Why are so many people getting divorced in Russia lately, what are the main reasons? The main reasons that lead to divorce in modern families

IN Lately in most countries of the post-Soviet space, such a social phenomenon as divorce has become the norm. Many marriages fail for various reasons. The state is trying to reduce the number of divorces by creating various programs to support families, and psychologists are trying to figure out why discord occurs.

Divorce statistics in Russia in recent years

According to official statistics, Russia last years is one of the leaders in the number of divorces. The highest percentage of cases of dissolution of the union in relation to the number of marriages was recorded in 2002 - more than 83%. With the passage of time, the number of divorcees has become slightly less. So, in 2008-2009. about 60% of married couples divorced.

The smallest number of breakups occurred in 2011 - just over half. However, in recent years this figure is about 60%. In 2017, 58% of families divorced - this figure is slightly less than in the previous 2016 (61%). However, a slight decrease in the number of divorces does not make this figure less daunting.

Common causes of divorce in Russia

In order to find out why families break up, various opinion polls and studies are conducted. Polls Russian citizens, more than half of the breakups are due to the addictions of one of the spouses.

The second place among the reasons for the dissolution of marriage is the lack of own housing. The third and fourth positions are assigned to material problems and disappointments in the second half.

Spouse alcoholism

Excessive alcohol consumption is main reason termination of unions in about 40% of cases. People addicted to alcohol, as a rule, do not recognize that their love for strong drinks brings suffering to loved ones.

Many men are addicted to alcohol. Often, couples get divorced not because of the drinking itself, but because of the behavior of the spouse after a noisy feast. A woman can endure bad attitude to your person. However, she does not tolerate the insults caused to children.

Often the spouse herself pushes her other half to alcohol. The wife does not provide her husband with moral support, which is why he is looking for relaxation from friends. Many families can be saved from disintegration when spouses turn to specialists in a timely manner. However, in Russian society there is an opinion that it is shameful to turn to a psychologist or narcologist.

Housing problem

Divorces due to dissatisfaction with housing conditions are more likely to occur for the following reasons:

fictitious divorce in order to obtain an apartment;
insecurity of the family with normal living conditions.

In the first case, the spouses can continue family relationships after the divorce. Some families take such a step in order to receive preferential housing or join a program to provide state support.

However, many families break up due to the fact that they cannot buy or rent comfortable housing. Living in rented apartments or with relatives leads to conflicts due to domestic disorder. Sometimes one of the spouses, in an effort to improve living conditions finds a more "profitable" partner.

Some citizens initially marry because the spouse owns a large living space or is able to purchase a home. An autopsy of the selfish intentions of the second half leads to the dissolution of the marriage.

Financial difficulties

When entering into marriage, many newlyweds do not think that the maintenance of the family requires significant effort. financial question escalates significantly when married couple children appear. The constant shortage of funds leads to frequent conflicts. The woman demands from the man material support and the husband is often unable to increase his earnings.

Quarrels arise, leading to mutual accusations. The wife believes that the husband is not making enough efforts to increase earnings. Men often accuse their spouse of excessive extravagance. What is the probability of saving the marriage? It is possible to save a marriage if the spouses learn to hear each other and try to properly distribute the available budget.

Quite often, separations due to financial insolvency occur among young people who got married in early age. They are used to being provided by their parents and have not learned to live independently. Parting in adulthood due to lack of finances, I happen when one of the spouses gets tired of independently bearing the burden of a breadwinner.

Loss of feelings

Marriage at an early age or after a short relationship are the main reasons for divorce due to the fading of passion (see also:). Young couples can confuse physical attraction with real feelings. However, even real love does not always stand the test of family life. Over the years, certain well-established relationships are formed in the family, and a loved one ceases to be a mystery that you want to solve.

Routine and routine can lead to divorce even for mature family men. Few spouses understand that saving a marriage is in their power. Sometimes it is enough to diversify the relationship, to change outwardly - and the marriage will be saved.

However, the emergence of a new passion for another person in one of the spouses often leads to discord. The jealousy of the deceived half only accelerates the breakdown of family relationships.

Sadly, but divorce in modern world is the norm rather than the exception to the rule. In 2015, the number of broken families approached 80%! On this moment The statistics also look rather disappointing: in 2016, there were 52.9 divorces per 100 marriages in Russia. Demographers sounded the alarm and began to look for the reasons for such negative indicators. The explanation for this was found in the fact that the time has come to create a family for boys and girls born in the early crisis of the 90s, who were distinguished by low birth rates and a large number of dysfunctional families. But can this be called true? Why do people get divorced without fear of losing such a saving landmark as a family? What drives them to take this step? Why do people expect a divorce, why do they not look for other ways?

Reasons for divorce in Russia

As a result of numerous sociological surveys, experts have compiled a list of the main reasons for divorce.

In the first place is the addiction of one of the partners to alcohol or drugs - 41%.
Due to the lack of their own housing, about 26% of married couples get divorced.
14% of marriages are destroyed due to the interference of relatives in family life.
The inability to have a child does not give the opportunity to build a strong and happy family 8% of spouses.
long separation provokes 6% of divorces.
The presence of one of the partners in places of deprivation of liberty destroyed 2% of families.
As a result of a long-term illness of the spouse, 1% of couples broke up.

But the main percentage of the above causes is just the tip of the iceberg. Everyday problems, unsettled housing, the appearance of a child, a big difference aged, the banal “they didn’t get along” do not indicate the need for a divorce, but the inability of the spouses to compromise and together look for ways out of difficult situations. Statistics statistics, but how are things with psychological point vision? Why do families break up? Psychologists identify the main and main root cause that pushes young couples to break up relationships - this is unpreparedness (more correctly, unpreparedness) for family life.

Why people get divorced: the psychological aspect

There is an opinion that there is only one reason for divorce - the unpreparedness of people for family life. All other reasons are just reasons. This problem is not expressed in the inability of a woman to cook borscht, iron shirts, bake pies, and men - to hammer nails, screw in light bulbs, earn money.

This is the unwillingness of both to seek compromises, ignorance of the psychology of the sexes, rejection of oneself and the struggle with one's complexes and incorrect life attitudes through another person.

It is easier to leave by slamming the door than to try to understand why the partner did this and not otherwise. As a result, the accumulated grievances develop into a mutual settling of scores. Often the situation is further complicated by the struggle for leadership in relationships, or, conversely, by a situation where each of the partners does not want to part with the role of a child and take responsibility for the decisions made.

Hence, as a consequence, there are already more real reasons for a divorce. Sexual dissatisfaction between partners is more acute, which ends with a visit not to a sex therapist, but to the courtroom. The incompatibility of views and characters is transformed into a man's craving for a bottle and his wife's betrayal. Often there are situations with manifestations of male aggression towards his wife and children, once the most beloved and close people. If one of the spouses has a way of retreat, then such a marriage can be called doomed. How to cope with the consequences of once committed mistakes? How to learn to understand a partner? Is it possible to restore the family after crisis situations Or is it better not to glue a broken cup? In order to answer these questions, it is worth paying attention to unofficial statistics and trying to understand what men and women cannot forgive and what they lack in marriage.

Why people get divorced: male and female perspectives

For all men, the biggest reason for divorce is the wife's infidelity. This is followed by such arguments as selfish motives, drunkenness and drug addiction of a woman. The representatives of the stronger sex are also not ready to endure forever the constant quarrels and "pilezh" on the part of the spouse. Men who are in their first marriage are especially susceptible to criticism.

Lack of common interests, different outlooks on life, new love, the refusal of the spouse to make love, the tacit consent of the woman to the intervention of her parents in the life of the family, the absence of love feelings even before marriage - these reasons for divorce are also called by men quite often. by the most rare causes dissolution of marriage male side are: loss of love, infertility of the wife, negative attitude women to her husband's parents, pressure on a man with attempts to change his appearance.

For ladies in a relationship, physical abuse of her or children is primarily considered unacceptable. Sufficiently significant reasons for divorce are drunkenness, drug addiction and infidelity of the husband. This is followed by a lack of desire to be responsible for financial stability in the family, the selfishness of the husband, a bad attitude towards the child from his first marriage (by the way, for men this is a significant reason for breaking off relations). Women rarely regret a divorce in cases where it was preceded by a lack of common interests and inattention on the part of a man. A woman is hurt quite badly by a situation when she wants a child, and her husband is not ready for such a serious step and insists on an abortion. But the constant refusal of a man from sexual relations and the loss of love is rarely mentioned by women as the reason for the breakup. It is curious that the situation when a husband forbids his wife to work and / or forces her to go on strict diets is perceived by a woman as the norm and practically does not lead to divorce.

As you can see, the reasons for divorce for both men and women are almost the same, only the priorities are set differently. If for a man in the first place is the infidelity of his wife, then a woman first of all expects respect and protection from the male side.

What do people miss in marriage?

Based on the above facts, you can make a kind of hit parade of qualities that men expect from the fair sex:

Loyalty.
Understanding and acceptance of a man with all his shortcomings.
Availability common views on life and interest in his person.
Sexual attractiveness and compatibility with a partner.
Respect.
Desire and ability to have children.

A woman wants to get in a relationship with a man:

A sense of security and self-respect.
Loyalty from the spouse.
Financial security (not to be confused with self-interest).
Selfless love.
The desire of a man to have children and take part in their upbringing.
community of interests.
Sexual Compatibility.

It is worth noting that people who once went through the divorce procedure and were not afraid to remarry become less categorical and are ready to forgive their half a little. more flaws than would have been forgiven in the first relationship. Of course, there are situations when it is not possible to save the family. These are the cases family violence, excessive passion for alcohol or gambling in one of the partners, hasty marriages without love. But how often do we meet them in life, if the initial decision to marry was conscious and thoughtful? Most will agree that thoughts of divorce most often occur in the mind during periods of extreme fatigue and dissatisfaction with life in general. Often it is not the partner who is to blame for our problems, but we ourselves. In his unwillingness to look at himself from the outside and be a little more tolerant and attentive to his other half. So is it worth it to go through the trials and sorrows of the gap. Reassessment and transformation of values can be done less painfully.

One has only to understand that marriage is not only about maintaining a common life, regular sex and common children. This is hard work - everyday, persistent and necessarily joint. Every problem has its root cause, every impasse has a way out. The main thing is to find common ground with a partner and look at yourself through his eyes. Marriage is love, respect, the desire to understand and accept the other half, it is a struggle with one's own weaknesses and humility with other people's shortcomings, this is the desire to find common interests and work together on their relationship.

In recent years, Russia continues to lead the world in terms of the number of divorces. The divorce rate in our country is as much as 57%, while in Canada this figure is 48%, the USA - 46%, France - 38%, and the last place is occupied by Japan, where the divorce rate is 27%. “Almost every second marriage is doomed to failure,” sociologists report. Is it true that “every family is unhappy in its own way”, as the classic said? Or is it still possible to identify common motives for divorce?

Divorce is the problem of the century

Turning to statistics, it is easy to see that even 10 years ago every third marriage was terminated, and today this figure in Russia has decreased to 2. Suffice it to give an example: in 2003, 1,225,501 official consolidations of the union were made, of which 667,971 were already divorced, and this is 54.5%. Every year, the difference between the number of marriages and their dissolution is shrinking, and the popularity of registered relationships is falling. There is an explanation for this statistic: at the moment, marriageable age for those born in the 90s. As you know, during these years there was a demographic decline, the consequences of which we are still seeing, and many families were considered disadvantaged at that time. But this is far from the only reason for the divorce of modern families.

Categories of Leading Causes of Divorce

The family and marriage are influenced by many reasons and factors: these are social, personal, and political. Religion, upbringing, characters, traditions, ideology, personal goals of each of the partners can serve as a reason for divorce. What can be a valid argument and reason for dissolution of marriage cannot be answered unambiguously. Each family has its own difficulties, and their consequences are always different. However, there are several categories of the main causes of divorce:

Premature reckless marriage. One of common causes why people get divorced is a rash decision to get married. Many young people, having no idea about married life, rush to the registry office, and over time they see that their expectations from life together failed and there is only one way out - divorce.
Change of one of the partners. Adultery is also one of the most popular reasons for divorce. Statistically, it is the man who is most often the traitor. And if the betrayal of her husband can be understood, then it is unlikely that it will be possible to forgive, because. the weaker sex overly emotional. Poverty and betrayal are the most popular reasons for divorce in Russia. But the reason for the betrayal of a spouse can be many factors, here are some of them:
- Looking for adventure, new sensations. Over time, relationships can get bored, the usual measured married life can be dyed into gray colors, and the partner goes in search of thrill without thinking about the consequences.
- New love of one of the partners.
- Sexual dissatisfaction. Lack of regular intimacy can push your "half" to seek adventure on the side, and the consequences are a good reason for divorce.
- Revenge. Trying to restore your self-esteem by paying back your cheating husband “in the same coin” is unlikely to help strengthen your marriage. And the consequences will not keep you waiting.
The birth of a child, especially in young families. Any couple needs time to “grind” to each other. Why young couples with a child get divorced is quite obvious. After all, the appearance of a new family member in a still unformed unit of society can cause additional stress and trouble, and eventually becomes the cause of divorce. The consequences will not be the best, both for the spouses and for the child. By the way, the presence minor child is one of the reasons for divorce through the court.
Character incompatibility. Husband wants to go to football at the weekend, and you want to go to the theater? This may begin to suggest the thought: “did you choose the right spouse?” Different views spouses for life, various eating habits, dissimilarity of tastes in literature, various social status spouses are common causes of divorce in modern families.
Everyday problems. Socks scattered on the floor, garbage not thrown out during the time, dinner not prepared for the return of the husband from work, uncleaned apartment - no matter how funny, can serve as a good reason for constant quarrels, and if the partners are too emotional, then this can be a reason for divorce.
Marriage of convenience, including to solve the housing issue. One of the reasons for divorce is the pursuit of mercenary goals by one of the spouses: for financial gain or for the sake of obtaining an apartment.
Interference of relatives in the life of spouses. Moreover, if you live in the same apartment with relatives of your "half", then this cannot be avoided for sure. More mature and wise parents always think they know everything better than honeymooners and are in a hurry to "climb" where they shouldn't be, to give advice, instead of letting the young family sort things out on their own. Therefore, the intervention of parents and other relatives becomes the reason why people get divorced.
The struggle for leadership in the family. The husband supports his wife or the spouse earns more than her man - be sure that your missus will not miss the opportunity to remind you of this in the midst of another quarrel.
Addictions of one of the spouses: alcoholism or drug addiction. They can make the family life of partners unbearable. In Russia, they are one of the frequent reasons for divorce. The culprit is often a man who is unable to fight addiction.
Financial difficulties. Financial problems arise in any family, but for young couples they can become an insoluble circumstance and serve as an example of why people get divorced.
Problems of intimacy. They can also be grounds for divorce. They consist in the dissatisfaction of one or both spouses. The inability or unwillingness to discuss problems in this area with a partner can often be a reason for divorce, even in long-term marriages. It is worth noting that 37% of the men surveyed are ready to divorce for this reason, while only 9% of women consider this a sufficient motive for divorce.
Too early or late age marriage. Many young guys, not having enough life experience, and not able to appreciate all the advantages and disadvantages of a partner, are in a hurry to get married. They like to spend time together, have a common social life: trips to discos, parties, cinema. Such couples do not think about the consequences of coexistence in Everyday life. And only after the wedding, all the shortcomings of both spouses are revealed. The median age for marriage is 22 for women and 24 for men.
couple infertility. Many modern families cite the inability to have children as the reason for divorce. Often, instead of contacting specialists, spouses apply for a divorce to the court.
Emotional immaturity of one of the partners. For the most part, it occurs among young couples, and the reason for this is a banal unpreparedness for marriage. Most often it manifests itself in men, and therefore so many changes occur in the male share of the population.

Surprisingly, in most highly developed countries, the reasons for divorce are for the most part the same. However, every divorce has its own reasons.

What other factors can cause divorce?

There are many reasons why people get divorced. But no one can say that having lived a sufficient number of years in marriage, it will not come to trial and divorce. In support of this, one more interesting statistic can be cited.

By years of marriage, as a percentage, divorces fall out as follows:

up to 1 year - 3.6%
from 1 to 2 years - 16%
from 3 to 4 years - 18%
from 5 to 9 years old - 28%
from 10 to 19 years old - 22%
from 20 years and more - 12.4%.

Also, according to sociological research, a more responsible period in family life is the age of spouses from 20 to 30 years. Marriages concluded before the age of 30 are about 2 times more durable than marriages registered to spouses already over 30 years old.

This is due to the fact that it is much more difficult for people over 30 to rebuild themselves to the requirements of a new spouse, it is more difficult to get used to living together.

The age at which most divorces fall is between 18 and 35 years of age. Moreover, the majority of respondents divorced at the age of 25 and above.

It should also be noted that in different age categories Divorce can be initiated by both men and women. To a greater extent, women under the age of 50 initiate divorces. While after 50 they become men. There is a simple explanation for why this is happening. Spouses over 50 years old, as a rule, already have adult children, which means that it will be possible to get a divorce without the participation of the court, in the absence of common property and the spouse does not have to pay child support.

Indication of the reason for the dissolution of the marriage in the application

Why you filed for divorce may be listed different reasons. In Russia, the divorce procedure is quite simple. You can get a divorce in court or the registry office by filing an application with the appropriate authority.

In 64% of cases, the divorced court offers to consider their decision and gives a month for this. Unfortunately, only about 7% of spouses take the divorce application.

The main reasons for divorce, which are indicated in the applications:

Family life did not work out;
Did not get along;
Exist marital relations with another person;
Long-term separation;
Family conflicts.

In any case, divorce is a deep family drama that will not be easy for either party to survive. It is especially difficult for children to endure the divorce of their parents. Most terrible consequence divorce - the fact that the child will have to grow up in defective family. After all, the child does not understand why his parents do not want to be together anymore. Whatever the reasons for divorce, it's worth weighing the pros and cons before making a hasty decision. And if there is even the slightest chance to try to save the marriage, you should certainly use it. Remember, no matter what you get divorced for, both spouses are always to blame.

Not only Russians.
But if we talk specifically about the Russians, I can name the following most everyday and most common reasons that I encountered in life and that my colleagues spoke about:

A sudden marriage “on hormones”, when they are in love with life, I can’t, and they get married, not really knowing anything about each other. Then the hormones subside sooner or later, the haze subsides a little, and you have to deal not with the shining ideal of femininity (or masculinity in the case of a man), but with a real woman who has a character - often not quite suitable - bad habits and plans which are in no way consistent with the plans of the spouse. In general, a lot of particulars and details come up that, during a stormy love, either I didn’t think about, or they seemed trifling and easily corrected, because. all nonsense against the backdrop of Feelings. But it turns out that it’s not nonsense at all, and it’s not so easy to agree, and often it’s impossible at all.
- Marriage of convenience, the technique of "endure, fall in love." It will not endure and will not fall in love - it has been tested by the experience of millions of sufferers. Get married or marry for money/status/opportunity - Bad sign. Someone, in principle, manages to live with one for years, and fall in love regularly with others. And someone gets married with the intention of getting a divorce in a year in order to sue more benefits.
- marriage on "aerial flight". A child is not glue or a psychotherapist. A child is a big responsibility.
- infantilism of one or - worse - both partners. Early marriage used to be the norm. young families most often lived together with their husband's relatives and were subjected to vigilant control by the older generation. So the number of errors is greatly reduced. Now, early marriages and an early desire to live like an adult, alas, in most cases end with the understanding that the spouse was chosen incorrectly, that experience for right choice it was not enough that both still do not know what to do in life, who they are and what they generally need. In the event of a conflict, all problems are thrown at each other and throw responsibility to each other, like a ping-pong ball. And yet, while young, I want to try everything, have fun, walk, travel, meet new people .. It is rarely possible to build a family on such a shaky foundation.
- inability to earn. Love does not bring in itself any income and often disappears when it seems to be most needed. Sometimes both do not have clear career goals, as well as the desire to change something, and salaries remain the same over the years. Sometimes a couple can't even afford a home loan, but having a baby that drains all the family's savings makes living in a constant austerity regime proving an impossible task. And when a spouse loses his job or business, very often the second spouse, instead of supporting, simply leaves.
- the partner's falling in love with another person, which often occurs as a result of one of the above factors, but it also happens for completely different reasons.

Everything is quite individual. It was exactly the same before, with the only difference that divorce was not encouraged by society, the Internet did not exist, and people did not know that they could just take and get a divorce. Now, with the spread of psychology, people have understood one thing: instead of fighting through closed gates for years, it is better to leave and try to find your happiness in another, more suitable place. The approach is a little irresponsible, hedonistic, but allows people to change their lives faster and suffer much less.

Recently, the number of divorces is growing at an incredible progression. At the moment, more than 50% of registered marriages are breaking up in Russia.

Why, when a couple is just starting to meet, everything is just fine? They care about each other, value the opinion of their partner, respect his preferences and personal space. When disagreements arise, young people are very worried, they try to somehow improve their relationship, to make peace.

Why does it disappear over time? After the wedding, the husband and wife no longer try to work on their relationship, they let everything take its course. The result is a divorce. Let's try to understand why this happens and look at 10 reasons why people get divorced.

No trust. It is not in vain that we put the lack of trust in 1st place, as this is one of the main reasons for divorces. Oddly enough, getting rid of this problem can be easy and simple. You just need to remember to show your partner love and care, to say how much he means to you. If you want to say something, speak right away, do not wait for the right moment. Very often, women lose confidence in their husbands after the birth of a child. For some reason, they think that after giving birth, men turn to them less attention. Of course, this is quite possible if a woman stops caring for herself. But if you value yourself, value your relationship, stop suspecting your partner of all sins.
The low value of marriage for society. Many young people who grew up in an incomplete family believe that marriage is nonsense. The importance and value of marriage, which was once considered a symbol of decency and nobility, is now just a trifle. Couples can be in an unregistered relationship for a long time, and sometimes even have children, without getting married.
Financial difficulties. Believe it or not, people who earn a high and stable income are more likely to keep a family than those whose income is average or below average. People don't want to admit it, but money matters. Where there is not enough money, people get nervous, disappointed in their partners and in life in general.
Perception of the partner "for granted". Surely, you have spent a lot of time in order to win your partner. But why do all your attraction efforts end after marriage? If you are not trying to be attractive to your soul mate, there is a good chance that he will start looking for someone on the side.
Too hasty marriage. Many people in our world are afraid that they will spend their lives alone. Therefore, as soon as an option appears on the horizon that will help solve these fears, the girls are immediately ready to run to the registry office. However, do not rush into this issue. It is better to know a person, his character and habits before you legitimize relations with him.
Alcohol and drug addiction. In addition to these ailments, this also includes inhuman behavior and gambling. In general, any action that can be called an addiction.
Lack of sex and cheating. Lack of sex and passion in a marriage can often lead to divorce. Marriages are built on a solid foundation of healthy intimacy. If it does not exist, you should seek the advice of a specialist. Such problems are easily solved with the help of a psychologist. Actually, just like adultery. Of course, this is a serious blow to relationships, but thanks to the timely help of a specialist, this blow does not always lead to a divorce.
Outside interference. Husband and wife should make it clear to their relatives and friends that they are a full-fledged unit of society, which itself can cope with all difficulties. Do not allow parents to provide unhealthy influence to your family relationships.
Past fears in relationships. Try to leave all the fears and bad experiences from relationships with a former young man in the past, do not drag them along with you. Open up for your partner, do not suspect him of all the mistakes of the past passion.
Marriage is not for love. Most people get married because of pressure from family and relatives, but this should not be the case. Many simply see how their friends get married, so they try to jump on the departing train as soon as possible. Some people get married because of premarital pregnancy. Young couples are immature, unable to grasp the full meaning and responsibility that comes with marriage. When everything falls into place, and they realize that there is no love, they begin to think about ending the relationship.

Don't make divorce decisions in the heat of the moment. Marriage is not a room that you can easily walk in and out of. This is what should keep you together forever. Of course, it requires patience, understanding, trust, effective communication, healthy physical and emotional relationships and most importantly, love and care for each other.