How to support a person in difficult times? Councils of psychologists and worldly wisdom. How to support a man when he is in trouble

Sometimes life gives a guy unexpected unpleasant surprises, and it is so important that in difficult times there is a person nearby who can provide such necessary support. Of course, at such moments, intuition comes to the aid of many women, but not always and not everyone will find the right words and way of communication.

In some cases, wanting to help and not understanding how to do it correctly, you can even harm and aggravate the already difficult condition of a loved one. Therefore, it is so important to have an idea of ​​\u200b\u200bhow to support a guy and help him survive difficulties.

It is easy for any girl to determine the moments when her boyfriend is not in a good mood. All people are different, and each needs its own approach, which a loved one can always feel. General rules of conduct will help you navigate difficult moments and provide such important support.

1. Create a cozy home environment in which the guy can relax. Take care of him, cook your favorite dish, turn on good music, have a relaxing massage, a bath with aromatic oils, or offer to watch an interesting movie. Leave him alone with you or doing what you love. It is important that the guy feels that the house is the place where he is loved, appreciated, expected and allowed to be himself.
2. Radiate optimism and confidence that all problems will be solved in the future, even if you yourself believe in it with difficulty. The guy should feel your faith in him.
3. Try to help with unobtrusive advice, smoothly lead him to a solution to the problem or push him to specific actions, but so that he makes the choice of the solution himself.
4. For some people, it is important to take a break from the problem for a while and switch their attention to something else, so suggest taking a walk in the park, going to the cinema or theater.
5. It is important for many people to speak out, after which it becomes easier on the soul, and options for solving the problem appear. In this case, become an attentive and patient listener, do not interrupt him and say a few words of support at the end.
6. Do not let your boyfriend fall into a long-term depression, support him psychologically, because love can work wonders, and tenderness and affection are its best helpers.

Tell him important words of support that will help comfort him during difficult periods:

• It is not your fault;
• Your decision will certainly bear fruit;
• You will definitely succeed.

No matter how independent and strong a man is, he needs your support and expects it from you - be sensitive.

How to support a guy during an illness

Health problems are hard to bear for everyone. In such cases, do not show pity, try to cheer up the sick guy in a joking manner and set him up for a speedy recovery. Knowing that his presence is missed by friends and loved ones will be a support - feel free to say it. Switch your attention to what he will do when he is cured. Plan together an exciting trip to a long-awaited place or an interesting walk.

How not to behave

Many girls, feeling a guy’s bad mood, not understanding how to behave correctly, can do even more harm in such situations. What can't be done?

Tim Lawrence, a psychotherapist and journalist, wrote an article in which he talks about how you can really help a person experiencing grief. He warns that with common phrases that are customary to say for support, you need to be more careful - they can hurt even more.

We publish an article by Tim, who himself experienced the loss of loved ones at a young age and knows what we really need in difficult times.

I listen to a friend of mine who is a psychotherapist talk about his patient. The woman had a terrible accident, she is constantly in pain and her limbs are paralyzed. I've heard this story ten times already, but one thing shocks me every time. He told the poor man that the tragedy had led to positive changes in her life.

“Everything in life does not happen by chance,” these are his words. It amazes me how deeply ingrained this banality is even among psychotherapists. These words hurt and hurt severely. He means that the incident makes the woman grow spiritually. And I think it's complete nonsense. The accident ruined her life and destroyed her dreams - that's what happened and there is absolutely nothing good about it.

Most importantly, such an attitude prevents us from doing the only thing we should do when we are in trouble - to grieve. My teacher Megan Devine says it well: “Some things in life cannot be fixed. It can only be experienced".

We do not only grieve when someone close to us dies. We indulge in sadness when loved ones leave, when hopes are dashed, when a serious illness overtakes. It is impossible to correct the loss of a child and the betrayal of a loved one - this can only be experienced.

If trouble has befallen you, and someone tells you the following worn out phrases: “everything that does not happen is for the better”, “it will make you better and stronger”, “it was predetermined”, “nothing happens just like that”, “you need to take responsibility for your life”, “everything will be fine” - you can safely delete this person from your life.

When we say such words to our friends and family, even with the best of intentions, we deny them the right to mourn, sadness and sadness. I myself experienced a huge loss, and every day I am haunted by guilt for the fact that I am still alive, and my loved ones are no more. My pain has not gone anywhere, I just learned to direct it in the right direction, working with patients, and better understand them.

But under no circumstances would it occur to me to say that this tragedy was a gift of fate that helped me grow spiritually and professionally. To say this is to trample on the memory of loved ones I lost too soon, and those who faced similar adversity but couldn't get over it. And I'm not going to pretend that it was easy for me because I'm strong, or that I became "successful" because I was able to "take charge of my life."

Modern culture treats grief as a problem that needs to be fixed, or as a disease that needs to be treated. We do everything to drown out, displace our pain or somehow transform it. And when you suddenly encounter adversity, the people around you turn into walking platitudes.

So what to say to friends and relatives who are in trouble, instead of "everything in life is not accidental"? The last thing a person crushed by misfortune needs is advice or guidance. The most important thing is understanding.

Say literally the following: “I know that you are in pain. I am here with you".

This means that you are ready to be near and suffer with a loved one - and this is an incredibly powerful support.

For people there is nothing more important than understanding. It does not require any special skills and training, it is just the willingness to be there and stay there for as long as it takes.

Be there. Just be there, even when you feel uncomfortable or don't seem to be doing anything useful. In fact, just when you feel uncomfortable, you should make an effort on yourself and stay close.

“I know you are in pain. I'm near".

We so rarely allow ourselves to enter this gray zone - the zone of horror and pain - but it is there that the roots of our healing lie. It starts when there are people ready to go there with us.

I ask you to do this for your loved ones. You may never know about it, but your help will be invaluable. And if you ever get into trouble, find someone who is ready to be there. I guarantee he will be found.

Everyone else can go.

It happens that a beloved man has problems at work and in life, there is an eternal crisis in the yard, he feels bad, someone has died or he is getting a divorce. Or even all at once. How should a woman behave in such a difficult moment?
Read the article to the end, and you will understand this issue inside and out.

The article, of course, will contain specific phrases on how to support a man. And let's start with how and with what words a man cannot be supported.

Comment.
The problems of a man may not be real, but simply a reason to see each other less often and generally get rid of a woman, because he is tired of her and the relationship has gone somewhere wrong, he is uncomfortable in them. Be that as it may, it is worth supporting a man according to all the rules from this article, the relationship will noticeably warm up.

How NOT to support a man

⛔ NOT demand that he tell you everything urgently.
When he came blacker than clouds, do not think that if you ask him and he speaks out, he will feel better. This is how it usually works for women, but usually not for men. He is looking for a way out of the problem silently and does not hang it on the weak (although this may be because the "weak" suddenly begin to climb with advice and teachings).
If he does not want to talk, then you just need to go about your business. And do not be offended! This is not a stone in your garden, he just doesn’t want to talk NOW, and it doesn’t mean anything else. Leave him alone, just be nearby, if he wants to, he will come up and start a conversation.

⛔ NOT solve his problems.
You are not a mother or a mother hen, you do not need to babysit him, otherwise he will turn into a child. Big already, he will cope as soon as he comes to his senses, and in this process he will become stronger. Therefore, you do not need to give him money, look for a job for him, arrange interviews, get a job yourself (especially the second and third), and so on. Respect his strength, because for a man love is respect.

⛔ NOT give advice, especially if they were not asked!
Tips are the top position. Like you are so smart and you can solve everything, you have an answer ready for everything. And he is stupid and helpless, he does not understand anything.
He is a strong man and will get out on his own.
Even if he asks for advice, it is better to evade the answer, otherwise the responsibility for failure will fall on you. Well, either say as gently as possible: “As I see it, here you can do this and that, but I don’t know, after all, you know better, you know all the nuances of this situation, and it’s up to you.” That is, you tactfully expressed your opinion, but the responsibility remained with him.

⛔ NOT regret and not listen to whining.
Empathy is: "Yes, a really difficult situation."
Pity is something like this: "You are my poor kitten, cry and it will become easier."
He is not poor and not small. To solve problems, he must feel strong and big.
And he can cry in your vest for a long time. On the first day, you can listen (and do it right, more on that later in the article), but then stop. Otherwise, your attraction to such a miserable man will quickly come to naught. How to respond to the whining of a man - I already wrote.

⛔ NOT discount his feelings.
With all sorts of phrases like “Don’t be upset, this is nonsense, don’t worry, Nick Vuychich lives without arms and legs - and nothing, he’s holding on, but you also have trouble with me”, “Fu, yes, this is not a problem, here you need to do this and that and everything will be in chocolate.
It is impossible to cheer up with such words, but you can push away and upset very much, because he feels that he is not understood. That his experiences for the closest person are nonsense, and he is such a weakling and mumbling, limp for no reason.

⛔ NOT demand his attention.
Often a man in a difficult situation falls into a kind of depression and moves away from a woman a little. He thinks about how to live on, or just goes with the flow, trying to come to terms with the new reality. The woman is frightened and begins to press on him that he devotes little time to her, has ceased to care at all. That is, one more problem is added to his problems. It is not surprising that in this case, the man most likely wants to get rid of the woman.

⛔ NOT finish off with the phrase “Well, I told you!”
Variations of the phrase: I knew it! So I thought nothing good would come of it. I warned you, you should have listened!
If you really knew and warned - pretend that this did not happen. Imagine yourself in his place: you had a failure, and you were warned, and now, instead of support, they grabbed you by the scruff of the neck and poke your nose at the fact that you are stupid and did not listen to a smart person in vain. Like? And he's not very good either.

An example from the movie "Blue Valentine", although not from a woman, but from a man, is very revealing, and clearly demonstrates that almost all these rules work in both directions.
She discovered that their rabbit Megan was hit by a car and died, and he, the smartest one, finishes her off with his “I tell you mumum”, and she immediately closes in anticipation of his reaction, because she knows that tediousness and teachings will begin now, from which she will become even lousier. No wonder they ended up getting divorced:

How to support a man

💡 Try to de-stress him.
At least a little. Offer him a delicious dinner, massage, walk, watch a movie and so on. Well, you yourself know what relaxes your man best and will be in the subject in these circumstances.

💡 Keep calm.
Do not panic “Oh, how are we going to live now”, into hysteria “How could you let me down”, or vice versa into artificial perkyness “Well, that’s good, but now we’ll lose weight on buckwheat without meat.” If you are calm, the man will also calm down a little, because the state of the other person is contagious.
And your calmness also indicates that you are confident in him and have no doubt that he will cope, and this gives him strength.

💡 Listen to him.
If he wants to tell you something, of course.
While he is telling you, he will put everything on the shelves in his head and most likely will find a solution.
My husband and I usually do this. He will tell me everything, I will listen, I will ask questions if I don’t understand something somewhere, and in the end he himself comes up with what to do next. Also thanks me! I ask - for what, I just listened, and you yourself invented everything? And he says that this is what helped him. The wonders of perfect coaching!

By the way, for those who want not only to support their man, but also to bring their relationship with him to a new level of love and happiness, my husband and I specially created a game. For several years I consulted women and led them to the result in personal coaching, chose the most effective methods and based on this I developed game tasks. Follow the link and create the relationship of your dreams playfully!

💡 All fools, and you - Dartagnan!
In a difficult moment for him, he may begin to complain about other people who are "guilty" for his troubles. Here, in no case should you point out to him his own mistakes and say that he himself was wrong in many ways. It is better to postpone the debriefing until later, and this is still his business, not yours. And now it is important for him to somehow regain faith in his own strength, therefore “they are all wrong, and you will show them more, they will still see you!” Although his complaints should not be delayed either, only at the very beginning, literally on the first day, to blow off steam.

💡 Support with words.
If a man plows like a bull, then it's just to hear that he's cool, awesome and generally a superhero. A woman can even do nothing else, only sing high-quality praises to him. We will talk about "quality" separately, so subscribe to the newsletter in contact with, or , or , so as not to miss the article and fully master the subtle art of compliments.

I recently received an email from a woman about this topic. She said that when she and the man decided to live together, he began to rent an apartment. It ate almost all of his salary, it was hard for him, he got tired.
According to her, she tried her best to support him. She had problems with earnings just then, so she picked him up from work by car, waited for him with dinner until midnight when he worked late, tried to help him with his work, did some things for him and stuff like that.
Two months later, their relationship practically fell apart, he complained that he plowed a lot and had no return. She did not understand what she had done wrong and what kind of return he expected, because she tried her best.
I asked her if she said something to him as a token of admiration and gratitude, and she answered - why words, I'd rather support with deeds.

Only a man usually does not need our affairs. Words are much more important to him, so you should not strain too much, just admire and thank. And if you add high-quality sex to this, then it will be just fire)))

💡 Remind him of his past successes.
Recall more times when it was difficult, and he did it. I managed in 2 days to find money to pay for an apartment, resolve problems with my boss, not break down after the death of a parent, unexpectedly and very timely find a good job, and so on. If he did it then, he can do it now. Let him get energy from past successes and his self-confidence will rise, just remind him that he is actually wow.

💡 Ask about future plans.
To knock him out of the cycle “how could they do it - well, they went”, you need to direct his thoughts in a constructive direction, and for this, create an action plan. Ask him: What are you going to do about it? How will you proceed? What is your plan now? How will we live on?

💡 Create conditions for further achievements for him.
To make him comfortable, nothing distracted him from the solution of a task of paramount importance. Pour and bring tea, let him skip some of his daily duties, for example, he may not go grocery shopping, order the delivery of ready meals. That is, don’t do it yourself instead of him, let him know that if it’s not him, then no one, but some simple things can be done a couple of times instead of him, for example, take out the trash. The main thing is that it does not drag on and does not become your responsibility. While he is actively busy, looking for a job and so on - okay, and then he himself.

💡 Maintain your mood.
In order not to hang yourself on a man with demands to pay more attention, give yourself the attention of the main person in your life - yourself. Inspire yourself, do not forget your life, cheer yourself up and fill up with strength, then you can not only react to all this more calmly, but you can really help him, bring him out of apathy and support, relieve stress from him, and not whine about that you are missing it.

💡 Put the question straight.
If a man has been looking for a job for a long time and nothing is working (although if you follow the “do not solve his problems” clause, then work will be found quickly - somewhere he needs to take money for food and housing), or he is very depressed after divorce or death of a relative and has been suffering for many months, and you are tired of supporting him, or seeing his silent, suffering face, and especially listening to complaints and whining, then it's time to knock him out of this state with a motivating kick.

Say: I knew you were a strong self-confident person (or - I see that you are a strong and self-confident person inside), and then in a few months you completely fell apart. Yes, you are in a difficult situation, I understand that. But I don't know how to help you anymore. It's hard to see when a loved one suffers and you don't know what to do about it. More than anything, I want you to be happy. So please find a way to pull yourself together, otherwise I already have thoughts of escaping from this eternal sorrow.

Then the man will understand that if he continues his hopelessness, he will also be left without you. Most of the time, this works great, especially if you mean something to him.

And one last cheat sheet.
What phrases would you add here from your personal experience? Share, it will be valuable for everyone!

Phrases to support a man

You're so cool! I am very happy with you.

I'm so glad you take care of me!

Thank you for paying the rent, now we have a place to live next month.

I'm so proud of you! You are my hero!

I can see perfectly well that you can handle this, because you coped with this and that, which means that you can handle it too!

It was hard during the last crisis, but you managed everything, and of course you can handle this one too!

Others would have been blown away a long time ago, but you achieve, do not give up, I adore you!

Whatever you do, whatever decision you make, I will support you.

The most interesting thing is that if you do everything right, then any problems will bring you closer to a man, and your relationship will be even stronger and better (if the man is adequate, of course). He will feel how lucky he is with you, and this will increase your self-esteem, which in turn will positively affect all other areas of life. Therefore, do not be greedy for words of support, admiration and gratitude, show a little patience and kindness - and this will definitely pay off handsomely. It will benefit you no less than your man.

And here is how aptly she supports her husband Grace Kelly in the movie "Princess of Monaco":

Acknowledge whatever he feels without trying to change it. Just let him experience what he is experiencing and stay with him. If it's hard for him, then it's hard. It hurts - it hurts. Don't discount what he's going through by making sense of it from the outside, comparing it to others or himself, or trying to change it. Just be close to what is. Carefully respond to his request for support and the required form. The metaphor is: "you decide to stay - I'll stay by your side, you decide to leave - I'll drive the car."

It seems to me that the words are very true from a psychological point of view. And yes - the most important thing is not to depreciate, because. most friends/relatives, etc. reassure with something like "Come on, everyone goes through this", Or "n days have passed, it's time to pull yourself together", etc.

Answer

Comment

What is the support? Attention. :-)) All you have to do is pay attention to the person. Try to feel intuitively. If a person does not want to talk about something, then it is better to switch the conversation to another topic. Let the person know that if something happens, then you are nearby and he can rely on you / count on you. You can just write it like this.

Depends on the current situation. I always tell a person only the truth, I never promise him that everything will be fine.
If a person is strong in spirit, then tell him so. What is happening now only hardens him, and it will be easier in the future. You just need to pull yourself together, survive what happened, get sick, and then take a deep breath and get back on your feet with renewed vigor. Say that life is huge, abstract, bright, and she herself will show the way, lead away from trouble. Not now, later. Right now, this very moment must be experienced. Remember that a person is given as many trials as he can overcome.

As soon as you tell a person "Everything will be fine", you let him know that now everything is bad with him. By saying "You will overcome this," you place on him the obligation to overcome and the fear of not being overcome. Saying "There are others who are even worse" you generally plunge him into a complete logical stupor: because it is not clear how you can compare different problems of different people.

In short, any verbal support only confuses and makes it worse. This is especially noticeable in connection with serious problems, such as the loss of loved ones, because difficult emotions in such situations make it impossible to perceive words.

Therefore, the only effective way is presence: voice, warmth of the hand, emotional contact. And if the conversation, then on abstract topics. At a distance, of course, this is more difficult to implement, but a sincere and interested call or e-mail will always come in handy.

An internally strong person will never demonstrate his weakness to everyone around him, he is unlikely to "limp" in front of you, unless you are really close. However, his face and behavior will clearly show the burden of sadness that he put on his shoulders, no matter how much he wanted to hide it. Therefore, in such cases, I personally need only one thing: to feel that there is a person nearby who mentally (!!!) shares it with you. Just mentally. I can't stand this imaginary sympathy when they say: "Hey, everything will be fine!" or "Share with me, take the weight off your shoulders." Never insist that a person tell you everything, if he wants it - he will do it. And so it's more like a desire to "cash in" on someone else's misfortune: either get a chance to show how attentive you are, or just find a great reason for gossip.

The most valuable thing is when a person comes up to you at a difficult moment, takes your hand and starts talking about all sorts of nonsense, just to distract you from all sorts of bad thoughts. And in the end it works. Perhaps now, having felt that you support him, the person himself will tell you his story. Never lie to him at such moments. Do not try to prove to him that he will find a new hamster and calm down, or that he will soon forget everything. Better plunge with him into wonderful memories of what tricks this hamster did, and tell me what is the same - alas! - no longer. The main thing is really, as mentioned below, always be on his side. And then your support will be very helpful.

There are several types of people who discuss their problems with you. The former tell you about their problems and expect some advice from you, perhaps even a solution. The second just needs to speak out, they do not wait for decisions, they just need someone to listen to them and, most likely, regret it. This classification is not necessarily correct, I tell on the example of my own friends, because among them there are bright representatives of both of these categories.

So what to do? Determine which category your friend belongs to.

If you are looking for solutions, then everything is clear. Try to enter into a position, imagine how you would act in the place of a friend in this situation. Why not, because if you are close friends, your opinion matters a lot.

If the person is looking for sympathy, just listen. Say that you are sorry that this happened and that his problem is really significant (even if it is not so for you). In no case do not say that this is all nonsense and about starving children in Africa, and that it could be worse. All that is required of you at such a moment is support. We are all different, we look at different situations in our own way, and what is a trifle for one is a disaster for another.

In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, there are situations when our relatives, close people or friends need support, because they experience strong emotional experiences. The normal and right desire of anyone in such a case would be the desire to help. But at such a delicate moment, it is important that it be correct and effective. To do this, you need to know how to behave so as not to harm and really support a person in difficult times.

• Allow and help to express emotions. Strong emotions and feelings should not be suppressed, help to do everything so that the person expresses what is in his soul. It doesn't matter if it's grief or joy, resentment or disappointment. Until all emotions are thrown out, your interlocutor will not feel relief, and his condition will not improve. Sometimes a person can simply withdraw into the world of his experiences. Provoke him, piss him off, or, conversely, delicately start a conversation and watch for a reaction.
• Offer your help. No one can restore peace of mind and harmony overnight, but everyone can help with real deeds. Therefore, offer something that can alleviate the serious condition of a person. For example, cleaning the house, preparing food, going to the store. Try to help regularly until the difficult stage is overcome.
• Try to be around. It's no secret that at such moments a friend needs you more than ever. Stay with them for as long as you can afford. Try to eliminate the source of suffering or things that may remind you of it. You should not say banal common phrases from the series “everything will definitely be fine” or “wait, time heals”. Just show that this person is very important to you, how you appreciate, love and respect him.
• Let the person talk. Show tolerance and patience, listening to everything that the interlocutor wants to tell you. Believe me, being the right and good listener is a special art. And, despite the fact that he will mainly speak, your reaction should express complete participation and understanding, as well as support.
• Try to distract from sad thoughts. Try at least for a while to distract the person from the experiences or thoughts that prevent him from returning to normal life. Invite him to take a walk in the park, go to the cinema or theater, cafe, here you should rely on the tastes of a friend. However, remember the appropriateness, if a person in mourning do not invite him to entertainment events.
• Give the right advice. If you successfully managed to pass the moment of emotional discharge and listening to experiences in the form of a monologue, the person cried enough and spoke out. The time has come to give advice, but not in a recommendatory form, but rather simply share your thoughts about the current situation and ways out of it. At such moments, you have an advantage in sobriety of mind and the ability to reason sensibly, without unnecessary emotions. By such behavior, you show genuine concern and concern for a loved one. And if he is suddenly wrong in his thoughts or actions, he cannot get himself together, it's time for him to carefully hint about this so that he is not mistaken.
• Be forgiving and as patient as possible. In such difficult moments, you should not show anger, irritability, nervousness or temper. Think about the fact that a person in moments of spiritual discomfort, worries, negative thoughts is sometimes simply not able to control himself and control the situation.
• Act on the moment. In the process of communication, you yourself will understand what else can help a friend. Each person is individual, relationships between people are also unique and do not lend themselves to standards or patterns.

What words of support can be said in difficult times?

Support words in difficult times, when a person is in a difficult emotional state, are no less important than actions. Psychologists say that words seem to connect you with reality, do not allow you to fall into the abyss of unrest. They give the feeling that you are not alone with the problem, that there is someone who understands, supports, shares the bitterness of experiences.

Probably there are no universal words of comfort and support for all people, but an attentive and caring attitude to the problems of one's neighbor is in itself a wonderful support. Do not think that these words are not important to the interlocutor, that he does not notice them and can do without them.

The best words of support will be sincere, coming from the heart and soul. If you are also experiencing bitterness, pain, worrying about a loved one, you should not say stereotyped phrases. Often they can not console, but, on the contrary, exacerbate suffering.

If your words do not come from the heart, you do not know how and what to say, just be silent. Believe me, if you force yourself to say something without sincerity and openness, it is incredibly felt and perceived as false and nothing more.

How to support a person when he is sick?

At the time of illness, any person needs care, attention and support of loved ones. To do this, it is important to show and make it clear how much you love him, how much you value him.

If the disease has disrupted your plans for work, leisure or personal life, explain that his condition will not become a burden for you, so that taking care of him is more important.

If the illness is not serious, cheer up the person in a comic form that you are waiting for his speedy recovery. Agree that after discharge you will go to your favorite or simply interesting place, for example, to a cafe or for a walk. Words that a sick colleague is missing at work are also great support. Try to spend as much time as possible with the patient, telling him about the news, ask his opinion or advice.

Come up with a joint activity or business that would bring pleasant emotions and joy to the patient, at the time of illness it is important not to feel lonely and unnecessary.

You can also distract the patient from the disease, creating a cozy atmosphere in the room where he is. If it's a hospital, bring things from home, a photo of your family, books, colorful pillows, or your favorite flower. If at home, just make a nice gift by showing care.

But how to support a person who suffers from a serious illness? Here it is worth simply to please the patient with trifles, maintaining a good mood and not letting him “give up”. He must know that tomorrow will definitely come and be better. Talk to them every day about the fact that he will be cured, perhaps, tell examples of people who successfully coped with the disease.

How to hold a loved one?

A special attitude should be shown when your soulmate or loved one is unpleasant. But to support in such a situation is not as easy as it seems, because your opinion about the problem may differ from the perception of your partner.

It is said that it is easier for men to understand how to comfort women. It is no secret that ladies are characterized by excessive emotionality, they love not only to talk in detail about situations, but also to express their feelings and experiences. Here, a man just needs to listen, carefully and sincerely. Psychologists note that the most common mistake of the stronger sex is that, having recognized the problem, they immediately look for its solution.

Alas, such tactics are erroneous, a woman needs to be pitied and reassured. And only after that try to solve the issue or understand how to do it right. Often, real action is not required, the opportunity to speak out, to get an understanding that they are ready to help you at any moment is more important for a woman.

If, in a couple, a difficult moment in a man’s life has come, a woman needs to gain wisdom and patience. Some guys perceive problems as new lessons and experience, while others perceive them as a collapse. There is only one rule here, do not try to find out more than your loved one is ready to tell. Sometimes the support of a man can manifest itself in the form of completely ignoring the problem, act as if nothing happened, try to please with little things.