The child does not want to study: why is he so lazy? Advice for parents: what to do if a child does not want to study, do homework, or read. Who is to blame and what to do if the child does not want to study

The term “school” is not new; it has its roots in ancient thinkers. The first ancient Greek schools were conversations in nature between scholars and youth. The classes did not have a strict schedule; they were held outdoors in the shade of trees, near temples. At such classes, the sages shared their discoveries and observations, and the young people asked questions that interested them. The symbiosis of wise scientists and youth bore fruit. After the meetings, scientists had new ideas for discoveries, and young people gained knowledge.

Reluctance to learn is due to many reasons

Modern school has become a heavy burden for children. Overwhelming tasks, tight time frames, strictness and humility. Not all freedom-loving natures can survive this. It is not always the case that incapable children do not want to study. But for the parents of any child who does not have a desire to acquire knowledge, many years turn into hard labor. With the question: “What to do if a child does not want to study?”, they turn to different specialists.

Main problems of school education

Lack of an individual approach to the student.
A huge amount of material, subjects, disciplines.
Developing a child’s sense of humility and resignation, educating ordinary people.
Acceptance of one “only correct” opinion, lack of time for reasoning and analysis.
Imposing labels and stereotypes.
A unified list of items and hours for them.
Teachers are the same people; if relations with them do not work out from the very beginning, then the child begins to hate the subject.

Refusal to learn may be accompanied by aggression

Each specific situation is individual; to consider the reasons, you need consultation with a specialist, a positive attitude of the child and parents. Unfortunately, overhauling the school system is beyond the power of one student, and obtaining a diploma is highly desirable. In the current circumstances, you need to try to adapt to the school rules and change what you can.

During a confidential conversation, try to find out what reasons are pushing your child away from attending classes, and whether there are really negative aspects of attending.

A confidential conversation will help identify the reasons

Among the most common reasons for reluctance to study:

Common sense and the positive experience of our immediate environment tell us that studying in a modern school is a feasible task. There are always funds to solve specific problems. It is important not to lose trust and maintain dialogue. The first steps should be aimed at solving specific problems, and then the effect will enhance positive motivation.

How to help a child? Confidential conversation

It is important to start a frank conversation with your child without offense or accusations, during which it is necessary to find out the main reasons for dislike of school. It is important to ask the child why the desire to learn disappeared or did not appear, what can be done to resolve the situation. You and the child should communicate as equals; such dialogues will help you get to know the child better.

Psychological pressure cannot correct the situation

It is necessary to explain that the current situation is solvable, and its solution will bring positive aspects to all parties.

What actions should be taken to determine the reasons for non-attendance:

Problems communicating with classmates. At school, the child not only undergoes training, but also communicates and makes friends with classmates. If he is deprived of this positive side of being in a children's group, difficulties begin. If a child is bullied, threatened, or extorted money, then an integrated approach is needed with the participation of the school administration, teachers, and parents of the instigators of the bullying.
Conflicts with peers lead to reluctance to go to school
If you let everything take its course, the child may develop an idea of general injustice and a feeling of impunity towards him. Remember how difficult it is to concentrate on work when personal problems interfere. You should not say that this is a trivial reason for not attending school, this will push your child away, and he will not tell you anything else. If the situation allows, try to give advice to your child on how to solve everything on his own. If successful, the child’s self-esteem will increase many times over. You will look like a hero in the eyes of a child.
After the situation is resolved, the child will feel more secure and confident; now he knows that his family will definitely support him.
Problems with a particular teacher. If there are difficulties with a particular subject, it may be the teacher. Many children project feelings that the teacher evokes onto a specific subject. In this case, the subconscious itself rejects the educational material. The child gets bad grades and then avoids classes altogether. Moreover, other subjects may be good for him.
It is rare for students to dislike subjects taught by friendly, positive teachers.
This problem is quite common. Teachers of the old school are very demanding and authoritarian; if a student is freedom-loving and openly expresses his feelings, then conflict cannot be avoided.
The child gets tired due to stress
Many teachers have “favorite students”; if the child is not one of them, hostility may arise. Remember and explain to your child that teachers are ordinary people with their own weaknesses. You should not support sharp criticism of the teacher and angry statements, by doing this you once again emphasize that it is fashionable to humiliate and insult people. The child must understand that he is above all this.
If a child complains about injustice, then try to help him with the subject. When the student’s knowledge leaves no doubt about the teacher’s bias, it is worth talking to the class teacher. If the situation has not changed, then you will have to defend your point of view to the teacher.
The child does not like the school's operating hours and its remote location. Most educational institutions work in the first shift, if this involves a lot of travel time, then the child gets up early every day. Perhaps your child’s biorhythm is a night owl, his peak activity occurs in the evening, and in the morning it is difficult to get something intelligible from him.
Try to explain to your child that most of his life he will have to get up early, in the future he will enter a higher educational institution and work. It is not always possible to take into account the peculiarities of biorhythms, but if you do not take into account social wishes, this will negatively affect your entire life.
Try to optimize your child's schedule. Perhaps he takes too long to do his homework, spends a lot of time at the computer, and is heavily loaded with clubs and sections.
Having a crush in high school also distracts you from studying
If there is a school nearby, then it is better to consider this option; perhaps it is not so prestigious, but your child will go there with pleasure, only because he will get an extra hour of sleep.
Try to bring the child into dialogue, invite the child to choose a way to solve the problem.
Poor health, health problems. Sometimes a child is unreasonably scolded for despondency, apathy, or laziness. All these conditions can be caused by overwork and illness. A child may get tired not only physically, but emotionally and mentally. Everything is very individual, some children attend several clubs and sections, while others study only the school curriculum with grief.
It is necessary to analyze the saturation of the child’s day and check his health status. A special feature of the school is long blocks of study, which are interrupted by short holidays. Only summer vacations are truly fulfilling. If you see a loss of strength by the end of the quarter, then it is necessary to optimize the child’s daily routine.
Mental fatigue is not always clearly noticeable; the child becomes distracted, inattentive, and irritable. Assess your child's condition daily. Increase your child's time in the fresh air, try to complete his homework, and devote the rest of the time to physical activity. It is worth sharply limiting the time spent on various gadgets; of course, it is impossible to completely eliminate it. The learning process requires interaction with technology. It is necessary to work very effectively on a computer; this will be very useful for a student at the institute and at work.
The child finds learning boring and uninteresting.
Often children are not interested in learning
Laziness and boredom are the body’s natural reaction to monotonous and exhausting activities and homework. A hopeless situation that does not leave the child the right to choose depresses interest. Even a working person can change jobs, unlike a child who will have to fight the system for 10 years. A long period of study and hopelessness take their toll.
There is no positive motivation and expediency of learning. Many modern first-graders lack the desire to learn from the first day. You cannot blame a child for this if he spent a whole year preparing for the first grade in courses, and was tired by the first of September. It is necessary to observe moderation even in preparation.
Most parents, based on the experience of previous generations, argue for negative motivation. This does not affect modern children, they know that their parents will soon leave and the restriction in goods can be survived with toys and delicious sweets.
Punishment won't help

Encourage any interest in subjects, praise for achievements. This is the most effective positive motivation. Praise will give strength to the child and increase self-esteem.

Similar materials

Psychology of relationships with children - a science for parents. Any parent would be happy if his child was an excellent student, went to school with joy and easily accepted the material offered. But often schoolchildren develop a reluctance to study, they skip school and receive unsatisfactory grades. This behavior is typical for schoolchildren of any age, and reluctance to learn can only intensify over time. So why doesn’t the child want to study and go to school?

1. The child is not mentally ready to go to school. That is why he is absent-minded and forgetful. A child may forget his textbook at home or forget to write down his homework. This often happens after the holidays; over time, the child gets involved in the work process.

2. The workload of this school is not suitable for your child, it is very heavy. You do homework with your child, but he still gets bad grades, which means you need to consider the option of hiring a professional tutor or transferring your child to another school.

The child has no one to imitate intellectually. If mom and dad don’t read and don’t develop intellectually, then the child begins to imitate his parents.
Unfavorable atmosphere in the family. Constant quarrels and conflicts in the family make the child withdrawn and nervous, and this leads to a decrease in motivation in learning and a slowdown in intellectual processes.
Bad Company. It is not for nothing that many parents are afraid that their son or daughter communicates with poor students or with peers who do not have the best behavior. Really bad company has a negative impact on a student's learning and behavior.
Didactogenic disorders. Such disorders manifest themselves in many schoolchildren and are expressed in severe anxiety, abdominal pain, headaches, as well as complete forgetting of educational material. Even if a child knows everything by heart at home, at school, being worried, he may forget all the material he has learned. Such nervous disorders occur due to incorrect behavior of both parents and teachers. For example, a teacher might make fun of a student in front of the whole class. Peers and the teacher himself will forget this over time, and the ridiculed student will immediately develop a reluctance to learn and a sea of complexes.
Poor memory or undeveloped thinking. The child does not learn the material well, constantly forgets everything, and cannot correctly express his thoughts. Here parents need to work thoroughly with the child, helping him improve his memory. You can learn poetry together and retell stories, fairy tales, stories.
Lack of ability in a certain subject. In this case, only additional classes with the child will help. If parents themselves are unable to understand a particular subject, it is better to hire a tutor who will work with the child individually, explaining all incomprehensible points.
Hyperactivity. The child is very active and does not want to sit still for a minute, hence the restlessness. Send your child to a sports section where he can splash out excess energy.
The child is uncontrollable, rude to teachers and parents. Perhaps the child has personal problems. Parents need to observe the child to find out the reason, and then have a heart-to-heart talk.
Mental retardation. Perhaps your child is sick, which is why he is underperforming. In any case, only a psychiatrist can make such diagnoses.
The lessons were no longer interesting to the child, which is why he was tired of going to school. Your child is probably ahead of his peers in development, reads a lot, has sufficient knowledge, and is simply not interested in the lessons, since he has already studied all this material on his own. Talk to the teachers, let them involve your child in teaching lessons, assign him to prepare reports, conduct seminars.
Poor relationships with classmates or teachers. Take a close look at your child: does he have friends, as the teacher says about him at parent-teacher meetings. Don't miss the main signal in your child's behavior. After all, sometimes a bad psychological atmosphere at school leads to a child’s nervous breakdowns, and in the most extreme cases, to suicide.
Poor performance throughout the class. The child does not want to stand out from the crowd and be a “black sheep.” The solution is to transfer the child to another class.
The child does not study well on purpose to spite his parents. If parents often compare their child with some boy or girl who does better in school than him, the child will develop complexes. And he begins to show character. It is necessary to support the child in all his successes, even small ones, only then will he develop confidence in his abilities.
Fatigue has accumulated. Children are very susceptible to stress. At the end of the school year, it seems that they only need to consolidate all the material they have covered, but they become lethargic and inactive. Give your child motivation, tell him that after school he can relax with you at sea, or go where he wants to go.
Slowness, shyness. Perhaps your child’s psychological personality traits are slightly different from his peers. Over time this goes away. If this bothers you greatly, take your child to a psychologist. Psychological trainings will be useful for the child, where he will be among children with the same problems.
There is an addiction to the computer or TV. Children are most susceptible to this addiction. Limit the time you spend at the computer or watching TV.
The cause cannot be determined. Outwardly everything is fine, but the child still does not want to study.

To eliminate the reason why your child does not want to study, you need to delve into the psychology of relationships with children, pinpoint this reason and find techniques to increase motivation, thinking, memory and development of abilities. Child psychologists will help you with this, as well as trainings and seminars conducted specifically for parents, as well as advice from other mothers on the forum, for example, Perm icon smile If the child does not want to study There is such a warm atmosphere, kind, sympathetic interlocutors. Communication on this resource can be not only useful, but also very enjoyable occupation.

When the baby is still very small, parents have no doubt that he will become a successful and smart student at school! However, with the start of school life, most children have difficulties with the motivation to study...

At different school periods, parents are perplexed why their inquisitive and capable child turns out to be almost the last in the class in terms of academic performance.

If a child does not want to learn, the advice of a psychologist and obtaining knowledge “from under pressure” will not help without a detailed analysis of the problem.

All schoolchildren are conditionally divided into several categories:

Some are willing to learn.
Others take their studies calmly, but without enthusiasm.
Still others don’t like studying, but they endure it.
And the latter categorically refuse to study.

At the same time, from time to time the same student may find himself in one of the listed categories. And the reason for such metamorphoses lies in external factors and gaps in education.

Parents' mistakes

Some mothers and fathers unconsciously instill in their child a reluctance to learn at an early age. The desire of parents to show off a child prodigy leads to the fact that the child begins to teach writing and reading too early, depriving him of ordinary children's games.

Often the interests of the baby are not taken into account at all. As a result, all the efforts of parents later result in additional tutors, who will also push the child towards the required indicators, and not towards the desire to learn.

It is important that a 6-year-old child is simply inquisitive and wants to learn something new, then the desire to learn will not keep itself waiting. The learning process for a child should be a fun adventure and an entertaining game, and demands and restrictions should be present less often than rewards and praise.

It is easier to blame your own child, a careless teacher or a weak educational institution than to see the true reason for poor performance.

The most common reason for reluctance to study is lack of interest in the subject.. In this case, you need to interest the child by turning homework into an exciting process. Scandals are canceled, and they are replaced by encouragement and proper stimulation. You will have to work hard if the ability to learn was not instilled before school, and you will have to replace children’s toys with more complex games.

Lack of a specific learning goal can become a problem after primary school, for example, at 9 years old. At this age, new subjects are added, which are perceived by the student as an additional and useless burden. The child begins not only to protest, but also to ask why it is necessary to study at all. For a rich life? It’s great if parents have a two-story villa and a couple of cars attached to their academic degree. In reality, successful poor students and poor scientists are much more common. For the benefit of the country? Such formulation is absolutely incomprehensible to a child. For new knowledge? This is also not an argument, since the child is not taught to truly enjoy learning.

Fatigue is the reason for giving up studying, if the child does not want to go to school only in the second half of the year.

The baby lacks parental attention and love. In this case, he is subconsciously trying to attract your attention with his behavior. You notice that good behavior in children is taken for granted, while bad behavior causes serious conversations. Even if this is not the most pleasant, it is also time together with mom and dad!

How to help your child relieve fatigue and tension?

Don’t forget that childhood is given to us not only for studying and setting record results in sports and science! The child must have free time for games, walks with friends and personal interests.

For physical fatigue It is advisable to remove sports sections and extra classes from the daily routine, giving you the opportunity to relax and have personal time!
For mental fatigue(absent-mindedness, poor perception of material, lack of concentration) will require long walks and sports.
Symptoms of emotional fatigue There are problems with night sleep, when the child cannot fall asleep for a long time, and walks lethargically during the day. In this case, spending time together will help, for example, making a model airplane together or watching an interesting film.

Why don't you want to go to school yet?

Some problems come during adolescence. As early as 11 years old, a child can refuse to study due to bad relationships with classmates or teachers. In this case, the problem is solved individually with the help of a psychologist and teachers, or the only option left is to change schools in order to improve the educational process.

Reluctance to acquire knowledge can cause stressful situation(death of a beloved pet, parental divorce, moving). And if the child does not want to study, the psychologist’s advice in this situation is limited to patience and calm conversations. Be sure to discuss difficult situations with your child, support him and explain what is happening.

Diseases They also make their own adjustments, since after a long absence from classes it is not always possible to catch up on your own. You cannot force a child to study until he is fully strengthened. It is better to postpone classes for a more favorable time and help them deal with new tasks.

Comparisons and humiliations. If a student constantly hears from his parents about the successes and talents of Petya Ivanov, and at the same time receives “compliments” in the form of “stupid” and “stupid”, then at the age of 12 this will certainly discourage him from studying. The actions of an unqualified teacher who, in front of the entire class, humiliates one of the children for poor studies will lead to the same result. The child develops a behavioral motto: “Why do anything, if nothing works out, I’m still stupid and bad.”

There may also be negative consequences educational process in the style of “you - to me, I - to you”. If in childhood there was a reward for every action, then at school the situation is reversed. Now the child is “raising” his mom and dad: no reward, no learning. What to do in this case? Be patient and firmly stand your ground, since a “turning point” in character is always more difficult than normal upbringing.

Pay attention to your interests

It is possible to instill a desire to learn when parents pay attention to their responsibility and upbringing, which have a powerful influence on shaping the character of their offspring. After all, if mom and dad spend most of their time in front of the computer or TV and have never been seen with a book, what can you expect from your own child?

Therefore, in many cases, before deciding what to do if a child does not want to study, you will have to fill in the gaps in upbringing, find qualified specialists, and even reconsider your habits, setting a personal example.

Almost all parents at a certain period are faced with a situation where their children do not show much desire to study in an educational institution. They grab their heads: “How can this be, because he is so smart and talented, just recently he studied with pleasure and brought good grades from school, the teachers praised him, but now it’s as if they have replaced him...”

What fathers and mothers, grandmothers and grandfathers do in their noble desire to set their child on the right path, they use the carrot and stick method, shame, praise, draw an unenviable future for the “lazy person”, cite peers as an example in their studies, and having exhausted all methods influence, in despair, they go with their son or daughter to a psychologist.

Meanwhile, the reasons why a child does not want to go to school are quite simple, however, they require careful analysis.

Scale of the problem

Did you know that originally the word “school” translated from Greek meant “free time, conversation.” Philosophers invited those interested to a kind of “lesson”, where they exchanged experiences, having leisurely conversations in a calm atmosphere. Now compare the ancient Greek and modern schools. Today, the education system is far from the original: strict control over academic performance and assessments.

The school fulfills its purpose - to give children certain knowledge, and the individual characteristics of a particular student are a secondary issue. Parents want the same thing, so that their children can absorb information over the course of eleven years, achieve satisfactory grades, so that they can subsequently enter a university and receive an education. The guys are spontaneous and sincere, many of them do not accept the teaching system imposed in the form of an ultimatum.

So, reluctance to learn is an adequate reaction. Remember yourself at their age? Was your desire to attend school every day really that great? Did all subjects interest you equally? Did you like all the teachers? Hardly. And the modern education system these days is far from ideal.

If you look at it, all children, without exception, want to learn. However, all students have different abilities. Some are endowed with an analytical mindset, others have creative abilities, and others gravitate towards humanitarian subjects.

Meanwhile, they all have to master the same sciences, many of which are simply not given to them. So, before labeling your child a slacker, try to delve into the problem, figure out what underlies the loss of interest in learning, and if you were unable to reveal his talent in time, think, maybe in the current situation there is also your wine too?

Before it’s too late, you need to take measures, which include identifying the child’s career guidance, aptitude for certain sciences being studied, and, if necessary, transferring to an educational institution where these subjects are studied in depth, selecting clubs, and enrolling in electives.

10 reasons why your child doesn't want to go to school

If parents are able to find out the reason why their child does not want to study, then we can say that the problem is half solved. The main factors causing a negative attitude towards school are:

Total control by parents. A child returning from school is immediately forced to do his homework, his diary and notebooks are scrupulously examined, and they begin to scold him for unsatisfactory grades. Meanwhile, he needs at least 1.5 hours to recover and rest. Fatigue and absent-mindedness lead to the fact that he becomes irritable, a storm of protest against such control arises in him and, as a result, there is a reluctance to learn.
Lack of control. It also happens that parents go to the other extreme, giving the child complete freedom of action, saying that he is already an adult and responsible. The kids want to go for a walk, play with friends, watch TV, play computer games. Do not overestimate the capabilities of your son or daughter; control within reasonable limits has never harmed anyone.
Conflicts at school. The child may not tell his parents about his personal problems. He can quarrel with other guys, teachers and not advertise this fact. Meanwhile, this is the main reason why children do not want to study and attend an educational institution, and are unsuccessful.
Change of world view. Parents have high hopes for a child who has shown outstanding abilities from a very early age. What a bitter disappointment it is when a child, whom they proudly called a genius, suddenly declares that he is not interested in learning. Such children cannot learn under pressure, and excessive pressure only irritates them.
No incentives. If a child does not want to learn, it is quite possible that he lacks motivation. Not all children understand why they need to go to school every day, not all are focused on long-term results, on graduating from school with at least zero grades.
Speculation on health. Frequently ill children can sometimes feign signs of illness. Parents feel sorry for their child, often allowing him to stay at home instead of going to school. The cunning man, receiving an indulgence, begins to think something like this: “Why do we need this school, grades, if you won’t be punished for absenteeism anyway?” They will give good grades anyway, feeling sorry for the “poor patient.”
An unfavorable family environment and scandals between parents contribute to irritability and nervousness in the student, reducing intellectual processes and the desire to learn.
Bad Company. Very often, a teenage child does not want to study if he is influenced by other children, for whom other values and, possibly, bad habits are a priority.
Complexity. If a child has any defects in appearance or is very behind in any subject, it is quite logical that he will not feel the desire to go to school, fearing ridicule.
Excessive activity. If a boy or girl is hyperactive, it will be difficult for him to sit through all the lessons at school and withstand teacher control.

There are many secondary reasons that explain why children do not want to go to school. This can be psychological stress, overwork, lack of sleep (usually this applies to younger schoolchildren), and excessive responsibility of the child, which can lead to loss of interest in learning.

What should parents do if their child doesn’t want to study?

First of all, you should talk confidentially with the child, as with an adult, to find out what exactly is an obstacle for him to successful learning. Having established the cause, you should immediately begin to eliminate it. The success of the process, which will not be quick, depends on how quickly you act.

For example, if the reason for the lack of interest in learning lies in excessive parental care, then it is necessary to slightly lower the reins and give the child a little independence (within reasonable limits). It may well happen that at first he will study worse, but then he will definitely understand that being an outsider is not very prestigious, and will make some effort to get good grades.

Establish trust. Take an interest in how your son or daughter communicates with peers; perhaps he has a serious conflict with one of them. With kids - students in grades 1-4 (from 7 to 11 years old) - the problem can be solved, as they say, on the spot. All you have to do is come to class together and talk to the children, all together or separately. With children in adolescence (12-15) and older (16-18) it is somewhat more difficult, since at this age you do not want to appear weak in front of your peers.

What else should you do if your child doesn’t want to go to school? Be sure to talk to your teachers. Not all teachers are tactful and fair. Don't let anyone bully your child.

Spend more time with your children, go to concerts, movies, walks, play sports. Find common interests - this will promote rapprochement.

If you cannot resolve the situation yourself, it would be useful to seek help from a specialist, sometimes from a psychiatrist if the problem is very serious.

It would be wrong to think that visiting a psychologist is something shameful, because your child’s health is at stake. It is quite possible that even one visit to a specialist will be enough to make the life of the child and all family members easier. Advice from an experienced psychologist specializing in school problems will help relieve tension and stop further debate about the importance and feasibility of education:

Build a trusting relationship with your child, become a friend to him. In this case, he will have no secrets from you.
Constantly show your child how dear and loved he is to you, and his bad grades will not affect your attitude.
Under no circumstances compare your child with other, more successful friends. This may cause a backlash.
Allow them to exercise independence and decide for themselves when to sit down for homework and in what order to do them. However, gently suggest that you should start first with more complex subjects that require maximum concentration.
Don’t set strict time limits and don’t force yourself to sit down for lessons. Agree that if your child completes his homework before 7 p.m., then after that you will go to the skating rink, the cinema, or the zoo. Don't be afraid to stimulate.
Do not skimp on praise, remember that the best reward is parental approval.
Don’t swear for unfinished homework, but state the facts, for example: “Well, it’s time to go to bed soon, homework has not been completed yet...”
Don't do your homework instead of your child, let him take his own initiative.
Rejoice at every success, even the smallest. The child must believe that you are ready to share his joys with him.
Don’t be shy about voicing your feelings: “I’m worried that you didn’t learn the poem well. What if the teacher asks you to tell it and you get a bad grade?”

In conclusion, I would like to say to all adults: trust your son or daughter. If a child says the words “I’m not interested in studying, I won’t go to school,” this does not mean that he wants to offend you; perhaps he needs help. You will have to show extraordinary patience to go this long way with your child, if you just want to.

All parents want their child to study excellently, but what to do if he doesn’t want to study not only excellently, but doesn’t want to study at all?

A kind of lazy little guy for whom picking up a book is like digging up a garden. This is where parents begin to think - what to do?

Try to force a child, in childhood everyone is prone to protest, so it is unlikely that this way will be able to save the situation. We'll figure it out together.

The child does not want to study: reasons and everything connected with them

There is an option that since childhood your child has not been very fond of unpacking his backpack and looking into the ill-fated diary, but the situation is completely different if the zeal for learning, even if not very strong, stopped suddenly. So, out of the blue, your child begins to declare that he doesn’t want to go to school, has no desire to learn anything, and even more so, there are no good grades.

The child’s abilities do not correspond to the level of the school curriculum

Do not rush to be indignant and say that your baby is the best. No one denies this, but have you seen his school textbooks yourself? Have you tried to solve a couple of tasks? Try it! Sometimes the information written there can lead a candidate of science, let alone a child, into a dead end. We’ll talk about what to do in such a situation a little later, but for now let’s see what else could cause a child to lose the desire to learn.

He needs motivation

How often do you praise your child for his successes? Do you encourage him? And we’re not just talking about A’s. Say “Vasya, you’re great!” This is not only insufficient, it gives no effect at all. Hearing standard phrases of praise from parents, the child does not feel particularly proud of his achievements, especially when his mother half-listens to his story about winning a school Olympiad or competition and, between “Bring onions for borscht” and “I need to go to the dentist tomorrow,” says a vague “Okay.” Well done son."

No interest in certain subjects

Even the most capable child cannot know everything. Some people are quite adept at juggling between school subjects and teaching a little bit of everything, but what if your child is not one of them? There is absolutely nothing wrong with this if he pays more attention to studying some lessons even to the detriment of others, no matter how much the teachers repeat this. Of course, for every teacher his subject is the best, but why would you bother your child with quarrels over another C in biology? Remember yourself during your school years, did you succeed in everything? You know the joke: “When a child does something weird, remember yourself at his age, pat the baby on the head and go drink your valerian.”

Relationships with classmates do not work out

How much do parents know about their child’s personal relationships with classmates? To tell the truth, practically nothing. This news definitely upset those who believe that they have complete control over the child’s life in all areas, but this is by no means the case. All we know about this is information obtained from the words of the child himself, who can embellish everything so that parents do not worry, or school teachers, who often only know about relationships in the classroom that Masha and Olya should draw the wall newspaper, because that Olya is not friends with Anya.

Unfavorable atmosphere within the family

When we look for the reason for a child’s reluctance to do homework, for some reason the last thing we remember is that maybe he is uncomfortable being at home?! Frequent quarrels in the family or parents who are constantly in a bad mood because of problems at work are far from the best motivation for a child. Every child wants to return to a home where comfort, joy and peace reign, even if he doesn’t realize it.

Increased activity

Today, it is increasingly possible to meet a hyperactive child at school. Many people perceive them as ordinary fidgets and mischief-makers, but in fact, a hyperactive child needs a special approach and attention. Problems in the learning of such a child are not new!

Distracted by gadgets

This is one of the most popular reasons for reluctance to study today. It’s much more interesting to play tanks, look at photos on social networks and exchange messages with friends. Tablets, phones, computers and others like them should under no circumstances be in the constant access of a lazy person. As long as there is an opportunity to choose: study or toys, the lazy person will choose toys!

The child does not want to study. Where to run? What to do?

Let's remember the good old words “Prevention is better than cure.” When the child is still very young, parents can make big mistakes, which will cause them to clutch their heads in panic in the future.

Let's start with childhood

The first and most important mistake is to teach and force a child to read, write, teach, instead of instilling in him a love for the learning process itself. Quite often, parents require results, specific indicators. The child quickly learns all the skills listed above, visits a bunch of tutors, and spends several hours working on lessons since elementary school. What do we get in the end? We get a little man for whom studying is already in his throat and who at some point may simply lose his temper, looking at how his classmates go to kick the ball after class, and he has an additional English lesson.

Therefore, from childhood, try to make the learning process enjoyable for your child. Practice with him. This does not mean that you should give him a bunch of tasks, even with detailed instructions for completion, and go cook the soup yourself. Sit with him, explain everything he doesn’t understand, praise him. Be sure to encourage! Wrote a dictation? Let's go for ice cream! Solved a couple of math problems? Let's go to the water park! In this case, learning will bring real pleasure to the child.

Let's start from the reason

If the school curriculum is not suitable for the child

This situation is not at all hopeless.

First of all, why did you decide that your child should be a genius? Of course, everyone around is strongly suggesting that if your child is not a child prodigy, then you are not a good parent. But please look at your child and understand that he is not guilty of high issues of society. He wants to enjoy life and sit over textbooks from morning to night.

If we haven’t convinced you otherwise, you can hire a tutor. Notice, one! Sometimes parents suddenly realize that their child is not a good student. One fine evening you look at your child’s diary and realize - that’s it, he’s a lifelong loser, what to do, what to do?! So, in this case, there is no need to immediately hire tutors for almost all subjects and load the child down.

No motivation

Everything is simpler here. To begin with, you can come up with some rewards for your child for good grades and high achievements. Going to the cinema on the weekend for an A in Russian or buying a puppy for a certain number of A's per semester. At the very least, at least praise the child. The “carrot and stick” method is very useful here, because parents often forget about that very carrot. Scolding your child for getting a bad grade and restricting his access to the computer is much easier than setting aside a couple of hours in your busy schedule for the whole family to take a walk in the park and eat cotton candy.

Good grades only in certain subjects

In fact, this minus is rather a plus. If a child focuses his attention only on specific objects, this is very good, because it indicates that he has found himself. Isn't it great? Isn't that what you would like? Nowadays, a huge number of children graduate from school not knowing where to go next, who to become, or in what area they can prove themselves. Therefore, if your child can solve a complex math problem in no time, but finds Russian essays difficult for him, this is not a reason to press your child with indignation, but a reason:

a) give him additional motivation;

b) hire a tutor.

Quarrels with classmates

When a child does not have good relationships in the classroom, the desire to go to school disappears very quickly. In this case, absenteeism, a sharp decline in academic performance, and an often upset child are quite possible.

If you realize that this is the case, try talking to him. This can be incredibly difficult, especially if you hardly ever open up, but it's especially necessary now. One small nuance: do not hope that you can earn the trust of a child in one hour by sharing with him some of your stories from childhood or saying the words “You must trust me, because I am your mother, I only wish the best for you.” Do you really think that after this, the child should somehow miraculously see you as a great relationship guru and cling to your shoulder asking for advice? This does not happen, and if it does happen, it is only when the child himself thought about whether he should tell his parents about everything.

Family problems

Imagine the situation. The child, beside himself with happiness, returns home - he won the most difficult Olympiad in world literature! His happiness knows no bounds, and his smile is stretched from ear to ear, he is already imagining how you will strangle him in your arms and shower him with words of praise. But it was not there! It turns out that dad had a crunch at work, he returned home nervously, as a result of which he quarreled with mom and yelled at the other children. Now no one in the house talks to anyone and everyone is offended at each other. What do you think will be the conclusion of this child, who just a minute ago was beaming with joy? Of course, he will decide that no one cares about his success, that no one is interested in his achievements and that it was not worth trying so hard.

Remember, it’s not the child’s fault that you’re in a bad mood today, it’s raining outside, and your salary is delayed by two weeks. He sat at his school desk all day, dreaming of returning home, where he was welcome and where he was expected. Provide this joy at all costs!

Hyperactivity

You need to be able to see the difference between a simply restless child and a hyperactive child. A psychologist can help determine this. If you know that you have a hyperactive child, then to improve his performance, send your child to a wrestling/dancing/aerobics section, or anywhere, as long as he spends his excess energy there.

5 simple tips for raising a child who doesn't want to study

Raising a child is an art. In this rather lengthy process, many surprises and difficulties await you, but all of them can be overcome. Here are a few universal rules that will help you raise your child without unnecessary worries.

1. Always remain a friend to your child. Tell him about what interesting things happened during your day, share news and jokes. In this case, he will always trust you and the first to know about any problems will not be a secret friend on some forum on the Internet to whom your child turned for help, but you.

2. In any, even the most critical, study-related situations, first find out the reason, and then figure it out later. Actions in the opposite order lead to very negative consequences.

3. Don't compare your child to others, neither personally nor publicly. Your child is unique, do not try to force him into the generally accepted framework of success.

4. Don't take it out on your child - ever! Even if at the most inopportune moment he comes to you with some request or news, do not reject the baby under any circumstances. It's not his fault that you're not in the mood!

5. Solve problems with your child, not with others. Everything should be presented to him as if he were solving his own problems. If there are troubles with friends, explain how he should behave so that relationships with peers improve, rather than calling their mothers. The child should see you as a wise adviser, and not as a person who is trying to get into his own space.

We hope that these tips will help you become a real authority for your child.

By channeling your immense love for your child in the right direction, you can get very good results!