Funny short poems for adults. comic poems

As one of the sections of the site with jokes, a rather peculiar style of humor. A common person can write short poems about love or about their parents, but only a few are able to translate humorous fantasies into poetic form. And in order to want to download poems and make them laugh to tears, for this the author must have a real talent.

Personally, I really like cool poems . It doesn’t matter what topic they will be on, the main thing is that the poem causes laughter. Although, it is possible to single out poems about work as a separate category, since most of these creations are written in a form that mocks work, and therefore almost every poem about work makes readers smile.

Few readers are able to read a long verse to the end. But in vain. Indeed, in long poems, a cheerful denouement most often occurs precisely at the end, and when we read the poems to the end, we understand that we did not waste our time on them. However, small poems are still in great demand among readers. Therefore, short funny jokes are more popular than long jokes.

light verses

The main content of humor in rhymed form is light poems. They don't make you think global issues, do not strain in the process of reading. On the contrary, it is very easy to read light poems, which is why readers like them so much. And even the first verses of beginning poets are often presented in a light humorous way so that readers can relax during the reading process.

IN Lately find worthy funny poems not so easy. Most Internet sites are chasing the number of jokes, fundamentally neglecting the quality. Therefore, poems begin to lose popularity over time, and yet the genre is very, very funny. For example, short poems about doctors, alcoholics or drug addicts are much more fun to read than just their images. Of course, funny photos of these people also cause laughter, but they can hardly be compared with a good poetic work.

As for our site, we can safely say that here are collected the most best poems from all over the internet. Moderators diligently select the best poetic creations so that the reader can believe in the powerful ability of rhyming works to cause laughter. In addition, readers can download cool poems and winged aphorisms, so that later it's great to cheer up their friends during evening gatherings.

Funny short poems are just for those who are lazy to read long poems, but want to laugh at the same time, without straining their eyes and brain. It is for such people in this section that we have placed cool, funny short poems By different topics. Everyone can find here for themselves funny and cool short poems that are easier to remember and read in 5 seconds. :-)

Problems multiply exponentially
Increasing the load on the heart,
But I don't get depressed
In prostration, because I am.

Wake up in the morning, just
take a sip of sour pickle,
scrape the stubble from your face -
and pack your bag for school.

How cute and different you are
to everyone with whom he was closely acquainted,
gait, voice, legs, mug -
Yes, I love you Anton.

I don't need sun or clouds
You are the only one I need in this world.
I'll give you a wrench
Twenty-two by twenty-four.

Mistakes of youth easily get away with.
Ah, youth, - the magical sound of the flute.
We often sawed branches under us.
Now we are not the same, and the bitches have grown old.

When you look in the purse
Where instead of money is a pile of dust,
Don't say sadly: No! ,
But with gratitude: Were! .

Morning melted in fog
The reeds rustled.
Graceful like deer
Drunks were walking across the field.

Where are you going? I'm going to the doctor.
And what are you carrying? My urine.
Where are you going, weirdo?
And I'm going to the doctor, I'm bringing cognac.
Puzzle yourself with a question
Who can help the doctor.

Don't be ashamed of your bad habits.
Smoking, wine, impulses of passion,
Of course, they shorten life, -
But they can prolong moments of happiness.

The hat fell into a cold snowdrift.
Left shoe behind the beer booth.
The cloak is forgotten, put somewhere in the wardrobe.
March. I'm lying. I feel sad.

Plumber Vasya. Thirty years.
Doesn't drink. Doesn't smoke cigarettes.
Don't take girls to the movies.
And I haven't eaten ham for a long time.
Not because he is an ascetic,
And because there is no money.

There are women in Russian villages,
They are affectionately called women.
Elephant on the move will be stopped
And his trunk will be torn off.

The body becomes ill
Buy an enema comrade
You will understand, comrade, personally,
The enema works great!

A cobra curled up under the glass
Looks askance, unkind
Visible at a glance
Little brain - a lot of poison!

The lines are knitted into a rhyme,
The sea licks the land
Children poop in a potty
And big - in the soul.

Sometimes it gets so ugly
That even tea does not go down the throat,
And only beer climbs into the throat,
Which you drink vodka with.

Sometimes you wake up like a bird
Winged spring cocked
And I want to live and work!
But by breakfast it's gone...

Over the gray plain of the sea,
over a steep hump of rocks,
the petrel soared proudly
and threw on the rocks cal.

Fat penguin is very angry
that unfulfilled dreams
he cannot, though a bird,
proudly poop from a height

If you take colored paper
Pen, scissors and glue
And a little more courage
You can make a hundred rubles

No matter how, without getting your hands dirty with murders,
With eyes as clear as summer skies
Packs of money to be loaded into suitcases
And that there was nothing for it ...

Sometimes you wake up like a bird
Winged spring cocked.
And I want to live and work,
But by breakfast, it's gone.

The bullshit is different
Green and red
But the most dangerous
Garbage green-red.

At the end of the century, he took and overthrew
Evil person a kind person.
From a grenade launcher - slap him, a goat!
Therefore, good is stronger than evil.

"Lada" call "Mercedes"
It's unlikely to bring good luck
In the meantime, I'm watching with interest
Will it be different with the Police...

Adapted to life
Our mighty people.
Where there is nothing to shave -
Nobody lives there!

My phone rang:
— Who is speaking?
- Elephant.
Then the geese called...
When will they let me go?

Where are you going?
I'm going to the doctor.
And what are you carrying?
My urine!
Where are you going, weirdo?
And I'm going to the doctor, I'm bringing cognac.
Ask yourself a question:
Who can help a doctor?

I'll get up early in the morning
I'll look at the face.
I won't drink anymore!
But also less...

I'll get up early in the morning
I'll drink a jar of mercury
And I'm going to die
At this institute...

The wisest bird in the world - an owl
He knows everything, but is very stingy with words.
The more he learns, the less he talks
As this lecturer, damn it, is not enough.

I have a rat in my pocket!
I found her in the forest!
She's wet and bald!
I'm bringing it to you!

If an adult mouse
Take and carefully hold
Stuff it with needles
You will receive a hedgehog.

If this hedgehog
Stopping your nose so you can't breathe
Where deeper, throw into the river
You will receive a ruff.

If this ruff
Holding his head in a vise,
Stronger pull the tail
You will get a snake.

If this already
Having prepared two knives ...
However, he'll probably die.
But the idea is good!

One day the wife says to her husband:
- Remember, dear, we have one daughter!
When grooms come to our house
And they ask me for her hands with you,
That needs to be said, almost always,
With dignity, only one word "YES"!
Not at all the way you do it.
From his stupidity and simplicity
Before the groom, falling on his knees,
Kiss his hands tenderly
And like a prisoner, not like a parent,
You shout: "O our liberator! ..."

How many good girls
How many affectionate names.
And I got it with a vile mug,
And with a nasty name - Anton.

What kind of torment is this anyway?
Rushing for beer at the speed of sound
Knowing at the same time that someone and somewhere,
Rushing for beer at the speed of light.

If the girl is free
If the girl is beautiful
If a girl with taste
If the girl is smart...
Fussing uselessly -
She will make the choice!

In each pretty girl,
In every shy paw,
May be hidden somewhere
Great-grandmother's nasty genes.

Do not envy a friend if a friend is richer
If a friend is more beautiful, if he is smarter.
May his prosperity, may his good luck
Your sandals won't have the straps worn off.

Little Petya in lamer chat
He declared his love to the girl Katya.
waiting an unpleasant surprise cavalier -
"Girl Katya" was the boy Valera.

My girlfriend loves cats very much,
Rats, canaries, dogs, parrots.
I'm not ready to share her tastes,
Chinese food scares me.

I'm leaving - I said proudly -
People like you, I'll find to hell!
Go - she calmly told me ... -
Nobody is holding you by the horns.

Once again quarreling with his wife,
I was ready to kill her
And turning straight to God
I decided to ask him

Tell me, Lord, where
Of these sweet, gentle Maidens,
What give us their smiles
And the happiness of sweet pleasures,

Women take what they can
grumbling non-stop,
Grumble, mope and be offended
And run endlessly.

I want this, and tomorrow this,
No, it's not like that! And it's not that!
And God answered, without hesitation,
Blame yourself! Your everything!

I am in endless surprise
Forgetting about shyness and honor,
He exclaimed - "Oh my God, where,
The Woman takes all this!?”

And I understood God's plan
And appreciated the subtle humor!
When the truth is simple to me
With a bitter smile, HE opened it.

And descended to an explanation -
You have to blame yourself for everything!
After all, girls are my creations,
And you make women...

I have never met a nicer man:
Handsome, charming, very smart
And every morning for no reason
From the mirror he smiles at me!

Icicles are cut with a laser, Snowflakes stick into the face.
Will I run to the stop, Without drowning my boots in the snow?
And at home a plate is waiting for me, A plate of buckwheat with white bula;
There is a rubber warmer in the legs, And soft tapas under the chair.
There are two herrings in the iron bath, A bed with a pitchfork protrudes from there.
There is a glass and a bottle of water, She finished my dinner.
I'll put brews in a circle, I'll open Shevcheny's "Kobzar" -
A poet like Petrara
And Valentina Matviena.

// September 6, 2011 // Hits: 183,991

In the morning at Tatyana's school
My head was hurting.
And he and his girlfriend Ira
We drank some beer.
After the fifth glass
The headmistress caught them.
Tanya got angry
And because it was
In the state of a subject -
Then she was sent by her mother.
The director started
In general, the fight began.
Well, somehow there drunk
They broke Tatyana's nose.
Yes, and the eye is blackened,
And her heart hurts
Tanya without warning
The guy left on Sunday.
Later Tanya went home
The ball was carried in front of her.
There were few failures
Dropped a ball into the river.
Short funny poems to cheer up at work.

I came, she lay
Asked she gave.
Don't think bad
Cigarette from the table.

My husband came home from work angry.
Kicked the cat in the back.
Parrot Coquette
He slammed the cage door.
Son: - Come here, son!
Show me your diary!
Daughter! Take off your crap!
You can still see it, oh my!
Mother-in-law: - Mom, we've been away!
They would roll their own into Muhosransk!
He barked at his wife: - Eat!
Dissolved, your mother!
Spewed his poison on everyone,
And calmly lay down in bed.
Everyone was tiptoeing
In the morning everyone forgave him.
Vasily the cat did not forgive -
He put a bunch in slippers.

funny poems with humor

I sit in the subway, I look at the newspaper.
Not seeing that the old woman is standing nearby.
Experience love! And loving your neighbor
Read the newspaper aloud, not to yourself!

Drowsy grandfather lived in the world
Boring, strict, burdensome
On the bench he sat
Yes, looking at the sun
But once in this yard
Some thief peeked in.
Sees nothing to steal
And grab your grandfather in the bag!
Where is that drowsy grandfather now,
Boring, strict, burdensome
It got boring without him
I don't look out the window now!

You can live and not fall in love
A little love for everyone.
Try to deceive everyone
But don't be deceived!

It's good to have a man
To clean the house
Cooked soup, drove a car
And he gave me a salary.
It's good to have a man
To make you laugh until colic
Sang songs, painted pictures
And he took me to the concert hall.
It's good to have a man
To trust secrets
And at least half of the problems
To be able to solve it.
It's good to have a man
To tirelessly love
He took me to Athens to rest,
Fur coats and flowers gave.
It's good to have a husband
Both a fan and a friend.
But so that life does not get worse,
Don't introduce them to each other!

Short humorous poems

Sat at the dressing table in the morning
And she asked him:
“Am I the sweetest in the world,
All blush and whiter?
And a mirror in response to me:
Are you crazy at 50?

The goat decided to get married.
The idea itself is good.
But here's the problem, it's always like that,
After all, you need to choose a groom.
Here you need an unmarried guy,
Handsome, smart and rich
Tall, slender, hardworking,
Simple, non-drinker, non-smoker.
So that he does not look for a soul in a goat,
So as not to growl, not howl, not bark,
To wear cabbage every day,
Caviar, lobster and lobster.
It remains from such positions
To sort out all the animals and birds to her.
The lion is too lazy, imposing,
The eagle is overly proud and important,
The elephant is fat, bald and eared,
The bear is a dork and a terrible boor.
Why does she need such suitors? -
They don't even have horns.
Then the deer are considered,
Walruses, giraffes and seals,
Grasshoppers, beetles, leeches,
And even small goats.
Well, in a word, I touched everyone.
But she still married a goat.

Where are you going?
I'm going to the doctor!
What are you carrying?
My urine!
Where are you going, weirdo?
And I bring cognac to the doctor!
Myself puzzled by a question:
Who can get help from a doctor?

All the best and positive mood in that beautiful evening! If you are a lover of positive and humor and do not mind laughing heartily while reading funny rhymes We have prepared this post especially for you. Today we decided to put the coolest, funny and short poems on various topics. They will not only cheer you up, but also charge you with positive after a busy day. Don't miss the opportunity to recharge good mood. Read these funny poems, send them to your friends to give them a little positive too. Happy and pleasant evening everyone!

If you take colored paper
Pen, scissors and glue
And a little more courage
You can make a hundred rubles.

No matter how, without getting your hands dirty with murders,
With eyes as clear as summer skies
Packs of money to be loaded into suitcases
And that there was nothing for it ...

Sometimes you wake up like a bird
Winged spring cocked.
And I want to live and work,
But by breakfast, it's gone.

The bullshit is different
Green and red
But the most dangerous
Garbage green-red.

At the end of the century, he took and overthrew
Evil person Good person.
From a grenade launcher - slap him, the goat!
Therefore, good is stronger than evil.

"Lada" call "Mercedes"
It's unlikely to bring good luck
In the meantime, I'm watching with interest
Will it be different with the Police...

Adapted to life
Our mighty people.
Where there is nothing to shave -
Nobody lives there!

My phone rang:
- Who's talking?
- Elephant.
Then the geese called...
When will they let me go?

I'll get up early in the morning
I'll look at the face.
I won't drink anymore!
But also less...

I'll get up early in the morning
I'll drink a jar of mercury
And I'm going to die
At this institute...

The wisest bird in the world - an owl
He knows everything, but is very stingy with words.
The more he learns, the less he talks
As this lecturer, damn it, is not enough.

How many good girls
How many affectionate names.
And I got it with a vile mug,
And with a nasty name - Anton.

What kind of torment is this anyway?
Rushing for beer at the speed of sound
Knowing at the same time that someone and somewhere,
Rushing for beer at the speed of light.

If the girl is free
If the girl is beautiful
If a girl with taste
If the girl is smart...
Fussing is useless -
She will make the choice!

In every pretty girl
In every shy paw,
May be hidden somewhere
Great-grandmother's nasty genes.

Do not envy a friend if a friend is richer
If a friend is more beautiful, if he is smarter.
May his prosperity, may his good luck
Your sandals won't have the straps worn off.

Little Petya in lamer chat
He declared his love to the girl Katya.
Waiting for an unpleasant surprise gentleman -
"Girl Katya" was the boy Valera.

My girlfriend loves cats very much,
Rats, canaries, dogs, parrots.
I'm not ready to share her tastes,
Chinese food scares me.

I'm leaving - I said proudly -
People like you, I'll find to hell!
Go - she calmly told me ... -
Nobody is holding you by the horns.