The bride is sitting. Seating of guests at a wedding: what are these mysterious letters T, P, Sh? Wedding signs associated with the color of the bride's dress

The rules of behavior for newlyweds and their parents do not differ much from the general rules, but there are some features inherent in this particular solemn moment.

So, firstly, invitation cards must contain the name of the guest, the date, time and place of the wedding. If something was not indicated in the invitation, then you should definitely indicate directly in writing or orally that this information will be provided additionally and be sure to clarify in what way.

Having celebrated the painting with a glass of champagne, the wedding cortege goes around the city, taking photographs and working up an appetite before. It should last no more than three hours, so as not to tire the guests and the newlyweds themselves.

And finally, at the end of the banquet, the newlyweds must thank all the guests for coming to the wedding and for. In addition, it is advisable for the newlyweds to come up throughout the day and thank each guest for their presence on this fateful day. This will not only maintain etiquette, but also honor the guests.

And remember, all etiquette rules are written by practice and convenience and are logically explainable. Therefore, in any situation you need to be guided by reason and the culture of behavior accepted in society.

In the last program we started talking about preparations for the wedding, the dowry, the role of the witness and the witness. Let's continue our conversation about what other people played an important role at the wedding, and why it is important to know about them.

You were right about the role, because when we talk about a wedding, we suggest the verb “play”. The wedding was played as a performance, where everyone had their own role, and the scope of this role was clearly understood and defined.

We talked about the fact that the people closest to the bride and groom were the best man and the best man, who today are called honorary witnesses.

Who is the main character at the wedding?

The most important thing at the wedding, of course, were the bride and groom. Second in importance were the best man and the best woman. We talked about the fact that these had to be young, unmarried people without children, and most importantly, these people had to play this role once, so as not to remain lonely in life.

It is necessary to understand on which side of the bride and groom their boyfriend and girlfriend are located.

Are we now talking about a wedding in a registry office, church or church, or are we talking about seating at a table at a banquet?

We must understand that the situation of stability should not change. We must respect and honor Christian and folk traditions, so we need to talk about the symbolism of right and left in folk culture.

I want to ask a question, on what foot did you get up this morning?

I get up on my right foot because I sleep on my right.

This is a common expression. When we see a somewhat rude, boorish person, we say: “You got off on the wrong foot today.” This means that there is a leg with which you need to stand so that a person is in a normal state of mind, so that he does not quarrel with anyone.

Another situation: you are going on an excursion, you stop at a beautiful forest edge, and the driver says the sacramental phrase: “Boys to the left, girls to the right.”

A woman complains to a woman in a conversation: “My husband probably went to the left.” From here you can build a logical chain that going to the left means going to a woman.

I'd say it means something bad.

It just means going to another woman. Therefore, we already feel that the left half, the left part, that which is marked with the word “left” has always belonged to the woman. Everything on the right belonged to the man.

We have men's and women's clothing, and we know that the buttons on a woman's jacket will be sewn on the left placket, and on a man's - on the right.

It's right. But why is a woman associated with the left, that is, with something bad, with the bad side?

I wouldn't say it's bad. This is just a division of our space into right and left.

Let's go to a traditional Belarusian hut. Opposite the threshold there is a red corner, and the space of the house is divided diagonally. The left half will definitely have a stove, and a woman works there, preparing breakfast and lunch. The right side was given to the man.

Let's look at the church calendar, at the holidays that are associated with the veneration of the Virgin Mary and Jesus Christ. If we conventionally imagine a yearly circle and place holidays along the contour, we will see that the Nativity of Christ, the Baptism of the Lord, the Presentation of the Lord, Easter, the Ascension, that is, the holidays associated with men, are located on the right half of the circle. All holidays associated with the Virgin Mary will be on the left half of the circle.

If we go into the church, we will see that the image of the Virgin Mary is located to the left of the altar, and the image of Jesus Christ is to the right of it. When a couple enters the temple to get married, the woman will stand on the left half of the temple, closer to the image of the Virgin Mary, the groom will stand on the right half, closer to the image of Jesus Christ.

Why is it important to comply with this? Why should the bride stand to the left of the groom?

Why should we cross the road when the traffic light is green? There are certain rules that no one will break - it just doesn’t make sense. We are Orthodox people, orthodox, and we will cross ourselves from right to left. For Catholics, it’s the other way around: they cross themselves from left to right.

So, is it a matter of faith?

Certainly. Within the framework of our program, it is impossible to understand all the canons of the church, all the canons of folk tradition. We say that we respect both one, and the second, and the third tradition. There are a lot of Muslims in our country, and we respect these traditions: we will not come to their sacred place and will not restore order there. We will simply respect them.

Therefore, in an Orthodox church everything is located exactly like this. The cross with which we sign ourselves is done in exactly this way. People who profess Orthodoxy put wedding rings on their right ring finger.

Why does the bride stand to the right of the groom in registry offices today?

It is necessary to understand the symbolism of right and left. In pre-Christian times, one of the deities among the Slavs was the god Prav. And all the words with the same root - “truth, house manager, truthful, correct” - come from the name of the god Rule, the god of truth. People came to him to judge who was right and who was wrong. This is where the branch of Christianity came from, which was founded in Byzantium and received the name “Orthodoxy.”

The wedding continues the tradition, so the groom, the head of the family, placed the bride next to him on the left side so that his right hand was free to make the most important decisions that only men can make. The woman who was getting married took his left hand and stood to his left.

The best man and the best man stood next to each other: the best man stood with her friend, in the same way, on the left side, and the best man, a friend of the groom, a man, stood on the right side, next to the groom.

Let's invite our listeners to experiment. On any major holiday, go to a church and you will see women concentrating on the left half of an Orthodox church, and men concentrating on the right half.

I quite often communicate with registry office employees and several times asked them the question of why modern brides stand to the right of the groom. Most often people shrug their shoulders and don’t answer it. Sometimes I hear this: “In the registry office, the bride stands on the right, we will register the marriage, and then put it the other way around.” The bride is driven now to the right, now to the left. It seems to me that you need to stand up in the traditional way. If a woman’s buttons are fastened on the left side, it means that near the groom, near the man, you need to stand on the left side.

Why don’t employees of Belarusian registry offices know about these traditions? After all, they are the fundamental link in the beginning of family life.

Unfortunately, during the Soviet era we forgot a lot of things. Something was preserved, collected bit by bit, and perhaps the fact that today we are trying to remember the traditions of our ancestors, trying to bring them back into our lives is already good.

Not only that: we will come to the festive table, and our bride and groom will sit down exactly as we said, and all her relatives will sit on the bride’s side, and all his guests will sit on the groom’s side. This is wonderful: two wings, two clans have united, and each will take its own position.

How do you feel about the fact that today the best man sits next to the bride, the witness, and the witness sits next to the groom?

The youth audience responds this way: the best man protects the bride. From whom, from the groom? Well, okay, we found some role for the best man at the wedding. What then does the best man do on the groom's side? It turns out that “going left” is made legal right at the wedding itself. A man should sit next to the groom, the best man, covering the entire couple.

A wedding is a very sacred, sacred time, which lays the foundation for the future life of the newlyweds. And the more such nuances we remember, the more correctly and competently we line the feather bed, according to the well-known traditions and those that exist specifically in a given area, it will only be wonderful.

What should accompany the action of seating at the table?

Of course, the bride and groom were the first to be brought to the wedding table. The bride, who was preparing to get married, wove about forty towels, and each of them had its own meaning. The father took a not very long, not very wide towel, tied the hands of the bride and groom, and beautifully wound them up and seated them in their place. It was, as a rule, a bench covered with a casing and tied with a red ribbon so that the family would have prosperity and children. Then everyone else sat down. The last to sit at the table were the oldest people - they brought up the rear of the wedding table.

Let's get back to the important wedding roles. Who are the imprisoned parents and what was their role?

If it happened that the mother was widowed or the parents were divorced, then such a mother could not participate in the wedding ceremonies. Today, mothers do not understand and are even offended when they are told that they should fade into the background. Yes, life is very difficult, people can be married in their first or second marriage, and the most important thing is for them to be happy, to find a soul mate with whom they will have a good life. But in this situation we are talking about a ritual, about who had the moral right to participate in them, and who did not have such a right.

We are starting a family and want to live happily. The principle of happiness and well-being is constantly visible in all Belarusian rituals. One of the most striking examples is Kolyady: how you celebrate the New Year is how you spend it. He had to be greeted in new clothes, at a generous, rich table, and always with his entire family. Everything I want should have been here and now.

The family got together, dressed festively, and at this time carolers come to the house and begin to sing songs that contain wishes. The more wishes were made during the celebration of Kolyad, the richer and happier the family will be.

After the young people left the temple, their sacred duty was to come to the cemetery to bow to their deceased relatives. In some regions this was done on Saturday, the day before the wedding, but in some they did it after leaving the temple. The principle “before myself, my ancestors” worked. Before sitting down at the festive wedding table, you had to go and bow to those to whom you owe your life.

In this case, where should the newlyweds go after the registry office or wedding?

Hard to say. Once on television we did a program about weddings, and one viewer was indignant: how can we send our daughter-bride to the cemetery on such a solemn, beautiful day? What, our cemetery is not a solemn place?

Of course, everyone decides for themselves whether to follow this custom or not. But if we stand on the fundamental traditions of our ancestors, we need to remember the principle “before ourselves, ancestors.” You don’t have to go to the cemetery on the Saturday when the newlyweds go to the registry office, you can do it the day before, but this visit was mandatory.

If we talk about filling the time that is between the registry office and the table, then we need to go to the burial places of the heroes of the Great Patriotic War: if we start building our family tree, it will turn out that in some generation our relatives lie there.

You can object by saying that relatives may be buried far from your current place of residence. In this situation, when we bow to any monument to the fallen, we perform that obligatory action that was in the wedding tradition - to bow to those to whom we owe our lives.

I have an ambivalent attitude towards the Island of Tears, where our young couples go. One immediately imagines a grieving mother who did not cry her tears for her son, who did not even bury him. Therefore, if you do not have a family relationship with those people who are being mourned there, then you probably should not intrude into this situation. In general, the Island of Tears is dedicated to the guys who fulfilled their international duty, and after 15-20 newlywed couples visit there, bottles and plastic cups fly everywhere. All this takes place in a kind of frivolous behavior of young people and their friends, and all this insults our traditions. We insult those people in whose honor this monument was created.

We've gone a little off topic. Let's go back to the imprisoned parents.

So, we must remember the principle of honoring ancestors, wishing ourselves and our family well-being and happiness, wishing for the continuation of our family line. And the last principle, which is very important, is that something like this will provoke, attract or create a situation like this. A variety of examples can be given: a pregnant woman should not look at various freaks - she will give birth to the same freak. In front of a pregnant woman, not even the strongest swear word in the village will say a single swear word - like will cause like.

In this situation, when the mother found herself outside the couple, she could provoke, create a situation with exactly the same share of the child’s fate. Therefore, she was carefully relegated to the background, and a happy married couple who were sure to have children was appointed to this place. They chose the ideal couple whose life they wanted for themselves and to wish for their children. And then these imprisoned parents had to perform ritual actions intended for parents.

We have already talked a lot about who matchmakers are, how they were chosen, how they were appointed. Let's talk about what role they play at a wedding, how they should be dressed and why?

Indeed, we talked quite a lot about the role of matchmakers. I repeat that these were worthy people, very respected in the area, people who knew their traditions. It remains to determine the relationship between godparents and matchmakers.

The best original version was as follows. The groom had a godfather, he had a wife, which allowed this couple to become a full-fledged matchmaker.

That is, ideally matchmakers are husband and wife?

Yes, and they were one couple. But the groom also had a godmother, and the godmother also had a husband - this was the second pair of matchmakers. Therefore, at the wedding, the bride had two pairs of matchmakers and the groom had two pairs of matchmakers. Moreover, the bride’s wedding was ruled in her house - it was the work of two couples of this side, the groom’s house had its own ball, and the other two pairs of matchmakers were in charge there.

How do you understand that the bride’s wedding took place in her home?

We have already said that the wedding once took three or four days, so for the first half, after the newlyweds got married, they came to the bride’s house.

In a word, ideally there should have been four pairs of matchmakers. The most important thing was to observe the unshakable condition - like causes like. Therefore, if the godmother was widowed or divorced at the time of her goddaughter’s wedding, she was the most important, most honored guest, she was always given gifts, but she could not play the role of matchmaker, because she was outside the couple. Then a happy married couple was chosen for this place. It's no secret that the matchmakers were the most important, the generals at the wedding, those people whose role today is played by the host or toastmaster. And in order to see this main person at the wedding, she and he were tied with towels.

The matchmaker had the knot that tied the towel together on the right side, and the matchmaker had it on the left. And when this married couple stood next to each other, the matchmaker took the matchmaker’s left arm, and the result was that same arch, rainbow, gateway that was always in the center of the wedding.

In Soviet times, a tradition arose to take a matchmaker from the bride's side, and a matchmaker was appointed from the groom's side - the couple was broken up. We went endlessly downhill: a three-day wedding became a two-day wedding, there were four pairs of matchmakers and two loaves, and now we have reached the point where on our only wedding day we eat a single sponge wedding cake. We have reached the minimum, so we probably don’t need so many matchmakers today. And weddings today are ruled not by matchmakers, but by professional toastmasters.

But the fact is that when the child was baptized, these same godparents carried him to the temple in their arms. They made their vow: “Just as we were bachyts yago dead, so we will be bachyts yago dead.” They definitely had to be at the wedding of a godson or goddaughter. And a sign of respect and veneration for these same godparents was tying them with a towel. Even if today our matchmakers are just guests who can do little at the wedding, tying them with a towel is a sacred thing for every godson.

Why today, instead of a towel, the matchmaker is tied with a pink ribbon, and the matchmaker is tied with a blue one?

This all comes from Soviet times, when we didn’t want a village towel, although, in my opinion, it’s impossible to replace a beautiful towel with any ribbon.

As for color, I think everyone knows what shades modern people use to identify representatives of sexual minorities. I don’t know how much this should be cultivated at weddings. Every year I attend exhibitions of wedding salons and wedding fashion, and I never cease to wonder: when will the pink and blue ribbons end, when will we return to beautiful, luxurious, embroidered woven towels with fringe and tassels? It's probably time to move away from pink and blue tones.

All our ribbons are written the same way - from left to right, so such a ribbon can only be tied or pinned on the left hand. Then our matchmakers stand like two lines that never intersect, and our “house” will no longer exist. But how do these lines not intersect when the matchmakers are husband and wife?

Do you regret that now these traditions do not exist in the form in which they were before?

Probably, if it were not a pity, I would not be here. If I weren’t the author of eight monographs, today we are preparing the book “Belarusian Wedding: Traditions and Modernity”. As long as I live, I will talk so much about what I learned from my relatives, from those people with whom I communicate on expeditions.

I think that we are still returning to the ideals and traditions that once existed, because there was nothing but a unifying, creative foundation. They never destroyed anything, but only protected as much as possible the couple who created their future.

If you had the chance to change modern wedding traditions, where would you start?

First of all, I would return to my family: not a single school, not a single kindergarten, not a single book and not a single portal will teach people to return to this. When guests come to us, the first thing the hostess worries about is whether there is a bottle in the house. Unfortunately, this is what happens. And I say: if you put the bottle on the table first, there will be a fight. And if you put bread on the table first, there will be a song. We need to change the situation, show the child that bread should be placed first on the table covered with a tablecloth, and then everything else. Ten years will pass, and your child will know that bread should be the first to appear on the table.

You need to change the pros to the cons, and you need to start with yourself and your family.

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A wedding is the happiest day of your life, and nothing should overshadow it. To ensure everything goes off without a hitch, seat the wedding guests correctly, according to their wedding ranks.

Bride and groom at the festive table they always sit in the middle of the long side of the table in order to be as equidistant as possible from all the guests. If you sit at the head of a long table on its narrow side, then your guests on the opposite side will not be able to congratulate you.

The bride at the wedding should sit at the table to the right of the groom - this is the custom.

Parents of the newlyweds at the wedding table

Parents can sit in close proximity to the newlyweds in this order: the groom’s father should be seated to the right of the bride, followed by the groom’s mother. Traditionally, the bride’s mother sits to the left of the groom at a wedding, followed by the girl’s father.

However, it is also possible that witnesses will sit in close proximity to the newlyweds at the wedding table, followed by the parents of the bride and groom in that order.

Best man and bridesmaid at the wedding table sitting not far from the bride and groom. There are two generally accepted options for positioning witnesses. When they sit directly next to the newlyweds, the witness sits to the left of the groom, and the witness sits to the right of the bride.

If these places are occupied by the parents of the newlyweds, then it is customary to place the witnesses opposite the newlyweds or somewhere near them.

How to seat guests at a wedding without fuss?

When guests enter the banquet hall, it is difficult for them to immediately find their bearings, find a place for themselves, and a crowd forms at the entrance that does not know how to behave. To avoid such hiccups at a wedding, prepare in advance signs with the names and “wedding ranks” of the guests that will stand on the tables.

This way, each guest will easily find the place allocated to him and will not be shy, worry or feel uncomfortable.

If there are a lot of guests at your wedding - more than 100, then at the entrance to the banquet hall you should place a general diagram of the hall indicating the table numbers and names of the guests who are sitting at each table.

This way, each guest will be able to find their table according to the diagram at the entrance, and will know in which direction they should go. And near his table he will find exactly his place according to a beautiful sign with his name and wedding ceremony, if there is one.

Today there are many discrepancies about where the bride should stand at a wedding in relation to the groom - on the right or on the left. It is interesting that even registry office employees cannot explain the reasons why one must become one way or another. It happens that the bride is first placed to the right of the groom, and after the ceremony - to the left. Confusion begins. Many newlyweds think that this issue is insignificant and does not affect anything.

But people who preserve ancient traditions and esotericists of all stripes unanimously claim that this has a great sacred meaning. And just as in jurisprudence, ignorance of the law does not exempt you from the consequences of violating them. So where the bride sits or stands relative to the groom also influences how the future life of the couple will turn out!

If we start with the fact that any clothing has a fastener on the female and male sides. Women fasten buttons to the left, men - to the right. Logically, a woman stands, sits and walks to the left of a man. There is even a well-reasoned explanation for this - a woman’s place near a man’s heart is the most ideal and logically justified. With his right hand he protects her, holding her through life with his left hand.

Based on this, the bride goes to the registry office, stands during registration and must sit at the wedding reception to the LEFT of the groom.

Moreover, sometimes confusion arises when it is necessary to place young witnesses next to them. They often place the witness next to the bride and the bridesmaid next to the groom. This fundamentally contradicts the historically established Slavic strictness of morals and chastity. According to ancient canons, the task of the witness (the ancient name is the best man) is to protect the couple during the ceremony and vouch for them to higher powers that they will maintain the integrity of the family and their relationship. This is a very serious responsibility. And therefore, in the old regime times, only decent family men who had established themselves as guardians of morality and moral principles were taken as best men. If you look at ancient pictures of Russian life, the best man always stood next to the groom, providing PROTECTION to the newly born family!

Arranging witnesses at a wedding differently is the same as condoning a decline in morals. The tradition of placing or seating a witness next to the bride is based on the common misconception that the best man at a wedding protects the bride. You can still come to terms with this. But the tacit consent of those around him regarding the girlfriend sitting or standing next to the groom practically allows him to walk “to the left.” It is the best man who must cover the couple, and for this he must be on the right hand of the groom.

It is strange that even civil registry office employees sometimes do not have this information, although due to their line of work they should.

What other arguments are there about where the bride should sit, on which side of the groom?

Let's remember. The expression “walk to the left” means to walk towards a woman. Logically, this means that the left side initially belongs to the woman, and the right side is the prerogative of the man.

Further. The church calendar has the concept of a yearly circle, in which all the major Orthodox holidays are arranged. Moreover, everything connected with Christ - from Christmas, Epiphany to Easter and Ascension - is located on the right side of this circle, and women's holidays dedicated to the Virgin Mary are on the left. Inside any Orthodox church, icons with the face of the Mother of God are located on the left side of the altar, and icons with Christ are located on the right.

During the wedding, the bride stands directly opposite the Virgin Mary, and the groom stands at the right hand of the bride, opposite the image of Christ.

Since pre-Christian times, information has reached us about a Slavic deity named Prav, who helped to find the truth. Many words, one way or another connected with truth, rules, the right hand, came from him. Orthodoxy in some ways continued this tradition. A man’s right hand should always remain free to perform protective functions and make strategic decisions. Therefore, the woman is to his left.

Another tradition is connected with this, which many do not remember. The newlyweds must stay together throughout the wedding day so that not a single person can pass between them. It is very difficult to monitor this on your own, so usually the mother of the bride takes on this role, vigilantly guarding her daughter’s happiness.

Therefore, let's remember that a wedding is not just a fun holiday. This is a sacred rite in which every little detail is important, which will affect the quality of future family life.

Which side should the bride stand at the registry office?

Which side should you stand on when getting married?

Where should parents and witnesses stand?

What is the difference between a Catholic wedding?

Why should young people stick together all day?

A wedding is not only one of the happiest and most important days in our lives, but also quite exciting, since there are many expectations and all sorts of signs associated with it. Young people often wonder how to stand during a ceremony in a church or in a registry office.

Which side should the bride stand at the registry office?

During the official registration of marriage the groom should hold the bride to his left, that is, closer to the heart. According to folk traditions, the bride is on the left so that the groom's right hand remains free to protect his beloved.

In the Soviet Union, when registering a marriage, registry office workers placed the groom on the left and the bride on the right. An exception to the rule was considered only if the groom was a military man. In this case, the bride was supposed to be on the left and the groom on the right - so that he could salute with his right hand.

Which side should you stand on when getting married?

According to church canons at a wedding the bride is on the left side of the groom, which is also due to the corresponding location of the icons in the temple. To the left of the altar is the image of the Virgin Mary, and to the right of the altar is the image of Jesus Christ. Thus, at a wedding, the bride and witness stand on the left half of the temple, and the groom and witness stand on the right half. This position of the bride during the ceremony can be observed in ancient paintings dedicated to the wedding, for example, in the painting by Ilya Repin “The Wedding of Nicholas II and Alexandra Fedorovna.”

Where should parents and witnesses stand?

During the wedding, the groom's parents should be to the right of the newlyweds, and the bride's parents should be to the left. The witness is positioned to the right of the groom, and the witness is positioned to the left of the bride. Sometimes at a wedding you can see how the witness is placed next to the bride, and the bridesmaid is placed next to the groom. This fundamentally contradicts the historically established Slavic strictness of morals and chastity. According to ancient canons, the task of the witness (the ancient name is the best man) is to protect the couple during the ceremony and vouch for them to higher powers that they will preserve the integrity of the family. For this reason, only decent family men were taken as best men. In case of danger, it is the best man who must cover the couple, and for this he must be on the right hand of the groom.

What is the difference between a Catholic wedding?

The groom and best man wait for the bride at the altar, and the bride enters the church accompanied by her father or another male relative. The groom bows to the bride and her father and invites her to take him under her left arm. After this, the father bows to the groom’s relatives and moves to the left side of the temple, where the bride’s relatives are located.

Why should young people stick together all day?

There is a sign that for married life to develop successfully, the bride should be to the left of the groom throughout the wedding celebration, but the next day the wife is located to the right. Moreover, the young people must stay together all the time so that not a single person can pass between them. The mother of the bride often takes on this role, protecting her daughter's happiness.