Where to find friends as an adult. Tips to help you easily make new acquaintances. Showcase your passions

Most of us manage to communicate only with family and colleagues, and even then under constant time pressure. Social networks somehow save us, but communication replaces it just like sweet candy replaces a full meal. The pleasant taste and feeling of hunger go away, but the body does not receive anything useful.

There are many factors that influence adult communication, including purely age factors - after 30, professional success and our own family are really important to us. In this bustle, we may simply lose sight of the fact that the support and trust of like-minded people is sorely lacking. What to do with friendship after 30 and where to look for people like you? We analyzed 10 common problems in adult friendships.

1. Tell me who is your friend?

In childhood, for a joint sandbox, it was enough that there was a peer in the yard. Now we look at what kind of person he is, how he behaves, what his interests are.

How to make friends? Choose people with a similar lifestyle. Life changes, and you have to accept it. Girls exchange addresses of sales, and mothers communicate on playgrounds.

2. Mistrust

As long as we were not betrayed, left alone, offended or accused, we could open up to everyone. Now we don’t want to get burned so easily.

How to make friends? Caution does not interfere with understanding that people can be different. After all, childhood naivety did not insure us against failures; such insurance does not exist at any age.

3. No time

We didn't have children, husbands, or elderly relatives, and school didn't seem as stressful as work life.

How to make friends? Family and work are also not always easy for us, but we still pay attention to it. Friendship requires the same. Consciously set aside at least an hour a week for meetings, calls and mutual exchanges, and you will see how quickly your friends will become closer to you.

4. Fear of taking the first step

The girl with the bows was approached by her mother by the hand, and although embarrassment got in the way, contact was still made. If you are a businessman in a formal suit, it is not so easy for you to show that you are not averse to chatting with your neighbor in the stairwell.

How to make friends? In the modern world there are many ways to change your image - go on vacation, sign up for language courses - get out of your boundaries, relax and be a sociable person.

5. Obsession with problems

All adult responsibilities have now become ours, and our heads are only occupied with paying bills, taking the car for inspection, and buying groceries for the family.

How to make friends? Friendship presupposes mutual interest; a tense person does not arouse the desire to communicate with him. Even a banal conversation about the weather or a compliment to a colleague can be the start of good affection.

6. Nothing to talk about

Everyone now has their own life, their own problems and experiences. Sometimes, when we find ourselves together in an elevator or at a table during lunch at work, we feel awkward, even if we have the time and opportunity to communicate.

How to make friends? The problem is our expectations. In our youth, we looked for joy in friendship, but now we try to maintain etiquette. It is important to relax and the theme will come from the environment.

7. I don’t want to adapt

Now we are adults, important and... No more concessions and zero tolerance. Instead of a cheerful company, we end up with proud loneliness. After all, no one wants to adapt to us.

How to make friends? Without forgiveness there is no intimacy. Don’t worry, everyone is just as important as you and everyone will benefit from the fact that you understand this first. A lack of communication is worth paying for in minor difficulties.

8. Neglect of small contacts

Who knows where we will meet someone who will understand us better than anyone. Maybe it's a woman at the market that you refused to give advice to, or a colleague of your husband's that you're just jealous of.

How to make friends? The degree of hostility towards others also interferes with communication. It seems that all these connections are unimportant, but nevertheless, these are also people who have nothing bad to do with you.

9. Self-worth

How many of us thought about ourselves when we were small and young? Now your own individuality becomes the center of everything and first you want to promote your interests and get what is important to you.

How to make friends? The essence of friendship is interest in others. Do you really want to communicate with this or that person? Do you know what he likes to eat, where he goes on vacation and where he studied? Try asking and observe how you feel.

10. Finding a match

While we are young, and in adulthood, we mistakenly think that friends will replace such connections for us. But even though a friend is close in many ways, he cannot love you for who you are completely and unconditionally.

How to make friends? Can you say that you have something to interest people? Are you interested in yourself, do you care about development, do you learn new things? People are drawn to those who are passionate about something and get results. First of all, this, and only then problems and expectations of support from friends.

Friends are real wealth, and for many modern people even an unaffordable luxury. Having a loved one and a kindred spirit is great, but if you still don’t have a friend, then you can try to find one even in adulthood.

Is it worth looking for a friend?

Some people believe that they make friends in childhood, at school, or, as a last resort, during their student years. And in fact, friendship often begins precisely at these stages, but not everyone manages to maintain it. If you either lost old friends due to moving or other circumstances, or were unable to find them (due to excessive shyness or other behavioral and character traits), then you should start searching in adulthood.

Having a friend is important and useful. Yes, you probably have family and relatives who are ready to support you in difficult times. But, firstly, as they say, you don’t choose your relatives: probably in the family circle there are simply no people close to you in spirit or with similar interests and views. Secondly, there are things that are inconvenient or undesirable to share with relatives. A true friend will always understand, support, brighten up your time and improve your mood.

Where and how to look for friends?

How can an adult find real friends? In general, friendship often begins spontaneously and accidentally in the process of a person’s interaction with society: at work, in public places, at school, and so on. But not always even pleasant and interesting communication turns into closer friendly relationships. And if you still haven’t managed to find friends, then you can search for them in different ways, discussed in detail below.

At work

Almost everyone works and spends most of their life at work - eight hours a day. And if you work in a team, and especially in a large company, you are probably constantly surrounded by colleagues. Among them you may find interesting and impressive people with whom you can make friends.

But how do you make friends at work? Use ideas:

• Attend all company events and interact with other employees.
• Ask your colleagues for help. If you don't understand something, don't hesitate to ask other employees questions. And be sure to thank them and offer help in return.
• Invite the person you like to have lunch or a walk together after work. You can also invite a colleague to a movie or cafe.
• Throw a party on your birthday or other date to get to know your colleagues better, get to know them better and, perhaps, find a soul mate.

On holiday

Vacationers are as relaxed and positive as possible, and also have a lot of free time. If you decide to go to the sea or travel, be more sociable and active. You can start a casual conversation about a vacation spot or the quality of service, or ask for help in finding a good cafe or other establishment.

Advice! If you are relaxing in a hotel or inn, then take a closer look at the other guests. Invite someone to have dinner or go to the beach together, and even families can meet and communicate.

In courses or hobby groups

If you have a hobby, or you want to develop and improve in any area, sign up for courses: knitting, advanced training, drawing, cutting and sewing, and so on. The big advantage is that people with similar interests and united by one goal gather in such places.

When attending courses, pay attention to other visitors, take a closer look at them. Of course, there are people who are withdrawn, closed and do not need to communicate, but there is always a chance to meet a sociable and pleasant person. If you find someone you like, try starting a conversation: ask for help, ask about something, offer something. For example, you can clarify the answer to a question of interest or ask for a summary. Further communication can develop and turn into friendship.

In social networks

In the modern life of many people, the Internet occupies an important place: most of us use it every day for various purposes (for work, for entertainment, while studying, when searching for information). If you are registered on social networks, then you can find friends with their help. For this:

1. Set a real photo as your avatar so that your interlocutors can have an idea about you.
2. Include as much personal information about yourself as possible, especially about your interests: hobbies, favorite artists, books and films, places you frequently visit.
3. Join interest groups and take part in discussions on issues that interest you. Perhaps someone will argue with you or, conversely, support you. You can find interesting people among commentators and community members: write to them and start virtual communication.

In charitable or volunteer organizations

Charity unites people and promotes their unity, because all volunteers pursue common, and noble, goals. Join an organization like this and actively offer your help. Participate in mass events, help other volunteers. Be an open, sincere and sociable person so that others will be drawn to you. As a result, you will be able to find new acquaintances and good friends.

From the old life

Perhaps you once communicated well with someone, but then for some reason the communication was interrupted or came to naught. If among your old acquaintances and friends there are people who still evoke pleasant memories, try to establish contact with them and reconnect.

If you have the person's number, call them. If contacts are lost, try to find a friend on social networks or through mutual friends. Remind yourself, ask about life, tell about yourself. If the interlocutor shows interest, offer to meet. Perhaps the meeting will develop into pleasant communication or friendship.

Among relatives

Yes, yes, a relative may well become your friend if he has similar interests and shows reverent feelings towards you. Moreover, you don’t need to get to know people from your family circle: contact with them is already maintained periodically. At one of the joint events or at a meeting of relatives, start close communication with the relative you are interested in. Sincerely ask him about life and the latest news, support the topic he started.

If communication starts and improves, you can offer to meet separately from the family, for example, in a cinema or cafe. Perhaps such gatherings will become a habit, bring you closer and make you not only relatives, but also good friends.

Finally, some tips that will help you find friends:

1. Be sincere, but don't become overly trusting. Openness is attractive and attractive, but you always need to be on your guard: unfortunately, there are bad people.
2. Develop communication skills, learn to be the first to start a conversation and maintain different topics. This advice will be useful to you if you find yourself in another city and have not yet had time to get comfortable here.
3. Don't push away people who are attracted to you. Perhaps your soul mate is among them. But if a person is extremely unpleasant, then do not give him false hopes.
4. Don't expect friendship right away. It takes time to form and strengthen, so be patient.
5. When trying to find a friend, do not flatter or fawn: insincerity immediately catches your eye and repels you.
6. Keep your distance, do not trust completely and do not let people you are not confident in get too close to you. You shouldn’t open up completely and let your friends into your life.
7. Try not to get hung up on one single person, even if he attracts you as a person. Communicate with different people and expand your social circle: this will increase your chances of successfully finding friends.

Successful searches and true friends to you!

This article will tell you where to find and how to make friends if you are already an adult. For young people, this question may seem stupid or illogical, but older people know that this is a real problem.

Looking at your childhood through rose-colored glasses, you might think that it's easy to make friends when you're a kid. Share some chocolate, some construction toys (and some microbes), and you'll have a friend for life. But even the playground is a cruel place. “You are no longer my friend!”, “I will not invite you to my birthday.” When children grow into teenagers, they start gossiping and bullying, which is not at all easy to deal with.

It is easy for young people to make friends at discos. But then people get married, have children, move and focus on their careers.

Researchers say the average person loses two friends when entering a romantic relationship. The same can be said about long-distance moves or promotions. People lose friends and live alone, afraid to make new ones - what if people refuse? Will they laugh? Or maybe this particular stranger is a maniac?

How to overcome this and make friends with new people if you are an adult?

New is well forgotten old

The first step in making new friends is... Take your time. Instead, try reconnecting with old connections.

It's not scary or difficult - you already know these people. Contact them through any social network and now you have more friends.

The process of making new friends is less about you and more about other people. Don't try to be interesting, but be interested yourself.

People like other people more when they listen and ask questions. And mountains of research prove that the most important factor is similarities. So, when your new friend says something you like, point it out.

Seize every opportunity

We miss the opportunity to make a new friend every day because we are too shy or lack confidence. Be brave and change it: start a conversation with your friendly colleague or neighbor, try to get to know them, invite them to a cafe. You will be surprised how many potential friends are already surrounding you.

Ask others to introduce you to someone

If you have recently moved and have no friends left, look for groups in your new city on social networks. There may be a discussion for dating there - leave your message there or write yourself. By contacting someone, you will not only have a new possible friend, but also several more if you ask your new acquaintance to introduce you to new people.

Become Vulnerable

We are too worried that an invitation to a cafe might be perceived as an invitation to a date; We are afraid that the person already has many friends or that he simply won’t like us. But if you want to make a new friend, you need to drown out these fears and allow yourself to become a little vulnerable in order to establish a new relationship. If you like a person and would like to meet him, ask him to be added on social networks and call him again.

Invite someone over for fun

For example, to a movie, a museum, or maybe a knitting course. Offer something that you yourself are passionate about.

Try something new

Group classes and clubs are a great place to make new friends and improve yourself. Swimming or yoga classes, English or Chinese courses, going to the gym - all these are excellent opportunities for forming new, wonderful friendships.

Make a connection

Loneliness consists of superficial relationships. Try to have a sincere conversation with a new acquaintance - tell something personal about yourself, find a common enemy and ask sincere questions.

Use technology

We live in a time of constant connection, use this to your advantage. Write to someone on VKontakte or Twitter. Join thematic groups that match your interests (so you will know for sure that you have something in common with these people). Be social on social media.

Lastly, stay positive because cheerful people attract others.

This article gives advice on where to find and how to make friends in the life of an adult. Of course, it is difficult to make friends if you are already an adult. It is difficult not because there are few people or they are all unfriendly; it's about people's shyness. Perhaps your new work colleague wants to become friends with you, but is also too shy?

Take the initiative. If it's time to find a true friend, you can't afford to be lazy. A true friend will not miraculously appear on your doorstep, so it requires a little effort on your part. Take your search for a true friend into your own hands and start communicating with people.

• Stop waiting for others to do all the work for you. Gather them and ask if you can go to the event with them, or organize it yourself.
• Don't be afraid to appear hopeless and needy. Focus on yourself and your goal. If in the end this method works, who will remember your problems?

Meet new people. You can't make friends by constantly sitting at home alone in the evenings. You need to constantly take action, so force yourself to get out and at home and meet as many people as possible. You will feel a little uncomfortable at first, but your efforts will not be in vain.

• One of the easiest ways is to find a new friend with the help of an existing one. Go to a party or social event. Let your friend give you advice.
• You can meet people based on your studies or interests. As a rule, friends have common interests, so those people you met at school or in a club are potential candidates for your friend's place.
• Meet people at work. Perhaps you have a work colleague with whom you are dating, but you have never had fun together. It's time to do it.
• Meet people online. There are some stigmas associated with online dating, but it is actually a great way to meet people. Blogs, social networks and forum comments are excellent methods of socialization.

In kindergarten, at school and at university, friends appear on their own. In 10–20 years you won’t even remember why you became friends. And this is not surprising: at 20 years old we spend 10 to 15 hours a week with friends Bureau of Labor Statistics, U.S. Department of Labor. Time spent in leisure activities in 2014, by gender, age, and educational attainment.. And then we plunge into work, start families... It’s difficult to find time even for morning exercises, let alone for constant meetings.

And it turns out that in the evenings there is no one to even chat with. Some of my friends moved to another city, others had divergent interests. Communication with colleagues and family is not enough.

A comparison of the severity of the experienced loneliness of 255 Canadian men and 431 women with the characteristics of their love-romantic, family, friendships and companionship relationships showed that the feeling of loneliness is most closely associated with a deficit of friendly relationships.

Igor Kon, “Friendship: an ethical and psychological essay”

So many people have to look for new friends. It's not easy because there is no time. Social networks, of course, help maintain acquaintances. But subscribing to someone's news does not mean becoming a friend. How to find loved ones on the Internet?

Find friends where they may be

The first tip for finding friends on the Internet is to choose services that will really help you find “your” person. You won't wait for a tram on the street without paved tracks or fish in a swimming pool. The same principle works on social networks.

Users of social networks have long known that each of them has its own rules of the game. Some networks focus on professional communication; in them you need to look for colleagues, performers and investors, not friends. Others help find people with whom contact has been lost. It's good to see how they're doing, but if you haven't talked to the person in years, it's not a good recommendation for friendship.

Finding new people with similar interests is the network's specialty. In it, people are found not by last name or by date of graduation, but by interests and geolocation.

Create a profile with your real name

When a person views your profile on a social network, they get to know you. And when meeting people, it is customary to introduce yourself by your real name. This is a requirement of etiquette and common courtesy, and a polite and respectful attitude towards another person is necessary for establishing friendly relations.

Remember how we met in childhood, when finding a friend was easy. No nicknames: our friends themselves gave them to us.

Remove the cat from your avatar

And remove the car too. And in general, everything that prevents you from looking at your face. You want to be friends with a real person, not a picture. The same applies to those who are going to communicate with you. And it’s strange to start a friendship while hiding behind a mask. Be more honest and people will be drawn to you.

In MyFriends, it’s not that it’s not customary to put low-quality avatars, it’s simply not allowed to be done. Therefore, you always see who you are going to talk to and meet.

And add cats to your feed, but only your own, and not other people’s photos from the Internet.

Publish more information about yourself

Remember that somewhere in MyFriends there is a person registered who is looking for a friend just like you. Help him discover you. Fill out your profile in as much detail as possible: the service was invented specifically for telling about yourself, and not for collecting likes and reposts.

In MyFriends, there are no reposts of hundreds of identical articles and jokes scattered across all public pages at once. - this is personal.

Showcase your passions

Whatever one may say, we receive most of the information through vision. MyFriends operates on the principle “We won’t tell, we’ll show.” Take pictures and add hashtags to them, which will be a means of searching for interests. The better and clearer each photo is described, the more likely it is that you will be seen by people with similar views.

Write first

Sometimes we get so hung up on old contacts that we can’t just write to a stranger. Especially if you need to come up with an introductory word: who are you, why are you writing. But another person may be tormented by the same doubts. Therefore, we need to take the initiative into our own hands and start somewhere. For example, just comment on a good photo.

By the way, when you leave a post on MyFriends, your intentions are already clear: you are looking for a friend, not gaining subscribers or promoting your page.

Look for friends nearby

Previously, friends were divided into several categories: friend, buddy, acquaintance. The concept of “Internet friend” appeared relatively recently. This seems like a friend, but not really.

What prevents virtual friends from becoming real ones? Distances and exclusively digital communication. Therefore, if you are not satisfied with this substitute for friendship, look for people living near you. The easiest way is by geolocation. You'll be surprised how many possible friends live on the same street as you.

This is not the only friend search filter. Choose for yourself who you think will keep you the best company.

Go to meetings

Remember how much time twenty-year-olds spend with friends? Yes, more than 10 hours a week. A bit much for those over thirty. Why do we meet less often? Yes, because it’s becoming more and more difficult to fit a joint trip to a cafe or a movie into your schedule. When one is busy, the other is free, and vice versa.

But without personal communication, friendship does not arise. You may not see your old comrades for years without changing your attitude towards the person. New ones will not become closer without conversation, common activity or relaxation.

Try meeting new people without changing your schedule. For example, you are going to a film premiere. Write on social networks about your desire, someone will join you - this is the reason for the meeting and the way to choose a place and time. There is a separate option, which is called “Desires”. Offer your suggestions for places to go and things to do, or see who is planning to spend some quality time in the near future. Join and be friends for good health.