How to let a person out of his thoughts: advice from a psychologist. A simple way to let a person out of his thoughts. Psychologist's advice

How to let go? This is a question that worries individuals who have experienced a difficult life situation and wish to quickly find its solution. Not every individual understands the meaning of how to let go of a situation. Some individuals believe that this is fundamentally impossible, it will haunt them constantly. However, the individual still has hope, and he is zealous to find an answer, how to let go of the situation, how to start living anew, and stop worrying about painful things? If a person often thinks about this, then she should gather her strong-willed efforts and let go of the exciting situation forever.

A person seeking to understand how to learn to let go of the situation must first analyze his problem. You need to concentrate on it and take it apart, think about what specifically worries:, unspokenness, hidden feelings (, resentment).

A person trying to figure out how to let go of a situation should know: no matter how old this situation is, a year, a month or a couple of days, if it does not leave you alone, then it makes sense for a person. A person living in past events will not be able to calmly continue to live and build the future.

To let go of the situation, you should think carefully and then decide what can be done now with this problem, which can produce results right now. The main thing is not to be inactive, because in this way the situation will drag on, and it will be even harder to let her go.

To let go of the situation, you should muster up the courage and do everything necessary to help let go of forcing feelings, if earlier at the right moment a person was afraid, did not want to, did not dare to say or do what was right. It will be possible to let go of the problem when a person dares to do everything necessary for this.

Sometimes, in order to let go of a problem situation, you need to distract yourself from it. One should think why, due to the current situation, a person cannot experience personal happiness, live a free life, is life really so monotonous that there is nothing to do but reproach oneself.

You should not assume that life will become better, solely with the achievement of a specific goal or if a certain person is nearby. The thought that it is impossible to be happy without this will not allow a person to personally grow and develop further, all the more, negative thoughts will only stall a person. It is necessary to believe that everything will turn out for the best, as time passes, and with it all feelings are smoothed out, anger passes, resentment does not seem so serious.

In order to change life, correct mistakes, let go of the situation, one should be in an upbeat good mood, because a person is trying to change everything for the better, which means a positive result. Optimism is not an indicator of a person's frivolity, as some people think, it allows him to be firm in his intentions, strengths, and therefore understand his main goal and task well.

Many are unable to let go of the situation, they live it, feed on the sensations that they experience, scrolling through certain moments in their heads each time. These people are dependent on external factors, therefore they are unable to let go of their situation and find a solution to it.

Of course, a problematic situation can be oppressive, so you should allow yourself to become happy. To do this, you should sincerely forgive yourself for failures and past mistakes, let them go. It is necessary to realize that mistakes or actions brought experience. It is worth letting go of the past and starting to live again, relying on the foundation of past mistakes, let in the light and fill your life with it.

How to let go - psychology

During a showdown, people become very emotional, strong feelings overwhelm them, and people no longer find out, but each prove their case, without hearing the interlocutor and often pronouncing the thoughts that appear in the head, which the individuals themselves do not give an account. This is how problems are born that become more significant than the original ones.

How to learn to let go of the situation and stop thinking about the situation all the time for a certain time to refresh your thoughts. The more you think and “rethink” a situation, the more complex and confusing it will seem. Remembering various details, a person will become more and more angry or sad. This will make the situation worse, and certainly will not help to let it go and fix it.

When they calm down, people realize that they have said too much. Therefore, it is better to try to prevent this moment from the very beginning. This requires strong self-control and attentiveness in order to feel when the situation begins to heat up and stop in time.

Following how we abstracted a little from the problematic situation that you want to let go, you need to look at it in a new way. A good way is to play the situation in your mind, on the part of the observer, in order to analyze well your own words and emotions, and the words of the other side.

To let go of a conflict situation, you need to understand the interlocutor, which he was guided by when he behaved hostilely. Perhaps he then had personal problems that he was worried about, so he was angry and poured out all his negativity on you. He could even be tired, sick or anxious, so you should not immediately perceive his malicious statements or actions on yourself.

How to let go of the situation and not think about it in this case? You should imagine yourself standing in the place of the interlocutor. It can be assumed that it is also difficult for him and he is worried, because he himself did not expect that the situation would take a similar outcome.

In how to let go of the situation and begin to live on without resentment, forgiveness very often helps. If it is difficult to immediately talk to a person, you can mentally imagine how you ask for forgiveness. It is necessary to imagine it as vividly as if it is now in front of your eyes. It doesn’t matter who started the quarrel first, and if a person is worried about the situation that has happened and he wants to let it go, then certain steps need to be taken. It is worthwhile to evoke the most sincere feelings in yourself, to apologize from the bottom of your heart, to say that he also forgives and does not hold evil and resentment.

It is necessary to do this until a feeling of lightness and freedom overtakes, it should bring relaxation and calmness with it. When you manage to reach this state, you will be able to let go of the situation.

This method well helps to let go of the situation, contributes to the resumption of relations after the conflict and liberation from negative feelings. After a “trial” forgiveness in absentia, you should dare to meet or talk on the phone, try to start a conversation, ask for forgiveness already “live”. It is worth doing this to finally let go of the situation.

How to let go of the situation - advice from a psychologist:

Wrong beliefs must be abandoned. Many of their actions spoil their personal lives. You should not hold on to old principles and beliefs that prevent you from adequately contacting people and be afraid to let them go.

People value principles so much that they make critical mistakes because of them, part with their loved ones. It is worth admitting to yourself that no one else is to blame for this. If everyone points out to the individual that one cannot be so principled in a relationship, then one must be less categorical. It is required to admit that they made a mistake and let go of beliefs and categorical principles, to be simpler, then the world will change.

How to let go of the situation and the person from the heart and thoughts

If a person experiences for a long time through the current situation, through the departure of a person, it means that he has complexes, he is indecisive, has too much, experiences feelings of guilt and resentment.

To let go of the situation, you need to get rid of these qualities and allow yourself a happy life.

What does it mean to let go of the situation and let go of the person? You need to understand that letting go means living without memories of a person, thanking for a new experience, putting an end to it if nothing good is already “sticking together”. We must learn to live again, fully. It is necessary to work out your own feelings, and not just accept the doomed and live on with gloomy thoughts.

The negative experiences that have accumulated inside, as a result of parting, must find a way out, so the first thing to do is to let them go - cry, do it once, but very thoroughly, so that you feel empty inside and no longer want to cry when remembering these experiences.

How to let go of a situation in a relationship with a man? It is required to consciously evaluate how these relations proceeded, throw off your “rose-colored glasses”, look at these relations from a different angle. Of course, every woman wants her relationship with a man to be the most ideal, but some disagreements, quarrels and misunderstandings still occur. Therefore, it is worth remembering precisely these unpleasant times, not idealizing the “former” as the only and best.

If a woman is concerned about the question of how to let go of the situation in a relationship with a man, you can use one psychotherapeutic method. All disturbing thoughts and exciting emotions should be expressed by writing a letter. Allow yourself a free flow of thoughts, it is necessary to express what is painful. This technique contributes to the fact that a person gets from inside all the hidden feelings that do not give rest, do not allow to experience joy. In this way, she can let go of all emotions, and no one will be offended.

It is necessary to address a specific person, to write what you want to say, without thinking about whether it is good or bad, not to hide, not to conceal. It's just undesirable to send it, since it will not bring anything good, here the meaning of the method is different. After finishing writing a letter, it must be destroyed, torn, burned or thrown away, and the disturbing thoughts should be released with it.

To let go of a person, it is worth removing all objects reminiscent of him (things, gifts), so as not to cry later, remembering the lost moments. Regrets must be discarded. If earlier you had to worry about your partner, devote less time to your needs, now you can become more self-centered, think more about yourself, personal needs that never had the opportunity to be realized once. Find new grounds for joy. This will help you let go of the situation, drive your sad and negative thoughts away.

In order not to feel, it is worth enlisting the support of friends, they will find the necessary words, you just have to listen to them a little.

Forgetting the past will help understanding that it is necessary to organize your future, to dream, even without a specific person, it will definitely be.

Almost every individual experienced a feeling of unrequited love. To make it easier to let go of a person from thoughts, you need to realize that since he rejected the offer of love, you should have pride and you should not constantly impose yourself on him, and again experience rejection, because of which you are even more upset every time. You need to develop self-respect. If a person learned about feelings, but did not immediately respond to them, then you should take a neutral position. It is necessary to let go of expectations so that they do not accidentally collide with a reality that is completely different from what one imagines. It is important to be a little philosophical, to think that there is a time for everything, and also to reflect that it is impossible for one person to belong to another if he does not have mutual feelings for him.

In order to let go of the situation in a relationship, it’s not at all worth idealizing the chosen one, because he, like all people, has flaws, so you should objectively evaluate them and focus on them. Over time, it will begin to seem that he is not as good as he seemed at first. It is necessary to stop all contacts and communications with him, the less something reminds him of him, the faster he will be able to let go.

The human psyche has the ability to recreate pleasant memories of life in memory, which can give a person a good state, liberation from anger and resentment, accumulated negativity over the years, which allows you to mentally relax. This state resembles the state of meditation, which immerses the individual in relaxation, gives balance and serenity, something that is very necessary for everyone, especially when a person has problems and intends to let go of them, leaving peace in the soul.

To be a healthy, strong, more balanced person, to be able to let go of the situation, you need to regularly plunge into such a relaxed state. Disconnect the body from all the everyday fuss, problems and conflicts, let go of all the accumulated bad and disturbing thoughts about an unworthy person.

Almost everyone often forgets about themselves while worrying about others. Thus, he is governed by erroneous stereotypes, which almost always diverge from internal rhythms. It is worth worrying more about yourself, personal health and watching what others contribute to your life, then if they do not bring sincere joy with happiness, then it is better to let them go from your heart.

How to let go in a relationship

In life, there are various situations in relationships that need to be forgotten. For example, if a partner betrayed or cheated and does not come out to forgive this person, then you should forget him and let him go. Has he not done enough in a relationship for this to become his punishment?

To make it easier to let go of the situation in a relationship, one should take into account the existing facts, everything that has happened and is happening before. For example, you said goodbye to your partner, even if without scandals, and a little later you begin to think how bad it is without him, but he himself does not think to return, then the conclusion suggests itself - let go and live on without focusing on him.

Once a person begins to think again, to remember him, but if such thoughts leave, then the individual will see that it is still possible to live without him. You should give yourself a clear attitude to let go of the situation, not to think about your ex. Fixation on the past can interfere with the creation of a happy family, in building new plans. The sooner a person understands this, the sooner he can create a new life.

Many individuals consider it right that after a breakup, it is worth getting rid of feelings, but by doing this they drag themselves even more into this love again. It is necessary to allow yourself these feelings for a while, but set aside time for them, not to cry all the time, but to do, as always, your urgent business, but at the appointed time to cry, swear. Thus, a person learns self-control.

If he knows for sure that he allows himself to remember a person at a set time, he will eventually get tired of it. During the day, he does business, so he cannot be distracted by extraneous thoughts, and in the evening, after all the affairs at home, he will want to psychologically relax, and not grieve. Since the ex is better without you around, then you will become a happy person without him.

When a person tries to solve a problem, tries various options, but fails to do it, then it is best to let go of the situation, i.e. let it take its course, let it resolve itself. It often happens that while the individual does not fuss, his feelings are smoothed out, and he forgets the thoughts that disturbed him before. Therefore, time is considered the best doctor. You should stop controlling the situation and observe the current situation.

Getting to the bottom, assessing the situation, you can reveal the relationship and make yourself understand - these failed relationships had no future. If it had happened otherwise, then they would have ended differently, logically. So, it’s worth letting go of the situation easily.

If you can’t let go of the situation on your own, then you should enlist the support of a psychologist who will help solve current problems and difficulties, teach you how to deal with them.

An individual who loves not only himself, will not limit anyone and adjust his behavior to fit his beliefs. Because no one owes anything to anyone, even if at first he promised to love forever. It's just that one person attached importance to these promises, and the other said them, but was not going to keep. You should not cling to a person, and for something that does not converge with the course of your life, since this is fraught with big problems, it is better to let him go. We must learn to keep balance, because everything flows and changes.

Let go of the situation does not give fear, it is also worth getting rid of. You need to accept the truth and be grateful for it. Letting go with gratitude for the experience in the relationship, which was accompanied by tears and laughter, which helped to grow internally. In order to forget a painful memory, it is necessary to accept what is now, what was, to realize one's possibilities. You need to find the strength to accept all life changes, trust your intuition and appreciate the achievements. Any experience is invaluable, only by understanding this you can continue your confident successful path.

When problems appear, it is always a test. This is a kind of test of readiness for life changes and risk. If the situation changes, do not be afraid of this, and take steps back, you should only go forward. Because life is moving forward and you have to let go of the old.

Asking yourself how to let go of the situation in a relationship, you need to tell yourself that you should stop clinging to them, and live your future. When a person manages to forget about the past, then in the soul where significant relationships used to take place, a void forms, and in order not to feel it so strongly, it is necessary to fill it with communication. Make new acquaintances, reunite with former friends and relatives, and, closing from the rest, a person will feel unhappy.

Hello, help with advice, we lived together for 4 years, after 3.5 years I made a beautiful proposal with friends at a wedding, then this friend went to work in another city and only his wife remained here. My martyr often went to her, as they always communicated very well, sometimes I also went with him, everything was fine, but then on his birthday everyone drank a lot and I caught them kissing. There was a big scandal, she kicked me out of the house with things, he came, asked for forgiveness, said that he would never do this again, they say, he was a fool, he drank too much, he himself does not know what came over him. Before, I always trusted him and he didn’t even give reasons for jealousy, I was happy that I had finally found a worthy man. I cried a lot, there were tantrums, it’s very sad that he betrayed me, he saw it all. He lost a friend who left to work, this friend and his wife decided not to get divorced. And everything is messed up with us, now we don’t see each other, because he says that it hurts him to look into my eyes, it hurts that he caused me so much suffering, yesterday we broke up completely, because I can’t sit and wait for him to come to his senses, it’s not a fact that he will then decide to continue to be together. But I wrote to him that I forgive him. Why is he beating himself up like this? Is there any point in hoping that everything will work out for us, I’m sure that I want to be with him, but I can’t say anything for him, unfortunately, he says that he doesn’t know anything himself, and now only guilt gnaws at him. He did not want to leave, he said that if fate means we will be together, he asked for time.

• Hello Irina. It is possible that your man rethought what happened and he would not have acted soberly. From the outside, he appreciated all the pain that he caused you and considers himself unworthy to be with you. It's easier for him. Until he forgives himself, there will be no reunion.

Good evening. After reading everything, I decided to write. The situation is this. I have family. He has too. We work in the same industry, but live in different cities. He is 12 years younger. Everything was normal, work and all. And suddenly butterflies flared up inside me. I really want this person. I've been thinking about him every day for almost a year now. In principle, we are in touch 24 hours a day, but only for work. And so I decided to hint to him that I was working with him not because of business, but in order for him to be around for some time. He pretended not to understand, although there were tears in my eyes. He has a principle that if he works with someone, then no, no. In networks, he reposts my photos to his page. There are more of my photos than all the rest together. And how am I to understand this? I'm not going to intermeddle in his family, I just madly want not only intimacy, just warm, affectionate words. What to do? Thanks in advance for your reply.

Good evening. Please tell me if it’s possible to make peace with a girl after such a conflict, in short, it was like this - we met with a girl for 4 years, she kept hinting that I should make her proposals, but I was silent and silent, saying please be patient a little, everyone began to live together, and then she recently tells me that you can spend the night with your mother, I need to think, I went well to my mother and spent the night. He left for work in the morning, worked for the day, and in the evening I took her from work, and then she writes to me on VK for me, I don’t have to come, I’ll come myself. In the evening, she writes to me to pick up things, we all disagree with you, I thought up my mind all night and I won’t change my decision, I tell her forgive me, let’s start all over again, she doesn’t, well, she asked everything, she begged in no way, she took everything, left. Two days later I bought her a ring, flowers for her and my mother-in-law, and I wanted to propose, but she was not at home. I was driving from work by bus, well, without hesitation, I went to my mother-in-law and gave flowers to my mother-in-law, talked to my mother-in-law, like how should I be with my girlfriend, will she forgive me or not. The mother-in-law says Valerie, I’ll talk to her, don’t worry, okay, I started to hope, then my mother-in-law writes to me, she doesn’t want to and she’s crying all over, I had her very first boyfriend, and maybe I will (((then my girlfriend calls me back herself and says come to me, talk to you, okay, I came and talked, I give her a ring and say marry me, she cries a lot no I won’t go and that’s it, then I still persuaded her so that she I put the ring on everything, I put it on her hand and left, then she calls me back and says give me a month if I feel bad without you, we will get together, and if not, then we will all say goodbye, I’m fine with her.Two days pass, I went to the store where she works, I knew that she was resting that day, and everyone came to the store and there she saw me, she came to her girls, she saw me again burst into tears all over and left. Tell me to wait for a positive answer or she is already set to part (((thanks in advance for the answer

• Good evening, Valery. Your girlfriend herself does not understand what is happening to her or understands, but does not want to voice the problem. We recommend that you leave her in your thoughts, do not disturb, but if there is a desire to renew the relationship, in two months you can “accidentally” meet her, take an interest in her life. One month is not enough, but two months will be enough for the girl to understand herself, her feelings and whether she wants to be with you. Then again you can raise this topic by inviting you on a date, where to create a romantic atmosphere, thereby laying the foundation for new courtship for her. For two months, do not call or write to her - let her "cook" in her experiences on her own. Be cold. This will make her miss you. Women do not always appreciate who persistently "runs" after them. You can answer her SMS (with restraint, politeness, without specifics), but do not write first.

Hello. My situation, in my opinion, is not very serious, but does not let go. When I was 16 years old, I met a guy older than me, well, they met nothing more, broke up on his initiative, met another, and our relationship was at a distance. There was no meaning, but there was passion). They broke up without seeing each other, the guy and this girl got married.
They lived happily. after a while we had to meet, a common company. I am with my current husband, mutual friends and they. I calmly treated them as one whole, but the girl's behavior surprised me. She ignored me, if she took pictures, then so that I was not in the photo, well, everything like that. As time passed they gave birth. A year later, I have a wedding, pregnancy and suddenly the attitude of this girl changes. She invites all her friends to visit, including us. We talked surprisingly normally for a while, but one day, being in the world, she let me know that she could not even imagine that one of her husband’s ex-girlfriends would sit in front of her ... Everything turned upside down for me at that moment. For me, her words sounded different - she saw his ex in me all this time. My trust in her began to disappear. Then I began to notice that she began to imitate me in the choice of clothes, in the photo poses repeating mine, and her attitude towards me became “from above”. And now I'm 25, for a long time I was afraid to interrupt this communication with them, but I understood that there was nothing good in them for me. Even remembering our trips to them, I persuaded myself to go and always doubted. She began to get rid of it gradually, and provocations on her part pushed, first from the social network, deleted it, because she began to annoy. Then we stopped seeing each other. It seems to me that I began to hate her, apparently this is an insult for her words and actions, far from everything I have described here. Maybe she didn't do it on purpose, but still not pleasant. I want to tell her what I think about her, but I also don’t want to show things off. Now for some reason I think about it all the time, I'm tired, but I still think, I understand that everything is enough, but the thought does not leave me. Although I deleted it from social networks, I wanted to get rid of it, but in the end I myself observe their life and began to compare myself with it, I want them to disappear forever from my life, and I understand that everything is in my head. It seems to me that before she hated me and compared herself with me, but now it’s the other way around. In general, here.

Hello. I read all the above stories .. But I have a different one. I dated a married man for three and a half years. The relationship was one-sided - he had a good family, he was a fan of being very young in his youth. I am 53 years old, he is the same age. We met for intimacy, but I painted “love” in my pink glasses, which was not on his side at all. We already swore and reconciled several times. He always returned, he was affectionate, but after two or three months he again became cruel and harsh. parting. I didn’t like how he behaved, I told him, he sharply replied that he might not come at all and was not going to dance around me. By nature, he is a rather cruel person. I have some kind of painful attachment to him that I want to break. And now we don’t communicate for several days. Prompt. t. He stopped at me, because it is beneficial from all sides. And I don’t know how to set myself up for rupture and neglect. Tell me a pill))

Hello, tell me how to drown out the pain.

Recently I found out that my beloved person lied to me, that he does not communicate and does not see the former, with whom I forbade communication.
And I also found out that when we broke up, there was one time, he slept with the former.
I consider this a betrayal, since he was in another city and we decided to renew our relationship and it was at that moment that he changed.
This truth came out by accident, the former herself said.
We love each other very much.
I forgave him, although it hurt a lot. This burden that betrayed me inside me...
I trusted him more than anyone else.
Of course, he regretted what happened between them then, he cried and just forgiveness ..
tried to make amends, made surprises.
I believe in his Love, and I myself love him more than life ..
His lies were only related to his ex.
So he never cheated on me and never lied to me.
I was very jealous of his ex, he was afraid to lose me, afraid to tell the truth, because when I found out that they once walked in a company and there was an ex, I beat him, broke his phone and much more ...
Sometimes emotions take over. I am very jealous of him.
But after all this, I’m afraid that I won’t be able to trust him anymore .. it hurts me that he betrayed me ...
how to start trusting again? How to let go of the pain? How should a guy behave? Tell me please

Hello. Can't let go of a work situation. I worked in the same place for a long time. Went on maternity leave. I really wanted to change my job, there were reasons for such a decision - the salary was average, and the team changed during my decree, and personal grievances there were small. And she made messages to the Universe, and made a map of desires - it worked! Offered a job with good prospects and salary. You have to quit your old job. I worked for two days and panicked. I had to stay late at work, I was not ready for this - I was not ready not to see my daughter for so long. Although she already went to kindergarten. I found a bunch of excuses and reasons for myself, and refused this job. Went out to the old one. And now I really regret it. Naturally, there is no way back to a new job. The company is serious, with its security service, they checked when applying for a job in all industries. How to let go of this situation? I go back to that day every day and make a decision in favor of a new job. I know that I am eating myself from the inside. I convince myself that everything that is done is for the best for me. Straight cats scratch at the soul.

• Hello Svetlana. You have to forgive yourself and accept the situation as it is. You cannot return the past, so there is no point in mentally returning to what worries your soul. The chance was good, but it is not the last one in your life. The child will grow up and you with a "light heart" will be able to devote time to finding a new job and building a career. In fact, the fact that you put the upbringing of your daughter as a priority, the opportunity to see how she grows is very good, because not spending time with your baby at all is unacceptable. Family and children are the main goal for which a person should spend all his strength.

Good afternoon. I am 45 years old. woman. severe depression. At first, my mother fell ill and I was so worried that I got Achalasia of the cardia from the nerves, for two years I was suffocating and did not eat, because the food came out with vomiting. did the operation. then the son finished school, prepared to enter the medical school. I was on unbearable nerves. son entered. I came down with depression. I didn’t have the strength to work, I didn’t pick up the phone, I couldn’t sleep and eat, I lay in a ball and cried all the time ... I didn’t want to see anyone. The anxiety started. I thought: he entered, and suddenly he won’t be able to study there. the heartache never left me. I started drinking Prosulpin (when I was diagnosed with Achalasia cardia) I was prescribed Prosulpin. first he helped me. 1 tab 50 mg. in the morning. They made me drink for the rest of my life. But I got a little better. I stopped drinking it. drunk for two years. five more years passed .. I didn’t have the strength to work, listen to music (if I listen to music, then some of the songs in my head drove me crazy all day. I couldn’t get rid of it). my mother fell ill again. I held on. drank again Prosulpin 50 mg. in the morning. Thank God my mother felt better, but I felt completely ill and, plus, my son began to quarrel a lot. Or rather, he is with me. I am always in a bad state. he began to say: it's disgusting to look at me, I'm not well-groomed, not combed, not made up. I can't bring myself to go outside, take my hand and talk to someone. I just don't want to. and it began to kill me that my son would soon marry and leave home. I have no more relatives, except for my son and parents. I began to fear old age and loneliness. these thoughts haunt me. I feel very bad. I want to get away from these thoughts. be in the mood. There is. prepare. wash the floors (I don’t do it now. I can’t. I don’t have the strength) for three days I don’t want to eat at all. began to drink Phenibut (0.5 each) in the morning. I drink for a week, and anxiety, uselessness does not go away to anyone. Doctor help me. I don’t want to go to the doctor, they simply don’t exist in Volgograd, they are worthy. Or I'm afraid that they will put me in the hospital. And my son won't forgive me at all. Please help me. what pills should i take? my height is 167 cm. weight is 78 kg. Gastritis.

• Milan, Hello, how are you? Have you gone to the doctor? You can call a psychologist to start, but be sure to do something. We are with you!

  Hello Milan, I really understand you. I am in a state of hell myself. I can not sleep, nothing pleases apathy. Weakness from lack of sleep and lethargy. There is no working capacity, but all because of nervous stress that lasted three months and turned into chronic. Do not despair. Try to overcome yourself. I also took pills but they only relieve the symptoms and do not cure. And now the pills do not save drank phenazep and grandax. I began to feel better after prayers, but I have little faith in me, which is why I suffer. The main thing is to believe that everything will be fine and it will be so.

And for me, the article teaches to be passive. if a person left you, then often it’s your fault, but here they offer to pout like a mouse on cereal, and no, don’t discuss, don’t try to fix it, but standing in a hole to dig it deeper with your loved one, so that because of some nonsense and pseudo-pride, instead of clarifying the situation and also critically assessing yourself, stand in a pose 2ax, you are with me, golden, so, then I’m with you like that, ”an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth like in 1st grade.

Hello! I have such a story. My name is A... I am 30 years old. Briefly about myself, I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I love sports, I’m a positive person, I was married, student love (they knew each other from 2006, and were married from 2011 to 2013, they lived with my parents, saved up for their apartment, but she was tired of my father’s booze and she put me before a choice: “Either she or my parents.” I didn’t follow her - as a result of divorce (February 2014), no children. strongly, because the love for this woman has passed.Life goes on, began to meet other girls, talked, met.On October 11, 2014, my father dies (he was not an easy man, a military man, he drank a lot, there were not easy relations with him ...) And on November 22, 2014, I accidentally met a girl M. The cyant comes up to us and says: “Can a girl sit down with you?” We answered - “Yes, of course.” I return from WC, and I suggest that she go to the cinema, she says that she already went, then I asked for a phone and she gave it to me.
The next day I called her and offered to go ice skating. Well, everything began to spin, spun: cinema, cafes. And during some conversation, she says that her birthday is October 31, 1988 (my father was born on this day, 1962), and I thought this was a sign from above.
She has her own apartment, the first sex with her is very fast (and this alerted me, everything happened very quickly, but everything went as it went). I didn’t tell her about my marriage, she didn’t ask. We spent the New Year together, I introduced her to my mother, she has not yet introduced her to hers, she simply said that a young man had appeared. A trip to Dubai was planned for April 2015. In mid-March, we were having dinner, and she asked me about the past, and I answered her that I was married. She immediately freaked out and started crying. It was on Sunday, spent the night and we parted for three days. On Wednesday, I decided to go to her work and was waiting for her not far from work, and then a text message comes in, she suggested that I meet. We sat in coffee, she was cold, sat on facebooke, said that if she didn’t want to be with me, she wouldn’t be sitting here. That evening we talked and talked about our exes (she said that she had three men, she was not married, I have one, the previous wife ... Yes, I am such a man, one woman) As a result, relations improved. The trip to Dubai took place, everything went perfectly. I gave her gifts, flowers, for no reason. I just wanted to make a person the happiest in the world, there were no gifts from her. Intimacy was regular, I gave her pleasure, went downstairs, she didn’t, she said that she had never done this, but I didn’t insist, I just accepted such a person as he is, and I fell in love with her and she told me that she loves me. Then she went on a business trip to Moscow, I came there, everything was fine. Then a trip to St. Petersburg. Everything was fine, they said that we love each other!
In June 2015 we buy a Dalmatian dog who was 1 month old, he becomes like a child for us. We care, train and grow it. We play and enjoy life.
In November 2015 I buy a car, a joint choice, I chose for a long time, she said that you didn’t want a car, she was nervous (of course I saved up for an apartment, but because I lived with her and everything went well, so I bought a car ... expensive, I bought it purely for my money, I never took a penny from her at all). We are going to Europe with a dog to her sister.
In December 2015 we are going to Italy, the mountains, Venice… Ehhh… it’s just hard to remember all this, we just enjoyed life.
In February 2016, a conversation took place why I didn’t make her an offer (and I was already ready to make it, but she doesn’t have the patience, you need everything at once), and on the same evening I buy her a silver ring (she loves silver), flowers and make an offer, she agrees! We tell our parents - everyone is happy, they didn’t talk about the wedding day.
A month goes by and she says she doesn't like the ring, she wants an engagement ring. As a result, I buy her an engagement ring, but not immediately.
In May 2016, she changes her job and moves to a more prestigious one, but at her previous job she needs to pay off a debt, the nth amount of money and for six months we live on my salary, we buy plumbing tiles for repairs in her apartment, all with our own money, we think about children, about the future. They already came up with a name for the child, they wanted a girl. She had no projects at her new place of work for four months, it was hard for her, and then they offered a trip to Kazakhstan (6 weeks there, 2 weeks at home, throughout the year), we talked, she really wanted to go, she is interested in this work, we will communicate every day Viber, skype. On November 7, she left for Atyrau, I moved out of the apartment with the dog and the renovation began.
There she began a different life, new colleagues, friends, going to cafes in the evening, trying Kazakh cuisine. I didn’t like it, but she said that everyone here is terrible and no one needs her except me, everything will be fine with us. He sent her flowers to Atyrau, she said that she was the happiest in the world.
I believe in God (she does not), went to church, prayed that everything would be fine, that no one would stand in front of us. In December, before NY, we spent a wonderful week in Astrakhan, but three days before departure, the dog ate my passport, although he could eat anything, shoes, clothes, but he ate my passport and I needed to quickly restore it, I managed to do it, and this was the first bell that I did not pay attention to.
On New Year's Eve, she came home. She paid the full amount to her old job and she had no debts.
New Year with parents, everything is fine. On January 7, he leaves again for Atyrau for 6 weeks, they planned a wedding for September 9. We thought about travel, children, about the future of our family. And then just signs began ... I had a dream, as if we were in the same class, but she was kissing some boy, then she was visiting him and said: “Let's get dressed quickly, I still have to walk with A ... (with me)” (later I just found out that when I had this dream, she started dating him).
Then one day, she didn’t write to me during the day, she said that there was no money on the phone, and in the evening I felt so bad. My heart was pounding that I called an ambulance for myself, although I had never called an ambulance before that in 30 years (as it turned out, on that day she met this person). I really feel this person. There were other signs...
On February 17, she arrives from another business trip (for the first time in my life I didn’t buy her a bouquet of flowers, I just didn’t) and I feel that she has changed. In the evening of the same day, she says that she is starting to forget me, I ask her who you have appeared, she says that there is no one. We decide to get married now, to strengthen feelings, we buy rings, a dress, a suit.
February 24 wedding, only parents. They were happy together, a smile on her face, a smile on mine, parents are happy.
On the morning of February 25, I open my passport, and I have an empty stamp in my passport. There is a stamp, but her name is not entered. And I ran to enter it.
On March 6, she leaves again for Atyrau and we agreed to meet in Almaty on March 19, a mini honeymoon trip.
On March 19, I arrive, she flies from Atyrau to Almaty, and I see that the person is completely different, and I find out that she had another, and she fell madly in love, like never before in her life, they had sex. (And he has already left Atyrau and will not be there again) I am in shock, I flew to my wife for 4000 km, and she told me this. And in a panic I say that I’m ready to forgive her, and she says that she wants to try with him, I’m like we have 2 years of such a life, and she and he want to try like candy. And he writes to her at the same time. She didn't want to destroy her family for him. They spoke calmly, did not beat, did not call names. I take the dog for myself, I say, and she even looks nothing, although she loved him very much. I left the next day. And two days later he flew to her from his city L ... And on April 14 she returned home.
Silence from her for a month, nothing at all. Communicated only with her parents, very good relations with them, both with the mother-in-law and with the father-in-law
On April 14, I decided to meet her at the airport, and see the first look after such a breakup. And saw. Why did you come, I wanted to offer to meet in the evening. I took her to her parents. In the evening we met. He says that he is very sorry, asks her to forgive her for what she did. And this person's first marriage (there is a child) did not take place, there is a second child (not planned) and he wants to restore this family, he does not promise anything to my wife. She says that she is not sure of him, does not trust, does not understand. And she is confident in me, trusts, knows that I will be a good father. When he wants to stay with me with me, but still wants to risk everything, put an end to his life and try with him, and he tells her that staying with me is right. We disagree. And if she comes back to me, then only on her knees. I let go, let him do what he wants, although it hurts a lot in my soul, it tears everything inside.
The next day at 15:00 she sends an SMS that she wants to make the right choice, she broke up with him, and wants me to help her cope with this, she wants to make the right choice. I come to her, I say yesterday we parted, and today it’s like this ... That I am a person, not a stone ... In the end - together. We are going to pick up the dog from my mother, and go to her apartment.
We have been trying to improve relations for a week, but I see that she is cold to me, so I will kiss no. There was no intimacy, he asked her to take tests.
It was the second week, I see that it does not make contact at all. On April 29, I’ll put it in her phone, and she corresponds with him, I collect things, she needs time to forget him. We talked and she told me to leave that she couldn't hurt me anymore. And the fact that she returned (for the pain she caused me), I must say thanks to her parents, who put pressure on her. When asked, tell me to my face that you don’t love me, she says she loves, but not like I love her. I take the dog away, but she doesn’t even want to hug, doesn’t want to say goodbye to him. I'm leaving...
Before leaving, I offered to meet, but she visited a psychologist, she felt better, she says that I let her go, I let her go, I don’t hold her, and finally she says that if I didn’t know her parents, it might turn out differently. I'm sorry, I'm getting on their nerves. Like this
Something like that. It hurts, my soul is torn to pieces, because I have sincere feelings for this person. I understand that there is no point in trying to return, you need to be glad that it happened now, and not when there were children, but damn people ... It's just a tin that I have inside ... If you can help with something, I will be grateful, thank you.

Ah .., I now understand that everything in my life is wonderful, except for financial well-being, of course. Since all the gaps are mainly due to this. You acted honestly, and as a man, this should indicate that the problem of lack of honor and dignity has been solved in your life. But it's harder for you to forget everything, because you've invested so much in it. Trust, love, care. I want to say that only by living day by day can you forget all this. A lot of time will pass. Don't even try to do it right away.

And ... - Hello!. I also suffered severely to the point of insanity, acquired health problems. Addressed everyone and everything, studied the problem, tried to save himself. In general, in 2 words - the problem cannot be solved. I am still alive in the end, now I look at her and understand that I was mad in vain. I can answer any question in this area. I have infa from all directions - psychology, psychiatry, time, advice, analysis ... I want to tell you - that a person worried about parting is a good person, what happened - do not blame yourself. So it happened - you did not fit her. It is impossible to foresee and foresee everything. You are obliged to live 100%, only forward! Despondency and whining are not masculine. Women don't need frank whining!! They need tough guys, i.e. strong in body, spirit, and wallet. Pretty people don't have to be. That you have a tragedy is a fact. But you are ALIVE, you didn’t get drunk, yes, your loved one is gone. Everything was and now is not. Your health is more important. Life has become different. You have gained invaluable experience, a lesson, you are wounded. But only forward. Look for people to throw out your problem, go to psychologists, psychiatrists, to friends, girlfriends, dating agencies - there are a lot of options, to parents. Time will pass a lot. I had enough conversations with a psychologist for 2 ... 3 weeks of calm - and so for a very long time. I understood one thing - weak, dull, sour, depressed, without money, without housing, without a car, without work, without prospects - you are not a candidate for a new successful acquaintance and love. Save your health - the past is not returned. There are beautiful women - and you will find your HAPPINESS. I could give advice for another week. Salvation is up to you. The strength is in you.

In our difficult life, not only happy meetings happen, but also bitter partings.
We worry, grieving, trying to understand how to let go of the person you love forever from your memory.
Letting a loved one out of your own life is much easier than erasing his once-desired image from a vulnerable soul.
Quite often I receive frank letters from readers who ask not only for advice, but also for verbal help.
Dear women, unfortunately you will not be able to let go of your loved one from your memory forever.

Although there are some tricks that allow you to quickly cope with bitter separation. We have already talked about this in previous publications, so this article is intended to supplement the already existing material with the experience of those who managed to forgive and let go of crazy love forever.

What you need to do to let go of the person you love

Hello dear readers.
My name is Antonina.
I fully understand those who are currently suffering from separation. She went through this more than once.
I loved the young man, communicating with him on the social network for quite a long time, never having met. If you have a similar situation, then I suggest you proceed according to the following scheme:

1). Urgently release the virtual image from your imaginary imagination. Leave the social network forever by deleting your own profile. Erase your photographs and force yourself not to stare at the photographs of your loved one. This is a very important rule. The sooner you get rid of visual contact with photographs, the sooner you can let go of the hyped pictures of your own happiness, which in fact was not. Do not go back under any pretext, do not answer calls and do not call your loved one yourself. Remember a simple thing. Virtual love is a monstrous illusion of those who, for a variety of reasons, could not find their soul mate in the real world.
Forgive yourself and your virtual friend for the fact that you once had contact and someone decided to permanently break off the appearance of a relationship. You will be able to let go of the simulated image in about six months, forever erasing the exciting moments from your memory. Of course, you will remember it, but the amplitude of fluctuations of feelings will noticeably decrease.
2). If you were abandoned by a beloved man, leaving for another woman, remember that at the very beginning you will feel the strongest fatalism. This means that your psyche will begin to demonstrate the departed love as the only one in life. This stage must be experienced, similarly to the first paragraph. No calls, correspondence and hope. Let go of your hope that he will return to you with a confession. You do not need such a fee.
In no case do not sit locked up, go to your friends, break into their locked doors without an invitation. In other words, push out everything that reminds you of your loved one.
Don't drink - it's a dead end. Do not give yourself a deadline to let go of your loved one in a few months and not make new acquaintances for the time being. Someone has become attached, do not refuse. But in any case, you do not want to talk to anyone and get close. So do it through "I do not want." Forgiving someone is much easier than letting go. And for this you need not to close.
3). Independently, by an effort of will, work with your psyche. Burn to hell all the photos of your loved one, releasing him on an energy level. It's not weakness or psychosis. This is a method of ousting the one who meekly betrayed you. Burn his letters and put away any gifts, thereby protecting yourself from memories and waiting in the hope that he will crawl. Gone once, dump and then. Know about it!
4). Do not harbor resentment in your soul - it will torment you even more. Betrayed, so he will betray the one to whom he left. Drive these words into your smart head. Forgive your loved one by letting them go through trying to start a new life and meet a real man. At first, you will think that all men are the same. I guarantee it to you. You probably think so now, reading this article. There are decent men, or rather just one. Only he will meet you after two scoundrels. These are the laws of life. The meeting must be earned by the loss.
5). To release a loved one from life and memory, catch a magical conspiracy that a friend of mine handed me, seeing my condition after spending with Yashka.
You won’t believe it, but now I have freed myself from mental weakness to sob when another admirer fizzles. Gone - and let it fail. Returned - let him go away.

You are no more, there is no memory, I will melt your image like candy. No gifts, no hope, I get rid of dirty clothes. No dates, no suffering, I am full of life and new desires.

Read this plot, going to bed. He helped me a lot at the time.
Now you know, how to let go of the person you love forever from life and memory.
Forgive him and tell yourself that every person in this life goes through something in order to become stronger, wiser and gain what is called experience.

Life is a series of partings and meetings. Sometimes even with dearly loved, close people, our paths diverge. At such a moment, you need to gain strength and let the person out of his thoughts. But how to do it if the heart is torn to pieces?

What does it mean to let a person go?

Contrary to popular belief, letting go of a person does not mean forgetting or falling out of love. This process can be compared to a hot air balloon that you like, but at a certain moment you let go of the string, and it soars into the sky. Have you stopped liking him because of this, should you forget about him? No. Now let's try to figure out what it means to let go of a person:

The opinion of psychologists. To let a person go means to allow him to live his own life, to recognize the fact that he has the right to dispose of it as he wants. It is very difficult for egocentric people to do this, they tend to quickly become attached and not let go of a person for a long time - to suffer, follow him, beg him to return, and even blackmail him with suicide. All they need is for the “trophy” to be back on the shelf. Selfish people don't care about the feelings of others.

Why should you learn to let go?

Many do not understand how you can let go of the person you love. They quite sincerely believe that with the right effort, you can achieve a reciprocal feeling. In other words, make a person fall in love. This is where the main mistake lies.

No matter how much you are offered apples or other foods that you hate, you will not be able to love them. Perhaps, out of pity or respect, you will eat a piece, but eat them every day? Well, I do not. Even if you paint the apples orange and pretend that it is an orange, you won’t be able to deceive your taste preferences for a long time.

If these arguments do not seem strong enough to you, consider the following:

Important. Relationships should bring joy and happiness. Remember, every person is worthy of love. You should not try to please, change yourself for the sake of another. Hundreds of people are ready to love you for real.

How to do it?

Now you understand how important it is to let go of a person? If so, then you are already halfway there. All that is required of you further is not to resist, to let the inevitable happen.

Let the man go, don't hold him. Try to forgive him and wish him happiness. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. Which one of us is perfect? Everything happened the way it should have.

Feel free to say thank you. With the departure of a person, you have not lost, but gained. He gave you invaluable experience. Even if it is pain and suffering, do not complain about fate. Take pain as a chance to grow above yourself, stop becoming attached to people, learn to build happy, harmonious relationships.

Useful practice

Most likely, you think that with the departure of a person you will lose the ability to love (“he broke my heart”, “teared it out and took it with him”). It is important to realize that this is not the case. Love is a wonderful feeling that will always be with you . To return to a healthy feeling of love and happiness, try the following exercise:

1. Left alone, sit comfortably in a chair (there should be no extraneous noise and bright light).
2. Close your eyes and focus. Where is your feeling, ability to love?
3. Find that spot and then fix your attention.
4. Now imagine that a glow emanates from this point. Point it at a cat or dog, a child, walls, plants.
5. What do you want to do?

Surely you will feel the desire to clean up the house, to please a sweet child, to walk the dog (depending on where the “light” was directed). Practice daily, and soon the painful feeling of resentment will be replaced by real, joyful love for others.

Experts say that it is necessary to release a person from thoughts and heart in stages.

It is very important to go through all the stages of a breakup, otherwise all suppressed emotions will surface at the most inopportune moment. So, how to let go of a person correctly:

Make plans for the future. You can draw a "wish poster".

1. Now you can look back and rethink the past. What lesson did fate teach you? What mistakes did you make?

After going through all the stages, you will feel like a different person. The pain will surely subside. Sometimes it may take a month, sometimes a year. The sooner you heed the advice, the sooner you will be free from the burden.

Author's advice. The main thing is to overcome self-pity. Try not to think how unhappy, abandoned, lonely you are. Pay your attention to those who are more difficult - a family whose head died, lonely old people, children growing up in an orphanage without love and affection. Start helping others and you will heal yourself.

Practice from Jack Makania "Relief from Addiction"

The following exercise will be useful to anyone who has a painful breakup experience and does not know how to forgive and let go of a person.

Practice helps to cut the connection, stop experiencing negativity.

Let's get started:

Note. Practice allows you to cut even the old connection. It usually only needs to be done once, but it can be repeated multiple times if needed.

No matter how much we love a person, at some point you need to be able to let him go. Each of us has our own tasks, our own destiny. Sometimes you don't have to resist the new. You just need to let go of the reins and trust the flow.

Olga, St. Petersburg

Life is a series of meetings and partings. In relations between close people, everything is not always smooth: quarrels, strife and misunderstandings arise absolutely for everyone. Inevitably, partings also happen when people do not see the point in continuing a relationship that no one needs. But what if only your partner wants to leave, and you don’t know how to let go of the person you love?

Agony of love

First of all, you need to stop "cling" to it. Of course, it is difficult to talk about dignity and pride when the heart is torn from grief and you want to keep your loved one by any means.

But in this situation, it is important to understand and accept the fact that if a person has decided to leave, your wallowing at his feet will not stop him.

The only thing you will achieve is his contempt and pity, and this is the last thing you want. Is not it? Blackmail suicide is also not the best solution. Maybe you can force him to stay, but what price will you have to pay to be able to see him again?

He will begin to avoid you, will not look you in the eye, will try to spend as little time as possible at home and will reduce communication with you to solving everyday issues.

By prolonging the agony for a while, you will only wallow more in pain and frustration. Life can become simply unbearable and you will not be able to restrain yourself for a long time. You will again and again present your claims to your partner, show irritation. You will begin to show dissatisfaction with the cold attitude towards you, while not wanting to understand that you yourself are to blame for everything. Why?

Yes, because he was honest with you and offered to leave, and you, like an ostrich burying your head in the sand, did not want to understand that everything was over. Because you are the one who keeps grasping at straws and sticking together the broken cup of love.

Don't cling to the past

So, you have done everything you could to save the relationship, but there is no result. No one else and you yourself now have the right to reproach yourself for inaction, because you tried your best, but nothing came of it.

The beloved left anyway and now it is important to understand how to let go and forgive the person who hurt you, but with whom at the same time the most beautiful moments in life are connected. How to relieve this pain, which simply breaks the heart into pieces?

First of all, you must clearly answer yourself a few questions. Do you really love him or is it a wounded self-esteem talking in you? If you had thrown him first, would it have been easier?

In fact, many “abandoned people” argue this way, and it is clear that there is no question of any love here. Such people do not think about how to forget and let go of a person - this happens quite quickly and imperceptibly for the most abandoned partner.

How to check your feelings? It is enough to ask yourself a simple question, the answer to which will finally clarify the situation. It sounds like this: If your loved one is to die tomorrow, do you agree to go to another world with him"? Do you disagree with this step? Then start living without it.

Let go, forgive and forget

How to let go of a loved one? If you need one last conversation, ask your loved one for the sake of your relationship to listen to you.

Tell him everything that "boiled", but only calmly, without tantrums and tears. Thank him for the happiness that he gave, wish him all the best.

This is the whole power of love, because when you love, you do it disinterestedly, without expecting anything in return! This means that you should also have enough love to make a person happy by letting him go, because this is exactly what he wants.

« Learn to let people out of your life, because they are not your property!”- if you live by this principle, many problems will disappear on their own. You can't "buy" a person's love or make you love yourself. You need to learn this lesson and move on with your life.

The main thing is to help yourself to free yourself from these relationships. How to let a person out of his own thoughts? First of all, you need to occupy your thoughts with something else in order to stop thinking about the person who is no longer in your life.

It's hard to do, but nothing is impossible. Do not be alone, constantly be in the company, meet friends, walk more. If possible, buy a ticket and go on vacation. A change of scenery in such a situation will only benefit.

If there is no way to go somewhere, immerse yourself in work. Work overtime, take turns with colleagues, make sure that after a hard day you only have enough energy to eat and fall into bed. Do something you haven't gotten your hands on before. This is a great way to get rid of love, especially if what you are about to do has never been to your partner's liking.

We shift the accents

Self love is a big job. If you don't yet know how to accept your inner self, start transforming on the outside. Buy a gym or pool membership, sign up for a massage, change your haircut. You yourself will not notice how these changes will work for you, how your eyes will sparkle, and a smile will play on your lips.

Psychologists advise dividing a sheet of paper into two halves and write all the pluses from this relationship in one column, and all the minuses in the other. The result may surprise you and give you an idea: Why do I need such a relationship?»

Do not draw pictures in your imagination of how bad it will be for you without a loved one, it is better to draw a plot where you feel good, you are free and can do whatever you want.

Flirt with strangers, wear short skirts and high heels and make it clear that you are in the mood for a new relationship.

Take to the trash or to the center of the poor all the things that remind you of your loved one. Do not listen to "your" music, do not go to "your" cafe. Nothing should remind you of the past.

Memory, unfortunately, keeps not only the pleasant moments of our lives. Sometimes it constantly brings back memories of mistakes or unreached peaks. What we wanted but couldn't get. It is also difficult sometimes to forget some person from our past life. This is painful, because you just get mentally tired from such thoughts about someone, besides, you start to feel like an inferior person, you constantly scold yourself for weakness, but at the same time you build your life, focusing on these memories.

It's hard to forget your first love. Especially if this relationship was unsuccessful and ended in a broken heart. For many years, building your life, you can think about how the very first one would appreciate it, how wonderful it would be to show him your successes and achievements now. And honestly, you can catch yourself thinking that I would like to make him regret that long-standing break.

Just as long they remember husbands or wives after a divorce, lovers with whom they spent a lot of time, who else, perhaps, have not stopped loving. Remembering departed friends.

And even longer, those who once inflicted a strong offense remain in memory, even if these people were not very close. They remember traitors or rivals. Thoughts about these people are much more dangerous, they give rise to bitterness, because of them unhealthy negativity accumulates, which simply interferes with development.

And the saddest option is to remember those with whom it was not possible to build relationships, with a very strong desire to do so. Such thoughts simply make you live in the subjunctive mood. Everything constantly revolves around fictional situations: “if only then everything had turned out like this”, “if I had said this then”, “if I had done this”.

To stop spoiling your life with unnecessary thoughts and a return to the past or empty dreams of the unrealizable, you first need to understand what keeps a person in your thoughts. What is the real reason for your suffering about someone who has long been far away.

The person you want to prove something to. And why is it so important? What exactly was your resentment towards him? Did you really resent him? Most often, it turns out that just the words once uttered were similar to your own opinion, with your assessment of your own actions. They were just right at the time. Or, on the contrary, only reflected your own fears. And that means that the point is not in a person, but in a specific offense or, again, in one's own fear.

If we are talking about betrayal or betrayal, then again you remember this offense itself, and not the one who inflicted it. This fact itself is important, especially if it was not isolated, but humiliated you or somehow deprived of well-deserved respect throughout the relationship. This means that the reason for the constant return of the offender to your thoughts is the humiliation experienced.

There are times when a person’s love has passed, and therefore he honestly broke up with you. And even if there was not such a strong feeling on your part, but only affection, you continue to constantly think about him. At the heart of this situation lies, to be honest, your spoiledness. Childlike feeling of a taken away toy. Like a child, you just don't want to come to terms with the fact that your longtime partner has a right to their own life.

But when the relationship didn’t work out, but you too wanted it to be, you also fill your thoughts with a person who has long gone from your life out of childish stubbornness. The good old saying about the forbidden fruit applies here.

When you were able to honestly admit to yourself why you keep thinking about the same person, you need to realize very well how wrong it all is. You think about someone who has not needed you for a long time and is not interested. And you do it because of your own spoiledness or because of self-doubt. When the true reason for your thoughts becomes obvious, then the emotional attitude towards such memories will change.

It would be possible after that to simply say: let him go. But no one can explain to you how to let go of memories. It's better to go the other way. Restore in memory what kind of person you were at the time of the departed relationship, and compare with what you have become now. If you wanted to prove something to someone from the past, then you have already done it. Let the direction of your thoughts about the offender change. Before that, you kind of put yourself below him, but after analyzing the picture of today, your bar will noticeably increase and such memories will no longer be relevant. You can find real evidence: meet the abuser now. It is not necessary to communicate, just find a way to look at him from the side. Believe me, most likely you will just feel sorry for him, he will turn out to be so miserable.

A new meeting can also heal from failed love. Is your chosen one so good, whom you did not receive, but could not forget? Look at him. And in this case, even better to communicate. Analyze every moment of this meeting. The halo of romance will subside, you will stop tormenting yourself with dreams of unfulfilled dreams.