How to force a child to study and whether it is necessary to force. How to make a child learn - find the right motivation How to get a child to start learning

Often children, having crossed a certain age threshold, cease to show interest in learning. This attitude very quickly leads to lower grades and other problems at school. In most cases, the taste for learning disappears in adolescents. What to do in such a situation? Should you force your child to study? Child psychologists are familiar with this problem, because it is very common. Try to use the advice of specialists that will make it possible to find an approach to your offspring.

Determine the root of the problem

To begin with, it is worth looking for the reason why the child does not want to study. This is not always due to laziness or the fact that the child does not like school. The most common problems teenagers have at school:

Conflict with a teacher Sometimes a student manages to spoil relations with one of the teachers - often it is the class teacher. A teacher is also a person and can consciously or not underestimate a teenager who is rude or behaves defiantly, which is typical for children of puberty.
Backlog in a certain subject, which occurred due to illness or omission of any part of the material. Often gaps lead to misunderstanding of the following sections of the textbook, and problems snowball.
Rethinking life values. A 6-9 grader simply does not understand why he should study and how important it is to get a quality education.

There are other difficulties that can lead to reluctance to go to school and problems with learning. However, all of them, one way or another, are connected with the listed factors. It is important to try to find time to talk with the offspring, to find out the source of the problem. Knowing the cause, it is easier to find a way out.

The conflict with the teacher is easy to resolve by talking with the teacher. Parents are not always required to take any action. It is enough to show the teacher that you are worried about your child, to promise to talk to him at home. The teacher will certainly appreciate the efforts of the parents, and the situation may become more favorable.

You can always make up for a learning gap. Some children find it easier to study with a tutor than with mom or dad. Others are more suitable for group classes, where you can enroll a lagging child. Sometimes younger students are afraid to ask questions to the teacher, to ask again about what is given at home. With a first grader, you need to work at home, explain that it is necessary to raise your hand if there are questions.

How to get a teenager to study if his interest in learning has faded completely? Be sure to talk with the student, to convince him of the need for education. Explain that a good study will make it possible to decide in life, to find your own path.

The child is sure that he wants to become a designer, which means that he does not need mathematics? Tell us that the school curriculum is the basis for obtaining specialized education.

Little tricks

We have outlined the general direction of psychological work with the child. Next, we will talk about various methods that will be a great way to get the student interested in learning and get them to take up the lessons. For each student, both in grades 1 and 8, you can choose an individual scheme for stimulating learning. It is worth trying to look for the key to the heart of your student. How to teach a child to learn? We are confident that our advice will help even in the most difficult situations.

Competitive spirit

How to teach a child to learn if no efforts help? As practice shows, it is easy to captivate children of any age with any subject, creating conditions for competition. This can be done in several ways. For example, talk to the parents of a classmate and invite them to participate in a similar game. Which of the two (three, four) children will show the best marks at the end of the week will receive the best student badge. The same icon can then be transferred to another child.

At home, you can arrange mini-competitions. For example, which of the household members will solve the problem faster, or will be able to learn the quatrain. Here you will have to study objects with the child to help him enjoy the victory.

Daily regime

It is necessary to clearly think over the regime of the day. Since it is almost impossible to force a child to study, it is worth offering him some kind of encouragement after he has done his homework. After school, the child can relax, do what he likes. Then you need to allocate a couple of hours for homework, after which he will be able to watch his favorite series. However, you should check the lessons and not allow watching TV (playing computer games) until the task is completed (we recommend reading:). In this case, it will work as an incentive to have time to do everything before a certain time.

Financial incentive

Sometimes financial incentives help. Some parents come up with a complex system of rewards for learning outcomes. For example, for positive grades, the child receives a certain amount, and at least one 2 completely resets the balance. Or, at the beginning of the month, parents accrue the amount of funds to the student, from which money is deducted for each negative mark. That is, the fewer bad marks a child receives, the greater the amount he will receive at the end of the month.

Do not be afraid to introduce monetary incentives for a 5th grader or a child older. Some psychologists believe that this will teach the offspring to handle money, not to “litter” it, to appreciate what they have earned. Knowing how to count money is a useful skill that will come in handy in adulthood.

Find friends

If a child does not want to study, then he certainly wants to have weight in society. Surprisingly, studying is one of the ways to socialize. The teenager stopped communicating with peers, does he have few friends? He can be motivated by the fact that knowledge will help him become an interesting conversationalist. In addition, people who stand out with good grades are always appreciated by classmates.

Attract attention

Try to play on weaknesses. At the age of 11-14, children may have their first love, which also introduces dissonance into the educational process. Does your son like the girl in the class? Invite him to get her attention. You can, together with the offspring, prepare for any subject, or a presentation. It is desirable that the topic be interesting, and the whole class will listen to the speaker with pleasure. A positive result will be a kind of victory that will inspire and give a taste for learning.

Take time

Sometimes a child tries to attract the attention of his parents by bad studies. This happens in families where there is a baby who takes all the attention of his mother, and also where both parents work late.

Mom or dad should find some time in a busy schedule that will be used to communicate with their offspring. You can play board games with your son, have a good chat over a cup of tea.

Psychologists note that it is not the amount of time spent with the child that is important, but its quality. That is, this period of time should be saturated - with conversations, actions, events. Do not waste your hard-earned minutes on reproaches and censures. It is better to find positive moments and make sure that the child enjoys spending time with you.

What if the child does not want to study? It is very important to demonstrate to the child in every possible way your interest in his studies, adhering to the chosen line of behavior, and not stepping aside. The offspring will feel that his mother is worried about his lessons, and will try to please her with his achievements.

There are other behavioral elements to follow:

Never refuse help with homework. Sometimes a mother is too busy and cannot give her son time. It should be made clear that for parents, his studies are just as important, and try to give him confidence in his abilities.
Remember the power of praise. Many parents forget to encourage their child. Sometimes it's really hard to find at least something to praise for. However, if you regularly scold, shout and criticize your son, he will not strive to achieve results. Be sure to find something to praise the student for, for sure he has strengths. For example, focus on a good memory, or on an analytical mindset. If done right, over time, your student will strive to develop natural abilities to be appreciated even higher.
Gently control the child, showing that you are interested in what the class took place in the lesson today. It's simple psychology to motivate by self-interest. It is very important to immediately delve into the studies of a first-grader, so that later you do not have to get involved in the educational process when he moves to grades 6-7.
A simple way to help a student enjoy going to class is to buy him a backpack or some school accessory. A little update can go a long way.

Alternative ways of learning

Sometimes a child doesn't want to learn because some kids just can't fit in with school rules. In this case, it makes sense to think about alternative ways of learning.

Home schooling. If desired and possible, if the mother does not work, you can educate the child at home. To do this, you need to register at a school that practices distance learning, and take exams from time to time. This way of learning is good, but not for everyone - serious self-organization is required, because every day you have to force yourself to learn new material. At the same time, there are a lot of advantages of home education - a child can devote more time to subjects that are difficult for him, due to those where it is easier for him to navigate. In addition, lessons can be scheduled at any time of the day, have lunch at home and not experience stress when communicating with teachers.
Night school. If a teenager does not want to study, and he is already 15-16 years old, he can become an evening school student. It is not so difficult to enter these institutions, but they have the opportunity to study externally. This can also be a motivating factor - many teenagers want to become independent. They can successfully study school subjects at home and then receive a certificate.

Getting your child interested in learning is not as difficult as it might seem. It is worth talking to him frankly, explaining why you need to get an education. Try to persuade him to work every day, but do not scold or pull. If a son or daughter does not succumb to persuasion, it is worth waiting a bit, perhaps the child will eventually realize his responsibility.

Studying at school is far from being a joy for all children, and doing homework sometimes becomes a real test for the whole family. The child is ready to do anything, but not boring tasks. Parents, not knowing how to behave, often make mistakes, only aggravating the situation. How to convince a student to do homework? How to make the learning process interesting and entertaining for him?

Finding out the cause is half the battle

Before dealing with learning problems, adults should find out why the child specifically does not want to study and do homework. This position can be explained by a variety of reasons:

There is no motivation to study, no understanding of why it is needed at all.
Elementary laziness (due to the very nature of the child).
The student is afraid to make a mistake, knowing that his parents will scold him.
Overwork. In addition to school, the child also attends, for example, a drawing circle and a sports section.
Conflicts in the educational institution. If a son or daughter in the class is offended, ridiculed, naturally, study is relegated to the background, because the child is immersed in psychological problems.
The student does not understand a certain subject well, and, accordingly, perceives homework on it as a continuation of school torture.
Gadget addiction. A child is simply not interested in learning when there are such exciting achievements of modern technology at hand.

First of all, you need to find out why the child does not want to do homework - perhaps he is afraid of making a mistake and angering his parents, or, for example, relations with classmates do not work out

Video: why children do not want to learn

How to properly influence a child

After finding out the reason for the reluctance to learn (in the course of a frank conversation with the child, the teacher, through their observations), concrete measures should already be taken. The main thing is to behave extremely delicately, to show patience, but at the same time perseverance.

Creating motivation. It is necessary to clearly explain to your child why he needs to study, using not vague concepts (“you have to make a career, take a certain position in society”), but quite simple ones: you need to get a profession. This will allow you to find a good job in order to buy everything you need, go on vacation, do what you love in your free time. In addition, it is important to point out the spiritual component of study: the result will be valuable knowledge that money cannot buy.
It is very important to create a child's motivation to study - you need to get a profession in order to earn money for the things you want, for example, for a car
Personal example. Before instructing a child, adults should analyze their personality - their own attitude to work, household duties. It’s good to demonstrate that studying, for example, has always been important for dad, and mom continues to study today: she independently learns another foreign language, an online painting course, or some kind of Internet specialty.
It's great if mom or dad continues to study, improve himself, for example, masters an online painting course
Pull up a specific subject (for example, physics or chemistry, which not all children understand well). An adult can do it himself, in difficult cases it is worth hiring a tutor.
If a student has difficulties with a particular subject, parents should pay close attention to it or hire a tutor
Pay attention to health, adjust the daily routine to eliminate fatigue. You may have to refuse to attend a section or circle if it really takes a lot of energy from the child (sometimes younger students go to additional classes not so much of their own free will, but because of the ambitions of their parents). Interestingly, experts have found that the best time to do homework is the period from 15.00 to 18.00: at this time, the student's brain shows high performance. After school, you do not need to immediately put the child for lessons: lunch and rest for at least 30 minutes are required.
The daily routine is very important - after school, the child must have lunch and rest for a while, and only then take up lessons
Fight addiction to gadgets (tablet, computer, phone). You do not need to completely ban them, but only limit the time of use, convince your son or daughter that there are many other interesting activities.
Resolution of school conflicts with classmates. It often helps to have a frank conversation with the teacher (especially in elementary school). If everything is very serious, it is worth solving the issue radically - changing the class or even the school.
Sometimes a frank conversation with the teacher helps to resolve conflicts with classmates; in difficult situations, it is possible to transfer the child to another class and even school
To develop the student's organization, independence. It is important to explain to your child that doing homework is a duty for him (the same as work for parents). Here it is necessary to show in practice the consequences of the child’s actions: for example, he quickly and efficiently completed the task - there was time left for the game, he did everything himself, without the help of his mother - at that time she cooked a delicious dish, her mother has to sit nearby and control the process - she will have to wash for her dishes.
Praise the student for the slightest successes and achievements, inspire confidence that there will be even greater results. You need to use phrases like “You are getting better and better!”, “You will continue in the same spirit, you will soon do everything perfectly!”. Even if the student’s efforts led to failure (he wrote the test poorly), you need to reassure your son or daughter, assure that next time everything will be much better, the main thing is to study.
It is very important to praise the child for the slightest achievement, instill in him the confidence that next time everything will be even better.
Emphasize more often the positive qualities of the child, even if they are not directly related to learning. For example, this is charm, a desire to help others, etc. Self-esteem will increase, and the student will feel more confident in his abilities.

Parents should help the child organize the process of doing homework. For example, it is better to start with the most difficult subjects (for example, for my second-grader son, as for many other children, this is the Russian language), and then move on to easier ones. In no case should you focus on the fact that there is a difficult task ahead (even if it really is), on the contrary, you should inspire the student that everything is simple, and he can easily cope.

Age features of the problem

Very often, the reluctance to study and do homework arises already in the first grade. Often parents themselves are to blame for such a situation - they feel sorry for the "baby", they believe that they should not burden the child so that he adapts better. In fact, the first year of schooling is a “golden time”, on which further academic success largely depends. From the very beginning, you need to make it clear to the first grader that a new life has begun, and homework is a mandatory, very important part of it.

Parents should initially inspire the baby that a new life has begun, and it is necessary to study and do homework

Here the personality of the first teacher is of great importance. If the child loves him, trusts him, then problems arise very rarely. When the kid is afraid of the teacher, there is no mutual understanding between them, this has a bad effect on his studies and the desire to do homework.

Often problems with learning arise at a transitional age (12–13 years). This is due to the psychological difficulties of this period - puberty begins, the teenager is in conflict with the surrounding adults, strives for self-expression, sometimes experiences the first love. Against the backdrop of all this, many children abandon their studies, skip classes, neglect homework, which naturally affects their grades.

The task of parents is not to “press” on their son or daughter, but to try to achieve mutual understanding, talk with the child more often, delve into his experiences in order to overcome the difficulties of adolescence together.

In difficult adolescence, many children begin to neglect their studies, and parents exacerbate the situation with their reproaches.

Video: how to help a child who does not want to do homework (psychologist's advice)

Typical mistakes of parents

Trying to force a son or daughter to study, to do homework in advance, adults often make mistakes (often because their parents did the same with them in childhood). Meanwhile, some things are unacceptable to do - they will only exacerbate the problem:

Scold for failure. Many children from this only withdraw into themselves, the desire to learn disappears completely. Making mistakes is naturally a way of gaining experience.
Promise gifts for good grades, performance of a specific task. Adults consider this a good motivation, in fact, the child's needs will only grow, he does not realize that studying is a daily duty that is necessary, first of all, not for parents, but for himself.
Do homework instead of the child (usually this starts in elementary school). The kid understands that his duty is to simply rewrite the completed task. As a result, he gains confidence that personal work is not necessary to achieve the goal, everything can be done at the expense of others. And this will give rise to big problems - both at school and in general in life.
Excessive control over the progress of your child. The child gets the impression that everything in the world "revolves" only around learning. Of course, it is very important, but other areas of life are also of considerable importance (family traditions, sports, communication with friends, education of valuable moral qualities).
Excessive ambitions of parents. Sometimes adults really have overstated requirements: they strive not only to interest the student in studies, to teach them to do their homework, but to cultivate a young talent. So, mom makes you rewrite your homework because of the little things, achieving perfect completion. Naturally, the child will have an even greater reluctance to do anything.
The use of physical methods of punishment (the notorious "belt"). If you keep a student in fear, he, of course, will study, complete assignments, but there can be no talk of any psychological contact with an adult. Sooner or later, the moment will come when the child will grow up and be able to respond to an adult in the same spirit. Another option is the formation of reduced self-esteem and a mass of complexes.

To convince a child to learn, punishment is unacceptable, especially the use of physical methods.

Studying for a student is a real job with successes and problems, ups and downs. And it is useless to force your child to learn by force, to do lessons for fear of punishment. Parents should show all their tact and patience, respect the personality in their son or daughter. The main thing is to create the right motivation in the child, then there will be a desire to achieve the goal, and passing difficulties will be easily resolved with the participation of loved ones.

Most parents are concerned about the performance of their children. And very often, mothers or fathers complain to their friends that their child does not want to study. What should adults do in this case? What to do to study? These are all some of the most common questions faced by the relatives of the student.

First you need to identify the reason why the child does not want to learn the basics of a certain science. Psychologists have found that this problem can have the simplest solutions. For example, a child simply does not want to go to school because he is in conflict with classmates or does not find a common language with the teacher. If the reasons lie elsewhere, then you should pay attention to the motivation of the student.

Often a student does an excellent job with one science, receives only positive marks in it, while another is not given to him in any way. For example, a child does not want to learn Russian, biology or mathematics. In this case, parents are advised, first of all, to talk about this with the teacher. Each person is individual and has certain inclinations and interests. Someone is easily given the natural sciences, while someone is more disposed to the humanities. And puzzling over how to make a child study, adults do not take into account that it may be difficult for a child to understand the basics of this science, but he draws beautifully or easily solves problems in physics. Do not put too much pressure on the student if he does not show interest in a particular subject.

In the latter situation, the best way is strong motivation. But in no case should this be an assessment or comparison with other children who are more successful in this science. If parents believe that this particular subject will be useful to the student in the future, he should give him strong arguments about this. An equally strong motivation can be an encouragement for success. This is an important part of helping your child learn. However, the incentive does not have to be financial. For children (especially younger students), the praise of parents is very important. Consequently, psychologists recommend celebrating even the slightest successes of a child, at least verbally.

The game form of classes makes them interesting and exciting. In this form, you can explain new topics or reinforce acquired knowledge. This is especially important in elementary school, when, along with educational, there is still a game room.

Speaking about how to make a child learn, one should also mention the desire of some parents to send their baby to several sections and various circles at once, in addition to the main classes at school. This moment is explained by the good motives of adults to make a diversified personality out of their child. But in some cases, the opposite effect can be achieved. A child is sometimes simply unable to cope with such a load, and his body, as well as himself, consciously or not, is reluctant to learn. In this case, academic performance falls, and adults cannot understand the reason for this.

Too complex material, which the teacher explains poorly, can also be the reason that the student loses motivation to study. In order to avoid this, parents should carefully monitor what exactly is the cause of a negative attitude towards classes.

It must be said that the question "How to make a child learn?" formulated incorrectly by adults. The student needs to be motivated to do the right thing. If this succeeds, parents will get rid of many problems and quarrels with their children. In some cases, the cause of poor academic performance may be what is an individual feature of the student. To prevent this, it is necessary to change the types of activities more often, and also, which is quite important, to establish and observe a regimen for the student.

Does your robber have deuces in his diary again? The child does not obey, and it is simply impossible to plant him for homework? Many parents have a situation where the child does not want to study, skips school and is not attentive in the classroom.

Often adults make many mistakes in order to force their daughter or son to study. This happens because there is no knowledge of how to instill a love of learning in children. Some begin to educate in the same way as they were raised in childhood. It turns out that the mistakes of education are passed from generation to generation. First, our parents suffer themselves and force us to study, then we apply the same torture to our children.

When a child does not study well, unhappy pictures are drawn in the head of what his future may be like. Instead of a prestigious university and a degree, a third-rate technical school. Instead of a brilliant career and a good salary, a job that is embarrassing to tell friends about. And instead of a salary, pennies, on which it is not clear how to live. Nobody wants that kind of future for their children.

To understand why our children do not feel like learning, we need to find the reason for this. There are a lot of them. Let's consider the main ones.

1) No desire and incentive to study

Many adults are used to forcing a child to do something against his will, to impose his opinion. If the student resists doing what he does not want, this means that his personality is not broken. And that's okay.

There is only one way to involve a child in learning - to interest him. Of course, teachers should think about this first of all. An uninterestingly designed program, boring teachers who lead a lesson without taking into account the age of the children - all this contributes to the fact that the child will avoid learning and be lazy in completing tasks.

2) Stress at school

People are arranged as follows: first, simple needs for food, sleep, security are satisfied. But the need for new knowledge and development is already in the background. School for children sometimes becomes a real source of stress. Where kids experience various negative emotions every day, such as: fear, tension, shame, humiliation.

In fact, 70% of the reasons why children do not want to study and go to school are just because of stress. (Bad relationships with peers, teachers, insults from older comrades)

Parents may think: after all, there were only 4 lessons, the child says that he is tired, so he is lazy. In fact, stressful situations take a lot of energy from him. Yes, and causes a negative to this environment. Therefore, he begins to think poorly, his memory works worse, he looks inhibited. Before attacking a child and forcing him by force, it is better to ask how he is doing at school. Was it difficult for him? How is his relationship with other children and teachers?

Case from practice:
We had an 8 year old boy. According to the boy's mother, in the last few months he began to skip classes, often did not do his homework. And before that, although he was not an excellent student, he studied diligently and there were no special problems with him.

It turned out that a new student was transferred to their class, who in every possible way mocked the child. He ridiculed him in front of his comrades and even used physical force, extorted money. The child, due to his inexperience, did not know what to do with it. He did not complain to his parents or teachers, because he did not want to be known as a sneak. And I couldn't solve the problem myself. Here is a clear example of how stressful conditions make it difficult to gnaw at the granite of science.

3) Pressure resistance

The psyche works in such a way that when we are under pressure, we resist with all our might. The more the mother and father force the student to do homework by force, the more he begins to avoid it. This once again confirms the fact that this situation cannot be corrected by force.

4) Low self-esteem, disbelief in yourself

Excessive criticism of parents towards the child leads to his low self-esteem. If no matter what the student does, you still can’t please, then this is just such a case. Motivation completely disappears. What difference does it make whether they put 2 or 5, anyway no one will praise, will not appreciate what they deserve, will not say a kind word.

5) Too much control and help

There are parents who literally teach themselves instead of their child. They collect a briefcase for him, do homework with him, command what, how and when to do it. In this case, the student takes a passive position. There is no need for him to think with his own head and he is not capable of answering for himself. Motivation also disappears, as he acts as a puppet.

It should be noted that this is quite common in modern families and is a big problem. Parents themselves spoil their child, trying to help him. Total control kills independence and responsibility. And this pattern of behavior passes into adulthood.

Case from practice:

Irina turned to us for help. She had problems with the academic performance of her 9-year-old daughter. If the mother was late at work or went on a business trip, the girl did not do her homework. In the lessons she also behaved passively and if the teacher did not look after her, then she was distracted and did other things.

It turned out that Irina interfered heavily in the learning process from the first grade. She controlled her daughter excessively, literally did not let her take a step on her own. Here is the disastrous result. The daughter did not at all strive to study, she believed that only her mother needed it, and not her. And she only did it under duress.

There is only one treatment here: stop patronizing the child and explain why you need to study at all. At first, of course, he will relax and do nothing. But over time, he will understand that he still needs to learn somehow and will slowly begin to organize himself. Of course, it won't work all at once. But after a while it will get better and better.

6) You need to give rest

When a student comes home from school, he needs 1.5-2 hours to rest. At this time, he can do his favorite things. There is also a category of mothers and fathers, which begins to press on the child as soon as he enters the house.

Questions about grades are pouring in, requests to show the diary and instructions to sit down for homework. If you do not give the baby a rest, his concentration will be noticeably reduced. And in a tired state, he will begin to dislike school and everything connected with it even more.

7) Quarrels in the family

An unfavorable atmosphere at home is a serious obstacle to good grades. When there are frequent quarrels and scandals in the family, the child begins to worry, become nervous and withdrawn. Sometimes he even begins to blame himself for everything. As a result, all his thoughts are occupied with the current situation, and not with the desire to study.

8) Complexes

There are children with a non-standard appearance or with not very well developed speech. They often receive a lot of ridicule. Therefore, they experience a lot of suffering and try to be invisible, avoiding answers at the blackboard.

9) Bad company

Even in the first grade, some students manage to connect with dysfunctional friends. If friends do not want to learn, then your child will support them in this.

10) Dependencies

Children, like adults from an early age, can have their own addictions. In elementary school, these are games, entertainment with friends. At 9-12 years old - a passion for computer games. In transitional age - bad habits and street company.

11) Hyperactivity

There are children with excess energy. They are characterized by poor perseverance and concentration. In this regard, it is difficult for them to sit in class and listen without being distracted. And hence - bad behavior and even frustrated lessons. Such children need to attend additional sports sections. Detailed tips for you can read in this article.

If you correctly understand the cause of poor teaching at school, then we can assume that 50% of the problem has already been solved. In the future, you need to develop an action plan, thanks to which it will be possible to encourage the student to study. Screams, scandals, swearing - it never worked. Understanding your child and helping him with the difficulties that have arisen is what will create the right motivation.

13 Practical Tips on How to Motivate Your Student to Get A's

The first thing every parent should know is that the child should be praised for any success.
Then he will naturally develop a desire to learn. Even if he does something not yet good enough, he still needs to be praised. After all, he almost coped with the new task and put a lot of effort into this. This is a very important condition, without which it is impossible to force a child to learn.
In no case do not scold for mistakes, because they learn from mistakes.
If a child is scolded for something that he does not succeed in, then he will forever lose the desire to do this. Making mistakes is a natural process, even for adults. Children, on the other hand, do not have such life experience and only learn new tasks for themselves, so you need to be patient, and if something does not work out for your child, it would be better to help him figure it out.
Do not give gifts for studying
Some adults, for the purpose of motivation, promise various gifts to their children or monetary rewards for good studies. You don't have to do that. Of course, at first the baby will find an incentive and begin to try in school, but over time he will begin to demand more and more. And small gifts will no longer satisfy him. In addition, study is his daily obligatory actions and the child must understand this. Therefore, the issue of motivation will not be resolved in a similar way in the long term.
You need to show your son or daughter the full degree of responsibility that lies in this lesson - study
To do this, explain why you need to study at all. Often children who do not have much interest in learning do not understand why this is necessary. They have a lot of other interesting things to do, and classes at school interfere with this.
Sometimes parents demand too much from their children.
Even now, the training program is several times more difficult than before. Moreover, if the child, in addition to this, goes to developing circles, then overwork can naturally occur. Don't expect your child to be perfect. It is quite natural that some subjects are more difficult for him, and it takes more time to understand them.
If any of the subjects is given to your son or daughter is especially difficult, then a good solution would be to hire a tutor
It is better to inculcate the habit of studying from the 1st grade
If a child in the first grade learns to achieve his goals, complete the tasks and for which he will receive praise and respect from adults, then he will no longer go astray.
Help see positive change
When your child succeeds in something very difficult, support him every time. More often say phrases like: “Well, now you do it much better! And if you continue in the same spirit, you will do very well!” But never use: “Try a little more and then it will be good.” Thus, you do not recognize the child's small victories. It is very important to maintain it and notice the slightest changes.
Set an example
Do not try to teach your child to do homework while you watch TV and relax in other ways. Children love to copy their parents. If you want your child to develop, for example, to read books, instead of messing around, do it yourself.
Maintain
If the student has a difficult test, support him. Tell him that you believe in him, that he will succeed. Especially if he tries hard, then success is inevitable. It is necessary to support even when he completely failed something. Many mothers and fathers prefer to reprimand in such a case. It is better to reassure the child and say that next time he will definitely cope. You just need to put in a little more effort.
Share experiences
Explain to your child that you can't always do what you want. Yes, I understand that you don’t like math so much, but it needs to be studied. You will be able to bear it easier if you share it with your loved ones.
Point out the good qualities of the child
Even if these are so far from good studies at school, but the positive qualities of the baby, such as the ability to help others, charm, the ability to negotiate. This will help in building adequate self-esteem and find support within yourself. And normal self-esteem, in turn, will create self-confidence.
Consider the wishes and aspirations of the child himself
If your kid is interested in music or drawing, you do not need to force him to attend a class with a mathematical bias. No need to break the kid to say you know best. All children are different and each has their own talents and abilities. Even if you force a student to study a subject he does not like, he will not achieve great success in it. Because success is only where there is love for the cause and interest in the process.

Should you force your child to study?

As you probably already understood from this article, forcing a child to learn by force is a useless exercise. So you will only make it worse. It is better to create the right motivation. To create motivation, you need to understand why he needs it. What will he gain from his studies? For example, in the future he will be able to get the profession he dreams of. And without education, he will not have any profession at all and will not be able to earn his living.

When a student has a goal and an idea why he should study, then there is a desire and ambition.

And of course, you need to deal with the problems that prevent your child from becoming a successful student. There is no other way to do this, but to talk to him and find out.

I hope these practical tips will help you improve your children's academic performance. If you still have questions, you can always contact us for help at. An experienced child psychologist will help as soon as possible to find out all the reasons why the child experiences difficulties and unwillingness to learn. Together with you, they will develop a work plan that will help your child feel the taste for learning.

“We have already exhausted all the reserves at home, so we decided to turn to a specialist,” the mother said energetically and slashed the air with the edge of her palm. “Tell me, how can we make him study?”

I looked at a tall and strong-looking boy of about ten, outwardly very similar to his mother, and shrugged my shoulders:

— Force? Yes, you can't. There is a saying: You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink. This is true.

- What do we do? The mother put her hands on her knees and sighed. He will be kicked out of school...

“They themselves are to blame: they spoiled me,” the grandmother, who had been silent until now, entered into the conversation. - Often sick, sorry, everything was possible. I told my daughter: from the very beginning it was necessary to fight for disobedience like a Sidorov's goat, and everything would be in order. In the village, we ran three kilometers to school every day, and no one urged us on, adults went to the farm before dark, and we - melt the stove, bring water ...

“Wait a minute, wait a minute…” a completely “domostroevskaya” grandmother, although she grew up in a Soviet village, clearly diverted our conversation from the topic. Let's get back to Zhenya. Circumstances have developed in such a way that he does not need to heat the stove in the morning and carry water ...

- Here! - Grandmother raised her hooked finger, apparently hearing support for her position in my words.

“Give Zhenya a medical card and tell me everything from the very beginning,” I asked my mother. - Especially about the first year of a child's life. Did you sleep then?

- Yes, what is there! Mother waved her hand. - He kept waking up and yelling like a cut. Doctors said: teeth, tummy ... Then, when my husband and I fled, everything went away. I began to sleep well. And now he sleeps like that - he can’t get to school, he has to splash water ...

I found in Zhenya's card a note from a neurologist that I was interested in - PEP (perinatal encephalopathy, in the current classification it is referred to as PTCNS - perinatal lesion of the central nervous system). We must think that this happened because the child was born with a large "tadpole" - more than four kilograms in weight.

Before school everything was fine. Zhenya went to a nursery, then to an ordinary kindergarten. There he was considered moderately pugnacious and restless, but the teachers loved him, because he was always the first to respond to any game and was ready to help - arrange chairs, carry away or bring boxes of toys. At school, problems began from the first grade: Zhenya did not like studying from the very beginning.

“If you threaten that there won’t be a TV set in the evening, he will sit down for lessons in the evening and make a blunder in a couple of minutes, and to try, there was no such thing at all,” said the mother.

During the lessons, Zhenya was distracted, chatted, released paper doves, skipped all the teacher's explanations, and then could not complete the assignments. He fought with classmates, then he was friends, but he never complained. And once he said about school in the first grade: I’m not interested in studying, I won’t go there. The mother brushed off "these nonsense" and began the daily battle - seating her son for lessons.

By the third grade, the question was more acute than ever: Zhenya had deuces for all tests in Russian and mathematics. The teacher, who at first said that the boy was thinking quite according to his age, now strongly advised: take him away, he does not learn the program, because he simply does nothing in the lessons, I can’t force him, I have 29 more children.

“I understand the teacher: we have one, so we can’t force him either,” grandmother shakes her head.

- Have you tried everything? I ask.

- All! mother says confidently. - I begged. I cried. Orala. Contracts were drawn up (this was advised to me by a neighbor, she read it in a book). She stood next to me with a belt. The computer was turned off for a month and the TV was deprived. I didn’t let my friends into the yard. Nothing!

Quickly testing Zhenya. Intelligence, as I expected, is within the normal range. The only “defect” is the exhaustion of attention ...

“You kept trying to deprive him of something,” I say. - Now for a change, let's try to add. But! At the same time, it is necessary to remove everything that has already been and proved to be ineffective ...

- And a rag? Zhenya suddenly jumps into the conversation.

“And a rag,” I say firmly, not really understanding what it is about, but inductively, from a boy, imbued with hatred for this very rag. Is Zhenya still ready to “arrange chairs and carry boxes”?

“Yes, yes,” Grandma nods. - If you go to the store with me, bring bags, or vacuum, or take a walk with the dog, or even beat something - here we don’t have any quarrels with him, he is always ready!

“Damn it, he would have lived in that grandmother’s village - he would have stoked the stove in the morning and ran to the same school like a pretty one,” I think.

I write a note to the teacher, I put a seal.

- Do some non-global repairs in the apartment together, go to the forest to fry sausages (take a couple of Zhenya's classmates), go to the water park ... What do you like yourself?

- Once I loved to draw, I went to art school ...

- Great! So, together you come up with and draw funny comics about the school and the negligent student Petya.

“And a girl, an excellent student, and their dog,” Zhenya adds. — And a cat from the dump.

“Yes, yes,” I nod. I already want to see the resulting story.

- What about the lessons? Grandma stretches her neck. - Lessons?!

- Lessons tyap-blunder is done by Zhenya himself. What is not clear, he asks. You are always on his side. Help all the way. Something (mechanical) can even be done for him. He has attention deficit and exhaustion. Don’t fight, for example, for filling out a diary or neatly arranging something, do it yourself ...

- It sits on the neck ...

- He won't sit down. You will be together, not against him. He still does not understand why he should study what is not interesting. But he is ready to help you with household chores and will also willingly share school assignments with you if you admit that this is your common cause and you now need it even more than he does. In the future, if everything goes well, the situation will change to the opposite ...

The teacher, who had to teach 30 children, willingly loaded Zhenya with "public" affairs. He carried manuals, rearranged all the same chairs, built a classroom in front of the entrance to the dining room, and even (on my mother’s separate advice) learned how to give the teacher a coat when he and the class went on excursions. The adventures of the hooligan Petya and the excellent student Masha (and their dogs!) were continued almost daily. Zhenya's friends took part in composing comics and were looking forward to the next "sausage" trip. The kitchen and bathroom were painted and the ceiling was painted with stars and planets. Along the way, Zhenya became interested in astronomy. We went with a "sausage company" on a night trip with a map and a laser pointer "to look for constellations." They persuaded the teacher, went to the planetarium as a class. Zhenya was delighted and right there he enrolled in the Fascinating Science circle.

The struggle "for the lessons" stopped completely. There is still dirt and horror in Zhenya's notebooks, but he completes the tasks. The teacher sometimes even gives him four. In physical education, work and drawing, Zhenya has solid fives. In the summer, he really wants to visit his grandmother's native village.