Illicit relationship between a Muslim and a married Christian. Gentile Husband - Spiritual Danger

Acquaintance, flirting, love, family - all couples in love try to adhere to such a scenario. But often prejudices, such as a different nationality or religion of one of the spouses, interfere with marriage. Is it really possible for a Muslim to marry a Christian? Or is it a taboo that has been imposed on us for many centuries? We will try to understand for certain the possibility of concluding an alliance between people who belong to different faiths, and, using an example, we will consider what can prevent them from being legally married.

Differences and controversies in religion

One of the first and most important obstacles on the way to family happiness in marriage with a Muslim can be disagreements in religion, since Islam and Christianity, despite some of their similarities, still sometimes preach opposite things, for example:

Christians are supposed to have one spouse. A Muslim can marry up to 4 wives at the same time.
Christianity forbids beating a wife for disobedience, while Islam advises: hit them for wrongdoing.
Christianity preaches the equality of men and women before God. Islam, on the contrary, believes that a woman is a lower being compared to a man.
Christianity teaches to be patient with other religions, while Islam preaches the fight against non-believers. “When you meet those who do not believe-ro-va-li, then - a blow with a sword on the neck” (47.4). “Fight the infidels and face-me-ra-mi. Be cruel to them!" (9.73).

This is only a small part of the disagreements between the two world confessions. But they, in turn, can turn the marriage of a Muslim with a Christian or Jew into a living hell if the husband strictly adheres to the Holy Scripture (Quran). In such a marriage, the husband will constantly humiliate and beat his wife for the slightest oversight.

Love and marriage are not the same

Yes, all ages and religions are submissive to love. Although for a Muslim and a Christian, marriage and love are sometimes incompatible concepts. And if Christianity encourages strong marriages and rejects causeless divorces between married and unmarried spouses, then in Islam they are more loyal to divorce, for example, a husband can give his wife a divorce just like that, for example, for the slightest offense or if she is tired of him. But even in the event that Christians nevertheless decide to divorce, it will not be easy to do this, it will be necessary to go through a long series of conversations with a spiritual mentor and prove to the church that divorce is not a whim, but a necessity. A Muslim can say certain words to his wife, after which they are considered divorced.

Of course, you can take a chance, but what if you get lucky ... Well, what if you get unlucky, and in the best case, a woman will have to humbly endure the polygamy of her husband, and in the worst case, remain in an unfamiliar country without a livelihood.

Leadership in the family

It is worth noting that the leading role in the marriage of a Muslim and a Christian woman is always given to her husband. And it makes no difference whether the wife has a rich dowry or not. Immediately after the wedding, the wife comes under the guardianship of her husband, who decides everything for her. She has no right not only to work without her husband's permission, but even to visit her relatives and friends. By the way, all questions about the improvement of housing, up to the choice of decor, furniture and utensils, will also be decided by the husband. And if before the wedding you visited beauty salons and wore fashionable clothes, forget about it. Now you will wear what your husband chooses, and you will look the way he wants.

Religious customs as a reason to think

Each religion has its own customs, which sometimes have some indulgences, but it is not customary to violate Muslim customs under any pretext, for example:

It is forbidden to marry and marry non-Christians.
You can not make decisions without the consent of the groom's parents.
It is forbidden to plan the number of children.
A woman is forbidden to go anywhere without the permission of her husband or his relatives.
The wife is forbidden to communicate with other men.
It is not permissible for a woman to bare her head, arms and legs in the presence of strange men.

The list can be very long. Violation of any of these points can lead to an unplanned divorce. Therefore, before looking for an answer to the question of whether marriage with a Muslim is possible for great love, think about it, but do you need it? Do you need a marriage where there are no guarantees, where a woman has no rights, only duties, where a woman is treated like a thing that can be easily replaced with another? If at least one of the points seemed wild and unacceptable to you, then you should think about the appropriateness of such a relationship.

Features of dating the parents of the bride and groom

If, despite all the warnings, you think that a marriage of great love with a Muslim is possible, then do not rush to legitimize your relationship. Trust me, it won't be easy. To begin with, his relatives must allow your man to marry you, and this is very often an impossible task for a number of reasons.

They already have in mind a Muslim girl from a good family, more often a relative.
You have different religions, and marrying an "infidel" is a great sin.
You have different views on the family, life, etc. You will have to live in a large family, with parents, brothers and sisters and a bunch of your husband's nephews. Doesn't this arrangement suit you? Here they are too, they do not want to tear their son away from the family for the sake of marriage with the "infidel".

And even if the groom persuades the parents to agree to marry a Christian, then in this case you will at least have to change your religion.

Change of religion as a way out

Well, the most difficult thing is over, and you were allowed to get married, but that's not all. In order to be legally married according to all the canons of Islam, the bride and groom must be of the same faith. That is, you will definitely have to change your Orthodoxy. By the way, this is very easy to do. It is enough to repeat this quote from the Koran after the spiritual person, and you are already a Muslim: "Ashkhadu an la il'yaha `illa Ll'ahu wa 'ashhadu 'anna Muh'ammadan ra`sulu Allah."

But for those who are interested in the answer to the question of whether it is possible to live in a marriage with a Muslim, while remaining a Christian, there is no definite answer. After all, if you follow the traditions, then not a single clergyman will conduct a marriage ceremony between persons of different faiths. If it is decided not to carry out this ceremony, which is unlikely (the groom's parents will not allow it), then you can not change your religion.

Muslim and Christian wedding ceremonies

The wedding ceremonies of representatives of the two world religions do not differ much from each other, however, there are some nuances here. For example:

In the Christian wedding ceremony, the wedding in the church takes the leading place, then there is registration in the registry office, and only after that comes the time for the wedding banquet.
Muslims first arrange a banquet, where all the numerous relatives of the bride and groom, as well as neighbors, colleagues and even just acquaintances, take part. Then, after the banquet, the spiritual person conducts the rite "nikah" (wedding). But registration in the registry office may be completely absent.

If you are satisfied with such a "marriage" without a stamp in your passport and guarantees, then go for it.

registry office or nikah?

Behind all the difficulties and misunderstandings due to religious differences. Parents met and approved of your choice. The only thing left is to choose how you will legitimize your relationship: whether you will have registration in the registry office or you will have nicknames (Muslim wedding), or maybe both. Many people wonder if marriage between a Muslim and a Christian is valid? It is impossible to give a definite answer here. Yes, it is valid if it was registered in the registry office or if the bride converted to Islam and the nikah ceremony was performed. If there is no registration or nikah was performed without a change of religion, then in this case such a marriage is considered invalid.

Religion is not a hindrance to love

Despite the large number of differences, both from a national and religious point of view, it happens that the marriage of a Muslim and a Christian can become not only happy, but also a role model. This will primarily be the merit of the spouses. After all, if you discard all prejudices and look at things soberly, one thing becomes clear that both people worship the same God, although each in his own way.

In today's world, and at all, many discard traditions, remaining only in words "Muslims" or "Christians". In fact, everything is completely different: the younger generation not only does not go to religious institutions (mosque, church), but also does not observe traditions, as prescribed by their religions. And only by national predisposition do they attribute themselves to one or another faith. Maybe this is for the best ... In this case, there will be no religious differences in this union, and two loving hearts will not only not look for a reason to quarrel, but will also be more tolerant of each other, and this, in turn, will be the key to strong family happiness.

In the book "Mu" al-Muhtaj, the well-known alim of the madhhab of Imam ash-Shafi'i Khatib ash-Shirbini writes: Islam allows a Muslim to marry women of the Book. These include Jews and Christians. The Quran says (meaning): "... [allowed you to marry], chaste women from among those who were given the Scripture before you, if you pay them a dowry for them ..."(Sura Al-Maida, verse 5).

The women of Scripture are considered those to whom the heavenly books of the Torah and the Gospel were sent down - Jews and Christians. Those to whom the book of Zabur or the sheets of the prophet Shis and the prophet Ibrahim were sent down are not considered women of the Scripture, whom it is permissible to marry. As the Quran says (meaning): “…the Scripture was sent down to only two communities [Jews and Christians] before us…”(Sura "al-An'am", ayat 156) - meaning: before the Muslims.

In order for a Muslim to marry a woman of the Book, there are a number of conditions that must be considered permissible or forbidden.

It is allowed if the woman of Scripture is Jewish or Christian, provided that it is known for certain that her ancestors adopted Judaism or Christianity before their abolition or distortion, since they accepted this religion when it was true.
It is allowed if her ancestors adopted Judaism or Christianity after the distortion, but before the abolition of this religion by the sending of the next prophet, if they adhere to the true part of this religion and move away from everything that is changed and distorted.
It is forbidden if her ancestors converted to Judaism or Christianity after they were canceled by the sending of the next messenger, such as the prophet Isa (Jesus), after the prophet Musa (Moses) or the prophet Muhammad after the prophet Isa (peace and blessings be upon them all).
It is forbidden if it is not known whether her ancestors adopted Judaism or Christianity before the distortion or after, with caution.

Imam al-Subuki writes that “If a Jew or Christian claims that her ancestors adopted this religion before it was canceled or distorted, or after distortion, but before cancellation, then her words are accepted, since it is possible to learn only from them”. If the people of the Book are at war with the Muslims, then it is reprehensible to take their woman in marriage to a Muslim, if she is not in the territory of the Muslims. If a Muslim cannot find a Muslim woman, then it is not blamed. Sometimes it is desirable to marry them if there is hope that they will convert to Islam. As did the companion of the prophet Uthman, who married a woman of Scripture, and she converted to Islam and distinguished herself with piety. Imam al-Kufal said that the wisdom of allowing Muslims to marry women of the Book is that women are more inclined towards their husbands and their religion than towards their parents.

If a Muslim married a woman of the Book, then she has the same rights as a Muslim woman in maintenance, divorce and the division of nights if the husband has more than one wife, but not in receiving the husband's inheritance property. The woman of the Scripture must necessarily bathe after the menstrual cycle and postpartum discharge in order for her to be allowed for intimacy with her husband. She should also bathe after being intimate with him. If she refuses, then she is forced to do so. She is also forced to refrain from eating pig meat and the like, which is forbidden to Muslims. If a Christian woman accepts Judaism or, conversely, a Jewess accepts Christianity, it becomes forbidden for a Muslim. If she was married, then their marriage is terminated, just as the marriage of a Muslim woman is terminated if she leaves Islam and adopts a different faith. The Almighty in the Qur'an says (meaning): "Whoever chooses a faith other than Islam, this will never be accepted, and in the Hereafter he will be among the losers" (Surah "Alu Imran", ayat 85).

From the foregoing, it is best for a Muslim today to refrain from marrying the women of the Book, as there are many conditions that are difficult to observe and implement due to the length of time (more than a thousand years) after the abolition of these religions, not to mention the change and distorting them.

It must be remembered that one of the important conditions is the for certain knowledge that the people to which the given Jew and Christian are listed adopted Judaism or Christianity before their abolition and distortion. It is reported that there were 1925 years between Prophet Musa and Prophet Isa, and more than 600 years between Prophet Isa and Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon them all). I would like to pay special attention to Muslims living in Russia, who, blindly referring to the fact that it is allowed to marry women of Scripture, marry women of Scripture when Rus' adopted Christianity in 988 according to the Gregorian calendar. This is 397 years after the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) was sent down.

As for eating the meat of animals that are slaughtered by the People of the Book, this is permitted, as the Qur'an says (meaning): "... The food of the People of the Book is lawful to you, and your food is lawful to them..."(Sura Al-Maida, verse 5).

But here again it is necessary to proceed from what is written above, i.e., so that the one who cuts the cattle permitted to Muslims, in fact, was considered from the peoples of the People of the Book according to the above conditions. If he does not comply with them, then he is not considered one of the People of the Book and what is slaughtered by him is forbidden to be used by Muslims.

According to the Madh-hab of Imam Abu Hanifa

A woman of the scripture can marry a Muslim. A Jewess or a Christian is a representative of the confessions to which the Torah (Tavrat) and Injil (Bible) were sent down. Islamic scholars have come to the conclusion that such women can be married, even if legal schools disagree on certain conditions. The Almighty says in Surah Maidat (meaning): “The food of those peoples to whom the Divine Scriptures were sent down is lawful for you, and their women are also lawful for you.”

According to the Hanafi madhhab, one can marry a woman of the Book, without taking into account certain conditions, except that she is among the people of the Book. However, some scholars believe that this is still a reprehensible (karaat) action. If one of the parents is a man of Scripture, and the other is a fire worshiper, then the children are still classified as followers of the religion of Divine Scripture. If a Jewess accepts Christianity, or vice versa, all the same, the decision on the permissibility of marrying her is not canceled. If a pagan becomes a Christian or a Jew, then her faith is considered permissible, that is, if she converted to Christianity or Judaism even after the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) appeared on earth and the Koran was sent down, she is still considered a woman of writing.

At the same time, it should be taken into account that a Muslim woman cannot marry a non-Muslim, even if he belongs to the followers of the People of the Book.

Canonical Department of the DUMD

Father, I have a problem.

What's the matter?

You see, I love one person very much, I just can’t live without him.

Well, what's the question? Sign, get married and live happily ever after!

Well, you see, my lover is a Muslim. He's not a fanatic. He eats pork, does not perform prayers, but by origin he is a Muslim and therefore does not want to renounce the faith of his ancestors. He believes in God, and we believe that God is one, and if so, then there will be no sin in our wedding. What does the Church think? After all, I am Orthodox, so I need to get a blessing for marriage.

Such a conversation happens very often now in our churches. And this is not surprising. After the Soviet era, there was a mixture of peoples. And the situation when believers of two religions want to marry has become very frequent. But how does God evaluate this matter? How to behave if such a marriage occurs? How to behave as an Orthodox spouse of an adherent of Islam? We will answer these questions in this work.

HOW DOES THE CHURCH POINT ON MARRIAGE WITH GENTIERS?

Contrary to the opinion of many, both the word of God and the rulings of the Church clearly condemn marriages between Christians and non-Christians. If we look at the Holy Scriptures, we will see that almost throughout the entire sacred history, God warns against mixing people faithful to Him with those who do not fulfill His will. Already at the dawn of the world, the greatest catastrophe of the World Flood occurred, caused by the fact that “the sons of God saw the daughters of men, that they are beautiful, and took them as their wife, which one they chose. And the Lord God said, My Spirit will not be forever despised by these men; because they are flesh” (Genesis 6:2-3). The traditional interpretation says that the sons of God are the descendants of Seth, faithful to the Lord, and the daughters of men are Cainites, and the mixing of these two genera led to the death of the ancient world. Remembering this terrible event, St. Abraham made his servant swear by God that he would not take Isaac a wife from the daughters of Canaan (Genesis 24:3). In the same way, one of the reasons for Esau's rejection was that he took the Hittites as his wife. “And it was a burden to Isaac and Rebekah” (Genesis 26:35), so that the latter said that she “is not happy about life because of the daughters of the Hittites” (Genesis 27:46).

The law of God fixed this norm in writing: “Do not take from their daughters wives to your sons and do not give your daughters in marriage, so that their daughters, who commit fornication after their gods, do not lead your sons into asceticism after their gods” (Ex. 34, 16 ). And “then the wrath of the Lord will be kindled against you, and He will soon destroy you” (Deut. 7:4).

And, indeed, this threat overtook those who violated the covenant of the Lord. Beginning with the terrible defeat at Baal-peor, when 24,000 people died, only a blow from the spear of Phinehas stopped the punishment. (Num. 25) During the reign of the judges, Samson dies because of the Philistine Delilah (Jud. 16), and before the terrible fall of the wisest king Solomon, whose heart was corrupted by his wives. (1 Kings 11:3). God immediately punished those who violated His command.

Moreover, this commandment was in no way connected with the concept of purity of blood. Rahab is a harlot, Zipporah is the wife of Moses, Ruth is a Moabite who abandoned their false gods and entered into the people of God. This commandment became especially important for Saints Ezra and Nehemiah, who struggled with the mixing of the chosen people with foreigners (1 Ezra 9-10; Nehemiah 13:23-29).

The Word of God calls mixed marriages "a great evil, a sin before God" (Neh. 13:27), "iniquity exceeding the head, and guilt that has grown to the heavens" (1 Ezra 9:6). Prop. Malachi declares: “Judas acts treacherously, and an abomination is committed in Israel and in Jerusalem; for Judas humiliated the holiness of the Lord, whom he loved, and married the daughter of a strange god. “The one who does this, the Lord will destroy from the tents of Jacob the one who watches on guard and answers and offers sacrifice to the Lord of hosts” (Mal. 2, 11-12). Is it not in fulfillment of this curse of God that the children of such criminals and criminals become atheists, and often die?

When the New Testament came, the law of Moses was transcended by the grace of the gospel: nevertheless, this command of the Lord remained in force. The Apostolic Council in Jerusalem commanded the Gentile converts to refrain from fornication (Acts 15:29), from which the interpreters deduce the effectiveness of all the marriage prohibitions of the Old Testament for Christians as well. Further, the apostle Paul, allowing his wife to marry a second time, adds "only in the Lord" (1 Cor. 7, 39).

It has always been obvious to Christians that they cannot marry infidels, and this was strictly enforced, despite the fact that Christian communities were very small. So swmch. Ignatius the God-bearer writes: “Tell my sisters to love the Lord and be pleased with their husbands in the flesh and in the spirit. Similarly, instruct my brothers in the name of Jesus Christ “to love their wives as the Lord Jesus Christ loves the Church” ... It is good for men and women who marry to do this with the blessing of the bishop, so that the marriage is according to the Lord, and not according to lust. So did the other holy fathers. For example, holy. Ambrose of Milan says: “If marriage itself should be sanctified by a priestly cover and blessing: then how can there be marriage where there is no agreement of faith.”

This teaching was directly expressed by the Orthodox Church through the mouths of the Ecumenical Councils. Canon 14 of the IV Ecumenical Council imposes penance on those readers and singers who marry non-believers or give their children to such a marriage. In accordance with the interpretation of ep. Nikodim (Milasha), this punishment is deposition. Even more clearly and without the possibility of any reinterpretation, the attitude of the Church to this issue is set forth in Canon 72 of the VI Ecumenical Council. It reads: “It is not worthy for an Orthodox husband to marry a heretical wife, nor for an Orthodox wife to marry a heretic husband. But if something like this is envisaged, done by someone: marriage is considered unstable, and unlawful cohabitation is terminated. For it is not befitting to confuse the unmixed, below to copulate with a sheep a wolf, and with a part of Christ's lot of sinners. But if anyone transgresses what we have decreed, let him be excommunicated. But if some, while still in unbelief, and not being counted among the flock of Orthodox, were united among themselves by lawful marriage: then one of them, having chosen the good, resorted to the light of truth, and the other remained in the bonds of error, not wanting to look at the divine rays, and if, moreover, it pleases an unfaithful wife to cohabit with a faithful husband, or, on the contrary, an unfaithful husband with a faithful wife: then let them not be separated, according to the divine apostle: for the unfaithful husband is sanctified in the woman, and the unfaithful wife is sanctified in the faithful husband (1 Cor. 7, 14) ".

The same rule was in force in Russia before the revolution of 1917. According to Russian law, "marriage with non-Christians is completely prohibited for Russian subjects of the Orthodox confession," and such marriages were not recognized as "legal and valid." Children born in such a union were recognized as illegitimate, had no rights to inheritance and title, and the relationship itself was recognized as adulterous. A Christian who entered it, even at that time, was supposed to be excommunicated from Communion for 4 years.

In the same case, when one of the heterodox spouses converted to Christianity, the one who remained outside the Church was immediately taken a signature that the children who were born to them after that would be baptized in the Orthodox Church. The Gentile will not in any way lead to his faith, and his faithful half will not be deprived of monogamous cohabitation throughout her life, and will not force her to return to her former error. If the unfaithful spouse gave such a subscription and followed it, then the marriage was recognized as legal; if there was a refusal or violation of these obligations, then the marriage was immediately dissolved, and the new convert had the right to a new marriage with the Orthodox. The great dogmatists of the 19th century, for example, Met. Macarius (Bulgakov) - they also considered it impossible to marry a faithful with a non-believer.

So both God and His Church categorically forbid Christians to enter into an alliance with non-Christians. And this is not surprising. Indeed, in marriage, two become one flesh, and how can he be happy if one of the spouses believes in the Triune God of love, and the other is afraid of a distant lonely ruler who does not allow to meet with him? How can those who wear the Cross on their chest and those who believe that Christ was not crucified be able to get along peacefully? What kind of family strength can we talk about when a husband has the right, on the basis of his faith, to make lovers for himself, whom he will call new wives or concubines?

WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THE ONE WHO MARRIES A MUSLIM.

But all these arguments, unfortunately, often do not work for those who are in love. They say: “I will be happy only with him anyway, and therefore I don’t care what God and the Church say.” One who says this cannot, of course, be considered an Orthodox Christian. But we also have something to say to her. After all, according to Baptism, it still belongs to the Church, and until death, secret ties unite it with the Body of Christ. This is both an honor and a responsibility. One who has already entered into a Covenant with God, even in childhood, can never become like those who are initially alien to the Creator. The prodigal son is still a son. God says: “Let there not be such a person among you who, having heard the words of this curse, would boast in his heart, saying:“ I will be happy, despite the fact that I will walk according to the will of my heart ”... The Lord will not forgive such, but immediately the anger of the Lord and His wrath against such a person will kindle, and all the curse of this covenant will fall on him, and the Lord will blot out his name from under heaven; and the Lord will separate him to destruction” (Deut. 29:20-21).

But from a practical point of view, such a marriage for a person brought up in the Christian tradition will certainly be unhappy. After all, the attitude towards a woman in Islam is unbearable for those who are brought up on the idea of love between husband and wife as the norm of married life. For those who do not believe, it is worth bringing the Islamic norms of attitude towards the wife, which that unfortunate woman will have to fulfill if she wishes to violate the word of God. So, from the point of view of Islam, "a woman is obliged to listen to her husband and render him complete obedience, except in those cases when he demands what is forbidden by Islam." A woman comes to her husband's family. Without his permission, she cannot leave home, as well as engage in professional activities.

The wife has the right to visit her parents and close relatives, although her husband may forbid her to meet with her children from a previous marriage. In some Muslim countries, a husband may reduce his wife's visits to her parents to one a week. The wife has the right to refuse marital relations with her husband only if he did not pay the share of the dowry agreed in the marriage contract, or during the period of fasting. Unreasonable refusal of the wife will lead to her "dismissal", i.e. divorce. The same will end for her and the use of contraceptives. The holy book of Muslims, the Koran, calls on husbands to punish their wives in case of their disobedience, disagreement, or simply in order to improve their character. The Koran says that “God has exalted men in their essence above women, and besides, husbands pay a marriage dowry…. Scold them, intimidate them when they do not obey ... - beat them. But if the wives are obedient, then be lenient towards them” (Quran 4:38; 4:34). The Muslim theologian al-Ghazali calls marriage “a kind of slavery for a woman. Her life becomes complete obedience to her husband in everything, if he does not violate the laws of Islam. The upbringing of children is the exclusive right of the husband. Even if the wife belongs to one of the "revealed religions", that is, if she is Jewish or Christian. The upbringing of children in a different faith is prohibited by Muslim law.

Let's add something more about the attitude towards women in Islam. “According to a common hadith - the saying of the “prophet” - most women will end up in hell. According to Ibn-Umar, “the prophet said: O assembly of women! Give alms, ask more for forgiveness, for I saw that most of the inhabitants of the fire are you. And one woman from among them asked: Why are we the majority of the inhabitants of the fire? He said: You curse a lot and are ungrateful to your husbands. I have not seen that any of those with reason would have more defects in faith and mind than you ”(Muslim, 1879). According to another hadeeth, "The Prophet said: I did not leave behind a temptation more harmful to men than women" (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

According to Sharia, “the testimony of two women in court is equal to the testimony of one man. Women are also forbidden to follow the funeral procession. A Muslim man has the right to marry a non-Muslim woman, but a Muslim woman cannot marry a non-Muslim woman.

But here it is also worth noting that, having married a Muslim, the wife should in no case expect marital fidelity from him. After all, he has the right to have up to four wives, as well as to conclude the so-called. "temporary marriages" for a period of 1 hour to a year (this is how prostitution is often justified). If the state laws of Russia prohibit polygamy, then in practice it existed and still exists.

So, dear ladies, entering into an Islamic marriage, you must be prepared for the fact that you will be treated like animals, and cheating, which is not even considered as such, and beatings from your husband, sanctioned by the Koran. (And for Muslim husbands, even in Europe, Islamic theologians publish special books on the correct ways to beat your wives so as not to mutilate your body too much, so that you can continue to use it and not fall under the secular court.) If you like all this - please! Just don't say that my lover will never do that, because he is good. In addition to your roommate (the word of God does not allow me to call him a husband), there is also his family, to which he himself is obliged to obey, whether he wants it or not. A little later, we will give evidence of what awaits a woman in reality if she falls into a modern Islamic family. But first, let's also say that you do not need to count on a long and happy life in a strong family. After all, according to the rules of Islam, a husband can easily divorce his wife. This may be a proper divorce (muborot) at the request of the husband with an explanation of the reasons, or a joint decision of the husband and wife, or it may simply be a divorce at the request of the husband without explaining the reasons in a simplified form (talaq), after he utters one of the established phrases: "you are excommunicated" or "reunite with the race."

In the event of a divorce, the husband must provide the wife with the necessary property "according to custom." A divorced woman stays at her ex-husband's house for three months to determine if she is pregnant. If a child is born, it must be left in the father's house. The wife, on the other hand, can demand a divorce only through the courts, referring only to strictly defined grounds: if the husband has physical disabilities, does not fulfill marital duties, treats his wife cruelly or does not allocate funds for her maintenance.

At the same time, if the spouses suddenly want to reunite again, then in Islam there is a monstrous decree that for this the wife must first marry another man, divorce him, and only after that return to the previous one: “If he divorced her, then do not she is allowed to him after, until she marries another husband, and if he gave her a divorce, then there is no sin on them that they will return ”(Quran 2.230).

CHRISTIAN IN ISLAM. DESCRIPTION OF REALITY.

But now it is worth giving examples of how these norms are implemented in practice in the stories of our contemporaries. To begin with, let's cite an excerpt from a study by ethnographers who studied the state of affairs in Central Asia in 1980-1990.

“European women who live in marriage with representatives of indigenous nationalities are overwhelmingly non-natives. The history of their appearance in Central Asia is almost always the same: a young guy was in the army or at school, at work, met a girl, got married, brought with him. Several times I met a woman from a local Russian village as the wife of a Muslim. But there were no exceptions to the rule: it always turned out that she was not one of the old-timers, but came to the republic shortly before her marriage. Basically, these were those who were evacuated from central Russia during the war years.

Most often, Russian women agree to marry a Muslim, having a very vague and far from reality idea of \u200b\u200bwhat awaits them. Many go to Central Asia for reasons of material well-being and cruelly repent already on the spot. (“There, in Russia, he, that is, the groom, that is, dressed in a European way, says that he has three houses here. And they come here - what should she do in a clay house?”). Often a young daughter-in-law is not accepted by her husband's relatives, and circumstances do not allow living separately from them. Sometimes they try to divorce the young, because without the consent of the groom, a local bride has already been chosen for him. Quarrels begin between the mother-in-law and the “freedom-loving” daughter-in-law in Russian. Therefore, many marriages break up at the very beginning of their life together. Most wives in such cases leave back.

Some of the young spouses endure the described tests, and then, as a rule, the following happens. Women gradually come to terms with their role as a daughter-in-law in a patriarchal family, learn the norms of behavior adopted by local residents, learn the language and, in the end, as the informants said, they completely “become Uzbekized” or “Tajikized”. In order to save a marriage in this way, a Russian wife needs great patience. Then they begin to consider her their own and treat her well - however, only on the condition that she accepts Islam and observes customs.

With women in such cases, dramatic changes occur. Their behavior, clothing, conversation, lifestyle sometimes become indistinguishable from local residents. It happens that a woman almost does not remember her native language. Here are a few short but characteristic stories: “A Tajik brought one girl from Russia after the army. At first, when I lived here, I cried, I came to complain, but now you can’t distinguish it from a Tajik woman: by language, by clothes (she wears trousers), she gave birth to five children and outwardly became similar”; “She was married to an Uzbek, she became Uzbek, her husband beat her on the head…”; “One was brought from Vladimir, very young. Has taken root. He hardly speaks Russian at all. I ask her in Uzbek: - Why did you become like this? - Don't know…".

And now let's cite the recollection of a woman who returned from Islam, describing from the inside all the "charms" of the Islamic family for those who left Christ for Mohammed:

“Since the age of fifteen I have been living with my parents in Germany. I was nineteen years old when I met Fatih. He turned out to be the only young man who really shared my views on this world, on God. I was Orthodox. He is a Muslim. When we met, my faith was in the cold. I saw only hypocrisy and hypocrisy in churches. I did not hear God in my soul. It was impossible for a person like me to do without it. When I do not feel God in my life, I get the feeling that I am not living, but gradually dying, that life has no meaning. Fatih was just a good friend. He was sixteen years old, but he looked older, and from his behavior and thinking, I would give him at least twenty. He deceived me by saying that he was 17. When I noticed that he gradually began to develop some feelings for me, I said that we should not meet again, since a relationship between us is impossible. We didn't see each other for six months. My falling away from the church continued...

I thought about Fatih all this time, and I missed him. Once six months later, we accidentally met on the street, but did not say hello. And then they still phoned and decided to meet. Having met him, I realized that I had never met a more dear person (not counting my mother, of course) on this earth. I found out that he was very ill, so that the doctors saved him with difficulty. I imagined with horror that I could no longer see this person, who seems completely dear to me. I didn’t want any close relationship with him, because I didn’t perceive him carnally (on the contrary, it was strange for me to imagine that something like this could happen between us). But he said that he would not be able to treat me adequately, and I agreed to meet with him. And the next day he went to the hospital, as that illness resumed, and for two weeks I came to him every day, as a result of which I met all his relatives. This was probably not planned on his part, since he did not know how his family would react to such a phenomenon as a foreign and heterodox girlfriend. In general, they liked me, because I was shy and did not know what to say, and therefore I became more and more silent in their presence. When our parish learned about our relationship, a quiet panic arose. Our Orthodox people tried to help me, but pushed me more and more towards Islam…

In Christianity I can't achieve anything, I can't hear God, I can't get through to him. And Fatih guarantees me that Islam is also the right religion (of which I had little doubt). On the street, I constantly saw Muslim women, and their faces seemed so clean (internally), and I also really liked the hijab (Muslim clothes), I really wanted to dress the same way.

I read a lot about Islam and decided that it was worth trying to get through to God through another window. I pushed the idea of Christ as God into a far corner of my heart and said the Shahada, after which I performed a full ablution and began to perform the previously memorized prayer. I also immediately put on a headscarf and changed my name…

Soon we got married according to the Muslim rite. Islam did not give me what I expected. I didn't feel anything. I tried to get through to God, but He did not answer me in any way, not even with some kind of sign. Only in the Bible, sometimes opening it in a random place, I suddenly read the answers to my questions. Prayer was very difficult. Repeating the same surahs from the Koran in Arabic five times a day - what's the point? Is this a prayer? It didn't make any sense. This had nothing to do with Christian prayer, where you can pray both mentally and with all your heart, according to already written prayers or in your own words. In Islam, there is only Dua - prayers that can be said in their native language. In them, I often asked God to show me the true path. What is the point of fasting in Ramadan if in the evening you eat so much that you feel sick, and during the day you are so weak that you can’t do anything? And women are also required to prepare food for breaking the fast.

For me, the fact that without the community you are nothing was also painful, and to break away from the community is a huge sin. And how could I fit into a society where everyone spoke only Turkish? It's not only that, I just got used to independence from childhood. Fatih's family was not very religious. This family is very problematic. Father is a player, mother is mentally ill, so all family problems always had to be swallowed. After all, taking dirty linen out of the hut is also a sin. (If your husband or mother-in-law beats you, you, as a Muslim woman, should not tell anyone about it). And she had a very hard time in her husband's family, because her husband's parents did not love her, and her husband beat her. Yes, he beat him, he really beat him. For 15 years of living in Germany, she never learned to speak German. She has a 7th grade education. Many European women are surprised why Turkish women do not leave husbands who beat them. Due to the fact that the structure of society is communal, they simply do not know how to live without their family. Better let poor, but family. Their personality is almost zero. They all depend on society, on the opinion of this society and on its decision. The last one was unbearable for me. If everyone was going to go to nature, but you don’t want to, you should go. Otherwise, you simply do not respect. If everyone sits and eats, but you don’t, you are an outcast. Fatih has another older brother (Mehmet), a younger brother (Ilker) and a younger sister (Nergiz). The older brother is a favorite, Fatih is already less loved, since he is not the first-born, Ilker was painfully fat from early youth, Nergiz is a very shy, fat and hunchbacked girl who, for some reason, already at the age of 12 also began to wear a headscarf. By this, she, as it were, tore herself even more from the world, and through this from the normal development of individuality. She has no girlfriends, after school she sits in the living room and watches Turkish TV.

I was annoyed by such an unusual hierarchy for me: when I came to visit (this was even before the conversion to Islam, because after that I was already “my own” with all the responsibilities), Fatih asked if I wanted mineral water. If I answered “yes”, he said this to Ilker, while Ilker sent Nergiz. So are the parents. If they ask Fatih to do something, he asked Ilker, and he asked Nergiz (he ordered rather than asked, since they did not have the word “please” in their vocabulary). As a result, the guys grew up lazy. When I appeared, I had to do a lot, because I could not turn my tongue to convey the request to poor Nergiz. I must say that in general our relationship with Fatih was not so smooth.

After I converted to Islam, I often began to fall into tantrums, while scratching my face and hands, trying to drown out the physical pain from the mental pain. Where did the pain come from? Probably from the abyss that formed between me and God. Fatih tried to control me completely, just out of fear that something would happen to me, out of fear of losing me. He forced me to do things that in his eyes corresponded to my new status. I had to come to his house several times a week and help his mother, with whom we did not have a common language. She spoke only Turkish. I had to go to the madrasah, where I was unbearably bored, since the women there were only engaged in housekeeping, sweating in scarves and long-sleeved sweaters. There were no strangers, but the head of the family taught everyone so. They even slept in headscarves.

I had to spend as much time as possible with my family. At the same time, Fatih talked to them in Turkish, and I sat like a stump, not understanding anything and bored, because I was not used to not occupying my brains with something useful, even a book. He did not allow me to read almost anything, except for the books of Said Nursi (the founder of this branch of Islam) and perhaps the Koran, but only in Arabic. But from childhood I got used to reading a lot, and very rarely these were books that were harmful to the soul. I did not read detective stories and novels, but Fatih forbade me from psychology, and general cognitive literature, and the classics. I had no right to go anywhere without his knowledge. In itself, this is not so scary if he would at least sometimes allow something. Almost everything I asked him about, he forbade me. I mean, I've already started doing things in secret, just because the taboos prevailed. So, I secretly studied Russian, read the classics. Turkish was not very bad for me, but because of the terrible mental imbalance and constant fears of Fatih's wrath, I simply did not find the strength to study Turkish systematically. In his family, I still remained a stranger, because I did not know the language and could not understand the culture itself. How can you sit and wiggle your tongue so often and so much without doing anything?

I was struck by the underdevelopment of individual thinking and thinking in general as such. As a rule, the men’s company was separated from the women’s, and then I didn’t even have the opportunity to ask Fatih what the conversation was about. Fatih was terribly afraid of my tantrums and sometimes he simply did not know what to do with me. As it turned out later, he, the poor man, also constantly lived in fear that he would piss me off. And he, having good intuition, felt that I was not entirely sincere with him and did not trust him very much. He often had nightmares that I take off my headscarf and live dissolutely. And so our relationship was full of fear and resentment. Before the betrothal (imam nikah), everything was also very painful, as we needed to find out what we were going for and learn more about our rights and obligations in marriage. That's when it all started. He tried to convince me that I, as a woman, must be led by a man (especially in the spiritual aspect), that there is no other way, that I have no right to make decisions myself. He said that a man and a woman are not equal, while he constantly said that a woman is no worse than a man. I answered that he treats me like a small child. I can't make a single decision. Everything is decided for me. I argued that for my spiritual development, I needed to try to walk and get bumps myself.

We took a book about Muslim marriage and found out interesting things. It turns out that he has the right to lightly beat me in case of disobedience. I also did not have the right to divorce, with some exceptions (his sexual impotence, falling away from the faith, or if he takes a second wife). At that time, Christ stood at the door and KNOCKED IN MY HEART, which, feeling this, began to break. Open for Christ or leave the door closed so that Fatih does not run away? And on the day of our engagement, I, all in some doubts, took the brochure “Christian Woman” from my mother from the shelf. After reading it, I was filled with such happiness that I am a woman! A Christian woman, what a high rank, what a high role she has! After all, Christ was incarnated in the Virgin Mary. Salvation came to the world through a woman! Ah, that's how it really is. I saw submission to the head of the family in a completely different light. Because in Christianity there is a concept of humility… Reading this book gave me the courage to still marry Fatih. The engagement was modest. My parents were gone. By the way, about them. Mom patiently endured all this time my suffering, and dad lost a daughter in me. Only when I returned to Christ again did he say that it felt like I had not been here for several years, and then I returned. He was very worried. After the engagement, nothing has changed. We didn't live together, I don't even know why. It just so happened. However, I began to read Christian books again, including this site (“Orthodoxy and Islam”). I started to rethink things.

Then I invited Fatih to move in with me. We lived together for about a month. This time was very difficult. I was sitting with my mother (she lives nearby) and was afraid of Fatih coming home, because he wanted me to stay at home. Fatih, in turn, was afraid to come home to this atmosphere of fear and anxiety. I spoke to the priest. He advised me to start gradually conveying to Fatih that I cannot be a Muslim. I started from afar. Soon Fatih left for Turkey for 2 months. While he was gone, I took a sip of freedom and realized that I couldn’t go on like this. We talked on the Internet, and I said more and more directly that maybe Islam is not my way. He persuaded me to come to Turkey. There we often quarreled, and I understood more and more that it could not go on like this. Fatih accused me of many shortcomings, and I agreed with him. I really saw all my depravity and sinfulness, selfishness and pride, and much more. But how could I fix it? After all, in Islam there were no answers to this! Islam says what you should do, but it doesn't say what to do if it doesn't work out. And Christ came to earth and took all our sins upon Himself. And if only we turn to Him and pray to Him for the eradication of sins, and partake of His Holy Blood and Most Pure Body, then the transformation will gradually take place.

What do I care if they tell me "do" or "don't do". I'm weak. And so, after another quarrel, I told Fatih that I see no other way out, how to become a Christian. I cannot change for the better in Islam, and he wants me to change for the better. Since then, we have not ceased to part. First, he gave me time to think about whether this is really what I want. I flew to Germany, a few days later he flew too. He came not to me, but to his parents, and for the time being began to live with them. In the meantime, I put an icon in the apartment and brought a couple of Orthodox books. When he came to me, he asked what I decided. He saw the answer in the form of an icon. He left immediately. He said he would pick up things later. A few days later I went to church for the feast of the Exaltation of the Cross. He called me on my mobile and told me to be at home right now, as he wants to pick up my things. I said that I could not, because today is a big holiday. Then he just came to church. In such annoyance, I have never seen him before, he made me go with him. He told me something like this: “I found out from knowledgeable people, it turns out that I have no right to be married to you if you are a Christian, according to Sharia it is forbidden (meaning my apostasy). Become a Muslim, or we will part forever. And now your life means nothing, every Muslim is allowed to kill you.”

That evening and several more times, I succumbed to persuasion. I tried to convince Fatih that I am neither a Christian nor a Muslim because I don't know what to believe anymore. I felt like I was between two religions. Of course, all this was just a continuation of the betrayal of Christ. Fatih could not part with me forever, and we quarreled, then reconciled. He blamed me for everything, he scolded me for sacrificing the impossible (my faith) to him. Each time he parted with me forever and each time returned. And in the meantime, I became more and more churched, confessed and took communion. As for the fact that, according to Sharia, he does not have the right to be married to me, he said that this turned out to be unreliable information, and he continued to look at me as his wife. By that time, I had completely calmed down. The tantrums stopped immediately after I decided to leave Islam, although the situations were very conducive to mental imbalance. Our relationship was heading for a dead end, and we knew it. But they couldn't find the strength to leave. We celebrated the third anniversary of our relationship and soon learned that our marriage is invalid, as it is automatically annulled when one of the spouses falls away from the faith. And now, for the umpteenth time, we parted ways. Previously, it was only Fatih, and now I decided to help him, because I suddenly realized that it was selfish to keep him with me, since our relationship is a sin for him. And I tried to break up with him. But it didn't work out. All this is very difficult, he feels something in me from which he cannot forget me. Even if we don't see each other for a week, it's unbearable for him.

And how many times the Lord answered my prayers for him with the words of the Gospel: “And if you ask the Father for anything in my name, I will do it, that the Father may be glorified in the Son” (John 14:13) and “whatever you ask in prayer in faith you shall receive” (Matthew 21:22). I know that the Lord loves him too, and if he loves, then, of course, wishes him salvation. Since I began to pray for him, he seems to suffer even more. Expensive things are constantly stolen from him or he loses them (including his mobile and motorcycle), he asks me to pray for him. And I pray and believe in the mercy of God, as well as in Fatih's intuition. Sooner or later, he must feel, and then understand, where is the truth and where is the lie. Where is God's mercy and grace, and where is the cold of Sharia laws and black and white vision of the world.

And still there is no person dearer than him, we understand each other without words, despite everything. Now that I have become a church as much as I could, when I have come to know again the love of Christ, even unto death, for me, the last traitor, I have understood a lot in Islam as well. I now know that in the visible purity of the faces of devout Muslim women, there is emptiness. Once, while reading Said Nursi's book "The Miracles of Mohammed", I noticed some lack of spirituality in these miracles. I remember, for example, how the prophet had to go to the toilet and for this nature lined up in such a way that, as it were, blocked him from people. And the fact that many of the miracles were performed during the war against the infidels shocked me. Are miracles important? The prophet did some miracles and at the same time killed the infidel after the infidel, not sparing the life of people, which is holy! And during the first sermon of the Apostle Peter, about 3,000 people were converted, without any violence, with only one weapon - a word filled with the Holy Spirit. If Christian martyrs testified to their faith, then Muslims - by killing others. Is the Spirit of God here, is grace here? If it is written in the Koran: “And the adulteress and the adulterer - each of them flog with a hundred lashes. Let not pity for them in the name of the faith of Allah seize you, if you believe in Allah and the Day of Judgment. And when they are punished, let a certain number of believers be witnesses ”(24: 2), then in the Gospel it is completely the opposite: when“ they brought to Him a woman taken in adultery ... He ... said to them: who among you is without sin, let him first throw in her stone ... And when, being convicted by conscience, everyone dispersed, he said: I do not condemn you; go and sin no more” (John 8:3-11). Much of this can be found if you read the Koran and the Gospel. Praise God for His mercy towards sinners. Here I am one of them, and I feel His love for me every day. God bless you all with perfect joy!”

Islamic canon marriage law allows marriages between Muslims and women of the People of the Book (Christians and Jews). At all times - both during the period of the mission of the Prophet, and in our day - Muslim men could marry Christian and Jewish women.

Today, in the context of globalization and mixing of cultures, as a result of interfaith marriages, a number of problems arise in families, for example, with raising children in the spirit of the Islamic faith or instilling in them an Islamic worldview. The demographic factor is also important: the marriages of Muslims with non-Muslim women to a certain extent reduce the chances of Muslim women to find a spouse of the same faith, forcing them to marry non-Muslims, which is canonically unlawful.

As Vredinka correctly noted, Islamic marriage law allows marriages between Muslims and women from the People of the Book (Christians and Jews). At all times - both during the period of the mission of the Prophet, and in our day - devout Muslims could marry Christians and Jews. The reverse is not true, i.e. Muslim women cannot marry non-Muslims.

Christianity (Orthodoxy in particular) categorically forbids all kinds of marriages with non-Christians. So no one will marry a Christian woman with a Muslim in an Orthodox church.

So, contrary to the current opinion about Islam as a militant and intolerant religion towards all non-believers, in reality Islam is the most tolerant religion of all the religions of Scripture. Especially when compared with Christianity, in which there were and still are more narrow-minded fanatics than in all other religions combined!
The Quran says: “In faith there is no…

Please tell me, my sister lives with her husband (he is from Tajikistan) married for 4 months (registered not long ago), now she has to give birth, so her husband offers her a nikoh (Muslim wedding) but she did not accept Islam, and does not want to accept it, she is Orthodox, so the husband says that he agreed that the mula (in Muslim it is a priest) agrees to marry them, I tell her how can you be a Christian, he is a Muslim, is it possible to have a wedding without adopting the Muslim faith? the husband says if you don’t do this wedding, the child will be born “dirty.” Tell me if it’s possible to get married in a Muslim way if the wife didn’t accept ...

Based on my own experience of meeting such families, I can say that I really sympathize with such people. Even under the condition of high culture and tolerance of the spouses.

As a rule, they do not celebrate religious holidays, so as not to injure each other. National traditions, including the best of them, are forgotten or kept in secret from the spouse. Children often grow up to be atheists. Or they secretly join the sacraments of one of the religions, hiding it from the other parent.

Is it possible to hold a wedding ceremony between an Orthodox and a Muslim in an Orthodox church?

My daughter is Orthodox, her friend is a Muslim, a citizen of Pakistan. There are a lot of obstacles and problems for the legal registration of marriage. They are denied by registry offices in Britain and Latvia. On May 2nd my daughter got married in a mosque in Cardiff, Britain. However, she refused to convert to Islam. Is it possible in this situation to hold a wedding ceremony in an Orthodox church? What is the right thing to do in this situation so that the marriage is not sinful?

clerk

Dear Polina, of course, the Orthodox Church does not bless marriages with non-Christians. It is incorrect to use the term "Wedding" in relation to a religious ceremony in a mosque. Wedding is a Christian Sacrament that exists in the Orthodox, Catholic Church, in other Christian Churches that have retained the historical episcopate and priesthood. By the way, even most Protestants don’t have…

Hello! I am a Christian, baptized. My favorite is a Muslim. We plan to get married next year. He wants to be obligatory nikah (as he says, there is no need to change the faith, which, of course, I don’t want to do). I love him very much, and he loves me too, and we both respect each other's religion. Can we perform this rite, will there be no sin on me? And if our children are Muslims, will it be a sin for me? I am very worried about this, but even without it, “white light is not nice” to me. Thank you very much for your answer. Natalia.

Archpriest Mikhail Samokhin answers:

Hello, Natalia!

By itself, the Muslim marriage ceremony - nikah - does not make a girl a Muslim, if at the same time she does not pronounce the shahada - the formula for accepting Islam. At the same time, from the point of view of the Orthodox Church, any prayer with non-believers, including nikah, is a sin. An even greater sin is the refusal to raise children in Orthodoxy. And according to the Koran, the children of a Muslim can be ...

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Number of entries: 16441

I work as a seller, and I faced such a problem in relations with buyers: for all my goodwill towards them, only a small part of people are ready for friendly communication. The main style of behavior - I myself know everything that you are telling me here. I have sweets, so I talk about their composition, filling, quality of chocolate and its benefits. I understand that the Lord humbles me in this way, sending me such buyers. But here's the question - since the reaction to my story about the product is often skeptical, doubtful at best, at what stage do I need to stop so that further discussion does not lead me into confusion? It seems that you should not be silent - after all, I am a seller, but unnecessary verbal skirmishes lead to the fact that it is difficult to resist and somehow not say too much. I read from the saints...

Is it possible to marry an unbaptized (non-Christian)?

I am Orthodox and baptized. Married to a Muslim. We are not married, we have a child. How should I be in this situation? I don’t want to divorce and part with my husband, because we love each other so much. As for religion, I don’t want to change my faith, that is, to become a Muslim, he also doesn’t want to convert to Orthodoxy. My soul is tormented that I live with an illegal husband in religion. How to proceed? Svetlana.

Hello Svetlana.

Why is there a question of divorce now? Of course, before marriage, one should have thought about the fact that the spiritual unity of the spouses is the greatest family good. According to the canons of the Church, a Christian woman who marries a non-Christian is excommunicated from the Church, because in most cases she submits to the will of her husband, who can forbid her to profess the Christian faith. In this case, the woman will have to choose between her husband and Christ. However, if the spouse shows tolerance, and there is no danger of apostasy from God, then…

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Like any classification, this one is very conditional ....

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Sacrament of marriage

Can the wedding ceremony take place not in the temple, but, for example, on the seashore? ANSWER A young couple consists of a Catholic and an Orthodox (or vice versa): 1. Is it possible to get married in a Catholic church according to the Catholic rite? Will such a married person remain Orthodox from the point of view of the Church? 2. Is it possible to get married in a Catholic church according to the Orthodox rite? Under what circumstances? What is required for this? 3. Can a Catholic marry an Orthodox woman in an Orthodox church? Or will he need to perform Orthodox baptism? 4. Is it possible to get married in the Orthodox Church according to the Catholic rite, since the opposite happens? 5. What are the main differences of the Orthodox ...

Number of entries: 28

Good afternoon I am married to a Muslim. Moreover, we went through the Muslim rite of nikah. Before deciding on this, I talked with the imam personally. He assured me that it was not necessary for me to convert to Islam. Which, in fact, I didn't do. She was just present at the ceremony, did not repeat anything. Is this a terrible sin, and what needs to be done to be cleansed? And one more question. We really want kids. What prayer should be read for everything to work out? I really look forward to your help! Thank you!

Julia

Hello Julia. Why are you worried now, when you have already decided everything yourself and carried out your decision yourself? Whether it's a big sin or not, you'll see for yourself when you try to put your faith into practice. As long as you just consider yourself a Christian, this is one thing, but when you try to live like a Christian, then you will see that this is actually a marriage with a non-Christian. You should know that under the name "nikah" prodigal cohabitation is most often disguised. In the event that state registration of marriage was not carried out at the same time, then this is not a marriage, but cohabitation, no matter how the rite is arranged. And you have no legal rights in this case.

Priest Alexander Beloslyudov

Hello! Help me. I'm Russian. Muslim fiance. Can I pray for him and light candles in our church? Thank you.

Tatiana

Hello Tatiana. you should not write in the notes of the unbaptized, but you yourself can pray and light candles with a prayer. God help you.

Priest Sergiy Osipov

Igumen Nikon. Bless. My husband and I have been living with our parents for 8 years, everything is fine. Of course, there are disagreements, I used to get very angry when they drank and called guests, but now, by the grace of God, we live in different houses in the same yard, it has become so easy. Of course, they help us a lot, LORD SAVE THEM. The husband has a sister, she is married to an Uzbek, they have two children. It so happened that her husband is constantly drawn into all sorts of stories for the money of his parents. Either relatives came to him (here we are to blame, our parents threw such a feast that they almost left us beggars, and now they think that we are rich, and our son-in-law is generally a millionaire), then they themselves went there 2 times for our check. The most interesting, before he got married, and did not think to go there for 10 years. Then he messed up again, got into the money, and he and his sister fled. He again got into trouble, began to live with a woman, and took a huge amount of money from her, opened a store, almost a brothel. And so, his sister returned to him, knowing nothing, bore him a son, and then that woman took everything away, threatening reprisal against our family too. I was working there when it all happened. By the grace of God, we opened our own business with them and my parents, took money on credit and began to work, repaying his debts for 2 years. Now he has forgotten everything, demanded them an apartment, repairs. The apartment was mortgaged to my husband, it is my mother (mother-in-law) who decides everything, and, of course, all financial issues. And they go on vacation again in the summer. My husband and I have not been anywhere at all, and there are so many debts, we have 3 children, and at least they have something. When I say something, immediately "cats in the rack", they work there as sellers, my husband supplies, I'm an accountant, my mother-in-law distributes. They send their children to us all the time. I say: hire a seller, so they need an audit there, they are too lazy, and children with snot and fever - to us, but I still have my own little one. They do not understand anything, of course, and the mother-in-law allows them. I really want us to be financially independent, but my husband is silent. And now, father, I have become so unbearable, I am angry with the children, and, worst of all, I condemn. What do i do? Sorry for the verbosity.

Julia

Julia, your situation is not easy, but not very difficult either. There is no need to despair. Start unraveling this knot from your husband: he needs to explain it again, present the situation clearly so that he can "wake up" and take a firm position, and not follow everyone's lead. The most important thing for him is the benefit of your family and children. This needs to be re-emphasized. As soon as the husband comprehends what is happening, everything else will be much easier for you to decide together. God bless you!

hegumen Nikon (Golovko)

Hello! Answer the question: my brother wants to baptize his daughter, and he wants my husband to be the godfather, but he is a Muslim. Can he baptize a child?

Irina

Hello Irina. Of course not. Can a camel give birth to a horse? Even Christians who want to become godparents should not just be formally baptized, but churched Orthodox Christians, leading a life according to the commandments of Christ. Before the baptism of the child, you and the candidates for godparents will definitely need to undergo a catechization, where they will tell everyone.

Priest Alexander Beloslyudov

Hello, father! I am a Christian, my boyfriend is a Muslim, we are going to get married, he persuaded me on nicknames. I would like to know if I make nikah, children will appear in the future, I want to baptize them, since I myself am baptized, will I be able to attend church as before? Is nikah a sin for me?

Anna

Hello Anna. You can visit the temple, but you will not be allowed to the Sacraments until you register a legal marriage at the registry office and repent for participating in a heterodox rite. Nikah is performed by a mullah or an imam. A prerequisite is that the bride and groom belong to Islam. If there is no talk about this, then you are simply inclined to fornication.

Priest Alexander Beloslyudov

Hello, father! I am an Orthodox Christian, my husband is a Muslim. Daughter is 4 months old. My husband wants to take her to the mosque, but I want and believe that it is necessary to baptize her. How to proceed? Save me, God!

Ludmila

Hello Lyudmila! Since you decided to marry a Muslim, it was necessary to stipulate such an important issue in advance. Of course, it is better for the child to be baptized so that you can always pray to God for your daughter, take her to the temple, partake of the Holy Body and Blood of Christ.

Priest Vladimir Shlykov

Good afternoon. Tell me, please, how to pray for your daughter, ask for help for her? The fact is that when she got married, she converted to another faith. I myself am Orthodox. Thanks in advance for your reply.

Elena

In some way, you probably overlooked that for your daughter Orthodoxy has not become the most precious treasure in life. Pray for her, asking for enlightenment, with the words: Apostate from the Orthodox faith and blinded by fatal heresies, enlighten my daughter with the light of Your knowledge and honor Your Holy Apostles of the Catholic Church.

Archpriest Andrey Efanov

Hello good people! I want to thank you for your site, which I can resort to with a question! And thank you very much for your attention to us and help in our problems. Here's my question. The fact is that I fell in love with a man of a different faith (ilam), although I myself am baptized and Orthodox! What should I do? Will it be a sin for me to live with this man? We want to marry before God, but we, Orthodox, differ from Muslims in the rite of marriage before God! The question is, can I get married, being baptized in the Orthodox faith, with a Muslim? Does the Lord allow it? After all, as I think, as for me, we are all the same before God!

Lena, on our site there is a tag - "marriage with a Muslim." Please pay attention to this, click on it with the mouse, and read everything. Many interesting things have been written. But you must understand the following: civil marriage (I mean registration in the registry office), of course, is possible, but there can be no religious ceremony! Firstly, only the Orthodox are crowned here. Secondly, participation in a Muslim marriage is a betrayal of one's Orthodox faith. You are clearly in love with this person, I think it is pointless to dissuade you, but you need to warn. If he is a faithful, practicing Muslim, then you will first have to adopt customs (clothes, complete obedience to your husband (do not leave the house without permission, for example), kitchen, corporal punishment of wives, etc., and then, you see, not only a veil dress, but accept their faith. Relatives will force them. Think!

Archpriest Maxim Khyzhiy

I am Orthodox, can I marry a Muslim, I will not change faith, but I want to be with this person.

Akilina

You can register your marriage at the registry office. Church marriage is, of course, impossible. The Church does not regulate civil relations. But we warn that Muslims are different. There are also those who will demand that you convert to Islam, comply with its laws (for example, complete obedience to your husband), will not allow you to baptize your children, etc. Think carefully before taking such a step.

Archpriest Maxim Khyzhiy

Hello dear clergymen of the Russian Orthodox Church. I would very much like to know how the Orthodox Church treats marriages of people of different faiths? In particular, I am an Orthodox Christian, and my husband is a Muslim. Many people criticize us very categorically. Is this not a violation of the canons of the Orthodox faith? Thank you in advance and from the bottom of my heart.

Anna

Dear Ann! These questions should have been asked before marriage. Priests warn anyone who enters into mixed (religiously) marriages about the possible serious consequences of this step. First, who will your children be? How will you decide the question of the religious education of your children? Secondly, personal relationships depend on the traditions that the family adheres to. If you are a Christian, how will you celebrate your husband's Muslim holidays? This is unacceptable for believers. It is one thing to politely congratulate a neighbor, and another thing to participate in the Feast of Sacrifice with your husband. The family ethics of Islam and Orthodoxy are very different. In Islam - the complete obedience of the wife to her husband, the requirements for clothing, sexual norms that are not accepted by Christianity. Very often, Muslims and Christians live peacefully in marriage, when they themselves are of little faith, no believers. Otherwise, some of them, more often women, go over to the faith of their husband. Cheating on Christ... I wouldn't want your family to break up. Perhaps your strong feeling, conjugal love, will help you find a way out that God can arrange with his care for you. But "be careful that you walk dangerously." Study your faith, live in the Church.

Archpriest Maxim Khyzhiy

Hello, tell me what to do, a loved one proposed to me, he is a Muslim, persuaded me to convert to Islam, and just quit before nikah for a few days, now I am not a Muslim, because converted to Islam for the sake of it, and in my soul I remained a Christian, how should I be in such a situation, help

Victoria

Dear Victoria, you feel like a Christian, which means that you need to repent of the sin of apostasy at confession and take your spiritual life more seriously in the future. Go to the temple regularly, participate in the sacraments of the Church, pray at home, read spiritual literature, and strive to live a godly life. This will protect you from actions that lead to the death of the soul. God bless you!

Archpriest Andrey Efanov

Hello! I am married to a Muslim, I have two children, my daughter is baptized, and my son is not... My son has an important exam soon, tell me, can I pray to help him?

Tatiana

Hello Tatiana! Pray for your son in your home prayer.

Priest Vladimir Shlykov

Hello, please help with advice. I am married to a Muslim, he and his relatives are categorically against baptism. I want the child to have an angel and protection, and I say that there is nothing wrong with that. He says: go to the mosque, let them read a prayer there. I want to have my child baptized while I'm away, isn't that considered a sin?

Julia

Hello Julia. Sin is everything that harms a person, both soul and body, both in this life and in the next. If you can follow the Gospel yourself, fulfill the commandments of Christ, be a faithful daughter of the Orthodox Church and give a Christian upbringing to your child, then your desire to baptize him is justified. And if a Muslim will raise a child, then why baptize? He won't get any protection. Moreover, if you baptize a child, and he grows up a Muslim, then the sin of apostasy will not be on him, but on you. You have to pay for everything. You made your choice by marrying a non-Christian. There can be no unanimity in such a marriage. What remains? Pray for the salvation of your soul. God is merciful.

Priest Alexander Beloslyudov

Good afternoon. My name is Konstantin. My mother was an old lady. I was baptized as a child. But then I married a Muslim woman and performed the nikah ceremony. But I have not abandoned my faith, I go to church, I read prayers. I haven't lived with my wife for a long time. Do I need to re-baptize?

Konstantin

By performing nikah, you have already departed from the faith, dear Konstantin. You do not need to re-baptize yourself, and this is impossible, but you need to repent of this sin. If your old believer mother was from fellow believers, then it is enough to repent of this sin at confession. If she baptized you in some schismatic sense, then in order to become Orthodox, you need to accept chrismation. God bless you!

Archpriest Andrey Efanov

Is it possible to order a prayer service (magpie) for a husband, a Muslim? He really believes in it, I can't convince him.

Elena

Elena, you can’t order a magpie, but just a prayer service - you can. But it would be very desirable that you warn the priest that there will be a Muslim among the names at the prayer service, and at least briefly outline the reason why you are asking him to pray for your husband. Then he will not take it as a mistake, and will pray for your husband consciously.

hegumen Nikon (Golovko)

Hello, father. I have a question. My son is married to a Muslim girl. He himself was baptized in the Orthodox faith, and so was his son. My son is 8 months old, we take him periodically to church for communion, my husband and I are church-goers. My son's family always has holy water, and they use it often. They give the child water with it, wash him, he becomes calmer from this, sleeps better. In the last 2 months, their holy water turned green 2 times. On your site I found the answer why this happens, and I myself understand that the reason is in their spiritual life. But they keep asking me to bring them holy water again, and I can't convince them that they need to change their lives. My question is this: if the Lord allows their holy water to take on such a form as a warning to them, would it not be impudent of me to continue to give them holy water? How do you think? Thank you.