From wrong love to real love. Nika Nabokova. Confession of a former lover. From wrong love to real love read online - Nika Nabokova Confession of a former lover read

My entire book is written for you. Usually I don’t help mistresses, I don’t do love spells, I don’t explain how to take someone else’s husband away from the family.

But now I’m deliberately deviating from my principles to give the opportunity to come to my appointment and listen to the revelations of someone’s threesome tango partners.

their words will not be superfluous for you.

“I saw him and nothing happened. The earth and sky have not changed places. A tired, plump man with a bright look and kind eyes.

I'm fine. A prosperous marriage, a child, a job. There are many things that one could only dream of as a child. And the main thing is that I can do whatever I want. My childhood dream has come true - I work with creative people. What was not possible to learn when there was a desire, is now possible! Take it, grab it with both hands. All roads are open, and I took it! I studied greedily, avidly. I read a book a day. Everything in a row: classics, special literature, I learned on the go. And I’m very interested in living!

Somehow I managed to go to a vernissage where I didn’t know anyone at all. And immediately - HE! It's all about feeling. Everything happened in a heartbeat. He knew how to speak beautifully, like no one before or after him, he knew how to make someone happy and light in the soul just like that - he didn’t feel sorry. He knew how to deal with me. And I absorbed it with literally every cell. Delight came later.

Much later, I realized that this is probably what the one I always imagined should look like. The one she squeezed each of her men under. And there were not so many of them.

Everything happened easily and naturally, like breathing. No internal censor interfered with me, what was happening between us seemed so important.

He loved obsessively, he was bathed in happiness, he was blinded. I glowed next to him and didn’t expect anything.

When he was not around, breathing stopped. I got used to writing letters every day, took over all my free time, and then some not free time. No help, no advice, no gifts - I didn’t ask for anything. She knew: I was busy - and thanked me for every second spent with me. There were no scandals, there was nothing that gave me reason to hope for something. And how? He has a family and a child, he is busy with his own business, he is a genius. The man is everyone's favorite! Everyone hisses behind your back, but says nothing to your face. It is for everyone, but, most importantly, it is not mine.

My family was stable and free, maybe that’s why I calmly separated from my husband without drama or insults.

He called me his, dreamed and made plans. He didn’t talk much about his family, and I didn’t ask. For what? It never occurred to me that we could live together. He is a dream man, and what is better than a dream?

So time passed. He will stop by for an hour, kiss you from head to toe, and say so many good words that it will take your breath away. Not having time to get bored, he left to return. He never really helped me with anything. True, he helped me with my studies a few times, for which special thanks go to him, but otherwise, no, no. Either this is a tactic, or a principle... When I felt bad, he was never there. No matter what happens: from a common high temperature to a broken finger. Someone will take you to the emergency room, bring you oranges and roses, someone will buy medicine and take you to the market for groceries.

I didn’t even dare ask to meet her or pick her up from somewhere. He has so many things to do, but I can organize my own affairs myself. I can get there on time myself. That's not what he's for. I love him. I still love him. Sometimes he didn’t show up for weeks – I waited.

She asked: “Let me know in advance, if you can’t come on holidays, I’ll organize some entertainment for myself and have a great time.” No. He will hold out until the last minute and still leave on New Year’s Day, his birthday, March 8th, and in general. He always came only when he wanted, for as long as he wanted, and she opened the door because she was waiting. I waited, although I was afraid to admit to myself that I was waiting. I hoped that he would come, I would smile at him and let him go as soon as he asked to be released. But he didn’t ask. I got ready in a minute and left. At night, in the snow, he went somewhere.

As I understood, it’s not always possible to go home. I've never been angry. Why on earth?

I wasn’t jealous - he bathed me in attention: text messages, calls, and visits without warning.

I was sad, I won’t lie, when he disappeared for several days or when exactly five minutes were not enough to inhale him.

I am a self-sufficient person, exactly as they write and advise in all women’s magazines.

I don't need money.

Bright and smiling.

Creative and in demand.

Affectionate, attentive and sexy.

I don’t reproach, I don’t conflict, I forgive, I adapt.

I look good, well-groomed and confident.

The child helps me live, and does not interfere.

People around me love me.

My relationship with my mother is excellent, she supports and understands me.

But a couple of days a month I really want care. Many of my friends are ready to do whatever I ask for, but I just want to be his woman. So that he knows what kind of soap I like, what kind of juice I drink.

And he is always a guest. He doesn't care about my problems. Of course, I listen if he feels bad or sad, but I’m a holiday woman, and I can’t complain. I love people and do not regret anything for them. I generously distribute abilities, warmth, knowledge, love, everything comes back to me a hundredfold.

But today I came to see you because, in the midst of complete well-being, yesterday I ended a relationship that lasted a year and a half. I just wrote; “You don't have me anymore. Thank you for everything".

He replied: “Good luck. I believe in you. It’s a pity that they broke up, not loving.”

Yes, I don't like it. Let her better remember the way she was. You can't stoop to a showdown. You yourself taught: if you don’t like something, leave yourself. That's what I did."

I ask: “What happened?”

“I apparently just realized that my love was in the wrong place. And his love is in the wrong place. Where he was in a hurry was a family, a child, and he couldn’t be late. He was never there, if it’s difficult, okay, but the few minutes that I need in joy, in happiness, I can’t just let go.

- Stay fifteen minutes. I need you. I feel good. Talk to me.

– You are delaying me, letting me down. Get dressed and see you out.

“I can’t leave you like this.”

- Do not leave.

“But I need to go home urgently.”

He still made me get up and accompany him. I closed the door and... closed this love story. Will you help me get out of this state?”

Here we are! Although I have an unspoken principle not to help mistresses, they still make it to the appointment, in a ratio of three to one. For three abandoned, one is waiting. Why shouldn’t I listen to her fears and hopes and help her understand her sluggish man-hunting?

I had to tell her:

“I’ll definitely help you.

You are a lover, and listen to your truth.

You have no rights (neither calling at night, nor arriving unexpectedly). You “stole him like someone else’s car, a “nine” - as in Allegrova’s song. She will be found and returned to her rightful owner. Other options are isolated cases of luck, but only the car will have to be redone: change the signs, change the numbers, repaint it, change the interior. This means that in the end, the man you receive will also have to change, but you love the one who is under the current owner! That's all the parsley. Guilty without guilt.

Yes, it's your fault. In front of his wife, who claims that dogs themselves provoke the attention of the opposite sex. In front of him - that she met on the way, and there was no strength to leave you, because you really are far from being an idiot and wanted him to stay with you. In front of herself - that she has earned so many complexes - guilt, her own uselessness, self-pity, sacrifice, surprise at inattention and a complete lack of care.

Would you like me to describe a standard situation? Listen, cry and don't interrupt.

A man sleeps at home, and perhaps in the same bed with his wife. You also sleep with him, but usually not in bed or at his place, but most often at your place, so that he is comfortable.

Going to bed in a common bed does not mean living together. He thinks whether he’s good with you now, and you think about how everything will work out for you in the future.

He has very great opportunities, but he doesn’t help you, doesn’t support you in your work and doesn’t introduce you to the right people, because it’s customary to go out with your wife, even if she’s far from the Playboy or Knitting standard.

A wife is an unshakable skeleton, a foundation, a cell. A mistress, one or several (let’s return to Allegro’s repertoire), is a draft. One is a hurricane, the other is like cigarette smoke. Your wife, perhaps, has outlived a dozen of you, and even at one time she herself fought him off, then still young and unmarried, from some sweetheart. Nothing. After the hurricane, they will install glass and sweep. Look, in two years she will give birth to another baby - for good. Someday it will calm down! It's better to have a pie all together than rubbish alone. So here it is.

And you take a bite of the pie, although the pie is hers, and you grab the best berry - his love and desire. Who will like it?

She doesn’t think now that there is no worse punishment for him than living with an unloved woman.

Do you know why he doesn't think? She doesn't know that she's unloved. Is it that for a year and a half he always urgently needs to go home? Do not make me laugh. Regulations! Your time is up. Be strong! He reserved this time for himself. Did you want someone who was smart, handsome, and cheerful next to you? Everyone wants it. Unfortunately, based on your story, it cannot be called reliable.

You are in love with a married man, and he tells you how reliable he is at home. Either he brought medicine, or he did repairs, or he gave his wife a chain with a pendant, or he took it abroad. But this is all because it seems necessary. Of course, he doesn’t love his wife at all, but he tells you that he dreams of calling you his wife. He writes that in his unhappy, difficult life YOU are the light, the outlet, the sweetheart, the sun, the sweet, beloved, rare woman.

According to his legend, he has not loved his wife for a long time. And most likely he didn’t like him at all. Sleep - no! They sleep in different rooms. And almost from the day of their wedding they didn’t have sex.

Here you, of course, “love” him brightly and passionately, then you still feel sorry for his ruined life, you sympathize... both in bed, and in an abandoned warehouse, and in a car on the street. A love affair, of course, makes your life richer, brighter, and risk and dosage only add fuel to the fire.

Do you think you're the only one who understands him like that? And his wife cooks delicious food for him, their place is cozy and warm. On the weekend - peace and grace. They are working. They get on with their lives, and you wait, wait, wait. Are you waiting?

No, you don't expect him to leave. You are waiting for HIM because you love HIM. And she loves too, and with your appearance twice as much.

He is washing the car because he and his wife are going to see friends for a wedding.

And you are waiting.

You are a year and a half, and some are half your life. You look back, but you wanted a child, but you were afraid to create difficulties for him. Since the first date I haven’t cheated on him, and already three times I’ve been treated by a gynecologist for some kind of “nonsense”. Due to nervousness or after alcohol, he allegedly has an exacerbation of old sins... This is all nonsense, okay? Our women's nonsense. I want and believe that the one who needs you needs you. Each of you, you, he, and your wife live in parallel worlds. Your man will give any science fiction writer a head start. He invented these worlds for you girls. He's great at inventing ideas! Fact.

He was always there for you when he needed participation or rest. He didn't ask for anything else. He solved his family and work problems without you - but I wonder if he really really loved you? If this is love. How can you not bring your beloved sweets and flowers? How can you not dream of giving her something other than the moon and your promise that tomorrow will come again? Inattention is disrespect. And the fact that I jumped up, got dressed, and ran, like in the “Autumn Marathon,” is a habit I’ve had since college. I was there (check mark in the journal), I learned the topic, and will rewrite the important things later. The exam has been passed. Diploma received. Do you know what I mean?

Love has been produced, what does he care about your calf tenderness for another fifteen minutes?

He's in a hurry. When a person loves, he cannot tear himself away. And every time he says goodbye forever, leaving for a moment. In your case, such a farewell does not look like love.

Everything needs to be done in time. Of course, there will be breakdowns. But as? Spree. Night. Who will he write to, who will he come to? Well, of course, to you. He loves you. In the morning, he’ll get ready like a soldier, won’t drink tea, will come out of the entrance, turn on the phone and tell his wife that he’s returning from a business trip. How many times have you not wanted to think about it? How many love orgies have been ruined by your wife’s calls, especially if he still picked up the phone, stretched out his hand through you, and said: “I’m with you, I’m with you, I’ll be there soon!”

You tell him: “How are you with her if you’re on top of me?” I can't hold back my tears. The phone, however, began to turn off, and thank you for that.

You know so little about him. Only short stories about the apartment, work. We went to a restaurant three times and went out of town once. Not much.

He wouldn't tolerate any man near you. He did everything to keep you alone. He needs it so much, he is the owner.

And you're still waiting. While the wife’s health improves, while the work begins and then ends, a super deal, a super project, and super meetings will take place. The son gets married and gets divorced. Construction begins, then ends. You also have no one to nail the shelf, but what can you accomplish in an hour? Love in an hour cannot be combined with anything. You can find an unmarried man. But you love, which means you choose loyalty yourself. And after five to ten years, having been a “second wife,” you will no longer get married. And if it happens, that poor sufferer, you will test his strength. Take revenge in your own way. Take it out on him. Walking around somewhere, not knowing your happiness, your next “beloved”!

Yes, you can’t think now that someone else can replace him.

You cry, cry.

That's how it should be. Your time has come to cry.

There, at work, there is also a woman. For some time they will be friends, and then, without much love, they will be lovers. Comfortable!

They listen and participate in each other’s work. She is aware of his affairs. It all started with light revelations and psychotherapy. Here you are listening, and there, at work, he is. He will advise anyone, and joke, and will most likely help someone completely stranger, but not you. Because everything is fine with you.

It’s hard to say how your man would behave if you played the role of “unfortunate” or, God forbid, if you became one. Judging by the stories, I think he would have gotten lost.

Remember when you needed help when you needed masculine strength? After all, it was difficult, but he said: “It’s not my problem.” You said correctly. Your problems are not his problems. He and his legal wife have enough problems.

Your friends helped you. Thank them very much. Where are they now? He quietly got rid of them all, clearing your time for himself.

At work, an affair is a business alliance plus quick love, then a habit. Sometimes it takes a very long time.

Then another woman will appear. Stop by, have some tea, and the family will remain standing as a monolith, because in his case it is also a kind of business alliance with rules established in a long struggle.

Even a Japanese geisha dreams of one wealthy client. Yes, you have to work for several people, they can’t get married, but the dream is that one is richer.

Your Ole Lukoje had a bright umbrella, but it was old. Water leaked into all the holes. Or maybe he only came to you with this umbrella. And thanks to the same union, is everything all right at home? What's that to you?!

This object is too tough for you. If you take a bite, you can't swallow it. Spit, or you'll choke.

You, as you say, are so good, a straight-A student. So, you also need an “excellent student” as a partner? Pipes. Usually good girls love bullies, those who do not notice them.

Well, God bless him!

I considered it necessary to end the relationship - wonderful!

If he appears in a few weeks, the outcome is unknown. Love is a very incomprehensible and hitherto unknown thing.

During the time for which he can be “lost”, he can die three times. But he knows that you are the one who will survive.

Relationships are a confusing thing. “House-2” has been under construction for two years now - it won’t be built, and you are alone, without a script and psychologists, and there is no one to advise you.

His words will not be forgotten: “I want to be with you,” “You are my destiny,” “You deserve the best - me.”

Will you wait again?

Do you really think he's really unhappy with his wife? Look: clean, well-groomed, moderately well-fed.

And “we will be together with you” - this is a suggestion given to you for peace of mind, to lower your vigilance.

If I wanted to, I would have left in the first six months, but now I won’t leave. If you used to be gentle and caring, but now you are a rare guest with elements of rudeness and disrespect, you will no longer be the same. It’s easier for him to have someone else than to move to a higher level of relationship with you. If I wanted to, I would have already switched.

You once allowed him to love you less. And you considered torment for the sake of this love as the norm. You probably didn't respect yourself if you let him think it was okay to do that. With you! I ran on tiptoes - and lost. Tired of enduring. Everything has a limit. You're in revolt.

If you swear to yourself that in your life you will never allow anyone to treat you like that, the other extreme lies in wait. You will begin to value yourself so highly and put yourself above other people that you will fly up like Icarus and crash without noticing the golden mean between the sun and the sea.

Try now to find the strength within yourself and realize that you are neither a slave nor a queen. You are you.

You claim that you do not receive care and have endured rude treatment for yourself for a year and a half. Can you imagine how surprised he was? He doesn't understand you. All this time you encouraged him with delicious food, a wonderful bed, care and attention, and yesterday you behaved so strangely. Having rewarded the disrespectful attitude toward herself, she said goodbye.

And chatting about being proud of you and writing about admiration is for you. Eat, wear, embrace this nonsense. Everything is verified by deeds, not by chatter. Oh, you’ve already had conversations with him about this and haven’t even talked to him for a week? Promised that he would be sensitive, and makes it even worse? Because the worse things got with you, the more affectionate you were. Draw your own conclusions while you're young.

It was necessary to express resentment - she did the right thing. If you feel remorse, tell him how you would like him to behave in such a situation, and only then kiss him.

No remorse - goodbye! Well, he won’t approve or criticize, so what? Don't be afraid of him. And if you were silent when he didn’t care that you were sick; didn’t listen to your problems, got irritated and offended - expect depression and psychological discomfort. Your self-esteem decreases, and he will assert himself on you, a weakling. Are you afraid of losing him? Then throw it away yourself.

Remember how you defended him or apologized to yourself for his behavior. But she justified it because she believed that she couldn’t, he couldn’t be so callous. Maybe. He doesn't apologize, but you justify him. With him, do you feel less confident than at college or at work? He wanted you to sit at home - a “good girl” with ponytails, no makeup and in jeans. Go to the hairdresser, wear a tight skirt and heels. Buy unusual perfumes!

Angry? Don’t convince yourself that you’re offended; there’s no need for feminine devices—sadness, tears, fear. Do not respond to provocative text messages. And if you have to see each other, and the anger still doesn’t leave you, don’t push it inside. Say what you want. Call me a beast. I allow. You will see, there will be no feeling of emptiness and betrayal. You leave on your own. Does he enjoy being in the midst of your suffering? Enough.

And since you’ve realized everything and listened to me, leave the “unfinished novel in the park on a bench,” and the sooner the better.

If your goal is to get married, a married man is the least suitable person for this.

Now you need to stop making every effort, and if everything collapses, give him the opportunity to prove himself. Either he will start doing something, or he has neither the desire nor the interest.

You can earn gratitude, but not love. When you cry, he takes responsibility for your tears and scolds himself for them, and then gets angry because you stuck a psychological thorn in him. He is confident in himself, but if there are problems at work, he cannot pay attention to relationships. And you two, have I forgotten? You also need to communicate at home. Don’t you understand why he can’t rush into your arms for comfort, forgetting about sorrows and worries? Men have a different knob for switching from feelings to thoughts than we do. He can make love to you and think about work. And that's okay. But when we think, especially out loud, they don’t like it.

How many sleepless nights and shed tears? What you feel for him now is woven from many feelings. Either love, or hate - there is so much in the past. He taught you not to be ashamed of your desires and taught you not to depend on them and on him.

You understand that the feeling that you saw each other in a past life is simply because this very parallel reality of another life is happening right now.

If you choose to remain a mistress and live in hope, well, that’s your right.

But there are still laws that are better never to be broken.

Master the art of not straining yourself unnecessarily.

Don’t chat left and right about your relationship, don’t tell details, especially don’t make things up or embellish.

Entertain yourself, know what to answer him if he once again cannot come to you.

Don’t ask where he was and with whom - this reality is not yours. He ceases to be yours as soon as he ties his shoelaces at the exit of your apartment.

Don't beg for gifts and flowers.

Don't put conditions. Losing is likely. Don’t make demands - again you’re intercepting your wife’s privileges. These are her ways of fighting. Do not confuse.

You can't pry into your personal life. Don’t ask about relationships, don’t advise him on what to do, don’t criticize or be mean by analyzing his wife’s actions. Play fair with her toy.

Get ready to be used as a psychoanalyst, lawyer, nanny, adviser, nurse and mother.

Learn to wait resignedly. The days when he is gone seem empty. All in doubt when choosing manicure polish or new underwear. Also a problem! Oh, will you like it? You try not to think about his wife and children and trust his stories about how he got caught in a marriage network due to stupidity, youth, or getting pregnant.

The fact that he is not going to get a divorce only fuels your interest in him. And the fact that the evening was spent with you, despite the fact that there is so much to do that three people cannot cope, makes me rejoice.

Do not disturb his wife under any circumstances. Do not call. Don't text when you know she's nearby. Try never to come to their house. Don't respond to her negative text messages. She has the right to everything.

If necessary, UNDERSTAND and ACCEPT that you can lose him at any moment if he needs it so much.

Always remember the chain of justice in life. Every person always turns out to be right. This is good. Don't cry or argue. You always have a way out - to leave and slam the door to your common dimension behind you. You are still in it of your own free will.

I’ll tell you another case of how one man broke his mistress’s heart. I recommend thinking about how they can destroy everything on their way to a whim. Imagine...

Like a hurricane, it sweeps away everything in its path. He is confident and strong. He inspires you, stunned by the meeting, that you love him madly and will never be able to stop loving him. There is no time to come to your senses - pressure, adoration, care...

You are the navel of the earth. He kisses your shoes. This has never happened before!

Your husband (if you have one) in his understanding is a lucky man who does not know his happiness. The guy (if you had a lover before) is automatically sent on a free flight with a simple phrase through your mobile phone. He just picked up the phone and said: “Man! There are more than three million women on the planet, call them. Forget this number, otherwise you will deal with me.” Your friend twitched for three weeks, like a pig on a string, and wilted. How can I get to you if every free breath you take is occupied by the passionate kiss of a new hero?!

He doesn’t approach you at first with the desire to have sex, which worries and intrigues women. He waits until your chin starts to shake with desire, and then - OP! You're in seventh heaven! Everything in bed turns out to be better than always.

Then the destroyers usually give time to “re-settle”. They are sad when you are busy. They write: “Okay, okay. Nobody loves me, you forgot me! At first it's funny, but then it's not. He knows everything about you: the number of your lipstick, reads your mood by the color of your eyes, takes you where you need to go, lamenting that this place in the car was intended only for you.

His wife also prefers to ride next to him. “But it can’t be compared!” - he claims.

Of course, he hasn’t slept with his wife for a year. He lives because he loves a child, and did not expect that he would meet the best woman in the world - you!

You will roll your lips. You're waiting for action. But they are not there. And six months. And a year! And more. "Rent an apartment. I will live alone,” you hear. And suddenly your friends leave and rent out the apartment for next to nothing. And for some reason he doesn’t even go to watch it.

You dream of dissolving in him, you are afraid of losing him, you want him entirely for yourself.

You think that the woman who sees him sleeping and smiling at breakfast on Sunday is the happiest, and you envy her. But this should not be done, because there he arranges a showdown and even arranges it so that the wife herself finds out that you are now in his life. Let's skip her hysterics and attacks on you. She has the right to this. Let’s put aside your confidence that you can still run away from the relationship. You think that you are still the master of your emotions. But no! You are automatically drawn into the “tube of stereotypical body movements.” The wife begins a war and fight for her own – for her family and her husband. You are trying to prove that you are better. For what? Then you will understand that you would send him to all fours if you knew that your wife would WIN in your fight for him and he, having apologized (or not apologized), would leave you.

Let her win now! But... you move on, breaking the dry branches of life and injuring the fresh shoots. Like a tank, you move towards a bright future.

Your destroyer is still on horseback. He goes to his mother. Makes your husband aware of your connection and great love. Now your husband is ramming you. Hysterics are no worse than serial soap dramas. He wrings his hands, shouts that he won’t give you money, begs you to come back, promises that he will forgive everything and buy you a new life. Following this, he remembers that you are rubbish, and all these cute scenes from life begin to look like hell...

But happiness is ahead! (You think so.) And now the beloved destroyer of your life is methodically beginning to “pour in” what a freak your husband is. Either old and fat, or greedy and inattentive...

If you are still in doubt, for example, you are thinking about children and are considering whether to reconcile with your spouse, the destroyer may even plan a trip together with the words: “Let’s run away from everyone!”

And you believe, my poor thing, that this “Lezginka” in front of you at sea will continue forever. HAHA!

You bought him a sweater. You are talking about children. You announce to your husband that you are leaving. Screech! Scream! Let's skip the fighting and division of property.

The story ended like this.

This girl was dragged to my appointment by her friends when, after a suicide attempt (with a theatrical farewell, of course!) they reached her apartment, where she was mourning her present across the bed. The lover provoked a slight scandal and returned to his wife. Our heroine’s husband, it turns out, successfully complained about his life to his lonely student neighbor, and she happily settled with him in their apartment. The husband has a new love, and he laughs at the proposal to get back together and try everything again.

The child is with a mother who communicates with her son-in-law, but not with her own daughter (of course! She forgot about everything, plunged headlong into passion!). When trying to call his “beloved one” on his mobile phone, he always receives a portion of choice swearing from the lucky winner.

And what should I do with it?

Do you think you can scold her now? No. She still hopes for happiness, she is ready to wait. She does not ask for harmony in the house, she wants either to take revenge or to destroy everything further if there is no way to be happy.

This is where you need a psychologist, psychotherapist or a competent priest!

I had to tell her: “Stop, open the chapter “Emptiness” and pull yourself together. I beg you, don't do anything else. Get out of the stereotype of behavior. Get a job and throw yourself into it. Take the child from the mother. Maybe the student will do something stupid, maybe the child will reconcile you and you will be able to restore your family. Maybe the winning wife will get tired of celebrating after a couple of months, because he loved you and, of course, he is “covered” emotionally. Maybe your lover will come to his senses and come to your knees?! Who knows?

There is no need to blame yourself for everything. Suicide? Funny. You're not Katerina, to go off the cliff. Not Anna Karenina. It already was. Not original. Only time will save.

He turned out to be a dream man with a “smell.” That's what the eyes saw that they bought. Beware of the first impression, for it is the right one.”

→ Nika Nabokova → Confession of a former lover. From wrong love to real love

Nika Nabokova

Pages: 124

Estimated reading time: 2 hours

Year of publication: 2017

Russian language

Started reading: 2374

Description:

“Confession of a former lover. From wrong love to real love” is a rather interesting book by Nika Nabokova, which belongs to the genre of practical and family psychology.
Sometimes, and this “sometimes” happens quite often, life presents us with painful “surprises” that are simply impossible to bear. And from the intricacy of these surprises, everyone would fall into a stupor.
But, no matter how bad we feel from these surprises, everything is in our hands. And it is we who decide what to do: suffer or enjoy what is happening. Yes, yes, you heard right, enjoy! After all, you can turn everything that happens in your direction, to your advantage!
So, this is the story that the author actually shares with his readers and will teach you this!
And, believe me, she will teach you this in a fairly simple, understandable, accessible way.
Interested?
Then go ahead, break all stereotypes regarding unpleasant surprises!

Age limit: 18+

Confession of a former lover. From wrong love to real love Nika Nabokova

(No ratings yet)

Title: Confession of a former lover. From wrong love to real love

About the book “Confession of a former lover. From wrong love to real love" by Nika Nabokov

When life presents us with a “surprise” in the form of painful, unbearable, confusing situations, we fall into a stupor. And then we have a choice: complain and suffer or turn everything that happens to our advantage.

The story that Nika Nabokova shares with readers is about the second option. This book is a simple, accessible, understandable story about how to find strength in yourself, how to start “raising your head,” how to direct your suffering in the right direction, how to take care of your moral state, find yourself, pick up the pieces and make a name for it .

Personal experience and correct, eco-friendly psychological recommendations, easy explanations of everything that is happening and, of course, support.

On our website about books lifeinbooks.net you can download for free or read online the book “Confession of a Former Lover. From wrong love to real love" by Nika Nabokov in epub, fb2, txt, rtf, pdf formats for iPad, iPhone, Android and Kindle. The book will give you a lot of pleasant moments and real pleasure from reading. You can buy the full version from our partner. Also, here you will find the latest news from the literary world, learn the biography of your favorite authors. For beginning writers, there is a separate section with useful tips and tricks, interesting articles, thanks to which you yourself can try your hand at literary crafts.

Having lived for 27 years in relative friendship with my own head, having received 2 higher educations, having earned a certain authority in the professional community, money for a car and an annual vacation, I probably thought that life was boring and I had few problems in this life... Emotions and feelings , by the way, was also missing.
And everything happened - suddenly, seemingly by chance and very unexpectedly, as if by the wave of a magic wand. Something happened that I had always sworn off and was sure would happen to anyone, but it would never happen to me. I’m smart, I know everything and understand that this is unacceptable for my life.

It may be strange, but I never believed in love, in my love, although somewhere very deep in my soul, of course, I dreamed about it. I always knew for sure that somewhere in this world, where 7 billion people live, there is MY man, 100% or even 200% mine, so that he is like that, without any complaints on my part at all. So that neither his football, nor his socks, nor his relatives, nor his manner of holding a spoon or driving a car - so that nothing irritates him. I knew that I would really appreciate him, cherish him, miss him and wait for the next meeting, but in any case, all his qualities would be just a set of pluses for me, complemented by his feelings for me. And that's it, nothing more. But, as you know, you cannot renounce the scrip and prison. Fate always rules as it pleases. I fell in love. Strongly. Scary. Reckless. Undoubtedly. To the point of complete insanity. In a married man.

I have never given my phone number to married people, I have never communicated with them on personal topics, I have never, not once in my life, met them even for 5 minutes. And when they asked me: “I hope my marriage won’t prevent us from having a cup of coffee?”, I always answered sharply that it would really interfere. Because a married man is someone else's man. And there are enough free comrades for my life. That's how I always thought and lived like that.

This copy did not inform me about the presence of a stamp in the passport and a pregnant wife at home. And all his behavior screamed to me that the man was free! And how could he be already busy with someone, if I felt with every cell of my body that he was my man, truly mine?! It was not in vain that I waited for him for so many years and believed that he was somewhere! In general, I just fell in love. The euphoria from the anticipation of many years to come, both in sorrow and in joy, ended one day at five in the morning, when we were sitting together in the kitchen and he, quite casually, said: “I’m married, yes.” But I didn’t believe it, imagine, I seriously didn’t believe it.

After all, this is my man. And he can't be married.

Every kind and kind of cat in the soul, an incredible desire to howl at the moon and at the light bulb in the apartment, to simply choke yourself from your own tears and from self-pity (a disgusting feeling, I tell you), complete devastation and loss of all interest in work, friends, life in general - the state of a vegetable, no less - this is how I lived after that morning confession, which I still had to believe.

And he understood everything. Without words. Because we simply understood each other without words. Yes, I couldn’t and didn’t want to part with him: without him I would have been a hundred times worse off than with him. We never discussed each other’s personal lives: there was nothing to talk about mine, because there were no more men interesting to me in this world. It was pointless to talk about his family life, because what I thought about in my loneliness was more than enough for me. I imagined how he stroked her belly, where their unborn child was pushing, how they discussed everyday issues in the evenings, how they had dinner together and watched TV, went to visit friends and went to their parents...

I cried every day and after every meeting when he closed the door behind him. I didn’t fall asleep without sedatives and woke up with them. I looked at the phone screen every second because I was waiting for a call or SMS, or at least an emoticon. I dropped everything and flew to him at his first call.

By the way, he clearly told me that he loves his wife and will never leave her, because a wife is a wife, she is forever. And other girls are there to make their eyes sparkle, because a normal man is polygamous, and in general, he does not believe in families where both spouses are faithful. They don't live long, as they say.

The most terrible days were the holidays - New Year, birthday, March 8, Easter. I, sitting at the table with my family, felt universal sadness and was the loneliest person in the world, but he raised a glass in the warm circle of close people, where no one was lonely. I could only wait for his call, stealthily from his wife, or a nice SMS message. And be happy about it. Which I did completely sincerely.

During the year of our relationship, I tried several times to establish contact with other men, left, did not answer his calls, but it was all to no avail. One day he sat me down on a stool in the kitchen, sat opposite me and said: “I won’t give you to anyone. You don’t even have to get ready. It’s just that everything was fine before, and then I fell in love. And now everything is not very good.”

You know, this feeling of universal harmony and endless happiness - when you hug him, prepare dinner for him, call him to the table, tell him how your day went, complain about fools on the road - cannot be replaced by anything. And it’s also not so easy to convey in words. It’s unrealistic to discuss political and economic news in the evenings, huddled comfortably together and looking at one monitor, to drive somewhere in the rain at 2 a.m. because the car has broken down, to feed the ducks on the embankment - it’s unrealistically great to do all this together.

But love is love, and a wife is a wife, so he will never radically change his marital status or anything else in this life. However, only he raised this topic in conversations; I had no intention of ruining someone else’s family. “Love is wonderful,” he convinced either me or himself. He says we should be glad that fate gave us both these emotions.

What about the wife? Doesn't he see, doesn't he understand? He probably doesn’t see, doesn’t understand. Or he doesn’t want to see and understand. He still comes back to her. And I am left alone with my love. But this feeling, which brought me so much suffering and took away an unreal number of nerve cells, warms me and gives me faith that everything will be fine.”
: alpha.yaplakal.com

Hi all!

Today is the first time I’m writing a review of a book, so please don’t judge too harshly.

For the first time on the author of this book - Nick Nabokov- I came across it on Instagram. I was interested in her blog page. There she openly declared that she was a lover (she was at that time), but that was not what attracted me to her. And very interesting (and in my opinion) intelligent posts.

She herself is a psychologist by training, so like her books, she runs her Instagram from the point of view of psychology.

Nika Nabokova is a popular blogger whose provocative and frank blog was visited by more than 300,000 people in the first year of its existence. Nika Nabokova is a provocative and outspoken, beautiful young woman with a brain that can...

A friend gave me her first book, I read it in 2 days. I liked it very much, I literally force my friends to read it by slipping it to them.

Actually, that’s why I prepared the second part, the one I’m reviewing about.

Price- 332r (if without discounts)

Number of pages - 320

Description of the book

When life presents us with a “surprise” in the form of painful, unbearable, confusing situations, we fall into a stupor. And then we have a choice: complain and suffer or turn everything that happens to our advantage.
The story that Nika Nabokova shares with readers is about the second option. This book is a simple, accessible, understandable story about how to find strength in yourself, how to start “raising your head,” how to direct your suffering in the right direction, how to take care of your moral state, find yourself, pick up the pieces and make a name for it .
Personal experience and correct, eco-friendly psychological recommendations, easy explanations of everything that is happening and, of course, support.

I would like to immediately note that the first and this (second book) are a little drawn out. It is not stretched out in plan, it is difficult to read, and there is not much text in the plan, but it is stretched out due to the large font and many chapters.

As you already understood, Nika talks about her relationship with a married man.

The chapter of her story, the next chapter is like a theory or something, written not on behalf of a woman, but on behalf of a psychologist.

I believe that in general, it doesn’t even matter whether her man was married or not, a man can be unlucky (I don’t know how to write the word starting with the letter M in a cultural manner). And relationships can be toxic with single guys too.

Generally speaking, let’s assume that a girl, for example, dated an unmarried man for 3 years, but the relationship was frankly bad and brought a lot of pain and suffering. And another girl dated a married man for the same 3 years, but was much happier. So what’s better here, and what’s worse, I don’t know....

I think many girls have gone through this and recognize themselves in this book.

The book is very emotional , several times I, frankly, cried.

From how similar our experiences as women are. And about “curling up on the bath mat in pain” and about much more.

In this book Nika describes my history from the beginning until the breakup and how she got out of it all.

The book says a lot about unhealthy love and neurotic relationships.

She is trying to figure out why we join them and why we stay there.

What I liked The book has very clear recommendations on exactly what to do and how to do it in order to find the reasons in yourself and deal with them.

I have married friends in whom I clearly recognize this. Constant complaints, whining, but the person doesn’t leave and doesn’t want to change anything .He just likes that he is a victim, and everyone rushes to help him. It seems like there is movement, life is in full swing.

And in the book, Nika tries to convey to us that, first of all, we need to pay attention to ourselves. Not why HE, but why ME?

In my opinion, a very correct approach, because in addition to relationships, women have many other resources that should not be forgotten.

And, of course, there are many such moments that relate specifically to married dogs.

I really liked the chapter about Babiatnik.

In it, Nika describes the behavior of 90% of wives, namely the behavior "bazaar woman" When they call, threaten, and blame their mistress for everything.

And, unfortunately, I saw this with my own eyes from my friend. When the adventures of her loved one were revealed, she organized this very Babyatnik, calling with threats to another girl. By the way, this ended with hidden aggression towards her, since that girl successfully left, and her husband subconsciously became angry with her for this.

If in this book you are looking for advice on “how to take away a married man” or “how to get more money from your lover,” then you will not find advice in this book.

Reading the book, you feel that Nika loved her man very much, and she speaks very warmly about him. But, with his lies and throwing around, he killed all the love, as usually happens.

By the way, if you are interested, he still divorced his wife, but she no longer needed it

In general, the book is both very easy to read, and at the same time makes you slow down, think, and re-read several times.

I think all girls will find this book useful, I recommend it.