What to do if you are unhappy with your life? If you are not satisfied with what you intend

If you are unhappy with the position you are in, change it! You are not a tree! Jim Rohn I think you have often wondered “Why is this happening? Why do I have such a husband / such a wife? Why do I have such a child / mother / brother? Why do I have such a job? Why am I not satisfied with my life? Who is to blame? And why are there people who are doing well, everything is the way they want?

Let's try together to answer the question: "Who is to blame for the fact that you do not like your life?"

First, I will ask you a counter question: “Is it important to look for someone to blame?” Well, you found it, what's next? We tell the guilty everything that we think about him, thereby spoiling the relationship, absolutely not thinking about: “How will this help me improve my life?” We were brought up in such a way that someone else is to blame ... The main thing for us is to express everything that boiled, everything that hurt and everything that came to mind in this moment! We do not think about the consequences and the meaning of the words spoken. We always blame someone: fashion, weather, government, wife, boss, genes, etc. Why?

So, I'll tell you a secret, the root cause of our problems is the COMPLAINT and the search for the guilty! When we find them, we automatically remove the responsibility for this task from ourselves. Because we start thinking about how to explain and prove to a person that he is GUILTY, and not about how to solve this problem on our own.

After all, what is our life? Our life is our thoughts, our actions, our deeds and as a result of all this - our happiness or misfortune!

When we look for the culprit, we usually find it. But the situation does not change from this. Ask yourself the question: why am I looking for someone to blame, and why do I want to prove to a person that HE IS GUILTY? What will it give me? Where will it take me? By answering honestly, you will understand the meaninglessness of your actions and realize that you are just living your life in vain.

Why waste your precious time to prove that someone is to blame, not you?
From accusations our life does not change, more often it gets even worse, and we again continue to blame and complain. Wouldn't it be better to take responsibility and ask yourself some open-ended and provocative questions? Here are some of them:

How COULD I draw this situation?
How can I stop this?
How CAN I change this?
What does this situation teach me?
Why is it given to me?

Why don't you ask yourself such questions?

I understand, because by answering this question, you will see WHO is actually responsible for your life. Blaming others, being offended by others, proving something to someone, you are going nowhere! After all, everything that surrounds you now, you created yourself. The root cause of the problems is YOU! Recognize it. Even if it will be very difficult to do, take responsibility for your problems!

What can be changed to make it better?
If you are unhappy with your
life - change your actions!
Unknown author

Sit in a quiet environment, focus and answer yourself the question:

- Where am I going?
- What do I want?
- What kind of relationship do I want?
- How can I achieve this?
- What am I doing wrong?
What are you willing to do to improve your life?
- How would you like to live further?

1. Answer questions honestly, be honest with yourself.
2. Make a plan for improving the situation now.
3. Take small steps right now. Call and make peace with a friend/brother, make an appointment with the doctor.
4. Write a list of things you've wanted to do for a long time. Read a book. Talk to your family, listen to them.

I am sure that any problem can be solved with the help of open questions, honest answers and sincere actions!

The most important thing is that after reading the article, do not close the tab and calmly go on complaining, but right now start doing something to improve your life! Let in small steps, centimeter by centimeter, but you will come to what you want. The most important thing is to START.

If you want to, do 10 squats right now and spend the evening walking.

If you dream about strong family, right now write what does not suit you and what steps can be taken today to change the state of affairs in the family.

If you don't have enough money, start reading books about financial independence and build your new relationship with money bit by bit.

And so on for each question. Before you do something, ask yourself, how does this action bring me closer to my goals?

What if you don't want to do it? Tired, boring, hard. So here is the answer to your question. If you really wanted to change your life, you would have moved mountains long ago!

True desire is a thousand possibilities, and unwillingness is a thousand reasons!
And since everything suits you, then live, enjoying life, drinking beer in the evenings, lying on the couch in front of the TV. Scolding her husband and son, and not complaining about anything. Especially for life.

But you better thank life for giving you a chance to live so many wonderful moments on earth!

This note was found on windshield car and handed over to the police station on duty by a frightened car owner. Strongly written!

"DEAR FRIEND!

Your car "Toyota-Lexus" state. No. 307-56 is located in the parking lot near the house on the street. Lermontov, 10.

Every night, the residents of this house are forced to listen for several hours to various overflowing melodies emitted by the burglar alarm of your car. During this time, you have never deigned to cancel the alarm remotely or directly, having the opportunity to do so. But you are completely unable to wake up after your nightly orgies and turn off your "siren".

I have a huge request to you: be more respectful of the people living next to you and try to continue to control the sounds made by your new beautiful car. I strongly recommend that you make it a rule in the coming days to turn off the false alarms emitted by the security system of your car in a timely manner at the slightest extraneous sounds, such as: a patrol car passing along this parking lot, barking stray dogs, short-term duty signaling in a neighboring car, etc.

If my request is not granted in the near future (two days), and ignoring the "alarm" signal off within 10 minutes, your luxury car will suffer the following fate:

First, with a sharpened drill, I almost silently pierce the glass of the driver's door, penetrate into the cabin and press the hood opening button. If the alarm does not give a command to unlock the lock, then by means of a mount I will slightly lift the hood and, through the resulting gap of 2 cm, I will bite the hood lock assembly with hydraulic scissors, penetrate into the engine compartment and break x ... the plastic "siren" of your uh... signaling. Then I'll rip out the ignition wires and put my "spider" of wires with a pulse distribution processor.

Following the "siren" will fly and bitten locks on the steering wheel and pedals. Then I’ll connect a hose from a 5-liter canister of gasoline that was stored in advance to the fuel injection system, throw it right under the hood. I’ll also stretch a “lash” of wires there to bypass the electrical system. In a minute, I will press the cylinder of the “Multi-Loca” lock on the gearbox with a hydraulic vice and start the engine. In two minutes and twenty seconds, I will leave the parking lot in your Lexus.

After a week of unsuccessful search, when the power supply of the immobilizer runs out, I will pull the car out of the river, drowned in a secluded place, find a used immobilizer and make it preventive maintenance in a rented garage. And in a week, your former car will squeal with a new alarm already at another fag like you, in another yard, in another city, where, fortunately, I will not be at that moment.

You have two days left to think. During this time, I will try to improve my skills and try to steal your car in 53 seconds, like the one ... "Lincoln - Navigator" that gave nightly concerts under the windows of ... my mother's apartment."

Is it possible to love something that does not suit you? Let's be honest with ourselves. Not all of you ideal relationship. Most of them are bad. You endure scandals, beatings, betrayals. You go to a hateful job where you are exploited.

How to love something that does not suit you?

After you have allowed so many unacceptable things in your life, you try to love them all. You try to love the fact that your parents are eating your brains out, despite your age. You are trying to love your children despite the fact that they do some monstrous things. You try to love your partners who hurt you, offend you and humiliate you. You yourself allowed all this!

Why did it happen? Because you were not clear in your decision. You didn’t convey that it’s impossible to do this, it’s impossible at all, from the word at all. You didn't tell the other person that if they behave like this, you will stop communicating with them.
After you've allowed it all, you try to love it. Does not work. You get upset. And falling in love is impossible! And you have an interesting cycle. I want to love, I even need to, but it turns out toxic. But it’s impossible to fall in love normally, because there’s nothing for it.

Many people ask me, “What should I do in such situations?”

And so what are you waiting for? That I will say some wonderful phrase, and all your crap that you have been doing for years will go away and disappear? They wrote to me more than once: “I have loans, can you help me?”. What can I do? Probably, they are waiting for this - I snap my fingers, charge you a glass of water, then you drink this water, go to the online bank, and there the debts are zero.

You know, I'm not a magician or a wizard. I am a doctor. And I tell you your disappointing diagnoses. Want to work on your own? Yes, no problem - I will give you material for work for several years. But that's just without guarantees of any achievements at all. Even if you agree to work with me, it will take weeks or even months.

Finally, understand that training is necessary for your growth. External resources must be used! For example, a car, a train, an airplane are all external resources for getting from point A to point B. Of course, you can walk. But how long will it take? Without the help of professionals, you are like a pedestrian without a navigator. You go, but you don't know where.

Let's be honest. If something doesn’t suit you, but you don’t want to change anything (laziness, fear, etc.), then you try to love it through force. From the category of "you can not change the situation - change the approach." Yes, sometimes it works. But not when you're sitting in a puddle! Dear ones, do not try to figure out how to love something that does not suit you. Change yourself and work on your environment.

What do you think: "Why are we not satisfied with relationships with some people?"

The box opens quite simply: in our head there is our own idea of ​​​​how people should behave towards us (this is a synthesis of experience taken from parental family, own life and public attitudes).

This is some A set of Rules and Regulations, including our.

And if the behavior of another person does not fit into it, the relationship with him does not suit (or ceases to suit).

There is nothing wrong with having such a "Vault", except for a small, but Very Significant Nuance:

There are no identical people in the world! And each has its own Code and its Rules!

How then to build relationships? By what principles?

The options are not very diverse. To summarize them, we can:

To adapt to other people's Values ​​and Beliefs, and to "score" on one's own

Defend your Values ​​and Beliefs, and "score" on Others

Live in accordance with your Values ​​and Beliefs and treat Strangers with respect!

What is the result of following these options? See article " and others on this topic.

Only the last option allows you to build exactly the kind of relationship that you dream of!

I can confirm by own experience and the experience of friends who have chosen this path. I will not say that everything happens quickly, easily and simply. But, thanks to this, my relationship with my loved ones has become very harmonious! Increased acceptance and understanding of each other.

So, this is absolutely accurate: "The more you start accepting others (as they are), the more they accept you!"

It takes some effort to recognize: "

Do not flatter yourself and think that you know better than your children, parents, spouses, acquaintances, etc., what is actually better for them. After all, everyone comes to receive their lessons and experiences.

This phrase is my favorite! I remember her very often:

There are 3 kinds of Deeds: God's Deeds - Your Deeds and Other People's Deeds!

When you go about your own affairs, without interfering in the affairs of other people, and the affairs of God, you are for real happy. C. Byron

You can’t even imagine how much life changes when you start looking at relationships and everything that happens through the prism of these simple lines.

Life often shows us: "The biggest difficulties arise precisely when we do not want and spend all our strength to fight it!"

In this case, we always lose. You can resist all your life and stay that way. And you can think: "What does our Reality say? What does it reflect?

We live in

Everything external is just a manifestation of what is happening inside us.

Why blame the reflection?

If you gain 20 kilos excess weight, but it would not occur to you to scold the mirror.
Agree, it is rather absurd to be angry and offended by your reflection. And demand that it be changed immediately.

But in life we ​​endlessly complain about our "Mirrors": about the people and situations that come into our lives.

Moreover, having become a "victim of circumstances" we need a "support group" ( !)

Support is, of course, good, but not in this case.

Imagine that you are standing in front of a Mirror and branding it for its terrible reflection.
The support group agrees: " What a Mirror! Dump him! Or better yet, smash!
But Life is arranged in such a way that even if you get rid of the nasty "Mirror", a new one will arise. And the image in it will not be any better. Until you realize that it's up to you!

If you are not satisfied with your relationship with your husband, wife, children, loved one, boss, or someone else, this is sure sign, indicating that You don't have a relationship with yourself!

Everything that you don't like about yourself (and like it too), you project onto other people (who are selected according to the "Principle of Similarity"), and they only reflect it.

So people with whom you are not satisfied with the relationship are the most accurate Beacons, signaling: "Attention! Urgently take care of yourself!"

And if you pay attention, you can easily understand what they are broadcasting to you!

Are you being lied to all the time?

Think: " What are you fooling yourself about?

- Maybe you have been planning to do something for a long time, but to this day "feed yourself with promises?"

- Or maybe you are trying hard not to notice the obvious facts?

Then it is not surprising that someone will appear in your life who will deceive you. The stronger "everything is running", the more Deception will be manifested in the Outside World.

Are you often insulted?

Ask a question: "And how many times a day do you insult yourself? Do you scold yourself for some actions or mistakes? Do you consider yourself a Loser? Unworthy?

Follow your speech. Our words are not so harmless (when you slap your forehead and say: " What a fool I am!" the subconscious takes them literally).

Until you stop doing this, you will continue to receive abuse from others. Each time the method will be less environmentally friendly and more visual.

Sadly, we do not want to notice the most obvious things and pay attention only when the situation becomes critical.

Maybe your spouse is not averse to kissing the bottle? Are you tired of fighting with him?

Look at it from a different perspective: " He's wasted his life! What are you doing?"

Isn't it the same? In the same way, you mediocrely burn yours!

Spending time and energy on the "Things" of another person and the Fight against Reality, you successfully "score" on your life. The more actively you do this, the stronger the "Feedback" will be!

Sometimes a person fights with the whole World!

And this is just a signal that there are a lot of contradictions inside him that are tearing him apart in different sides. And until he works them out, the struggle will not leave his life.

If you:

- don't love yourself

- do not respect

- do not appreciate

- do not pamper

- do not listen to the call of your Soul, to your Desires

Why do you expect others to do it?

The only thing they can help you with: Demonstrate how you feel about yourself!

It happens unconsciously. But, all the same, it is unpleasant to accept such lessons, especially from loved ones and loved ones.

You will receive them exactly until you realize that he is just a Mirror, thanks to which you have the opportunity to see yourself better.

All you need to do:

Do you understand what is being broadcast?

Thanks for the tip.

Try to look inside yourself and answer the question: "What am I doing wrong?"

Change you, change people! It's easy to check!

As for the Cases that are "in the Jurisdiction of God", then there is a similar story.

A lot of what's happening is what you need! You must go your way! Develop the necessary qualities, Wake up and get rid of delusions and negative attitudes. After all, it is they who create filters that distort Reality (therefore, everyone has their own Reality). Just remember:

- It is impossible to change Reality without accepting it!

- It is impossible to resist Reality, and at the same time notice the Tips and Signs of Fate (which are literally scattered on our Path)

They are only visible to those who focus on them.

For the most active fighters with Reality, God gives TIPS that are impossible not to notice!

It's just tougher. Is it worth bringing this up?

Many people are so obsessed with controlling others that they completely forget about themselves. They stop seeing and hearing things in themselves that have nothing to do with controlling others. They are too busy to take advantage of the full opportunities that life has given them. E. Shostrom

ALL THE BEST!

WITH THANKS! ARINA