Moral and ethical aspects of family values. Traditional family values. Coercion - this method can be used if the subordinate does not respond to the above means

The ideal of family happiness in Ukrainian folk pedagogy was beautifully expressed by our great poet I. P. Kotlyarevsky: “For years in the family, peace and silence, happy people there, blessed side ...” When I think about this large and multifaceted concept - harmony in the family , I immediately remember the family of Alexei Matveevich. This is our collective farmer, a man respected by all countrymen. He and his wife Maria Mikhailovna once studied at our school, now we are raising their three children.

We, the teachers, were touched by the fact that in this family relations between parents and children are dominated by cordiality, frankness, and directness. And this requires the special attention of everyone who wants to understand the secrets of parental pedagogy - the subtle, cordial sensitivity of a person to a person. Mariyka returns from school, before she even had time to open the doors, as her mother felt in her eyes: not everything is going well with her daughter at school.

- Tell me, daughter, what do you have there?

My daughter says that today there was an algebra test, the task was difficult, she probably made a mistake in the calculation ... Grandmother Maria sits sadly, silently near the window - and anxious children come up to her one by one, asking: “What hurts you, grandmother maybe give you something? After school, having rested, Olesya, Petrik and Mariyka sit down to do their homework. They come to everything on their own - this has become one of the most important rules in the family.

Once - back when Olesya was four years old and two students from the family of Alexei Matveyevich came to school - at a parent meeting, they talked about this subtle, tender side of the spiritual life of children in this family, a highly developed sense of honor, the desire to do everything on their own. “Tell me, dear Maria Mikhailovna,” the class teacher turned to his mother, “tell me, let all parents listen: how do you raise your children? How do you polish this precious trait in their souls, which, unfortunately, still remains an elusive, fantastic bird for most families?

The mother chuckled and replied: “There is no time for my husband and I to raise children. Every day we are at work: my husband is on a livestock farm, and I am in the field, and on the current, and in the garden - where necessary, I work there in the summer, and in the winter, together with my husband, on the farm. And they are at home with their grandmothers. The law in our family is this: as soon as the child gets on his feet, work. And not only for themselves, but also for people. And look at people with human eyes ... This is an indestructible law. And we have no time to educate ... Let the one who does not work, sits with the child and even fights with him because of deuces, as I have heard more than once, tell about education ... "

And it became clear to us, teachers, and parents: what the mother says about the lack of education, this is real education.

What does it consist of - what is that indestructible law that mother spoke about?

In the deep nobility, the beauty of human relationships. For many years we have been thinking about those spiritual forces that unite people in the family of Alexei Matveyevich, we see more and more new facets of these forces in other families - and it becomes obvious to us: the most important moral wealth that has tremendous educational power is the relationship of care , respect relationship. In the family of Alexei Matveyevich (and in many other wonderful families) the cult of Man, the cult of duty to Man, dominates.

The powerful spiritual power of education lies in the fact that children learn to look at the world through the eyes of their parents, they learn from their father to respect their mother, grandmother, woman, person. A woman, mother, grandmother in the family become, one might say, the emotional, aesthetic, moral, spiritual center of the family, its head. The father came home from work - and the first thing he asks the children is that he must certainly know how the health of the grandmothers - his mother and wife's mother. No matter how busy he is, no matter what urgent worries and chores - the first concern, the first chores - for grandmothers. Daughter Maria remembered for the rest of her life that holiday when her father turned 30 years old. Guests were supposed to come, everyone was preparing for a family holiday. But suddenly Grandmother Maria, my mother's mother, fell ill. “There can be no question of any holiday,” said the father and took the grandmother to the hospital.

This is what the human law that mother spoke about at the parents' meeting means - to look at people with human eyes. When Olesya, the youngest in the family of Alexei Matveevich, turned 4 years old, her mother's mother died. It was in May. The children planted flowers on their grandmother's grave. And at home, not far from the hut, they planted a rose bush, called it Grandmother Maria's rose. Every year on a clear May day, Maria, Petrik and Olesya carry rose flowers to their grandmother's grave. This day is called in the family - grandmother's day.

Maybe it seems to some readers: is it necessary to talk about this - about the flowers on the grave, about the rose bushes dedicated to the deceased, about the family day - grandmother's day. Yes, without this real education is unthinkable, without this there are no those spiritual forces on which the family rests. There is an old French proverb: the dead take revenge on the living because the living forget about the dead.

Life teaches that revenge is cruel: thistles grow on good, viable land - people with stone hearts, soulless, coldly prudent. Respect and reverence for the memory of the dead is a huge capital, the interest from which goes to the living. These are the thinnest roots that carry the life-giving juices of the earth to the tree, whose name is humanity.

In the family of Alexei Matveyevich, the father does everything to ensure that the children value their mother. In summer and early spring, it is easier to work on a livestock farm than on a link where the mother grows sugar beets. And in the days of intense hard work, Alexei Matveyevich goes to the field, and his wife goes to the farm. Children are used to the fact that their father always takes on the hardest work, and learn from him to look at their mother through the eyes of a noble strong man.

The art of education in such families as the family of Alexei Matveyevich lies in the fact that moral wealth is created by relationships in which love and kindness are closely intertwined with severe duty and work, with personal example. The children of Alexei Matveyevich and Maria Mikhailovna are hardworking, truthful, cordial precisely because in the images of the people dearest to them - their father and mother - a noble vision of a person and themselves is revealed to them. Passing on to the children the most subtle spiritual traits of human nobility, the father from an early age awakened in them a sensitive conscience - the ability to cherish the good in oneself, to be demanding of oneself.

If in a few words to express all the wisdom of parental pedagogy, then it lies in the fact that our children should be firm and severe in their demands on themselves, so that - here I deliberately fall into exaggeration - gathering my son for a wedding, where all the guests are bitter drunkards , a mother could be sure that her son would come home sober ... Demanding on oneself, a moral law in one's own heart, honesty and truthfulness alone with oneself - for parents this is a lofty dream, an ideal. And it is achieved when love, kindness, affection are combined with strict exactingness, with duty, with intransigence towards evil, untruth, deceit.

Before the solemn day of joining the Komsomol, Mariyka told me: I don't remember when I started working. For as long as I can remember I have always worked. It was a very, very long time ago. I must have been seven years old then. My father said to me: plant these three seedlings of grapes. I already knew how to do it well. I dug holes, filled them with water and planted them. And the roots were not dipped in a clay solution. I remember, I thought, they will be covered with earth, no one will know whether the roots are wetted in a clay solution or not. Planted, watered. Father asks in the evening: did you soak the roots in a clay solution? Never in my life - neither before nor after I did not deceive, but then I told a lie. Of course, the father immediately noticed the deception. He did not say a word, but only looked into my eyes attentively, attentively. He sighed heavily, as if someone had put a heavy burden on his shoulders. He dug up my seedlings, soaked them in a bucket of wet clay… And I stood and watched… And my face burned with shame. Having finished the work, the father said: "You can deceive someone, but you will never deceive yourself."

It happens that parents cry: “What should we do with our son? Doesn't understand kind words. You teach him - it's good, but it's bad, it's possible, but it's impossible - but he doesn't seem to hear ... Even though the stake is on your head. Indifference to the word is a big trouble in education. Having lost hope that it is possible to educate with a word, parents use cuffs and a belt ... How to prevent trouble? How to ensure that the word educates, that there are strings on the violin of the child's soul, and not ropes? In early childhood, a person must go through a great school of subtle, cordial, human relationships. These relationships are the most important moral wealth of the family.

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The moral value of the family

Ethics of family relations

If all family members try to get along with each other and avoid conflicts, peace and harmony will always reign in the house. This is not so easy to achieve, sometimes it takes a lot of effort to extinguish the sparks of a flaring quarrel. Some people think that politeness is only necessary outside the home, and in the family circle you can relax. However, relaxing does not mean forgetting all the polite words. It seems to you that "please", "thank you", "sorry" are not needed, you can do without them. Yes, in some cases you can actually not use these conditional expressions. If we are talking about everyday things that are within the competence of, for example, a wife, the husband can simply remind: “Pay for the phone.” He does not have to constantly “ask” for this. The husband may not thank his wife every time she puts before lunch, and she doesn't have to say "thank you" when he gives her a coat. Asking for a favor and thanking you should be in other cases. For example, a husband can say: "Please bring my cigarettes, I don't want to interrupt work" For the service rendered, he must thank his wife. Intonation plays a big role in the relationship of close people. It is able to negate all polite expressions. The phrase: "Pour me coffee" - can sound friendly and polite, while the words: " I beg you, please pour some coffee" - they can resemble an order. Each family has its own appeal to each other. There is nothing wrong when a husband calls his wife "baby", and she is his "cat", however, these affectionate nicknames are not intended for prying ears.In the presence of third parties, it is better to call each other by name.

Spouses often find it difficult to contact their spouse's parents. If you do not want or cannot call your mother-in-law or mother-in-law mother, contact by name and patronymic. You should not call the mother-in-law "grandmother", and the mother-in-law "aunt Masha", this is impolite.

Very often, the cause of conflicts is the joint residence in the apartment of the spouses and their parents. Quarrels are especially frequent when mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live in the same apartment. It is not necessary to find out which of them is the "mistress", they both have equal rights to this "title", even if the daughter-in-law does not take much part in household affairs because of her employment at work and in school. At the same time, the mother-in-law, due to her illness, who does not have any burdens in household chores, remains the "senior" mistress: she is given an honorable place at the table and consulted about changes in everyday life. It is extremely impolite for families to remove old grandmothers from participating in family life, not inviting them to the festive table during family celebrations. If the daughter's or son-in-law's peers come to visit, the mother does not have to take part in their parties. She can go out to them for a few minutes to say hello. In the same way, members of the younger generation are not required to be present at meetings of parents and their friends. This should be done only when the mother or father specifically asks the children about it. Decency requires that a guest who comes to one of the family members be greeted by all the others, But this does not mean that they should spend the whole evening In his company. In order to avoid conflicts in the house, the younger generation should always show courtesy towards the older generation. If an elderly mother-in-law or mother-in-law lives in your home, you should not:

tell her that she is tired and she better get some rest just when she is having a great time at the table in the company of your friends and relatives;

shut up and cut off the conversation when she enters the room;

tell children that their grandmother has age oddities;

talking about someone in her presence: "It's an old man";

in a dispute, use the expression: "At your age.";

consider that the inheritance of the mother-in-law is only household chores;

give things associated with mourning;

repeat that your apartment is small and cramped. However, the head mistress should also be polite. She is highly recommended

not too persistently interested in the details of the lives of children;

do not try to find out the details of what she was not told about;

do not show discontent and whims, referring to age;

do not require younger family members to spend more time at home;

do not constantly use the argument: "Here in my time.";

talk less about your past;

the mother-in-law should not show her son her dissatisfaction with her daughter-in-law, and the mother-in-law should not condemn her son-in-law in the presence of her daughter.

Each member of the family should respect the interests and tastes of each other. If a husband likes to watch football or goes fishing on weekends, the wife should not resent this. If he spends Saturday with a fishing rod on the river bank, then Sunday will definitely be dedicated to family affairs. Likewise, the husband must take into account the interests of his wife. In no case should you say with condemnation: "Is a smart woman / can watch such a stupid movie!" When the wife is watching her favorite series on TV.

If you consider yourself well-mannered, don't judge each other's hobbies and friends.

Keep correspondence confidential. Parents should not read letters intended for their children. Spouses should do the same with each other. Anyone who rummages through the pockets of loved ones in search of notes or letters is doing extremely ugly.

Many are wondering if it is necessary to knock before entering the room of one of the family members? Each family has its own rules, but in the morning or in the evening, when a person can dress or undress, it is better to knock.

If you sit down at the table, the phrase: "Bon appetit" is not at all necessary. But after eating, a well-mannered person should say: "Thank you."

Very often a man, very gallant towards other ladies, behaves completely unacceptably with his wife, showing elementary bad manners. But it is not in vain that they say that the wife is the "second half." By being impolite towards her, the husband thus shows disrespect to himself.

Know that the duties of a husband include the following:

serve outerwear to your wife, and not only in a public place, but also in your own hallway, where no one sees you;

do not read the newspaper at dinner;

to praise the cooking of his wife;

at any dance evening, the first dance must be danced with your wife;

compliment your wife, notice her new dress or new hairstyle;

passing through the door, let his wife in first. Get out of the trolley bus first and give your wife a hand;

from time to time to give his wife small gifts and buy flowers for no reason;

in the presence of his wife not to look after other women;

forever forget the argument: "I earn and demand that.";

do not walk around the apartment half-dressed;

when leaving home on weekends or after hours, always inform your wife of the purpose of your departure and the time of your return;

show interest in how his wife spent time in his absence;

talk with his wife on various topics, and not just about household chores.

However, you should not show your attention to your wife by unbridled criticism of everything that seems wrong to you. Day after day criticizing her character, her manner of dressing, her methods of raising children, her friends, and so on, remember that even the calmest woman's patience eventually wears out. By the way, such behavior of a man is often the result of his self-doubt, low self-esteem, so the wife needs to emphasize the merits of her husband more often, to notice all his achievements. Often the wife takes the place of the family critic.

A wife should also remember to be polite towards her husband. She should pay attention to the following:

when choosing outfits and accessories for them, listen to the opinion of your husband, and not just to the advice of your girlfriends;

try as often as possible to cook what your husband loves;

do not interfere in the sphere of his "sacred interests": do not rummage through his briefcase or bag, do not take his personal belongings without permission, do not put things in order in his box;

if your husband once again tells the same story in the company, which is pretty boring to you, or a bearded anecdote, do not try to cut off his speech with the phrase: “Everyone has already heard this”;

do not criticize him in front of your children. And in general, do not sort things out with him in front of children, this can be done without witnesses;

do not control the husband explicitly;

in no case do not express indignation regarding his attachment to his mother;

praise him more often, make compliments, listen carefully to his advice;

do not invite guests into the house who are not attractive to him, and do not persuade him to go to visit people whose company he does not like;

do not remember the merits of the first husband if you married a second time.

Of course, there are different situations in life, and conflicts cannot always be avoided. But if they continue too often, the initiator of quarrels should think and find the reason for their own nervousness, because of which quarrels occur.

During a showdown, you should not resort to irony, because. this usually offends the opposing party and provokes a retaliatory protest. State all your arguments in an even tone, calmly and politely. Aggressive, commanding or capricious intonations are negatively perceived. In disputes, try to avoid omissions, and it is absolutely stupid and ugly, quarreling, to threaten your spouse.

In a dispute, one should not refer to the opinion of third parties. It is worthwhile during the most friendly conversation to bring the opinion of the mother of one of the spouses, as a calm and polite argument turns into a scandal.

You should not resort to generalizations. If you are unhappy with some mistake made by your spouse at a party, do not start an accusatory speech with the words: "You always.". It is necessary to speak only about the specific fact that took place in this case.

Mutual claims can kill the most tender feelings, even if reproaches are well-deserved. The one to whom they are presented will subconsciously seek to isolate himself from the accuser, so claims that are made too often can lead to a break.

Try to make comments to loved ones in a friendly and unobtrusive way, do not repeat them many times. If a person does not respond to your comments, this does not mean that he did not hear them. He probably cannot or does not want to do otherwise. Forgive those you love for their weaknesses, because you are unlikely to have no flaws at all. However, this is not a call for forgiveness at all. If a person is demanding of himself, he can expect the same from his loved ones. The most important thing is to find the right time and the right form for expressing the requirements.

It is impossible to avoid quarrels in the family, but they should not be frequent, and after reconciliation, the conflict, as well as the reason for its occurrence, must be immediately forgotten.

In general, it is better to extinguish quarrels in the bud, and not to inflate to the size of a universal fire. You can, of course, ask a loved one why he did this and not otherwise, but if his answer did not satisfy you, do not try to "press him against the wall." Family etiquette recommends: all statements of one partner must be taken on faith - by others. Do not try to catch a loved one in a lie.

Even in a quarrel, do not use harsh expressions. An angry, albeit sincere phrase: "You're crazy!" - it is better to replace it with polite: "You are mistaken, dear." Harsh and rude words, even if they are spoken without malicious intent, can hurt a person painfully and leave an unpleasant aftertaste in his soul for a long time.

The foundations of good parenting are laid in childhood, but if parents demand from their children what they never do themselves, they are unlikely to achieve what they want. No matter how a father or mother inspires a son or daughter that it is ugly to speak obscene words, the child will never accept this if the parents themselves often use profanity in quarrels. It is natural for a child to imitate those who are authority for him, and these are, first of all, the parents. If you want your child to be polite - become an example for him.

If you want your child to learn good manners, try to teach them as early as possible. As soon as the baby began to eat on his own, give him children's cutlery. The sooner you start teaching your child the rules of etiquette, the sooner he will learn to behave correctly and naturally, not only at the table, but also in other situations. However, it is worth remembering that even if friends admire your baby, it is still too early for him to sit at a common table with adult guests. During the celebration, it is better to seat the children at a separate table.

When several children grow up in a family, polite and friendly relations should exist between brothers and sisters. This is possible if parents love their children equally and do not give any of them a reason to feel that he is treated worse than the other.

Of course, no family can do without quarrels, this is a familiar and common thing. But those parents who believe that children should figure it out themselves are wrong: in no case should it be allowed to come to a fight or swear words. Children need to be taught to control themselves, this will help them in the future to maintain self-control even in the most difficult situations.

Children grow up, and there comes an age that is commonly called "difficult". Indeed, sometimes it can be very difficult to find a common language with a teenager who was affectionate and obedient just a year or two ago, and now has suddenly become sharp and withdrawn. It seems that the wall of misunderstanding that has appeared between parents and their child is insurmountable. However, this is not at all the case: if the mother and father are friendly to the child, respect him, share their thoughts with him on many issues, give practical and smart advice and do not hesitate to ask his opinion, peace and mutual understanding will reign in the family.

The influence of the family on the formation of the spiritual and moral character of the police officer

Moral and aesthetic education plays a significant role in the professional training of police officers.

Moral education is a process of active and purposeful influence on employees in order to form positive moral qualities in them. To understand the features of the system of moral education, it is necessary to reveal its basic principles: purposefulness, a combination of high requirements with respect for the individual, education in a team and through a team, individual approach, continuity, activity and initiative of the educated.

Purposefulness is such an educational activity when the educator clearly imagines whom and how he is going to educate, what qualities should be formed in the subordinate, what beliefs should be developed in him, what feelings should be developed. In order to set specific goals for yourself, it is necessary to study your subordinates, their character traits, temperament, their views and beliefs. Only in this case it is possible to achieve positive results.

A combination of high standards with respect for the individual. In an effort to form certain qualities in your subordinates, in no case should you offend them, humiliate their self-esteem. Otherwise, the results of education will be sharply negative. This principle also warns against two wrong approaches in education, which, unfortunately, still take place:

1) authoritarian upbringing - oriented towards rigid coercion and suppression; b) liberal upbringing - leaning towards forgiveness.

Education is possible in a team and through a team. Sometimes the impact of the team on the employee is more effective than disciplinary measures.

It should be borne in mind that the collective implements educational opportunities only if a favorable moral atmosphere has developed in it. If, however, mutual hostility reigns in the collective, covering up bad deeds in the form of "mutual responsibility", then the moral and educational impact of such a collective turns out to be extremely negative.

The principle of an individual approach to your subordinates involves taking into account the characteristics of each personality: its character, temperament, level of knowledge of abilities, strengths and weaknesses. Educational impact should not be the same for everyone. Some people respond better to a strict and demanding attitude towards them, while others, on the contrary, respond to praise and support, and from sharp reproaches they withdraw into themselves and lose interest in the matter.

The tasks of moral education are: the formation of positive moral qualities among employees of internal affairs bodies; the fight against the antipodes of morality that take place among employees of the internal affairs bodies (acquisitiveness, bureaucracy, violations of discipline, sycophancy, servility, bribery, drunkenness).

The main methods of moral education are: persuasion, example, moral authority of the leader, coercion, disciplinary measures.

Persuasion is an impact on a person, during which the assimilation of norms, values, principles of morality takes place.

Personal example. In the example, there is always a sense of concreteness, the unity of word and deed.

moral authority of the leader. This method is effective provided that the leader himself has a high moral culture.

Coercion - this method can be used if the subordinate does not respond to the above means.

Aesthetic education is a purposeful system of formation of a person who not only perceives beauty, but also strives to live and create according to the laws of beauty.

The main tasks of aesthetic education are: the formation of aesthetic tastes, ideals, the development of the ability to correctly understand aesthetic values; the formation of the need for employees to affirm the beautiful in their activities - in work, in lifestyle, in everyday life.

Aesthetic education plays an important role in improving the culture of service activities, contributes to the efficiency of work and the growth of the prestige of the internal affairs bodies. Now, more than ever, our country needs not only highly professional, but also intelligent police, which the population respects and provides all kinds of support for.

ethics family moral aesthetic

The main principles of aesthetic education are: the principle of universality of aesthetic education and art education, the principle of unity of aesthetic and moral education, the principle of the complex impact of various types of art, the principle of creative amateur performance of police officers The principle of universality of aesthetic education and art education. To understand the beautiful, appropriate preparation is necessary, i.e. art education.

The principle of unity of aesthetic and moral education. An employee who is aesthetically developed, as a rule, is also a highly moral person. And he will not allow himself to get drunk, swear, be rude. The principle of the complex impact of various types of art. An aesthetically developed person should have at least a minimum of knowledge and various types of art. The principle of creative amateur performance of police officers. It is necessary to study the abilities of your subordinates, their hobbies and encourage them in every possible way. The methods of aesthetic education are similar to the methods of moral education. The main ones include: persuasion, personal example, encouragement, coercion, disciplinary measures. The role of the family in education is well known and generally recognized. The family is the first sculptor who begins to sculpt both physically and spiritually born personality. Note that in our time, family traditions are of particular importance. They have their roots in ancient times and in one way or another have always been connected with the way of family life of the people, with their way of life. They regulate the behavior and actions of family members, leave a peculiar imprint on the formation of thoughts and feelings. It is no coincidence that entire dynasties of the military very often take shape in our country. Police officers are no exception. Honor, devotion to the Motherland and law-abidingness are actually inherited from them. It can be said that service to the Motherland has become a good tradition in some families. Family traditions are understood as the customs, order and norms of behavior of family members, and it is they that are transmitted from the older generation to the younger. A person is not born with a ready-made moral behavior. In the process of his formation as a person, a person, perceiving the life of other people and his own life with consciousness, begins to realize himself as a person. Understanding in a childish way the essence of human relations, he similarly builds his relations with family members, with other people, with society as a whole. So a person fixes in his mind the norms and rules of behavior that exist in the family.

List of sources used

1. Budanov A.V. Pedagogy of personal professional security of police officers. - M., 1992.

2. Zeer E.F. Psychology of professions. - Yekaterinburg, 1997.

3. Psychology and pedagogy in law enforcement activities of internal affairs bodies. Textbook / Ed. cand. legal Nauk I.D. Marinovskaya. - M.: MUI of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of Russia; Publishing house "Shield-M", 1997.

4. Psychology. Pedagogy. Ethics. Textbook for universities / O.V. Afanasiev, V.Yu. Kuznetsov, I.P. Levchenko and others; Under the editorship of prof. Yu.V. Naumkin. - M.: Law and Law, UNITI, 1999.

5. Stolyarenko A.M. Applied legal psychology. - M., 2001.

6. Stolyarenko A.M. Psychology and Pedagogy: Textbook for High Schools. - M., 2001.

7. Legal Pedagogy: Textbook for university students / Ed. prof. V.Ya. Kikotya, prof. A.M. Stolyarenko. - M.: UNITI - DANA, Law and Law, 2004.

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Family values

Completed by: Evgeka Akhmedshin

Introduction

1. Family values

2. Moral foundations of the family

Conclusion

Bibliography

Introduction

An ideal family is unthinkable without love. Love is warmth, tenderness, joy. This is the main driving force of the development of mankind, for the sake of which we all exist, that which moves a person to recklessly heroic deeds. "I love, and therefore I live ..." (V. Vysotsky)

More than once, philosophers and sociologists have raised the question of the crisis of the institution of the family, and even predicted its disappearance in the future. The structure of the family as a small social group has changed: families have decreased, many families have appeared that were formed after remarriage, single mothers. But marriage still has a high prestige, people don't want to live alone. The educational function of the family remains important, but a large role is assigned to the state and society: children are brought up in nurseries, kindergartens, schools, and the media also have a significant impact. The recreational function of the family is also important, i.e. mutual assistance, maintenance of health, organization of rest and leisure. In the modern world, with its high social pace, the family turns into an outlet where a person restores his mental and physical strength. One of the main functions of the family, reproductive, does not change; procreation function. Thus, nothing and no one can replace the functions of the family.

In our country, great attention is paid to the family. “The family is under state protection” 1 . Modern marriage and family relations require that the husband and wife have a high level of moral, ethical, psychological and pedagogical culture of marriage. It is important to help the younger generation in the successful development of personal qualities, the ability to understand their own qualities and the qualities of other people. That is why the preparation of the younger generation for family life should be given the closest attention. Such training contains the following aspects: general social, ethical, legal, psychological, pedagogical, aesthetic, economic and economic.

The family is a very important, responsible business of a person. The family brings fullness of life, happiness, but every family is, first of all, a big business of national importance 2 . And the goal of our society is the happiness of people, and one of its most important components is a healthy, strong family, because it is she who raises and educates a new generation. Consequently, the state should pay even more attention to caring for the family: increasing real incomes, social benefits and benefits, housing security, etc.

So, family life requires from a person very different knowledge and skills, as well as skills that are formed in everyday life, starting from the parental family.

If spouses love each other, feel deep sympathy, but cannot find a common language, they experience great difficulties. Love brings together; but a family is at least two different people with their own attitudes towards different aspects of life. In the family, clashes of opinions, ideas, interests, needs are inevitable. Full agreement is not always possible even if desired. One of the spouses with such an orientation would have to give up their aspirations, interests, etc. The better the relationship between spouses, the easier it is for them to raise children. Parental education is, first of all, a great job of building a permanent and lasting psychological contact with a child at any age.

The family is a product of the social system, it changes with the change of this system. But despite this, divorce is an acute social problem.

Divorce is the strongest emotional and mental shock that does not go unnoticed for spouses. As a mass phenomenon, divorces play a predominantly negative role both in changing the birth rate and in raising children.

Divorce is assessed as a blessing only if it changes for the better the conditions for the formation of the child's personality, puts an end to the negative impact on the child's psyche of marital conflicts. A family can live if it performs poorly or does not perform at all any of its functions other than parental. The family dies if it ceases to do what it was created for - the upbringing of children.

1. Family values

As a cell of society, the family reflects its ideological, political and moral foundations. Among the spiritual values of the family, the most important place is occupied by ideological values.

The family is the most important school of morals, here a person takes the first steps along the path of the moral and political development of the personality. 3

The active social orientation of the activities of the father and mother are reflected in the lifestyle of the family. Such parents grow up ideologically convinced children.

A huge role in the transfer of the ideological experience of the older generations to the younger ones is played by traditions (the beginning and end of the school year of children; days of majority; obtaining a passport, etc.)

The ideological values of the family include family heirlooms - documents, memoirs, letters, awards. Each of them is a testament to the life and deeds of loved ones, relatives. Careful attitude to relics is a source of moral strength, ideological conviction, spiritual continuity of generations.

2. Moral foundations of the family

Morality is formed in specific historical conditions and, accordingly, its very content changes depending on these conditions. 4

The moral code proclaims the leading moral principle by which the family lives: "Mutual respect in the family, concern for the upbringing of children." But other principles also directly concern the family - for example, is conscientious work not needed in the family? Or the principle “one for all, all for one” – does it apply only to public life? And where, if not in the family, do we learn a humane attitude towards people, honesty and truthfulness, simplicity and modesty, implacability to injustice?

Whatever moral principle we take, it becomes clear that it is assimilated from an early age in the family. The assimilation of moral norms occurs not from words, but in the activity, in the actions of people.

Thus, the concept of “family debt” is broader than “conjugal debt”: it includes parental debt, and filial (daughter) debt and the debt of a brother, sister, grandchildren, etc. Marital, family duty is an enduring moral value of people. And love is inconceivable without duty, responsibility for each other. So, children are the main moral value of the family, and parental duty is the responsibility to ensure that a worthy person, healthy physically and spiritually, grows up in the family. And the participation of children in the life of the family should take place on the basis of the rights of equal members of the family team.

It can be said with confidence that a house in which there is no friendship, good relations between elders and younger ones cannot be called happy. Therefore, we have the right to rank the friendship of parents and children among the moral values of the family.

Sincere, respectful relationships are established, as a rule, only in families where relationships are built on the type of cooperation. Families starting such relationships are distinguished by mutual tact, politeness, endurance, the ability to give in, get out of the conflict in time and endure adversity with dignity.

From the first days of its existence, a young family, relying on all the best inherited from their parents, should strive to create their own style of relationships, their own traditions, which would reflect the thoughts of young people to create a strong family, raise children, and preserve love. Mutual respect and understanding will become a tradition, while gallantry and high aesthetics will become a habit and remain in the family for life.

3. Status dispositions in the family.

The following constituent elements of this criterion are proposed: authority, power, democratism of relations, control, trust, etc. As can be seen from the above list of elements that make up this criterion, not only the value orientation of the family at the level of parent-child relationships is subject to analysis, but also the entire spectrum of intra-family subordination. This refers to the relationship between generations also at the level of older parents (grandfathers, grandmothers). This also includes the definition of the style of intermarital communications and the corporatism of ties between children in the family.

The degree and quality of the manifestation of status dispositions in the family is measured using the following indicators:

1) the attitude of children to manifestations of parental authority;

3) trust in the relationship "parents-children" - according to mutual assessments;

4) the quality of parental control in relation to children (demanding, categorical, consistent);

5) cohesion and hierarchy of relations between children in the family;

6) distribution of household duties;

8) the intensity and quality of communication links with representatives of the third generation (older parents): communication and support.

4. System of rules of conduct in the family.

From the point of view of influencing the process of education, this value criterion performs a function in the family that is close to parental control, but in some cases its action goes beyond the framework of the “educator-educate” relationship and applies to all members of the family group. Thus, the rules of conduct accepted by all members of the family without exception determine the moral ideology of this particular family with minor children. The educational role of this criterion is most evident in the process of the formation of moral values and rules of life in children, since the actions and actions of the child approved by the family are directly related to the assimilation of the moral norms of society.

The effectiveness of the child's assimilation of the educational efforts of parents to transfer the system of rules of conduct in the family is measured by the following indicators:

1) the obligatory observance of the established order in the family. Empirical indicators in this case can be: the obligation to return family members home no later than a certain time, notification in case of an unforeseen delay; the immutable fulfillment by family members of their household duties, etc. The qualitative level of this indicator is measured by the grading scale: "high commitment - rather high - when both - rather low - very low";

2) tolerance for manifestations of deviant behavior both within the family and outside it. The level of intolerance in the family to manifestations of alcoholism, drug addiction, hooliganism, violence, nationalism, terrorism, etc. can serve as an indicator. To measure the level of tolerance, a similar rating scale is used;

3) the sequence of educational actions on the part of parents. The empirical indicators of this educational family ideology are as follows: correspondence between words and deeds in the actions of parents; lack of double morality in the family; adequate reaction of parents to the behavior of children, etc. The rating scale includes the following positions: "high consistency - more often consistent - when both - occasionally show consistency - as a rule, do not follow the sequence";

4) presentation of requirements to children, taking into account their age characteristics and capabilities. Empirical indicators of this indicator are based on taking into account the factors of physical and mental health of children, their level of social and legal preparedness, etc. The rating scale provides for the following qualitative characteristics: "always take into account - more often take into account - when, as, according to circumstances - more often do not take into account - usually do not take into account".

The criterion under consideration makes it possible to compose, through a system of indicators, an idea of the self-assessments and self-identification of the child as a family member, as well as the position of parents in the formation of independence of his judgments and actions in the worldview sphere. It is known that an individual can isolate himself only by feeling himself in the society of other individuals similar to him. It seems extremely important that the child has a free choice between the possibility of communicating with other people and isolation for introspection and improvement, the development of their personal qualities. The child's individualism index gives an idea of the educational responsibility of parents who consciously form such qualities of the child's personality that allow him to achieve a sense of inner freedom and emancipation in the process of growing up and socialization. In working with this criterion, a number of complex indicators are used, which can later be presented in fractional form at the level of simple indicators.

Undoubtedly, in many respects the happiness of the family itself and its moral climate depend on whether a trusting, loving atmosphere of mutual understanding reigns in the family between spouses, between parents and children. It may seem strange to some, but for the upbringing of a moral personality it is absolutely not indifferent: whether a child grows up with parents who love and care for each other and for children, or whether he grows up in a family where parents are kept under the family roof only by “parental duty”. No matter how carefully the lack of love and mutual respect is hidden from children, it certainly affects, introducing into the microclimate of the family the spirit of lies, unnaturalness in relationships, which is necessarily reflected in the formation of a growing personality. Teachers note that the love of parents for each other often becomes the main educational factor.

The teacher should draw students' attention to how closely everything is connected in family life: on the one hand, children cement the feelings of their parents, help strengthen the family team, develop their parents morally, on the other hand, children's well-being is impossible without parental love, trust, understanding.

What is the secret of mutual understanding and good relations between parents and children of different ages? Probably, high school students who are on the verge of adult independent life, it's time to think about it.

The famous Soviet psychologist A. V. Petrovsky identifies five types of relationships:dictate, guardianship, confrontation, non-intervention, cooperation.Even those who are inexperienced in matters of pedagogy would seem to “vote” for cooperation rather than for confrontation. But in real life, not everyone succeeds in cooperation. In fact, it is easier to order, to force a child to do something, than to convince him of the need to do exactly what the parents consider necessary. And if parents do not always manage to resort to direct pressure with teenagers, then they often do not stand on ceremony with kids. Meanwhile, the system of relations between parents and children develops gradually, the personality traits of a growing child depend on it. If in childhood he was deprived of the opportunity to freely choose the line of his behavior, if he was constantly communicated with from a position of strength, it is unlikely that in adolescence one can expect independent decisions and strong-willed efforts from him. Such relationships often contribute to the education in a person of the qualities of a hypocrite, an aggressor.

At the same time, of course, there are situations when there is nothing to convince, when parental correctness is obvious to everyone except a little stubborn one. Is it really impossible then to resort to a "volitional decision"? All parents know that raising a child without saying the word “no” is impossible. But truly wise parents know how to balance every “can’t” with a “can”. “You can’t touch the kettle, it’s hot, you’ll burn yourself, it will hurt, try it, is it hot? Look, here are the spoons, let's set the table for tea.

Skillful balancing between "can not" and "can" often allows you to avoid conflict.

Sincere, respectful relationships are established, as a rule, only in families where relationships are built on the type of cooperation. Such relationships begin ... with communication, with intimate conversations that are born in joint activities. It is in these moments, hours of communication that mutual understanding is born, children “reveal themselves” to their parents, and those to their children.

Each family has its own rhythm, its own style of life. The tradition of joint family meals may be completely unacceptable for those who work in shifts, for those who study in the evenings or are engaged in social work. And yetfamily time,a time of leisurely conversation, when you know that everyone is ready to listen to you and you yourself are interested in listening to others, should be in any family.

Families in which relationships are built on the principle of cooperation are distinguished by mutual tact, politeness and endurance, the ability to give in, get out of conflict in time and endure adversity with dignity. This does not mean that they are free from conflicts, periods of mutual discontent and alienation, but here good relations are considered an enduring moral value. And when clarifying misunderstandings, when clarifying conflicts, they always remember that it is not so important to prove to the wrong person that he is wrong, it is much more important to maintain good feelings for each other. And the confidence that peace and harmony in the house is the highest value helps to restrain anger and reproach that is ready to break from the lips.

In continuation of the conversation, the teacher asks the children to talk about family traditions. In the unfolding conversation, it is important to bring high school students to the conclusion that family traditions are a broad concept, it is not limited to the joint celebration of anniversaries, birthdays and leisure activities. The culture of the family, its moral foundations, finds its expression in traditions.

Each family creates its own traditions, but a young family is not built from scratch. Spouses bring to it their ideas of what a family should be like.

In many families there is a tradition to celebrate birthdays and other significant dates, to celebrate national holidays at a friendly feast. But does the family know how to make the holiday festive? Or is it limited only to a feast with a plentiful libation of alcohol?

After all, you can accept and treat friends, you can sit with them over a cup of tea with traditional pies. Of course, this is possible only when people strive for full communication with each other, and not for the emotional excitability achieved with the help of alcohol.

Deepening the conversation about the traditions that exist in the families of the students, the teacher can ask them to think about the question: which traditions would they like to “take” into their families without changes, and which ones to correct, and finally, which ones would they like to create?

The most attractive moral force throughout history has been love. Its power lies in the fact that it radically transforms a person, encourages the ᴇᴦο to strive for perfection with all the forces of the soul. Love in a broad sense is a moral and aesthetic feeling, expressed in a disinterested and selfless striving for its object, in a need and readiness for self-giving. It is quite difficult to build a hierarchy of the moral value of types of love. We can single out ˸ 1) a general attitude towards love, i.e. openness to the world, the need for closeness, the ability to care, pity, compassion, the moral value of which is in the elevation of the individual; 2) love for objects of a higher order - the Motherland, one's people, which, combined with a sense of duty, honor, responsibility, forms the basis of a moral worldview; 3) individual love for parents, children, a man or a woman, which gives a special meaning to life to a particular person; 4) love for objects and processes, which has an indirect moral value. Individual sexual love- interpersonal unity with another person. But love is not any unity, but a connection that presupposes the preservation of the integrity of the human person; the power to overcome alienation between people. To love in the moral sense means first of all to give, not to receive. But by sharing his life, a person spiritually enriches another. Love is also diverse in its forms and content. The moral value of love is that it mobilizes all the forces of the individual. But its peculiarity lies in dynamism and fragility, in its obligatory connection with physical attraction, in its ability to deprive a person of rational control over his consciousness and behavior. Exists Love, which combines signs of love and friendship, requires mutual understanding and support. Love-friendship arises as a development of passionate love or independently of it. The strength and value of love-friendship is in its constancy and durability, the combination of a rational and emotional foundation, in a lesser danger of a destructive effect on a person. and love-care˸ maternal and paternal love, brotherly love, etc., meaning a deep sense of responsibility, care, respect, knowledge of another person, a desire to help him in life. In the history of the development of the moral consciousness of human society, each type of love has its place. Since ancient times, there have been moral requirements to love one's homeland, one's people, in all cultures there is reverence for one's parents, and later, love for children turns out to be a moral value. Moral values of the family The most important institution created by culture to regulate relations between the sexes is the family. It is in it that a person receives the first experience of love, and on how rich and fruitful it will be, ᴇᴦο own ability to love essentially depends. and evil. The family is based on blood relations, but family relations have economic, social, legal, and spiritual aspects. The family as a social group has existed since ancient times. World culture has created three main forms of the family, the functions of which cover almost the entire spectrum of human needs and interests. These three forms are monogamy, polygamy and polyandry. The most common form is monogamy (monogamy). For European morality based on Christianity, this form of family is most conducive to equality, justice and love relationships between the sexes. In the countries of Islamic civilization, as well as in most aboriginal primitive cultures, polygamy (polygamy) is widely represented. With this form of family, there are practically no single women, but there should not even be a question of relative equality between a man and a woman, and love between spouses becomes asymmetrical. Polyandry (polyandry) exists in an extremely small number of cultures (for example, in the Tibetan kingdom of Mustang) and due to demographic and economic factors, primarily the need to restrain population growth. In this system, most women are disadvantaged, who are deprived of the opportunity to be loved, marry and have children. Morally, monogamy is more preferable than other forms of family. It is more in line with human nature. However, not every two people, even sincerely and passionately in love, can form a morally full-fledged family, and this process itself requires lengthy, sometimes very difficult efforts for mutual harmonization. The moral basis of the family is a specific range of values. Its core is formed by two people, united due to the fact that for each of them the other is the most valuable. A family needs a willingness to accept another person as he is, without trying to remake ᴇᴦο in his own way; rejoice ᴇᴦο success, support in times of crisis. Resilience to inevitable shocks is acquired by the family where a clear distribution of responsibilities has developed, a decision-making mechanism has been developed taking into account the interests of all members. As a cell of society, the family absorbs all the mechanisms of moral regulation of behavior, but enhances their action, since the connections in it are of a direct, intimate nature.