Love fades away at a distance. Long distance relationships: how to maintain love. Sad poems about unhappy love to tears - Touching the strings of the soul lines of poems
Difficult text to edit and post in order to preserve the author's style. It was written by a woman, but it was interesting for me to read and think about it. There are a lot of letters, but it’s easy to read...
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Stories, stories about love at a distance. Is it possible, is there such love? How to maintain love through distance?
An unusual love story... You are far from each other, you communicate only on the Internet. But a real feeling has already arisen between you, which will eclipse the whole world. Is there love at a distance? I’ll answer this: for some – yes, but for others – no.
One way or another, love is more beautiful than anything beautiful on earth. And how it unexpectedly comes into hearts, how it knows how to cover with a wave and absorb everything in its path...
Emails fly endlessly, various chats do not stop, the hand never tires of writing lines of love poems, the soul and heart sing, merging together, from the thoughts of that half who is so far away now, but at the same time so close...
Stories, stories about love at a distance. Is there such a love and how to preserve it?
Psychology of love at a distance. A couple of years ago I didn’t believe in such love. In general, I was very skeptical and sometimes even mocking about Internet dating. I loved reality and lived in it, using the virtual world as a means of relaxation and information exchange.
One day, He knocked on the chat. Everything is as usual: acquaintance, communication, “duty” phrases…. But then we exchanged photos and the ground disappeared from under our feet... I fell in love! I fell in love like never before. This feeling was probably my first and only love.
Love at a distance and through distance. Love on the Internet.
Somehow I got a little distracted and completely forgot to tell you about what types of Internet love there are.
Love by correspondence. It's simple: you fall in love with letters. In the manner of writing a letter, in letters, in phrases.... It seems to you that the person who is “hiding” behind the lines of the email is the hero of your novel.
Love starts with "sometimes". This is the case when you meet somewhere on vacation, have a great time and agree to meet again. Well, accordingly, you maintain communication via the Internet.
Online is love. Yes, we are talking about chats. Nowadays, they are very popular. And it has become much easier to meet people via chat than in real life. This is how love is born from “emoticons”.
By the way, are you aware that Scottish scientists have created a special device that simulates touch. Rings are placed on the bodies of women and men that react to the slightest touch. They are transmitted instantly from woman to man.
Is there still meaning in long-distance love? If you have the patience, check it out. Anything can happen. It is impossible to predict anything here one hundred percent. Those who have experienced disappointment in such love claim, of course, that it does not exist. And those who are already married and happy in their marriage idolize the Internet and are ready to shout to the whole world that love at a distance exists.
The only downside to all this o: considerable financial costs (travel, gifts and souvenirs, tickets). However, naturally, no one thinks about this. Love. What could be more important and more expensive? “Spreading the wings of love,” people who love each other rush through thousands of kilometers and obstacles to meet. You need to experience this feeling to understand how strong and “burning” it is.
It all starts out trite, of course., romantic, and according to the same scenario. After a long conversation (and sometimes even a very short one), people meet. The meeting takes place either at her home, or at his place, or even somewhere on neutral territory. And after the meeting - 2 options for the rapid development of events. It happens that a person falls in love with one person, but when they meet, it turns out that he is not at all like that (either the photo failed, or the feelings were simply confused). It happens that everything ends with a wedding: flowers, courtship, romance, gifts, confessions and vows of eternal love... Everything is beautiful, like in a movie. This, by the way, was the case with a very good friend of mine. They met on the Internet, talked. Then she took her daughter and moved to live with him, in a completely different country. They got married and now live very happily. It would be good if the story of online lovers ends this way, and not in some sad and ugly way.
Believe in love, despite the distance, but be prepared for any turn of events. Make plans, dream, but remember that anything can happen. Be realistic, then, if something happens, you will not be so hurt and not so offended. While you have the opportunity, live with your loved one, dissolve in him and don’t think all the time that something bad might happen. Whether you are destined to be together or not, your meeting is not accidental, it happened for a reason. Perhaps in order to understand something and reconsider your life positions and views.
Remember: it is not distance that brings people together, as many people believe, but proximity that brings people together. Therefore, try, despite the kilometers, to see each other as often as possible, so as not to let the flame of love “go out” (unless, of course, it is confused with falling in love). Don't swear, don't quarrel, don't shower each other with reproaches. After all, you have been waiting for this meeting for so long, dreaming about it so much. Why now darken it with all sorts of unnecessary words? Touches, hugs, kisses, glances.... This is what is so missing in these exciting, long-awaited minutes (even seconds). Don't pay attention to the rain: it is happy for you. Don't mind the cold: you will be warmed by each other. You are together again. This is perhaps the most important thing in the “period of unceasing hearts.”
Live, feel, feel, love, enjoy!
And now about passion, for those who are looking for passion:
Passion for photography. Camera in hand - the world has flown. A person who loves to take photographs, in general, does not need anything other than photographs. Beautiful landscapes, unusual angles, natural beauty... Everything that “fits” in the camera is an unearthly, priceless treasure for a person passionate about the art of photography. By the way, I know one “photomaniac”. Even at twenty-eight, he is not going to get married, because he believes that a woman will greatly interfere with his hobby. He recently opened a workshop and bought a very expensive camera. This is how the happiest people on earth appear.
Passion between a man and a woman. Female and male passion.
But there is a passion that is more interesting, more pleasant and more mysterious: the passion of a man and a woman... How, immediately after writing these words, the lines gave off a whiff of romance and tenderness... There is so much of it that even the eyes reading this begin to dream of passion. Let's give your eyes a little passion and romantic mood. Just don’t get too carried away: reading about passion and experiencing it are two big differences that cannot be compared.
Passion is very often confused with love. But this cannot be done: love and passion go side by side, and are not synonymous. I'll try to explain the difference.
Love is a feeling that loves to give. She is selfless, pure, immaculate and light. When you love, you do anything for the sake of your loved one. When you love, reciprocity is not a necessary component of the feeling. People who love “grow wings.” These wings are invisible, but they carry a person in love high, beyond the clouds.
Passion- a wonderful, but selfish feeling. It “takes” everything from a person: time, space, thoughts, sensations, consciousness, inner world..... And it does not exist without reciprocity. It is reciprocity that gives rise to passion. It is like fire, an endless, incredibly powerful flame that burns everything in its path. It's very difficult not to get burned in it. If this is familiar to you, you will understand the meaning of each word and feel it.
Passion is like a candle that lights up quickly, but can just as quickly go out with a breeze. You never predict the moment when passion will “say goodbye” and disappear.
A woman's passion for a man. Women's passion.
Women's passion is easier to maintain for a longer time. She can live with the help of love. When a woman falls in love, she does everything so that her feelings are in perfect harmony with each other and do not “kill” each other. When a woman feels that passion is cooling, she “conjures” the following:
She devotes more of her attention and time to her chosen one. She already tries to always be around, but here is a special occasion that must not be missed.
See friends and acquaintances less often. Someone understands her such behavior, someone condemns her, believing that it is impossible to exchange friends for a man. But she simply has no other choice or exit.
Tries not to stay late at work on the occasion of a corporate party. It cannot be said that she is a lover of a quiet life. Many women simply cannot live without holidays
He writes beautiful messages to his beloved, in which he touches on the topic of love and its relationship to him. Women, as a rule, know how to write beautifully. And not just messages to a mobile phone. Remember how many of you wrote down everything that happened to you in your personal diary and hid it so that no one would “stole” secret information from it.
He often remembers the first meeting, the first kiss, and romantic moments. In general, it’s sad to admit that, most often, it is the woman who remembers such moments. A man prefers to live exclusively in the present and future.
Conducts intimate experiments in bed. Perhaps this moment is more than pleasant for a man. By the way, statistics claim that many males adore various products from intimate stores. But the huge minus here is that not all “lovely creatures” understand and accept such “adoration.”
A man's passion for a woman. Male passion.
A man has a different passion. He experiences it by being close to every woman he likes. What cannot be said about women: when they fall in love, they keep this passion, carrying it even through many years. Not everyone is like that, of course. I'm talking about those women and girls who know how to truly love.
Passion is not very important for a man in his intimate life. For him, the main factor is sympathy for the woman with whom he is in a relationship. Does he care about reciprocity? Yes, but he is not dominant.
Both men and women know that passion is not an eternal feeling. And when the moment comes when it is no longer possible to return it with any “tricks,” they compensate for the feeling of passion with love, which still burns (or tries to burn) in their hearts.
Passion cannot be bought or artificially created. She either exists or she doesn’t. Without love, of course, it is more difficult to live than without passion. However, there are many men and women for whom passion is an unusual and necessary drug. Passion in the eyes, facial features, facial expressions and gestures is important for them. When she is gone, it begins to seem to them that the feelings have passed, and there is no point in continuing the relationship.
Everyone has their own priorities. You can't argue with them, you can't change them. And this, strictly speaking, is of no use: passion is not a construction set, and not plasticine from which you can mold anything you want, whenever you want. But when LOVE is combined with PASSION, it is of course a huge force.
P.S. It turns out that love is not only a state of mind that can be experienced in relation to a person, but also a necessary state for performing certain actions... and much, much more.
There is a funny Jewish parable on this topic:
“A teenager came to Rabbi Levi and groaned sorrowfully:
- Rabbi! Why doesn't anyone love me, especially girls?
And the rabbi answered him:
“Because you don’t love anyone, especially yourself.”
Is your loved one far away? Are you bored, but a long-distance relationship is the only currently available way to communicate with your loved one? How to be and what to do? If you are tormented by these questions, you should think about how to maintain this relationship and not lose passion, not let it fade away.
Separation is good for any relationship. Believe that the stronger your love, the more you will appreciate the person who is waiting for you several hundred or thousand miles away. This is almost the only advantage of long-distance relationships.
Love or passion at a distance
But separation in a relationship gives new sensations. You start to miss the person. For example, before your loved one was far away, you were used to seeing each other every day or even lived together. And then he leaves. What happens in our heart? A strange feeling arises in him - it seems like he has a loved one, but something is missing. Most often, a void begins to form, you begin to get bored, overestimate your relationships and your whole life.
In this state, you begin to understand exactly whether you cherish these feelings that were between you, whether you love a person or not, and whether you can continue to live without him? Don’t be afraid to ask yourself one question, which sounds like this: “Maybe this is not my person? If at a distance you feel good without him? And give yourself an honest answer. Distance always puts everything in its place.
Calls, SMS, Internet. Today there are so many technical possibilities to bridge the distance between loved ones that separation may not be felt. The only thing is that you will miss the warmth of a person, but in everything else you can be in touch almost 24 hours a day.
Love or passion at a distance: how to figure it out
What should I do? It all depends on both of you and your mutual desire to preserve your feelings. If you understand that the distance separation will be only two weeks, a month or six months, this is not so scary. But if you are apart for a year or two, then you should in any case discuss who will come to whom, when, and possibly move during that period. And this is needed for emotional support, and for sexual support. After all, no one can be alone for a long time. And betrayal... Are you ready to forgive betrayal?
Love or passion at a distance video
Psychologists say that if separation lasts for a long time, then no matter how strong the relationship is, it will fade away. Develop other options, such as considering moving.
Do you need to suffer if your loved one is far away? Not at all. This is the worst thing you can do. For example, you have free evenings. What to do? Well, definitely don’t lie on the bed and cry about how bad you feel without a man. It’s better to devote this time to your own development, go to the gym, fitness clubs, learn languages, attend dances, etc. And this way you will learn something new, and then you will pleasantly surprise your soulmate.
Long-distance relationships are a difficult stage in love, but if you overcome it courageously, then your love was truly sincere, and it will develop further. All you need, as we have already said, is a mutual desire to preserve your feelings, despite a distance of hundreds and thousands of kilometers.
There are days when you need your loved one to hold you. Words in the messenger are not enough, you want a physical presence here and now. But this is impossible. It's not because he doesn't want to be with you that distance separates you. I understand these feelings, because such relationships were once my reality.
We have known each other since our youth, but have not communicated for a long time. Then we found each other through Facebook. I lived in our hometown, he moved. It turned out that both were recently divorced. When he wrote that he would come to visit his parents, who lived not far from me, we agreed to meet, and she immediately decided everything.
We realized that we want to be together. We were not frightened by the distance that separated us; on the contrary, it gave the relationship air and the opportunity to realize the feeling that gripped us. It was important to both of us.
Many people believe that forced distance ultimately ruins relationships, but I don't think so. If your union is not destined to withstand the first difficulties, it will fall apart in any case. Distance has given us many moments that we would not have experienced under other circumstances.
I will never forget the delight that overwhelmed me on the plane on the way to my loved one. And that happy heartbeat when I saw him in the crowd greeting him with a sign “I love you, Miss Criss.” Finding ourselves together, we enjoyed every minute, simple everyday things.
Probably, such relationships are not suitable for people who become dependent on a partner, or for those who do not know how to trust and torment themselves with jealousy. This is only a temporary phase and you should have a plan for your future life together. Then the distance can give many happy moments, the memories of which will warm the relationship. It is important to follow the rules of this game.
Stay connected
We started a tradition of calling each other on Skype at the end of the day and telling them how the day went. This is necessary for the relationship, but important if you are currently far away. Probably because we didn't see each other all the time, conversations were especially precious for both of us. We tried to meet regularly, and if possible, we saw each other in between.
Let it be a game
As in any budding love relationship, anticipation of meetings and sex are the waves on which lovers float. This sparkling, detached from reality time does not last forever. Don’t hold back – send any evidence that you miss him and are thinking about him. This will fuel the connection. And in the moments of meeting you will say thank you to the distance that gave such emotions.
Follow the meeting plan
If a lover suddenly announces that he cannot meet, this is often painfully perceived by the other half. Unforeseen circumstances disrupt plans: you may get sick or go on an urgent business trip. But when the planned meeting schedule changes too often, it gives the partner the feeling that he is not as important as before.
Be open
Dialogue is important in relationships. When distance separates you, the ability to be attentive, listen and hear your partner turns out to be the most important key to ensuring that the union finds a future. The ability to talk about everything openly, without leaving unresolved issues until better times, creates trust, thanks to which relationships exist and develop.
And at the end of the day, be sure to confess your love to each other. Let these few precious words complete your communication every evening.
The fact that love at a distance really exists is evidenced by correspondence between great people. Among them are the great French novelist Honore de Balzac and his beloved Evelina Ganskaya, the famous English playwright George Bernard Shaw and the brilliant actress Stella Patrick Campbell, the great Russian poets Marina Ivanovna Tsvetaeva and Boris Leonidovich Pasternak. There are many other examples.
Love and modern technology
Today, modern technologies come to the aid of lovers. They can correspond on social networks, exchange gentle SMS messages, talk for hours on a mobile phone. If it becomes impossible to live without seeing each other, a fast plane will take you to your loved one in a short time.Sometimes love happens at a distance from the very beginning. People meet on the Internet, plunge headlong into romance, and think that they have managed to find their ideal. However, in such relationships there is a danger of mistaking only a dream about it for true love. In addition, on the Internet people often pretend to be someone other than who they really are. As a result, meeting in real life can only bring bitter disappointment. There is also a risk of becoming a victim of a maniac or marriage swindler.
However, long-distance love can also have its advantages. If a person is lonely and unsure of himself, even virtual relationships will become his salvation from emptiness and loneliness, a source of positive emotions. The main thing is not to get too carried away and confuse the real world with the imagined one.
Love and separation
If feelings arose in real life, and people truly love each other, a long separation turns into a difficult test for them. In addition, uninvited thoughts about the possible betrayal of a loved one begin to come to mind. There is no need to torment your chosen one with constant checks: often mistrust kills even the strongest love. However, leaving your loved one completely unattended is also not worth it. You can always find a way of communication that will be convenient and comfortable for both. True love is not afraid of any barriers or distances. Separation may even strengthen her, making her appreciate every moment spent with her loved one. The main thing is that it does not drag on for many years. After all, the habit of constantly being at a distance from each other can cool even the strongest and most sincere feelings.Sometimes it happens that a loved one is far away. Family circumstances, work, waiting for a visa - all this can be a temporary obstacle to the reunion of two people in love. But in any case, action is better than being sad about separation.
You will need
- paper, pen, glue, old magazines, camera, video camera, mobile phone, computer with Internet access.
Instructions
If your lover is far away, if he will not return tomorrow and you have some free time, you should use it to benefit yourself and your relationship. Often separation is beneficial, because if you direct energy in a positive direction, life is filled with new meanings. The main thing is a creative approach to business.
Stay in touch. If your loved one has access to , you can send him messages every day. But alas, text messages can get boring, since in essence there will be one: “I love you. I miss you. I’m waiting.” You can call on the classics for help. The most successful love themes can be found in Shakespeare’s sonnets, in Pushkin’s poetry, and among the romantics. The great ones will express your thoughts most accurately. Alternatively, send your loved one photographs of places you have been. Choose the best angles and objects to shoot. Don't send photos of yourself often. Moderation in this will help you maintain balance and increase joy.
Get creative. The energy released due to separation from a loved one can be directed in a positive direction: now is the time to start learning a foreign language, sign up for a belly dance class, embroider a scarf, or even make repairs. The most important thing is to feel what exactly will help you spend your time profitably and present the result to your lover. Any man will be surprised by a warm cherry pie, a beautiful song with a guitar or a colorful collage “Scenes from our lives” on the wall.
Devote time to your family and friends. Now the moment has come in your life when you can remember your friends whom you have been meaning to meet for a long time. A visit to your parents, sister or favorite teacher should also not be put off for long. In private, it can be easier to have a heart-to-heart talk, fool around, discuss personal problems that could tire your friend if he were nearby.
Be alone with yourself. Finally, organize a holiday for yourself: go to a beauty salon, to a concert, or take a walk in the forest. And finally, meet your loved one with new strength and old strong feelings!
note
Focus on the situation, treat your separation creatively, invent your personal traditions and surprises. Surprise!
Helpful advice
You can send a letter by mail. A paper message is always a priority: since the Middle Ages, lovers have exchanged messages via pigeon mail, messengers, etc.
Sources:
- Aphorisms about love
Few people believe in love at a distance. This skepticism is fueled by personal experience, observation of the relationships of acquaintances, and other examples. However, life practice also speaks of something else: there are couples who preserved their love during the period of separation, despite the distance of thousands of kilometers. What is their secret?
Instructions
Due to certain life circumstances (army, study, work, business trip, etc.) you have to be separated from people for some time. If the course of events cannot be changed, you should simply accept the situation and see the positive aspects in it.
Communicate. Fortunately, we are not in the Middle Ages; we have mobile phones and the Internet at our disposal (social networks, Skype, ICQ, etc.). Share the main events of each day with your loved one. Don't forget to say good night and good morning.
Be positive, don't let jealousy take over your thoughts, don't try to control your loved one (or loved one), but participate in his (or her) life.
Surround yourself with things (photos, souvenirs, CDs with your common favorite songs, etc.) that would constantly remind you of the person dear to you. Write real letters to each other (by mail). It’s romantic, and besides, in a letter you can say things that you often don’t dare to say in a personal meeting.
Give gifts. Simply, for no reason. Everyone loves pleasant surprises. Let you have a perfume that your loved one knows. When he hears a familiar aroma, the associations themselves will lead him to your image.
Take advantage of every meeting opportunity. Think about your loved one more often. People are endowed with the ability to feel a close soul distance.
If doubts suddenly creep in about the future of the relationship, support your loved one.
Let the faith that you will overcome the temporary separation not leave you, and let the wait be rewarded with a meeting.
Video on the topic
Helpful advice
Popular wisdom says that love is tested by distance. Take this phrase into account and prove that your feelings will pass this test perfectly and will be an example for other couples.
Many people, especially at a young age, do not know how to distinguish love from being in love. Love is a deep, strong feeling based on emotional attachment and sexual attraction. Falling in love is euphoric, but short-lived, and does not always give rise to a long-term relationship. How can you understand whether you love a person or just feel in love with him?
Instructions
Analyze the feelings and emotions you are experiencing. At first it will be quite difficult to do this, because he is overwhelmed with strong positive emotions, he is in a state of euphoria, which can abruptly give way to melancholy if the feelings are not mutual, or something does not go the way he wants.
Evaluate soberly where your partner’s happiness and convenience rank for you. A person in love most often thinks about himself, that he feels good with his loved one, but feels bad alone. Real strong feelings, unlike falling in love, make you think first of all about the happiness, comfort, and well-being of your loved one.
Notice how you behave if your partner has difficulties and problems. Are you always ready to help him by postponing important matters for later? A person in love is sometimes selfish. His euphoria noticeably decreases when problems arise or his loved one needs help. Love is tested by trials, difficulties, problems that partners go through together.
An excellent means of your feelings are distance and time. This does not mean that you should stop communicating with the object of your feelings for no reason. But if a situation arises that he or you need to go far away for some time, do not be sad. Know that true love will withstand any separation, and if feelings are superficial, they will sooner or later subside even with frequent meetings.
Think about the sincerity of your feelings if you are overwhelmed by too strong emotions. This is especially true for young people. Sometimes it happens that, being rejected, boys and girls fall into severe depression and even think about suicide. The reason for this is not unhappy love, but a contrived love, similar to intoxication. They don’t die for true love, they live for it.
Try to look for flaws in your loved one. Even if you don’t see them, they are still there, just like other people. Ask a loved one to help you in this matter. Falling in love is characterized by the fact that you do not see any flaws in your partner. If you notice the negative traits of your other half, but are ready to put up with them and help correct them, then this indicates that you are experiencing stronger feelings.
Don't forget that love is not a feeling that you don't have to work on. Love must be protected and preserved, improving relationships with a loved one. Love can be compared to working on yourself and your feelings. If you are ready to unite your life with your loved one forever, accepting and respecting not only him, but also his family, his hobbies and hobbies, his strengths and weaknesses, then we can congratulate you, you are experiencing a deep, strong and a soul-ennobling feeling.
note
How to understand whether a man loves you or not? A man and a woman met and started dating - this is a beautiful, romantic period when a man gives gifts and flowers, organizes trips to the cinema and theaters, invites you to dinner in a cozy cafe, etc. And now the courtship period ends, the man and woman understand that they love each other and decide to live together.
Helpful advice
How to understand that you are loved? The most reliable way to find out is to hear sincere confessions. Fortune telling with chamomile, cards, candles, mirrors, and other mystical rituals are uninformative methods in this regard. So until the moment of recognition you will have to endure a little painful uncertainty. You can speculate whether he loves you or not, but you probably won’t be able to know.
Sources:
- How can I tell if a guy loved me or not?
Tip 5: How to say I love you without saying the word I love you in 2017
Love is without a doubt a wonderful feeling. However, declaring love, especially to young and impressionable people, can sometimes be very difficult. And this applies equally to both girls and boys. How can you talk about love without saying the word “love”?
Instructions
Actions speak about feelings much better than words. Support the object of your affection in difficult situations, show signs of attention. Give your loved one only positive emotions so that he feels your affection and knows that you will always listen to him and help him.
Give a Valentine. A small postcard will speak very unambiguously about your feelings. And you don't have to wait until Valentine's Day to give a gift! In addition to Valentine's cards, you can give any souvenir that is also associated with tender feelings, for example, kissing doves.
Kiss your loved one. It is best, of course, if this happens in a romantic setting. And the easiest way to do this is if it is customary in your company to accompany the greeting. In this case, you need to turn the friendly into romantic or passionate.
Give compliments. It is impossible not to feel sincere admiration for a person, and the object of adoration will quickly guess about your love.
Give your loved one a surprise. This could be a gift, an invitation to a romantic evening, a movie ticket to a film that he has long wanted to see. Such care will definitely touch your lover.
Give flowers. The language of flowers is ideal for declaring love without words. And don’t worry that your lover doesn’t know this language - most people understand it on an intuitive level. Red flowers speak of love and passion. If a girl cannot give flowers to her lover, she should decorate her hair or dress with them before the meeting.
Video on the topic
Helpful advice
Naturally, all these actions should be unobtrusive and delicate, otherwise your loved one can only be pushed away.
Often, due to various circumstances, partners have to leave their loved one to another city, another country and live far away. In order to keep your love when he is not around, you need to be patient and learn to trust. Only strong love will withstand such a test, and time will put everything in its place.
Instructions
If your loved one needs to go away for a while, don't worry. A short separation, as a rule, only strengthens the relationship. Keep in touch with your partner, but don't overdo it. Excessive control can be harmful. Put yourself in his shoes. Imagine how pleasant it would be for you to listen to scenes of jealousy over the phone. Your frequent calls may simply bore your loved one, and he will decide to break up with you. Everything should be in moderation. Therefore, control your emotions and actions.
Consider that love is possible. This is how many couples test the strength of their relationship. But a long separation can also harm partners, as people become unaccustomed to each other, they develop new acquaintances and interests. And the loved one becomes a thing of the past.
Try to trust each other. This is the basis of the relationship between a man and a woman. About one or two months of separation strengthens love. After such a vacation, as a rule, the meeting is very warm, passion flares up, and the partners understand how bad they felt without their loved one.
If you understand that you cannot live without your partner, keep in mind that it is not the person who is loved, but often the image created in your imagination. Many shortcomings are smoothed out, and advantages are exaggerated. You can make the right decision only when you meet your partner after separation.
If during separation you realized that you do not need the person with whom you have been all this time, do not rush to part ways. Try to preserve the love that you have been building for two, three years. Patience, respect, mutual understanding will help you. Know how to wait, because time tests relationships. If you have truly become a stranger, do not be afraid to change your life. Learn to see only the good in change. Leave the bad in the past, look to a better future. Strong people can overcome any difficulties.
Video on the topic
Sources:
- How to keep love apart
- to your loved one when he is not around
Previously, people who loved each other met every day, went on dates, organized walks and entertainment together. Now the situation has changed a little, since such a concept as “love at a distance” has appeared in the world.
The possibility of relationships between two people who are far from each other has appeared since the advent of mobile phones, computers and other means of communication. Even if there are thousands of kilometers between you, you can easily contact your loved one, write him a message on the Internet, call him on the phone or establish a connection via Skype. Imagine those distant times when none of this existed. People left for other cities, wrote ordinary letters to each other, which are no longer written by anyone. Progress has gone too far and such romance has become outdated. It was replaced by SMS, calls, correspondence, songs and short poems that can be found on some Internet resources.
Love at a distance has become a fairly common occurrence, as sometimes people go to study in other cities, guys go to serve. Lovers always hope that time will pass and they will be able to be close to each other.
Another reason for long-distance love is social networks. People from different cities meet each other and start communicating. They had never seen each other, but they had already fallen in love not with their appearance, but with their soul. They save themselves with daily calls and correspondence, exchange photographs and wait for the moment when the distance between them will be reduced.
Some believe that such love is impossible, because one (if not both) will definitely cheat, because it is difficult to live without intimate relationships. But even from such a situation, lovers were able to find a way out, which was virtual sex.
It doesn’t matter whether your soulmate is nearby or not, the most important thing is that there are real feelings between you. Remember that no kilometers are afraid of love.
Sometimes there are people who have love relationships exclusively with partners from other cities. They rarely meet their lovers and communicate mainly by correspondence or by telephone. What can be said about the personality of a person who prefers such a relationship?
Recently, cases have become more frequent when people began to have love relationships with partners from other cities. This is facilitated by the development of means of communication, mainly the Internet. Numerous portals and dating sites allow you to meet potential lovers from different cities. Just 20-30 years ago such cases were quite rare.
There are people whose love partners appear mainly only in other cities. They themselves explain this as an accident. If you take a closer look at such cases, you can come to interesting conclusions.
Our seeker (it doesn't matter whether it's a man or a woman) starts a relationship in another city for several possible reasons:
1. Reluctance to take responsibility for relationships.
Non-resident relationships are characterized by the fact that, in many cases, it is difficult for such people to unite their destinies due to the impossibility of living in one place. Each person is attached to his city, his work, his relatives and friends. This can be a convenient reason to keep your partner at a distance and not enter into a serious, committed relationship, that is, marriage. Such people may complain that circumstances do not allow them to connect, but deep down they got exactly what they wanted.
2. Fear of relationships.
Sometimes people are very afraid to enter into new deep relationships, for example, due to previous negative love experiences. In this case, they prefer remote communication.
3. The desire to manage your time independently.
Long-distance relationships allow you to always or almost always be the master of your time and not have to answer to anyone for your actions. If your other half is not nearby, you can go to a club, go to friends, etc. at any time.
4. Reluctance to invest effort and money in developing relationships.
Having a partner in another city can significantly reduce material costs (gifts, flowers, going to the cinema, etc.) and the efforts made in caring for another person. This is usually typical for an infantile person who is not ready to invest strength and energy in a permanent relationship. It is easier for such people to talk or telephone, emotionally support their partner and express their feelings, than to help solve a problem in real life.
Sometimes only awareness of the reasons can change the situation, but in other cases, consulting a psychologist and deep introspection will help.
Sometimes a man and a woman break up due to a lack of understanding between them. If you want to carry your love through time and strengthen your relationship with your loved one, try to find out what is in his soul, how he lives and what he wants from life.
Do not rush to condemn your loved one for some offense. Try to imagine yourself in his place. This psychological technique is not new, but very effective. It helps you be more forgiving of other people's mistakes. Sometimes it doesn’t hurt to think about how you look from the outside, and how your partner might react to your actions and words. Try to understand the goals and objectives of your loved one.
Start a common hobby. A joint hobby will help you get closer and get to know each other better, and this is a serious step towards mutual understanding. Even when choosing a way to spend your free time, you can learn more about the tastes and preferences of your loved one. You can also spend a vacation together. A period during which you spend most of your time together and are not distracted by work or household chores will help you understand each other better.
Every evening, share the emotions and events that the past day brought with you. Introduce the tradition of having a heart-to-heart talk and telling each other what made you happy today and what made you sad. Just don't put pressure on your partner. If your loved one is worried about something, but is not yet ready to share with you, just sympathize, pay attention to him, without asking about anything. Respect the feelings of your loved one and do not put pressure on him. The time will come and he will tell you everything himself.
Show tolerance and respect towards other people. If your loved one sees that you are very categorical, have a negative attitude towards the mistakes of others, and are capable of harsh criticism and condemnation, he is unlikely to trust you in a difficult period of his life. Therefore, it is worth being kinder and gentler to other people. Then those around you will be more likely to open up to you, including your partner.
Principle 1. Signs of attention
A man who is in love tries to pay the maximum amount of attention to the woman. There may be a different number of signs, but they are always noticeable and very eloquent. If a man constantly compliments only one woman, gives her a smile and shows concern, he is definitely in love. Sometimes men show not only romantic behavior, but also the completely opposite. A woman shouldn’t think that a man is aggressive, he just doesn’t know how to do it any other way. His gifts say a lot about liking a woman, about a man. They are usually memorable, although they are not large in size.
Principle 2. Frequent letters and telephone conversations
If a man suddenly starts calling often or writes a lot of letters, SMS, you can also be sure that he is in love. Usually the reasons for calls and letters are far-fetched and completely insignificant, but the man cannot resist. Many letters are also usually written in poetry or simply romantic phrases.
Principle 3: Spending time together
A man who loves tries to devote all his time to a woman. He agrees to walk her home, accompany her shopping and carry her bags. He also chooses the company of a woman over friendly beer gatherings. A man may appear where he was not before more and more often, which also indicates his feelings. Oddly enough, if a man diligently began to avoid the company of a woman, although he had not done this before, it means that he has developed feelings for her.
Principle 4. Compliance is demonstrated.
If a man prefers to please a woman in everything and agrees on almost everything and does not argue, then he is probably in love with her and does not want to upset her.
Principle 5. Avoids quarrels
A man will not quarrel with the woman he loves, therefore, if he has feelings, he will avoid all possible conflicts.
Principle 6. Tries to help in everything
When a man loves a woman, he will try in every possible way to solve all her problems, help her in any little detail, support and empathize. The signs that indicate a man is in love are almost identical, with the only exception that they will try not to remember family life. Falling in love with another Probably the most unpleasant situation can be one in which a woman needs to understand whether a man has feelings for another. In such cases, the man’s behavior changes dramatically. He shows more aggression, coldness, and reproaches more and more often. He tries to look much better than before, and hides his phone and changes the passwords on his mailbox.
There are fables, stories, legends, anecdotes about relationships, but love at a distance is sad. In any case, there is a minimal percentage of happy endings to separation.
Is love possible at a distance
Numerous forced situations lead to love at a distance, due to which lovers separate for a long time - a month, six months, a year or more.
At first, it seems to them that their feelings can overcome everything, but after a few weeks, disagreements begin due to mistrust and jealousy. Then the question becomes relevant: does love exist at a distance, and how to preserve it.
Reasons for separation
Reasons for separation include:
- studying in another locality;
- long business trip;
- forced earnings due to lack of work in the city;
- the need to care for a sick relative;
- The army is the most common reason for separation of lovers.
Whatever the reason, the problems and characteristics of long-distance love lie in the same factors, which are discussed below.
What is the main problem
When asked what love at a distance is called, only boredom, sadness and an extraordinary feeling of loneliness come to mind.
As a rule, separation entails the following problems in the relationship between lovers:
| Lack of meetings and dates | The lack of tactile contact leads to the fact that the feelings of lovers begin to weaken. Psychologists say that supporting love without touching hands, hugs and kisses is impossible |
| Lack of sexual relations | Due to increased libido, it becomes difficult for a man or woman to restrain impulses, so they easily react to signs of attention from the opposite sex when their lover is not around. In a certain situation, this easily leads to betrayal, and in the future to a full-fledged separation. It’s even worse when the partner who cheated with someone else begins to hide the sexual contact that took place. This kind of situation provokes serious scandals between lovers |
| Communication with new people | Only one of the couple makes new acquaintances, while the second (staying at home) spends most of his time within the walls of his home due to the lack of desire to communicate with old friends. Simply put, he is bored, he is not in the mood. At the same time, new acquaintances of a lover or lover can end in a date and even a romantic relationship |
| Changing priorities | New acquaintances of a partner or his absence in everyday life can lead to a change in interests and life values. As a result, when they meet, lovers simply do not recognize each other and do not perceive new beliefs |
These are just the main problems that long-distance lovers have to face. Love in separation is a whole test for those who cannot accept new relationships over the phone, Skype and other virtual communication.
The illusion of loneliness
The person in the loving couple who stays at home and still lives the same life and communicates with old friends begins to feel lonely.
Psychologists say that this is possible only in the absence of real loving feelings for each other, but some misunderstanding or insufficient serious relationship between lovers is also possible.
A truly loving person often calmly accepts a long separation and, in the absence of a partner nearby, does not feel lonely due to the conviction of continuing the relationship.
It is worth considering whether there is love in a relationship if separation leads to such a feeling. If it is torture to be without a partner, it means that you overestimate your feelings and, perhaps, mistakenly regarded them as unforgettable and strong love.
You should think about breaking up in principle if you feel resentment towards your partner for leaving you for a long time. No arguments for forced departure will convince you.
As a result, feelings at a distance begin to weigh heavily - in this case, you should not waste time waiting for your partner, it is better to immediately resolve all issues and part ways.
How to save a relationship
There are some useful tips on how to save a relationship:
- It is important to determine the timing of separation - if the partner constantly delays the visit due to some circumstances, the party waiting at home will begin to be indignant and create scandals. The same illusion of loneliness will arise.
- It is necessary to fully communicate every day - this can be phone calls or Skype. The partner needs to be told about all the affairs and incidents that happened during the day - this applies to both parties.
- Short communication in reality is important - this could be weekends or holidays, which are often chosen for communication by working citizens.
- At a distance, you can invite each other on a date - with the help of modern information technologies, you can have romantic dinners by candlelight or go “together” to the cinema (at the same time and to the same film). Today there is an excellent opportunity for almost free video communication using numerous mobile programs. If this does not interfere, then you can be in touch throughout the entire session and even share your impressions a little quietly.
- Relationships cannot proceed without intimacy - it is betrayal that becomes the main reason for the separation of a couple. To minimize risks, it is recommended to keep flirting at a distance.
Intimate photos and messages will warm up the relationship, and partners will have a desire for intimacy with each other.
Those who are liberated in this topic can take advantage of virtual intimacy. Lack of communication is the reason for all separations when separated for a long time.
On Skype, for example, you can not only have a date by candlelight and wine (here it is important that everyone has the appropriate atmosphere in their territory), but also have breakfast, lunch and dinner, if the daily routine and time zones allow it.
Does love exist at a distance of 10,000 km
According to psychologists and the couples themselves, who have passed the test of distance, they assure that the number of kilometers between lovers does not matter. Yes, at such a distance from home, the opportunity to see each other is practically equal to zero.
But when using the Internet and other means of communication, you can save relationships due to the absence of doubts about feelings.
Psychologists say that separation and long-distance relationships are a real test of feelings, which not all couples pass.
This is due to a big misconception about love, which happens repeatedly. Such couples, as a rule, realize about the mistake after registering the marriage and even the birth of children.
Therefore, psychologists consider temporary separation as an excellent test of a relationship before such a serious process as marriage.
But the methods and possibilities presented above for supporting long-distance relationships in practice, according to psychologists, do not work.
If the couple has previously had problems with mistrust and lack of proper attention to each other, then distance will only worsen the situation. And even constant communication on social networks, via mobile or video calls will not save the situation.
The verdict of psychologists is simple - if there is no love between “lovers”, but there is passion or already a habit, separation will be the direct cause of separation in the future.
This is correct - it is better to understand now that you do not love a person (or that he does not love and does not value you) than to reproach yourself in the future for such a rash step as marriage.
From all of the above, it becomes clear that love at a distance is possible. But at the same time, she must be sincere and careful - if lovers are sensitive to their feelings, they will not be afraid of any separation or captivating seduction by the opposite sex.
The desire to see or hear your native voice will lead to constant communication. This means that the relationship will continue at the same level, albeit at a distance.
Video: long distance relationships. How to keep love at a distance
