, my head hurts.
- Yes, of course, Marisha, let's go.
When we came to my house, I already wanted to go into the entrance, when Dima stopped me, took my hand and did not let go.
- Marina, I want to tell you something. Marina, I love you. I really like you, you are very beautiful, kind, affectionate, you are really a very good person. Let's be friends.
For me, his words did not come as a surprise, I guessed that he liked me. But at that moment, I would have said for sure - no, because, to be honest, I did not love him. But I don’t know for what reasons, maybe because of the resentment towards Alexander Nikolayevich, I nevertheless said “yes”. In the future, I still had to regret it.
Dima at that moment beamed with happiness, said some bunch of beautiful words, like a word of love and stuff like that. Then he kissed me, I was pleased to some extent, but it was incomparable with my first kiss with Alexander Nikolayevich, and all the same, in the depths of my soul, I loved my teacher very much.
And so, I became friends with Dima, he often gave me gifts, dedicated many beautiful poems to me, but what annoyed me was that he literally followed me, both at school and after school. And all our friends, acquaintances, even teachers were happy for us, saying that we are such an ideal couple, that we are so suitable for each other. Dima even decided to enter the Faculty of History with me, although this would not have been a problem for him, he knew history very well, was an excellent student, went to the gold medal.
Dima, Dima, he was a wonderful person, but who would have thought then that his dreams and desires could never come true.
It's been two months since we started to be friends with Dima. In our house, he became almost like a native, my mother could not get enough of him, and Dima respected my parents very much, he especially loved my mother, yes, they found a common language. Dima, in general, could find a common language with any person. Mom said that it would be great if we entered the same faculty, that we would be together, that I was in good hands. Although, it was really not scary with Dima, with his physical strength, he was engaged in karate and had quite a lot of success.
But I began to notice behind myself that sometimes, I just didn’t want to see Dima, I was somehow not very comfortable with him. Although he could always cheer up to incredible heights, he could say good words or fulfill any of my desires. He was ready for anything for me, and to be honest, it didn’t really touch me, simply because I didn’t love him, I was humanly sorry for him, and I didn’t want to upset him. And all the same, I thought about Alexander Nikolaevich, and even when I didn’t think about him, he always came to me in a dream, the law of meanness. And how hard it was to wake up and realize that these were just dreams that, as it seemed to me, would never come true. To tears it became insulting, painful from hopelessness. But I endured, thinking that everything would pass someday, because it’s probably not without reason that they say that time heals, because more than one person said this, which is why I cannot be among those people.
Not far from our city there was a children's camp, which worked all year round. Schoolchildren usually came there, they rested there, engaged in various types of creative activities, during school hours the children also studied there. In our city, this camp was very popular, and most importantly, the children really liked it there.
And so, our school was offered to bring a group of students from the senior classes for the March holidays. But not all children could get there, but only those who were distinguished by good studies, participated in various competitions, various conferences, those children who actively showed themselves in school life.
Among the invitees were me, and Anya, and Dima. I immediately agreed, because I didn’t really want a vacation, again these boring everyday life at home, in general, I happily agreed, I really wanted to go there again, since I had already been there when I was in middle school, from the first I have only positive emotions from the trip.
Anya did not agree to go, as she was leaving for a vacation in another city to her grandmother. Dima also couldn’t go because he had a bad cold and was at home with a fever, he so wanted to go with me, but, alas, although, to be honest, it even made me happy, I wanted to at least be there without Dima, I'm selfish, yes.
A group of students gathered, on the appointed day we had to come to the school and then go to the camp.
And then the day of our trip came, the next night I slept very badly, I could not sleep for a long time. Some thoughts were constantly spinning in my head, then I thought about Dima, who was sick, and I decided to go on vacation, somehow it seemed to me not right, these thoughts disturbed me, caused some kind of sadness, anxiety. Then I again thought about Alexander Nikolayevich, about what he would be interested in doing during these holidays, he would probably go to his native city to visit his relatives, because he was not from our city. Thoughts about Alexander Nikolaevich brought at least some joy, my heart became very warm, pleasant.
Waking up in the morning, I felt a little unwell, I felt lack of sleep, and I didn’t want to get out from under the warm blanket, I wanted to plunge into the world of sleep again. I glanced at the clock, time was running out, it was time to go. I quickly got ready and hurried to school.
The weather was just wonderful outside, a little snow fell, everything around seemed to freeze, the earth seemed to fall asleep, light fog, and what air, such freshness, you walk and breathe deeply, getting a huge boost of energy, I even felt a slight dizziness .
So I went to the school, the bus was already waiting for the students, those who came instantly jumped into the bus, taking convenient places. Everyone was assembled, our algebra teacher Daria Sergeevna and physics teacher Konstantin Ivanovich were supposed to be accompanying us.
I was very fond of our algebra teacher, a very good woman, although a little strict, but very fair, I respected her very much, and Darya Sergeevna loved me.
- Marisha, I was wondering where you are. I thought you didn't want to go.
- No, what are you, Darya Sergeevna. Just slept a little. And where is Konstantin Ivanovich, where is he? Somehow I don't see it.
- Konstantin Ivanovich fell ill, he will not be able to go, but Alexander Nikolayevich will be accompanying him instead, thanks, of course, to him that he agreed, he is a nice person after all. Okay, Marina, get on the bus. Everyone is here, I checked everyone on the list, and now, please, everyone get on the bus. It's time to go now.
I sat down with Darya Sergeevna. Ahead of us sat Alexander Nikolayevich and my classmate Tanya.
To say that at that moment I was not happy that Alexander Nikolayevich went with us, to say nothing. I was pleasantly surprised, I did not regret that I agreed to go. I even thought that this is probably a gift of fate.
It was very cool in the camp, we had a great time, various events were organized for us, but we also had to actively show ourselves by participating in various competitions and competitions. Everything was just great.
So the three days of our stay there passed unnoticed. With Alexander Nikolayevich, we very rarely encountered, only occasionally did our eyes meet. I noticed that he was depressed all the time, very rarely smiled, joked. It was like something was bothering him.
One day something happened that I could not have imagined. The fourth day of our stay in the camp turned out to be just great, that day we had a lot of fun, the organizers prepared a very interesting concert for us, even we could take part in this concert, some children from our school played musical instruments, in general, who, on that was much. I then played the piano and sang, I graduated with honors from a music school in piano. After there were several team games, then we went on an excursion, and in the evening there was a disco. It was so great, I danced enough. When slow music was turned on, the young men invited the girls to a slow dance. My classmate Tolya invited me to dance, but I refused, referring to the fact that I was very tired. But with my eyes I looked everywhere for Alexander Nikolayevich, I madly wanted him to invite me to dance. And so, I finally noticed him, he was standing in the opposite corner, looking at me, he even went in my direction, but my classmate Tanya intercepted him, yes, she was lucky then, she danced with him.
Later they turned on slow music, but I didn’t see Alexander Nikolaevich anymore, he left.
The disco ended, it was about ten o'clock in the evening, we were announced a lights out, everyone went to their rooms, I went to bed, but could not sleep at all. I was very thirsty, thirst simply tormented me, there was no water in the room, I had to go to the dining room.
Returning from the dining room, I passed by the room of Alexander Nikolaevich. At that moment, I really wanted to see him, I just did not control myself, I decided to look into his room, looking around, I made sure that there was no one around.
I slowly opened the door to Alexander Nikolaevich's room, I thought that he was already asleep, but he was sitting at the table and reading some book.
- Marina, you're still awake, something happened?
- No, nothing, I just can’t sleep, I went for water. I'll probably go, I won't distract you.
- Wait, Marina, sit with me for a while, I don't want to sleep either. You know, it’s somehow very sad, melancholy has generally overcome me lately, some kind of sediment in my soul.
- Any problems?
- Yes, yes. Somehow lately it has become difficult to communicate with people, I quarreled with my father again, there are problems at work. Everything seems to have gone downhill. Perhaps I’ll complete a year at your school, but I’ll go to my hometown. I can't seem to find myself here.
- It's a pity that our school will lose such a good teacher.
- Marina, you understand, nothing keeps me here, it makes no sense.
- But what about me, Alexander Nikolaevich, I love you, I love you.
- What did you say?
- Yes, Alexander Nikolaevich, I love you very much. I have loved you for a long time, from the first time we met.
- Marina, Marinochka, is it really true, I don't believe it. My God, tell me, I'm not sleeping, Marina, is this not a dream? I must have dreamed of hearing those words since the first time I saw you. You have no idea what your words mean to me.
- I wanted to say these words to you even when you confessed your love to me.
- Marisha, I am extremely glad to hear this, I am the happiest person in this world.
I, too, at that moment felt so happy, really, I told him this, do we really love each other, I thought. Alexander Nikolayevich hugged me. We stood, not letting go of each other, for a very long time. I remember tears running down my cheeks, but they were tears of joy.
- Marina, I will never let you go from me again, I loved you and will love you, we will always be together, you hear, always. And no obstacles can separate us from you.
- Alexander Nikolaevich, you have no idea how much I want to believe it.
- I want to tell you so much, I want to tell you so much, Marina, my love, my happiness, you are the meaning of my life, you are what I want to live for.
We sat on his bed, talking, not even paying attention to the time, although it was already well after midnight. He told a lot about himself, about his life, asked me how he spoke, he was interested in everything that was connected with me.
- Alexander Nikolaevich, what about you and Svetlana Grigorievna? After all, you were together.
Yes, there was nothing between us. We're just friends. I immediately explained to her that there could be nothing between us, I didn’t want to reassure her, I said that we would just remain friends, Sveta is a good person, but I don’t love her. But she can't accept it. She says she will always wait, hopes that someday I will love her. I have already talked to her on this topic more than once, but to convince a principled person is tantamount to trying to convince a modern person that the earth is flat.
I don't need anyone but you. You know, if someone, at least a year ago, told me that I would fall in love with my student, I would not have believed it one hundred percent.
- Alexander Nikolaevich, it's already late, I'll probably go to my room, suddenly someone will suspect that I was with you. Good night!
- Good night, Marisha, I will fall asleep and understand that I am the happiest person in the world. I hope that you will definitely dream of me. I love.

I left his room, checked that no one had seen me, fortunately, no one was there, everyone was already asleep. As soon as I lay down in my bed, I immediately fell asleep, I generally slept like a log.
When I woke up in the morning, I felt so cheerful, although I did not sleep very much, our conversation with Alexander Nikolayevich ended at about three in the morning. The mood was just wonderful, I have never woken up so happy. When you realize that you love and you are loved, that's what real happiness is.
The day went well, almost all the time I was next to Alexander Nikolayevich. But we did not give any sign that something was not clean between us, we only looked at each other, sometimes winked and smiled at each other.
On the last day of our stay, as always, a bunch of events were held for us, a farewell party, and then there was a disco. That evening, Alexander Nikolayevich danced slow dances only with me, perhaps it seemed strange to someone, but we didn’t give a damn about everyone. We loved each other, and that was the most important thing for us.
So we returned home, the holidays were over. Again the school, again all the days are busy, again there was no free time, I was actively preparing for the exams. Everything was great for me.
Upon arrival home, I realized that I needed to somehow resolve the issue with Dima, I no longer wanted to meet him and lie to him, this should not have continued any longer. But I did not dare to tell him everything. But one day I called him and asked him to meet in the park.
The park was far from crowded, absolute silence reigned around, it depressed me a little. Somehow it was very hard on my soul, I really did not want to hurt Dima, but there was no way back.
Dima was a little late, I thought that he would not come, I even started to get nervous, but a little later, I saw him, he was running towards me. From the expression on his face, one could see that he was beaming with happiness, apparently he was insanely glad to see me.
- Marinochka, hello, sun, I miss you so much.
- Hello, did you manage to get bored, like you saw each other at school today.
- Yes, I already got bored. This is for you, I give.
- What is this?
- On the way to the park, I was passing by a store, and I noticed this wonderful soft toy, this nice puppy. I really wanted to give it to you. That's why I, a little late, had to stand in line.
- Thank you, of course, but not worth it.
- No, it was worth it, let this puppy always remind you of me, he is like me, just as submissive and loving his mistress, that is, you. And if you want, I'll give you a live puppy, if you want of course. Marisha, what is the matter with you, you are somehow strange today, taciturn. Something happened?
- I want to tell you something.
- I hear you, ma'am!
- Dima, you are a wonderful person, you are a good friend, you are very dear to me, but understand, we need to part. Please don't misunderstand me.
- What? Why? Have I offended you somehow? Did I do something wrong? Forgive me if I offended you in any way. Is there something wrong with me? Tell? Maybe someone told you something about me?
- Dima, Dimochka, no, it's not about you.
- And in whom?
- It's about me, you're not to blame for anything, you're generally a perfect person. You see, I don't love you, you're just a good friend to me, Dima, I love you, but as a friend, as a brother, you understand.
- No, I don’t understand, because everything was so wonderful! Why are you like this with me?! And, yes, I understand, you have another, fell in love, I suppose, with someone. Yes? Confess!
- Dima, it doesn't matter if I fell in love with someone or not. Dimochka, please, let's be friends. Please forgive me, I am very guilty before you, I hurt you. I didn't think it would all turn out like this. Forgive me please...
- So, after all, I definitely fell in love with someone ... I did not expect this from you, you really hurt me very, very much. Goodbye!
With quick steps, he hurried somewhere in the direction of the exit from the park. There was so much resentment, pain, hatred in his eyes. I will never forget that look of his.
It was not easy for me then, I was shaking all over, I could not walk, on the way home, I was almost hit by a car, I was like insane. I don't remember how I got home.
I went home, my mother was just waiting for me for dinner, I said that I was not hungry and went to my room, my mother immediately noticed that something was wrong with me.
- Marie, how did you walk with Dima? Oh, what a nice puppy, Dima gave? Nice boy he is.
- Ma, we broke up.
- What do you mean broke up? Why?
- I didn't want to meet him anymore, I told him about it.
- Marina, but why? He's so good, kind, than he didn't please you.
- I know that he is the perfect guy, many people dream of this. But I'm not one of them. I do not like him. Mom, please leave me alone.
- Silly you. Lost this guy. Why did you do this, give him hope, and now you're ruining everything like this. Girl, this is not good of you.
Have you by any chance fallen in love with someone else? A? Look to me, it’s ignoble of you, you’re not some kind of flirtatious, you took it and left it. But I think you will still make up with whom it doesn’t happen ...
- No, we won't make up, it's all over. I hope Dima can understand me. Mom, we'll just stay friends, just good friends.
- But okay, daughter, be your way. Everything will be fine for you and Dima.
- Hope…

The next day, at school, I met Dima. He was very killed, everyone is constantly accustomed to seeing him so cheerful, but today he seemed to have been replaced. Even in the classroom, he behaved strangely, was constantly silent, and answered the questions of teachers, rude to them.
Dima avoided me, looked at me very angrily. From his look it became very uneasy, I constantly felt guilt in front of him, remorse.
On the way home from school, I told Anya about everything, told about Dima and even about Alexander Nikolaevich. By the way, her feelings for him are long gone, she already liked another guy. Anya, of course, scolded me for a long time, lectured me, but, in general, she understood me and supported me. She said that she had noticed for a long time that I liked Alexander Nikolayevich, she just didn’t say it, she thought that if I wanted to, I would tell everything myself. She was happy for me and Alexander Nikolayevich, she only constantly talked about how we can still be together with him, because there are so many obstacles between me and him. I answered her that we will get out, God willing, everything will be fine. I was glad that she understood me, I could trust her.

I rarely saw Alexander Nikolayevich, except at fixed times, but even these rare meetings of our views were already happiness for us. Once he offered me to meet with him, he wanted to talk to me, I agreed, said that I would be in the park in the evening, located not far from Anya's house.
At home, I had to lie to my parents that I was going to visit Anya, supposedly I needed to take some books.
When I came to the meeting, Alexander Nikolayevich was already waiting for me, I was so happy to see him again, he hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. He somehow didn’t dare to kiss me on the lips anymore, he probably thought that I wouldn’t like it, he was afraid to offend me somehow, to hurt me. And he was still beautiful, romantic, I went crazy from his smile, from his look.
- Marisha, I'm so glad to see you. You look great. And how did you explain to your parents that you were going to meet me?
- It was not a problem for me, she said that she went to Anya.
“Sorry for making you lie to your parents.
- Yes, what are you.
- Marina, I wanted to talk to you about something, what do you think, maybe we shouldn't hide our relationship from everyone like that. You see, I am ready to take full responsibility for my actions. If you want, I can come myself and tell everything to your parents, explain everything. But if you want, I won’t tell anything to anyone, I’m ready to wait, at least for how long, I’m ready to wait until you finish school, I’ll wait until you come of age. I will do everything the way you want. I am happy when you are happy.
- What a blessing that I met you, I love you so much. Alexander Nikolaevich, tell me about yourself, tell me about your relatives, about your childhood, I want to know everything about you.
- Well, what can I tell you. Okay, I'll tell you about my family, about my childhood. I had a happy childhood, loving parents, just a wonderful older sister, three years older than me. My parents were teachers at the school. Mom taught literature, dad taught geography. My parents were just wonderful, they loved each other, I respected them very much, it seemed to me that there were no better parents. And my sister Sasha, in general, was wonderful, I loved her so much, we lived together with her. But trouble struck when I was eleven years old, my mother and sister died in a car accident. For me and my father, it was a real shock, it was just awful, I never could have imagined that I could lose them. It seemed to me that it was just a terrible dream, I just had to wake up and, behold, my mother and sister were there again, but it was not a dream. I was terribly broken then, my father generally went into drinking binges for some time, for him it was also a great grief. But together we were able to survive, two years passed, we more or less recovered, began to live as before, only without my mother and sister.
Then I began to notice that my father behaved somehow strangely, often stayed late at work, became somehow cheerful, even happy, it seemed to me that he was hiding something from me.
But one day the whole truth surfaced, somehow after work he brought a young girl Sasha to our house, and put me before the fact that he was going to marry her. I was just shocked then. I didn’t want to accept this at all, it seemed to me that my father would defile the memory of my mother and sister with this, I didn’t believe that now some other woman would replace my mother, by the way, she also worked at our school, immediately after graduation she came to work with us . I talked to my father on this topic, but it was useless, he was like a stubborn donkey, saying that he was crazy in love with her. In general, in spite of everything, he married her, she began to live with us. But it would be fine if she was normal, but as soon as she moved to us, she quickly felt like a mistress, she, in general, did not put me in anything. She constantly humiliated me, I always cursed with her, but no matter how I fought for justice, my father always believed only in her, she constantly put me in front of him in a bad light, defiled me. I felt unwanted, like an outcast. My stepmother gave birth to a daughter, my father was generally in seventh heaven with happiness, then I became completely unnecessary for him. My stepmother didn’t let me go to my sister at all, she said, you never know what I can do to her. I missed my mother and sister so much, in this house I became a complete stranger. I was already 17 years old, I was finishing school, my father immediately said that I would go to the historical one, and I didn’t mind, even though he didn’t contradict me here.
And my stepmother was always looking for a way to completely survive from home and found me.
I began to notice that she somehow behaved strangely towards me, became kind, affectionate, caring.
One day, she got her way, dad was at work, he was supposed to come home soon. I also came from school, my stepmother behaved somehow strangely, walked around the house in her underwear, I didn’t understand her then. I was sitting in my room doing my homework, I didn’t even notice that she came into my room, crept up to me and started hugging me, then kissing me, started to undress me, I tried to push her away, but she didn’t lag behind, trying to push her away from myself, I accidentally scratched her hand, apparently very hard. But she still stubbornly pestered me, I threw her away from me, she fell and apparently hit very hard. I heard my dad come into the apartment, he came home from work, asking if anyone was at home or not. Sasha instantly jumped off the floor and ran to her father, I realized that there was something unclean in her actions.
I heard her crying, screaming loudly, telling her father that I tried to rape her, allegedly I molested her, said that I hit her, thanked her father that he had come on time.
I knew that now I'm going to hit hard from my father. He flew into my room, there was so much anger in his eyes, he hit me very hard, shouted at me. I could explain to him that it was all a set-up, but I understood that it would be useless, he still would not believe me.
That same evening, my father announced to me that he was sending me to live with my grandmother, she also lived in the same city. He told me not to appear in his house anymore, told me to pack my things, he did not want to see me anymore, said that I had lost my father forever.
In general, I moved to live with my grandmother, I saw my father very rarely, he tried to avoid me, was very offended by me, sent me money every month, but not himself, but through acquaintances. I have repeatedly tried to talk to him, called him, but to no avail.
With my grandmother, my mother’s mother, I lived much better than at home, she is just a wonderful, kind-hearted person, I didn’t have a grandfather, he died at the front.
It was very good with my grandmother, the two of us lived in clover. Grandmother was as kind as my mother, she replaced her for me. My grandmother did not condemn me, she was on my side, she knew that I could not do this, she saw very well that my stepmother specially arranged everything in order to survive me, my grandmother was very sorry for me.
So I lived with her, graduated from high school, went to college, studied, came here, got a job and met and fell in love with you, my sun. Now you know everything about me, this is my life.
- My God, how hard it was for you, how much you had to endure. Somehow it doesn't fit in my head.
- Yes, okay, do not load yourself with unnecessary thoughts. Marisha, what cold hands you have. You are cold, let me hug you.
- Alexander Nikolaevich, how I love you. I feel so good with you, calmly, I'm so happy. Oh, it's already seven o'clock, it's time for me to run, my parents must have already lost me.
Farewell, Alexander Nikolaevich.

A month passed, we also met every day with Alexander Nikolaevich in the park, we talked a lot, dreamed about the future, made plans. They even imagined our life together in the future. Laughing, having fun, enjoying every second spent together.
I was very interested with him, he was such a well-read person, he studied philosophy, psychology. He was fond of literature, he even dedicated a poem to me, I was happy. Interestingly, my falling in love did not affect me badly, many girls, falling in love, completely lose their heads, they obviously don’t feel like studying. But in my case, everything was completely different. On the contrary, I tried to improve myself, read a lot, diligently prepared for exams, because I had an incentive.
Once, when we were walking in the park with him, we talked a lot about the meaning of life, our destiny, fate, happiness.
- Marina, I am very happy that I have you. But you see, this happiness seems crystal clear to me, you know, it feels like it can break at any moment. Marina, these thoughts hurt me so much. I'm so afraid of losing you, I want to always be with you, only with you.
- Alexander Nikolaevich, why these thoughts, everything will be fine, the main thing is we are together, I believe nothing will interfere with our happiness, do not be sad, I ask you.
- Marisha, you are the best, I believe your words.

I stopped communicating with Dima altogether, he did not make contact at all. He changed a lot, behaved very aggressively. Once in a history lesson, I was surprised by his behavior. Alexander Nikolaevich conducted a survey on the past topic, selectively asked students, first he asked questions to my classmate Serezha, then he asked Dima.
- Dima, please tell me what you know about the Cold War and the split of Europe.
- Alexander Nikolaevich, I'm not going to say anything, ask our Marinochka, for example, in my opinion, she should know this very well, because your additional classes with her should not go unnoticed. Is not it?
I remember that at that moment, I felt a little uneasy, Dima looked at me with a very evil look, smiling maliciously. With his gaze, he seemed to turn me out. I realized that he suspected my relationship with the history teacher. In the class, everyone quietly laughed, I even somehow felt sorry for myself and Alexander Nikolayevich.
- Dima, but I did not ask Marina, but you, and why are you talking to me in such a tone. After all, I’m still your teacher, I’m older than you, so if you please, don’t talk to me in raised tones.
Then Alexander Nikolaevich never got an answer from Dima, he was openly, violently opposed to the teacher.

One evening, when I was walking home from Anya, I met Dima near the entrance. He sat on a bench with a bouquet of flowers, he smiled. I was even delighted, I thought that he no longer holds a grudge against me and wants to make peace.
Marisha, hi. How are you doing? Here, these flowers are for you.
- Thank you, Dima, unexpectedly.
- Nu that you, Marina. Let's go for a walk, do you mind?
- Yes with pleasure.
- Marina, how are you doing? How are you? We haven't talked in such a long time.
- Indeed, we stopped talking at all. Still, what beautiful flowers, in general, my favorite, you guessed it.
- And I wonder if he gives you flowers?
- Who is he?
- Do not pretend, you know perfectly well who I am talking about, of course, our irreplaceable historian.
- How do you know.
Imagine, I know. I even confess to you, I followed you. Yes Yes. I saw with my own eyes how you meet, how you hug. Or is it normal, maybe everything is so male teachers flirting with their students. I don’t know, you tell me, your relationship does not go beyond what is permitted, beyond the limits of the usual relationship between a teacher and a student. A? Is not it?
- Stop, please.
- You broke up with me because of him, you never liked me, you were always in love with him. And I was just so that no one would suspect that our Marinochka was in love with the teacher, she was afraid that they would be condemned. Yes?
Yes, I love him, he loves me. Dima, please, but forgive me.
- You are stupid, but for a long time he needs you, then you will, he will use you and leave you, and you will suffer. You know that such relationships do not end well.
- Dima, I can't hear it, Dima, I beg you, let me go, I don't love you, let's remain friends, I beg you very much!
- Why did you leave me? After all, I love you a hundred times more than him! Yes, I know I'm selfish, yes I know, but I can't help it, I'm obsessed with you. I can neither eat nor sleep, I think about you all the time, it seems to me that I am going crazy, becoming some kind of mentally deranged.
- Dima, Dima.
At that moment, I went up and hugged him, we both cried like little children sobbing, I was terribly sorry for Dima, he was very close to me, it felt like he was my brother. At that moment, he had such a pitiful look, tears literally flowed down his cheeks in a stream, it was clear that he was ashamed of his tears, but emotions overwhelmed him, he could no longer stop. I and everyone are used to seeing him so strong, always cheerful, courageous, but today, I was probably the first person who saw him in such a state.
We calmed down, then we stood for a long time, heads down, silent. People passing by looked at us like we were strange, but I didn't care about them. At that moment, I thought only about Dima, about how painful he was.
- My God, what a mattress I am. Damn it, Marina, please forgive me, I said all sorts of nonsense. I'm sorry. It won't happen again. Well, we will remain friends, I will no longer interfere with you, I will not seek you. I will reconcile. I know that you really love him, I hope that this is mutual and everything will be fine with you. Once again, forgive me. I will go.
Dima, Dima, poor Dima, and he loved me very much. It’s a pity for him, of course, but you can’t command the heart.

Here came May, the last month of study remained. Everything was fine, spring, everything comes to life, nature wakes up, everything is great. Everything is fine with Alexander Nikolayevich, we made peace with Dima, sometimes we talked, called each other. But this idyll did not last long.
One day, when I came home from school, I noticed that my mother was in some kind of nervous tension, she was nervous.
- Mom, what's wrong with you? Are you weird? Problems at work?
- No, daughter, it is I who should ask, what is the matter with you? Do you have a head on your shoulders?
I immediately understood what my mother meant, I realized that someone had informed her about my relationship with Alexander Nikolayevich.
- What are you doing?! How could you contact your own teacher? My God, what an absurdity! Shame and shame! I just now found out about it, although everyone around already knows about it. Daughter, I did not expect this from you, you upset me terribly. And this historian, does he even have a drop of mind at all ?! What is he doing? How can you call him a teacher after that! Such teachers should not be allowed to have students at all. Silly you my child, because he just confused your head. How naive are you!
- Mom, I love him, and he loves me!
- Throw these thoughts out of my head until I told my father everything, if he finds out, you will definitely not be healthy. I hope you think it over now, follow my advice. I forbid you to see him again. I hope that he will definitely be expelled from school, I will do everything for this. I said everything. Now, don't cry, calm down. Clean yourself up, your dad should be here soon, he shouldn't see you like this if you don't want him to find out.

It was very difficult for me, because on the contrary, I counted on the support of my parents, I thought they would be able to understand me, it never occurred to me what could be now. “Is it possible that we will be separated, because it will not be fair,” I thought then.
The following days at school were simply terrible, all the students, classmates openly laughed at me, said something behind my back, even the teachers looked askance at me, clearly despised me. And Alexander Nikolaevich generally walked like a dead man, he was very depressed. As it became known to me later, our chemist Svetlana Grigoryevna had disheveled our relationship with everyone, because of her unrequited love for Alexander Nikolayevich, she decided to take revenge on him, and she also told her parents about everything.
I needed to talk with Alexander Nikolaevich, I had to decide something. We agreed to meet at our place in the park.
I was able to sneak out of the house and run to him. We talked about what we should do, he firmly decided that he would go to my parents, talk to them, explain everything to them himself, tell them about his serious intentions about me.
He came to our house the next evening, his parents met him, expressing all their dislike for him, they asked me to go out for a walk so that I would not interfere. I was all in suspense, the worst thing is the unknown, I did not know the course of their conversation.
After an hour, Alexander Nikolayevich left the entrance, he smiled, but it was clear that sadness was hidden under his smile, I noticed that he was upset.
- Alexander Nikolaevich, you talked to your parents, what did you decide? Are they against our relationship? Alexander Nikolaevich, don't be silent.
- Marisha, I talked to your parents, they are wonderful, they love you very much.
Let's talk later, sun, go home. They are waiting for you at home. Farewell, see you tomorrow.

I thought that the houses would now collapse on me, they would shout, scold, but what is interesting, on the contrary, there was absolute silence, my mother was spinning something in the kitchen, my father was reading a newspaper. They obviously didn't want to talk to me. I was in complete uncertainty, I didn’t know what would happen now, I couldn’t sleep all night, those days I was always in some kind of tension, I lost my appetite, there was insomnia.

The next day at school, I could not find Alexander Nikolaevich anywhere, he was not at the lessons either. At an English lesson, the teacher asked me to go to the teacher's room and hand over some information. In the corridor I met Alexander Nikolaevich, he was going to go into the director's office. I ran up to him, asked what was the matter, he just smiled and said in a whisper: “I love you!” and went to the director.
- Natalya Dmitrievna, they called.
- Yes, Alexander Nikolaevich. Come on in. Have a seat. And I called you about this. You know perfectly well what rumors are circulating about you at school, everyone is talking about you and Marina Simonova. Tell me, please, is it true? Or is it still a rumor?
- Yes it's true. These are true facts.
- Alexander Nikolaevich, you seem to be not a stupid person, everyone respects you in our school, the students love you. And you, like this. You have a head on your shoulders, she's a child after all.
You are a teacher, this is not pedagogical of you. And the fact that you are in a very close relationship with her, is that too, right? You're subject to criminal liability, the girl is not an adult.
- At the expense of close relationships, this is a lie. In terms of this, I still have a head on my shoulders, I did not intend and do not intend to enter into a close relationship with her. I don’t want to ruin her life, Marina is very dear to me, in relation to her, I don’t have any such vulgar intentions. I understand everything, I understand. For her sake, I am ready for anything, even to leave her, if it is necessary for her good. Don't think that I decided to use it.
- Of course, beautiful words, it would be nice if they were not empty. But, you understand that you have already ruined your reputation. Everyone has a far from good opinion of you.
- Yes, I understand.
- You know how students and their parents will treat you now. As you will now work in our school, everyone is already pointing the finger at you, condemning you. You not only spoil your reputation, but, in general, the school. Our school is quite prestigious in our city, famous for its good teachers, good students.
- I understand everything, I know what you're getting at. Okay, I'm going to write a voluntary resignation letter right now. I know I can't work here anymore. You're right, I shouldn't desecrate your school.
- Yes, Alexander Nikolaevich, it will be the right decision on your part. Of course, I don't want to lose such a good teacher. But, it will be better for you too. My advice to you, you go back to your hometown. Start a new life, you will be accepted there, quality teachers are needed everywhere.
- Thanks for the advice, here's the application, take it. I was pleased to work at your school, really good team, students. Farewell, Natalia Nikolaevna.
- Farewell.

I sat through all the lessons, as if on a needle, all the time I thought about Alexander Nikolayevich, why he went to the director, what would happen now. At school that day I didn’t meet him again, I didn’t even know then that he quit.
The next day I found out that he no longer works at the school, for me it was a shock, everything seemed to be rolling into some kind of abyss, I understood that I was losing him.
At home, I finally got the truth, my parents said that they talked with Alexander Nikolayevich, explained to him that we cannot be together, that we are not a couple, that nothing will come of our relationship. Then, I was quite depressed.
For several days I had not seen Alexander Nikolaevich, I wanted to go to him, secretly from my parents, but I did not dare.
One evening, dad came into my room, said he wanted to have a serious talk with me.
- Daughter, my mother and I talked for a long time, we came to a decision. Marina, we understand that you are very attached to Alexander Nikolayevich, no matter how we try to resist it. You know, we realized that Alexander Nikolaevich is a good, decent person. He obviously loves you too. In general, my mother and I do not want to hurt you, because you are offended by us. We decided that you can meet with Alexander Nikolayevich.
- Dad!
- Wait, I didn't finish. But if, God forbid, he hurts you or offends you, I will personally turn his head, forgive the expression. I hope it doesn't come to this. Only, I ask you, daughter, do not lose your head, please.
- Dad, I'm so happy, I love you and mom so much. I'm so glad you understand me. Allow me to go to him, tell him everything, please.
- All right, but only for a short time, back and forth.
As emotions overwhelmed me at that moment, I ran to Alexander Nikolayevich, to tell him the good news, because now there were no barriers, now we could be together without any problems. I didn’t even notice how I was already near his house, my heart was beating so fast at that moment, I couldn’t breathe, I just ran very fast.
I called his apartment, a man opened the door, he looked very sleepy, I think I woke him up.
- Hello, does Alexander Nikolaevich live here? He is at home?
- Well, yes. He rented my apartment. And he left.
- How? Where did you go?
- He left for good, to his hometown, yesterday evening he sped away. And who are you?
- Me, me, Marina.
- Ah, so you are the same Marina. The girl he loved?
- Yes it's me.
- He left, left, is unlikely to return. And he talked a lot about you, he loves you very much. He admired you. Yes, sorry for you, you are not destined to be together.
- He left. Why? You didn't even warn me? Didn't even say goodbye?
By the way, I forgot. He left a letter for you, asked me to pass it on, gave me your address. Tomorrow I was going to bring it to you, and now you have already visited yourself. Here, take the letter.
I left the entrance, printed out the letter, I remember how my hands were shaking, I read this letter and burst into bitter tears. Here is what was written there:
“Marie, Marisha, Marinochka, my bottomless love. I am writing you a letter. I'm leaving forever, I'm leaving for my native city, then I'll go somewhere else, wherever my eyes look. My love, you can't imagine the pain I'm leaving you with, but such is life. You have to pay for everything in this life. And now I will pay for the happy time spent with you, I’m even crying already, because I’m losing you.
I love you, I'm ready to repeat these words, at least a million times, because for me it's just a pleasure. Thank you for everything, thank you, in general, for being you, for loving me, giving me your love.
You know, Marisha, more than once I was ready to spit on everything, pick you up and take you somewhere far away, where it would be only you and me, and no one interfered with our happiness. I could not leave even now, stay in this city, I would also continue to meet with you, but, you know, it’s impossible, it’s impossible. You know, after talking to your parents, I realized that I have no right to go against their will. Marina, they really love you, they wish you happiness, you are very dear to them. Yours are just amazing. Maybe they are right that we need to leave, although, of course, it hurts a lot. They think about your future, they care about you. Love them, Marina, do not be offended by them, do not think that they separated us, it's just life. Everything in life can be, suddenly you fall in love with another, new feelings will appear, because love is not always alone in life, that is, not love, but falling in love, because true love happens only once in a lifetime. But parents - they are the same for everyone, they cannot be replaced, they are not replaceable, you need to love them, cherish them. You see, I don’t have such happiness, I don’t have a real family, I don’t have parental warmth, after my grandmother’s death, I don’t have anyone left, because my father doesn’t need me anyway, he has his own life. And you know how sometimes you want real parental warmth, to return to childhood, just to sit in the circle of your own family, to see how happy everyone is, how everyone loves each other. I beg you, listen to your parents, they think that we need to leave, so they are right.
You are wonderful, you are a wonderful, amazing person. I've never met someone like you and I know and probably never will. I am madly in love with you, like a small child, I rejoiced at our every meeting, every look of yours, every word.
I beg you, forgive me for everything, maybe I caused you some suffering, pain.
Forgive me for leaving you like this, but, understand, it will be better this way. I didn't even dare to meet you myself and say goodbye face to face. You see, but I would simply not stand it, and I would hurt you too.
In general, farewell, Marina. Despite everything, I still love you. I hope that maybe someday we will meet with you, and just remember with a smile what happened between us, because, probably, it’s not in vain that they say that the earth is round. Farewell, sorry."

I could not even imagine that it could be so, I didn’t even have tears, I just cried everything. I realized that nothing can be changed, indeed, life is like that, you have to pay for everything.

I graduated from high school, entered the Faculty of History, graduated from the university with honors. In general, life went on as usual, everything was fine, my career was going uphill, I achieved a lot, everything was going well. I married a good man, we met at the same faculty.
When Alexander Nikolaevich left, my parents thought that I would make peace with Dima. But by the will of fate, it turned out that Dima died, crashed in the car. I never met Alexander Nikolayevich again, apparently not destined. Someone said that he went somewhere to the Urals. Someone said that he got married, that he had children. But for sure, no one really knew. I have not received any letters or news from him. I was able to accept, I was able to start life without him. But I know that I will never forget him, he was my true love, to be honest, I still love him, I will always remember the time spent with him, only with a slight sadness, but memories of him are always very pleasant . I consider this time the happiest in my life.
And let it all end so sadly, let us part. But there was happiness, there was love, and this is the main thing. After all, there is nothing stronger than love. We need to love each other, give each other warmth, and in spite of everything, believe in the best.