Creating a happy family. How to create a happy family

There is never too much in family life happiness. And even if life is established, everything is fine in it, and it flows as usual, we are constantly trying to find some kind of flaw in our relationship with our beloved woman. We torture ourselves with baseless suspicions and unfounded guesses. As a result, we come to mutual distrust. We stop understanding each other. If we are afraid to say out loud what is eating us deep inside, then over time, unvoiced thoughts turn into hidden grievances.

In order to create strong family, you need to learn to think less only of your own own needs and think more about how your wife feels and what she wants. If there is no equal return on your part, your family will soon collapse, despite the fact that you really love each other very much. Love is the main condition for creating a strong, happy family. And this feeling can survive for many years, but it must be constantly nourished and cherished, like a beautiful and delicate flower, which can wither if neglected. It is impossible to think that if one person loves another, then he can forgive him everything and do everything for him.

The feeling of love for each other is manifested, first of all, in the attention given to your partner. For any woman, this is of paramount importance. Some women even live with men they have never been in love with, just because they feel constant sincere attention and care from them. This is especially important when it comes to the person they love. Be careful with your wife, do not forget to ask her about everyday little things, even if it seems optional to you. For example, I constantly ask my wife about how she slept, although I slept next to me and I know perfectly well what her answer will be. Showing attention to your wife is my first rule.

My second main rule, which I use in my relationship with my wife, is the ability to forgive the little mistakes of my beloved. Not on the globe perfect women, as well as men, by the way, too. Every person is capable of making mistakes. Therefore, if you a wise man and want your family union been strong you must learn to forgive. But this does not mean that you should endure everything without a murmur and be silent at all arising conflict situations. If any problem arises, you should discuss it with your wife, and if she did something not the way you would like it, try to understand the reasons for her actions. This is the main thing to understand and forgive.

And I have one more important rule. You must constantly monitor your appearance. You can’t turn into such a too domestic husband who doesn’t give a damn how he looks at home. Remember how you wanted to please your wife, at a time when you were just courting her. Sometimes this can be very great importance, because if you suddenly suddenly become fat or too thin, it can push even the person who loves you away from you. Try not to lose your former form, which once attracted your beloved to you.

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Building a family laborious process in which all participants are involved. The slightest mistake on the one hand can be a source of collapse of family relationships. From this the question arises: “Are the husband, wife and children always a family?”. Perhaps these are cohabitants who live together only because of the circumstances. They come after work, have a quick supper and go to their own bedrooms. So how to create happy family where there is respect, trust and love.

Five Rules for a Successful Existence

There are 5 rules that will serve as a guide for you to create a fruitful cooperation. These rules are designed and thought out for the development of mutual respect and love. After all, without these foundations it is impossible to create a happy family.

Comparing yourself to your partner is unacceptable. Comparison gives each person objective moments of knowledge. But when starting to compare, it is important not to “pull the blanket” on yourself.

If you notice that you are starting to compare yourself with your soulmate, run away from it.

You are different - learn to admire it! Character traits, actions loved one do not always match our ideals. Learn to admire it. Think how good it is that you are slow and your partner reacts quickly to situations.

You learn opposite qualities from each other while enhancing your own. You learn to be more active in life, and your soulmate learns to pause. By admiring our partner, we enrich our inner world.

Help move forward. Relationships often lack mutual support. If you don't know how to create a happy family, learn to support your own spouse. Listen, give advice, look for new ideas and give hints.

Highlight in a partner strengths and exalt them. IN family relationships it is important to feel a person, and for this it is necessary to know how he lives, what worries him.

Learn to agree. Let your consent be sincere. To or 1-2 day resentment in married life one half may agree. But at the same time, the intonation of the phrase is such that everyone understands that you think differently.

In general, the ability to agree with the opinion of the second half is already half of a percent of a sincere relationship. After all, everyone wants to hear an affirmative answer in response to a statement. As a result, a feeling of contentment and security arises in the soul.

If the family often argues, find out who is right, the members also face danger. A person lives in a sense of a dirty trick. Learn to say "Yes" and you will see how the second half becomes softer. Please note that it is not the scale that is important, but agreement with at least part of what is proposed.

Sometimes being right is more important than intimacy in a relationship. People tend to prove themselves right. But at the same time, the feeling of unity and closeness is lost. What is important to you in this evidence? Feel the power and own meaning? Then do you need to be together? Spouses should look for something that is akin to them.

Before defending the rightness, think about what you get from this? Do you want to stay together and build strong relationships or prove the weight of your own voice? Being in a relationship is not a sacrifice of one's own ideals and interests. This is a search for a position when both feel good.

Try not to tell others what to do. After all, at this moment you yourself are faced with a choice. Shift the emphasis to your own side and think in which direction to move. There are no right and wrong in family life. The truth is always in the middle.

How to build a happy marriage?

Some spouses enjoy life together, while the other half of the couples prefer to spend time teaching children and grandchildren. Gives pleasure to some active life, full of drive, others get adrenaline watching their favorite TV shows on a quiet evening. Happiness is different, just like different families.

Family happiness in children

The main factor, both the desire and the fear of starting a family, is the birth of children. The birth of new members of society should not happen by chance. Family relationships are excellent if parents understand their own responsibility.

It is necessary to be aware of what problems will arise, what financial investments will be required. Plan children, taking into account the material and moral situation,. Seek help from couples who already have children and know how to create a happy family. Do not delay childbearing and give yourself the joy of being parents.

If you think having a baby will be an obstacle to education or career growth, take a look around. Hundreds of thousands of families combine study, work and.

Creating a family - finding compromises

There is a lot of work in family relationships and the main task Find a solution that suits both. Consider the interests of your husband or wife. Does he want you to wear a less provocative outfit? Add elegance to everyday wardrobe. Socks or candy wrappers scattered around the house? Teach order.

Parents, friends will not help to find a compromise. Your family is a private matter and you must create peace and comfort on your own. The more you communicate together, the faster you will find a way out of the situation. You decide how to behave, establish a personal space and learn best friend friend.

The first time is hard, but who said it was an easy process? Take it positively. The more you are together, the faster you will learn the advantages and disadvantages. After living in a parental home, it is difficult to accept responsibility and follow new orders.

Learn to bypass petty conflicts and forget grievances. Solve problems in a quiet, trusting environment so that respect for each other lasts a lifetime.

Understanding and forgiveness are the foundation

The ability to listen and accept the position of the second half - important task, by deciding which you will create a happy unit of society. Learn to forgive and not remember grievances so that they do not fall as a heavy burden. Trust and respect will help you interact and get out of the most conflict situations.

Understand what is more important: understanding or constant nit-picking and life in reproaches? Indeed, after a long negativity, a time of disgust may come, when each of the spouses, as if under a microscope, examines the shortcomings and criticizes. In the first years of life, spouses only get to know each other and it is important to be patient at this time.

Do not offend dear person ultimatums or threats of separation. Learn to restrain harsh words and think constructively. This will give weight to the words and create an atmosphere of respect. After all, everyone has flaws and some of them can be reconciled. Think about why you chose your soulmate and evaluate the merits.

Give smiles and praise and you will get the same in return. Everyone is pleased to see with him a person who is satisfied with his life, and not a dull person. By expressing positivity, you energize those around you, creating a happy atmosphere for family life.

What is a happy family based on?

Romantics are pleased to know that the family is an elevated society, where everyone praises and adores their soulmate. And it's a shame to hear that creating a family is work.

Family life can be perceived as a science. To create and maintain a happy family, it is necessary to apply the methods of addition, subtraction. Add passion, jealousy to everyday relationships. Take away hope and give it back. Learn to negotiate so that there is equality and balance in everything. Who performs what duties, who goes first to reconciliation, who gives in more often and who walks with friends less often.

If you really want to learn how to create a happy family, remember that not always. What will replace her? This is up to you. Build you trusting relationship, learn to forgive insults, will you support your partner? It's not about grandiloquent phrases, but about the path that each family chooses.

March 15, 2014

According to statistics, today every third marriage breaks up. Therefore, there are a lot of divorced men with the luggage of family life now. Often women are critical of relationships with such men. Their fears are based on assumptions that something is wrong with the man, that from good husbands women don't leave. In this article, we will help you figure out whether it is worth fearing an affair with a divorced man and starting a family with him.

How to start a family

Having met a man who has a life story behind him with another family, many women ask themselves: how to build relationships with him? To romance and possible marriage with a divorced man was healthy and brought happiness, you need to realize several important points.

Marriage is crumbling By different reasons. For example, one or both spouses neglect their duties: one of them cheats, drinks, or does not want to work. The discrepancy between characters and life orientations, the fading of interest in each other and quarrels on domestic grounds are, although less serious, but common causes divorces. In this regard, you should not be wary and prejudiced against bachelors with experience of an unsuccessful marriage.

How to build a relationship with a divorced man

At the very beginning of your relationship, try to delicately find out reasons for divorce and imagine yourself in the place of a man. And if the reason is in him, then he will blame anyone but himself for the collapse of the marriage. Shifting all the blame to the other side is a very dangerous bell. The choice is yours: accept the person as he is and not try to fix him, or not enter into any relationship with him at all.
If possible, ask his friends, relatives, acquaintances if the reason for the breakup was cruelty on the part of the man, alcoholism, betrayal, refusal to have children and provide for the family. In these cases, it is better to avoid contact with such a person. It will be a stupid mistake for many women to think that the same story will not repeat with them.

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Remember that no matter how unbearable the thought of another family of your chosen one may be for you, you cannot change his past. Even if he wanted it too. If it's hard for you to come to terms with the fact that a man had beloved woman with whom he felt good, it’s better not to even start a relationship.
If it ex-wife still entered into new marriage, be sure that she will constantly need help in performing some male work. Don't think she's asking for it ex-husband to annoy you. She just got used to relying on him in these matters.

Wise and mature man able to maintain normal friendly relations with ex-wife. Here you need to rejoice, and not pull the blanket over yourself. Only right decision it will be on your part to understand and accept your chosen one along with his past.

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Any woman, and even more so a mother, after a divorce, is looking not only for a husband for herself, but also for a new father for her children. She needs someone who will love children and take care of them as if they were her own. With divorced men, the situation is the same: if a woman refuses to accept his children, then she is not suitable for the role of a permanent partner. And here no scandals and ultimatums can alienate a man from his former family, keep him from meeting children and communicating with them.
Moreover, it is desirable to make friends with his children and accept in their lives Active participation. Go to the cinema and ice cream with them, joint leisure will help you to establish contact with his children and establish trusting relationship. Do not try to compete with their mother, but try to become a close and respected person for them.

Psychologists say that if a woman is disgusted by the children of her partner from a previous marriage, then she does not love him. The lack of warm feelings for the continuation of your beloved man promises only problems in the future.

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Of course, you, like every woman, are pleased to know that the ex-wife of your beloved was "mymra". Stop flirting with pride and judge sensibly: after all, he chose this woman, admired her, offered her a hand and a heart, and now he is pouring mud? It is possible that this may happen to you, and he will complain to another mistress about your shortcomings.
Be wary if a man compares you with an ex, focuses on your advantages over her. Most likely, this behavior is an attempt to prove something to the previous partner, and not to build a separate relationship with you. Stop unnecessary complaints and attempts to make you your friendly "vest for tears", do not let him assert himself at your expense.

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While it's important to know about your partner's past marriage, it's important to remember that both you and your partner behave differently in a new relationship. Perhaps your union will open new sides in a man that are not known to him. Therefore, you should not get involved in detective work, but just enjoy your relationship.

In our magazine, the topic of marital relationships is often raised, in particular, one of the readers and an active discussion about her life situation prompted us to think about the roles that partners play in a pair. How do women find themselves under the dictatorship of a man? Is it possible to change the situation? Is there a chance at the very beginning of a relationship to predict possible problems in future? Irina Anatolyevna Rakhimova told about this in an interview with our magazine, family psychologist, director of the socio-psychological association "Orthodox family".

- How to protect yourself from unpleasant discoveries in the future? After all, starting a relationship, we look at the partner through " pink glasses”, and when we remove them, we can be very disappointed.

I think that in order for our marital relations were more harmonious, it is necessary to pay Special attention their premarital stage. In the traditional sense, it is considered that it is necessary to recognize each other without an intimate connection, up to a year. The absence of carnal relations is not hypocrisy, it is due to very specific reasons. Under the plausible pretext that they need to get to know each other, to understand, to try whether they are compatible, people enter into an intimate relationship, but then, under the influence of passion and attraction, it will be more difficult for them to make a conscious choice whether this partner is suitable for them for life. Some, more often men, sexual relations there is enough, and they do not dare to take the next step.

- Is this how stories develop when a couple has been together for five years, and the man does not propose? And the woman cannot understand how it will all end and whether it is worth hoping for.

- Yes, many couples live together for a long time, they can be attached to each other, but the relationship does not develop, and it is already very difficult to part. This is statistics: up to five years they tyrannize each other, and then painfully part.

- It turns out that a year is a critical period, and if during this time people do not understand that they really want to be together, is it better to leave?

- Yes, on average for a year you can understand whether you want to be with this person or not.

- What are the criteria for this case are indicative, how to understand that this person is yours?

Firstly, you should find out the partner's parental family, how relations between parents are built and how the man himself treats his parents, whether he has any complaints about them. If a girl sees that a man has a sharp relationship in the family, and he does not want to reconcile with his parents, then it is important how he reacts to her attempts to talk about it and how she treats her opinion on this issue. If a man reacts sharply and does not try to reflect on this, then better relationship do not continue with him, because such behavior will then be projected onto your family. How he treats his parents is how he will treat you.

It is important to see how he makes friends, whether he knows how to do it, how he treats his girlfriend's friends and the fact that she will have some part of her own life, separate from him. In a family, the moment of cooperation is very important, and this grows precisely from the ability to be friends, the ability to build some kind of joint space with another person. At the same time, friendship is built on loyalty, and this is very important for potential family life.

Thirdly, it is necessary to understand whether he is hardworking. It is very important for a woman that a man knows how to do something around the house and strives for it. It is also important what social status and whether he is motivated for something more, whether he has ambitions.

Then you should pay attention to how he overcomes conflicts. For a year in a relationship there will definitely be some clashes, disputes - pay attention to how a man gets out of them. Once a woman came to me for a consultation, complaining about her husband's aggressiveness, she went to the priests, they also advised her to endure, but the situation did not get better. In the process of work, we just returned to the beginning of their relationship, and she said that they had known each other for a long time, with student years, and when the relationship approached the turn of a possible marriage, the groom became very conflicted. She then did not pay attention to this, deciding that everything would work itself out. Of course, nothing has changed, and as a result, she received aggression and disrespect from him.

You cannot turn a blind eye to such things, you cannot allow other people, even the man you love, to behave unworthily towards you. A man treats you the way you let him. This does not mean that it is necessary to stand in a pose and snap back, it is enough to tactfully say: “You know, it seems to me that this is not right, please don’t do this to me next time.” Behind this lies a very big inner work before you say so and stand up for yourself.

But the main quality is the ability to make responsible decisions. My favorite test for those who want to start a family: “What do you think, what qualities should a man have?” Enumerations usually begin: intelligence, kindness, sense of humor, etc. But first of all, he must be responsible. This shows up even in small things. Often girls complain: "I always act as the initiator of where to go together." In fact, it is the responsibility of a man - where to take the girl, what to do with her, so that there is something to discuss later.

All these nuances, if not taken into account in family life, will result in a problem of misunderstanding. Their interests can be limited only to the discussion of everyday issues, and everything will develop according to the saying: "everyday life has stuck the relationship." Or spouses will only discuss issues of raising children, and then they will close only on the sub-marital system and will only play parent role. And all these and other reasons can provoke aggressive behavior of the spouse. They will not need each other as friends, lovers, interlocutors. They will swear only about children, and dissatisfaction in other areas will be transformed into reproaches to each other.

— In light of the crisis facing the modern traditional family, very often personal life shepherds are presented with super-demands, the model is ideal family. And the problems that such spouses can face cause a lot of conflicting feelings not only among the spouses themselves, but also among the flock and just outsiders. As a psychologist, have you ever encountered difficult situations in priestly families?

— The wives of clergy sometimes come to me for consultations, most often deacons. Such stories happen, I can’t say that especially often, but it happens. Both priests and matushkas, about whom in question is a product of our time, people who grew up in modern society. Many of the priests are people who did not have any continuity in the service of the Church, did not come from priestly families. In general, this is very delicate topic, not because you don’t want to show your cards, but if only because the figure of a priest in the lives of many people is sacred.

I once determined for myself that my confessor should be an ideal for me. For me, it doesn’t matter what he does outside the church, how he behaves in the family, because I understand that he is a person, he may have disadvantages, but I want to leave some secret for him, like for any priest. Therefore, for me personally, there are no bad priests, and only good ones turn out to be in my environment. God has mercy, I have not seen the image of an unworthy priest. When mothers come to see me and talk about the misbehavior of their husbands, it is difficult for me to evaluate them, but at the same time, it is clear that they are faced with a human factor. They say that no man is without sin, only God is without sin.

— But when a woman comes to you with such family history How do you place accents in working with her problem? Do you suggest not touching the figure of the husband at all and focusing only on the reasons why she is in this situation?

– Based on my rather modest experience of working with priestly families, I can say that it is not necessary to work with them for a long time and in depth, a few meetings are enough, and we are already seeing a tangible result. Often our view is “blurred” when we are inside a relationship, and there is enough opinion from the outside to see possible ways out of this situation. Turning on emotionally, we can see only one side of the problem, very difficult, traumatic, almost hopeless, and consider alternative options there's just no energy left. Maybe strangers tell you about other possibilities, but you don’t hear them, either because of your stubbornness, or because of an unconscious desire to stay in your problem, or maybe, indeed, there is no longer any resource to find a solution. And when we talk with a person and lay out his situation point by point, he finds an internal reserve of strength to work with his problem.

As a rule, mothers who come for a consultation come with their internal problems. Often this is the idealization of a man, excessive demands on him, especially on the bearer of the priesthood. As a consequence, when her expectations are not met, there is a strong need to blame him and to justify herself. The same thing happens on the part of the father: from the mother he expects very high level morality, patience and wisdom. Both partners here have somewhat idealized ideas about each other.

- What model of family relations did a woman have if she feels the need to suffer in her family life?

- Despite the fact that we are not robots, but people, a person can sometimes become so obsessed that it becomes impossible to get out of a certain circle of standard reactions. Here, the transfer of some formed negative behavior model associated with relationships with loved ones in the past can work. Such a transfer forms a stable stereotype of behavior in such situations. And if some situation is not fully lived, the emotions in it are not worked out and not reacted, then we transfer such behavior to other significant relatives, in particular, to our own. own family. And there we meet another person with their own patterns of behavior, and the partners act out something on each other that they did not play out in their past.

In the described situation, it was possible that wrong image father, perhaps he did not exist at all, or he was passive, formal. The father could underestimate his daughter, communicated little with her, did not admire, she did not learn to communicate with men and her husband can feel it. When a relationship with a man is accompanied by constant humiliation, up to assault, we can say that a woman has a so-called “victim complex”.

This is now a fairly common story, because families now often have a dominant mother who suppresses her husband, in response he must always prove something to her and, as a result, he begins to perceive his wife as a mother to whom he did not say something at one time, and now he wants to “get through” to her. A very stable symbiosis "aggressor - victim" is formed, which after a while change roles.

In each such pair, the victim loses patience after a while and seeks to punish his offender, and now he is already trying to defend himself. These are co-dependent relationships, each participant of which cannot build relationships on the principle of individual freedom. Such emotional, passionate relationships can last quite a long time until they reach a peak.

“But what if the victim has reached this peak and is already acting as the aggressor, and he does not want to lose his role?

- At the root of such a bundle is competition, the need to win. The fact is that even behind the image of the victim lies hidden, latent aggressiveness. This type of personality is called "submissively dependent". Outwardly, this person seems submissive and patient, but inside he experiences not the kindest range of feelings: anger, irritation, resentment. His aggression is directed at himself, he has not learned to express his emotions openly, and this is also a kind of program embedded in him by parental upbringing.

When people come to me for a consultation, they often tell with resentment that the priest says to them: “Pray, endure, love,” and I think this is a very correct idea for such a problematic situation. The fact is that the couple once before, when they first met, loved each other. They wanted to be together and therefore have not parted until now, despite all the difficulties.

When we made the decision that we wanted to be with this person, we understood that he also has his shortcomings, but people who are deeply religious are idealists by nature and prefer not to notice them. They prefer not to talk about the difficulties, but leave them for later, with the hope that they will remake their partner, and if it doesn’t work out, then they will endure and fall in love. In fact, it is impossible to change another person, and therefore I attach great importance to premarital relationships. It is very important to go through this period consciously and carefully in order to avoid unnecessary suffering in family life.

At the moment of falling in love, we prefer to see our relationship as ideal, and our partner as sinless, but the reality is far from ideal. Our task is to make each other happy and help each other become better. Therefore, “pray” in this situation means: “Lord, give my beloved spouse what she lacks.” And it is desirable to specify: "help him to be more sensitive, give him peace, strength of mind", etc.: to formulate those qualities that seem to be absent from the spouse. Often, problems in relationships are given to people precisely so that, having “boiled” in them, they learn a new behavior model for themselves. I want changes to happen quickly, in the blink of an eye, but it doesn’t work out that way.

Patience is very important, not even in the sense of humility and humility, but rather wisdom. Very often based family conflict lies the need to prove, to argue, which causes great impatience in a life partner. Aggression on his part can be a kind of provocation to be reassured and heard.

Both are always involved in conflict, to varying degrees, depending on the situation. Perhaps if you keep silent, suffer in response to aggression, then later you will have the strength to express your emotions in a different way, calmly. And then the spouse will be able to hear you, because people react more not to words, but to tone. When we shout or argue, the other is forced to defend himself from pain and thinks how he could survive, and therefore hears only himself. That is why communication cannot bring a positive result.

For those who complain in response to the aggressive behavior of their spouse, it is important to understand what is behind this, what are his motives. Most often, we think only about ourselves, what is happening to me at this moment, while aggression for a partner is his way of protecting, once chosen. He attacks first because he is afraid of you, does not know what to expect from you, or vice versa, knows your typical reactions too well.

As a rule, people are afraid of each other because they use unacceptable methods of communication. The wife reproaches the husband: "You always do this, you never get it done, you're always so stubborn/stupid/immature." But he's not always like that. And then she is surprised when he shouts at her: “After all, I didn’t say anything like that, I only told the truth.” And out of this “truth”, seeming virtue, great conflicts and grievances grow. If you want to be heard, you first need to learn to listen yourself. So the victim may not start the quarrel herself, but she certainly contributes to the development of this process.

As a rule, people with a victim complex tend to take everything personally. If someone throws negativity at them, they readily accept the blame and believe that they are really to blame for everything. Behind aggressive behavior there are many accompanying reasons. When an aggressive person has a need to express emotions, it is important for him to express it. In fact, he is looking for a “grateful” listener who will hear and understand him, without judging his behavior and without entering into an argument. Competing with the aggressor, proving to him that he is wrong is not constructive, we need to use every situation for rapprochement, and not for conflict. It is necessary to try to build relationships in such a way that he always wants to come to us with his problems.

Creating a family is a difficult and long process that does not always end in success. In most cases, it turns out to be an excellent and comfortable cell of society, and in some cases pain and disappointment remain. How to avoid this and form complete family? This question is asked by many young girls and guys, which is why it is worth starting to solve it!

What is stopping you from starting a family?

You also need to deal with the problem that prevents you from creating a happy family. It could be several factors:

permanent employment. You are either very passionate about something, or always at work, or your life consists of a family, children. In this case, you just need to unwind, take a walk, do something interesting.

Parents. If your mother is against a relationship with certain person, then the question involuntarily arises in my head: "Is it worth starting them?" In any case, you are already an adult, so try to make your own decision!

Serious dating for a family

You are not yet a married couple and you do not have an applicant to become one. Then you need to find a person who could make your family leisure happy, make life bright and fun! It is worth taking a closer look: perhaps this person is next to you. First, look for a caring guy or girl around you.

If no one compliments you, gives you gifts and other pleasant events, then it's time to discard people from your environment. Now do the following:

Get outside. Take a walk, spend more time on fresh air. There is a possibility that your person is close. Therefore, walk!
Dating websites. Visit various dating sites, pages attractive men V in social networks. Do not be too intrusive, but you can write first!

In order to start a relationship, you need to work long and hard, and not just sit in one place. Be sure to try, because every attempt brings you closer to success!

What should be done first? First Steps to Shared Happiness

To begin with, while you are still an ordinary couple, you need to not only create a trusting atmosphere, but also do the following list of actions:

Avoid quarrels and conflicts. To create a happy family, you need to try to avoid major quarrels, terrible conflicts. Try to either translate them into a joke, or find a solution to the problem together. Listen to the comments of the second half, express your opinion, but not too much. Work on yourself and first of all pay attention to yourself.

Don't let other people interfere with your privacy. You should not tell everyone what problems you have, especially in the family. Try to deal with everything on your own, with a guy. If there are any worries, then do not be shy - discuss them with your soulmate. Your future home is your cozy territory, in which you need to immediately build understanding and trust.

All this is worth considering while you are an ordinary couple. Do not create much conflict and try not to divulge all the secrets of your personal life. You can ask for advice from your parents, girlfriend, but do it within reason.

How is a family formed? Or what is life made of?

Now you are more than a couple if you started to trust each other and stopped making all quarrels something important and focusing too much on them. It's time to create a cell of society, and in the second step, do this:

One of the conditions for starting a family is While you are still a couple, it may not be that important, but when you start life together, then all the changes will be obvious. That is why plan all your actions in advance, try to distribute responsibilities. It is also based on the creation Orthodox family.
One of important conditions creating a happy family common child. Therefore, if you want to have a baby, then be sure to consider this important life step, calculate the approximate costs. The sooner you have a baby, the sooner you can good family. You should not delay, but the birth should also be in appropriate conditions.

When you consider these 2 points, it will become much easier to start a good and loving family.

How to create a friendly family? Basic rules in a family with a child

IN modern world development of computer technologies, new areas in the information structure, each person becomes more or less dependent on gadgets. That is why the usual friendly communication goes by the wayside. In order to return it, you must:

One of the most important aspects of starting a family is understanding your child's little joys. Try to remember when the baby was the happiest and repeat this moment! Find enough time to spend with your child. It is during the time that you spend with your child that you can learn about his desires and experiences.
New acquaintances. To create a family, you must immediately accustom your children to the daily routine. Show the kid some child of his age who makes the bed, does his homework. It can be set as an example, but do not overdo it. Otherwise, the children may think that you do not love them and become very upset.
If you have a free minute, then talk to the baby. During a walk, breakfast or at another free moment, ask how he is doing, what he did at or school. Maintain dialogue if necessary.

The most important thing is to talk to people, and your child is no exception, rather, on the contrary, a shining example.

Why do relationships fade? Warm feelings in the family

Sooner or later you begin to realize that there is a crisis in your feelings. Former passion has already passed, all the days are becoming ordinary and nondescript. What to do? Looking for an answer:

Family creation. men in some married couples very often they forget that time flies very quickly and it's time to start building a family. That is why, if you are still loving couple, but the relationship begins to fade, then think about building a family hearth.
Humble yourself. If you are already a family, then just accept the idea that relationships will not always be great. Remember why you fell in love with your husband or wife? Scroll warm and pleasant moments in your head, it will become easier.

Compliments. Do you think your man has stopped complimenting you? Then bestow flattering words on him! Remind me how smart, strong and good your boyfriend is! Give compliments first to get them back!
Solve all problems calmly. Some other arose unpleasant situation, because of which you and your wife had a big fight? Try to resolve the conflict differently next time, using tenderness and understanding! After all, it is understanding that is the basis of future family victories and one of critical aspects creating a family!
Don't be a selfish person. Do not think only about yourself, anticipate situations in advance and take care of your wife and children. In ideal married couples, spouses depend on each other, but equally.

Another aspect worth highlighting in a separate paragraph is Every person makes mistakes. After all, if you do something for the first time, then shortcomings are possible.

If a person has made a mistake and sincerely repents of it, then forget and forgive. No one is immune from unpleasant incidents. Also, do not remind your partner about the problem and make it a "life lesson". Family happiness consists of care and warmth. You build it yourself, invest tenderness. The creation of a family by a woman is the most important thing in her life.

Conclusion

In order to create good friendly family you need to work hard on your happiness!

First of all, creating a family is a difficult process that includes: understanding each other, the ability to forgive and negotiate, distribute responsibilities, etc. But everything is in your hands, which is why take advantage of the moment! While you are still an ordinary couple, but soon you will be a family! Learn to plan and anticipate situations!