When a friend says you're fat. Why do men like skinny people? My husband says I'm fat. Men love with their eyes

But then again, this has nothing to do with the body, but only with a society where the appearance of a spouse is a marker of social status - who you can afford.

If Russian merchants of past centuries boasted to each other whoever has a thicker cat and wife is richer, then today the opposite is true - thinness (fortunately, at least not a cat) is associated with success and wealth. And in this case, the partner's reproaches are connected with anxiety about the loss of one's status, and it is not always about presidents or oligarchs. A middle-class citizen may be just as worried about “what people will say” if his wife has gained weight or the smartphone is not the latest model.

Photo source: filmz.ru

The rich have always set trends, just like the stereotypes about health scanning by appearance existed long before the “fat equally sick” - in a peasant family, a “thin woman” had no chance of marriage because of stereotypes about poor health and problems in childbirth.

When marriage is a kind of project - about status, about free working hands or the heir's tutor, then those who enter into it enter into an unspoken agreement and begin to get angry if one of the parties violates this agreement. Nothing personal, just business. Only the body has nothing to do with it.

2. Microaggression - a way to relieve stress

Any relationship - friendly, business, partner - generates a certain tension (because to maintain them, it is necessary to slow down one's desires and periodically make concessions) and the quality of the relationship is determined precisely by the way this tension is relieved.

One of the less constructive ways is microaggression. Constant injections that can always be wrapped in “well, don’t you understand jokes”, “I accidentally said (a)”. That is, for example, a woman cannot accurately quote how and when her partner told her that he was dissatisfied with her body, but nevertheless intensely feels the presence of this topic in the “random” ones “Masha lost weight coolly, her husband is happy about that” and “mom gave us cabbage here, she tells you it’s useful and low-calorie”.

In the vast world of fatphobia, the insult “fat” is universal for any woman, regardless of body weight. The anxiety “suddenly I got better” concerns anyone, which means that the seed of doubt can be sown in everyone, which becomes a universal tool for expressing aggression in order to offend.

Why microaggression? Because direct aggression like “fat fool”, “getting hot is disgusting”, “you look disgusting” - this is such a toxic level of relations that, in terms of psychological consequences, it differs little from direct physical violence. And in this case, the question of one's own mental security and methods of achieving it is in the first place, if there is a resource to cope with it without outside help. There is no time for reflections on what, how and why, this is a question of the soonest termination of such situations.

But on the other hand, if both partners are doing great with a sense of humor and light sarcasm, which, as you know, are constructive ways to relieve tension (sublimation) of aggression, then there is nothing destructive in this. A sense of humor and self-irony has been preserved by more than one marriage, if both parties had a desire to save it.

Photo source: tele.ru

Sometimes I had to watch families in which there was a sarcastic squabble "Get out of my way, my plump pie, what are you with us today?" "Judging by our financial situation, I'm a pie with cabbage from Auchan at a discount" - they did not affect self-esteem in the least and did not cause anxiety, but were a tacit agreement of permissible jokes, a kind of family black humor.

But of course, everything is individual, and if such jokes hurt, and the partner, knowing about it, continues to tease you, then this is no longer funny.

3. Clinical case of an obsession

As the definition says, a disorder about the appearance of another person (let's translate it this way for better clarity) is the same “obsession” with physical defects, as in the case of classical dysmorphophobia ( a mental disorder in which a person is overly concerned about a minor defect or feature of their body - ed.).

Only something from the body of another person, or his body in general, becomes the object of anxiety, because "something is wrong with him and it must be urgently corrected." The level of stress caused by the "deficiencies" of the body of a loved one can be quite serious, and in some clinical cases described, even lead to suicide.

The good news is that it is curable. Unless, of course, not only you, but also your partner understands that the matter is not in the body and are ready to take certain actions to get rid of this disorder.

4. A certain body shape is a sexual fetish

And perhaps the saddest and most difficult part of this text. Yes, it happens that a certain type of appearance is a sexual fetish - body type, breast size, age, after all.

Photo source: peopletalk.ru

Moreover, it is much less common to say that women also have a lot of fetishes associated with the male body. After ten years of marriage, it’s quite possible to find nearby not that lean handsome man who looked at half the course of the institute, but a more overall cutie, who, with all his warm attitude, does not cause erotic desires in his wife. But in most cases, women begin to look for a problem in themselves in such a situation, for example: "I have something with hormones, my sexual desire has disappeared."

Because patriarchy tells women to value anything in marriage other than their sexuality, such experiences are rarely voiced, even in the form of a constructive family discussion. Men, on the contrary, do not always delicately declare the loss of their sexual desire, often wrapping it in the phrase "you would be nice to lose weight and generally take care of yourself."

By the way, capitalism immediately picks up this problem, wraps it in a beautiful wrapper and sells it in the form of trainings, pills, underwear and plastic surgeries. Not for men, of course.

How to solve a problem?

Couples deal with this problem very differently, from divorce to open relationships, from understanding and accepting that the relationship is now on a different level, to formal and informal mistresses and lovers.

This topic is complicated by the fact that today sexual desire is equated with love - as long as the partner wants, he seems to love and nothing threatens marriage. It is complicated by the fact that a woman begins to feel her body as a traitor and tortures him in the hope of returning "as it was." It is complicated by the fact that if the spouse is financially dependent on her husband, she will be forced to come to terms with any of his decisions and the body again turns out to be extreme - because of him it all started.

Will it be a rejection of one's sexual life - as in the case of a decision to remain faithful, for example, to a sick partner, or will it be carefully hidden parallel relationships - the choice and responsibility, and, possibly, the victim, is always for a specific person, and not for someone's body, which does not betray anyone, but fulfills its main task - to live.

Of course, not only the husband can comment on appearance, it can be colleagues, relatives, and even their own children, but in partnerships this is especially hurtful and has its own dynamics.

Some statistics as a preface: according to one study, more than half of those surveyed would like their partner to lose weight. Another study tells us that people in happy relationships gain weight, while people in unhappy ones gain weight, explaining that food and love are closely connected with our brain.

What is the most important thing from the above? You are NOT alone if you are worried about being attacked by your husband/lose weight partner. You are NOT alone if your body has changed since starting a relationship.

Of course, this does not make it any less painful to hear “you would be nice to lose weight”, and such accusations fall heavily on the body, which seems to deprive you of a loved one, but is it really so? Is it really the body that is to blame for the reproaches in your direction?

Let's try to consider why exactly this reproach becomes part of the relationship. In this article, we will talk about reproaches towards women as a more common family pattern, but all of the following can be directed against men in the same way.

Marriage as a project, partner's body as a social status

In one of the Tatler magazine articles dedicated to Melania Trump, according to an "anonymous source", it was written that Donald Trump allowed his wife to give birth to a child from him only if it does not spoil her figure, and she will make every effort to make her body after childbirth look like on a wedding day. True or not, we do not know, but the fact that for a certain type of men the appearance of a wife plays the role of status on a par with an expensive car, an elite apartment and a solid bank account remains a fact.

But then again, this has nothing to do with the body, but only with a society where the appearance of a spouse is a marker of social status - who you can afford.

If Russian merchants of past centuries boasted to each other who had a thicker cat and wife, today it’s the other way around - thinness (fortunately, at least not a cat) is associated with success and wealth. And in this case, the partner's reproaches are associated with anxiety about the loss of one's status. It's not always about presidents or oligarchs - a middle-class citizen can worry just as much about "what people will say" if his wife has recovered or the smartphone is not the latest model.

The rich have always set trends, just as stereotypes about health scans by appearance existed long before fat equals sick. In a peasant family, a “thin woman” had no chance of marriage because of stereotypes about poor health and problems in childbirth.

When marriage is a kind of project (about status, about free working hands or the tutor of the heir), then those who enter into it enter into an unspoken agreement and begin to get angry if one of the parties violates this agreement. Nothing personal, just business. Only the body has nothing to do with it.

Microaggression - a way to relieve stress

Any relationship - friendly, business, partner - generates a certain tension (because to maintain them, it is necessary to slow down one's desires and periodically make concessions), and the quality of the relationship is determined precisely by the METHOD of relieving this tension.

One of the less constructive ways is microaggression. Constant injections that can always be wrapped in “well, don’t you understand jokes”, “I accidentally said (a)”. That is, for example, a woman cannot accurately quote how and when her partner told her that he was dissatisfied with her body, but, nevertheless, she intensely feels the presence of this topic in “random” phrases like: “Masha has lost weight, her husband is happy” or “Mom gave us cabbage here, she says it’s healthy and low-calorie for you.”

In the vast world of fatphobia, the insult “fat” is universal for any woman, regardless of body weight. The anxiety “suddenly I got better” concerns anyone, which means that the seed of doubt can be sown in everyone, which becomes a universal tool for expressing aggression in order to offend.

Why microaggression? Because direct aggression like “fat fool”, “getting hot is disgusting”, “you look disgusting” - this is such a toxic level of relations that in terms of psychological consequences it does not differ much from direct physical violence, and in this case the question of one’s own mental safety and methods of achieving it is in the first place, if there is a resource to cope with it without outside help. There is no time for reflections on what, how and why, this is a question of the soonest termination of such situations.

But, on the other hand, if both partners are doing great with a sense of humor and light sarcasm, which, as you know, are constructive ways to relieve tension (sublimation) of aggression, then there is nothing destructive in this. A sense of humor and self-irony has been preserved by more than one marriage, if both parties had a desire to save it.

Sometimes I had to observe families in which there was a sarcastic squabble “Oochi-way, my plump pie, what are you with us today?” - "Judging by our financial situation, I'm a pie with cabbage from Auchan at a discount" - did not affect self-esteem and did not cause anxiety, but were a tacit agreement of permissible jokes, a kind of family black humor.

But everything, of course, is individual, and if such jokes hurt you, and your partner, knowing about it, continues to tease you, then this is no longer funny.

Body dysmorphic disorder by proxy - a clinical case of an obsession

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It's easy to offend a woman - just say that she has recovered. And when a beloved man talks about this, and not in the most delicate formulations, it really hurts. Is it always a matter of a woman and the fact that she allegedly “disbanded herself?”.
Psychologist Julia Lapina says: often - the problem is in the men themselves. And that's why:

Divomix.com

- Of course, not only the husband can comment on appearance, it can be colleagues, relatives, and even their own children, but in partnerships this is especially hurtful and has its own dynamics.

Some statistics as a preface: according to one study, more than half of those surveyed would like their partner to lose weight. Another study tells us that people in happy relationships gain weight, while those in unhappy ones do the opposite, explaining that food and love are closely connected with our brain.

What is the most important thing from the above? You are not alone if you are worried about being attacked by your husband/lose weight partner. You are not alone if your body has changed since starting a relationship.

Of course, this does not make it any less painful to hear “you would be nice to lose weight” and such accusations fall on a body that seems to be depriving you of a loved one, but is it really so? Is it really the body that is to blame for the reproaches in your direction?

Marriage as a project, partner's body as a social status

True or not, we do not know, but the fact that for a certain type of men the appearance of a wife plays the role of status along with an expensive car, an elite apartment and a solid bank account remains a fact.

But then again, this has nothing to do with the body, but only with a society where the appearance of a spouse is a marker of social status - who you can afford.

If Russian merchants of past centuries boasted to each other that whoever has a fatter cat and wife is richer, then today it’s the other way around - thinness (fortunately, at least not a cat) is associated with success and wealth. And in this case, the partner’s reproaches are connected with anxiety about the loss of his status, and it’s not always about presidents or oligarchs, a middle-income citizen can worry no less about “what people will say” if his wife has recovered or the smartphone is not the latest model.

The rich always set trends in the same way that stereotypes about health scanning by appearance existed long before “fat equally sick” - in a peasant family, a “thin woman” had no chance of marriage because of stereotypes about poor health and problems in childbirth.

When marriage is a kind of project about status, about free labor or an heir's tutor, then those who enter into it enter into an unspoken agreement and begin to get angry if one of the parties violates this agreement. Nothing personal, just business. Only the body has nothing to do with it.

divomix.com

Microaggression - a way to relieve stress

Any relationship - friendly, business, partner - generates a certain tension (because to maintain them, it is necessary to slow down one's desires and periodically make concessions), and the quality of the relationship is determined precisely by the way this tension is released.

One of the less constructive ways is microaggression. Constant injections that can always be wrapped in “well, don’t you understand jokes”, “I accidentally said (a)”. That is, for example, a woman cannot accurately quote how and when a partner told her that he was dissatisfied with her body, but nevertheless intensely feels the presence of this topic in “random”: “Masha lost weight coolly, her husband is happy about it” and “mom gave us cabbage here, she tells you it’s healthy and low-calorie.”

In the vast world of fatphobia (fear of fullness), the insult “fat” is universal for any woman, regardless of body weight. The anxiety “suddenly I got better” concerns anyone, which means that the seed of doubt can be sown in everyone, which becomes a universal tool for expressing aggression in order to offend.

Why microaggression? Because direct aggression like “fat fool”, “getting pissed off is disgusting”, “you look disgusting” is such a toxic level of relations that in terms of psychological consequences it does not differ much from direct physical violence, and in this case the question of one’s own mental safety and methods of achieving it comes first, if there is a resource to cope with it without outside help. There is no time for reflections on what, how and why, this is a question of the soonest termination of such situations.

Sometimes I had to observe families in which there was a sarcastic squabble: “Get out of my way, my plump pie, what are you with us today?” - "Judging by our financial situation, I'm a pie with cabbage from Auchan at a discount" - did not affect self-esteem and did not cause anxiety, but were a tacit agreement of permissible jokes, a kind of family black humor.

But everything, of course, is individual, and if such jokes hurt you, and your partner, knowing about it, continues to tease you, then this is no longer funny.

foodandhealth.ru

Clinical case of an obsession

As the definition says, a dysmorphophobic disorder about the appearance of another person (let's translate it for greater clarity like this) is the same “obsession” with physical defects, as in the case of classical dysmorphophobia, only something from the body of another person, or the body of another in general, becomes the object of anxiety, because “something is wrong with it and it must be urgently corrected.” The level of stress caused by the "deficiencies" of the body of a loved one can be quite serious, and in some clinical cases described, even lead to suicide.

Literature and in English on this issue is not so much, as well as research on clinical interventions, but one very important consequence of the description of this disorder is important for us.

Namely, if this is a disorder, such as obsessions or phobias, then it is not caused by wrinkles on the partner’s face, or a round “irritating nose”, or “those nasty folds on the sides.” It's like the fear of spiders has nothing to do with spiders and their cute furry legs, it's a matter of them being a phobic stimulus for a particular person.

The good news is that this is curable, unless, of course, only you, but also your partner, understand that the matter is not in the body and are ready to take certain actions to get rid of this disorder.

okezone.com

Certain body shape is a sexual fetish

And perhaps the saddest and most difficult part of this text. Yes, it happens that a certain type of appearance is a sexual fetish - body type, breast size, age, after all. And it is much less common to say that women also have a lot of fetishes associated with the male body. After ten years of marriage, it is quite possible to find nearby not that lean handsome man, who was looked at by half a course of the institute, but a more overall cutie, who, with all his warm attitude, does not cause erotic desires in his wife.

But in most cases, women begin to look for a problem in themselves in such a situation, for example: “I have something with my hormones, my sexual desire has disappeared.”

Because patriarchy tells women to value anything in marriage other than their sexuality, such experiences are rarely voiced, even in the form of a constructive family discussion. Men, on the contrary, do not always delicately declare the loss of their sexual desire, often dressing it up in the phrase “you would be nice to lose weight and generally take care of yourself.”

By the way, capitalism immediately picks up this problem, wraps it in a beautiful wrapper and sells it in the form of trainings, pills, underwear and plastic surgeries. Not for men, of course.

This topic is complicated by the fact that today sexual desire is equated with love - as long as the partner wants, he seems to love and nothing threatens marriage. It is complicated by the fact that a woman begins to feel her body as a traitor and tortures him in the hope of returning "as it was." It is difficult because if the spouse is financially dependent on her husband, she will be forced to come to terms with any of his decisions, and the body again turns out to be extreme - because of him it all started.

Throw, change and cool down to a variety of people - and to photo models, and to Hollywood actresses, and to "impeccable" fitonies. The only question is how a person will deal with those who are close to him, with those to whom he promised love, care and respect, even if his sexual interests have changed. Will it be a renunciation of one's sexual life - as in the case of a decision to remain faithful, for example, to a sick partner, or will it be carefully concealed parallel relationships - the choice and responsibility, and possibly the victim, is always for a specific person, and not for someone's body, which does not betray anyone, but fulfills its main task - to live.

My husband keeps telling me to lose weight! What men love with their eyes! The question is, why did he love me then? Kohl says every day that she is fat! After all, the day I met, I was even fatter. How to understand this? Why do men like skinny people?

- And how do you stand it? I don't think it's normal if your husband says you're fat.

Husband ham...

Find another husband who does not hint at being overweight

Your husband has a terrible attitude towards you. But it can also be taken as a stimulus. Lose weight. Sign up for the room. Be beautiful

I don't know if men like thin people. But after that, I would think about whether this man is worth my attention ...

Husband just teases you, not everyone has to be thin

When your husband says you need to lose weight, he wants you to strive for perfection.

You know the author, my husband also fell in love with me completely, he also somehow kept saying, they say lose weight ... during the 2nd pregnancy and childbirth, I lost weight without diets, from toxicosis. And the result? Husband found another... fat one. So think then that men like thin ones. And now it whines, they say, before there was something to hold on to, but now there are only bones. Where is the logic? There is no logic. So, first of all, love yourself for who you are, and if you change your figure, then only for the sake of your beloved and not for the sake of men! And with your husband, you find something to reproach him for his reproaches

And the husband, interestingly, is a handsome athlete? Most often, ordinary gastropods are indignant aloud, to whom it suddenly seems that they deserve more. If he is really an athlete, you should listen to his opinion and the commonality of interests will bring you even closer. Physical education hello!!!

On the one hand, it's terrible that your husband says this to you so directly. On the other hand, it is good when spouses discuss problems and various dissatisfaction with each other. Much better than when you keep everything to yourself.

The husband just lacks tact. So directly telling a woman that she is fat is a complete tin!

It's not about weight and not that men like thin people: either your husband has a different one, or someone has spoken badly about you, shaming him.

I remembered an anecdote ... The husband returns home, the wife washes the floor. He slapped her on the ass and said: “Get your harvester out of the way,” she was offended. And at night, her husband climbs to her with intimate intentions:

"Well, turn to me, dear."

His wife: “Right now! I will turn my harvester because of one spikelet! Turn around and grind by hand!“

Go in for sports. And get a good figure, and show your husband that you are a gorgeous woman! And will continue to resent your figure - you will find better. There are many handsome men in the hall.

The main thing is not to let yourself go to the level of lokhudra, and what the husband says about being overweight is, of course, a shame.

I would only add that our heroine, it is quite likely that, with desire and work, she will achieve an ideal or close to ideal form (remember that ideals are a subjective thing), but her wife - nature has deprived her of humanity - this is a much more tragic flaw than excess weight.

How unpleasant it must be to listen to comments about weight from a loved one. Start eating right and your weight will return to normal. Be strong.

Very simple! Because the cult of great weight loss, all men now like thin ones! He hears this nonsense everywhere, that's all ... And not because you have something wrong. I basically eat cakes in protest, get fat and enjoy life! And I assure you that when I weighed 47 kg (after the divorce), no one looked at me, but now they are staring, well, this is probably because I am ugly fat and stand out from the mass that eats flaxseeds

When a husband says that you need to lose weight - it's strange. This is what insecure men say, I have changed 100 times: getting fat and losing weight, and my man has never said that. And what to say now, he has already made his choice, let him be silent in a rag.

Well, it probably says that your husband fell in love with you not for your appearance, but for your inner world. And now he wants not only to please the soul with you, but also the eyes. Don't be offended by remarks about being overweight. Sign up for fitness and lose weight. And if he speaks very rudely, then poke him with his nose.

Lose weight and find another husband, let him admire.

In my opinion, it is much more effective to give flowers to your woman, for example, for no reason or arrange other amenities, she will quickly begin to preen and try to become the best for her man. But this is the case when it comes to performance. It’s just that sometimes men behave this way not in order to push a woman to change, but to appease their own inadequacy. I can be wrong, of course. I am not a connoisseur of people.

My husband also constantly tells me that I need to lose weight, I weigh 50 kg. And I don't know why they say that.

It is not obligatory to be thin as a board, but if a husband allows himself to say such things, then everything is very bad. And you need to change something in your life. Either a figure or a husband.

The guy called me fat for a long time (the stomach was small), and when I involuntarily lost weight, he said that he liked the way it was before.

When the husband already directly says "lose weight", then you should already listen, and not laugh.

You have become boring to your husband, he just gets to the bottom. Not all men like skinny ones. They pay special attention to appearance only at the beginning of an acquaintance, and then if love has been together for a long time, then appearance is practically not noticed, unless of course you have changed so much that it has become "striking". In any case, you should always be yourself, and of course always be well-groomed. This is your body and it deserves to be loved by you!

If a husband says that you need to lose weight, then he loves you and wants you to become even more beautiful.

Author, you decide for yourself whether you want to lose weight or not!? My husband looks at thin and slim photos, but loves me donuts. In a dream, he hugs as if they want to take away. We are losing weight together now. I want to return the figure after childbirth, it is for health. Good luck!

My ex-husband also told me to lose weight. Lost 12 kg. Became like a board. Still went to someone else. Conclusion... it's not out of great love that he says so. And by the way, after the divorce, he became fat as a pig. Now he has a bigger ass than a woman! Checkmate, goat.

Well, men do not know how to do something beautiful. They can do anything and anything, but not beautifully. That's what they all say right. That's how he thinks - that's what he says. Few men know what a hint is, and even more so about how to apply it. This is inherent in women. Therefore, do not judge so harshly. Often a man says everything as it is and does not understand why you are offended. I think it's even better that he told you everything honestly. He confessed to you as he is, he wants to "improve" you. What's bad about it? Here they wrote: "Find another, this one is not worthy of you, how can he even say such a thing?" Do you think this problem will not arise with another? If there really is a problem with being overweight, then sooner or later, any self-respecting man will tell you the same thing. If I were you, I would lose weight - not for a man, but first of all for myself. And I would try to save the family, because it is always easier to destroy. And if you still break up, you will have a beautiful figure. In any case, you will be in the black.

I have a friend, she weighs 58, slender, her husband always says - lose weight, and he himself has a belly and a large muzzle ... So send a man to FIG, if he loves any sign

If he finds fault with you because of the figure, then there is no true love there anymore, lose weight and you will see how he will find another flaw in your figure ... This is a kind of people so rotten, they understand that they are not satisfied with life next to a person, but they are so afraid of changes in life that they begin to pick their soulmate and quietly take out on her their misfortune and discomfort from a failed life ...

My previous husband was one of those, with my height of 173 and weight of 63, he threatened me: look, don’t try to grow a belly ... Now I’ve been married to another for 10 years, I had time to recover by 20 kg, six years ago I got terribly sick - a cancer diagnosis, and my husband, God bless him, endured everything with me, never reproached me and always just hear: you are my most beautiful, I love you very much! That's how a husband should be, run away from this freak, don't waste your life next to him!

The situation is familiar ... The first husband also began to hint that she was losing weight ... Although she was never full. At that time, his friends' girlfriends were, well, very thin - in my opinion too much. I lost weight, with a height of 168 I weighed 45. He said that I needed to gain some weight. In a word, I divorced him a long time ago and I already live with another who, on the contrary, considers me thin, I eat whatever I want, sometimes I do sports for myself. By the way, the former became very fat, he just needs to lose weight.

Well, they will love you, but want others. Girls, don't be bullshit either! A lot of men are not kind and hungry for beauty. For your man, you always need to look chic! For the rest to be inaccessible! If you fulfill his desire, he will do everything for you! It is such a happiness to see desire in the eyes of your man, to be desired for him! What is the problem to put myself in order, I do not understand!

He wants a fit figure, not thinness. Think for yourself who loves loose asses, hanging tits and a puffy stomach. After all, it is not necessary to make yourself an athlete, this is not necessary, you just need to have a toned body

I don’t know, she moved to live with her fiancé - she was pleased with her figure, and now she is fat and pregnant. When I look in the mirror and sigh, he comes up and says, they say, you are beautiful and all mine.

No, it's bullshit. A man should love you all, including your folds!

Do men love with their eyes? I wonder how many here even know what loves both a man and a woman? What is the name of this organ? But I completely agree with the person who wrote that a man is greedy for a girl’s appearance when meeting! That's just one beauty is not enough to keep him! And you can keep it with only one organ - the brain! If you have enough brains to hook his brain, then your man! This is how love is born! And if a man offers a girl something to change in himself, then you need to change a man!

After some time, the couple is saturated with each other, and changes are needed. Think about where our lovers come from? After all, they obviously do not go to them for love, but for affection, relaxation and enjoyment of a beautiful body. Therefore, you must always improve yourself, otherwise they sat down like seals and then complain that the husband communicates with others. They just piss off the ladies who themselves are waiting for flowers, gifts, dresses, as if a man owes everything, but a woman is nothing, such a princess is sitting! Ugh, it's disgusting to look at such young ladies. And understand, a man loves you! If he didn’t love, he would dump, no man would hold the house, the children and you in a dressing gown, with a flabby ass. But quality sex and a pleasant body will tame any bachelor

If quality sex and a beautiful body tamed any bachelor, they would marry mostly priestesses of love! I already wrote that everything comes only from the brain! If a man has ceased to excite his wife, then this only says one thing, that love has passed! And you can change and transform even every day into a beauty, you cannot return love! And you can be a virtuoso in bed, but without love, a man will still leave you! Love lives in the brain! Love sees no flaws!

And why is it impossible to engage in development not only internally, but also externally? It is not necessary to visit gyms until you are blue in the face, you can also choose dancing, for example. And the figure will catch up and your man, oh, how you will please. Such a century, consumerism. Alluring figures are everywhere, so it’s worth making yourself alluring, and for this you need just brains.

Unfortunately, this is true, men first pay attention to appearance is 100%. Whatever soul you have, he will never pay attention to the one that will not catch on appearance! Men love with their eyes. And we love with our ears, tell us beautifully, and we melt!

Everyone wants to look beautiful and it is never superfluous! My brother was married to a beautiful girl, after giving birth she recovered, stretch marks on her chest and stomach were terrible, her stomach became flabby! It didn't make him love her any less! Many stared at my brother, but he didn’t even walk away from her! She visibly rounded, asked her to quit smoking, she said if she quit, she would get better even more, and he said that then he would just buy her new things and update her entire wardrobe! It's called love! And they divorced because she began to drink and walk! It was very hard for him!

Prepared specifically for the site Beauty.ru.

I recently witnessed an amazing story. The girl who fainted in the fitness center called the doctor. Among other questions of the doctor, the girl who woke up - a miniature, fragile doll, was asked what her weight and height were. And if the height was normal - 170 cm, then to the second part of the question, she hesitated, blushed and said: 52 already, got fat.

Olga Krainova-Writer, TV presenter, founder of the Good Wife Education School

Everyone who heard rounded their eyes, including the doctor. There were especially many “indignants” among those who tried to lose extra (really extra!) kilograms in the same fitness center. And almost every one of them thought: “Get fat? I would like such a figure!”

If you think about it, this statement is very common. Girls really often say the phrase "I'm fat!" For what? Why does a girl with a beautiful figure say this? And why does a girl who is really overweight say this? Let's try to look inside this statement and "read between the lines", the real meaning of what was said.

1. If the figure of a girl does not deserve such a statement. Do not immediately be horrified by what has been said. It is possible that the girl has high demands on herself. If all her life after puberty she weighed 46 kg and suddenly gained weight up to 50, it will be almost impossible to convince her that she looks great, because she has her own standard of ideal weight in her head. And if this does not threaten her health, then it is her right to gain or lose excess.

It may also be that by the word "fat" - she does not mean extra pounds at all, but hated cellulite. It is known that the thinnest women go to a variety of tormenting massage treatments, pierce fat-burning cocktails and do body wraps that remove fat - locally in the right areas. And they do it zealously and to victory. A doctor friend asked a girl who came for the 5th fat-burning wrapping procedure: “Do you want to disappear?” The girl did not want to disappear, but she went to the procedures. Another possible option is if, according to the girl, one part of the body has recovered: for example, her hands. This often happens if you stop exercising in the gym: adipose tissue will quickly fill the places where there was only muscle tissue before. And then, the girl, still as fragile and refined, looking at her slightly plump hands, can assure: “I am fat!”

2. If the girl is really overweight. And by overweight, I don’t mean stupid formulas for calculating body weight - namely, inelegant sides falling out of jeans, or a tummy in a fold. In this case, by her statement about herself, she, as it were, apologizes for her appearance: “We know ourselves, we have more than that.” And here the reason lies in self-doubt.

However, whatever the reason, if you also like to say such things, you should not do it for the following reasons.

First. The impression you make on people. When people hear the public self-criticism of their interlocutor, they pay attention to exactly what you said. Besides, it's impolite. You put them in an awkward position, and they need to somehow get out of it: either they begin to refute your words, or confirm them. In any case, this is an indecent “pulling the blanket” on yourself, or even on your problems. Think about whether it is appropriate to discuss your problems (real or psychological) with everyone? In the end, it can even push you away, because it’s hard to communicate with you, and not at all because of the extra centimeters.

Second. Your body hears everything. Yes Yes! Remember the experiment with water. We took three glasses with the same water. In one glass they said nasty and unpleasant things about how ugly the water is. They didn’t do anything with the second, but in the third they whispered about how beautiful the water is in the glass, how clean and fresh it is. A few days later, a water molecule from each glass was examined under a microscope. In the first one, the molecules were uneven, ugly, deformed. The second was unchanged, and from the third glass - the most beautiful. With long, graceful, snowflake-like patterns. Therefore, even if you do not believe in energy flows, believe at least in physics and proven experiments, and do not deliberately disfigure your body with cruel statements.

And last but not least, how to respond to statements of this kind? Depending on your relationship and closeness of contact, you can choose one of the following.

1. Say that you think she is beautiful! What do you like about her butt (butt?), and what exactly did you always dream of seeing with your girlfriend. Praise this very place of hers more often, and the complex will melt by itself. In the end, it was formed precisely because someone once told her something else.

2. If it's just a friend. If there really is a problem - recommend a good doctor who will remove all unnecessary procedures, and go with her - to support. After all, a girl in any weight looks beautiful if her waist is emphasized. Then, against the background of a pronounced waist, even a big butt looks very appetizing. Who would say that Anfisa Chekhova looks bad? And all because she has “superfluous” - where it is needed.

If the problem is far-fetched from the series: “Dreams of 46 kg”, honestly tell her that despite the fact that she is beautiful in appearance, she loses her attractiveness due to behavior that speaks of insecurity. Praise her and tell her not to fool around again.

I know for sure that every girl who does not allow herself to be happy comes up with a reason for this. Someone says: first I will raise children, and then I will think about myself, someone says, first I will buy an apartment, and then I will look for a husband, someone says, I’ll lose 5 kg and start dating. Life is around us - today and now. Do not litter it with unnecessary thoughts and ineffective statements. As Pablo Picasso said: “Everything you can imagine is real!” Imagine yourself the most beautiful and be happy!

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