Classification of social roles in the family. Possible fatal mistakes in the distribution of social roles of a person in a modern family

The family, as a social object, is a kind of organization with its own set of statuses and roles.

The definition of "status" gives information about the position that a person occupies in society, and the definition of "role" - a certain model of behavior.

Whether we like it or not, every person in the family has his own role and status, which implies certain duties and requirements from other family members.

The family, as an association of close people, is characterized by paired roles and statuses.

Status "husband-wife". This is the marital status, fixed by a marriage certificate issued by the registry office.
parent-child status. This is a status between parent and child, such as "mother-daughter".
Children's statuses. For example, "brother-sister".
Genus status "grandmother-grandson", "aunt-nephew".

The listed statuses cannot be paired, because there cannot be a “mother-daughter” status in the absence of a child, just as there cannot be a “husband-wife” status in the absence, for example, of a husband.

Unfortunately, in some cases, a man has to take on the role of a wife - cook dinners, raise children, but he cannot completely replace a woman. Or, during a divorce, a woman has to take on some of the functions performed by a man, but she is also unable to replace her father. Often, scandals and disagreements in the family occur due to the wrong role of one of the spouses. This distorts the family system, makes it vulnerable and unstable, so it is very important to stick to your roles.

The adult plays the role of the child. It is very strange to watch families where the wife constantly plays the role of a little failed girl. The husband, accordingly, accepts the role of her parent - indulges her whims, calms, cheers up, and in every possible way shows his guardianship over her.

It is even more strange to see a picture where a man has taken the role of a child, and a woman has taken the role of his mother. Currently, there are more and more marriages that are more like adoption. Of course, some women themselves bring the family to such a state, some simply have an irresistible desire to take someone under their wing, protect them from storms and misfortunes, in general, take care of them in every possible way.

And it happens that a “sick” need for maternal support lurks in a man, which he finds in a woman. But think for yourself, in the family the man is the core, the head of the family, and what will happen if he becomes completely infantile and unable to both provide for the family and make the right decisions?

The child assumes the role of an adult. Such situations are most likely to appear with the birth of a younger child. The elder takes on the role of an adult, takes care of the baby to the best of his ability, teaches him to distinguish colors and draw, read and write prescriptions. If this is allowed by the parents, who, of course, take on most of the care of the child, then this situation is not so bad.

What's wrong with children getting closer to each other, talking, spending time together, learning to explore the world together. Strengthening fraternal relations will certainly have a beneficial effect on intra-family relations. Another thing is when the eldest child (usually a guy), when his parents divorce, takes on the role of a man and a breadwinner in the house.

In such a situation, we see a double-edged sword. Of course, it is very good that the guy wakes up responsibility not only for himself, but also for his family. This is a good school of life in which a boy becomes a real man. The negative aspects include the fact that early growing up can lead to such troubles as disappointment in family life, or fatigue from the cares assigned to him, which can be transferred both to the family he created and to the future as a whole.

Ersatz parent. This term means the assumption of the duties of a parent by a grandmother, grandfather, or, for example, a nanny. Of course, each family has its own situation and its own vision of this role. For some parents, a career is the main goal in life, and a child can grow up without their participation.

Here, some hire nurses and nannies, and some enlist the support of relatives - grandparents. And there are other situations - a grandmother, for example, she takes on unnecessary obligations to care for a baby, despite the resistance of the mother.

At present, no matter how hard it is to say, many people do not fulfill their role in the family. It is worthwhile to calmly analyze and figure out whether this is happening on purpose, and you are in full control of the process, or these are forced measures, or this role was imposed on you.

It should be remembered that the performance of a role that is not one's own, unfortunately, leaves an indelible imprint on the psyche of both a child and an adult. Also, wrong roles can lead to discord and conflicts in the family. Therefore, it is important to stop yourself in time and make out whether you have occupied the right niche.

So, you took everything apart, and in the course found out that the role you occupy in the family is not yours. Undoubtedly, you must take certain measures. What should be the next steps?

Determine the reason why you are in this role. Think about how this happened, is it a forced measure, or imposed on you from the outside?
Evaluate the positive and negative aspects of your role. For example, for a woman living with an alcoholic, the undoubted disadvantage is that her man is no longer the head of the family, he harms and damages her. And a possible plus for her is a clear superiority over him, the ability to control his actions.
Think, if you don't play the distorted role, if you can get what you get from the current one.
Try to change your behavior and your niche in the family. Of course, before doing this, it is necessary to conduct a global analysis of the situation, to find motivation in oneself for further change. Extract your pluses and minuses from the situation, always remember that the experience you have gained is an undeniable investment in your future life.

This article discusses the main options for statuses and roles. Of course, there are atypical cases that need to be considered in particular. If there is no longer an idyll in your family, if you are quarreling more and more often over trifles, think maybe this is because you are “out of place” in the family, and it is very important to realize this as soon as possible, until there are serious consequences.

Sociology of the family

Remark 1

The family is a complex social phenomenon in which various forms of social processes and relationships are closely connected. The family is the primary social group that leaves its mark on the formation and development of the individual.

Sociology of the family studies the functioning of family and marriage relations, family lifestyle as the relationship of marriage-parenthood-kinship.

The nature of marital relations predetermines the spiritual and physical condition of future generations, the qualitative and quantitative indicators of population reproduction.

Many modern problems lie at the intersection of the sociological and socio-psychological aspects of family research. The family is the initial form of group life of people, it lays and develops the ability to live in society. The family is built on a sense of duty, mutual duties, and responsibility. Society and nature are preparing every woman to become a wife and mother, and every man to become a husband and father.

The family is extremely important for the formation of the spiritual and physical health of the individual. Family relations are regulated by family law, which

establishes the procedure for the conclusion (dissolution) of marriage;
determines the position of the family in society;
establishes the rights and obligations of spouses, children;
regulates property relations, etc.

The family as a social institution performs three main functions:

population reproduction,
household function,
socialization of the individual.

The social functions of the family have two basic sources of their occurrence: the needs of the family and the needs of society.

For the full implementation of family functions, family members must perform certain social roles.

The social role of the family

Remark 2

The family is the foundation of all social institutions. In the family, a person learns social roles, acquires behavioral skills and the basics of education. Family role - a kind of social roles of the individual in society.

Family roles are divided depending on the place of a person in the family and the functions that he performs:

parental (father, mother);
marital (husband, wife);
children (daughter, son, sister, brother);
intergenerational (grandfather, grandmother);
intragenerational (senior, junior), etc.

The social role of the family is manifested in the following:

the family combines the properties of the social structure, social organization, social institution and group; the family is the cell of society;
place of human protection;
helps to understand the processes of social disorganization and social control,
helps to explain the phenomenon of social mobility, the processes of demographic changes and population migration;
assists in applied research in the areas of mass communications, production and consumption;
allows you to construct social realities, etc.

Due to the sociocultural nature of its phenomenon, the family plays a unique mediating role in the construction of society, as well as on the border of macro- and microanalysis.

The family makes it possible to reduce social processes in relation to the results of the social behavior of the microenvironment, to deduce directions of a global nature from the facts under study.

The role of the family in human life:

the birth and upbringing of children;
regulation of gender relations;
human socialization;
spiritual communication;
psychological support and protection;
mutual material assistance, economic support;
primary social control - legal responsibility and obligations between spouses, parents and children, other relatives; rules of conduct for family members);
granting a certain social status.

The social role of the family is incomparable in its strength with other social institutions. It is in the family that a person's personality develops, the social roles necessary for a normal existence in society are mastered.

Hello, dear readers of the Marivlad blog! Remember, when a new family is created, everyone takes on new roles. A young wife, who is also a daughter-in-law, a husband, who is also a son-in-law, acquires new relatives - father-in-law, mother-in-law, father-in-law, mother-in-law, sister-in-law, brother-in-law ... The social roles of a person in a family are very diverse. A lot of new relatives with whom you still need to establish relations, but preferably good ones.

In theory, everyone should love and favor each other, but ... “The mother-in-law in the house - everything is upside down”, “The son-in-law loves to take but does not like to give”, “You can’t hide from the mother-in-law in the grove” - folk experience testifies - a keen eye and a sober mind. Of course, you can find many examples that disprove this, and it is better to heed the warnings: peace and harmony, if you want them, will require a lot of mental strength. Friction can arise even where you do not expect them.

The beginning of problems in a new family

Here, let's say, what is the name of the mother-in-law - mother or by name and patronymic? There are no definite rules - as you want and as it suits you. But from one mother-in-law you will hear: “She doesn’t even call me mom!” (is it possible, they say, to expect something good from such a daughter-in-law?), and from the other: “Well, what kind of mother am I to her? Well, in the old days it was so accepted, but in the village ... ”(here is its own subtext: the daughter-in-law is not trained in good manners).

Probably, if a modern young wife had a little more tact, she would definitely ask permission for “mother”. And if the mother-in-law were kinder, she would appreciate the spiritual impulse of the daughter-in-law, sincerely thanked and, even refusing the offer, if it seems uncomfortable to her, would use the situation to strengthen mutual understanding: “Let's leave it as it is, it’s more familiar, it’s not in circulation, it is better to try never to offend each other. Can it be so?

Indeed, it is not necessary to build trifles or formalities into principles. There are things much more important.

Family Habits and Traditions on the Path to Happiness

Here the husband and wife will settle under the same roof with their parents, and the test of tolerance will begin. It would be better to live separately, who argues, but in the registry office, unfortunately, they do not hand over the keys to the apartment, one of the parents had to make room. No matter how happy they are with the happiness of their son or daughter, no matter how sweet the daughter-in-law turns out to be and no matter how good the son-in-law, you still need to adapt to changes and other people's habits.

Here is the house where the cult of order. Even in the hallway you will not see scarves, gloves - everything is in its place, in cabinets and drawers. Everywhere is comfortable and beautiful. But that was before... Now some tarpaulin covers are piled right at the door, separate parts of the kayak are laid out on the floor to dry, huge rubber boots stick out from under the chair, apparently they don’t fit anywhere.

“Our son-in-law assures us that emotions are impoverished from order, that it is possible to live and develop normally only in such collapses. So we are... developing!” the hostess laughs. I think it’s not easy for her to “develop”, but she tries. Gender roles are also redistributed.

In the house where the daughter-in-law settled, there are even greater transformations. In the son's room, the carpet was removed from the wall, the wallpaper was torn off. Looks like it's time to speak up. To notice, for example, that the wallpapers are imported, they are worth it, that the repair, by the way, was made only six months ago ... And the parents are silent, watching with interest.

The son, who did not know how to do anything, with the dexterity of a professional unwinds rolls of white paper, pastes over the entire room together with the ceiling, like a box, sprays it with gray spray paint. “When there are a lot of things – books, records,” the daughter-in-law explains, “the walls and ceiling should be neutral.”

One could also answer: “Would you wait with your own aesthetics, then there will be your own house ...”. But they were able to assess the willingness of the daughter-in-law to please everyone: “Do you like it? Do you want us to repaint your room like that?” - "Well, I do not! - depicts the horror of the father-in-law. "I'll put up a barricade!"

On whom does the world depend in a modern family?

Parents in both cases are on top. If they continue to manage to treat the difference in tastes with humor, they will be able to avoid many unnecessary insults. However, both cases are not so serious. It happens that no effort can warm up a relationship with a new family member.

Some believe that the situation in the common house is almost entirely dependent on the elders. In order for a new family member to feel equal in rights, to feel care and independence, a lot of tact and generosity are required from the owners of the house. Not everyone is given this. It happens that the daughter has an expensive birthday present, and the son-in-law has a question: “What did your parents give you? Could be generous…”

The mother-in-law would be glad that an assistant appeared in the house, she is looking for a reason to find fault: “Who is it that washes the floor with a mop? It's just to spread dirt ... "" It seems that a woman gets pleasure when she manages to convict her daughter-in-law of ignorance, inability, thereby emphasizing that she got into a decent house from someone's house.

There are just angry grouchy people, no worldly grammar, no basics of etiquette and exhortations to look at themselves from the outside will help them. But sometimes everyone is good in itself, but there is no living in the house.

What do children and parents not appreciate?

"We live only for children, everything is for them." Is it good or bad? Rather good. But what about such a setting? Parents forgot that the son grew up. A twenty-five-year-old is treated like a five-year-old, and they are ready to take the daughter-in-law on a “short leash” - tips and advice are at every step.

“I wish her well! And she ... rereads, ”the mother-in-law is offended, having forgotten about a simple worldly truth: the more stingy you are with advice, the sooner they will be taken as a sign of sincere disposition and care.

If parents do not have significant activities - favorite work, hobbies, a circle of friends, then their thoughts, plans, all “I want - I don’t want” are focused on the life of their child. Psychologists call this spiritual dependency.

“I want my daughter to change her profession”, “I don’t want my son to do laundry - he has a professor’s head”, “I don’t want young people to go on a tour trip, it’s better to save money for furniture”, “I want my son to understand until without children, that she is not a match for him ... "

Such parents believe that they have the right to intervene everywhere, because they support children financially, they help a lot with the housework. But with all the altruism - strict dictatorship and control. Sociologists have long established that a third of divorces in young families and quarrels between husband and wife occur because of relatives, because of their interference.

But this does not mean that the demand for the performance of family roles is only from the elders. The younger ones are adults too. No wonder they say, if you get a good son-in-law, you will get a son, if you get a bad one, you will lose your daughter.

The young people joined the cooperative, the wife's parents, with whom they lived, decided to give them all their savings, expecting natural gratitude. And the daughter said dryly: “You owe more,” and dispassionately outlined the calculations: the parental apartment is so many meters, the mother and father are entitled to so much, and she, her husband and child ...

It is for what the three of them are entitled to that the parents must pay at fixed cooperative prices. “Are you against? We are exchanging ... "-" You can only count on a room in a communal apartment, - the son-in-law sympathized. “Why are you doing this?”

What to do? Shout out: "Out!"? They offended my father, he screamed, then at night, together with his wife, endlessly replayed the situation. “If they had asked, they would have found the money, borrowed from someone. But take it by the throat! ..” “That's all he is!” “We were happy, the son-in-law is a jack of all trades, he knows how to make good money. Yes, he is a businessman, a grabber. "Ham!" "What did he do to her?" This made it easier for them to convince themselves that their daughter was just a victim.

And no matter how humiliating to lay out money when they are extorted, the parents went for it: they did not want to break off relations with their daughter - and this could happen, they were afraid that the son-in-law would excommunicate them from their grandson.

Extreme case. But how many better, for example, here are the calculations? “My parents bought us furniture, but yours didn’t even show generosity on TV. Why don't you tell them?" It is different here, it is not customary in his family to demand expensive gifts. "And you explain to them ..." - the young wife insists. It comes to quarrels, and the daughter-in-law is already emphatically cold with new relatives.

What are they guilty of? That they didn't live up to her expectations? Parents are not required to support adult working children, they should not improve the way of life and participate in strengthening the family. Similarly, they are not required to love a new family member.

And here one thing can be said: do not build illusions - there will be no disappointments. They must be polite, correct, tactful, help in difficult times (every well-mannered person assumes such obligations), and sincere relationships - that's how it goes.

Where do conflicts come from out of the blue?

Parents are often more conservative than their child.
Children are always more drawn to everything new, progressive.
Parents strive more for silence, security, traditionality and everything that is familiar to their generation.
Children rebel against traditions that they do not like or are uncomfortable with. In addition, they are more trusting and riskier. They like noisy parties and festivities until the morning.
Parents are endowed with great experience, they want to pass it on so that their children stop stuffing their own bumps.
Children want to acquire their own experience, often characterized by carelessness. Much will come with age.
They value the opinion of acquaintances, neighbors and relatives, their place in society more.
Children are indifferent to the opinion of society, they want to live by their own rules.

Studies show that modern young families that live with the wife's parents are more prosperous (conflicts in them are less common than in families that live with the husband's parents). The conclusion is unequivocal: the duet of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is bad here. Well, these are the most difficult ones.

The famous writer Andersen-Nekse noted with irony: "Every mother hopes that her daughter will get a better husband than she, and is convinced that her son will never get such a good wife as her husband."

These words can be regarded as a successful witticism, but, having laughed, think about the nature of feelings. The mother has been taking care of her son since the day he was born, and naturally, it seems to her that he would be lost without her. His daughter-in-law buys him bad shirts, doesn’t wash well, cooks the wrong breakfast, and doesn’t cook at all (“Do something for yourself—I’m late!”). This is her distribution of responsibilities.

Previously, a mother could turn to her son with any request, but now he is already twitchy: “Run away quickly!” "Get it quick!" The son was taken away, he is treated like a thing, he is pushed around. The reaction is inadequate, there is a lot of jealousy in it. This is what you and I think. Only everyone is better versed in others than in himself.

Once a woman came to the office of social and psychological assistance with a complaint of irritability. Before, I didn’t notice this behind me, now some kind of evil wave rises inside me every now and then. The doctor, asking questions, found out that six months ago there were changes in her life - her son got married, the young people live with them. “The daughter-in-law is annoying,” the patient admitted, blushing, “but I take it out on everyone.

Everyone gets it. She, too ... "-" Is she rude, tactless, sloppy, lazy? the doctor asked. “No, what are you! mother-in-law perked up. She is quite delicate. He tries to help me with the housework. A good girl takes care of everything!” Relations developed according to the formula: I want to love and I can’t.

“Try every time after the explosion,” the doctor advised, “when you are dissatisfied with yourself, ask yourself the question: “What exactly annoys me?” and answer honestly. Drink motherwort at night. Try not to overwork. Walk in the evenings. I'm sure you'll be fine."

“And what would you advise the daughter-in-law in this situation?”. “If she believes that her mother-in-law is, in general, a good person, do not be offended by trifles. Do not take any harsh word or raised tone personally. Make allowances for the fact that the husband’s mother is also going through a difficult time.”

Reminder for young people:

To turn a man against his parents is as immoral as to turn a husband against his wife, or a wife against her man.
Your mother-in-law, despite her bad temper and a lot of shortcomings, has one indisputable virtue for which she should be honored: she is the mother of your husband.
With their charter, they don’t go to someone else’s monastery.
No matter how trite parental advice may seem to you, it is worth listening to and thanking him favorably, even if you are not going to use it: after all, they wish you well.
Trying to free yourself from dictate, interference in the life of your family by mother-in-law with father-in-law or father-in-law with mother-in-law, be modest in your demands on them, do not abuse their help too much.

Despite the great variety of roles that we play in our lives, almost all of us try on ourselves. First children, sister, brothers. And parents are always wrong for us. But time passes, we become daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, brothers-in-law, and it turns out that parents are not so bad. And we will become mothers, fathers, and all that we rejected, we will feel for ourselves. Change of roles and generations is inevitable. In conclusion, I propose to listen to a wonderful Slavic song about one of the female roles in our history.

And in this theater of our life, the main thing is not to do to another what you would not wish yourself.
If you liked the article, share it on social networks with your friends. I look forward to your comments on the proposed topic.

Sincerely, Maria Yakusheva

family roles

To understand the family as a social institution, the analysis of role relations in the family is of great importance. The family role is one of the types of social roles of a person in society. Family roles are determined by the place and functions of the individual in the family group and are divided primarily into marital (wife, husband), parental (mother, father), children (son, daughter, brother, sister), intergenerational and intragenerational (grandfather, grandmother, elder). , junior), etc. The fulfillment of a family role depends on the fulfillment of a number of conditions, primarily on the correct formation of a role image. An individual must clearly understand what it means to be a husband or wife, the eldest in the family or the youngest, what behavior is expected from him, what rules, norms are expected from him, what rules, norms this or that behavior dictates to him. In order to formulate the image of his behavior, the individual must accurately determine his place and the place of others in the role structure of the family. For example, can he play the role of the head of the family, in general, or, in particular, the main manager of the material wealth of the family. In this regard, the consistency of a particular role with the personality of the performer is of no small importance. A person with weak volitional qualities, although older in age in the family or even in role status, for example, a husband, is far from suitable for the role of the head of the family in modern conditions.

For the successful formation of a family, sensitivity to the situational requirements of the family role and the flexibility of role behavior associated with it, which manifests itself in the ability to leave one role without much difficulty, to be included in a new one as soon as the situation requires, are also of no small importance. For example, one or another wealthy family member played the role of a material patron of its other members, but his financial situation has changed, and a change in the situation immediately requires a change in his role.

Role relationships in the family, formed in the performance of certain functions, may be characterized by role agreement or role conflict. Sociologists note that role conflict most often manifests itself as:

1) conflict of role patterns, which is associated with their incorrect formation in one or more family members;

2) inter-role conflict, in which the contradiction lies in the opposition of role expectations emanating from different roles. Such conflicts are often observed in multigenerational families, where spouses of the second generation are both children and parents at the same time and must accordingly combine opposite roles;

3) intra-role conflict, in which one role includes conflicting requirements. In a modern family, such problems are most often inherent in the female role. This applies to cases where the role of a woman provides for a combination of the traditional female role in the family (housewife, educator of children, etc.) with a modern role that implies equal participation of spouses in providing the family with material resources.

The conflict may deepen if the wife occupies a higher status in the social or professional sphere and transfers the role functions of her status into intra-family relations. In such cases, the ability of spouses to switch roles flexibly is very important. A special place among the prerequisites for role conflict is occupied by difficulties with the psychological development of the role associated with such personality traits of the spouses as insufficient moral and emotional maturity, unpreparedness for the performance of marital and, in particular, parental roles. For example, a girl, having married, does not want to shift the household chores of her family or give birth to a child, she tries to lead her former way of life, not obeying the restrictions that the role of a mother imposes on her, etc.

In modern society, there is a process of weakening the family as a social institution, a change in its social functions, non-role family relations. The family is losing its leading position in the socialization of individuals, in the organization of leisure, and in other important functions. The traditional roles in which a woman ran the household, gave birth and raised children, and the husband was the owner, often the sole owner of the property, and ensured the economic independence of the family, were replaced by role roles, in which the vast majority of women in countries with Christian and Buddhist cultures began to participate in the production , political activities, economic support for the family and take an equal, and sometimes leading role in family decision-making. This significantly changed the nature of the functioning of the family and entailed a number of positive and negative consequences for society. On the one hand, it contributed to the growth of women's self-awareness, equality in marital relations, on the other hand, it aggravated the conflict situation, influenced demographic behavior, leading to a decrease in the birth rate and an increase in the death rate.

The social roles and norms included in a social institution determine the appropriate and expected behavior, which is oriented towards the satisfaction of specific social needs.

The family is analyzed as an institution when it is especially important to find out the correspondence (or inconsistency) of the family's lifestyle and its functions with modern social needs. The model of the family as a social institution is very important for predicting family changes and trends in its development. When analyzing the family as a social institution, researchers are primarily interested in patterns of family behavior, family roles, features of formal and informal norms and sanctions in the field of marriage and family relations.

Each family is a unique world based on continuity, traditions, certain values, feelings and emotions.

The family plays a huge role in social progress. Thanks to it, the direct continuity of generations is carried out. From a girl, the family prepares a future wife and mother, from a boy - a husband and father.