Cool statuses about women - beautiful quotes with meaning! Funny statuses about women
It is difficult to imagine social networks without various statuses and jokes. It is they who fill the profiles with meaning and invite you to stay on your personal page. long time. Cool statuses about women, men and children are relevant and often used. To express what you want as much as possible, you should choose the appropriate sayings.
Bright and cool statuses about women
Of course, women often behave unpredictably, incomprehensibly to men and very strange. In this regard, cool statuses about women with meaning are popular with the strong half of humanity. After all, those moments in which women and men differ attract and cause surprise and awe. Examples of such statements can be read as follows.
- Women sometimes can not understand themselves. As soon as they see a campaign for a blouse, they don’t rush anywhere right away, they don’t run anywhere. They can stand in line for hours, although they were late for something five minutes ago.
- Only a woman knows how to simultaneously paint her nails, apply makeup, look for clothes in which to go, and at the same time talk on the phone with her girlfriend.
- Men will never understand how there can be nothing to wear with a crowded wardrobe.
- When two females meet, they necessarily discuss the third, which is not with them.
Such special women
- You need to apply makeup as if today you will meet the man of your life, all your friends and relatives on this day.
- Only when you go out with a slicked ponytail, house slippers and not made up, you can meet everyone whom you have not seen for several years.
About women in poetry
Sometimes cool statuses about women from several lines do not make it possible to open all emotions. Therefore, it is necessary to speak in poems. The beautiful half of humanity is worthy of many words. The following ideas can be taken as a basis.
- Being a woman is great.
They are never bored.
If sadness finds on them,
They may be silent.
But in my head at the time
Miracles are happening
They come up with a lot
When they close their eyes.
Women always have adventures
And even when they are at home.
In the dreams of their bright, familiar
And even on the phone. - In women whose closet is full,
There is always nothing to wear.
It's very, very difficult for men.
Understand all this, do not be shy.
They're a hundred things at the same time
Are able to do
Weird things.
And no matter what the woman says
She always thinks
What's right. - Women are like a mystery.
Sweet when they sleep sweetly.
They come in different moods
Then they cry, then they laugh without oblivion.
If a man asks something
Doesn't know what answer to expect.
Women are wonderful, interesting
And they leave a beautiful mark. - They are beautiful without a doubt
And you don't need a lot of words.
Thought out in sayings
For such a man is ready for anything. - bright lips, beautiful make-up eye.
Only thanks to this they will not hide unnecessary phrases.
Men are shocked by their riddle,
Because often they are not very sweet.
Funny and funny statuses about women driving
Very often, men treat women with humor while driving a car. Therefore, they are often in social networks set out cool statuses about women, laughing from which does not stop for a minute.
- She is driving, having just bought a license.
- Monkeys are more predictable than a woman driving.
- Women behind the wheel are like stars. They never see you because they are above.
- You can’t get close to a car driven by a representative of the beautiful half of humanity. You never know what a lady might have forgotten at home.
- Buying a driving license should be considered, because you can buy everything, but this does not mean that it can be used.
- Beauty is a very terrible force. And if this force is behind the wheel, then it is doubly scary.
- Girls can perfectly see the lack of makeup in the far-view mirror. But they can never see the cars ahead.
- The ability to properly park is clearly not invented for women.
- By placing the car crookedly in the parking lot, women give themselves the opportunity and space in order to beautifully leave from there.
- A woman shines especially when she has correctly identified the gas and brake pedal in her car.
men and women
There are many interesting and funny situations in relationships, which are also often used in social networks. Especially women are very refined in the process of building relationships. Ideas for expressing such thoughts can be used as follows.
- My wife is kind, she always lets me go with friends, but then I don’t see her for at least a week. It is very difficult to look when the eye is swollen from a blow.
- I never fight with my wife. Because even where she is to blame, the fault shifts exquisitely to me.
- - My loves me, waits and never scolds.
- Wife?
- No, mom. - Only women know how to embellish any situation and make a real grandiose scandal out of a trifle.
You can talk about women endlessly. They are mysterious and open at the same time. They are funny and serious at the same time. Men are never bored with them. Poems are composed, songs are composed, and there is no end to this.
Feminism is when iron ladies forge their own happiness.
Women's logic is unshakable: when leaving, lock the apartment with a key, hide it under the rug and leave a note: "Darling, I'll be there tomorrow, the key is under the rug, the borsch is on the stove." Here the robbers will be delighted - and rob and devour!
The girl and the traffic inspector have much in common: both empty their pockets, do not allow even minor violations, spoil the mood and try to take away the rights.
At the beginning of a relationship, a man tries with all his might to bring a woman to a conversation, and after a while he is surprised that she cannot be stopped!
Best Status:
Note to every woman: A man should not be let out of the house with an empty stomach and full eggs!
Women are sadistic. They subject us to torture, with which we torture them.
On the road to success, do not push through the many women pushing their men in the back.
Beauty is a delight male gaze and an irritant for the feminine.
If a woman woke up surrounded by flowers, it was unlikely that it was a holiday yesterday ... most likely she went over too much and fell asleep in a flower bed.
There are two blind people in the world... You, because you don't see how much I need me, too, because I don't see anyone but you.
We are strong women: we will take out the garbage, and the brain, if necessary ...
Darling! There was no one like you, no, and no need!
A woman is the only gift that wraps itself.
Women are sadists; they torture us with the torments we inflict on them.
I'm a woman. We don't say what we want, but we get angry if we don't get it.
A woman should be loved, happy, beautiful. And she owes nothing to anyone else.
A woman is like tea leaves, you will never know her fortress until she boils ...
In vengeance and love, a woman is more barbarian than a man.
Every girl should wait for such a guy who, when he saw her, said: “Here it is, my life!”
I'm like champagne: I can be playful, but I can give it to my head.
Girls, if you want to be loved, why do you dress to be wanted?
Women are like ice cream - at first they are cold, then they melt, then they stick ...
The woman reigns, but does not govern.
My mood, you know, does not smell of violets ...
A woman has something to wear - when there are new things, and a man - when washed.
An independent woman is a woman who has not found anyone who would like to depend on her.
We are responsible for those who were not sent on time!
Women's logic: - So you won't let me warm up? -After the wedding only!
I am a creative woman, I want to create, I want to get up
Those who distinguish between good and evil, victory and defeat, life and death, even those who know the whole essence of things, are baffled by the behavior of women.
I love our tights. Haven't worn it yet - already torn.
So beautiful. Inaccessible. Smiling, but sad at heart. Happy and in love. Lonely in life. No, not abandoned. Just undefined.
Divine beautiful woman often possesses a diabolical character.
The Chukchi shaman began to be rude in line at the supermarket and missed three strokes of the tambourine.
Feminism is when they no longer count on Prince Charming.
He eats - I cook, he wears - I wash, he scatters - I clean. And what would I do without him? ..
Any woman has in her arsenal the most reliable contraceptive, it is simple and short word- No! Some women just don't even realize it.
Diet is such a thing. which is uncomfortable to sit on.
There are only 2 things in the world that do not forgive mistakes - these are women and Tetris at 9 speeds.
Good girls have jobs, bad girls have sponsors, smart girls have their own business, and the smartest girls have everyone))
I'm not arrogant, I just don't think it's necessary to smile at everyone! I'm not selfish, I just learned to live for myself!!!
They grow paws, and then you go, complex
I knew that sooner or later he would leave! But why?! Why didn't I break his legs?!
... I'm not the kind of girl who will say: "Everything will be fine next to me!" And the one who says: “It will be different, but I will be there!” ...
A woman is a saint, because of which others become sinners.
No, you're not a loser! You are beautiful, smart, sweet, kind! And you deserve to be loved! All life. Just loved. It's just not the time. Be patient.
All women value honesty very much, but among themselves this quality is extremely rare ...
Give a woman a million scarlet roses, and she will say that one is enough for her, but white.
Many people know me, but only a few know who I really am ...
We are all pricey bitches at first glance, but open it up, and there the sun sits small and makes a loop-loop with its eyes))
Men forgive and forget. Women forgive and nothing more.
I wrote to my beloved “you are a miracle” and sent “you are fucking” - thanks to the phone with the T9 function
Don't be stupid, but pretend!
I’m even afraid to think that such a charm as I will get to someone ...! 🙂
Today, a woman on the subway gave up her seat to me... Old age crept up unnoticed...
I used to be small and stupid, but now I'm big and ... the same.
Everyone has them - comfortable home pants, in which you are ashamed to go to the store ...
A woman can forgive a man, even if he is not guilty of anything before her.
A real woman powders her brains without a mirror!
The key to a Mercedes is best suited to a girl's heart.
Beautiful. Inaccessible. Smiling, but sad at heart. Happy and in love. Lonely in life. No, not abandoned. Just undefined...
A woman on a ship - to pleasure before misfortune.
A smart woman .. she knows that she's a fool ..
Female logic: he gave me a digital camera to make me go crazy reading the instructions
Glasses are sober!…
Desirable girl with champagne lips, now nothing more than just drunk.
A woman was created to be loved, not to be understood.
What is not in women's bag? -Something ... There is no place in it !!!
- Darling, let's arrange a great weekend for each other ?!, - With pleasure, dear!, - Then until Monday, dear!))
Good girls become good wives. The bad ones are amazing mistresses. Smart - true friends. And the wise - manage to combine all this.
The woman on the couch is resting, the man is lying around.
The woman takes everything from the man. Even a last name.
“Today, eating a bun feels like selling your soul.”
The weak sex is stronger than the strong due to the weakness of the stronger sex to the weak
Beautiful woman pleases male eye, and ugly - feminine.
The most precious thing a girl has is her bag, without her she is nowhere ...
If you look in the mirror and don't see anyone there. So you are irresistible!
Two entities always fight in a woman: a cat that wants to walk by itself, and a dog that needs a master!
Nothing decorates a guy like me walking next to him!
Everything that a woman forgives - She will still remember you
“A girl should dress in such a way that it would be pleasant to undress her”
Women guess everything, and if they are wrong, then on purpose.
A woman is a weak, defenseless creature, from which it is impossible to escape.
There are a huge number of different sayings about women, about female illogical logic, about an abnormal character, and so on. However, is it really so? This will help you understand our statuses, which are published on this page. Or maybe you want to pin up the woman you love? Then choose some witty status and send it to her early in the morning. If you want to apologize, you can also use our statuses. Why else do you need statuses about women? For example, you can choose any saying about how beautiful women are and send it to all the fair sex you know on the day of their holiday - March 8th. This will definitely please any woman and will win her over to you.
Sneezing, the woman looked at her breasts and said, "GROW BIG"
A woman wants to feel with a man - like behind a wall. But, judging by the modern glamorous types, you will feel yourself with them - at most, behind the curtain!
A woman's brain is another one of hers erogenous zone. Therefore, they need to be excited, not fucked !!!)
Cool status about a woman: A woman is like the Internet: you come in for half an hour, and you leave only in the morning ...
many women oral sex suits, and, for a pretty decent job
Women are touching creatures ... I would touch and touch ...
Girls need to know three rules - don't go to the store hungry, go on a date horny and don't update your drunk status :)
If men say kitty-kitty after that, there is a desire to take and piss in slippers!
Women get prettier up to a certain age, then they get younger.
Two essences always fight in a woman: a cat that wants to walk on its own, and a dog that needs a master!
We, women, can drink a liter of vodka, crack a guy, go home alone in the middle of the night, but we only go to the toilet with a girlfriend!
Cool status about a woman: A smart girl always knows when to turn on the fool.
If the proverb is true: "What a woman wants, God wants it," then God never knows what he specifically wants ...
With a woman you need to be tough and strict: to cause joy, to do good, to be affectionate!
If a woman says that the sexiest thing in a man is brains, then it is them that she is going to fuck.
Three ages in a woman's life: 1. Unnerving father. 2. Annoys her husband. 3. Infuriates the son-in-law.
A woman turns into a saw only when firewood is near her. (Statuses about women)
Cool status about a woman: Kissing was invented by a man to silence a woman even for a minute.
"If a woman walks with her head down - she has a lover. If a woman walks with her head held high - she has a lover! If a woman holds her head straight - she has a lover! And in general - if a woman has a head, then she has lover!"
A woman loves with her ears man with eyes. Strongly exciting pose - a man looks into a woman's ear...
Anyway, it's good to be a woman... Even a bitch sounds nicer than a goat...
A woman is like chess, almost a step in the wrong direction, immediately checkmate! (Statuses about women)
Among males, a woman becomes a bitch. Among idiots - an ulcer. Among assholes - a bitch. If you want a woman next to you - stay a man!
***
A woman never knows what she wants, but she won't rest until she gets it.
***
If a woman allows herself to lie - she is not a fool, she just wants to believe that she is happy.
***
A woman is like a child. Don't try to raise her if you can't get her across the bed.
***
If a woman ceases to gently tickle her soul, she begins to pretty tickle her nerves.
***
“Life after 50 is just beginning,” the woman thought and asked for another 50.
***
A satisfied woman in bed says to her lover: - Vasenka, you are just a fairy tale! - (with pride) And then! - And, most importantly, with a good ending!
***
The most terrible word that men are afraid to hear from a woman is the word "MORE!"
***
cutting bread today reverse side knife, was surprised at his stupidity, but you should have been surprised at your own ...
***
Not a woman is unhappy that she fell in love with a scoundrel ... unhappy is a scoundrel that did not take advantage of the last opportunity to become a man!
***
A stupid woman sits and waits for someone to make her happy...
A smart woman creates her own happiness!!!
***
Only at my house there are frying pans in the oven?)))
***
100% of mice surveyed are afraid of women!!!
***
Only a Russian woman answered the question: “Do you have children?” can answer: "There is a little ..."
***
Each clever woman secretly hopes that one day she will stop being such an idiot.
***
A gorgeous woman is not a ratio of weight and height, as well as appearance, it is a proportion of intelligence and a sense of humor, multiplied by self-esteem !!!
***
I wonder when I did something, who am I???
Creator or Creator ...)))
***
While shopping, I realized that I want a new dress more than I want to eat next week!)
***
If you do not spoil a woman, she begins to indulge herself ...
***
In general, I’m a risky woman: I like to lie, but I don’t know how to run.
***
Women's years... who counts them? Women's years - love measures. A pillow sees women's tears, women's secrets friend knows. For the rest - under the instrument of torture: Only smiles, only smiles!!!
***
A woman should be smart enough to make a man want to do all sorts of stupid things with her.
***
Women are divided into two categories: "why do you need me" and "nah ... you tell me."
***
The husband asks his wife: - What gift would you like to receive by the tenth anniversary of our wedding: a new fur coat or a trip to Greece with me? - Let's go to Greece. They say coats are cheaper there.
***
I feel sorry for men who, in order to win a woman, are forced to buy her ... but I despise those who cannot either buy a woman or attract them with something else, because they are the ones who shout loudest about female corruption ...
***
If a woman says no, then she does not see you as a man or a sponsor.
***
It looks like I'm a sweet girl, you don't believe it, I'm harmful and capricious. I snarl like a wild animal)))
***
When a woman does not take her eyes off her, she becomes prettier before her eyes ...
***
You need to love a woman, you don’t know how to love - sit and be friends!
***
An independent woman is a woman who has not yet found someone she would like to depend on.
***
For those who love thin people, remember: snakes are not fat ...
***
Loves not the one who gives diamonds, but the one who does not send for an abortion!
***
Happy and Confident Women, Beautiful in any scenario, regardless of the WAIST and HIPS!!!
***
Having achieved your happiness, do not achieve it ...
***
I can be awesome, I can be awesome ... whoever is lucky ...)))
***
Most best gift for a woman: a diamond ring wrapped in mink coat, tied with a gold chain, in the trunk of a new Mercedes parked near the house by the sea!
***
I got up in the morning, looked in the mirror: “I am the most beautiful, let those who are more beautiful than me hang themselves.” I go to work, no one hangs ... So I'm the most beautiful.
***
Two friends are talking: -How did your daughter get on? -Great. My husband loves, buys fur coats, takes him to resorts. - And the son? - And your son got a bitch, then buy her a fur coat, then take her to the resort.
***
Women do not cheat - they are just used to giving their love completely, and if someone does not take it all ... they have to give it to others ...
***
Women do not follow bad advice - they are ahead of them :)
***
With a woman you need to be tough and strict:
- to cause joy, to do good, to caress!
***
Due to the fact that I often smoke naked on the balcony, apartments in the house opposite have risen in price.
***
I painted my nails ... I urgently needed to go to the toilet, scratch my back, touch my hair, make a ponytail, get into my bag, change clothes.
***
After reading today the status of 20 absolutely different women, I realized - they have a common goat)
***
Two girlfriends meet ... One says:
- You know, my lover promised to give me a mink coat.
- Awesome.
- And also, he promised me to buy a Ferrari car.
- Awesome.
- And also, we will go to the Canary Islands in the summer.
What's new with you?
- Went to culture courses.
Instead of the words "Don't f*ck",
I learned to say "AMAZING" ...)))
***
DO NOT ANSWER MY CALLS AFTER 12 NIGHT! THIS IS NOT ME! And, IF I AM, THEN NO!))))
***
A woman always has one more room. And she can have fun there as she wants ... Wants to cook borscht ... Wants to wash dishes...
***
-And you're cute!
- I was cute when I was 5 years old. And now I'm beautiful!
***
How defenseless and gullible a woman is when a man deceives her, and how insidious and merciless she is when she begins to take revenge on him.
***
A WOMAN needs to maintain a GOOD shape: A SIMULATOR! MASSAGER! and GUYER!!!))))))
***
A woman can learn a lot: earn money, raise children, drive a car, plant trees. The main thing is to marry an asshole.
***
If a girl under the age of five was able to inspire that she is a queen, after five she will inspire this to the whole world ...
***
I am like ideal woman, I always know when it is necessary to remain silent, but after all ... an infection I can’t ...
***
If a woman grows wings, her man will never grow horns...)
Statuses about women are cool
