Fingers Chinese fan to read the full version. Chinese fan fingers book read online. Quotes from the book by Daria Dontsova "Fingers with a Chinese fan"

Chapter 1

Men are divided into two types: those who helpfully take their wife's old fur coat to the dry cleaners, and those who buy their wife a new coat.

I turned to the windowsill and turned on the electric kettle. Maybe, having looked into the light without an invitation, the girl will finally realize that it is high time for her to leave? The right word, there is no strength to listen to her moans.

“Dashenka, what do you think,” the uninvited guest continued in the meantime, “what is the main thing in the future wife? Ability to earn or non-conflict character?

“It is best if the chosen one earns decent money and at the same time is a kind, non-greedy person,” I answered. And, defiantly looking at her watch, she exclaimed: - Wow! How imperceptibly half a day flew by, and I still have so much to do!

- Worries will not go anywhere, - the guest waved them off, - especially at home. Why do you think I never have more than two dates with the same guy? What am I doing wrong? Pour another cup of coffee, please.

I silently reached for the jar that holds the grains.

It is true what they say, there is nothing easier than to complicate your life. A week ago, an old acquaintance Rita Grebneva rushed to me and right from the doorway, before she had time to take off her boots, chattered:

- If you do not help, my happiness will collapse, and I will die under its rubble!

I know that Rita lives in a tiny odnushka, where even a not very obese rabbit will be cramped. But Grebneva has an older sister, Zinaida, who lives beyond the Ural Mountains, who sincerely believes that relatives should see each other as often as possible, and once every six months, at the end of winter and in August, rolls into the capital to hug her youngest. And since Zina is a family woman, dearly loving her husband, three children and her father-in-law with her mother-in-law, she will certainly take the whole family with her in full force.

How can so many people fit in twenty-five square meters? Well, the sister and her husband sleep on the couch in the room, and the husband's relatives settle down on the floor. The children are stacked in a pile in the kitchenette - the son crawls under the table, and the sweet daughters snore at the stove and sink (it’s good that Grebneva’s nephews don’t go to school yet, but when they grow up, a problem will arise). Rita herself is comfortably located in the bath. True, the plumbing in the apartment, if we use the automotive term, is small, but this is sheer nonsense.

In earlier centuries in France, the aristocracy believed that one should sleep exclusively in a semi-sitting position, which is very healthy. This was told by a guide in the Palace of Versailles, and I, I remember, almost sobbed from pity for the unfortunate Queen Marie Antoinette when I saw her bed. Since then, I have been tormented by the thought: what if all the recommendations of modern doctors are as erroneous as the advice of their colleagues from the time of Louis XVI? Maybe you should not lose weight, eat low-fat foods and torture yourself with sports activities? Suddenly, after two or three hundred years, some one hundred and fifty-kilogram Dashenka Vasilyeva, eating cakes with whipped cream, will shed tears of sympathy for her namesake from the twenty-first century, having learned that she ate lettuce leaves and rattled dumbbells, wanting to maintain health, as the science of the future will prove : fullness and wolfish appetite - a direct path to immortality? After all, we now know that you need to rest lying down, and not sitting. Although Marie Antoinette died quite healthy. Well, yes, I digress from the main topic of the story, sorry.

As a rule, Zinaida lives with her sister for about a month. She and her husband work as web designers, there is no need to go to their service, the main thing is to have a laptop at hand. After the departure of her beloved relative with her children and household, Rita's right eyelid twitches for another couple of weeks.

Last summer, a day after another invasion of the Ural Cumans, Grebneva's neighbor forgot to turn off the tap in her bathroom, and Margarita's apartment was flooded. A friend called me at five in the morning and, interspersed with sobs, asked:

“I beg you, take us in for a day.” We stand on the street with small children and two old men.

Now evaluate the situation. At that moment I lived alone in a huge house in the village of Lozhkino. The main part of my family, along with the dogs-cats, moved to France, where we have a cottage in a small place near Paris. True, I accidentally acquired new pets and hired a Ukrainian Angela as a housekeeper, but my bedroom is much larger than Rita's entire apartment, and there are many empty rooms in the mansion near Moscow. Put yourself in my place: would you turn your tongue to refuse hospitality to a homeless family with three small children? Of course, I brought all the "drowned" to Lozhkino, where they liked it so much that the camp stayed with me for three months.

Then I took the noisy family to the airport and, waving a handkerchief after them, fell into euphoria. Only the presence of Rita kept me from dancing a jig right outside the reception. Then I invited the cleaners, and they cleaned the house, bought a new set to replace the broken one, changed the carpet on the stairs, which the kids burned with the help of the Young Chemist set, threw away the bed linen, thoroughly covered with brown spots (Zina's mother-in-law is a big fan of coffee in bed) , I bought a new mirror instead of the one that my friend's father-in-law accidentally broke ... Well, I won't list all the damage now, it's petty.

A month and a half after Zinaida's departure, the house in Lozhkino acquired its former appearance. I finally exhaled calmly, life flowed in the usual order. And then a week ago, Ritulya rushed to me and hardened as usual:

“My happiness depends on you!”

I hope you, knowing how the family of her Ural relatives stayed in my house, do not judge me for what I immediately said to Grebneva:

– Ritulya, I’m sorry, I can’t discuss your problems right now, I need to urgently pack my bags.

- You are leaving? she gasped. - In Paris?

Actually, I'm not good at quickly coming up with good reasons for refusing at the right time, but that day I was distinguished by amazing quick wits. The brain worked like a powerful supercomputer, and calculated all the options in a split second. So, now is the very end of winter, therefore, Zinaida again soaped herself in Moscow. Rita's sister really liked Lozhkino, she wants to make me happy again with a visit. Just before leaving, her mother-in-law said: “You have a wonderful plot, why don’t you plant a garden? We'll return to Moscow in the spring, and I'll dig up a dozen beds in a clearing. It’s sunny there, the cucumbers will quickly grow in growth ... "

As soon as I remembered her words, my tongue blurted out of its own accord about the departure. But Rita decided not to give up and asked if I was flying to Paris. And what will happen if I answer, they say, yes, as always, a flight at twelve-thirty from Sheremetyevo Airport? It’s as if Grebneva will shout: “Please let mine live in your house! They won’t bother anyone, the mansion will be empty anyway!” And then what do you want me to do?

The decision came in a second. I lowered my eyes and began to lie with an inspiration that Baron Munchausen could envy:

What Paris? I started renovating the cottage. Here comes the construction team. Can you imagine horror? I can't receive guests, I have nowhere to go myself.

- You have nowhere to live for a couple of months? she clarified.

- Yes Yes! I confirmed. - I'm not planning anything radical, just a cosmetic update, I think ... er ... finish by the beginning of autumn.

- And the animals? Rita did not calm down. “Where are you going to put Athena and Hector?

This question took me by surprise. Grebneva does not belong to people who love cat-dogs. No, she will never offend any of the smaller brothers, but she will not get a puppy or a kitten at home. Then why does she show concern for my pets? If I had thought about this topic a little longer, maybe I would have avoided future troubles, but the supercomputer, tired of work, again turned into the brain of a simple blonde, so I said:

They will go to Paris. And I, the unfortunate one, will have to huddle in a rented apartment, in terrible conditions. After all, for a short time, you yourself understand that decent housing is not rented out.

Having spoken out, I thought that I had saved myself from another visit from Zinaida with the camp, and tried my best to keep a dejected expression on my face.

- That's great! Ritula suddenly exclaimed. - As good as it gets! I will help you and you will help me. Complete concurrence of interests. Lord, I thought I would have to beg you on my knees all day, and suddenly such luck!

I realized that I had made a fatal mistake by lying about the repair. And Grebneva, shining like the May sun, quickly brought me up to date. But before I tell her story, I'll have to explain a few things.

I have a friend Sergey Nikolaev. His father, a former chief physician of a large psychiatric hospital, had long since passed away. But the mother, Maya Mikhailovna, who has worked side by side with her husband all her life, is in good health and still, despite her far from young age, continues to work. Sergei was married, but his marriage did not work out, the couple parted, lived apart for some time, then went to the registry office and became free people. I also know Rita well, we have been friends for several years. And there is nothing surprising in the fact that Sergei, once arriving in Lozhkino, ran into Grebneva in my house. They immediately liked each other, and they began an affair.

The candy-bouquet period has long passed for them, and everyone began to perceive Rita and Sergey as spouses. Everyone except Maya Mikhailovna, who did not want to have anything to do with Grebneva. The elderly lady got it into her head that Margarita Nikolaevna (as she called my girlfriend) is the reason for the divorce of her son, the naive Serezhenka, who fell victim to an impudent person who recaptured him from his lawful wife, and therefore considered Rita her worst enemy. Sergei tried to explain to his mother that his marriage union had burst long before he met Rita, but Maya Mikhailovna said sternly:

- You are no longer a child, and I have no right to scold an adult man, live with whoever you want, just don’t bring a slut to your mother’s house.

But half a year ago, Madame Nikolaeva suddenly changed her anger to mercy and allowed Rita to look at a cup of kefir. Grebneva did everything to please her potential mother-in-law, and achieved success - Maya Mikhailovna melted away. Now she calls her son's civil wife "baby" and loves to chat with her on the phone. But the elderly lady has insomnia, due to her age she has enough time to rest for several hours, so conversations, as a rule, drag on after midnight. And Rita works as a doctor in a cardiology center, at eight in the morning she must already make rounds of patients, so she is used to falling into bed no later than ten in the evening. After Maya Mikhailovna inflamed love for Grebneva, the latter catastrophically does not get enough sleep. To be honest with Sergey’s mother: “Excuse me, I have to get up at an unbearable early tomorrow” - she is not capable, does not want to anger the lady. Especially now, when Sergey invited Rita to go to the registry office - they decided to play the wedding in June.

In addition to her beloved son, Maya Mikhailovna has an adored cat named Rudolf Ivanovich, who was once picked up by her in the garbage. Koszak long ago forgot the days when he slept on pipes in the basement, and considered the waste bin to be a restaurant with three Michelin stars. Now he eats only dishes prepared in a special way, sleeps on a carefully fluffed up feather bed. And God forbid you call him:

- Rudy! Come here!

At best, he will ignore you, at worst, he will write in slippers to the one who dared to address his highness so familiarly. The cat should be called respectfully:

- Rudolf Ivanovich, if you please, go and have tea with buns.

Better yet, serve him a cup directly into a velvet-lined basket. Does it surprise you that a 13-kilogram cat loves tea? You just don't know Rudolf Ivanovich! He also uses chewing gum to keep his breath fresh.

Rita is allergic to cats, but after swallowing antihistamine pills, she pets the cat. And that one is amazing! - very nice to her.

Now Grebneva has to fly on a business trip to Yekaterinburg, she will spend about three weeks in this city. And Sergey the day before yesterday left for a tour of Russia - the future husband of Rituli is the head of the PR service of a large businessman who desperately wanted to become a deputy. Elections are ahead, it is necessary to win over the voters, so that Nikolaev will not return to Moscow before the end of March. And everything would have been fine if Maya Mikhailovna had not slipped yesterday. The old lady fell and broke her leg. Rita in a second placed her in the best clinic in the capital and hired a nurse. Sergey's mother lies in a private medical center "Surgery", in a separate, well-equipped ward that looks like an expensive hotel room, food is delivered to her from a restaurant, caring medical staff is ready to satisfy any whim of the patient. However, there is one “but”: she was not allowed to take the cat with her.

Maya Mikhailovna said to Rita:

"Baby, can you help me out?" Refuse the business trip and live with the boy? I will be forever grateful to you. If not, I will leave the hospital. Let my leg stop moving, which means I'll sit in a wheelchair, and I won't leave Rudolf Ivanovich for anything. He alone will die! Who will cook him a steamed veal soufflé with tender artichokes and savoy cabbage?

The doctors present at the conversation almost died when they heard about the dish that is fed to the cat, but firmly stated:

“It’s better for Mrs. Nikolaeva to stay with us, at that age a fracture is a dangerous thing.

What was Rita to do? She vowed to give a damn about her work, to settle in the apartment of her future mother-in-law in order to cherish the cat and every evening at exactly twenty-two zero-zero to report to the lady about how her “son” spent the day. Thank God, Maya Mikhailovna does not know how to use a computer, the Skype program is not available to her, and she did not demand to show her the impudent face of Rudolf Ivanovich six times a day.

Assess the current situation? Sergei cannot return to Moscow, as he will lose his job if he leaves the businessman. In Yekaterinburg, the capital's doctor Grebneva is waiting for the sick, she has no right to leave them to their fate. And what to do? It’s impossible to hire a person who will look after the cat - Rudolf Ivanovich hates outsiders and will instantly survive even the most beautiful nanny out of the house. And if suddenly Maya Mikhailovna finds out that the cat lived alone and was visited only for feeding and washing the tray, she will instantly hate her future daughter-in-law again ...

So Ritulya rushed to me in Lozhkino with an offer to live in the apartment of Madame's illness. What is not a solution to the problem? Rudolf Ivanovich treats me favorably, I am not a stranger to him, I remember the day when he appeared as a miserable skinny kitten in the Nikolaev family. Grebneva prepared to fall on her face before me, to beat her head on the floor, promising anything for the service. And what did you hear, not having time to state the request? A friend decided to make repairs, she is going to rent some kind of hut in order to turn over there while painting the walls and sanding the floors, she worries in advance because of the bad conditions in which she will find herself. Wow, how did everything work out so well! Hooray! Hooray! Drums are beating! Timpani sounds!

Ritochka jumped for joy and repeated:

- That turned out great! Maya, of course, is a wretch, she loves to hold her fingers with a Chinese fan, she always insists that she has a son, and a cat, and a house, and in general everything, all the best, and I am a mongrel who was allowed to warm up from the street. But I don't care about that. The main thing is that Maya should not make scandals before our wedding with Sergey. And then we'll see whose Chinese fan will be cooler, hers or mine!

I could only blink silently, watching Rita's glee. There was no way out, I had painted myself into a corner.

Chapter 2

In the vast, noisy, never-sleeping Moscow, there are reserved paradise corners, which many indigenous residents of the capital are not aware of. Maya Mikhailovna was lucky to get a job in just such a place. She lives in a small, gingerbread-like house in an old park where no outsiders are allowed in, because the oasis with trees and flower beds is the territory of a psychiatric hospital. Rather, the clinic was called that earlier, in the Soviet years, when Sergei's father, Oleg Mikhailovich, was its head physician. The elder Nikolaev considered work to be the most important thing in life and lived next to the hospital in a specially built cottage, which Maya Mikhailovna managed to take ownership of in 1993.

In the mid-nineties, the psychiatric hospital in some unknown way became a private institution where neuroses are treated for big money. Boris Pavlovich, the current owner of the clinic, and at the same time its head physician, dispersed the former doctors and nurses, but did not touch Maya Mikhailovna, because he once studied in graduate school with Oleg Mikhailovich and is grateful to the supervisor. The widow of the former head physician worked as a nurse for some time, and then she was appointed a housekeeper, responsible for linen, pillows, blankets, bathrobes, slippers, and so on. Boris Pavlovich could not have made a better choice - the old woman is honest to the point of idiocy, to this day she considers the hospital the brainchild of her late husband and zealously monitors the household. What I didn't know was that she was still working as a freelance psychotherapist.

Before I had time to enter the house and look around, there was a knock on the door, a girl of about thirty years old appeared and exclaimed in disappointment:

- Who are you? Where is Mayechka Michalna?

Having learned that the hostess of the house had broken her leg yesterday, the guest gasped, then unceremoniously sat down in an armchair and declared:

- My name is Elya, Mayechka and I are best friends. Why are you here?

I was afraid that the unexpected guest, at the first opportunity, would not tell the old woman that it was not Rita who had settled in her house, but me. So she quickly chirped:

- Rita Grebneva, my closest friend, will spend the night here and take care of Rudolf Ivanovich, and she asked me to be here during the day so that the cat does not suffer from loneliness.

But Elya seemed to miss my speech.

“Mayechka is always ready to give a person valuable advice, but since she is not there, you can probably figure out my difficult life situation,” she said.

And I had to listen to Eli's moans on the topic: “Well, why are all my friends married for a long time, but nobody needs me alone?”

“I cook better than any cook,” she lamented, “I take care of myself, not an ounce of excess weight, manicure-pedicure-hairstyle, I have a good salary, my own apartment - my grandmother got a big kopeck piece, I’m a Muscovite in the one hundred and twenty-fifth generation, smart , intelligent. Not a woman, but just a bar of gold! No, platinum!

“Then it’s better to say rhodium,” I muttered.

- What? Eli didn't understand. And after a second she continued: - Yes, I'm an angel, not a man! But there are no men around. Do you think I'm naughty? Picked up straight? I want a rich, famous, with a deputy badge? No, I don't need one! Give me the ordinary! And what happens? Everything goes great on the first date. On the second, at my house, everything seems to be fine at first. But when you call a man to your place, treat you to an amazing dinner prepared by you, then, of course, he understands that after coffee and cakes, you need to move on to a new stage in the relationship. And so I go to the bathroom, I return all so fragrant, sexy, breasts of the fourth size, moreover, my own, not silicone, but the gentleman has caught a trace. Escaped! I start to call him - he does not pick up the phone. And the next day I hear from the phone: “This number is not serviced ...” You know, the day before yesterday our cleaning lady, Farida, got married. A Tajik girl, she recently arrived in Moscow, she doesn’t know how to use a knife and fork, but she found, found, found herself a boyfriend! He is in charge of computers in the clinic, with a higher education, with living space, a car, he is an orphan. Why is Farida, who cannot connect three words in Russian, lucky, but not me? Answer please!

“Maybe because she can’t talk non-stop for two hours straight?” – again I could not restrain myself.

But Elya, it seems, was completely unable to listen to her interlocutor and asked the following question:

- Are you married?

“No,” I answered honestly.

“But did you go out at least once?” - the guest did not calm down.

“I tried four times to start a family,” I admitted, “and then I realized that I live better without a stamp in my passport.

“Four husbands…” Elya drawled with envy. - How did you make them go to the registry office?

“They ran there themselves,” I smiled, “I didn’t drag anyone on the lasso. And after the first divorce, I was sure that I should never go to the registry office. But you see how it turned out.

- Is there anyone now? the chatterbox asked eagerly.

“Yes,” I admitted, “a very pleasant man, Professor Manevin.

- And what, he also calls you to marry? she didn't calm down.

I smiled.

- Yes, I made an offer, but I'm not yet ready to change the status of a free woman to the yoke of a married lady. Although, to be completely honest, I like Felix. He has two pugs. Wonderful dogs, one black color.

- That's what I need! Elya jumped. - Please help me!

- I'd love to, but how? I was surprised.

- Maya Mikhailovna gives advice with pleasure, but what does she know about men? She got married right after school and lived happily for a hundred years. She answers every question with the phrase: “Here is my Oleg Mikhailovich ...” Of course, Mayechka is smart, but I have the impression that she was phenomenally lucky. She and her husband were terribly similar, even had the same middle name. I used Maya's tips, but they don't work! Understand?

“Mmm…” I drawled, again defiantly looking at the big bright red clock that adorned the kitchen wall. “Time just gallops by, and I still have so much to do. Go to the supermarket for groceries, for example.

And then the landline phone came to life. I grabbed the phone and heard a male voice:

- Miechka! I called you on your mobile and you don't answer. Already started to worry. How is our agreement? In force?

“Forgive me, please,” I stopped the stranger, “Maya Mikhailovna broke her leg yesterday ...

- How? - exclaimed, interrupting me, on the other end of the wire. - Where?

“Outside,” I sighed. I slipped, fell and...

- I mean, where is the leg injured? the stranger interrupted again. - Do you need help? Where did they take Nikolaeva?

“Everything is under control,” I reassured the interlocutor, “a fracture of the ankle, not the neck of the femur. Maya Mikhailovna lies in a wonderful place, in the private medical center "Surgery", she will stay there until she fully recovers.

- And who are you? the man asked a new question.

“Dasha Vasilyeva,” I introduced myself, “an acquaintance of Mrs. Nikolaeva, I will look after the cat Rudolf during her absence. Excuse me, who am I talking to?

But instead of answering, short, frequent beeps flew from the receiver.

“What Maya recommends is only suitable for her husband,” Elya said loudly. - I just figured it out! She advised me: "Make a chocolate cake for a man, and he is yours." I obeyed, but Cyril did not even try it. Or was it Vasily? Ah, never mind. And I, fool, baked this cake seven times. It wouldn’t be easy to understand right away: Oleg Mikhailovich loved everything with cocoa, and maybe give the rest of the guys a lemon cake. What did yours require for tea?

“I had four husbands,” I reminded, “each had his own passions.

- Here! Elya screamed. - It's good that we became friends! Mayechka Mikhailovna is wonderful, but in her personal life she is already very modest, and I need advice from a vampa.

- From whom? - I did not understand.

“A woman who walks over men like through mud is called a wampa,” Elya explained. “Have you never heard of it?” Guys flock to the vamp like flies to jam, vying with each other to call the registry office, but she does not agree, she collects suitors. Tell me how can I become a model vamp? Where to begin? Share your experience.

“Never been a vamp,” I protested, trying not to laugh. - I just fell in love with a person, and if he reciprocated, we went to the registry office.

Ella suddenly grabbed my hand.

Please, tell me what am I doing wrong? Why did you never get married? I'm thirty-eight now!

- Is it true? I was surprised. - You won't get that much!

- Oh, please, let's not "you", we're best friends! the guest exclaimed.

I glanced at the clock again. We went from complete strangers to “best friends” in three hours and ten minutes. It takes longer to fly to Paris. Let's turn into sisters by afternoon.

- Well, speak quickly! Eli hurried.

“I’d love to help, but I don’t know how you act on dates,” I replied.

“Exactly,” Elya muttered, “probably it’s a matter of some little things. I don’t see them, but the man notices and flies away. Listen! I have an appointment with Stepan today. The guy is promising, you don't want to miss him. That's why I rushed to Maya - I thought I would get instructions. And here you are ... And it's great that it's you, and not her. In short, come to me today at seven. Not far to go, I live across the street, now I'll write the address. Look at how I communicate with Styopa and correct my behavior. OK? Great. I am waiting!

Elya jumped up and wanted to rush to the door, but I stopped her:

- Wait a minute! Thanks for the invitation, but I have to decline.

- Why? the guest exclaimed. "Don't you want to help your best friend?" Come and eat delicious food. Without boasting, I will say: I cook so that you swallow a plate.

I didn't want to offend silly Elya, so I tried to come up with a concrete reason for not allowing me to make visits today.

- Rita ... well, that girl who will spend the night here ... works as a doctor, today she will come very late, but Rudolf Ivanovich cannot be left alone, his stomach hurts.

Elya frowned.

- I'll tell you a secret, Maya's disgusting cat is capricious, spoiled. Okay, then the guy and I will drive to you ourselves.

I coughed convulsively, then mumbled:

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to host.

“Don't worry,” Elya chirped, “I'll bring everything: food, drinks, towels, bed linen.

– Towels, bed linen? I repeated confusedly.

In the first second, I was stunned - I still somehow didn’t come across persons on the path of life, striding ahead towards their goal and not paying the slightest attention to such trifles as the desires and feelings of other people. Then I came to my senses and realized: Elya is definitely stomping here in the evening with tightly stuffed bags and a certain Stepan.

Thanks for the invitation, we won't be late! the guest chirped.

“No, I’d rather come to you,” I burst out against my will.

- Great! Elya clapped her hands and rushed into the hall.

I was so angry with myself that I didn’t even go to see off my “best friend”, I stayed in the kitchen. Rudolf Ivanovich's piercing meow brought me out of my stupor. The cat, it seems, was also pleased with the departure of an overly annoying and shameless guest, and now he was clearly asking for food.

I opened a can of Rabbit in Gentle Sauce, carefully filled a pink plastic bowl found in one of the kitchen cabinets, and made an inviting gesture with my hand.

“Sil vu ple, monsieur!”

The cat jumped lightly onto the cutting table, looked at the food, turned to me and said in bewilderment:

For some reason, it immediately became clear to me: Rudolf Ivanovich asks what kind of rubbish was served to him for dinner.

I looked at a sheet of paper pinned in the most visible place on the wall, near the electric kettle, and once again read the schedule of the day of my beloved "son" Maya Mikhailovna. Just do not think that I mean Sergei, my old friend and fiancé Rita. No, it's about the cat.

So… “Rise at six in the morning. Walk in the yard. Breakfast at six fifteen. In the morning you need to cook a steam omelet with the addition of natural, not canned salmon. Take wild fish, not grown in a pond, otherwise the cat will have an allergy. You can add vegetables to the omelet (make sure that they do not contain GMOs and other filth) or self-made crackers from rye bread. Buy a loaf for croutons exclusively in a store on Oleko Dundicha Street, where bread is baked according to the old technology. From another, Rudolf Ivanovich develops flatulence and colic. Attention! The window in the kitchen does not close. It is specially made so that it does not slam shut. Rudolf Ivanovich needs fresh air, there is a gas stove in the kitchen, when it is turned on, oxygen is consumed.

I looked at the window, shivered, and stared again at the meticulously written instructions. Can I not give a wonderful document in full? Let me just say that at exactly four o'clock in the afternoon the cat should have been treated to a chicken liver cutlet fried in extra virgin olive oil, exclusively of Spanish production - from Greek olives, the cat, you see, falls into melancholy.

Well, now I confess: having familiarized myself with Rudolf's daily routine, written in calligraphic handwriting by Maya Mikhailovna, I realized that I could not follow it. First, I'm sorry for my time. Secondly, I don’t know how to cook pike perch parfait (who would explain to me what it is?) And I won’t dance to the tune of a completely insolent Rudolf. In addition, the cat is monstrous in size, its stomach literally sweeps the floor, and its tail cannot be clasped even with two palms. Of course, a fat purr looks cute and seems utterly good-natured. But the latter, as a rule, is erroneous, any feline has claws that are sharp, like well-sharpened blades. And as for fullness, I can say: obesity is a direct path to an early death.

I stroked Maya's pet on the back.

- Eat what you got. Our task is to slightly reduce weight.

Rudolf Ivanovich wriggled out from under my arm and burst into a series of short sounds, which should have been deciphered as follows:

“Daria, you wouldn’t go with your diet where a well-bred person would not even send a yard dog.”

I got angry.

- Rudolph, remember! People on Earth do not exist to serve insolent animals. Cats, on the other hand, were created by nature to catch mice and rats, that is, to help people. And not at all vice versa.

“He doesn’t like a pink bowl,” a pleasant tenor suddenly said from behind me. - And Rudolf Ivanovich is very offended if they turn to him without a patronymic.

I screamed out of surprise. She turned and brushed her elbow against what looked like an antique china cup. It landed on the tiled floor and broke into several pieces.

Chinese fan fingers Darya Dontsova

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Title: Chinese fan fingers

About the book "Fingers with a Chinese fan" Daria Dontsova

As you know, the initiative is punishable! But how could Dasha Vasilyeva pass by a mysterious story? And it all started quite innocently: she was asked to live in the house of Maya Mikhailovna, the ill mother of a friend, to take care of the hostess' favorite - a luxurious cat named Rudolf Ivanovich. It turned out that Maya Mikhailovna, who lived not far from the neurosis clinic, was a homegrown psychotherapist. And in her absence, Dasha had to play this difficult role! One of the patients, a teenager Ivan, told a chilling story - his stepfather killed his sister, then his mother, and now he is encroaching on the life of Vanechka himself! Of course, the lover of private investigation rushed to the rescue, but she had to be distracted by another "client" - the sweet girl Elechka dreamed of getting married, but all the suitors ran away from her on the second date. And how can Dasha find out what is the reason? Only ... hiding in the closet of the unlucky bride!

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Quotes from the book by Daria Dontsova "Fingers with a Chinese fan"

Never need to complicate things. The most mysterious events tend to have a simple explanation.

Men are divided into two types: those who helpfully take their wife's old fur coat to the dry cleaners, and those who buy their wife a new coat.

“Never heard of it, have you?” When a person is born, God gives his guardian angel two glass jars.

No wonder doctors joke that all diseases are from nerves and only one from pleasure.

And everyone knows that after eighteen hours a decent man will not allow himself to wear anything with a chocolate tint.

I am very sorry for today's teenagers, they are under heavy pressure from both teachers and parents. Many are terribly afraid of the exam, but try to hide their fear. Add here personal troubles, worries about appearance, fullness, thinness or clumsiness, unfashionable clothes, lack of any gadgets, and it becomes clear why teenagers have nervous breakdowns. Most parents are concerned only with the marks of their child, they don’t think about the demons that tear apart his soul. Few people care what their children think about life and death, what they are afraid of, what they rejoice in, what can make them cry. In principle, it is easy to understand a teenager, you just need to remember how you yourself were at his age, to restore in your memory your own stupidities, resentments, claims to dad-mother, comrades and teachers. Just be honest! Everything repeats, your child has about the same problems. But it is more difficult for him than for you, because the flow of information that today's schoolchild learns is much greater, and there is too much anger, aggression, and envy in society.

Darya Dontsova

Chinese fan fingers

Men are divided into two types: those who helpfully take their wife's old fur coat to the dry cleaners, and those who buy their wife a new coat.

“Dashenka, what do you think,” the uninvited guest continued in the meantime, “what is the main thing in the future wife? Ability to earn or non-conflict character?

I silently reached for the jar that holds the grains.

- If you do not help, my happiness will collapse, and I will die under its rubble!

“I beg you, take us in for a day.” We stand on the street with small children and two old men.

“My happiness depends on you!”

I hope you, knowing how the family of her Ural relatives stayed in my house, do not judge me for what I immediately said to Grebneva:

– Ritulya, I’m sorry, I can’t discuss your problems right now, I need to urgently pack my bags.

- You are leaving? she gasped. - In Paris?

The decision came in a second. I lowered my eyes and began to lie with an inspiration that Baron Munchausen could envy:

What Paris? I started renovating the cottage. Here comes the construction team. Can you imagine horror? I can't receive guests, I have nowhere to go myself.

- You have nowhere to live for a couple of months? she clarified.

- Yes Yes! I confirmed. - I'm not planning anything radical, just a cosmetic update, I think ... er ... finish by the beginning of autumn.

- And the animals? Rita did not calm down. “Where are you going to put Athena and Hector?

Having spoken out, I thought that I had saved myself from another visit from Zinaida with the camp, and tried my best to keep a dejected expression on my face.

Chapter 1

Men are divided into two types: those who helpfully take their wife's old fur coat to the dry cleaners, and those who buy their wife a new coat.

“Dashenka, what do you think,” the uninvited guest continued in the meantime, “what is the main thing in the future wife? Ability to earn or non-conflict character?

I silently reached for the jar that holds the grains.

- If you do not help, my happiness will collapse, and I will die under its rubble!

“I beg you, take us in for a day.” We stand on the street with small children and two old men.

“My happiness depends on you!”

I hope you, knowing how the family of her Ural relatives stayed in my house, do not judge me for what I immediately said to Grebneva:

– Ritulya, I’m sorry, I can’t discuss your problems right now, I need to urgently pack my bags.

- You are leaving? she gasped. - In Paris?

The decision came in a second. I lowered my eyes and began to lie with an inspiration that Baron Munchausen could envy:

What Paris? I started renovating the cottage. Here comes the construction team. Can you imagine horror? I can't receive guests, I have nowhere to go myself.

- You have nowhere to live for a couple of months? she clarified.

- Yes Yes! I confirmed. - I'm not planning anything radical, just a cosmetic update, I think ... er ... finish by the beginning of autumn.

- And the animals? Rita did not calm down. “Where are you going to put Athena and Hector?

Having spoken out, I thought that I had saved myself from another visit from Zinaida with the camp, and tried my best to keep a dejected expression on my face.

- You are no longer a child, and I have no right to scold an adult man, live with whoever you want, just don’t bring a slut to your mother’s house.

- Rudy! Come here!

At best, he will ignore you, at worst, he will write in slippers to the one who dared to address his highness so familiarly. The cat should be called respectfully:

- Rudolf Ivanovich, if you please, go and have tea with buns.

Rita is allergic to cats, but after swallowing antihistamine pills, she pets the cat. And that one is amazing! - very nice to her.

Maya Mikhailovna said to Rita:

The doctors present at the conversation almost died when they heard about the dish that is fed to the cat, but firmly stated:

“It’s better for Mrs. Nikolaeva to stay with us, at that age a fracture is a dangerous thing.

Ritochka jumped for joy and repeated:

I could only blink silently, watching Rita's glee. There was no way out, I had painted myself into a corner.

Men are divided into two types: those who helpfully take their wife's old fur coat to the dry cleaners, and those who buy their wife a new coat.

“Dashenka, what do you think,” the uninvited guest continued in the meantime, “what is the main thing in the future wife? Ability to earn or non-conflict character?

I silently reached for the jar that holds the grains.

- If you do not help, my happiness will collapse, and I will die under its rubble!

“I beg you, take us in for a day.” We stand on the street with small children and two old men.

“My happiness depends on you!”

I hope you, knowing how the family of her Ural relatives stayed in my house, do not judge me for what I immediately said to Grebneva:

– Ritulya, I’m sorry, I can’t discuss your problems right now, I need to urgently pack my bags.

- You are leaving? she gasped. - In Paris?

The decision came in a second. I lowered my eyes and began to lie with an inspiration that Baron Munchausen could envy:

What Paris? I started renovating the cottage. Here comes the construction team. Can you imagine horror? I can't receive guests, I have nowhere to go myself.

- You have nowhere to live for a couple of months? she clarified.

- Yes Yes! I confirmed. - I'm not planning anything radical, just a cosmetic update, I think ... er ... finish by the beginning of autumn.

- And the animals? Rita did not calm down. “Where are you going to put Athena and Hector?