Obscene congratulations for the new year by name. Happy new year sms

Here comes the old year.
Let him take with him
All hardships and sorrows
Bitch that didn't cum
And creaky beds
Headache is not welcome
The burden of paying off debts
Empty wallets
Greedy, slanderous customers,
unloved competitors,
Sticks that climb into the wheels,
From the brains of others - prostheses

I congratulate you on the new year
I write this poem with a guitar,
I wish you all a happy night
In the squeal of drunkards and the noise of crackers!

In the coffin I saw this New Year,
Gifts, blah, firecrackers, the sound of a guitar ...
Well, snow, well, night, well, Santa Claus will come,
Yes, why the hell is he needed, *** silt old?!

Yes! New Year - reveler and rake!
Opened my eyes to this bright verse!
I wanted to buy delicacies,
Ah... fuck! Get along without them!!)

Indeed, why do we need a New Year?
We can't even drink without it...
Invented a holiday for the waste of the people,
As if vodka is pouring from a well!)))

Poems for the holiday write all in a row.
Here comes the year of the nasty gray mouse,
It was like that twelve years ago.
What's new? What the **** am I writing?

May the new year prophesy for you
Prosperity and success...
And if the husband jerks at night,
Then let him masturbate best of all!

I will call your right leg New Year,
I'll call your left leg Christmas.
I will definitely visit between the holidays.

Why strain the convolutions unnecessarily?
Why torment talent and inspiration?
They got, yop * a, mother and remake,
About Christmas trees, damn it, write a poem!

My congratulations
Will be extremely short:
Let it be cool in the New Year
Forget about the word "bad"
Money so as not to count
And yummy so - not to eat.
Have fun and enjoy
Smile all year long!

I wish you a New Year
Don't forget who lives where
Keep up appearances,
So that without dancing on the table!

Eating caviar with a tablespoon
All year round, and let a little
Go crazy on New Year's Eve
And then come to your senses.

Forget about illness
Tasty to eat and sweet to drink,
Happy year you live
Do not be sad about the departed!

In the New Year I wish you
magic wand,
So that you always have
Life is great!

So that everything is like in a fairy tale:
Bright, colorful all around.
To bathe in gold
We lived in a cool palace!

It's time for fairy tales
On the eve of the New Year!
Let him dispel the worries
Will increase your income.

May all desires be fulfilled
Let love give.
Success and health
It will be drawn to you like a magnet.

Big cool congratulations

Santa Claus in red boots
And with a bag at the ready.
Dancing from door to door.
Blue nose, forehead compress.

The old one was completely driven out.
Come visit us soon
We've been waiting for you for so long.
So! Now pour one hundred grams.

We will stand together under the tree
And we lead a round dance,
Let's sing a verse, we'll get a star.
Just do it on New Year's Eve:

Go on an overseas tour
A truck of bucks and rubles,
And also, so that in the Moscow Kremlin
Take your friends to the concert.

Happiness to everyone and a lot!
So that the feast is a feast by the mountain;
So that a good road
And always led home.

To fill the glasses
And there was merry laughter.
To get together more
Sun in summer, snow in winter.

To delicious salads,
So that fun flows like a river.
Wheelbarrow, cottage and salary!
To celebrate housewarming!

So that a fun feast
Feast on honest people
To be met with bread and salt!
Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!
May he bring joy
Magic, huge success
Days and nights through.

May all wishes come true
Without much hassle
Happiness will stick firmly
And it's not far behind!

Santa Claus is in a hurry
To Olivier with herring.
He's a little pissed off
And with some aunt.

Carries a stick in his hands
sings songs
And gifts from the bag
Spread generously.

Let him give you a wallet
Where they do not decrease
Euro, bucks and rubles,
They only grow.

Gives a golden fish
To fulfill everything
And health in reserve
It wasn't so little.

And also the intensity of passions,
Undeniable joys,
Tender sincere love
And sleepless nights!

I wish you a New Year
Live without grief and worries!
Do not go all year to the pharmacy,
Pay off all mortgages
Travel to the Bahamas more often
Don't make drama out of problems
And do not accumulate resentment
Life will become easier immediately!

Happy New Year!
May you be lucky in everything
Let luck pass by
It will grab you, carry you.

And swirl with pure happiness
Life will be filled with good
Will decorate with prosperity
And surprise with success!

I wish you a New Year
Feel no anxiety
Let the bad go away
And a miracle is waiting for you all the time.

I wish pig health
In the heart of heavenly silence,
Let worries wait
Who should, let them understand.

Forgive debts, taxes, fines,
And let the boss add wages.
May the year be successful
Happy, generous without the hassle.

We'll be lucky!
And I'll bet a hundred dollars
What will happen, the year will trample!
Dream will happen anyway
Let a month later, nothing.
For our success - for Petya, Roma ...
Fuck the name, for him!

Let the New Year be special
Let everything in it be za ** s
Let the stars fall into the palms
Any whim will be fulfilled!
Let the New Year be so fucked ** tsya
So that you are fucking lucky
Let happiness smile in your heart
Let everything be to spite the enemies!

I'll fill the glasses with wine
Let me make a simple toast:
So that life does not give us brains,
In the new year there was only growth -
In a career, clear x **, in finance,
In the well-being of the family
So that no fucking romances
Our wallets did not sing!

Vulgar listen to wishes -
If life prepares punishment,

But seriously, if New Year
Let adventures bring you!

America weeps and Europe.
Think seriously about the future.
They feel like financial shit
And only Russia ** frost.

We are not used to crises.

We'll survive, motherfucker!

Let vulgar congratulations
For the New Year, mine sounds -
But I want without a doubt
May you always have...
On the table is a bottle of vodka
To in the company of friends,
Or pretty young
It has become more fun!

In the New Fairy Year
I dream of being
In the fiery hell.
If only to not meet with the mother-in-law!
Give me, Santa Claus,
Strength and hellish patience,
So that the mother-in-law had diarrhea,
Allergy, indigestion!
The rest is nonsense.
The money is there, the mind is not needed.
Always ready for yourself
I laugh until you drop.

Grandfather fucks in the cold.
In a hat, with a stick and with a bag,
And with a boozy snowman.
Next to a horse in heels
And a snow maiden on the horns.
If you meet this rabble -
So soon the new year!

A little vulgar poems about the New Year 2018

M not drunk always unlucky

I'm somehow unbridled and vulgar
Soon there will be a New Year
And I'm still ashamed of the past!

***
ABOUT I opened my eyes, but I don't see anything
I try to take a breath but I can't
What's wrong with my mouth? He is also immobilized
You wouldn't wish this on your enemy!
Panic trying to figure out what's going on
What kind of trouble could happen to me
To this memory does not find an answer for me,
Looks like my brain is out of whack right now.
I strained all the muscles, got up and, oh, a miracle!
I see again; I see a table, a window, a chair,
And then I realized, seeing the dish in front of me,
That on New Year's Eve I fell asleep in a salad !!!

IN seh Marin, Alen and Mash,
Ol, Tatyan, Irin, Natasha,
Val and Dash and Katherine
(time to take an aspirin!)
Vic, Angel, Karin and All
(at least who gave Viagra?) -
Happy New Year,
I wish you happiness, joy
Sex to all, love in full! ..
All. End. The wife came.

H Christmas Eve
carefree and passionate
We play with the reins
Do not feel sorry for half the kingdom
For New Year's Eve!

Agreed out of order
Married with champagne
dashing men,
Desired women.

In mirror toys
Moments sparkle
And the souls float
In the bliss of oblivion

And in the morning cracker
Wake up desire
Find under the pillow
Love and attention.

***
G they say, for the New Year,
Whatever you wish
Everything will happen -
Everyone is sleeping around!

***
H New year comes to me every year.
This time it came very hard. Happens...

***
ABOUT celebrate the holiday in the old fashioned way,
Let the costs be great
Gifts bought at the market
And packaged in bags

Christmas tree ready for dressing

Garlands dim glow,
Salads slender flower row

To the rhythm of a cheap guitar
Accompanied by a pipe

Who - ironically

And the New Year's protocol,

Year after year, decades
You - shampoo and chocolate,
I - a chocolate bar and "Gillette"

Overwhelmed with fun

I will take you to bed
Trapped in unfulfilled hopes

And they sound like a slap
sacramental words:

I'm sorry, I'm tired... Head...

***
AND roniya of fate, in short

In fact, everything was on New Year's Eve,

Who was going to Leningrad, to the woman.

But men, the right people,
They first went to the bath,
And gorged on beer and vodka
Gathered to celebrate the holiday with respect.

And now, drunk in the trash and with a naked torso,

And as a result of this drinking
Everyone was very thoughtful.

In short, after, at the airport,
Everyone drank cognac
And instead of Pavlik in the Yak-40

And Ryazanov was on the plane,

In short, I ended up in Leningrad

Everything turned out identical.

And then the front door suddenly opened.
And the mistress of the house appeared.

Zhenek, of course, cursed powerfully,
Shouted about a screen, a flower bed and an apartment,
What, they say, who are you such a bitch,
And, like, I live here with my mom.

Then, in general, the man pinned himself,
He introduced himself as Hippolyte,
In a coat like that, and businesslike,
Came on a red penny.

Well, Nadya tried to get away here,
Where, they say, the man here is drunk.
I handed Hippolytus a razor,
New models with self-cleaning system.

But Hippolyte was very vicious,
Got drunk and climbed into the bath
Throwing soap splashed on the floor
And flooded the neighbors, you bastard!

Then a drunk got behind the wheel
And along the Neva he drove frozen.
And Zhenya sobered up a little
And immediately fell in love with Nadia.

Well, like, Hippolyte sent to hell,
And these two are Zhenya and Nadezhda
Got two cool apartments.
What doesn't happen when you're drunk?

***
H New Year's Eve came today
A new day rises over the planet,
I'll start life from scratch
In the early morning, grams so with a hundred ...

***
P get the job done! Contingent
occupied the buffet:
tangerine-oranges,
with premium envelope...
Chef puts in the mouth
with sturgeon sandwich.
Here is a picture -
hello tree, new year!

The flu is raging across the country.
Have some vodka. Eat mushroom.
Santa Claus is on his way.
ten minutes to the president
broadcast the sermon.
Happy new year, old world!

***
TO once on New Year's Eve they drank and ate
And to unwind went to the New Year's tree.
Beauty! Around the lights, music, friends,
You move away from some, here come new ones!
In general, somehow I lagged behind my own, however.
I looked around, I see - there is a fight nearby.

Yes, not guys, the men in that fight were cut,
Only fists flashed, and hats flew off.
But the PPP drove up and the guys in uniform
We loaded all the fighters into the PAZ according to the entire pro forma.
The men sniffed, but did not resist,
And, trampled in the snow, their hats were lying around.

Well, then I quickly gathered them in an armful
And I knock with my foot on the door: "Take your hats!"
The door opened this moment, and me - for what?!
A young handsome cop was dragged into the bus.
"Let go! It's not like that! I'm for hats!"
The cop showed me a fist: shut up, they say, uncle.

Hats, just entered the department, were taken away immediately.
"So, what's this for?" - "What for? For theft!"
I did not have time to open my mouth, all of us - in the "monkey"
And such people were there - you can immediately see - a holiday!
A young intellectual with a rose cutting,
Uncle, important as an assistant professor, two Santa Clauses!

Brawlers were taken out, protocol, questions.
Only they, in the end, were released all the same.
Men do not leave, which is quite understandable:
They ask for hats that are lying, to get back.
The duty officer says to them: "These hats are from theft!"
But they say one thing: "These hats are ours!"

"A passer-by picked them up... Didn't leave with the find...
Because of us, he got here ... There he is, behind bars!
The captain opened the door for me, sober and in parade,
"Well, tell me now, everything is in order" ...
I am in detail, about everything, not sparing colors,
He saved people's hats, but he saved me to the station!
Oh, the captain laughed, and the duty officer too.
Even the peasants and Santa Clauses were laughing!

Bring something brought, and home on foot.
No passers-by, no taxis, the night was ending.
I left for an hour and did not take mobile phones,
And the family is in turmoil: where have I been all the time?
... He told about the miracles of New Year's Eve ...
And somewhere he lost his hat ... Mink, by the way.

***
B the clock is ticking on the Spasskaya Tower.
Congratulations to the people
Pours more vodka
Believes again... in the New Year...

***
H new year and Santa Claus.
Grandfather Frost is coming on the snow
The snow crunches underfoot.
Dreams give bliss
And for those who are fast asleep.
The doors are open before him.
So that no time is wasted.
And not everyone believed it
That bliss reigned.
Santa Claus gives gifts
With New Year's Eve.
Doesn't lose its brand
Glorious selflessness.
The trees were lit up
Showing off toys.
Children, girls and boys.
They drank tea with cheesecakes.
Mom, dad, grandfather and grandmother,
They sang songs under the tree.
The new year brought blessings
Saturating the air with resin.
New Year, we love you
Like Santa Claus.
Believe me - monogamous.
You have the seed of apotheosis.

WITH Soon there will be a New Year -
We are ready for the holiday
For anyone who comes
We have a basin!

New Year 2017 is wonderful holiday which we love to meet with family and close friends. Good friends should be congratulated in an original way. Especially for good friends, we have prepared interesting selection: Congratulations on the New Year 2017: vulgar, short, funny. You can send SMS to your friends or congratulate on the social network.

In the New Year I wish you
Take a kilo of health
So that the dough is not less than a meter,
Black for many centimeters,
More area for an apartment -
Three times! No, no - at four!
A ton of meat on the table
One hundred guests drunk
Hennessy thump in the morning
Happy New Year everyone, cheers!

Happy New Year, buddy! Wish,
So that magical night to you,
Unearthly beauty peeked in
Obeying the mistress-destiny!
Let this Snow Maiden caress
Your body with earthly love!
And let it not melt in the morning
And she will become an obedient wife!

Luck turned back?
Hurry to use it
Kohl in a vulgar pose bent,
Give this baby heart!
So that in the New Year she is sooner
I was in a hurry to give you everything!
Well, when love does not warm -
I want to find a new one!

Knocked on the door of the new year!
And the garlands lit up brightly!
Santa Claus brings fun to the house
As wrapped gifts!
May he also take you tonight
Congratulations on your Snow Maiden!
And then he leaves the house,
And the Snow Maiden will leave you!

They say: "Everything always comes true on New Year's Eve."
Let the Snow Maiden undress at our holiday.
He throws off his coat, boots, dances off,
And let immodest dreams come true!
And for big boys - adult gifts,
We expect sweet kisses from the Snow Maiden.
Let it stay with us - we will warm it,
We also know how to light like Santa Claus.

New Year's at your doorstep!
Make a wish quickly!
Let, girlfriend, you have a lot of them -
Those that are more expensive choose!
Do not think of cars, dachas,
Young athletes full house -
Think simple, let not macho,
But with a big and thick ... wallet!

On this New Year's holiday
I wish you:
May it come true today
What you dream about!
Let that guy come
From your fantasies!
And in the night will give you
A real holiday!

Here comes the old year.
Let him take with him
All hardships and sorrows
Sex that didn't finish
And creaky beds
Headache is not welcome
The burden of paying off debts
Empty wallets
Greedy, slanderous customers,
unloved competitors,
Sticks that climb into the wheels,
Of the brains of others - prostheses.

Happy New Year, dear friend!
Let to you on New Year's Eve
He will come to the house, hiding from the blizzard,
The one you can't drive away!
He will have a sexy look
Young athletic torso!
Daring, charismatic, brutal,
Such a cute ... Santa Claus!

In the New Fairy Year
I dream of being
In the fiery hell.
Give me, Santa Claus,
Strength and hellish patience,
So that the mother-in-law had diarrhea,
Allergy, indigestion!
The rest is nonsense.
The money is there, the mind is not needed.
Always ready for yourself
I laugh until you drop.

Happy New Year!
May for the whole coming year,
The one you dream about
Suddenly to you to live will come!
And then I know for sure
Or you will be happy
Or, (anything happens),
Dreams are about to change!

New Year and sex are similar.
Preparation for a whole year.
You spend money. Nerves too.
And as soon as he arrives
Pleasure - a second.
If macho - maybe five.
And again with a dream of a miracle
You start counting the days.

Happy New Year!
And I want to stand ...
In the garden garage
Truck full of money!
For girls to give...
Store discount!
To hug the body ...
Armchairs in a limousine!

Vulgar listen to wishes -

Seriously, new year

The holiday is coming - New Year!

Let his beard from cotton -
The main thing - for your home

Grandfather fucks in the cold.
And with a boozy snowman.
Next to a horse in heels
And a snow maiden on the horns.
If you meet this rabble -
So soon the new year!

Girlfriend, I congratulate you like this:
Let us be lucky in the New Year!
And I'll bet a hundred dollars
What will happen, the year will trample!
Dream will happen anyway
Let a month later, nothing.
For our success - for Petya, Roma ...
Fuck the name, for him!

Vulgar listen to wishes -
If life prepares punishment,
Let with a whip and in a short skirt
Life will whip you like a joke.
If sadness comes in black stockings,
Also deal with her promptly.
Seriously, new year
Let adventures bring you!

America weeps and Europe.
Think seriously about the future.
They feel like financial shit
And only Russia ** frost.
Let's get an old harmonica from the shelf,
We are not used to crises.
There would be vodka lard and potatoes,
We'll survive, motherfucker!

In the New Fairy Year
I dream of being
In the fiery hell.
As long as you don't meet your mother-in-law!
Give me, Santa Claus,
Strength and hellish patience,
So that the mother-in-law had diarrhea,
Allergy, indigestion!
The rest is nonsense.
The money is there, the mind is not needed.
Always ready for yourself
I laugh until you drop.

In a red coat with a red nose
Grandfather fucks in the cold.
In a hat, with a stick and with a bag,
And with a boozy snowman.
Next to a horse in heels
And a snow maiden on the horns.
If you meet this rabble -
So soon the new year!

The holiday is coming - New Year!
Goose in the oven, salads are being cut!
And, swaying a little, he will enter the house
Santa Claus, already a little screwed up!
Let his beard from cotton -
This holiday will not spoil at all!
The main thing is for your home
May it bring happiness and love!

H New year comes to me every year.
This time it came very hard. Happens…***
ABOUT celebrate the holiday in the old fashioned way,
Let the costs be great
Gifts bought at the market
And packaged in bags, the tree is ready for dressing
In a glittering festive outfit,
Garlands dim glow,
Salads slender flower row To the rhythm of a cheap guitar,
Accompanied by a pipe
Who will be congratulated with light steam,
Who - ironically

Observing the solemnity of the moment,
And the New Year's protocol,
Let's hear the "sound" from the President,
And, with a clear conscience, at the table

Where is the clink of glasses with "semi-sweet",
Year after year, decades
You - shampoo and chocolate,
I - a chocolate bar and "Gillette"

Overwhelmed with fun
And throwing off the "silk" of their clothes,
I will take you to bed
Trapped in unfulfilled hopes

And they sound like a slap
sacramental words:
- Put the salads in the refrigerator,
I'm sorry, I'm tired ... Head ...

***
AND irony of fate, in short, in fact, everything happened on the New Year,
Love-carrots and with light steam,
And some Pavlik is to blame for everything,
Who was going to Leningrad, to a woman. But the men, the right people,
They first went to the bath,
And gorged on beer and vodka
They gathered to celebrate the holiday with reverence. And now, drunk in the trash and with a naked torso,
They sang a song about the taiga and airplanes
And as a result of this drinking
Everyone was very thoughtful.

In short, after, at the airport,
Everyone drank cognac
And instead of Pavlik in the Yak-40
Drunk Zhenya got into the asshole.

And Ryazanov was on the plane,
Solving crossword puzzles with glasses
And drunk Zhenya with a broom under his arm,
Falling out of the chair all the time stupid.

As soon as the plane landed,
Zhenek rolled down the ladder clumsily,
Climbed into a taxi giving the address
And that's when everything started to spin.

In short, I ended up in Leningrad
The same address as in the capital.
And the house and the key, which is typical,
Everything turned out identical.

Drunk Zhenya climbed under the covers,
And he snored like a locomotive at the start.
And here Entrance door suddenly opened up
And the mistress of the house appeared.

Seeing a drunkard in his bed,
She was, of course, very frightened.
But suddenly then so powerfully bolder
She grabbed the kettle and started hitting Zhenya in the face.

Vulgar New Year's greetings

love variety and original congratulations? Then by all means take advantage of the New Year holiday and send your loved one a crazy and a little vulgar congratulations. Let your soulmate be pleasantly surprised by your cheerful mood and good mood for the New Year holidays. Perhaps it is an intimate congratulation on the New Year that will help you finally express your feelings to your loved one. sincere feelings and bold desires. Each vulgar congratulation can inflame a spark of love, passion and fire between you, as well as give your relationship some piquancy and intimacy. Let such a congratulation become your good good tradition, because such bold speeches can only be sent to the most beloved and dear person. Read, choose and give your soulmate only the most unique, original and alluring New Year greetings!

In a red coat with a red nose
Grandfather hu * rit in the cold.
In a hat, with a stick and with a bag,
And with a boozy snowman.
Near a sheep in heels
And a snow maiden on the horns.
If you meet this rabble -
So soon the new year!

Luck turned back?
Hurry up to use it

Give this baby heart!
So that in the New Year she is sooner
I was in a hurry to give you everything!
Well, when love does not warm -
I want to find a new one!

In the New Year I wish you
Take a kilo of health
So that the dough is not less than a meter,
Ch * yen for many centimeters,
More area for an apartment -
Three times! No, no - at four!
A ton of meat on the table
One hundred guests drunk
Hennessy thump in the morning
Happy New Year everyone, cheers!

Luck turned back?
Hurry up to use it
Kohl in a vulgar pose bent,
Give this baby heart!
So that in the New Year she is sooner
I was in a hurry to give you everything!
Well, when love does not warm -
I want to find a new one!

America weeps and Europe.
Think seriously about the future.
They seem to be financial f*ck,
And only Russia doesn't give a damn about frost.
Let's get an old harmonica from the shelf,
We are not used to crises.
There would be vodka lard and potatoes,
We'll survive, motherfucker!

I'll suck you today, gloriously suck,
Sea of pleasures, dear, I will bring,
Fuck me rough and don't let go
IN New Year's celebration caress your hand.
It's already twelve, bunny, be patient,
I feel strong, cool ch*en inside,
Don't stop, darling, just hold on
And then, in my mouth, put confetti down.

The New Year is rushing to visit us,
Passion and lust in my head
Sex, we, happen to you,
I won't say NO to you.
You can ask whatever you want
At least make a wish
I promise tonight
Sex will be over the edge.
Let's squirm sweetly
And feed each other
On a holiday you have to eat,
After, start again.

I would you * ball the snow maiden,
This bitch, gave under the tail
And crushed her icicles
It would be a great new year.
I would have fucked Santa Claus,
And took all the gifts
He is in blood, dirt and tears,
He begged for mercy.
We would drink vodka with him,
And they went to tear the snow maiden,
It will be that later for descendants,
In old age, tell us.

Where pi * aras humpback walks on a holiday,
And why didn't you come to visit us,
Gifts for children, what delivers again,
Or maybe the fucking old man found himself?
And where is his snow maiden f * sing twists,
And why does he not bring gifts,
Again, on the highway, he sells piss,
Do men suck on New Year's Eve?
I'll tell you guys honestly, without deception,
That the year of the Dog is still fucked up,
But still I wish you happiness
Let everyone be able to shut down hu*ts.

I look at the clock, I wait
That you will come to visit sooner,
You love me, I know that
And a shiver runs through the body again.
Between the legs is a waterfall only from a thought,
That we are with you in the New Year,
We opened the doors to the world of debauchery,
Passion will take us in the net.

The house smells of frozen urine,
Someone notably vomited on the balcony,
And the Snow Maiden is next to me,
I petted her yesterday.
New Year lives in our hearts,
This is a fairy tale and earthly happiness,
Someone is in the bathroom, someone is fucking
And the Snow Maiden is next to me.
Have fun and play, kids
Our time of happiness is golden,
Have fun and walk until the morning
And the Snow Maiden is next to me.

The New Year is rushing to visit us,
Soon everything will happen
Santa Claus is knocking on the window
And the Snow Maiden will come.
There will be songs, there will be dances,
Let the vodka flow like a river
Let's start playing with the heifers
Between the legs leading the hand.
We'll get drunk like dogs
We'll fuck everything in a row,
And we'll get into fights again,
I like to celebrate New Year.

New Year's greetings: