Shyness in girls. How to date a shy girl

- Shy women are not able to change. This is their nature: loyalty, reliability, domesticity. Such girls will not disappear at night in clubs, for them the perfect evening is at home, with a delicious dinner, TV and a loved one on the couch. Such a prospect of men calms and inspires: “You can safely leave on a business trip, she will be at home.”

- Shy girls are hard to get. They are a little strange, don't you agree? What do men love? Achieve, unravel... Her strangeness becomes more attractive than a frank proposal to a passionate colleague from the technical department.

- Shy girls can keep secrets. Which, in general, is not characteristic of women. And these do not like to chat, gossip and discuss - men appreciate such qualities in women.

- Shy girls are defenseless. And men love to show their strength. Self-confident women can fight back even the most courageous man, and modest women will thank even the most insignificant “gentlemanly” act.

- Shy girls are more caring and loving. Such girls are used to expressing their feelings not with words, but with actions. So, a shy girl might cook her boyfriend's favorite dish to show how much she loves him. Shy somehow surprisingly knows how to inspire his beloved that he is the king of the world.

- Men love prudes for their “inexperience”. This is where a man begins to show all his skills: he teaches, shows, dominates. Everything, of course, depends on the preferences of a man, but with a shy girl, sex is somehow special.

- Shy women are incredibly feminine. Their tenderness, delicacy, softness drives men crazy. A shy smile, facial expression, body language - such a girl is incredibly feminine. You look into her eyes, she looks down. You tell her something and she plays with her hair... these "gestures" are very attractive.

- Men like to lead prudes. Almost everyone likes to show their “dominance” in a relationship, and with modest girls, male dominance is a priority. Men love women who do not try to manage relationships, but are used to agreeing and obeying.

- Slowly but surely. It's about relationships with shy girls. Slow and steady relationships excite men. Shy girls need time to open up. Such a secret keeps men in suspense and insane expectation - what is she, this sweet shy girl?

Instruction

To begin with, learn for yourself a simple truth: - these are not creatures from another planet, but people just like you. They are also embarrassed by you, they also do not always understand the logic of people's actions. But you will definitely learn to understand them if you take control of your shyness.

Believe that you have many good qualities. Try to write down your positive traits and remind yourself from time to time that you are great. If you doubt that you are attractive enough on the outside, try to identify what exactly you do not like about yourself and change it. Underdeveloped muscles? Go in for sports. Untidy appearance - take care of yourself. Wear only clean and ironed clothes, exceptionally clean and unworn shoes. Don't forget to cut your hair on time. Be careful always, not only when you are going to see. Over time, this will give you confidence in your own attractiveness and become a habit.

Learn to be a good conversationalist. In communication, try to be as relaxed as when communicating with friends. Remember that all people (especially girls!) love to talk about themselves. Therefore, in a conversation, ask questions about her, at first some trifling ones, over time in the stories you can find new topics for conversation. Show genuine interest. If you see that a girl is enthusiastically talking about something, then this topic is interesting to her, and you should take advantage of this.

Remember that you can't learn anything if you don't try. So it is with communication. Most likely, your first attempts to talk to a girl will not be very successful, but over time it will get better and better. And without practice, there will be no progress. In this regard, by the way, it is wise to train communication skills not with those to which you are pronounced, but with those to whom you are more indifferent. Firstly, with them it will be easier for you to control your emotions, and secondly, in case of failure, you do not lose anything. In addition, it is much more useful in terms of development to communicate with those with whom you do not have many common interests. Having learned to communicate with such girls, you can communicate with any and stop them.

Sources:

how to stop wanting a girl
How to stop being shy about the guy you like?

Our life is very complicated. And therefore, you need to be able to discover it for yourself, otherwise you will simply disappear. But how can a shy person open it? He is shy of everything, he is always afraid, embarrassed. As practice shows, such people do not add up.

Of course, it would be much worse if people were not shy at all. But everything should be in moderation. It is believed that this trait is laid in childhood. But what is laid down at an early age does not necessarily remain forever. Under the influence of the environment, various circumstances, the child may not.

But how to stop being shy as an adult?

To answer this question, you need to find the reason. Why are adults shy? And the best way to explain this to us is the shy ones themselves.

They most often say: “I won’t succeed,” “I won’t be able to,” “I can’t handle it,” “I don’t know,” “I don’t know how.” Shy people are not self-confident, they are seized by fears, they pre-program themselves for failure. For some reason, they consider themselves worse than those around them and therefore are afraid of someone else.

But, if you look, the abilities of the shy are much higher than those of their environment. It turns out interestingly, some have very weak abilities, but they achieve great success, while others are very capable, but they have not achieved anything.

So what's the secret?

Never lose your enthusiasm and presence of mind. If in infancy, after the first fall, we stopped trying to walk on our own, began to think how ridiculous we looked at that moment when we fell, we would not have learned to walk.

In order to stop being shy, don't be afraid to make mistakes! Not after the first defeat, do not think about what others will say about you, take criticism calmly.

Analyze your failure and move on towards your goal. A lot of famous and successful people were shy, but they managed from this quality. Thank God that getting rid of shyness does not require surgical intervention.

There are many ways to get rid of shyness.

First: you need to think less that you will definitely get into some stupid position.

Secondly: you need to try everything to be in public, not to withdraw into yourself, to communicate more with strangers.

Thirdly: always remember: everything that happens to you is your own business, and the opinion of others is only their opinion, and it has nothing to do with you, it does not affect your personal in any way.

And most importantly, ask yourself: what could you achieve in yours if you were not shy? Try all these rules. After all, you are not a shy person at all, are you?!

root of evil

Shyness is just a habit or fear that has become part of your lifestyle. To overcome it, you first need to determine how shy you are. Analyze whether shyness haunts you from birth, or have you begun to notice something similar in yourself relatively recently? What situations make you feel shy? Still, shyness does not arise from scratch, and being shy always and everywhere is simply impossible.

According to psychologists, shyness is not a cause, but a consequence of deeper fears. For example, approaching a girl for fear of being rejected. Or a person is afraid to speak in public for fear of being laughed at. In other words, when you work through these fears, timidity will disappear by itself.

Ways to get rid of shyness

There are several methods to help get rid of shyness:

Get bolder. Of course, for some, becoming more decisive is also a huge problem, and the only way to overcome it is to immediately take action. Make a list of your fears and try to face them day after day, within reason, of course, so as not to harm your health.

The power of self-indulgence. If you have very strong unresolved fears that you can’t cope with, self-hypnosis will come to the rescue. Just repeat many times a day a phrase like: “Every day I get bolder, every hour I get bolder.” At first it will look strange, but after a couple of weeks you will feel the first results. It is important to believe in the meaning of the spoken phrases. In addition, you should not give up this practice at the beginning of the journey, because it will not take you much time and effort.

Focus on the goal. Sometimes before an important conversation or meeting, you fall into a real panic. If you feel timid, then try to concentrate on the goal. Throw everything out of your head and tune in exclusively to the result.

Work. Try not to overload your speech with unnecessary turns and phrases. Learn to speak clearly and confidently. If you say something like “sorry, if, of course, it doesn’t make it difficult for you, would you be so kind as to answer me ...”, this will most likely cause bewilderment of the interlocutor, and you will be exposed as a very shy person. It’s as if you yourself are declaring: “I am worthless, not worthy of your attention and not deserving of anything in this life.”

Visit to a psychologist. If you feel that you are unable to control the situation yourself, seek help from a specialist.

Modest: appearance, habits, consequences

The modest-quiet woman is distinguished by laconicism, restraint, and vulnerability. Plus timidity and mystery. What is bad in this bundle of characteristics? A true man should be flattered by the weakness and vulnerability of his potential half - a knight wants to warm, caress, protect such a woman. She is perfect for the role of a caring wife and ideal mother. But no - not everything, it turns out, is simple.

Modest ones are sounding the alarm: they don’t want their “positive bouquet” - and that’s it. Question-statement “Do guys like modest girls in our liberated time?” on sites-blogs-forums it sounds more insistent and more desperate. Frankly, not without reason. Because the lack of courage often results in complete lack of initiative, and behind the silently mysterious appearance, nothing else can be found.

It is pointless to give a list of the hidden qualities of “silent quiet” that are repulsive to young men (and this is an unwillingness to develop, communication problems, pedantry, and half a dozen other “minus factors”). He is known - although not to all "good fellows" and not at any age. Yes, modest and shy girls are not interesting to teenage guys fixated on the “packaging” side of the girl’s face. True, later these "boyfriends" reconsider their evaluation vector.

For boyfriends at the “hormonal-explosive” stage, the brightness, looseness, accessibility of a girl is more important than her intellectual baggage and human dignity. Moreover, inconspicuous “gray” mice, unlike their brave peers, do not express their sympathies, assessments, desires. The youngsters are not up to solving mysteries - such a girlfriend next to them embarrasses them, preventing them from asserting themselves among friends. It’s too early to think about the family, the victory “here and now” is his main goal.

Clever, but low-key shy girls in the period of growing up are self-confident, uncomplexed "stars of the company" - especially if they are supported by influential and non-poor parents. - not the most successful union for a young (and not so) lady. But sociability and the ability to stand up for oneself with impudence are in no way connected. Everyone needs them - modest mice too.

I like modest girls - the point of view of men

“Men run after the shameless and arrogant, but modest decent women are not particularly favored” - an erroneous opinion, but you cannot refuse him a “share of truth”. A male hunter (and such is his genetic role) in order to catch “game” must first notice it. Sassy ladies are visible from a distance - not to mention that you can't ignore them up close. For a real hunter without an inferiority complex, the thought of acquiring a daring trophy seems flattering.

Here is the chain that leads the hunter-fighters to the eclipsing "mice" girls "with the initiative." There are cases when the trapper himself becomes a victim. But such episodes "do not pull" on the regularity. Socially mature and dreaming of true love and a cozy family nest without “pitfalls”, a man will eventually “behold” the very clever, shy girl who will give him this happiness. Her task is to push him to the right choice.

Do not be born beautiful - "turn on" Pushkareva

From how a modest girl will “give” and behave in a situation where she has decided on the object of love, her fate depends. That the courageous half of humanity prefers to marry persons of the "Katepushkarev" type is not an invention. However, to be shy and shy to the point of being ridiculous, losing the power of speech in the presence of a man is overkill, behavioral excess. Everything else will come in handy. The main thing is to be yourself.

The phenomena of the silent-shy woman, “turning on” the real conqueror, include her inherent fear with a word or phrase to betray her interest in the rapprochement of the first. This factor also inspires the modest guys: although they will not be repelled here, it will be easy to find a common language. And that the potential of the by no means weak "forget-me-nots" is huge, there is no need to prove: "in a still pool" such wealth is laid ...

It turns out that the advantages of domestic modest-touchy are the sea. They are feminine, soft, delicate. They avoid gossip and showdowns with scandals, they know how to keep secrets. Yes, they are inexperienced, constrained, wild, they do not immediately make contact, but how pleasant it is to achieve their favor! Experienced "wise men" are not to be surprised by the described prospects - it remains to arm the tactically girlish-female contingent.

How to get rid of shyness and turn from a moth into a butterfly

There is no need to radically rebuild, forcing yourself and becoming like obsessive vulgar rivals with bitchy manners. But you will have to comprehend the basics of a competent “presentation” of yourself - in order to prevent the guys from shying away, frightened by a strange neighborhood.

. Neat nails, clean hair, a hairstyle to your face, an outfit according to the situation, smooth legs - your “successful” set and the ability not to get lost in the crowd.
Use cosmetics in moderation. Shading dignity, hiding flaws - this is the purpose of makeup. Turning into the war paint of an Indian, he will cause rejection.
Do not overdo it with the skills "keep your head down" and "". You can say little, but to the point, laugh rarely, but on time. Openness is better than closedness.
Do not exaggerate the importance of external data. Focus on the inside. They love not for unearthly beauty, but for kindness, sincerity, sensitivity. Cultivate them within yourself.
Believe in your attraction. A person is valued by being different from others. You are skinny or “chubby”, your nose is turned up or stretched out - carry yourself proudly.
. Excessive correctness, humility and patience can annoy and provoke boorish antics. Don't bring it up.
Don't act alone. Show wisdom by connecting useful friends and your talents in crucial moments. An integrated approach will shorten the path to a dream.

Accelerate and take off. You will win.

How often can you meet a decent guy who is so shy that he can't even approach a girl he doesn't know. And he seems smart, well-read, handsome, athletic and decent, but he is shy to meet a girl. Of course, in the distant future, he will certainly become a respectable husband and a wonderful father. But before that, you need to overcome your shyness and learn how to approach girls. To begin with, let's look into the psychology of shyness and try to understand why this shyness appears?

Why are guys shy about girls?

Often the causes of embarrassment sit deep within the psychological personality of a person. What influences a young and attractive guy so much that prevents him from meeting a girl?

Many psychological problems come from childhood. If a boy was often scolded at an early age, he begins to subconsciously fear any failure, suggests what will happen to him if the girl refuses. He perceives any refusal or disinterest as a personal defeat.
No matter how strange it may sound, but society is imprisoned for women to be honored and respected. And the man can do it, he's strong. From an early age, we are told that girls should not be offended, that they need to give in, they need to be idolized. Against this background, most men feel like a meaningless person, a nonentity.
Emotionally, a man is indeed more vulnerable than a woman. Hurt or ruin a man's self-esteem as easy as shelling pears. One awkward phrase when meeting or during a conversation can give rise to a serious complex in a man’s head.
One of the most common causes of a guy's shyness is his lack of self-confidence. Perhaps he notices that young people with a pumped-up torso are more successful among the opposite sex, so he believes that girls are unlikely to like his figure. In fact, the problem is only in the head. Only self-confidence and charisma affect the ability to please a particular girl.

But sometimes shyness can be in a person just like that, for no reason. It's just that a person has such a character, not everyone can be seductive macho? To overcome shyness, you need to work with your complexes.

How to gain self-confidence

How often can you meet a nondescript gray guy who completely transforms as soon as he starts talking. Self-confidence is 70% of success. Girls pay attention to how a person holds himself, what he talks about and how he presents himself. And only then do they notice what he is wearing and what his figure looks like. Many girls admit that after a conversation they completely change their mind about a person. A thin squishy man may seem like an interesting conversationalist, and a beefy athlete is a complete fool.

To gain self-confidence, you need to raise self-esteem in your own eyes. To feel better, you need to really become better. If you think that girls pay attention to smart guys, you need to achieve something in this area. Win some intellectual competition, win the Olympiad, show your knowledge in an educational game. You can show off your mind even in a simple company, the main thing is that it is appropriate and not funny. If girls, in your opinion, pay attention to the athletic physique of guys, start exercising. A healthy lifestyle has never hurt anyone! Take up some kind of sport, start going to the gym, run in the morning. Along with the formation of your figure, self-confidence will also begin to grow.

In addition, you must always be neat and clean. Wear fresh clothes, cut your hair on time, watch your hygiene to avoid embarrassing situations.

There are many techniques that will help you gradually get rid of shyness and shyness.

Start talking to the service girls. For example, talk to the waitress. And not just about the order, but about something abstract. For example, when she asks about what you will order, ask what she would eat, what she likes. By profession, service people are forced to be kind and tactful in any situation, so this will give you a little self-confidence.
To stop being shy, you need to learn how to compliment strangers. It can be an old friend, a neighbor on the porch, a classmate and even a mother. The whole point is to learn to fleetingly emphasize the beauty of the fair sex.
Change of image will help to gain self-confidence. Change your hairstyle, buy fashionable things, add bright accessories. This will not only help change the look, but also give you a special sense of significance and style.
Don't be afraid girls! They are people just like you, your friend and brother. Yes, they have their own opinions about some things, but in many ways, girls are no different from guys. They also want to have fun, laugh and fool around.
If you want to get to know a girl, you have to get her attention. To do this, give her a couple of compliments, ask what she is doing here and why she is sitting alone (or with a friend). The main thing is to talk more and not bury yourself in yourself. Girls love to talk and they need to be listened to, that's for sure. But only later, when you get to know each other quite closely. In the meantime, the guy will have to work with his head and tongue.
No need to play macho - smart girls will not appreciate this. Just imagine yourself the way you are. No need to dress up and say that you passed by while walking to the gym for another strength workout. Tell it like it is, that you liked the girl, and you wanted to get to know her. Keep it simple - it is valued above all else.
Talk more with strangers - in transport, on the street, in cafes. It can be not only young girls, but also women, and even men. Simply overcoming the barrier will help you get to know each other faster and easier in the future.
Achieve goals, achieve something in life. Score the most goals in a basketball game, win over the school audience with a public performance, win a medal in some competition. Sometimes this becomes a powerful impetus for girls to finally pay attention to you.
You can conduct such an experiment. Take a big notebook and a pen and go outside. You need to force yourself to approach unfamiliar girls under the pretext of a sociological survey. This will help you overcome insecurities, you will be able to communicate with strangers, and, finally, you will learn how to flirt.

Don't worry, with age, the shyness will disappear and it will be much easier to meet girls.
Shyness is not the worst trait of a person. A shy guy is often clean and timid. He does not know how to communicate with girls, but he does not have a rich track record. Such guys, on the contrary, remain faithful and appreciate girls. Many ladies understand this and have not run after self-confident machos for a long time. Be yourself and there will definitely be someone who will appreciate it!

Video: how to stop being shy of girls

Shyness in girls appears under the influence of any everyday circumstances. Often shyness is laid down by despotic parents in childhood. And when a woman meets a man, it becomes difficult for her to establish contact with him, in particular to get to know him. If she meets a strong personality, she automatically falls under his influence. Then, it can be very difficult to get rid of obsessive guardianship and constant pressure from a man.

Shyness in girls is most pronounced in adolescence, when a girl depends on other people's assessments of her actions and behavior, as well as on the accepted public opinion. However, you can't please everyone. But teenagers have a certain maximalism in their judgments. For example, this is black and this is white, this is good and this is bad.

Only with experience does a woman understand the ambiguity of life situations, what is good for one may be bad for another.Shyness in girls does not give them the opportunity to become independent and independent.Therefore, many of the fair sex remain infantile in their souls for a long time, unable to take decisive action and suffer from misunderstanding and loneliness, or are forced to completely obey men, afraid to express their opinion or do something without the knowledge of their partner.

If shyness interferes with communication, then first you need to learn not to get into uncomfortable positions.It is advisable to have your own line of behavior, which takes into account pre-prepared communication options, including the manner of movements, specific words, phrases and sentences. The situation of the first acquaintance can beplay at home in front of a mirror, and sketch out an approximate telephone conversation on a piece of paper.

The conversation will go better if it is carefully prepared. By the way, a well-thought-out dialogue will help control other people's thoughts and actions. An ordinary mirror, voice recorder or video camera is suitable for rehearsal.Sometimes a training conversation with strangers will help relieve the shyness of girls. To do this, you can start a conversation on the subway, in line at the checkout in a supermarket or at a bus stop.

Unexpected communication will give self-confidence and teach you how to communicate without preparation. And in getting rid of shyness in girls, the first successes are also very important, but you also need to have the right to make a mistake, since the first time may not turn out as planned. The stock of impromptu should be small, but for all occasions.

You can ask a friend or girlfriend for help. In the process of overcoming shyness, girls may encounter incidents that cause ridicule from others. You should not pay attention to this and behave as if nothing had happened. The worst way is to choose an interlocutor who is even more notorious and shy. Therefore, you need to communicate with a worthy opponent, but without attacks and excessive artificial aggression.